 I didn't think this video would actually be a thing, but after an hour of going against some of the world's best players in Mario Kart Online, neither me or Dion had gotten a single first place. So in a split second, we both made the decision that we were going to double down and get into a lobby and actually get some wins against these players. The only mistake is that we loaded into a lobby with some of the most threatening me's to ever play the game. Bro, look at Step and Eric! Are they brothers? Yeah, but they both have different emotions, bro. One's like, yeah! The other's like, yeah! Yeah, you would go up to them and they'd be like, one of us always lies. The other always tells the truth. They'd be under this bridge that's right in front of us. Got some gates called even in each other, bro. My brother's the paradox, brother. Bro, I can't be laughed at, I gotta get first place. Ah, you know what? If you step into our chamber, they'd be prepared to face the danger. We should have just recorded a U-Gap. No, my double box is gold Mario player. Hey, bro, we can do that, too. Whatever you're trying to get into for real, bro. Gold Mario, bro. Look at this play. Mario, you know he's good at the game. Why are you waving at him? He was waving at me, bro. Damn, my nose itches. Watch out, pigeons. Coming through. Pigeons. Motherfuckers said, or they doves, there's birds here, bro. Say, please don't hit me. Face-ass. I canonically, uh... I hit a pigeon when I was on a road trip on accident, bro. But it wasn't in the way you think. Damn, I didn't even notice the blue shell. I didn't get any indication of warning. I actually canonically killed the pigeon. Well, I don't know. I hope it didn't die, bro. But, like, it just... It flew by and it hit my windshield as I was driving. I was like, what are you doing? That's on him, bro. That's on him. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I couldn't feel bad. I couldn't feel bad because he misflayed. That was him. That was all him. Oh, my God, bro. Somebody knocked the coins out of everybody. Gold Mario, get off the road, bro. Yeah, with personal. Yeah, from first to tenth. Sounds about Mario Kart. All right, here comes my fire flower. I'm gonna use it strategically. And by strategically, I mean, fucking please. Buddy, I heard you say strategically as I saw nothing but fire ahead of me. Move with your green shell! Use it or lose it, bitch! Get the double box nice. This... I can't laugh yet. This is gonna be my perfect comeback victory. Maximum speed. Maximum speed. God, I'm gonna need another double item box. Fast! Not green shells! All right. Oh! Double hit with the green shell! Oh! Oh, he don't miss! Oh, my God, he doesn't miss! Defense? Okay. Okay. That was pretty pathetic for me, but, you know, it's just the beginning. I am so happy the gold Mario ended in tenth after what he did to me. Yeah. I deserved first place, so I am still quite sad. I mean, I'll take a third, but oh, total circuit. Wait, we got another pair of twins in here. Look at the two with the glasses, bro. There really were a lot of kids here. Bro, me and your me are dancing on my screen. We're like, hey, man, we may not look the same, but we're brothers, too. They might not know it, but we're a little duo ourselves. Hey, Bado, we got to canonically come up with, like, little sentences that we finish for each other. Just like the Paradox Brothers. Just like in regular conversations with other people. I know, but don't ever address it. We just do it and then move up. All right, we'll come up with that script soon. Let's just immediately steal one from the Paradox Brothers. If you step into our chamber, then you have to say, then prepare to face the danger. Then you better prepare to face the danger. Oh, dang, I didn't know the toes were just big balloons. Big balloons. I thought these were actual guys, bro. I don't know why that's sad. You just thought those were giant toes? Like omnipotent gods looking over our eyes? No, I'm saying, I thought the map view was from the perspective of, like, that yellow zone. I think that was him. I thought it was him, but, like, he was just falling down from, like, a cliff or something in front of me. You thought he was dying? You want to survive this Mario, bro? Yeah, okay. God damn it! Was that you with the brother plant? I got to put him on a leash. I'm about to beat your ass. I got shot out of the air already. I hit nobody with the horn, but let's face it, having a horn in seven places is really just fucking asinine. Just kind of embarrassing, honestly. I'm hitting walls and I got beat the fuck up. Was that you? Yeah, I was on this last lap. I ruined your life. Watch this. Bro, relax. No, shut the fuck up. Where are you? I'm running from you now. No! Come back! Woo! Woo! Woo! Mercy! Mercy! Bro, I need something speedy, something speedy. Are you sure? Move! No! Damn! Hey, as long as I passed you a little dumbass. That's not even fair, bro. I still owe you, like, seven punches, bro. I still owe you an ass whooping, bro, and I'll just let you know at some point in one of these races it's going to happen. Oh, my God! Look at this, me! Wait, are you talking about the science professor? Yes, bro. Every me that enters this place has a wacky zady personality, bro. Amara the me. Amara the me. Motherfucker watches nothing but Boku no Hero Academia, Iowa. Yo, you know this guy be watching Naruto as well. I thought my boots was pointed. I hate this map! This was the worst map on the tier list. Put up the tier list. This was the worst map on the tier list. It's just bad bone-dry dunes. Trash. Trash. It's trash to me. Bone-dry dunes. Literally throw it away. Aesthetic trash. Music trash. Turns trash. Everything about this map trash. The turns. Lack. Oh, Brother Lakatu is playing physical. AOE splash damage, man. How did he not get hit? This fucking Waluigi just Ultra Instinct. My goddamn banana. The banana's on me, and he just like... Nicely... Of course! I know you ain't laughing. I'm too nice! I took his phone out. I hope Nintendo actually just refers to my tier list to like, no, which maps not to include a Mario Kart 9. I'm still in third, but it was Richie. What is the point of this ramp? Man, it's just a... Oh, Brother, you got nothing but critiques for this map, huh? I hate it! Wait, I got a horn too. Don't use your horn, please! I'm just a little guy in third place, man. Don't mercy. When should I use my horn? No! Yeah, why would you tie it? I know I didn't, but why would you even try to tie it like that, bro? Oh, my God, that would have crushed my emotions. I know, bro. Everybody was trying to hit me last minute. I just physical baseballed you in the end screen. I was gonna say, I'm not just part of the end screen. If you're planning for a duel, be ready to be made a fool. You just got to say if you're planning for a duel, and then I'll finish it. Oh, Brother, Moo Moo Meadows, dude. Oh, fucking Erochi Maru with the crown. We got to change that. You got Sasuke's dad with the shotgun. I was gonna say, that is his dad. I only care about Itachi. Bro, I didn't show my screen. Erochi Maru's view was perfectly behind Sasuke. He was plotting his next move, dude. That's crazy. With me? What in this race? Let me find it. It's Steph, he's a fucking news anchor. I'm Steph Ubecha, and today you're watching Channel 4 News. We're out here on Moo Moo Meadows, where I reckon I'm going to race. Yes, I'm going to be stepping up to my own race today. Oh, my God, look at these toes. They're waving us off. I'll bring them back a victory. If that was how they sounded, I would tell them to just wave it over. That can sound like they're getting punched though. That's always sound. That's like a toad toy, dude. Yes. Do you press the belly to have it make a noise? What's he gonna say? Oh, come on, man. Oh, my God, not that. Who did it? Was that the bot? Did you do the bot? Yes, that was me. We're even now. Bro, what the hell? That was devastating. Oh, my God. It was like a crowd of people basping me at a green goblin grenade rolled out, bro. Evil Toby McGuire brew. Can I cry? Oh, okay. All right, now I owe you three more asking people. I'm an 11 now. Why is so multiplicative, bro? Yo, where are you? Not another bomb! Did you get hit by it? No, I dodged it that time, thankfully. I was hoping to catch the scraps of you with my star. Adder, show me have a star and it disappeared for me to get hit by lightning. Of course, there's a fucking green shell just sitting right where I want to fucking drive. Why are the cows there? They're flocking, dude. The cows are moving today. Oh, brother, I've got so many mushrooms. I've got a need for speed. Banana! Oh, last second, third. He's sniped. Dion! Oh, you dodged it. Dotto, I don't want to hear anything from you. I will see you in the next round, bro. You're going next, bro. We'll see you in the next round. We still haven't got a first place! This is bad out here, dude. This lack of two players. I've gotten second, bro. Have you seen a second place? If we get this rainbow road, two things are going to happen. One, I will win. I will win. Oh, look at this, it's me! And two, the me with purple hair came right up. I'm the one! Oh, yeah, two things are going to happen. One, I'm going to win if we get that rainbow road. And two, my screen will go black when I play this map. I don't know if it's the colors or if it's my capture card, but like, my screen just shuts down for like two seconds and it's enough for me to fall off. But I'm used to it now. It has a number! 1048! What is this experiment? It escaped from the lab. It escaped from the lab, yeah! Victory! What is this? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That's how it sounds, bro. I am going to terminate my goals. Why do we get it like a Sonic Omega? I don't even know how I feel about 1048, bro. I'm scared, bro. One anger moment from blowing up the fucking air. I'm being pushed away by the car! I got swept away! Oh, my God! Dotto! You inadvertent dumbass! I'm here doing that, bro. Somebody ran into my share. I'm being pushed away by the car! I got swept away! Oh, my God! Dotto! You inadvertent dumbass! Yes, I am known as Uzuit Tengen, the sound pillar, the Hashira, from Emit Sunayiba. Get it, you dabbled in the manga once or twice. Hey! Who did it? I was just scared of the stars all the time, and then of course I get sniked by a random straight green star. Bro, you know what? This one's for this stupid lack of two player. Yeah, I'm coming for that lack of two player. Move, don't get caught, you fucking... All right, I'm making a big move here. Whoa, why did gravity just bring me back down to Earth, man? I was flying so high! Hey, where are all these bullet bills coming from, bro? I wish I could have one. 1048! 1048, come here, I'm a big fan! It's me, I'm Bullet Bill. What? I got zapped! Yep, must be tough, must be tough! Must be tough! Must be tough to not be number one. Having a star with somebody lightnings is just song. No! No! Go down! Did you? I ran into a wall. This man left a comical imprint on the bridge. Like the Tom and Jerry also. I just got rid of my banana... Ah, Kitsune! This man left an imprint like SpongeBob leaving the kitchen. Come on, bro, please! I used the horn for protection! Hey, Dion, I tried to do something pretty ignorant to you there and I'm going to apologize now. If you could see my face. I just got fucked, man. I just got fucked, man. Oh my God, bro. You slaving it to that bridge was funny. It was a bridge of big blue. I know you like big blue, bro. Big blue is a great map. No, 1048! They took it back! She said simulation terminated. Maybe even a robot like me can feel something. I'm just kidding, sir. Thank you so much for the experience. I will see you. No, 1048! Oh, we had a whole anime saga with the character that we will never quite fully understand. Look at that yocap there! Bro, I'm tired of this Lakitu player being in front of me. This man is consistent. Shut up. Why are you hitting me like that, bro? Man, I was going to say, bro, why are we getting this map? I know, this is the fucking many daughters map. Careful with the bananas, man. Hey, bro, a lot of bananas just be out, dude. Bro, you know you're a pro Mario Kart player when you start throwing bananas forward. When you throw a banana forward, that is a hope and a prayer right there. I guess you could say that we're half way there. Wow! Yeah, we got it! What's going to hit me? Why did the Red Shell notification pop up so late? God, am I on an Android device? He's taking shots at Android. You left them too. You're not allowed to defend them. What a thrift. What a thrill. What a thrill. You have a Red Shell, but I'm going to save that for Dotto Doya. I know I need to race even better. Stop, even faster. This is my way, loser. This is between first place and me. It's so immaculate, dude. Yeah, if I could just, like, I don't know, not get hit by every fucking Red Shell that exists in this fucking game. Oh, my God, why are you throwing it backwards? Be better, do better. Why am I getting hit by everything? Yeah, I'm intent. I don't want to hear anything from you. Oh, the lack of two players. Oh, justice. God, if there was no items, I'm literally the best driver here. This is a cool NASCAR, bro. I am riding around that server faster than anyone else. Why do you have a golden mushroom in fourth place? I'm beating somebody's ass. Ask me, why are you faster than my star? Hacker! Hacker! How did Kody have all of the tools? This man had a golden mushroom and green shells, and I'm being beat by losers that don't deserve to be beat right now. Please! All of you should be behind me. Trash should stay in the trash. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That race really fell apart. That race fell apart because everybody just started gaming. That did nothing for me. I was... I had a star in all the mushrooms a man could ever want, and I went to ninth. How the hell are we ever going to get first place? I don't know. I missed 10-48. Of course, we got the one fucking awful pick from the one idiot in the lobby. I accidentally voted shot guy falls before everybody convinced me. Bro, Antonio and Mari, I have a feeling. You just make it up love stories, bro. Bro, they're both from Spain. I'm going to say that there are a power-dynamic couple hoping to get some easy Mario Kart wins, but they've come to the wrong place. Not with us here. Comment section. Comment down below who's going to get first place first in this video or can also vote for none of us. I was going to say that's a safe bet at this point because we get cooked. But you know what? Hold on. This is kind of my map, bro. It's kind of my map for real. You are the only one in the lobby who picked it. Let me get a coin. Those are like long-term speed investments. It's lack of two players fighting me, bro. He's fighting me. You don't want it though. I'm in a strong second. I'm in a strong second right now. Eric has fired. Yeah. Muscle him out of the way. Let him know. Let's go. I do what I do. I don't even need to look at the points. Move, man. We can hugely benefit from speed boost. I will long lip the king of your ass so quick. Wait, no, you have a bomb. Stop playing. Who bomb that is? Watch me throw it, man. Yo, Jit, you be playing too much for him. Oh, why are you hitting me so goddamn hard? It's jokes for you. Oh, we jumped it. That was sick. Put that in the montage. Let me show you how to really use a bomb. I'm going to take myself. Move, man. He's invisible. He's a fan. You've heard of Danny Phantom, but now it's Antonio Poltergeist. Man, this is off friend. Is that all? Hey, he's in the glass. The Dotto! I hope you get cooked. I hope you get cooked. I hope you get cooked. Damn, I love Mario Kart, bro. And Dion's going to finish right behind me in second. At what cost, Dotto? Our friendship? I know what you did to me. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I swear, bro. You saw it wrong. It was the other guy with the green show. I need to see. I need to see. I just need to see a car fact. I need to see a replay of that. I am running you, bro. Oh, my God. Who making fun of Chuckie? What? Why Spain? Oh, wait. That's Germany. I was about to say Spain taking over, but they flag pretty similar, bro. It's just the same colors. All right, I'm saying finale race, dude. This is the final race. I just can't believe my good friend Dotto just won the game. I wasn't me, bro. I tried to help you, bro. I tried to get that green show guy out. I tried to get down Mr. President, you, bro. But it didn't work, bro. The sense of our foes will be paid! I'm in ninth right now, but I'm planning on getting a sweet first. Yeah, that's mine, bitch. Being in first just means nothing at the beginning of the race. It really doesn't. I like to plant the seeds. Who robs from me, man? Bro, I'm gonna hit you with your iconic boomerang. That don't even make sense if you're only watching this video. I got it, Tony O'Polder. Let's go. Speaking of phantoms, bro, I myself am also a phantom. Okay, your phantom just took my item. Cool. Enjoy the green show. I did not. I used it for nothing. I'm gonna hit him through the... God! Stop! Whoever just... The phantom's just taking all my shit. You're in second, bro. Deon, this could be your win. It was that lack of two player, bro. I told you he's a menace. He's a bitch. You want one more race there? All right, let's get into the next one. You know a map we gotta end it on. If you pick what I pick... I hate you. It's not like it's gonna land on my map choice, bro. Cheese land is awful. Actually, let's establish trash real quick. Cheese land is trash. This is not a good map. I don't like the map design in terms of the actual route we're taking. I don't think I like the OST of it. Cheese land is trash. Of course! Well, I didn't think it would land on it, now did I? God, I can smell this map from here. It's awful. Bro, you know this straight from under, too. Look, you can see it. That's not even sand blowing. That's just the aroma of nasty STs. Not a fan of the aesthetic. No! Imagine this actually existing in the real world. How awful that would be. Yeah, a fucking case of land, dude. It's so nasty. I'm taking a shortcut. Damn, round one shortcut? First place, off to it. Well, now I'm in second. I just want you to know, you just got an innocent Bowser Jr. to ask me because I thought it would be nice when I'd be there. You're like, I didn't even do anything. You got the wrong guy. I'm not the guy you're looking for. God, why is Katsune always in front of me in the beginning of these races, man? Oh, Katsune just fell. Oh, Katsune actually is back. What? Of course, I got stopped by the inevitable fucking cheese. The inevitable cheese? The cheese that was always going to happen? Yeah. Yeah, look at us, bro. I do have a banana to watch your placement, you know? Chef, fuck off and don't talk to me. I'm just trying. I'm just saying, man. What? God! Of course! You just can't script it to me any worse than that. You just cannot script it to be any worse than what just occurred. Ain't no way the blue shell of my dreams just hit me, bro. No, it gets worse. I landed on a fucking ban. I'm angry. This race fell apart for me, man. I have zero coins. That's how much I've been getting cocking cooked. Cocking cooked? Bro, I'm actually out of this race. This one is a go next kind of thing. I'm saying that, but I guess I'm still technically in fourth. I'm in third. If you look at the map, third, second and first are not even... It's a very different game, bro. A very different experience. No, no, I wasted the... I deserve to lose. I deserve to lose. I deserve to lose. It's fine. I'm literally just... I just deserve it. I had three red shells in one mushroom. I was mashing my red shells and it made me use my mushroom into the sand. You mean the cheese? Yeah. Anyway, that's going to be our Mario Kart series. I hope you enjoyed it. And whatever you do, I'll wrap this up for you. I hope you guys enjoyed the show. It was a really good time. And editor, just go ahead and cut back to my screen as I wave goodbye to everybody. Nothing else on my screen in particular to be looked at. So we're just going to end the video. Wait a minute! End the video!