 You're listening to highlights from The David Feldman Show, heard nationwide on Pacifica Radio, or as a podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and now YouTube. Please subscribe to this channel. For more information, go to davidfeldmanshow.com. Thank you for listening. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps. Joining us from Los Angeles today is Writers Guild Award-winning comedy writer and comedian and roast battle champion Dave Cyrus. Hello Dave Cyrus. Hey, how you doing? I don't like calling myself roast battle champion. That's just something the club owner called me once. So I just want to make sure everyone is clear. I am not self-proclaiming myself champion. And what about this movie you're writing with Pete Holmes? What movie is that? I haven't met the guy. I haven't. I'm good at sorting. I have heard you mentioned multiple times on your show that I'm writing with Pete Holmes. Who I have never met. But that's actually convenient for me because the person I'm actually writing a movie with, I'm not supposed to say publicly. So you did me a real solid. Dave Cyrus is written for Saturday Night Live. He's written for Triumph the Incelcomic Dog. He is a roast battle champion. That means everything to me. And he won't admit it, but he's writing the big new Pete Holmes movie. I hope Pete Holmes hears this and gets really confused. After the success of crashing, I would assume you can't talk about it, but you and Judd Apatow are writing a big movie for Pete Holmes. You know what happens? If you tell a lie long enough in Hollywood, they go, what the hell? We might as well do it. Well, lies are becoming more and more credible these days. So it sounds like you just figured out how to get a movie contract. On today's show, we're going to talk about the cash me outside girl, our troll culture. We're not going to talk about Donald Trump and his tweets. We are not going to do that. And we're going to try not to. We're going to try not to. And you are saying to me before the show started that elitism is a good thing, but you're at it in and out burger in LA as we speak. How can you be an elitist? Well, I mean, Eric Trump was at in and out to any stole soda, if you remember. So he's an elite. He stole soda. Yeah, there's a there's an Instagram photo somebody took with Eric Trump at an in and out burger. And you see he's holding one of those water cups, those little clear cups that they give you for water. And it's filled with lemonade, which means Eric Trump stole lemonade. Allegedly. In the name of St. Jude's. Yes, of course. He is a very charitable person. I'm sure he just wanted to save every penny he has to give to some charity that will buy paintings of his father. Maybe it wasn't lemonade. Maybe he was buying a hooker's urine to pour over his dad. Do you ever think about that? Well, yes. I would think that now Eric Trump can be more concerned about where he buys his lemonade from and getting photographed with it, because that's a very good point. I would never drink lemonade again if I was in the Trump family. I thought we weren't going to talk about Donald Trump. It's impossible. We're talking about we're trying to talk about the 14 year old troll girl and the problem is it relates directly to Donald Trump somehow. They're basically the same person. Who is the cash me outside girl? I have no idea what you're talking about. First of all, I envy your life to not have to know what she is. She was a 14 year old girl who was on Dr. Phil because she's one of these out of control juvenile delinquent type girls. And she started threatening the audience when they were trying to ask questions. And she was like, well, cash me outside. How about that? And, you know, a little white girl who's, you know, putting on a voice and an inflection. And it's very sad because it's just, you know, it's a girl who's, you know, in trouble and you want her to get better. And the problem is she's become something of a celebrity now because people think that a child acting horribly is adorable, which is why it's hard for me to talk about this without bringing up Donald Trump. Too many corollaries. So at first that was terrible. It was, oh, she's a meme. People are all quoting her and that said, but it was nothing, you know. Now she's on tour. She is doing a tour where she is being put up and being booked places where audiences will pay money to go see her on stage and be mostly yelled at and insulted by a little girl. And a lot of people are upset. And the weirdest thing to me is that a lot of, you know, everyone, every comedian I know, trust me, a contrarian, everyone wants to have the new hot take on something. And I've heard people say things like, hey, hey, you think you're cool because you're attacking this little girl because you think that she shouldn't be on tour? What's wrong with you? Leave her alone. And I'm saying, no, no, that's like saying if I don't want someone to give a gun to a monkey that I'm anti-monkey. We are, this is abuse. It's the same thing with Honey Boo Boo where, except that wasn't about a girl doing something horrible. It was just more about her horrible health habits. This is even worse. This is about someone who's actually a hateful, angry person. And we are making her believe that this is her ticket to her future. And instead of saying, okay, this is behavior we should all be looking at and saying you shouldn't do this, we are as full-throatedly as possible as a society saying, be as horrible a person as you can possibly muster because that's what we are now. That's who we are as a culture now. And that is terrifying. And it's troll culture. How did she end up on Dr. Phil? Her mother brought her on. Her mother, by the way, not exactly a role model of mothers either because it sounds like she's also kind of parlaying this thing too. But she brought her on like, you know, all these shows. This girl was on Dr. Phil because her mother brought her on to say, you know, my daughter's out of control. She's doing bad things. She's too young to be acting this way. I'm scared. And she, you know, she didn't know what to do. And, you know, for many years we've had that show where some guy comes on and says, I'm going to put your military school. I'm going to teach you to be better. And the kid cries. And it's not exactly, you know, the most honorable thing, but at least the spirit is somewhat understandable. This girl is a celebrity now. And now this girl... She's 14, right? Yeah, she's 14. She's 14 years old. And she dropped out of the seventh grade. She's 14 years old. Yeah, she's a little girl. And it's one thing to celebrate, you know, horrible people on a reality show, but now we're doing it with a minor. Someone whose future really is going to be screwed up by the absolute worst kind of negative attention. We are teaching her and pretty much every other kid out there be a monster, be a bad person, and you will be rewarded for it. She has 8.3 million followers on Instagram. I'm getting a printout on her. Yeah, there you go. Get her dossier out. If I do a carefully constructed joke on Instagram, I'm lucky if I get 20 likes. But if I were to flash my vagina... Well, if you flashed your vagina, it would get more than 8 million views. That would be a big deal. People still remember the 90s enough to know that David Feldman being a woman all this time would be a big deal. I was Sharon Stone stunt double in Basic Instinct. I mean, I would love for the news for TMZ to be like, remember the show MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour? Well, one of the guys who was almost on it turns out to be a woman. By the way, I was on MTV Comedy Hour. Oh, you were. That was a random guess. I assumed that was one of the ones you were likely to be on, but I figured you're more of an evening at the improv guy. I used to go on all the time, and back then I was too old for MTV. Back then they were saying to me, we're putting you on as a goof because you're so old, and that was 20 years ago. How is Los Angeles today? Is it hot? Oh, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful mid-80s June day. It's great. You know, I miss LA. All my friends are here. Even though I feel loyal to New York, I still... You can't deny how great it is to be here. Are you going to do stand-up tonight? No, I'm going to do some tomorrow. Where are you going to perform? I think I'm doing the Lexington tomorrow. To some bar. It's a bar in LA that I do often because my friends run the show. I honestly haven't been trying to book that much stand-up just because I, you know, I get a little overwhelmed sometimes with like the work schedule. So I just kind of do my friend's shows and I'm not trying to like do the clubs necessarily. And when is your next roast battle? Well, I should have won in New York before August, but I now have won at the end. On August 29th, I'll be headlining the roast battle at a main event against the great Toby Miroshanu. One of the absolute best battlers in the same. Hey, did you write for Rich Voss's roast Monday night? No. No, no, did you do it? He asked me to and then I forgot about it. Right, I was supposed to help you with that, wasn't I? Then I kind of sent him an email in the middle of the night earlier in the week. I go, oh my God, I forgot to give Rich jokes. And I texted him and emailed him and he goes, it's too late. So we'll be held to that. Too bad because I wanted to tell you that Rich Voss looks like a rat in a Jew costume. And I guess that's just wasted now. Are you still undefeated? Yeah, but I'm only 4-0. But what's Dixon? Dixon's like 7-0, but I don't know. Well, 7-0 at New York Comedy Club, he's lost some at the stands. I don't know what his full record is. So he wouldn't be called undefeated unless they're in the roast battle scene. But he just has more wins at New York Comedy Club, but I don't know if he's still doing them regularly. My resident conservative, Pat Dixon, the most despised guest in the history of a David Feldman show, Pat Dixon, is 7-0. Because hosts don't count. He's undefeated, undefeated. Yeah. I don't mean to disparate you, but put aside your self-righteous indignation and do an assessment of where we're at politically. We lost in Georgia, right? Ossoff lost our guy, Karen Handel won. The Pat Dixon, the great Pat Dixon, undefeated in the roast battles. The Supreme Court has just ruled that Trump's travel ban, parts of it can stay in effect until it goes to the Supreme Court in October. We're losing. Yes. Trump did just tweet that he was happy about the 9-0 decision to uphold part of the travel ban. Not 9-0, 9 in the letter O, which makes me feel less safe than the travel ban. You're afraid that he's going to drop a bomb on ground O? Yes. Yes. I think that is the kind of mistake that should not be okay for a president. It's like if a doctor was about to perform surgery and realized he was only wearing one shoe. You would be upset. You would be worried about that. It's like if you were about to go on trial for murder and your lawyer said, I'm sorry, I'm very upset. I just lost a bunch of money on WrestleMania. You'd be really worried. Howard has tweets. Are you one of his followers? I am a follower of his because I do want to get them the second they come in in case I happen to have something hilarious to say. So I wake up every morning with this litany. It puts me in a bad mood. I have to because you just have to stay up. I mean, this morning today, I wake up and if anyone else in the world was tweeting something like this about a crime they were accused of, it would be the most hilariously guilty thing you've ever. He is acting like the most guilty person I've ever heard. He's now saying that I didn't collude with Russia. Obama colluded with Russia to get me elected. This is something that a person who's just in the deep throes of just madness would say. And he's also saying that he was smart to pretend to have recorded Comey because it kept Comey honest. Which means he just admitted that Comey was telling the truth. He's an idiot. We're coming up on the July 4th weekend when people want to relax, hang out with the people they can tolerate. Do you think Trump fatigue sets in once again for a couple of days where you just need a break from it all and then when you need a break from it all, they come in and start stealing more stuff from us. It's constant vigilance. I respect that about you. You are like still outraged and I'm thinking, can I just get like three days where I don't have to follow the Russian investigation and the travel ban, but you're still fired up, right? Oh, absolutely. I had a conversation with a stranger a few days ago and she was from Egypt. So I was especially disappointed in what she said. She was a very beautiful woman and she just said that, oh, I just think people are so, people need to calm down about Trump and just let him, just let him do what he wants already. And you know, she goes, people make it too big a deal and I said, and I try to be polite and I said, well, I think Trump is like a starving dog. You look away for one second, he's going to eat the baby. Exactly. And I think the only thing keeping him even slightly worried about doing something catastrophic is his desperate need to be liked. And I think that we have an absolute responsibility to not let up. But at the same time, we have also a big responsibility to not exaggerate, to not lie. And that's a problem that everyone has right now on every side. You cannot misrepresent anything. You cannot use strawman arguments because we don't need to. And because people keep assuming that these are lies about him because they can't believe that he could be responsible for such an avalanche of horrible things, but he is. The last thing we need is to misrepresent it. If you see a meme out there, Google it. Do not just assume the amount of money it costs for Milani to stay in Trump Tower. Google it yourself. Really find out because when you say it's more than it was, you just gave that conservative an excuse not to listen. That's what I think is the most important thing. We need to be honest and we need to not let anything go that we wouldn't have let go if another politician had done it when they had a normal record. Like if it's something that George Bush could have gotten in trouble for, we have to attack him for it. We can't just say because you're such a horrible person, you should be allowed to get away with more stuff. Jared Kushner has put in a bid for the new FBI building. Did you know that? I did not know that. Yeah, I mean, it's overwhelming. The FBI is going to build a new building and it's about $2 billion, I think. And Jared Kushner's family has put in a bid to build the building that's supposed to put him in prison. Did you know that? No. I did not know that one. I'm ashamed that I didn't know that. And that is so amazing and it's amazing that that's not surprising. This has always been a cash grab. I mean, it explains why Trump loves Russia so much because he's also treating this country like a kleptocracy. Well, you know what it is. It would be irresponsible for us to just take a break from how bad things are getting because when you do that, you give a pass to his fans. You let them have a nice weekend. You let them feel like this isn't so bad. Life is back to normal. It was all politics. Well, it's not all politics. He's not George Bush. He's not Mitt Romney. He's not Ronald Reagan. He is a mentally ill man-child filled with malice. He is the first president who I truly do not believe is concerned with the future of the country. I didn't think George Bush was a good president. I never thought he was a bad person on this level even close. Right. George W. Bush. George W. Bush. George H.W. Bush was a horrible person but a good president. In an authoritarian regime, the way you take power is by exhausting the opposition. Like you said, we don't have the stamina of a hungry dog. I am right now in preparation for the July 4th week and I took maybe six hours to walk in the park. And I thought, well, the sun is shining. The leaves are on the trees. Life is good. Why am I getting so upset? Do you think Mike Pence, now that he's hired an attorney, do you think it's possible he could end up going to prison because of the Russian scandal? Who's in charge after that? Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan, right? Nobody really knows. They think they know. No, I didn't. The line of succession. The line of succession is very clear. I did a cartoon once. Tell that to Alexander Haig. Well, Al Haig was wrong. Al Haig said the Secretary of State was next and he was 100% wrong and it confused a bunch of people. The Constitution is very clear about this. The Speaker of the House is next. No question. And I do, but I do not think Mike Pence is going to be in trouble. I think that because every single person in that White House, everyone, is more loyal to the office than Trump himself, except for his children. I think that they've been insulating Pence this entire time. I think that everyone who works there in the back of their heads knows that Mike Pence is probably going to be running for president in 2020. Right. Because he's already president as an incumbent. I think that there's no, no real idiot to them. And I think that everyone in that cabinet is basically just, their top priority is protecting Mike Pence from the assassination attempt that is Donald Trump's presidency against him. Metaphorically. I don't want to confuse anyone about what I just meant. Rick Perry testifying, denying to Al Franken that carbon dioxide emissions are the primary cause of global warming. The Attorney General is identifying that he hasn't gotten around to investigating Russian collusion in our elections. Even though he's recused himself from the Comey firing, he's still the Attorney General. He's supposed to order an investigation into possible tampering by the Russians. And he says, I haven't gotten around to it yet. Maybe I'm a cockeyed optimist, but I still believe that we are approaching the greatering of this entire regime. I think that, and I think it's a godsend, it's a blessing that Trump isn't smart enough to pull this off, because if he was, we'd really be in trouble. But I think that they are so deep in BS right now that there is absolutely no, I mean, it's only been a few months. And this is worse than even the people like us thought he would be. I do not think they can maintain this. We need to really get all the people who supported him to go back to where they were before but just accepting the fact that they're just inferior and that they need to not think they know what they're doing. Mike Flynn was what, the National Security Advisor, right? Yeah. For like 24 days. He was being investigated before Trump was even president for possible collusion with the big Russian ambassador who's also a spy, right? Trump knew this. Prince Priebus knew this. Mike Pompeo knew this. He was the head of the CIA. They knew that he was possibly colluding with the Russians and yet for the 24 days that he was our National Security Advisor, General Mike Flynn was sitting in on all the intelligence briefings. That in and of itself is shut this administration down. Well, I have a theory about that and it's not exactly an original theory but I really am starting to think that Trump was instructed to make Michael Flynn his National Security Advisor by someone with blackmail material. By someone who's black, by someone who may be blackmailing him. If I was watching a movie that is what I would predict was about to happen because it's almost too stupid to call it incompetence is naive. I really think this is I think that in Trump's mind he thought I did nothing. I did nothing with Russia but take their advice about one higher. Which, you know, if you watch the Americans you watch spy movies, you know that's the grand that's the grand chess move. That's the checkmate. And I think he's that ignorant about this. I think we're all ignorant as to the venality of Putin. He tampered with our elections. He cracked open the DNC database. But he stopped right there. He didn't find out anything about Paul Ryan. He didn't find out anything about Trump. He just stopped with Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the Bernie campaign and Hillary and Putin said, I'm done. I'm sated. Of course not. You know Jason Chafetz who used to be head of the House Oversight Committee until he stepped down mysteriously and was replaced by this gaudy freak. Why do you think Jason Chafetz stepped down? Well, I think Jason Chafetz stepped down because he ran out of acorns and needed to go stock up again. Why do you think Paul Ryan is towing the line? Because he's a company man. Putin's company? The Republicans, I think that he will die on this particular sword. And I think that Paul Ryan knows that if he places cards right, he will be president. I was involved in a civil lawsuit and one of the questions they asked you in a civil lawsuit. We're talking about your divorce again? No, no, no, I'm just talking about a civil dissolution of a business. Okay? And in a civil lawsuit which is far different than a criminal prosecution, a civil lawsuit. Have you ever been sued? Have you ever been divorced? No. Okay. The way a civil lawsuit transpires is there are two tracks. There is the legal track and then there is the public relations track. There is the track of what are you afraid is going to come out and be revealed about you. That track is extra judicial. It has nothing to do with what the judge is going to see or rule on but it's a track that informs how you behave in court. Do you have anything on you Dave Cyrus? Is there anything for 600 bucks if I hired a private detective which I could do legally I could find some stuff out about you. Is there stuff? Nothing that I could imagine would hurt the career of a comedy writer. Most people most normal human beings and we're not normal. Most normal human beings have stuff that they don't want revealed. This is what I've discovered. What don't you want people to find out about. And I go nothing and they go come on what do you got? I said well first of all if I got something I'm not telling you so do some research on me. There's nothing on me. I've read the National Enquirer sometimes I pay cash for the National Enquirer but most people aren't you and me we're like sick we're so clean because all we do is live for comedy or podcasting. Do you have things that you want to hide? And the answer is no. Most people do including Paul Ryan. There is stuff that every politician has anybody who's in Washington DC has something to hide. And you really think Paul Ryan might be on this list of compromised people? Well I don't want to give Putin supernatural powers but I think anybody who is as rich and powerful as Putin got there because he has a spy agency at his disposal. This was the guy who used to head the KGB. If he found stuff in the DNC why would he stop there? Of course he's going to go he knows about the three branches of government. Why would he stop with Hillary? He hacked Paul Ryan's account. We don't know that Paul Ryan has anything that damning. I just don't think that Paul Ryan's behavior needs to be blackmail. I think it could just be him being incapable of breaking from his pack and thinking that I need to just tow this line and I'll get to be president in a few months. In politics there are three tracks. In civil litigation there are two tracks. There's the track that takes you into court where you follow the rule of law and then there's the second track which is more important that is what is going to be revealed about you and disgrace you in the court of public opinion. What your kids or your wife or mistress are going to think of you. That second track is way more powerful than the first. In politics there are three tracks. There's your political career. There's the track of the crime you commit while in office and then there's the third track, the court of public opinion. What we can find on you that will destroy you in the eyes not only of your voters but your family your wife, your mistress. Paul Ryan looks like a piece of shit dressed up for Halloween to look like Eddie Munster. Yes, we've all that was the first one we all thought of, yeah. It's like a piece of shit decided it wanted to go as Eddie Munster for Halloween. He's obsessed with his looks. He's always working out. There's some dirty dark secret on Paul Ryan. The same way there was a dirty dark secret about Dennis Hastert who was the speaker of the house before John Boehner. And got the job because he was so clean. Well clean in the sense of not having it on him. No, no. He got the job because he was dirty and could be controlled. Dennis Hastert is a child molester. He was the wrestling coach. You didn't even have to say allegedly anymore, right? Right. Dennis Hastert is a child molester. He's paying the kid off. That's why he was made speaker of the house by Tom Delay and the Republicans because I have something on you. I can control you. Right? Wow. I mean, that's certainly it's possible. That is the dark end of things, but it's certainly not implausible. That isn't the dark end of things. That's the way it works. See, Michael, I don't think I feel like they wouldn't do that because that opens them up to ridicule more than anyone else. They would want someone that they thought was clean. I mean, he's representing them. Just because Tom Delay wanted someone he could control. Who's naive now, Kate? Who's naive now, Kate? Do you think the Republicans care about humiliation? That gives them an erection. Look how Trump is being... Trump is constantly being humiliated. Trump is a national, international disgrace. The Koch brothers don't care. The bottom line is going up. They're happy. They're getting more money. They don't care. You cannot embarrass the Republicans. They're shameless. Well, I think you can't embarrass Trump because he's got that kind of mental illness. I think the other Republicans I don't think any of them really want the situation. They just are incapable of standing up for what's right if it's against their side. I don't think Dennis Hastert was helpful to them. He was a useful child molester. Stalin had his useful idiots. Republicans have their useful child molesters. There was an epidemic in the early 2000s of Republican child molesters. Well, there were plenty currently enough conspiracy lunatics think that it's the opposite. They think that there was some sort of liberal conspiracy to bless children, which just as easily could have been just normal Cointel pro because, well, if we're molesting children, I guess what we have to do is start saying they are. Exactly. I know people right now who think that there's some kind of liberal conspiracy. You know, I actually know someone who's also mentally ill who believed in Pizzagate. And I tried very hard to convince him what was going on. And, you know, but that's the problem when someone's schizophrenic. You cannot teach them reason. I want to get to Alex Jones and Pizzagate and Megan Kelly. And I'm not being a contrarian. I actually believe Megan Kelly did a pretty good job on her show with Alex Jones. I'll get to that in a second. But I want to get back to projection. The idea that if I'm a child molester or I'm surrounded by child molesters, the other side must do it too. No. Something very specific to Trump especially, but the Republicans do do it. Do do what? They will say whatever you think, whatever they know you're thinking I am, I'll say it's you. And then we can change the conversation from I did this to, oh, everyone's just throwing this accusation around. Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi are ineffectual and they should be disappeared by the progressives in our community. But I don't think they're perverts. I don't think Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi are deviants when it comes to sex and family. I think they're pretty clean. I don't think you can find anything on Chuck Schumer other than maybe some faulty accounting from Wall Street. Same goes for Pelosi. I'm sure you could the same way you can find some stuff on Bernie and his wife with this college grant faulty accounting. But deviants when it comes to deviants I think every Republican I think every Republican I mean this every Republican who's gotten elected is a deviant. I think they're sexually deviant. They're either into something that's illegal or they can't have normal sex or any sex whatsoever. They're consumed with hatred for women because they're not into women or women aren't into them. So they want to control their bodies out of revenge and that's what the Republican Party has shown itself to be. It's a party of people who lie and lie to themselves. They don't care what the truth is when it comes to the CBO what the facts are. They continue to preach supply side economics. Look at Sam Brown back in Kansas. You have a governor in Kansas who's still preaching supply side economics even though as a test case Kansas has proven that when you cut taxes you increase the deficit and you increase poverty but Sam Brown back what a great name. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Well they decided a long time ago that facts don't help them so they're just going to poison the well of information until facts don't really exist in an objective way. That's something that they've accelerated now. I just want to make one point about they do have a tendency, especially Trump to just accuse everyone else of whatever you think they're doing to the point that I'm sort of predicting right now at some point Trump is going to randomly say something like I heard Barack Obama beat his wife and then everyone's going to need to check on Melania. That's how bad he is at this. Oh so once Trump says that Barack Obama beat Michelle that means Trump is actually beating Melania. Yes I'm saying that's how it's going to work and pay very close attention to what he randomly says Barack Obama did because it means he did it. Well I think you're right and I think that Trump is going to say Barack Obama gave Michelle two black eyes. She's actually white but to cover up the two black eyes they had to change her pigment. Well I wish that was a ridiculous thing for him to say but it isn't really. So pretty reasonable. So this is the new meme coming out of the Trump mind. Michelle is actually white but they've changed her skin color to cover up the two black eyes. If he said that it would be a half of a day news story. You've invigorated me. A lot of people are going to be listening to this show sitting on the tarmac flying somewhere but sitting on the tarmac they can't take off because why? Because of climate change. Because of climate change. Oh sure. Flying is turning into a nightmare. Arizona they had a delay in one day something like 60 flights because it was just too hot to take off. So a lot of people are going to be sitting on the tarmac trying to get somewhere this July 4th weekend and they're not going to be able to because of climate change and people think they're going to relax I'm hoping to relax. I'm trying to get everything off my desk and go visit my sister in the country for July 4th and I have Trump fatigue and I am not entitled to Trump fatigue and when I get off the phone with you I'm going to read off a list of outrages so people remain pissed off during their July 4th. Can't let go. If we let go the dingo will eat the baby. What about let go let go and let God what about that? I mean I'm not exactly like an ardent atheist but the last six months hasn't helped I think the fact is we've seen people who believe in God most wanted and we need to accept that it is the worst thing for us now especially because it's impossible to argue that there's anything about Trump that makes sense for a godly person to like so in that sense at least we get for the rest of our lives to get to say you don't get to talk about character ever again you don't get to talk about character ever again because you chose the person with the least character in the history of American politics and why do the Republicans cling to religion? Authoritarianism, the same reason they like Trump it's just two different sides of what makes people join a cult that's interesting and Donald Trump's popularity is cultism it's authoritarianism and you also have to let go and let God you have to believe in a higher power let them take care of everything for you you have to trust them and as soon as you stop, and I said this to someone actually during the same conversation with the woman who said we should just let him do it, someone else said hey you know you gotta let, he said actually God will take care of it and I said that is the most dangerous thing you could possibly say because the second you stop believing that we are a rock in space absolutely capable of killing ourselves all forever you are making a horrible decision because we have to accept we have completely trust in our power to murder us all if we don't stay vigilant if we don't have the intelligence if we start acting like everything is going to be taken care of by God and you know we've done that slowly with climate change but we can do it very quickly with Trump if we act like it's impossible that one egomaniac might just kill us all so as I go into the country and I look at trees and I see nature I cannot trust God to protect me I have to protect God I have to protect God and nature from Donald Trump and Rex Tillerson I think there might be a God I think there might be a God and if there is a God he absolutely he needs for us to do that if God exists he is certainly not hands on unless he's a priest but yeah if one thing we know for sure is that God doesn't jump in to take care of catastrophes that's our job, he gave us the tools to do it how about this, God is a baby God is the baby Jesus and we have to protect the baby Jesus how about that? I'm fine with that, hey look Jews never seem to have anything bad to say about Jesus our problems are always with Christianity as a power structure I've never heard Jews I mean nobody, Jesus never said anything that is that big a deal in terms of being offensive, Jesus said good things he was a good guy, whoever he was the people who worshiped him with a problem and that's why they never seem to quote Jesus either the real Republicans, they're big Old Testament fans they want to talk about fire and brimstone and obedience they talked about Jesus, they'd have to admit that they should be voting for Bernie Sanders you've revved me up my friend, you got me angry I'm going to go visit my sister I'm going to go see the trees but I'm not going to think that God will save us it's my responsibility to save God we could just as easily be living in a world where we all worship Zeus it's not easily happened and if that were the case we'd have people doing the exact same thing and saying there's lightning today so that means everything's fine no, we're on a rock in space we are flying through on a big circle on a big circular rock and if we screw up it's over now you go to your shrink it's none of my business if you see a shrink not since high school haven't since high school well anyway I am a shrink I'm a shrink to several people in my life I am an unlicensed psychiatrist I assure you you should open up a practice where you tell people not to relax that they're wrong the people in their lives are wrong and you need to lash out and expect things from people do the complete opposite of a shrink the problem with our culture is you can pay a shrink to tell you everything that benefits you to do things and to believe things that are in your own benefit not the culture's benefit for the most part you need to open up a chain of psychiatric hospitals where you scream at people and tell them that personal responsibility means accepting blame for all your actions and you need to lash out at other people and not get along don't accept things yes look I think letting God let go and let God was a great idea before nuclear weapons it was a great idea before human beings had the capacity to destroy the Earth you're writing the big new Pete Holmes movie with Judd Apatow and Will Ferrell and Adam McKay and it's going to be on HBO literally none of those people but go on and Judd Apatow and here's what I want you to do I want you to put this into practice I want you to go into your next writing meeting and not given not be part of the fabric I want you to clench your fist grab your feet and challenge them and be difficult to work with can you do that for me oh David I am light years ahead of you you just described every day you just described my normal MO believe me I am you don't do that no I mean if I have to believe me there have been plenty of times when I've offended people it's happening at other jobs where I just say hey this is wrong you know if you don't agree with me okay but I want it on the record oh yeah believe me I mean I'm talking for roasts you know so you know as have you I mean a lot of people have very weird ideas about what's okay in a roast and those ideas change and you know I'm someone who says you know you can do a good roast without hitting certain kinds of topics you know and that's something a lot of people don't believe in they think it's any kind of joke works so no I enjoy since I was a little kid I've had I've gotten too much enjoyment out of being the one person to stand and say no I mean I've had I've had entire schools turn on me I've had rooms full of people just hate me all at once and I'm ashamed to say I kind of liked it you're conservative then maybe you're conservative you're standing a thwart history and saying stop you're a conservative up until high school I was interesting up until you know I learned stuff I used to be just a regular patriotic American and then I started reading Howard Zinn and I had that same moment that every teenager has Dave Cyrus you'll come back when you back in when you back in New York I'll be back in July July July every Christian who ever met you is thinking that privately to themselves he's like thank you Dave thank you David I'll talk to you soon you're listening to highlights from The David Feldman Show heard nationwide on Pacifica Radio or as a podcast on iTunes, Stitcher and now YouTube please subscribe to this channel for more information go to davidfeldmanshow.com thank you for listening to Sad Pathetic Humps