 From the man that gave us Robocop, Total Recall and Starship Troopers comes his greatest sci-fi film to date. Showgirls. I mean, I think it's sci-fi. It almost has to be. Nobody in the real world acts like the people do in this film. They have to be aliens. Aliens who are about to be roasted into oblivion. Let's dance. The Patreon producer on this video is Matt Squarrow. He checked out the roast list, combed through it meticulously and laser focused in on showgirls. You too can pick out a movie for me to roast by signing up as a Mithral member on Patreon or right here on YouTube via the join button. We start with a shot of our main protagonist back. Hopefully we finish there too. The channel's called Adam Does Movies. FYI, this camera shot reminds me of the movie The Wrestler. 80% of the movie is filmed this way. I assume Showgirls was the inspiration for that picture. I think it inspired a lot of movies going forward. Elizabeth Berkeley's character is looking to hitch a ride to Las Vegas. With those legs on that body, good luck getting a person to pull over. Oh, someone already did. She seems a little bit put out by this guy who's helping her out. He says, hey, you can move a little closer. That triggers her to instantly pull out a knife and threaten to stab him. It was a bad idea. I didn't even know you could aggressively change a radio station. Elizabeth found a way to do it. She also says, I don't like cars, fuck. I thought all walks of life appreciated the man. Asinine, complete insanity. They must be Chris Gaines fans. Truck driver introduces himself. I'm Jeff. And she responds in kind. No me. She's gonna be a dancer. They make it to the casino. Jeff, out of the goodness of his heart, gives her $10 to play the slots while he tries to find work for her. What a gentleman. What an absolute prince. And she wins a bunch of money that she starts tossing up in the air like she's four years old and it spills all over the floor and I'm now completely triggered by this film. Why would you do that? Now you have to pick up that stuff off the gross floor. Come on. In hindsight, she might as well have tossed it right into the trash because a few minutes later, she's already lost that money. And much like her aggression with the man and the radio station earlier, she starts taking out her anger on the slot machine, attacking it. She seems like a real catch. It's at this point it dawns on her that Jeff is nowhere to be found. She runs out into the parking lot and yep, sure enough, she was hoodwinked. He took her stuff, busted out of dodge. And so what does she do? Well, of course, starts attacking a vehicle of some complete stranger as one does. The owners in the parking lot sees this happening, rushes over to Nomi who starts taking shots at her. She's throwing hands. Those keeping score, Nomi has already attacked a slot machine, a stranger in the parking lot, pulled a knife on a person and says she doesn't like Garth Brooks. We're six minutes into the movie. And I can't speak for everyone else, but personally, I've never been more turned on in my entire life. Scratch that. Now I've never been more turned on in my entire life. During her fit of rage, Jesse Spano runs out into the middle of oncoming traffic, but thankfully is saved by the Lisa Turtle. Budget Lisa Turtle. It's not the same actress. Subscribe for save of the bell references. A few minutes AC Slater, we're having a nice little meal. Listen, it's not every day you walk into a parking lot, see someone smashing up your car, throwing fists at you and then projectile vomiting all over the floor. You have to take advantage of that friendship. You have to make peace with that person. So Molly buys her a nice meal. She gets her soda fries in a burger to go with that shake. Everything Nomi does is that 100. Look at her put this straw into the cup. Look at her throw her fries around. I just got here. She is so mad. Look at her pour an entire bottle of ketchup on her fries. Absolutely ruining them. Molly, not knowing this woman at all, asks her a few basic questions. Like, what's your name? Where are you from? Et cetera. This is Nomi's response. Different places. Entire saucer fries wrecked. All over the ground. Molly run. You owe this woman nothing. She is a complete shit show. Instead she does the opposite. She offers the unhinged lunatic to stay with her for a while. What? What? Molly, are you out of your fucking mind right now? We jump ahead six full weeks and we see the two seem to be getting along pretty well together. Molly's clearly comfortable changing in front of her so that's nice for us. You wanna come with me? Yes. I lost track of what was happening for a second. Let's keep moving. Nomi gets invited to tag along with Molly to her job where she works with a bunch of show girls including the very famous, very smoking hot. Crystal Connors, baby. Nomi watches in amazement as these people perform the gayest dance since Cats. Gina Gershawne and the rest of the cast get naked and prance around the stage for my amusement. Nomi and I start touching ourselves. After the show, Molly and Nomi get to go meet Crystal. She needs her chandelier bra adjusted or some shit. It doesn't matter. They exchange hellos, a few pleasantries. Nomi insults her and storms out of the room which is very unbranded. She's just so lovable. Once again, she throws herself at Molly's car. She really hates that car. And I know what would cheer her up. I think it's obvious to everyone. She needs to dance. And dance, she does. Dance, she, oh. I don't know what she's doing, but it's not dancing. Ladies and gentlemen, what we're witnessing right now is less of a dance and more of an exorcism. It looks like her soul is violently trying to escape her body. These are the kind of spasms you see in movies after a doctor tries to revive a dead person with shock paddles. More perplexing, some dude likes what he sees. Maybe he's blind? Regardless of the excuse, he goes over and compliments her in which she returns the nice gesture by kneeing him in the dick. This leads to an all out brawl on the dance floor. Nomi's proud of what happened until she's arrested, presumably for being a terrible dancer. She's then bailed out by that very same guy who is dick she destroyed. He offers to teach her to dance. She offers to kill him. It's a fair exchange. Yeah, well shit happens, you know? Although she offers to kill everyone, so I guess it's not fair at all. He doesn't owe her anything. We're finally at the strip club. Mama June is putting on a show while Robert Dobby's character is throwing down the ground rules for a new member. Crystal and her posse roll in. What is this walk that Gershine is doing? Why is everything in this movie so odd? This is how I walk. Around the 27 minute mark, yep, that's a coach tug nut sighting from even Stevens. Crystal and her man, Zach, are smitten by Nomi and pay $500 for a private dance. Glenn Plummer's character tries to get a free showing by peeking his head through that tasteful and elegant beaded doorway. Nice try, Purve, we see you. Nomi just made some easy cash. So you know what that means. Shopping spree. On the way out, her friend Molly fangirls over an artist coming to town. I can't wait to see where that subplot goes. Back at the Cheetah topless club, Nomi gets the news of a lifetime. She has the opportunity to audition for the greatest show in Vegas, Goddess. Starring Crystal Connors. Audition time, and I'm not sure how much of this I can actually show on the internet. It's too hot. But if I could paint you a picture of what's happening here, imagine taking six live cats, throwing them into an active washing machine, and that pretty much encapsulates the dance routine going on. The audition didn't go great, but that might've been the plan all along as Crystal set her up for this, just a humiliator. The world of showgirls is a tough one, Nomi. Did you enjoy that out there? Yeah, darling, I think I did. Earlier I said this movie probably inspired the wrestler, but now that I think about it, it's closer to Black Swan. Really, Darren Aronofsky's entire filmography has showgirls to thank. Now at James Place, Nomi learns how to dance somehow worse than before, which seems humanly impossible. He tries to have sex with her, but she claims she's having her period. I think we've all heard that before. It's a likely excuse, and he's not buying it. He calls her bluff, and she says, why don't you go ahead and check under the hood then if you don't believe me? He does. Pops the hand in, what comes out on the other side is in a pretty picture, and now it's the only way I can achieve climax. Let's just hope for everyone's sake that in the future he doesn't try to get with a woman who claims she has diarrhea. That could be a messy experience for all parties. Fast forward, and somehow she was actually picked to be in goddess. This sends her over the moon, she quits the cheetah club, and goes back to James to tell him the good news. The joy is short-lived. He ruins her day by revealing that he's already sleeping with one of her coworkers. And to think, all of this could have been avoided had she just pushed through the whole period thing. Nomi tours the hotel where she's gonna be dancing at. This leads to the best training montage of the film. She's on the floor, dry-humping the air as people do, and the choreographer comes over to her and just starts yelling into her face. Thrust it! Thrust it! Thrust it! Thrust it, you piece of shit! I'm a little confused now because there's been zero passage of time. This all took place in the same afternoon, but it's been revealed that she's going to be going on tonight to do the performance in goddess. How? How could she have possibly been up to speed on an entire dance routine, let alone get her balance and her form correctly? I don't know about you, but I know me, and she's up for the challenge. Very weird pun, but I think I made it work. And guess what, fam? She knocked it out of the fucking park. We did it! And there's our hero shot. Let's punch in for a nice Kodak smile, fade this puppy to black. Nomi's a star, the movie's over, and no, we still have an hour to go. This nightmare lasts two hours and 11 minutes. Crystal takes Nomi out for a nice lunch to bury the hatchet. It's a bit tense at first, but thankfully the girls find some common ground. Doggy chow. And I think it's common ground a lot of us can relate to, because it turns out both these ladies are pretty fond of eating dog food. Puppy Chow being the preferred brand for them. I've had dog food. They then longingly stare into each other's eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time. All that dog food eating talk really got them all spiced up. Miss Connors tries to use some of that trademark Riz she's got, but Crystal isn't putting out that easy. After some dirty dancing, complete with nipple rubs, I return to this film. It turns out the ladies also had a similar idea as me. Crystal, out of the goodness of her snatch, gets a sweetheart deal for Nomi. All she has to do is go to a trade show for a day, look good, smile, take some photos, and an easy grand is waiting for her on the other side. Crystal did leave out some crucial information, such as the fact that Nomi's gonna be treated like an escort during this nice little weekend getaway. Nomi throws one of her classic trademark fits, busts in during a makeout sesh between Crystal and Zack, tells him the news. And Zack, being a good man, stands up for Nomi, calls up the sleazebag, tells him to back off and stop doing this to his dancers. He then immediately calls her back and says, no, yeah, we're good, dude. Everything's cool, keep doing what you're doing. Oh, Nomi, you gullible idiot. This town is gonna eat you up and spit you out. Side note, Zack must go through a new phone every week because he hangs up on this thing like he has a vendetta against it. Just, I know, I know. Yeah, okay, I'll talk to you later. Okay. Uh-huh, okay, that sounds great. Bye, Zack wins. Phonality. We are spinning now, everyone is spinning now. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. One of the girls gets the Tanya Harding treatment, breaks her leg, and she's out for a month. Don't talk shit about your coworker. You're gonna wind up in a body bag. We have a family reunion as Al and Mama Cass stop by to give Nomi their best. Zack offers to give her a ride in his car and in his sheets. And unfortunately, once again, I can't show much of this scene. It is too hot for everything. Essentially, what takes place here is Elizabeth Berkeley has what can only be described as a full body convulsion in the water as she is making love, if you won't even call it that, with Zachary. They're in the water and he is thrusting the living hell out of her as she's laying back doing a crappie flop. The poor girl looks like she's being waterboarded. It's really quite a spectacle. I can't imagine being on set that day. We are one and a half hours into this movie and I've been rock hard the entire time. Nomi must have made quite the splash with Zack. As the next day, she's offered the role of a lifetime as understudy for Crystal. That's right, our girl Nomi is no longer a call girl, no longer a stripper, no longer a supporting dancer. She's now a strong show girl lead. And quite frankly, it's about time. Unfortunately, the goddess Giveth and the goddess Taketh away. Nomi lost the position of lead understudy the very next day because Crystal put her foot down. Naturally, our lead protagonist took this all in stride, learned a lesson or two from it, vowed to be a better person, treat strangers with a little bit more respect, not instantly jump to knife when you don't get what you want, but hold on to your friends, keep them. No, actually what happens is she pushes Crystal down the fucking stairs, sends her into the hospital so she can now be the star. Connors is carted out to the ambulance. Man, I really hope this movie ends soon and just like that, the Stardust Hotel has its new star. Like a slutty Phoenix rising from the ashes, our Nomi is born anew. She has it all. Molly also gets to treat herself that night because Andrew Carver is gonna be at an event Nomi's going to. She gets to meet her idol. Not a great first impression as Andrew instantly propositions Nomi. Nomi fires back with a proposition marked fuck you. Subscribe for methods of mayhem references. Budget Chad Kroger and his crew take Molly up to their private penthouse and let's just say the night doesn't go well. Let's just say, I don't think Molly's gonna be picking up any more of his albums in the future. Nomi is furious when she finds out the cops aren't involved in what took place. She attempts to call the cops from the hospital but Zack stops her and reveals that he knows about her dirty little secret past. Her real name, Pauly. She's been running from the law her whole life. It appears she's stuck between a cock and a hard place. Zack's got Pauly right in his pocket. Nomi decides it's time to take matters into her own hands and no, for once I'm not talking about several penises. And viciously Patrick Swayze roundhouse kicks him like 35 times. She leaves in the elevator and the doors closed revealing two peas. The two peas of course referring to Pauly Pocket. I don't know why I keep trying to make this joke work. She sends her love to Molly, makes out with crystal quickly, takes her dumb ass hat and now she's back where she started. Fleeing Vegas and conveniently getting picked up by that same asshole from the beginning, she became a star. But what did it cost her? Everything. I like that she tried to kind of make amends before she left. I also like that she straight up abandoned her friend, Molly, didn't tell her she was leaving. You know, they were living together. They probably had bills they shared. You know, mortgage to pay, all that stuff. What's Molly to do now? She kind of left her high and dry, which of course is on brand for this character. Oh my goddess, we made it to the credits. It is over folks. Roast aside, there are actual people that like this film. They call it a dark comedy. Others say it presents itself exactly how it's supposed to be treated as a drama thriller. It's noted as a drama thriller on IMDb and other outlets, so who's right here? Honest to goddess, I don't care. This movie blows ass any way you look at it. If it's a parody, it's failing to be very funny. If it's a thriller, it's far too stupid to be taken seriously. Nothing in this movie worked for me, except for maybe the pool Tourette's, because that reminded me of Marv getting electrocuted and home alone, and that's fun. Once more, a special thank you to Matt for producing this episode, picking this absolute gem of a film and for supporting this channel, this one man operation. Now, something you could do if you want to help is like this video, share it around social networks, subscribe if you haven't, because I post tons of roasts, movie rants, live reaction videos, all sorts of stuff every single week on the channel. I would love to have more eyeballs on it. If you've been here for a while and occasionally you don't see things in your feed for me, you probably haven't hit that notification bell. You have to hit the dumb notification bell for these to show up. And after you do, you're gonna start seeing these videos more often. You'll be so overjoyed. You'll start proclaiming, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so scared that I'm gonna miss more Adam Does Movies videos if I don't hit the bell. Again, subscribe for save by the bell references. Preppy.