 Johnson Johnson Johnson Johnson Johnson Johnson Johnson has kids good Gentlemen you've been brought here today to help create the most prodigious Pepsi halftime show this world has ever seen Johnson. What have we got so far? all right a Floating animatronic cowboy hat It's being suspended in thin air by helium-filled condoms And it's soaring over the stadium Then Miley Cyrus gets birthed out of the cowboy hats anus into a technicolor hellfire of lasers Your idea for the Pepsi halftime show is Miley Cyrus getting shit out of a cowboy hats anus Yes Let's think of our sponsors. Oh The hats anus can be in the shape of a Pepsi logo. I love it. What else we got? The hat flies around shitting coffins everywhere Oh, oh, and the coffins open up and then we have holograms of John Lennon and Soulja boy And then they do a mash-up of imagine and crank that is Soulja boy dead Soulja boy is not dead But our research indicates that holograms are really in right now and we've purchased the rights to his hologram for the next five years Hmm. Oh the stage transforms into a pirate ship where water can't pepsi cannons Pepsi cannons will shoot out colliders got fluid or needs to interject. I Feel obligated to ask are a majority of the people viewing this gonna think this is the most Intellectually devoid spectacle they've ever seen What are people going to actively become more stupid by watching okay, let's keep this rolling People can you just fire off ideas as they come to you spit them off rapid fire? Let's go clear volcanoes Dane cooks in America the beautiful leg dildos like the fever a discussion about the hypocritical stance on domestic violence Someone gets their gallbladder removed cancel Kevin James. They call Bill Simmons rotisserie at the stake like a chicken Bubble wrap kittens Pepsi themed pornography concessions to traumatic brain injuries sustained by players Wait what I said Pepsi themed point. No, no, no you Players aren't given stop. You lost me at players Get out Go What about a giant sex robot that a jacqueline solution the gins? No, it's too late Did anybody get that? Jins got it. Nice