 Hit the whistle once. That always gets you in a good spot. Ah, a little too much. My name is Jimmy, his name is Jake, and this is The Weekly Dumb. Jake hunted lobsters last week. I was asked to kill a fly by my wife, and I did. We both captured the beast. Jim, what a week it was. Hudson Valley Renegades rolled out for us. We both threw out first pitches. Do it again. Three, two, one. Still sore. Still very sore. Still sore. We had a good time. Thank you guys. But I'm kind of over the studio. It's August now. August, I'm sick of being less frames per second than you. So we're out. We're out of the studio. Grab your belongings. Weekly Dumb in this studio is no more. Finding a new home. We're finding a new home. Yeah, I need a hand, obviously. Pipe? Yeah, bring the pipe. Oh, boy. Drop everything. Let's do it right here. This is the new Weekly Dumb set up. Welcome to The Weekly Thumb. Jake, can you tell us a little bit about the sports? It's just too comfy. Let's get out of here. Let's fall asleep. Let's get out of here. Oh, this is wildly uncomfortable. I think we got to ditch the whole room. Let's get out of this place. If it's the last thing I ever do. Because our things never... This seems just right. This'll do. Wow. Jake, now can you tell us about the sports? James, we built this city and this company on rock and roll and baseball. And we haven't even talked trade deadline yet. Crazy tread deadline. Best tread deadline in baseball history. And we're still talking about it. And a lot of the big names did wilt for the new teams. The Cubs. All the Cubs had home runs. What did Trevor Plush Tweet say? It said, mercenary baseball, so hot in the streets. So the Dodgers did well. Our Yanks did well, Jimmy. People are talking. And my Rockies did nothing to escape their own ineptitude. If anyone's unaware, if you don't follow, the Rockies made a trade that got a lot of backlash last off season. So the GM, interim GM said, we don't want to get a lot of backlash again and make a bad trade. So they just didn't trade him. He's a free agent at the end of the season. So they're going to get nothing in return. They're going to get like a draft pick in return. So I'm glad that they just escaped embarrassment. Good job by the Rockies. Bottom nine, they were down two runs and they said, you know, instead of us trying to come back and rally. Last time we tried to come back, we'd lost. It was embarrassing. We're just forfeit. You guys win. We're just forfeit. You've won. Good job, Rockies. Good job baseball, hot in the streets last week. Baseball's hot in the streets. Rockies are bad. Jimmy, can we talk about this almost a breakdown everyone's talking about? One of the oddest almost a breakdown as you'll see. Wait. Oh, every morning I drink my coffee. Then I go take a shit. And then I read the morning brew while I'm pooping. Monkeys. Monkeys everywhere. What country is this in? I don't know. This video. Thailand. This video of these monkeys just fighting each other in the middle of the streets in Thailand. Traffic has to stop. People have to divert themselves. And according to the text on the screen that I'm choosing to believe wholeheartedly, it was three different monkey groups that had beef. Usually they fight over food. This wasn't over food. And I mean, this is straight out of a movie. The Capulet and the monkey goose. Don't ever send me to this part of the country or world. OK. But there was no monkey just hanging around on the street afterwards. They had to go. What did you just say? They had to go. Oh, OK. I didn't hear it. Sounded like da go. They had to go. I don't know, man. I feel like I'm being bad. I feel like I'm doing a bad job today. Zach edits this whole thing. Let's get out of the monkey news and go back to more sports. More sports, Jim. We have follow up story. We love follow up stories. The audience loves a good follow up. Call back. We're going back to the Cleveland Indians. We mentioned there was a roller derby team that they didn't care. Guess what, Jim? They do care. They're filing a trademark application, which yeah, I mean, they're right on time. But MLB filed their application on the July 23rd. All right. The roller derby filed on July 27th. So I have a feeling they're not going to win and they're not going to. They're going to get some money, but not a lot. A lawyer approached them and said, well, you could get a little bit of money. I wonder how much they can actually get because if you're the Guardi, if you're the Guardi, if you're the baseball team. Okay. You've put in a lot of time to do this and their lawyer said this won't be a problem and now it's a fake problem. But is it a real problem? So I don't know, throw him some coin. Let them do roller derby at the stadium. Bulliam making change their name to the Indians. Jim, can you tell us about the not sports? And we actually got us treat for the people today. Yeah, there's so many good not sports stories that we're asking you. What would you like? We'll just do real quick, all three of them. First one is that this dude in Louisiana created a trailer park for swingers. Their logo is bring your house and share your spouse. I'm shocked this doesn't exist already. Well, it does. It's every trailer park. They've just decided to make a banner, which is a big step for us in the swinger community. Memorial Week in 2022 is the grand opening. That's huge. Why is it so far away? What are they setting up? We got a plan. What are they prepping for? Sex. Five profane parrots separated the British zoo after encouraging each other to curse out guests. Fuck off. See, I think a lot of public are going to like this. I don't like it. I don't like birds. Birds are assholes. That's just more proof. And I also think there's just a trainer out there that like taught them how to do that. And now the birds are getting in trouble when like, you know, if my dog constantly shits on your feet, it seems in the end like I taught my dog to shit on your feet. But don't get, don't yell at my dog. He's just doing what he was trying to do. I think that's a direct correlation. But I like it. Yeah, no, there's definitely someone that works at the zoo. Jim, there's one last one that we didn't know if the people would like or not. You'll get there. Florida man washes the shore after trying to walk to New York in a bubble device. The bubble device is hilarious. And he had supplies for a while and he was trying to walk north to New York from Florida, but he ended up going 30 miles south. And then he just walked to shore, came out of the device and he said everyone on the beach was laughing at him and he said, they're laughing. They're taking pictures of me. I know what I'm doing. I'm not dumb. You might not be dumb, man, but you're way too bored for your own good. Whenever you got to hit him with a I am not dumb. That's a tough sign. I do like that. Weekly Dom. This is an impressive makeshift go wagon. How many times has this guy been divorced? Three times. Yes. So you guys tell us. We didn't know if you'd like the bubble walking story or if you'd like the parrots talking ship or if you'd like the trailer park swinger. So leave that in the comments. Sex, dumb humans or birds like the first three people that leave it and just like those and will then will base the show on that forever. Yes. That brings us to the employee of the week. It's the employee of the week. It's the employee and the week. It's the weakest employee at the company. It's a person that's not strong. Who's getting it? Are you in on this? I don't have it. Who is it? We've got Commissioner Prizman. Oh, wow. We've kind of been pulling him through the ringer rate lately. We've given him almost sun poisoning twice. Yep. So that's good. And back alley bats has been killing it. So yeah. Go check out back alley bats. Commissioner Prizman. He didn't lose track of account. He umped a really good game while we were hunting Ellie. Rarely see the umpire commissioner. That's a risky position. Well, I don't think he's commissioner of the Homer draft. I don't think he's commissioner of back alley bats. He's umpire. Yeah, that's true. The umpire editor. But congrats to Tom. He did get really far. Excited to see him. Employee of the month of July. Congrats, Zach, for the month of July. That was the Weekly Dumb! Support for this show was brought to you by The Morning Brew. Morning Brew is great because it's kind of like The Weekly Dumb, but every day and not dumb. It's totally free. A daily newspaper delivered Monday through Sunday gets you up to speed on business, finance, and tech in just five minutes. Traditional news is dry, dense, like Jake and boring, not like Jake. You're not boring. Morning Brew is witty, like Jake, relevant, like Jake. Informative, not like Jake. You don't want relevant? I don't think so. So you'll take... Kind of dated. You'll take dense and witty? Yes. Okay. I'm emphasis. Morning Brew is completely free, so there's no reason not to sign up if you're interested in business, finance, or tech. Completely free. Takes less than 15 seconds to subscribe. Click the link in the description to subscribe to Morning Brew today. Play this on loop. Good ASMR. You want to play that turning sound? Yeah. On loop. Turn it up for one more paper rip. I think we got the paper rip. Alexa. Play talking baseball. People always say that works. They always say that Alexa does stuff.