 Book 2, Chapter 12 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org, reading by Lars Rolander. Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney, Chapter 12, Two Doctors A council was now held upon what course must next be taken. Both Therjub and Dutinia were too much fatigued to walk any further. Yet it was concluded that the garden chair, by some mistake, was gone straight to the cottage. Edgar therefore proposed running thither to bring it round for them, while Dr. Orkborn should go forward for Miss Marglant and Indiana and conduct them by the high road to the same place, where the whole party might at length reassemble. Sir Hugo proved the plan, and he set off instantly. But not so, Dr. Orkborn. He thought himself disgraced by being sent from one post to another, and though Dutinia was nothing to him, in competition with his tablets and his work, his own instructions had so raised her in his mind, that he thought her the only female worthy a moment of his time. Indiana he looked upon with ineffable contempt. The incapacity she had shown during the short time he was under his pupillage had convinced him of the futility of her whole sex, from which he held Dutinia to be a partial exception. And Miss Marglant, who never spoke to him but in a voice of haughty superiority, and whom he never answered, but with an air of solemn superciliousness, was his rooted aversion. He could not prove being employed in the service of either. He stood there for motionless till Sir Hugo repeated the proposition. Not caring to def-supply him, he then, without speaking, slowly and unwillingly moved forwards. I see, said the Baronet, softened rather than offended. He does not much like to leave his little scholar, which is but natural, though I took it rather unkind as letting the poor thing run against the very horns of the bull, as one may say, if it had not been for a mere accidental passenger. However, one must always make allowance for a man that takes much to his studies, those things generally turning the head pretty much into a narrow compass. He then called after him and said if the walk would tire him, he would wait till they came themselves, which no doubt they would soon do, as Lionel was gone for them. Dr. Orkborn gladly stopped, but Dr. Marchmont, seeing little likelihood of a general meeting without some trouble, offered to take the commission upon himself, with a politeness that seemed to shoo it to be a wish of his own. Sir Hugo accepted his kindness with thanks, and Dr. Orkborn, though secretly disconcerted by such superior alacrity, in so learned a man, was well content to reinstate himself by the side of his pupil. Sir Hugo saw the eyes of Bellamy constantly turned towards Eugenia, thought his presence highly dangerous, and with much tribulation said, As I find, sir, we may all have to stay here. I don't know how long. I hope you won't be affronted. After my best thanks for your keeping my knees from the bull, if I don't make any particular point of begging the favor of you to stay much longer with us. Bellamy extremely chagrined, cast an appealing look at Eugenia, and expressing his regret that his services were inadmissible, made his retreat with undisguised reluctance. Eugenia persuaded she owed him a serious obligation for his care, as well as for his partiality, felt that the sincerest concern at his apparent distress, and contributed far more than she intended to its removal, by the gentle countenance with which she received his sorrowful glance. Bellamy hastily overtaking Dr. Marchmont darted on before him in search of Miss Marglant and Indiana, who, far from advancing, were pacing their way back to the churchyard. Lionel had joined them, and the incensed Miss Marglant had encouraged the glad attendance of the Uxonian as a protection to herself. The sight of Bellamy by no means tended to disperse the storm. She resented his discerting her while she was in danger, and desired to see no more of him. But when he had respectfully suffered her wrath to vent itself, he made apologies with an obsequiousness so rare to her, and a difference so strikingly contrasted with a daring ridicule of Lionel that she did not long oppose the potent charm of adulation—a charm which, however, it may be sweetened by novelty, seldom loses its effect by any familiarity. During these contests Indiana was left folly to young Melmont, and the temptation was too strong for his impassioned feelings to withstand. O fairest, he cried, fairest and most beautiful of all created beings, can I resist, know, this one, one effusion, the first and the last? The sensibility of your mind will plead for me. I read it in those heavenly eyes. They emit mercy in their beauty. They are as radiant with goodness as with loveliness. Alas! I trespass! I blush and dare not hope your forgiveness. He stopped terrified at his own presumption, but the looks of Indiana were never more beautiful and nevertheless formidable. A milder doom therefore seemed suddenly to burst upon his view. Related and enraptured he vehemently exclaimed, O were my lot not irrevocably miserable, were the smallest ray of light to beam upon my despondence. Indiana still spoke not a word, but she withdrew not her smiles, and the enraptured student lifted into the highest bliss by the permission, even of a doubt, walked on, transported by her side, too happy in suspense to wish an explanation. In this manner they proceeded till they were joined by Dr. Marchmont. The task he had attempted was beyond his power or performance. Miss Margeline was inexorable. She declared nothing should induce her to go a step towards the field inhabited by the bull, and every assurance of safety the doctor could urge was ineffectual. He next assailed Indiana, but her first terror, soothed by the compassion and admiration of Melmont, was now revived, and she protested almost with tears that a go within a hundred yards of that dreadful meadow would make her undoubtedly faint away. The tender commissuration of Melmont confirmed her apprehensions, and she soon looked upon Dr. Marchmont as a barbarian for making the proposal. The doctor then commended them to the care of Lionel, and returned with his repulse to Sir U. The baronet incapable of being angry with anyone he conceived to be frightened, said they should be pressed no more, for he would give up going to the cottage and put his best foot forward to walk on to them himself, adding he was so overjoyed to have got rid of that young spark that he had no fear that he and poor Judenia too should both do as well as they could. They proceeded very slowly, the baronet leaning upon Dr. Marchmont, and Judenia upon Dr. Orkborn, who watchful with no small alarm of the behavior of the only man he had yet seen with any internal respect since he left the university, sacrificed completely his notes and his tablets to emulate his attentions. When they approached the churchyard, in which Miss Maragland and her party had halted, Sir Ube perceived Bellamy. He stopped short, calling out with extreme chagrin, Lord, help us! What a thing it is to rejoice which one never knows the right season to do on the score of meeting with disappointments! Then, after a little meditation, there is but one thing, he cried, to be done which is to guard from the first against any more mischief, having already had enough of it for one morning, not to say more than I could have wished by half. So do you good, Dr. Marchmont, take Judenia under your own care, and I'll make shift with Dr. Orkborn for myself, for in the case he should take again to writing or thinking, it will be nothing to meet to keep still till he has done, provided it should happen at a place where I can sit down. Dr. Orkborn had never felt so deeply hurt, the same commission transferred to Edgar or to Lionel would have failed to affect him. He considered them as of an age fitted for such frivolous employment, which he thought as much below his dignity as the young men themselves were beneath his competition. But the comfort of contempt, a species of consolation ever ready to offer itself to the impulsive pride of man, was here an elevation he could not call to his aid. The character of Dr. Marchmont stood as high in erudition as his own, and though his acquaintance with him was merely personal, the fame of his learning, the only attribute to which fame, in his conception, belonged, had reached him from authority to unquestionable for doubt. The urbanity therefore of his manners, his general diffusion of discourse, and his universal complacence, filled him with astonishment, and raised an emotion of envy which no other person would have been deemed worthy of exciting. But though his long and fixed residence at Cleves had now removed the timid circumspection with which he first sought to ensure his establishment, he yet would not venture any positive refusal to the baronet. He resigned therefore his young charge to his new and formidable opponent, and even exerted himself to mark some alacrity in assisting Sir Yu. But his whole real attention was upon Dr. Marchmont, whom his eye followed in every motion, to discover, if possible, by what art unknown he had acquired such a command over his thoughts and understanding, as to bear patiently, nay, pleasantly, with the idle and unequal companions of general society. Dr. Marchmont, who was rector of Cleves, had been introduced to Sir Yu upon the baronet settling in the large mansion house of that village. But he had not visited at the house, nor had his company been solicited. Sir Yu, who could never separate understanding from learning, nor want of education from folly, concluded that such a man as Dr. Marchmont must necessarily despise him. And though the extreme sweetness of his temper made him draw the conclusion without resentment, it so effectually prevented all wish of any intercourse, that they had never converse together till this morning. And his surprise, now, at such civilities and good humor in so great a scholar, differed only from that of Dr. Orkbon in being accompanied with admiration instead of envy. Eugenia, thus disposed of, they were proceeding when Sir Yu next observed the young oxomion. He was speaking with Indiana, to whom his passionate devotion was glaring from his luke's air and whole manner. Tell me, exclaimed he, if there is not another of those new chaps that nobody knows anything about, talking to Indiana and for all I can tell to the contrary, making love to her. I think I never took such a bad walk as this before, since the hour I was born. In point of unluckiness, Robert will have enough to answer for which he must expect to hear, and indeed I am not much obliged to Mrs. Margland herself, and so I must needs tell her, though it is not what I much like to do. He then made a sign to Mrs. Margland to approach him. Mrs. Margland, he cried, I should not have taken the liberty to beckon you in this manner, but that I think it right to ask you what those two dungy gentlemen that I never saw before do in the churchyard, which is a thing I think rather odd. As to that gentleman, sir, she answered bridling, who was standing by me, he is the only person I have found to protect me from Mr. Lionel, whose behavior, sir, I must freely tell you. Why, certainly Mrs. Margland, I can't deny, but he's rather a little over and above Diddy, but I am sure your understanding won't mind it, in consideration of his being young enough to be your son, in the case of your having been married time enough. He then decided Indiana would come to him. The rapture of the Exonian was converted into torture by the summons, and the suspense which the moment before had dilded with the gay colors of hope he felt would be no longer supportable when decreed of the sight of his divinity. Scares could he refrain from casting himself publicly at her feet, and pouring forth the wishes of his heart. But when again the call was repeated, and he saw her look another way, as if desirous not to attend to it, the impulse of quick rising joy dispersed the small remains of forbearance, and precipitately clasping his hands. Oh, go not, he passionately exclaimed, leave me not in this abyss of suffering. Fairest and most beautiful, tell me at least if my death is inevitable, if no time, no constancy, no adoration may ever dare hope to penetrate that gentlest of bosoms. Indiana herself was now for the first time sensible of a little emotion. The animation of this address delighted her. It was new, and its effect was highly pleasing. How cold, she thought, is Edgar. She made not any answer, but permitted her eyes to meet his with the most languishing softness. Melmon trembled through his whole frame, despair flew him, and expectation water-brightest plummage. Oh, pronounce but one word, he cried, one single word. Are, are you? Oh, say not yes, irrevocably engaged, lost to all hope, all possibility for ever. Indiana again lysed on her fine eyes with her most melting powers, and all self-control was finally over with her impassioned lover, whom engling prayers for her favor with adoration of her beauty. He did not who hurt him, and forgot every presence but her own. Miss Markland, who, engrossed by personal resentment and debates, had not remarked the rising courage and energy of Melmon, had just turned to Indiana upon the second call of Sir Yu, and became now utterly confounded by the sight of her willing attention. Miss Linmeyer cried she angrily. What are you thinking of? Suppose Mr. Mandelbad should come. What might be the consequence? Mandelbad? repeated Melmon while the blood forsook his cheeks. Is it then even so? Is all over, all decided? Is my destiny black and ireful for ever? Indiana, still more and more struck with him, looked down, internally uttering, Ah, where this charming youth but master of beach park! At this instant the rapid approach of a carriage caught their ears, and eager to avoid making a decisive reply, she ran to the churchyard gate to look at it, exclaiming, Dear, what an elegant chariot! When it came up to the party, it stopped, and opening the door himself, Edgar jumped hastily out of it. The oxonians stood aghast, but Indiana, springing forward and losing in curiosity every other sensation, cried, Dear, Mr. Mandelbad, whose beautiful new carriage is that? Yours? answered he gallantly. If you will honour it with any commands. She then observed his crests if her were on the panels, and another entire new set of ideas took instant possession of her mind. She received literally an answer which he had made in gay courtesy, and held out her hand to be helped into the chariot. Edgar, though surprised and even startled at this unexpected appropriation of his civility, could not receive, but the moment he had seated her, hastily turned round to inquire who else was most fatigued. The oxonian now felt lost, suddenly abruptly but irretrievably lost. The surfer he saw, the question whose carriage is that, he heard the answer yours, made him gasp for breath, and the instantaneous acceptance stung him to the soul. Fully in desperation he rushed to the opposite window of the chariot, and calling out, Enough! Cruel! Cruel! Enough! I will see you no more, hurried out of sight. Indiana, who for the first time thought herself mistress of a new and elegant equipage, was so busily employed in examining the trappings and the lining that she bore his departure without a sigh, though but an instant before it might have cost her something near one. Eugenia had been touched more deeply. She was ignorant of what had passed, but she had seen the agitation of Melmont, and the moment he disappeared she ejaculated secretly. Ah! Had he conceived the preprocession of Bellamy, where had been my steadiness? Where, O Clement, thy security? The scrupulous delicacy of her mind was shocked at this suggestion, and she rejoiced she had not been put to such a trial. Edgar now explained that when he arrived at the cottage, he found, as he had foreseen, the garden chair waiting there, by mistake, and Robert in much distress, having just discovered that an accident had happened to one of the wheels. He had run on, therefore, himself to Beach Park for his own new chariot, which was lately arrived from town, making Robert follow with Sir Yu's horses, as his own were out at grass. It was dinner time, and Sir Yu equally vexed and fatigued, resolved to return straight home. He accepted, therefore, a place in the chariot, bid Eugenia follow him, and Robert make haste, solemnly adding to the latter. I had fully intended making you the proper lecturer upon your not coming in time, but, as it has turned out, not to be your fault on account of an accident, I shall say no more, except to give you a hint not to do such a thing again, because we have all been upon the point of being tossed by a mad bull, which would certainly have happened, but for the lucky chance of its turning out a false alarm. The remainder of the party proceeded without further adventure. Edgar attended Camilla, Miss Marglund adhered to Bellamy, Lionel, who durst not venture at any new frolic, but with whom time lingered when none was passing, retreated. Dr. Marchman, who was near his home, soon also made his bow, and Dr. Orkbon, who was glad to be alone, ruminated with wonder upon what appeared to him a phenomenon, a man of learning who could deign to please and seem pleased where books were not the subject of discourse, and where scholastic attainments were not required to elucidate a single sentence. End of Chapter 12 Redd by Lars Rolander Book 2, Chapter 13 and 14 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording, all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney Chapter 13 Two Ways of Looking at the Same Thing When the party arrived at Cleves, Camilla who had observed that Edgar seemed much disappointed by the breaking up of the cottage expedition, proposed that it should take place in the evening, and her uncle, though too much fatigued to venture out again himself, consented or rather insisted that the excursion should be made without him. Before they set out, Edgar decided to speak with Sir Hugh in private. Sir Hugh concluded it was to make his proposals of marriage for Indiana, and had no patience to step into his own apartment, but told them all to retire with a nod at Indiana, which prepared not only herself, but Miss Marglant, Camilla and Eugenia to join in its expectation. Indiana, though a good deal fluttered, flew to a window to see if the new chariot was inside, and then, turning to Miss Marglant, asked, Pray, should I refuse him at first? Miss Marglant spared not for proper instructions, and immediately began a negotiation with a fair questioner for continuing to live with her. Eugenia was occupied in reflecting with pity upon the idleness of Indiana, which so ill had fitted her for becoming the companion of Manlbert. Camilla, unusually thoughtful, walked alone into the garden and sought a path least in sight. Sir Hugh, meanwhile, was most unpleasantly undeceived. Edgar, without naming Indiana, informed him of the situation in which he had surprised Bellamy, and of his suspicions with regard to the destination of the chairs, but for his own timely arrival at the farmhouse, adding that his gratitude to Mr. Tyrol, his respect for himself and his affection for all the family, made him think it his duty to reveal these circumstances without delay. The Baronet shuddered with horror, and declared he would instantly send an express to bring Clermont home, that Eugenia might be married out of hand, and in the meantime, that he would have every window in the house barred, and keep her locked up in her room. Edgar dissuaded him from so violent a measure, but advised him to speak with his niece upon the danger she had probably escaped, and of which she seemed fully unconscious to prevail with her not to go out again this evening and to send for Mr. Tyrol and acquaint him with the affair. Sir Hugh thanked him for his counsel and implicitly acted by his opinion. He then ordered the coach for Miss Marglund, Indiana, and Camila. Dr. Orkborn, finding neither Sir Hugh nor Eugenia of the party, declined joining it. Lionel was returned to Etherington, and Edgar rode on before to invite Dr. Marchman with the consent of the Baronet to take the fourth place in the carriage. Arrived at the rectory, he went straight by prescriptive privilege into the study of Dr. Marchman, whom he found immersed in books and papers, which immediately at the request of Edgar he put aside, not without regret to acquit them, though fully without reluctance to oblige. Edgar had ridden so hard that they had some time to wait for the coach, but he did not appear anxious for its arrival, though he wore a look that was far from implying him to be free from anxiety. He was silent. He hemmed. He was silent again, and again he hemmed, and then gently laying his hand upon the shoulder of the doctor, while his eyes full of meaning were fixed upon his face. Dr. he cried, You would hardly have known these young ladies. They are all grown from children into women since you saw them last. Yes, answered the doctor, and very charming women. Indiana has a beauty so exquisite it is scarce possible to look away from it a moment. Eugenia joins so much innocence with information that the mind must itself be deformed that could well upon her personal defects after conversing with her. Camilla, he paused, and Edgar hastily turned another way, not to look at him nor be looked at while he proceeded. Camilla, he presently continued, seems the most inartificially sweet, the most unobtrusively gay, and the most attractively lovely of almost any young creature I ever beheld. With a heart all expanded and a face full of sensibility, Edgar now turned to him and ceasing involuntarily his hand, which he eagerly shook. The thinker then, he cried, but suddenly stopped, dropped his hand, coughed two or three times, and taking out his pocket handkerchief seemed tormented with a violent cold. Dr. Marchmont affectionately embraced him. My dear young friend, he cried, I see the situation of your mind and think every possible happiness promises to be yours, yet if you have taken no positive step suffer me to speak with you before you proceed. Far from having taken any positive step I have not yet even formed any resolution. Here the courage stopped for the doctor who repeated, Yes, I think every possible happiness promises to be yours, before he went on to the ladies. Edgar, in attrepidation, too great to be seen by them, kept behind till they drew off, though he then galloped so fast that he arrived at the cottage before them. The words I think every possible happiness promises to be yours, vibrating the whole time in his airs. When the coach arrived, Edgar handed out Miss Marglund and Indiana, leaving Camilla to the doctor, willing to let him see more of her, and by no means displeased to void his eyes at that moment himself. Indiana was in the most sprightly spirit she had ever experienced. She concluded herself on the verge of becoming mistress of a fine place and a large fortune. She had received odolation all the morning that had raised her beauty higher than ever in her own estimation. And she secretly revolved with delight, various articles of ornament and of luxury, which she had long wished to possess, and which now, for her wedding close, she should have riches sufficient to purchase. Miss Marglund, too, was all smoothness, complacency, and courtesy. Camilla alone was grave, Camilla, who by nature, was gay. Dear, is this the cottage we have been coming to all this time? cried Indiana upon entering. Lord, I thought it would have been something quite pretty. And what sort of prettiness, said Edgar, did you expect from a cottage? Dear, I don't know, but I thought we were come on purpose to see something extraordinary. Camilla, who followed, made an exclamation far different. An exclamation of pleasure, surprise, and vivacity, that restored for an instant all her native gaiety. For no sooner had she crossed the threshold than she recognized in a woman who was courtesy low to receive her, and whom Indiana had passed without observing, the wife of the poor prisoner for whom she had interceded with Mandelbert. How I rejoice to see you, cried she, and to see you here, and how much better you look, and how comfortable you seem. I hope you are now all well. Ah, madam, answered the woman. We owe everything to that good young gentleman. He has put us in this nice new cottage, and employs us in his service. Blessings on his head. I'm sure he will be paid for it. Edgar somewhat agitated, occupied himself with jumping the little boy. Camilla looked round with rapture. Indiana seemed wonderstruck, without knowing why. Dr. Marchmont narrowly watched them all, and Miss Marglant, expecting a new collection, would be next proposed for setting them up, namely, re-crossed the threshold to examine the prospect without. The husband now indecent garb, and much recovered, though still weak and emaciated, advanced to Camilla to make his humble acknowledgments that she had recommended them to their kind benefactor. No, cried Camilla, you owe me nothing. Your own distress recommended you, your own distress and Mr. Mandelbert's generosity. Then, going up to Edgar, it is your happy fate, she said in an accent of admiration, to act all that my father so often plans and wishes, but which his income will not allow him to execute. You see, answered he gratefully, how little suffices for content. I have scarce done anything, yet how relieved, how satisfied are these poor people. This hut was fortunately vacant. O madam, interrupted the poor woman, if you knew but how that good gentleman has done it all, how kindly he has used us and made everybody else use us, and let nobody taunt us with our bad faults, and what good he has done to my poor sick husband, and how he has clothed my poor little half-naked children, and what is more than all saved us from the shame of an ill life. Camilla felt the tears start into her eyes. She hastily snatched the little babe into her arms, and while her kisses hid her face happy and thrice happy Indiana, with a soft sigh, was the silent ejaculation of her heart. She seated herself on a stool, and without speaking or hearing anything more, devoted herself to the baby. Indiana, meanwhile, whose confidence in her own situation, gave her courage to utter whatever first occurred to her, having made a general survey of the place and people, with an air of disappointment, now amused herself with an inspection more minute, taking up and casting down everything that was portable, without any regard either to deranging its neatness or endangering its safety, exclaiming as she made a round of investigation. Dear, crockery-ware, how ugly! Lord, what little mean chairs! Is that your best gown, good woman? Dear, what an ugly pattern! Well, I would not wear such a thing to save my life. Have you got nothing better than this for a floor cloth? Only look at those curtains! Did you ever see such frights? Lord, do you eat off these flatters? I am sure I could sooner die. I should not mind starving half as much. Miss Markland, hoping the collection was now either made or relinquished, ventured to re-enter and inquire if they never meant to return home. Camilla unwillingly gave up the baby, but would not depart without looking over the cottage where everything she saw excited a sensation of pleasure. How neat is this! How tidy is that! were her continual exclamations, how pride you have rubbed your saucepans, how clean everything is all round, how soon you will get all well in this healthy and comfortable little dwelling. Edgar, in a low voice, then told Dr. Marchman the history of his new cottagers, saying, You will not, I hope, disapprove what I have done. Their nature seemed so much disposed to good I could not bear to let their wants turn them again to evil. You have certainly done right, answered the doctor, to give money without inquiry or further aid to those who have adopted bad practices is to them a great temptation and to society an injury. But to give them both the counsel and the means to pursue a right course is to them perhaps salvation and to the community the greatest service. Indiana and Miss Margeline, quite wary, both got into the carriage. Edgar, having deposited them, returned to Camilla who kissed both the children, put forth good wishes upon the father and mother and then gave him her hand. Enchanted, he took it, exclaiming, Ah, who is like you so lively yet so feeling? Struck and penetrated, she made no answer. Alas, she thought, I fear he is not quite satisfied with Indiana. Dr. Marchman was set down at his own house where he begged to have a conference with Edgar the next morning. The whole way home, the benevolence of Edgar occupied the mind of Camilla and not in the present instance the less that its subject had been originally of her own pointing out. Chapter 14, Two Retreats Mr. and Mrs. Tyrol had obeyed the summons of Sir Yub, whom they found in extreme tribulation, persuaded by his fears not only of the design of Bellamy, but of its inevitable success. His brother, however, who knew his alarms to be generally as soundfounded as his hopes, and Mrs. Tyrol, who almost undisguisedly despised both, no sooner heard his account than, declining to discuss it, they sent for Eugenia. She related the transaction with a confusion so innocent that it was easy to discern shame alone had hitherto caused her silence and, with a simplicity so unaffected that not a doubt could rest upon their minds but that her heart was as disengaged as her intentions had been irreproachable. Yet they were not the less struck with the danger she had incurred and, while her father blessed Mandelbert for her preservation, her mother was so sensible to his care for the family welfare and honour that the anger she had conceived against him subsided, though the regret to which it had owed its birth increased. Mr. Tyrol gave his daughter some slight cautions and general advice, but thought it wisest since he found her tranquil and unsuspicious, not to raise apprehensions that might disturb her composure, nor awaken ideas of which her determination must be doubtful. Her mother deemed the matter to be undeserving the least serious alarm. The man had appeared to her from the beginning to be a despicable adventurer and her lofty contempt of all low arts made her conclude her well-principled Eugenia as superior to their snares as to their practice. This conference completely quieted the fears of Sir Duke and distinguished his design of sending for Clermont and imagined Edgar to have been too severe in his judgment of Bellamy, who had only knelt in pure compassion to prevail with Eugenia to take care of her life. The rector and his lady were already gone before the cottage group came home. Edgar was anxious to inquire of Sir Duke what had passed. The three females concluding he had still something to say to his propositions by tacit agreement retired to their own rooms. They were not, however, as concurrent in their eagerness to reassemble. Miss Marland and Indiana watched the moment when they might appease their burning curiosity by descending, but Eugenia wished to prolong her absence that she might recover from the embarrassment she had just suffered, and Camilla determined not to appear again till the next morning. For the first time in her life after the shortest separation she forbore to seek Eugenia who she supposed would have gathered all the particulars of the approaching nutshells. She felt no desire to hear them. It was a period to which hitherto she had looked forward as to a thing of course. But this day it had struck her that Edgar and Indiana could not be happy together. She had even surmised from his last speech that he lamented in secret the connection he had formed. The gentlest pity to possession of her breast and increasing admiration succeeded to her pity. She could not bear to witness so unequal a scene as the full satisfaction of Sir Yu contrasted with the seriousness perhaps repentance of Edgar. She pleaded a headache and went to bed. The morning did not find her less averse to hear the confirmation of the suspected news. On the contrary, her repugnance to have it ascertained became stronger. She did not ask herself why. She did not consider the uselessness of flying for one hour what she must encounter the next. The present moment was all she could weigh and to procrastinate any evil seemed to her ardent and active imagination to conquer it. And therefore she planned a visit to Mrs. Arbery though she had given it up so long from the discouragement of Lionel that she felt more of a shame than of pleasure in the idea of making so tardy an apology. But she could think of no other place to which the whole party would not accompany her and to avoid them and their communications for however short a space of time was now her sole aim. Before breakfast she repaired to the apartment of her uncle. Her request was granted as soon as heard, and she ordered the chairs. Indiana and Miss Margeline meanwhile had learned from the baronet that the proposals were not yet made. Miss Margeline softened the disappointment of Indiana by suggesting that her admirer was probably waiting the arrival of some elegant trinket that he destined to present her upon his declaration. But she was by no means free from doubt and suspicion herself. She languished to quick cleaves and Sir Yug had almost thought her accountable for the slowness of Mandelber's proceedings. To keep up her own consequence she had again repeated her assurances that all was in a prosperous train. Though she had frequently with strong private uneasiness the eyes of Edgar fixed upon Camilla with an attention far more pointed than she had ever remarked in them when their direction was towards her fair pupil. Camilla hurried over her breakfast in expectation of the chairs and in dreed continual lest her cousin should call her aside to quaint her that all was arranged. Edgar proceed with surprise that she was going out alone and no sooner gathered with her than drawing her to one of the windows he earnestly said Is it by appointment you wait upon Miss Orbury? No? Does she at all expect you this morning? No? Would it then be asking too much if I should entreat you to postpone your visit for a short time? The whole design of Camilla was to absent herself immediately yet she hated to say no. She looked disturbed and was silent. Have you made any further acquaintance with her since the morning of the raffle? No, none, but I wish excessively to know more of her. She is certainly very agreeable said he with some hesitation but whether she is all Mrs. Tyrell would approve. I hope you know no harm of her. If you do pray keep it to yourself for it would quite afflict me to hear anything to her disadvantage. I should be grieved indeed to be the messenger of affliction to you but I hope there may be no occasion. I only beg a day or two's patience and in the meanwhile I can give you this assurance. She is undoubtedly a woman of character. I saw she had charmed you and I made some immediate inquiries. Her reputation is without taint. A thousand, thousand thanks! cried Camilla Gailey for taking so much trouble and ten thousand more for finding it needless. Edgar could not forbear laughing but answered he was not yet so certain it was needless since exemption from actual blemish could only be a negative recommendation. He should very soon he added see a lady upon whose judgement he could rely and who would frankly satisfy him with respect to some other particulars which he owned he considered as essential to be known before any intimacy should be formed. Wishing to comply with this request yet impatient to leave the house Camilla stood suspended till the shares was announced. I think cried she with a look and tone of irresolution my going this once can draw on no ill consequence. Edgar only dropped his eyes. You are not of that opinion? I have a very particular engagement this morning. He replied but I will readily give it up and ride off instantly to make my application to this lady if it is possible you can defer only till tomorrow your visit. Will you suffer me to ask such a delay? It will greatly oblige me. Why then I will defer it till tomorrow or till tomorrow week cried she fully vanquished. I insist therefore that you do not postpone your business. She then desired the servant who was taking away the breakfast to order the shares to be put up. Edgar subdued in his turn quarter hand but instantly recollecting himself hastily let it go and throwing up the window sash abruptly exclaimed I never saw such fine weather I hope it will not rain. He then rapidly wished them all and mounted his horse. Miss Margland who silent towards the window on pretence of examining a print had heard and seen all that had passed was almost overpowered with rage by the conviction she received that her apprehensions were not groundless. She feared losing all weight both with the Baronet and with Indiana if she made this acknowledgement and retreated confounded to her own room to consider what path to pursue at so dangerous a crisis wearing a scowl upon her face that was always an indication she would not be followed. Camilla also went to her chamber in a perturbation at once pleasing and painful. She was sorry to have missed her excursion but she was happy to have obliged Edgar. She was delighted he could take such interest in her conduct and affairs yet dreaded more than ever a private conversation with Indiana Indiana who every moment appeared to her less and less calculated to bestow felicity upon Edgar Mandelbert. She seated herself at the window and soon through the trees perceived him galloping away. Too, too amable Edgar she cried earnestly looking after him with her hands clasped and starting into her eyes. Frightened at her own tenderness she rose, shut the window and walked to another end of the apartment. She took up a book but she could not read. Too, too amable Edgar again escaped her. She went to her piano forte she could not play. Too, too amable Edgar herself in defiance of all struggle alarmed and ashamed even to herself she resolved to dissipate her ideas by a long walk and not to come out to the park till the first Dinebell summoned her to dress. End of Chapter 13 and 14 Read by Loche Rolander Section 17 of Camilla by Fanny Burney This is a LibriVox recording and recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Camilla by Fanny Burney Book II Chapter 15 Two Sides of a Question The intention of Edgar had been derived to Mrs. Needham, the lady of whom he meant to ask the information to which he had alluded. But a charm too potent for resistance demanded his immediate liberation from the promise to Dr. Machman which bound him to proceed no further till they had again conversed together. He fell up, therefore, to the postage house of Cleaves. In entering the study of the doctor and taking him by the hand with the most animated gesture my dear and honored friend he cried I come to you now without hesitation and free from every painful embarrassment of lurking a resolution. I come to you decided and upon grounds which cannot offend you though the decision anticipates your counsel I come to you and find my dear doctor my good and kind friend to confess that yesterday you saw right and that today I have only your solicitations to beg upon my confirmed my irrevocable choice. Dr. Machman braced him May you then, he cried, be as happy my dear young friend as you deserve I can wish you nothing higher. Last night, continued Edgar I felt all doubt die away, captivating as I have ever thought of her so soft, so gentle, so touchingly sweet as last night I had never yet beheld her you witnessed it, my dear doctor you saw her with a baby in her arms how beautiful, how endearing a sight. The doctor looked dissentingly but did not speak yet even last night was short of the feelings she excited this morning my dear friend she was upon the point of making an excursion from which she had promised herself peculiar pleasure and to see a lady for whom she had conceived the warmest admiration I begged her to postpone perhaps relinquish entirely the visit she had obtained leave from Sir Hugh the carriage was at the door could you believe such sweetness and vivacity she complied with my request and complied with the grace that has riveted her I own it that has riveted her to my soul Dr. Machmont smiled but rather pensively than rejoicingly and Edgar receiving no answer walked for some time about the room silently enjoying his own thoughts returning to the doctor my dear friend he cried I understood you wish to speak with me yes but I thought you disengaged so accept mentally I am still does she not yet know her conquest she does not even guess it Dr. Machmont now rising with much energy said hear me then my dear and most valued young friend for better declare yourself make no overtures to her relations raise no expectations even in her own breast and let not rumors surmise your passion to the world till her heart is better known to you Edgar starting and amazed with great emotion exclaimed what do you mean my good doctor do you suspect any prior engagement any fatal prepossession I expect nothing I do not know her I mean not therefore the propensity is alone but the worth also of her heart deception is easy and I must not see you thrown away let me then be her guarantee cry Edgar with firmness for I know her well I have known her from childhood and cannot be deceived I fear nothing except my own powers of engaging her regard I can trace to a certainty even from my boyish remarks I have an atlas and disinterested character he then gave a recital of the nobleness of his sentiments in conduct when only nine years old contrasting the relation with the sullen and ungenerous behavior of Indiana at the same age Dr. Machmont listened to the account with attention and pleasure but not with an air of that full conviction which Edgar expected all this he said is highly prophetic of good and confirms me in your opinion I expressed last night that every possible happiness promises to be yours yet still said Edgar a little chagrined there seems some drawback to your entire approbation to your choice I have none you perplex me doctor I know not to what you object what you would intimate know what propose all I have to suggest may be comprised of two points first that you will refuse confirmation even to your own intentions till you have positively ascertained her actual possession of those virtues with which he appears to be endowed and secondly that if you find her gifted with them all you will not solicit her acceptance till you are satisfied of her affection my dear doctor cried Edgar half laughingly from what an alarm of wild conjecture has your explanation relieved me hear me however in return and I think I could satisfy you that even upon your own conditions none obstacle stands in the way of my speaking to Mr. Tyrol this evening with regard to your first article her virtues I have told you the dawning superiority of her most juvenile ideas of right and though I have latterly lost sight of her by traveling during our vacations I know where to have always been under the superintendents of one of the first of women and for these last three weeks which I have spent under the same roof with her I have observed her to be all that is amiable sweet natural and generous what then on this point remains nothing I'm ever fragbly convinced of her worth with respect to your second condition I own you a little embarrass me yet how may I inquire into the state of her affections without acknowledging her mistress of mine hold hold interrupted doctor you proceed too rapidly the first article is all unsettled while you were flying to the last it is true and I again repeat it every promise is in your favor but do not mistake promise for performance this young lady appears to be all excellence for an acquaintance for a friend I doubt not you have already seen enough to establish her in your good opinion but since it is only within a few hours you have taken the resolution which is to empower her to color the rest of your life you must study her from this moment with new eyes new years and new thoughts whatever she does you must ask yourself this question should I like such behavior in my wife whatever she says you must make yourself the same demand nothing must escape you you must view as if you had never seen her before the interrogatory where she mine must be present at every look every word every motion you must forget her wholly as Camilla Tyrold you must think of her only as Camilla Mandelbert even justice is insufficient during this period of probation instead of inquiring is this right in her you must simply ask would it be pleasing to me you are apprehensive then of some dissimilitude of character prejudicial to our future happiness not of character you have been very peculiarly situated for obviating all risk upon that first in most important particular I have no doubt of her general worthiness but though a steam hangs wholly upon character happiness always links itself with disposition you gratify me doctor by naming disposition for I can give you the most unequivocal assurance of her sweetness her innocence her benevolence joined to a spirit of never dying vivacity an animation of never ceasing good humor I know you my dear Mandelbert to be by nature penetrating and minute in your observations which in your general commerce with the world will protect both your understanding and your affections from the usual snares of youth but here to be even scrupulous is not enough to avoid all danger of repentance you must become positively distrustful never doctor never I would sooner renounce every prospect of Felicity than act apart so in generous where I am conscious of such dessert upon this article therefore we have done I'm already in fully convinced of her excellence but with respect to your second difficulty that I will not seek her acceptance to satisfied of there indeed you start an idea that comes home to my soul in its very in most recesses doctor could I hope however distantly just I hope the independent unsolicited involuntary possession of that most ingenuous most in our official of human hearts and why not why while so liberal you do justice to another should you not learn to appreciate yourself a look of elation delight and happiness conveyed to Dr. Marshmont his pupils grateful I do not fear making you vain he continued I know you're understanding to be too solid in your temperate to philosophic to endanger you're running into the common futility of priding yourself upon the gifts of nature any more than upon those of fortune isn't there uses only you can claim any applause I will not therefore scruple to assert you can hardly anywhere propose yourself with much danger of being rejected you're aimable and accomplished a bounding and wealth high in character and appearance unacceptable you can have no doubt of the joyful approbation of her friends no can you entertain any reasonable fear of her currents yet with all this pardon me when I plainly explicitly add it is very possible you may be utterly indifferent to her if so at least said Edgar in a tone and with accountants once all elation has flown she will leave me master myself she is too noble to suffer any sordid motives to unite us do not depend upon that the influence of friends the prevalence of example the early notion which every female imbibes that a good establishment must be her first object in life these are motives of marriage commonly sufficient for the whole sex her choice indeed said Edgar thoughtfully would not perhaps be wholly uninfluenced I pretend not to doubt the voice of her friends would be all in my favor yes interrupted doctor much mount and be she noble as she may beach pack will also be in your favor your mansion your equiped your domestics even your table will be in your favor doctor interrupted Edgar in his turn I know you think other women do not let that idea weaken what I urge I have not had reason to think well of them yet I believe there are individuals who merit every regard your Camilla baby one of them take however this warning from my experience whatever is her appearance of worth try and prove its foundation you conclude it invulnerable whatever are your pretensions to her hand do not necessarily connect them with your chances for her heart Mandelberg filled now with a distrust of himself and his powers which he was incapable of harboring of Camilla and her magnanimity felt struck to the soul with the apprehension of failing to gain her affection and wounded in every point both of honor and delicacy from the best suggestion of owing his wife to a situation in the world he found no longer any difficulty in promising not to act with precipitants his confidence was gone his elevation of sentiment was depressed a general mist clouded his prospects and a suspense of discomfort inquired at his mind he shook Dr. Machmont by the hand and assuring him he would weigh well all he had said and take no measure till he had again consulted with him remounted his horse and slowly walked it back to Cleves end of chapter 15 and end of book 2 book 3 chapter 1 of Camilla this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney book 3 chapter 1 a few kind offices with deep concern Eger revolved in his mind the suggestions of Dr. Machmont and meditation far from diminishing added importance to the arguments of his friend to obtain the hand of an object he so highly admired though but lately his soul wish appeared now an uncertain blessing a suspicious good since the possession of her heart was no longer to be considered as its inseparable appendage his very security of the approbation of Mr. and Mrs. Tyrold became a source of solicitude and secret from them from her and from all he determined to guard his views till he could find some opportunity of investigating her own unbiased sentiments such were his ruminations when on re-entering the park he perceived her wandering alone amidst the trees her figure looked so interesting her air so serious her solitude so attractive that every maxim of tardy prudence every caution of timid foresight would instantly have given way to the quick feelings of generous impulse had he not been restrained by his promise to Dr. Machmont he dismounted and giving his horse to his groom retraced her footsteps Camilla almost without her own knowledge had strode towards the gate whence she concluded eager to have ridden from the park and almost without consciousness had continued sauntering in its vicinity yet she no sooner described him than struck with a species of self accusation for this appearance of awaiting him she crossed over to the nearest path towards the house and for the first time was aware of the approach of Edgar without hastening to meet him he slackened his pace to quiet his spirits and restore his manner to its customary serenity before he permitted himself to overtake her can you he then cried forgive me when you hear I have been fulfilling my own appointment and have postponed my promised investigation rather say she gently answered could I have forgiven you if you had shown me you thought my impatience too ungovernable for any delay to find her thus willing to oblige him was a new delight and he expressed his acknowledgements with the most flattering an unusual seriousness made her hear him almost without reply yet peace and harmony revisited her mind and in listening to his valued praise she forgot her late alarm and her own sensations and without extending a thought beyond the present instant again felt tranquil and happy while to Edgar she appeared so completely all that was adorable that he could only remember with Dr. Margemont her secret opinion that he was dissatisfied with his lot gave a softness to her accents that enchanted him while the high esteem for his character which mingled with her pity joined to a lowered sense of her own from a newborn terror lest that pity were too tender spread a charm wholly new over her native fire and vivacity in a few minutes they were overtaken from beach park a basket of flowers for his master they were selected from curious hot house plants and Camilla stopped to admire their beauty and fragrance Edgar presented her the basket whence she simply took a sprague of myrtle and geranium conceiving the present to be designed for Indiana if you are fond of geraniums said he there is an almost endless variety in my greenhouse and I will bring you tomorrow some specimens she thanked him and while he gave orders to the gardener Ms. Margeline and Indiana advanced from the house Ms. Margeline had seen them from her window where in vain deliberation she had been considering what step to take but upon beholding them together she thought deliberation and patience were hopeless and determined by a decisive stroke to break in its bud the connection to the forest forming or throw upon Camilla all censor if she failed as the sole means she could devise to exculpate her own sagacity from impeachment she called upon Indiana therefore to accompany her into the park exclaiming in an angry tone Ms. Lindenmare I will shoe you the true cause why Mr. Mandelbeer does not declare himself your cousin Ms. Camilla is weetling him away from you Indiana whose belief in almost whatever was said was undisturbed by any species of reflection felt filled with resentment and a sense of injury and readily following said I was sure there was something more in it than I saw because Mr. Melmond behaves so differently but I don't take it very kind of my cousin I can tell her they then hurried into the park but as they came without any plan they were no sooner within a few yards waiting than they stopped short at a loss what to say or do Edgar vexed at their interruption continued talking to the gardener to avoid joining them but seeing Camilla who less than ever wished for their communications walk instantly another way he thought it would be improper to pursue her and only bowing to Ms. Margland and Indiana went into the house this is worse than ever cried Ms. Margland off without speaking or even offering you any of his flowers which I dare say are only to be put into the parlor flower pots for the whole house I'm sure I'm very glad of it said Indiana for I hate flowers but I'm sure Mr. Melmond would not have done so nor Colonel Andover nor Mr. McDursey more than all no nor anybody else my dear that had common sense and their eyes open nor Mr. Mandibel neither if it were not for Camilla however we'll let her know we see what she's about and let Sir Hugh know too for as to the colonels and the and signs and that young Oxford student they won't at all do officers are commonly worth nothing and scholars you may take my word for it my dear are the dullest men in the world besides one would not give such a fine fortune as Mr. Mandel bears without making a little struggle for it you don't know the things you may do with it so let us shoe her we don't want for spirit and speak to her at once these words reviving in the mind of Indiana her wedding clothes the train of servants and the new equipage gave fresh peak to her provocation but finding some difficulty to overtake the fleet Camilla whose pace kept measure with her wish to avoid them she called after her to desire she would not walk so fast Camilla reluctantly loitered but without stopping or turning to meet them that she might still regale herself with the perfume of the geranium presented to her by Edgar you're in great haste ma'am said Miss Marglind which I own I did not observe to be the case just know Camilla in much surprise ask what she meant my meaning is pretty plain I believe to anybody that chose to stand it however though Miss Lindmere scorns to be her own champion I cannot as a friend be quite so passive nor help hinting to you how little you would like such proceeding to yourself from any other person what proceeding cried Camilla blushing from a dawning comprehension of the subject though resenting the manner of the complaint nay only ask yourself man only ask yourself Miss Camilla how you should like to be so supplanted if such an establishment were forming for yourself and everything were fixed and everybody else refused and nobody to enter it's all taking place but a near relation of your own who ought to be the first to help it forward I should like to know I say Miss Camilla how you would feel if it were your own case astonished and indignant at so sudden and violent an assault Camilla stood suspended whether to deign any vindication or to walk silently away yet its implications involuntarily filled her with a thousand other and less offending emotions than those of anger and a general confusion crimsoned her cheeks you cannot but be sensible ma'am resumed Miss Marglind for sense is not what you want that you have seduced Mr. Mandelbeer from your cousin you cannot but see he takes hardly the smallest notice of her from the pains you are at to make him admire nobody but yourself the spirit of Camilla now rose high to her aid at a charge thus impertinent and unjust Miss Marglind she cried you shock and amaze me I am at a loss for any motive to so cruel an accusation but you I hope at least my dear Indiana are convinced how much it injures me she would then have taken the hand but disdainfully drawing it back I shan't break my heart about it I assure you she cried you are vastly welcome to him for me I hope I am not quite so odious but I may find other people in the world besides Mr. Mandelbeer oh as to that said Miss Marglind I am sure you only have to look in order to choose but since this affair has been settled by your uncle I can't say I think it very grateful in any person to try to over set his particular wishes poor old gentleman I'm sure I pity him it will go hard enough with him when he comes to hear it such a requital and from his own niece this was an attack of the most offensive that Camilla could receive nothing could so nearly touch her as an idea of ingratitude to her uncle and resting upon that the whole tide of those feelings which were in fact divided and subdivided into many crossing channels she broke forth with great eagerness into exclaiming Miss Marglind this is quite barbarous you know and you Indiana cannot but no I would not give my uncle the smallest pain to me mistress of a thousand universes why then said Miss Marglind should you break up a scheme which he has so much set his heart upon why are you always winning over Mr. Mandel there to yourself by all that flattery why are you always consulting him always obliging him always of his opinion always ready to take his advice Miss Marglind replied Camilla with the extremist agitation this is so unexpected so undeserved and interpretation my consultation or my acquiescence have been merely from respect no other thought no other motive good God what is it you imagine what guilt would you impute to me oh dear cried Indiana pray don't suppose it signifies if you like to make compliments in that matter to gentlemen pray do it I hope I shall always hold myself above it I think it's their place to make compliments to me a resentful answer was rising to the tongue of Camilla when she perceived her two little sprigs which in her recent disorder she had dropped were demolishing under the feet of Indiana who with apparent unmeaningness but internal suspicion of their giver had trampled upon them both hastily stooping she picked them up and with evident vexation was blowing from them the dust and dirt when Indiana scoffingly said I wonder where you got that geranium I don't wonder at all said Miss Marglind for Sir you has none of that species so one may easily guess Camilla felt herself blush and letting the flowers fall turned to Indiana and said cousin if on my account it is possible you can suffer the smallest uneasiness tell me but what I shall do you shall dictate to me you shall command me Indiana disclaimed all interest in her behavior but Miss Marglind cried what can you do ma'am is this and nothing can be easier nor fairer leave off paying all that court to Mr. Mandelbeer of asking his advice and follow your own whether he likes it or not and go to see Mrs. Albury and Mrs. everybody else when you have a mind without waiting for permission or troubling yourself about what he thinks of it Camilla now trembles in every joint and with difficulty restrained from tears while timidly she said do you dear Indiana demand of me this conduct and will it at least satisfy you me oh dear no I demand nothing I assure you the whole matter is quite indifferent to me and you may ask his leave for everything in the world if you choose it there are people enough ready to take my part I hope if you set him against me ever so much indeed indeed Indiana said Camilla overpowered with conflicting sensations this is using me very unkindly and without waiting to hear another word she hurried into the house and flew to hide herself in her own room this was the first bitter moment she had ever known peace gay though uniform had been the constant inmate of her breast enjoyed without thought possessed without struggle not the subdued gift of accommodating philosophy but the inborn and genial produce of youthful felicity's best alignment the energy of own animal spirits she had indeed for some time passed thought Edgar of two refined and two susceptible a character for the unthinking and distinguishing Indiana and for the last day or two her regret that his fate had strengthened itself into an averseness of his supposed destination that made the idea of it painful and the subject but she had never till this very morning distrusted the anoxysness either of her pity or her regard and startled at the first surmise of danger she had wished to fly even from herself rather than venture to investigate feelings so unwelcome yet still and invariably she had concluded Edgar the future husband of Indiana to hear there were any doubts of the intended marriage filled her with this indefinable to hear herself named as the cause of those doubts was alarming both to her integrity and her delicacy she felt the extremist anger at the unprovoked and unwarrantable harshness of Miss Marglind and a resentment nearly equal at the determined petulance and unjustifiable aspersions of Indiana satisfied of the innocence of her intentions she knew not what alteration in her behavior and after various plans concluded that to make none would best manifest her freedom from self-reproach at the summons therefore to dinner she was the first to appear eager to shoe herself unmoved by the injustice of her accusers and desirous to convince them she was fearless of examination yet too much discomposed to talk in her usual manner she seized upon a book to the party was seated answering then to the call of her uncle with as easy an air as she could assume she took her custom place by his side and began for mere employment filling a plate from the dish that was nearest to her which she gave to the footmen without any direction whether to carry or inquire if anybody chose to eat it it was taken round the table and though refused by all she heaped up another plate with the same diligence and speed as if it had been accepted Edgar who had been accidentally detained only now entered apologizing for being so late engrossed by the pride of self-defense and the indignancy of unmeritant unkindness the disturbed mine of Camilla had not yet formed one separate reflection nor even admitted a distinct idea of Edgar himself disengaged from the accusation in which he stood involved but he had now amply his turn the moment he appeared the deepest ashes covered her face and an emotion so powerful beat in her breast that the immediate impulse of her impetuous feelings was to declare herself ill and run out of the room with this view she rose but ashamed of her planned seated herself the next moment though she had first overturned her plate and a sauce boat in the vehemence of her haste this accident rather recovered then disconcerted her by affording an unaffected occupation in begging pardon of Sir Hugh who was the chief sufferer changing the napkins and restoring the table to order what on earth can be the matter with Miss Camilla I can't guess exclaimed Miss Marland though with an expression of spite that fully contradicted her difficulty of conjecture I hope said Edgar surprise Miss Camilla is not ill I can't say I think my cousin looks very bad said Indiana Camilla who was rubbing a part of her gown upon which nothing had fallen affected to be too busy to hear them which Sir Hugh concluding her silent from shame entreated her not to think of his cloths which were worth no great matter not being his best by two or three suits her thoughts had not waited this injunction yet it was in vain she strove to behave as if nothing had happened her spirit instigated but it would not support her her voice grew husky she stammered forgot as she went on what she designed to say when she began speaking and frequently was forced to stop short with a faint laugh at herself and with a color every moment increasing and the very instant the cloth was removed she rose unable to constrain herself any longer and ran upstairs to her own room there all her efforts evaporated in tears cruel cruel miss margilland she cried unjust unkind Indiana how have I merited this treatment what can Edgar think of my disturbance what can I devise to keep from his knowledge the barbarous accusation which has caused it in a few minutes she heard the step of eugenia ashamed she hastily wiped her eyes and before the door could be opened was at the further end of the room looking into one of her drawers what is it that has vexed my dearest Camilla cried her kind sister something I am sure has grieved her I cannot guess what I have done with I can nowhere find stammered Camilla engaging in some apparent search but too much confused to name anything of which he might probably be in want eugenia desired to assist her but a servant came to the door to tell them that the company was going to the summer house with her they would be baked they would follow Camilla be sought eugenia to join them and make her excuses but fearing Miss Margland would attribute her absconding to guilds or cowardice she bathed her eyes in cold water and overtook her sister at the stairs of the little building in ascending them she heard Miss Margland say I dare believe nothing is the matter but some whim for to be sure as to whims Miss Camilla has the most of any creature I ever saw Miss Lindmere the least for you may imagine Mr. Mandelbeer I have pretty good opportunity to see all these young people in their real colors Overset by this malignancy she was again flying to the refuge of her own room and the relief of tears when the conviction of such positive ill will in Miss Margland for which she could assign no reason but her unjust and exclusive partiality to Indiana checked her precipitancy she feared she would construe to still another whim her non-appearance and resuming a little fresh strength from fresh resentment turned back but the various keen sensations she experienced as she entered the summer house rendered this little action the most severe stretch of fortitude her short and happy life had yet called upon her to make Sir Hugh addressed her some kind inquiries which she hastily answered while she pretended to be busy in preparing to wind some sewing silk upon cards she could have chosen no employment less adapted to display the cool indifference she wished to manifest to Miss Margland and Indiana she pulled the silk the wrong way twisted twirled and entangled it continually and while she talked valuably of what she was about as if it were the sole subject of her thoughts her shaking hands shoot her whole frame disordered her high colour betrayed her strong internal emotion Edgar looked at her with surprise and concern what had dropped from Miss Margland of her whims he had heard with disdain for without suspecting her of malice to Camilla he concluded her warped by her prejudice in favour of Indiana Dr. Marchmont however had bid him judge by proof not appearance and he resolved therefore to investigate the cause of this disquiet before he acted upon his belief in its blamelessness having completely spoiled one scheme she threw it aside and saying the weather so fine I cannot bear to stay within left her silk her winders and her work bag on the first chair and skipped down the stairs Sir Hugh declined walking but would let nobody remain with him Edgar as if studying the clouds glided down first Camilla perceiving him bent her head and began gathering some flowers he stood by her a moment in silence and then said tomorrow morning without fail I will wait upon Mrs. Needham Pray take your own time I am not in any haste you are very good and I am more obliged to you than I can express for suffering my officious interference with such patience a rustling of silk made Camilla now look up and she perceived Miss Margland remaining half out of the window of the summer house from earnestness to catch what she said angry thus to be watched and persuaded that both innocence and dignity called upon her to make no change in her open consideration for Edgar she answered in a voice that strove to be more audible but that irresistibly trembled I beg you will impartially consult with your own judgment and decide as you think right Edgar now became as little composed as herself the power with which she invested him possessed a charm to dissolve every hesitating doubt and when upon her raising her head he perceived the redness of her eyes and found that the perturbation which had perplexed him was mingled with some affliction the most tender anxiety filled his mind and though somewhat checked by the vicinity of Miss Margland his voice expressed the warmest solicitude as he said I know not how to thank you for this sweetness but I fear something disturbs you I fear you are not well or are not happy Camilla again bent over the flowers but it was not to send their fragrance she sought only a hiding place for her eyes which were gushing with tears and though she wished to fly a thousand miles off she had not courage to take a single step nor forced to trust her voice with the shortest reply you will not speak yet you do not deny that you have some uneasiness could I give it but the smallest relief how fortunate I should think myself and is it quite impossible do you forbid me to ask what it is forbid me the indulgence even to suggest ask nothing suggest nothing and think of it no more interrupted Camilla if you would not make me quite she stopped suddenly not to utter the word unhappy she felt the impoper strength at the moment it was quivering on her lips and leaving her sentence unfinished abruptly walked away Edgar could not presume to follow yet felt her conquest irresistible her self-denial with regard to Mrs. Albury won his highest approbation her compliance with his wishes convinced him of her esteem and her distress so new and so unaccountable centered every wish of his heart and to revive her to obtain this privilege hastened at once and determined his measures he excused himself therefore from walking and went instantly to his chamber to reclaim by a hasty letter to Dr. Marchmont his procrastinating promise end of chapter one book three chapter two of Camilla this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Linda Velwest Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney book three chapter two a pro and a con with a pen flowing quick from feelings of the most generous warmth Edgar wrote the following letter to Dr. Marchmont accuse me not of precipitance my dear doctor or believe me capable of forgetting the wisdom of your suggestions nor of lightly weighing those evils with which your zeal has encompassed me though I write at this instant to confess a total contrarity of sentiment to call back every promise of delay and to make an unqualified avowal that the period of caution is past Camilla is not happy something I know not what has disturbed the gay serenity of her bosom she has forbid me to inquire the cause one way only remains to give me a claim to her confidence oh doctor wonder not if cold tardy suspicious I had nearly said unfeeling caution shrinks at such a moment the rising influence of warmer sympathy which bid me soothe her in distress shield her from danger strengthen all her virtues and participate in their emanations you will not do me the injustice to think me either impelled or blinded by external enchantments you know me to have withstood their yet fuller blaze oh no where she despoiled of all personal attraction by the same ravaging distemper that has been so fierce with her poor sister were a similar cruel accident to rob her form of all symmetry she would yet be more fascinating to my soul by one single look one single word one sweet beaming smile diffusing all the gaiety it displays then all of beauty all of elegance all of rank all of wealth the whole kingdom in some wonderful aggregate could oppose to her her face her form however penetrating in loveliness aid but do not constitute her charms no tis the quick intelligence of soul that mounts to her eyes the spirit check by sweetness the sweetness animated by spirit the nature so nobly above all artifice all study oh doctor restore to me immediately every vestige every trait of any promise any acquiescence any idea the most distant that can be construed into a compliance with one moment requisition of delay aid girmando bear please park Friday evening Camilla meanwhile shut up in her room wept almost without cessation from a sense of general unhappiness though fixed to no point and from a disturbance of mind a confusion of ideas and feelings that rendered her incapable of reflection she was again followed by eugenia and could no longer refuse to her tender anxiety a short detail of attack which occasioned her disorder happy at least in reciting it that by unfolding the cause there no longer remained any necessity to repress the effects of her affliction to her great surprise however eugenia only said and is this all my dear Camilla all exclaimed Camilla yes is it all I was afraid some great misfortune had happened and what could happen more painful more shocking more cruel a thousand things for this is nothing but a mere mistake and you should not make yourself unhappy about it because you are not to blame is it then nothing to be accused of designs and intentions so criminal if the accusation were just it might indeed make you wretched but it is miss margeline only who has any reason to be afflicted for it is she alone who has been in the wrong struck with this plain but incontrovertible truth Camilla wiped her eyes and strove to recover some composure but finding her tears still force their way it is not she cried with some hesitation it is not the aspersions of miss margeline alone that give me so much vexation the unkindness of indiana indeed she is highly reprehensible and so I will tell her but still if she has any fears however ill founded of losing Edgar you cannot but pardon you must even pity her struck again and still more forcibly by this second truth Camilla ashamed of her grief made a stronger and more serious effort to repress it and receiving soon afterwards a summons from her uncle her spirit rose once more to the relief of her rejection upon seeing him seated between miss margeline and indiana and discerning that they had been making some successful complaint by the air of triumph with which they waited her approach my dear Camilla he cried with a look of much disturbance here's a sad adieu I find though I don't mean to blame you nor young Mr. Mandelbeer neither taste being a fault one can't avoid not but what a person changing their mind is what I can't command in any one which I shall certainly let him know not doubting to bring him round by means of his own sense only my dear in the meanwhile I must beg you not to stand in your cousin's way indeed my dear uncle I do not merit this imputation I am not capable of such treachery indignantly answered to Camilla treachery lord help us treachery cried sir Hugh finally embracing her don't I know you are as innocent as the baby unborn and more innocent too from the advantage of having more sense to guide you boy treachery my dear Camilla why I think there's nobody so good in the wide world by which I mean no reflections never thinking it right to make any indiana sullenly pouting spoke not a word but Ms. Margland with a tone of plausibility that was some covert to its malice said why then all may be well and the young ladies as good friends as ever and Mr. Mandelbeer returned to the conduct of a gentleman only just by Ms. Camilla's doing as she would be done by for nothing that all of us can say will have any effect if she does not discourage him from dangling about after her in the manner he does now speaking to nobody else and always asking her opinion about every trifle which is certainly doing no great justice to Ms. Linmere indiana with a toss of the head protested his notice was the last thing she desired my dear indiana said Sir Hugh don't mind all that outward shoe Mr. Mandelbeer is a very good boy and as to your cousin Camilla I am sure I need not put you in mind how much she is the same but I really think whatever's the reason the young youths of nowadays grow backwarder and backwarder though I can't say but what in my time it was just the same witness myself which is what I have been sorry for often enough though I have left off repenting it now because it's of no use age being a thing there's no getting ahead of well then all that remains is this said Ms. Marglind let Ms. Camilla keep out of Mr. Mandelbeer's way and let her order the carriage and go to Mrs. Albury's tomorrow think no notice of his likings and dislikings and I'll be bound for it he will soon think no more of her and then of course he will give the proper attention to Ms. Lindmeer oh that's all cried Sir Hugh my dear Camilla I am sure we'll do it and as much again too to make her cousin easy and so now I hope all is settled and my two good girls will kiss one another and be friends which I assure I am myself but I am sorry Camilla hung her head in speechless perturbation at a task which appeared to her equally hard and unjust but while fear and shame kept her silent Sir Hugh drew her to Indiana and a cold yet unavoidable salute gave a species of tassic consent to a plan which she did not dare oppose from the very strength of the desire that urged her opposition they then separated Sir Hugh and then separated Miss Margeline to triumphant Indiana have satisfied half a fronted and Camilla with a mind so crowded a heart so full she scarcely breathed sensations the most contrary of pain pleasure hope and terror at once assailed her Edgar of whom so long she had only thought of as the destined husband of Indiana she now heard named with suspicions of another regard to extension yet of which the most distant surmise made her consider herself for a moment as the happiest of human beings though she held herself the next as the most culpable for even wishing it she found Eugenia still in her room who perceiving her increased emotion tenderly inquired if there were any new cause alas yes my dearest Eugenia they have been exacting from me the most cruel of sacrifices they order me to fly from Edgar Mandelbeer to resist his advice to take the very measures I have promised to forbear to disablage to slight to behave to him even offensively my uncle himself lenient kind indulgent as he is my uncle himself has been prevailed with to inflict upon me this terrible injunction my uncle answered Eugenia is incapable of giving pain to anybody and least of all to you whom he loves with such fondness he has not therefore comprehended the affair he only considers in general that to please or displease Edgar Mandelbeer can be a manner of no moment to you when compared to its importance to Indiana it is a thousand and a thousand a million and a million times more important to me than it can ever be to her exclaimed the ardent Camilla for she values not his kindness she knows not his worth she is insensible to his virtues you judge too hastily my dear Camilla she has not indeed your warmth of heart but if she did not wish the union to take place why would she shoe all this disquiet in the heart's breach Camilla surprised into recollection endeavored to become calmer you indeed continued the temperate Eugenia if so situated would not so have behaved you would not have been so unjust and you could not have been so weak but still if you had received however causelessly any alarm for the affection of the man you meant to marry with Edgar you would have been equally disturbed Camilla convinced yet shocked felt the flutter of her heart give a thousand hues to her face and walking to the window leaned far out to gasp for breath weigh the request more coolly and you cannot refuse a short compliance I am sure you would not make Indiana unhappy oh no not for the world cried she struggling to seem more reasonable yet how can she be otherwise if she imagines you have more of a notice and esteem of Edgar than herself Camilla now had not a word to say the subject drop she took up a book and by earnest internal remonstrances commanded herself to appear at tea time with tolerable serenity the evening was passed in spiritless conversation or in listening to the piano fort upon which Indiana with the utmost difficulty played some very easy lessons at night the following answer arrived from Dr. Marchmont to Edgar Mandelbeer Esquire Parsonage House Cleaves Friday night my dear friend I must be thankful in a moment of such enthusiasm that you can pay the attention of even recollecting those evils with which my zeal only has you think encompassed you I cannot insist upon the practice of caution which you deem unfounded but as you wage my answer I will once more open upon my sentiments and communicate my wishes it is now only I can speak them the instant you have informed the young lady of your own silences them forever your honor and her happiness become then entangled in each other and I know not which I would least willingly assail what in all men is base would to you I believe be impossible to trifle with such favor as may be the growth of your own undisguised partiality your present vehemence to ascertain the permanent possession of one you can see informed for your felicity obscures to your now absorbed faculties the thousand nameless but tenacious delicacies annexed by your species of character to your powers of enjoyment in two words then let me tell you what in a short time you will daily tell yourself you cannot be happy if not exclusively loved for you cannot excite you cannot bestow happiness by exclusivity I do not mean to the exclusion of other connections and regard far from it those who covet in a bride the oblivion of all former friendships all early affections weaken the finest ties of humanity and dissolve the first compact of unregistered but genuine integrity the husband who would rather rationally than with romance be loved himself should seek to cherish not obliterate the kind feelings of nature in its first expansions these where properly bestowed are the guarantees to that constant and respectable tenderness which a narrow and selfish jealousy rarely fails to convert into distaste and disgust the partiality which I mean you to ascertain injures not these prior claims I mean but a partiality exclusive of your situation in life and of all declaration of your passion a partiality in fine that is appropriate to yourself not to the rank in the world with which you may tempt her ambition nor to the blandishments of flattery which only soften the heart by intoxicating the understanding observe therefore if your general character and usual conduct strike her mind if her esteem is yours without the attraction of assiduity and adulation if your natural disposition and manners make your society grateful to her and your approbation desirable it is thus alone you can secure your own contentment for it is thus alone your reflecting mind can snatch from the time to come the dangerous surmises of a dubious retrospection remember you can always advance you can never in honor go back and believe me when I tell you that the mere simple avowal of preference which only ultimately binds the man is frequently what first captivates the woman if her mind is not previously occupied it operates with such seductive sway it so sooths so flatters so bewitches her self complacency that while she listens she imperceptively fancies she participates in sentiments which but the minute before occurred not even to her imagination and while her hand is the recompense of her own eulogy she is not herself aware if she has bestowed it where her esteem and regard unbiased by the eloquence of acknowledged admiration would have wished it sought or if it has simply been her own gratified vanity I now no longer urge your acquiescence my dear friend I merely entreat you twice to peruse what I have written and then leave you to act by the result of such perusal I remain your truly faithful and obliged Gabriel Marchmont Edgar ran through this letter with an impatience wholly foreign why? cried he will he thus obtrude upon me these fastidious doubts and causeless difficulties I begged but the restitution of my promise and he gives it to me in words that nearly annihilate my power of using it disappointed and displeased he hastily put it into his pocketbook resolving to see Camilla and commit the consequences of an interview to the impulses it might awaken when the sentence finishing with you cannot excite you cannot bestow happiness confusedly recurred to him if in that thought he I fail I am a stranger to it myself and a stranger forever and returning to his room he reopened the letter to look for the passage the sentence lost nothing by being read a second time he paused upon it dejectedly and presently reread the whole epistle he is not quite wrong cried he pensively there is nothing very unreasonable in what he urges true indeed it is that I can never be happy myself if her happiness is not entwined around my own the first blight thus born to that ardent glee with which the imagination rewards its own elevated speculations he yet a third time read the letter he is right I will investigate her sentiments and know what are my chances for her regard what I owe to real app probation and what merely to intimacy of situation I will postpone all explanation till my visit here expires and devote the probationary interval to an examination which shall obviate all danger of either deceiving my own reason or of beguiling her inconsiderate acceptance this settled he rejoiced in a mastery over his eagerness which he considered as complete since it would defer for no less than a week the declaration of his passion