 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia I ain't going to answer it probably one of your cronies one to chew the pack Blasted sister mine when she wants to be deep she's deep. All right, you ringing monster. I'll get you Yes, Tucker here. Mr. Tucker. This is Claudia Norton. Yes young woman. What be elin with you? Are you busy now, Mr. Tucker? Man of my activities is always busy man, but you need help. Well need advice. I've got time for you We really don't need either thanks, but David and I want to come over and talk to you right away I can tell be the sound of your voice. You've got something percolating spill the beans now ma'am spill them Surprise. We're not going to tell you till we see you. I ain't a man a great patience, ma'am Well, I ain't a girl a great patience either, Mr. Tucker, so we'll be right over. Oh, oh say, Mr. Tucker Yes, ma'am. David says to put on your hat and your overcoat and be ready to hit the road Where are we hitting it for ma'am? Oh, I can't tell you that, but we'll be over in five minutes. Goodbye Mrs. Norton. Mrs. Norton. That ain't like a woman These picky unileggs will carry me. What's all this hullabaloo, hey? Hey, Mr. Tucker. You're too young and you're screeching like a pack of biggles houndrafters Fallen deer. The Hutton season open? The Hutton season's open for us. Where are we heading for, neighbor? It's only four o'clock. Be my watch. What are you doing back so early from the city? Wait a minute. One question at a time, please. We're heading for Eastbrook Center number one Number two, I'm back in Eastbrook because my wife and I have come to a big decision You have, hey? Well, let a poor old man hear what the news is before he breaks in two with impatient... Just get in the car, Mr. Tucker, and you will find out Oh, you're stringing this thing out like them kids who blow bubblegum I ain't sitting foot onto this here automobile until you tell me where we're going and what we're going for He's being difficult All right, get in All right, son, when you use that tune on me, I know I'm licked All right, push over, darling. Come on, make room for Mr. Tucker I don't need much room. He just made me shrunk like a plucked chicken Can I tell him now, David? I'm bursting All right, go ahead, tell him Mr. Tucker, we are on our way to see Counselor Rupert Abel Hankins Counselor Hankins, eh? No Yeah, you know him? Know him, know him well. Rupert and me was brung up together Only he was brung up about 20 years later than me We met at first when he made the arrangements to sell your house to us He was my second taste of Connecticut You were my first Well, what are we driving down to see Counselor Hankins about? Ain't there something about that deed of your house? Well, what are you dragging me into it, Tucker? Take it easy, take it easy It has nothing to do with your house It has nothing to do with our deed And it has nothing to do with you Then it sounds to me like it ain't got much to do with anything Mr. Tucker, you remember when you were over at our house last night? Oh, sure I remember. I got the memory of an elephant Remember what you came over to tell us about? Ma'am, you were talking to me as if I was a spulin' baby Gang near lost my teeth on that one Come over to tell you about that landlain across the road from you Oh, it sure did break my heart when you said you didn't have the green dollars to buy it with Yeah, it broke our hearts too But I reconciled myself I'm a man of philosophy and strong will I went home and I reconciled myself See, David, we have neither strong will nor philosophy We didn't reconcile ourselves, Mr. Tucker I say to myself, if them two young nottons be strapped, they be strapped That's all there is to it Can't take money out of empty pockets One thing you can't do, no, no So I reconciled myself And any day now I'm expecting that land to be sold to some city folks Who'll turn the meadow land into swimming pools and the cornfields into golf courses David, aren't you glad we didn't reconcile ourselves? Aren't you delighted we have no philosophy and strong will? Are you beside yourself that we don't know when our pockets are empty and we're broke? Yes, sir, I revel in it Now, look here, where are we going? And what are all these smiles and giggles and rib-pussions going on? I told you that we're on our way to Counselor Hankins' office And it just so happens that Counselor Hankins is in charge of selling that piece of land across the road Well, everybody knows that, ma'am It was published in the Eastbrook town crier How that Hankins' horn swoggles himself into getting any business I'll never know Never Mr. Tucker, can't you imagine why we were going to see Counselor Hankins? Well, if I could, ma'am, I wouldn't be asking you questions point blank, would I? Well, answer him point blank Well, seeing as I'm not the man you are, Mr. Tucker I couldn't sleep all night And seeing David is the kind of man that I'm not, Mr. Tucker He couldn't sleep all night either So we both woke up this morning thinking we just had to have that land Hey So, when David was in New York today, he saw his brother and they made some kind of arrangement You know, man, about stocks in the bank and their father's estate or something or other Who cares about the details because David came home all of a sudden at three o'clock And Mr. Tucker, we are going to buy it You, you, you youngins going to buy that land across the road? Yes, sir, you heard the young woman, Mr. Tucker It's going to be ours Well, I'll be it Well, then someday there will be a herd of cows, gracing in them pastures And tall green corn reaching to the sky You better boots Sure, I'm proud of you, youngins I got the wisdom that took me nigh on 86 years to fetch up to You're putting your money into land And I'm proud to know you Oh, David, drive faster I think I'm going to weep I'm pretty excited myself This is like a crazy dream I don't know what I'm doing here I'm sure, honored you brought me along Come on in, sir Go ahead, darling Hello, Mr. Hankins Well, thank you, Norton Hello, you old scarecrow You addressing me, Rupert neighbor, Hankins? Ain't talking to myself, Jared Tucker If you ever grow old enough to be an old scarecrow, Mr. Hankins It'll be over my dead body There say it will be, there say it will be We'll set you down all of you There'll be enough chairs around You having some sort of trouble, Queenie? No, no, everything's fine between us, Mr. Hankins Well, that's remarkable When I see folks doing business with Jared Tucker I'm always expecting lawsuits, litigations Claims for irreparable damage And other infringements, a human relation Well, it's nothing like that Ashing the jokes on you, Rupert I'm here just as a spectator, Councillor Hankins So start the performance, Mr. Norton I'm a chin-litchin' Councillor Hankins, I understand that you're in charge Of the sale of that property on River Road Directly across from our farm Yeah, that's right Fifty-one and a quarter acres belonging to Ned Mills Or rather, belonging to the estate of Ned Mills Fifty-one and a quarter acres Fifty-one and a quarter acres of good Connecticut land Bounded on the north by Jared Tucker's property Bounded on the east by the Norton property Bounded on the south by the Matthew Warren property And bounded on the west by the County line Deeds all cleared Well, it's exactly about that That we have come to speak to you about I see Cigar? No, thanks, I have my plan I wouldn't mind having Cigar, Councillor Hankins Ain't Cigars a bit strong for you, Jared Tucker How's that? Ain't got a mind to see you coughing up your strength But they say you're old enough to know what you're doing Have a Cigar Just for that, Rupert Hankins, I'll have two Cigarette, Mrs. Norton Oh, no, thanks, I don't smoke My daddy always felt women oughtn't smoke Councillor Hankins, it's very pleasant to sit around And chat with you, but what about that land? Well, you know all about it You probably know more about it than most other folks Seeing you can lean out your window And feast your eyes on it David, I can't stand the suspense Tell him right out Strange ain't it that Ned Mills Never built a house on that property Hardly ever set foot on it Heard tell some strange stories about How the day his grandfather staked out that peace ground He had a seizure and rolled over and died Ain't true Ain't a member of Ned Mills' family That set foot on that ground since Well, I don't believe in superstitions Do you, David? Ah, nonsense I don't see why we're here Listening to Councillor Hankins talk, talk, talk Let these young ones do their business, Rupert Or you'll be having to do with me Ain't into faring, just waiting Filling the time with a spot of local color Mr. Hankins, we've come here today Because we want to buy that land There, you said it Yeah, I figured that one out about five minutes ago, son I have an approximate idea of just about How much it's selling by the acre And if you could give me the exact amount I think we could draw up a contract of sale and And we can settle a deal right now Easier said than done, Mr. Norton Easier said than done But why? You said the deed was clear I thought that settled everything You're going to make it complicated, Mr. Hankins Just so you can collect a bigger fee for the transaction I ain't going to let you do it I ain't going to let you rook them out of one honest shent You need a lawyer to deal with a lawyer, I always say Hush up, Jared Tucker, hush up We have the cash, Mr. Hankins We're all ready from what you said The property was in the clear And we could just purchase it right off It was in the clear, son Boundaries chalked off, no claims Deed fits a fiddle Well, then what's the stoppers? Taint mine to sell What, Chad? What? It was mine to sell But taint mine to sell no more Make yourself plain, Rupert You sold the land You what? Yep, drew up a contract Drew up a contract sale not more than an hour ago Never knew there'd be such a rush on the property I would've asked more money for it if I'd known But sold the land not more than an hour ago You sold all of it? That's what I did Every square acre of it You ain't just saying that To make us wet our lips all the more, are you? I ain't that shrewd, Tucker You're the kind of man that would do that I ain't that shrewd No, no So it's sold To anybody we know? Sold to a city man I can't divulge him, but Yep, he's all squared away Sure would like better to sold it to you But, yeah, it would've been Kind of like keeping it in the family But lawyers no choosers that land sold No Well, I guess that takes care of that If I ever find out this scallywag of a lawyer's Rooked us well, I just better never find out That's all I just never better had I wonder who bought it No, what's the difference? Yeah, I guess so We really couldn't afford it anyway Well, come on, darling Let's go home You know what? I think we got that land very cheap, David We got? What do you mean? Exactly Didn't cost us a cent We saved hundreds of dollars And it's ours In a way, just deciding that we should buy it David, in spite of everything, I think that makes it Our land Whatever you do, wherever you may be When you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola For Coca-Cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere