 The narcissist hates to see you happy. They hate to see you feeling pleasure or contentment. They hate to see you experiencing something unfortunate or convenient. They hate to see you enjoying a condition or situation. They hate to see you in a happy mood. It irritates them. It makes them annoyed or it may even make them angry because their happiness isn't like that. Because they can't go through life in the way that you do. They can't be at peace with themselves. They can't enjoy life just as it is. For a narcissist to be happy, everything has to be perfect. It has to have all of their required and desirable elements, qualities and characteristics. It has to be completely free from faults or defects. Or they have to be able to exist in their fantasy world inside their heads. Where they can't see anything less than perfect. Which usually happens when they first experience a new person, place or object. But it doesn't last for long. They get a high initially thinking that they've struck gold. But then they soon realise that this is a perfect either. They can often see things in their past as being perfect too. Even if it didn't seem perfect at the time. They can re-idealise things. Especially if they no longer have access to them. They can see it as better than it actually was. Because like anyone else, the narcissist wants to feel good. But they know that they're never going to feel good by experiencing reality. So they have to enter this fantasy world inside their heads. Where everything is ideal. But this never manifests into reality. They never find what they were actually looking for. Because even if it did manifest into reality. The narcissist wouldn't be able to see it. They wouldn't be able to experience it. Because in their minds, reality is flawed. Reality is full of faults or defects. Reality could never live up to their standards and expectations. So the narcissist can never experience real happiness. Their happiness comes from living vicariously for other people. And meditating on unrealistic ideals. Things that are exaggerated. Things that have no basis in reality. And that's what makes them happy. But as soon as you mention anything to do with reality. Anything to do with limitations or restrictions. Anything that involves considering other people's needs. It bursts their bubble. It destroys their impractical and illusory ideas. And this can often cause a narcissistic injury. Because it brings them back to reality. Narcissists do not want to deal with the truth and reality of the situation. They want a fantasy. They're emotionally immature. They would rather engage in imagining possible or improbable things. Than to work on anything that's actually happening in real life. But whenever you hold them responsible for something. It brings them back to reality. It reminds them that they are not perfect. And every time they come back to reality. They cannot be happy. Because they see things in black or white. Everything is either good or bad. Perfect or flawed. There is no in between. The narcissist hates to see you happy. Because they cannot be happy. There is always something going on with them. There is always something that's not good enough. They always feel like they need more. There's always something they want or need. They can never be satisfied with anything they have. They can never be grateful. And yet they see that you're happy. With a fraction of what they have. Which makes them really mad. Because it tells them there must be something wrong with them. If you could be happy with much less. Then why can't they be happy with what they have? Why are they not satisfied? But no narcissist wants to entertain the thought or idea. That maybe they are the problem. Which is why they will do whatever it takes to destroy your happiness. Your happiness is proof to them. That they are the problem. If you're happy and then not. That must mean there's something wrong with them. So they will start arguing to disagreements. They will provoke you to react to them. They will sabotage whatever you're doing. Whatever it takes to make you miserable just like them. Because they can't stand to see you happy. They can't stand to see you get what you want. Because they know that they're never going to be satisfied. They know that they're never going to be good enough for them. And seeing you happy even with less than what they have. Just becomes a reminder to them there is something wrong with them. It has an effect on their image and reputation. People may begin to see everything that you're doing for them. It makes them wonder why the narcissist still isn't happy with you. And that is why the narcissist will play the victim. They will act to show you're doing everything wrong. Or what you're doing isn't good enough. They'll act like you need to do more. When deep down they know that something's not right. They know that they should be happy. They understand that anyone else in their situation will be satisfied with what you're doing. But they will never tell you this. They will act like you're no good. Because if they were to accept that what you're doing is more than enough. Then they should be happy. But they're not happy. So that would reveal that they are the problem. The narcissist and their image and reputation. They can't have people thinking that they're at fault. And that is why they have to manage your emotional state. That is why they have to use you to regulate their emotions. Because your happiness is just a reminder to them that they cannot be happy. The narcissist will never be happy with you. But you need to be happy with yourself. It is not your job to make the narcissist happy. The narcissist would love for you to hold yourself responsible for their feelings. But you need to worry about how you feel. Because the narcissist is never going to take your feelings into consideration. Your happiness may hurt the narcissist. But that doesn't mean you should live a miserable life. That doesn't mean you should have to tone yourself down. If you have been with a narcissist. You have suffered enough. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have everything you want in life. The narcissist takes away your time, energy and money. But just don't let them take away your happiness. Don't let them take away your smile, your laughter. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Not endured. You didn't come here to be miserable. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications of my future videos. Check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurvival.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, upload coaching sessions and join a support forum. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching queries you can email me at coaching at narcsurvival.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.