 Do this to make the narcissist obsessed with you. Narcissists are obsessive people. They are impulsive and all-consuming and they are also very negative because they have a fragile ego. They have a fragile sense of self-esteem and self-importance because of something that happened in their childhood. So they lack confidence in themselves but they try to cover that. They try to act like there's something better. They create an illusion and they do that by mirroring other people. By always trying to be better than you. They're very competitive but when they first targeted you they made you feel good about yourself. They made you feel like they're your soulmate but all they're really doing is reflecting you back to you because they want you to give them attention. They want you to give them validation. So they put in all of this effort to secure you but once they've got you they don't want you. They don't want someone who wants them. They don't want someone who is interested in them which is why as soon as they know they've got you they will begin to seek other sources of supply. They will look for validation from other people because they never really wanted you. They just wanted attention. They wanted someone to comply with them. They wanted someone to agree with them but when you like them they get bored. They lack interest in you. They no longer put any effort into you but when you take your attention away from them they're unable to deal with it because they thought you liked them and they don't want that to change. They're not interested in having a relationship. They just want constant attention and admiration. In the narcissist's childhood their parent or caregiver initially gave them a lot of attention. They loved bomb the narcissist as a child but then at some point they took their attention away. They neglected the child. So this is all the narcissist knows. They don't know anything else. So all they can do is act out these past events. They can only repeat the actions of events or incidents that happened in their past and this is something that is never going to change. They don't want it to change or they want from you a supply. They want your attention. They want you to make them feel like they're special and important, attractive and desirable which is why when you go no contact with the narcissist they can't deal with it. They will do anything they can to get it back. The narcissist only gets bored of you. You give them what they want because once they have it they no longer desire it. They have these insatiable desires. Once they get what they want they're always looking for more because they don't want a relationship. They want attention from multiple people which is why you will never get the relationship that you want from the narcissist. They're never going to be the person that you want them to be. They're never going to be the person they showed you in the beginning. They're never going to change and it leaves you chasing after them. It leaves you trying to change them which is exactly what they want but they don't want a relationship. They just want you to tell them they're amazing. They want you to make them feel good about themselves and they never want it to end but they don't want it to develop into a healthy relationship because that wouldn't benefit them in any way. They have no desire to bring anything to you. They have no desire to build you up because narcissists only care about themselves and that wouldn't benefit them in any way. They've already got what they wanted from you. No one has ever received real love or respect from your narcissist and no one has ever had a healthy relationship with them. There is nothing you can do to save or rescue them. You can't teach them to be different. You can't help them because they already know what they're doing and they're quite comfortable with how things are. They're quite comfortable laying in their own filth. They have no desire to change anything. You can't give them feelings they don't already have because they don't understand positive feelings. They don't understand love, loyalty or commitment because they never learned it from their parent or caregiver. It was never taught to them in childhood and there's no incentive for them to change. They've learned that doing this gets them what they want. So why would they change? If something is making you feel good about yourself why would you stop doing it? But if you withhold your attention from the narcissist this will make them step up their game because they can't live without attention. But it has nothing to do with you. It's still all about them. They will never obsess over you as a person. The only thing they will obsess over is your lack of attention because they see it as a threat to their control which may even cause them to lash out at you because they believe that they're the ones who are meant to control you they're not meant to be controlled by you so if you threaten their control they may try to hurt you. They may try to hurt you. They may do something you don't want. If you are dealing with a narcissist you should not want them to obsess over you. You should want them to not want you because the narcissist is never going to surrender to you they're never going to submit. They will raise to reject control. So you would be trying to make them do something that they're not wired to do which means that it is inevitably going to fail. The narcissist is only going to obsess over you if they choose to obsess over you. Narcissists are very manipulative. They manipulate their targets. Their targets do not manipulate them. It's not designed to work that way. They're the predator and you are their prey the other way around. Which is why you're watching this video because you're trying to learn how to control the narcissist. You're trying to change their inherent features, character and qualities. You're fighting against nature and nature is always going to win. You cannot be the narcissist and the narcissist cannot be you. By default you're going to become obsessed with them. And they're going to neglect you. They're the predator and you're their prey. They're the narcissist and you are their victim. They're not going to become consistently obsessed with you unless they choose to. But even then they're just going to obsess over your lack of attention. They're not going to obsess over you. There's no reason for them to do that if they don't need anything from you. They don't care about love or commitment. That doesn't mean anything to them. The narcissist is only going to obsess over things that they can obtain from you. They're not going to be thinking about you. You may think that they're thinking about you but they're too busy entertaining some other fantasy in their heads. They're thinking about something that is unattainable. You're not that important to the narcissist. No one is important to the narcissist and no one will ever be. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching.narchsurviver.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.