 J-P-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with everything's in rhythm with my heart. When you were a youngster, did you ever go out and pick a pail full of fresh wild strawberries? If you did, you remember that wonderful fragrance, so tempting and delicious. Well, open a package of strawberry Jell-O and smell the fragrance that rises from that. You'll be amazed at this immediate proof of Jell-O's extra-rich fruit flavor. Then dissolve it in hot water and enjoy the delightful aroma again. And for your final proof of Jell-O's rich goodness, taste it. Extra-rich, crammed with fruit flavor. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. All six tastes so refreshing, so delicious, they rival the real ripe fruit itself. For that wonderful flavor is put into Jell-O by a special process, which seals it there so that it can't get out. It's caught and held for you to enjoy in dozens of grand desserts and salads. Just be sure you get genuine Jell-O and don't accept any substitutes. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. It's in rhythm with my heart played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, as is customary every Sunday at this time, we bring you a man who, uh, a man who, uh, say, Phil, where's Jack? I don't know. I didn't see him. He came in with Rochester a few minutes ago. I think they're in a little studio next door. Yes, he's in there rehearsing a scene for his new picture, and he's got Rochester reading Joan Bennet's part. Rochester reading Joan Bennet's part? How do you know? I peeked over the transom. That's fine. You used my shoulders to stand on, didn't even tell me. I'd like to get a load of that. Let's open the door and listen. Okay. There they are now. Quiet, everybody. Gee, I hope I don't sneeze. Listen. Well, Mr. Benny, how am I doing? Now, Rochester, you're not giving me anything. How can I be romantic if you don't put feeling into your lines? Now, when you read, when you read Miss Bennet's part, for goodness' sake, get into the mood of it. Mood? I did everything but kiss you. Now, look, Rochester, all I want you to do is read those lines with a little punch. I want to be good and it's your job to help me. You always find a job for me. I am a. I started out driving your car, and now I'm your leading lady. You're not my leading lady. You're just helping me out, so when I go to rehearsal, I won't make a chump out of myself. Now, let's continue. Okay, is this the scene where we're on a honeymoon? No. Now, we're not even married yet. You mean we're still in the platonic stage? That's it. Now, here's the situation, Rochester. It is a warm summer afternoon. You're in the garden surrounded by poppies, roses, and gladiolas. Yeah? Yeah, birds are twinning in the branches of the weeping willow trees. Yeah. Little bees are fitting from blossom to blossom, droning a soft, soothing lullaby. Yeah. Butterflies are floating through the sweet, scented air. All is peaceful in the garden. Rochester, wake up. Rochester. Yes, sir. You'll please do me a favor and not fall asleep until my picture comes out. Now, let's take the scene again. You're by the garden wall picking rose buds. All of a sudden, you hear a sound. I leap over the wall, and there I am beside you. Now, I'll use this chair for the wall. I wouldn't jump over that if I was you. Don't worry about me. If you want to know something, I was the champion high jumper of Walkiegan High School. You had arches then. Never mind that. Now, this chair is still the wall. All right, let's go. Now, start picking flowers. Okay, I'm picking them. And you're singing. See, that's how I know you're in the garden. Now, here's the song right here. Go ahead. Well, go on. Love your magic spell is here. Oh, I feel silly doing this. Now, Rochester, it's only to help me out. Now, take it again. Okay. Good. Love your magic spell is here. Oh, Vivian. Vivian, are you alone? Yes, Conrad, my sweet. And I will leap over this wall and join you. Here I come, Vivian. Good, Major. Just pick me up and no comments. I would have to have my fountain pen and my hip pocket. Now, let's go on from there. Quiet, Mary. This ought to be good. Good. It'll be better than the picture. Oh, boy. Quiet, Cammy. Now, come on, Rochester. Let's get this. Vivian, my darling, I knew you'd be waiting. I'd be waiting forever, Conrad. You're the answer to a mad man's prayer. That's a maiden's prayer. Oh, Vivian, you're so beautiful. You're like a fragile little flower with your dimpled cheeks and golden hair. My what? Your golden hair and don't interrupt. Park, I hear someone talking. It must be your father. Who's that behind Yon Magnolia Tree? It's such a big dope. Who? Yes, it's us. So you guys were eavesdropping, eh? Oh, I'm sorry, Jack, but we were looking all over for you. Well, I was just rehearsing a scene for my picture, and Rochester was helping me. You know, we start shooting pretty soon. See, you're going to be swelling it, Jack. Thanks, Kenny. Do you think so? Yeah, Rochester, too. Kenny, Rochester isn't going to be in it. He was just reading Joan Bennett's lines. Whose lines were you reading? My own. I play the part of Conrad Bagel, a dashing... a dashing young playboy. Well, he didn't seem very convincing or romantic. Well, naturally, I was just rehearsing. I can't be romantic working opposite Rochester. You cropped my style, too. All right, let's call it a draw. Say, Jack, are you really going to jump over that wall? It'll be a little tough for you, won't it? Oh, no, Don, jumping over a wall is very easy in pictures. You see, it's all done with wires. They hook a wire to the seat of my pants. And then when I say, here I come, Vivian, they yank me up and I fly right over the wall into the garden. Oh, it looks so natural. Wouldn't it be funny if just your pants came over the wall? Yeah, it sure would. It would be funny if you came over just ahead of your pants. Well, let's not get involved in this. If the worst comes to the worst, they can shoot me out of a cannon. Out of a cannon? Yes. They had a cannon at Paramount that had shot you a long time ago. Yes, so. I doubt that very much. Do you need me any more, boss? Yes, stick around, Rochester. You're going to be in our play later on. I am? Yes, so go over in the corner and sit down until we're ready for you. Okay, see you later, Conrad. The things I do for Paramount. This is an orchestra playing You Couldn't Be Cuter. And now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the Benny Greek Theatre players will present the second episode of Mark Twain and David O. Selznick's story and production of the adventures of Tom Sawyer. Once again, I will play the part of Tom Sawyer, that symbol of American youth. And, Mary, again this week, you're going to be little Becky Thatcher, my sweetheart. Remember that kiss I gave you last Sunday? No. You don't remember? Why, Mary, I kissed you right smack on your lips. Well, I've been around a lot since then. Oh, stop bragging. Now, Phil Harris. Now, Phil Harris will be my half-brother, Sid Sawyer, a sissy if there ever was one. Why don't we change parts tonight, Jack, and let me be Tom Sawyer? Definitely not. See, Phil, I was talking to Norman Toro, the big director. You know, he's the man who directed the picture. Well, he listened in last Sunday night, and I wish you could have heard what he said about my performance. Uh, tell him what he said, Jack. Oh, what does he know? He's in pictures. This is great. Hmm, those directors think they know everything. No kidding, Mary, what did he say? Well, it wasn't so much what he said. It was the way he kicked, Jack. Kick me? Huh. I could hardly feel it. Say, Jack. What, Kenny? When a big director kicks you, does he say action first? No, Kenny, it comes as a pleasant surprise. Now, let's go on with the casting. The part of the principal of the school, Mrs. Newton, will be played by that well-known actress, Miss Marlene D. Truff. Are you here, Miss, uh, are you here, Miss D. Truff? Here I am, Mr. Benny. Now, uh, you had quite a bit of experience in pictures, haven't you? Yes, I have. Well, tell me, what was your last starring role? I was awful in The Awful Truth. Oh, you were. That's funny, Jack, have the same part in Artisan Models. Mary. By the way, Miss D. Truff, didn't I see you in Old Chicago? Yeah, I used to live near the stockyards. I thought so, huh? Well, you do. Now, let's see, there's Huckleberry Finn. Where's Andy? Say, is the mayor of Van Nuys here yet? Here I am, Buck. Well, hello, Your Honor. How's everything in Van Nuys? Have you made any changes in the town? Yeah, Buck, I passed a new curfew law last week. A curfew law? What is it? All bulls have got to be home and in bed by 10 o'clock. Oh, you're on the reform ticket, huh? Well, how does your own bull feel about it? You mean Casanova? Yeah. He's trying to get me impeached. Well, I don't blame him. Say, Andy, have you made any new appointments since you've been elected mayor? Yes, Buck, I made my paw head at the Department of Sanitation. You did? Well, what was his first move? He took a bath. Oh, so you finally got him in a tub, eh? Yeah, and say, Buck, you know, that long beard that paw had? Yeah. That wasn't a beard at all. It was just hay and dust. Well, I'll be Joe Gold. Say, did Don Wilson tell you that I made him chief of a police out there? No kidding. Is that right, Don? Yes, Jack, I'm the law in Van Nuys, and there hasn't been a single crime since I was put in office. Is that so? Were there any other... were there any crimes in Van Nuys before then? I'll say there was an awful wave of jaywalking. There was. How did you stop a chief? Well, I just put signs on every corner. Look for the big red lights to change. Oh, oh. And if they don't wait, I sent them to six delicious days in jail with nothing to eat but bread and jello. Say, that's not bad. How did it work out? The jail's full. We've got standing room only. Well, so much for law, order, and dessert. And now that Mayor Huckleberry Finn is here, our play will go on right after Kenny's song. Oh, wait a minute, Jack. Who's going to be Mr. Dobbins, the school teacher? Well, Don, I tried out several actors to play that part, but none of them seemed to suit me. I don't know. They just couldn't seem to get the feel of it. I mean, they were too... Well, they were too... Too expensive. We know. It wasn't a question of money. They just couldn't do it. Anyway, I will solve the problem by playing a double role, that of Tom Sawyer and Mr. Dobbins, the school teacher. So go into your song, Kenny, while I get into the mood for my double part. Okay. Wait a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? Are you going to play two roles tonight? Yes, I am. Well, we ought to get together. Who are you anyway? Just a frank footer. Goodbye. On the stage, by the moon, he's letting in the meadows of the street. By the moon... The picture of the Texan. Say, Kenny, that number was written by Robin and Ranger, the two boys who wrote Love and Bloom and thanks for the memory, wasn't it? Yes, but they told me not to tell you. Oh, okay. Well, I'll play it anyway. And now, folks, for chapter two in the Adventures of Tom Sawyer. As you may remember last Sunday, we finished episode one with Tom Sawyer on his way to school. Now, does he get there? Let us see. Take it, Phil. Come again with us to the sleepy river town of St. Petersburg, Missouri. We take you to the little red schoolhouse on the corner of Maine and Vermont. Ah, folks, that little red schoolhouse with its rusty old pump in the front yard and the lilac bush in the back. It's a bright Monday morning and school is about to begin. Curtain, music. We will start the day with our usual morning greetings. One, two, three. Good morning to you. Good morning to you. Good morning, dear teacher. Children, please. I will now call the roll. Puttin' head, Wilson. Here, teacher. Becky Thatcher. Here I am, Mr. Dobbins. Sydney Baker. Here, teacher. Guinea Baker, rather. Here, teacher. And here's a big red apple for you. Thanks, Guinea. That's very nice of you. It is not. There's a worm in it. Oh, yes. Sylvester Worm. Present teacher. Hmm. Huckleberry Finn. Mr. Chairman, fellow citizens and taxpayers, I am here. Sit down, Mayor, before I give you a recount with this ruler. Scarlett O'Hara. I'm here. Scarlett Nohara. Right here, teacher. Imagine in the third grade, and already he's in the market for a toupee. How old are you, young man? Seven, going on 35. Well, the least you can do is plant some geraniums on that head. Rochester Van Jones. Rochester, why don't you answer me? I was brilliant. Not in school. Sidney Sawyer. Here I am, teacher, and I know all my lessons like anything. I'm sure you do, Sidney, and you have the highest marks of anyone in the class. That's cause he won't bend over. Quiet, Becky, or you will. Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer. Sidney, where's your brother, Tom? He's playing hooky, teacher. That's what he's doing. Sidney is a dad. Sidney is a dad, old tail. Sidney, you stay out of it. Now for our morning exercises. Stand up, kitties. Now everybody close your eyes and hold your hands up over your heads. Oh no, you'll pick our pockets. I will not. Now hands over heads. Now lean back a little further. Back, back, back. Now get up, you little brats. That'll keep you. Now first we will take up our history lesson. Puttin' head Wilson. Yes, teacher. Who was the first president of the United States? George Washington. That's correct. George Washington. Now Skinny Baker, tell me. What was the name of his wife? George Washington's wife? Yes. Well. Come on now, come. Come on, I'll give you a hint. Martha. Martha. Ray. Martha Ray. Now wait a minute, that's silly. So we'll skip it. Now Sidney, tell me, what great invention is Eli Whitney noted for? The cotton gin. The cotton gin, that's very good. Even better without the cotton. I think so, yes. Now Becky Thatcher, stand up. Yes, teacher. Who was Captain John Smith? He was an early American settler. Right. And when he was going to be executed, what beautiful Indian girl saved his life? Pakya Cockat. That's Pakya Cockat. But you were close. Now Skinny Baker. Skinny Baker. Yes, teacher. Tell me, who discovered America? Wouldn't you be surprised if I said Columbus? Oh, so you know it. I know more than that, you old goat face. Goat face, you're lucky I'm deaf. Now Becky Thatcher. Yes. Columbus discovered America. Now what are the names of the three ships he sailed with? The Pinter. Yes. The Nina. Yes. And the Albany Nightboat. The Albany Nightboat. Columbus never traveled on the Albany Nightboat. Sure miss something. You said it. And now children, we will take up physiology. Physiology what Stan? I don't know. Let's make it arithmetic. Now children. I don't know my arithmetic. Let's make it spelling. No, I got a good idea. Let's make it geography. Oh, I got a better idea. Let's burn down the school house. Now first we must have our geography. Sylvester Worm. Yes, teacher. Can you tell me, how many countries there are in Europe? Yes, I can, teacher. Well, then name them. There's England, France, Belgium, Salad Prophecy, L'Horses de Missin, There is Salad Corp. A Genesis in the Father Tennessee, Real Jean-Claude Dintedin, Sarpid Volubates, and Czechoslovakia. Very good. And what are the principal industries of Czechoslovakia? Salad Prophecy and Plump Raising. Plump Raising, Plump. Oh, I thought you said Trousfans. Now Rochester. Yes, boss. Can you name the seven wonders of the world? Yes, sir. What are they? The stinks, the pyramids, the hanging gardens, and poor pork chops. Rochester pork chops are not included among the seven wonders of the world. I guess you ain't never seen a Harlem Geography. I guess not. Now Huckleberry Finn. Huckleberry Finn, stand up. Yes, teacher. Tell me, what is the capital of California? Bama. It is not. Stop plugging your hometown. Sydney Sawyer, what is the capital of the United States? Waukegan. Right. Wait a minute, teacher. Shut up. We'll now take up zoology. Huckleberry Finn, what animal is it that crawls around like a lizard, has red eyes, a long pointed nose, and a yellow streak down its back? Red Allen. Right. Red Allen. Now what is an outstanding characteristic of this peculiar animal? It hangs by its tail and chills the back of it. Correct. Now Becky Thatcher, tell me, what does this odd beast do for exercise? It always walks up three slices of stairs when it buys a suit. I see. And will this queer specimen rack its brains out so it will drool a feeble retort next Wednesday night? Yes. Bravo, children. And now, kitty, since you've all studied your lessons so carefully, I have a little surprise. Our principal, Mrs. Newton, has an important announcement to make for you. Oh, Mrs. Newton, will you come in, please? I'm right here, Mr. Dobbins. Now, my little men and women, I have a very lovely surprise for you. What is it, Mrs. Newton? Next Sunday, we are all growing on a picnic at the Old Indian Cove. Green and cake and sandwiches for all. Now don't forget, will you? Thank you, Mrs. Newton. So children, be good little boys and girls and you can all go on the picnic. Oh, teacher, teacher, look, here comes my brother Tom. Look, he's trying to sneak in. Oh, I see him. Tom, Tom Sawyer, come here. Tom Sawyer, come here this minute. You played hooky for the last time and I'm going to give you a good thrashing. You got to catch me first, you old grungian. There he goes through the window. And here I go after him. I'll catch me, the little scallywag. Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer, Tom. This will be continued next Sunday night. Will Jack catch Jack? Will the class go on their picnic? Will Vivian marry Conrad? Tune in next Sunday night and find out. Play, Phil. Here's a picture for you. Fried yellow saucers heaped up with generous mounds of rich, smooth, delicious vanilla ice cream. Ice cream with that marvelous homemade goodness. And here's the way to make it. Use jello freezing mix and you'll turn out the grandest vanilla ice cream that any family ever cheered for. A smooth, lovely texture, a luscious, rich vanilla flavor. For jello freezing mix, use this real vanilla. No artificial flavoring. And that's why your vanilla ice cream tastes so good. But flavor's only part of the story. Jello freezing mix is amazingly quick and easy to prepare. And all you do is open the can, add milk and some whipped cream, and pour right into your freezing tray. You get six servings from one can of jello freezing mix and what ice cream. Creamy, mellow, and beautifully smooth. When you've tried that rich vanilla, try the other flavors, too. Maple walnut, chocolate, and fruit flavors that are real fruits in their own sweetened juices. Tooty fruity, strawberry, and orange pineapple. Six luscious flavors in all. So for a swell dessert tomorrow night, serve homemade ice cream and make it with jello freezing mix. This is the last number of the 35th program in the new Jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. We will bring you the third and final chapter in the adventures of Tom Sawyer. So be sure to listen in and hear the exciting episode in the cave. Yes. What thrills? What echoes? I don't know. What echoes? Oh, good night, folks. Thank you. All right. Make your prayers on the Jello program for courtesy of Mervyn Roy Productions. The tune you couldn't be cuter from the drive living as the competition's drawn turn. This is an ice cream broadcast and covered.