 When the narcissist Realizes life Sucks without you. I don't know many of you. You clicked on this video Isn't it exactly? What you want to hear? Isn't it exactly? What you want them to say When they come back if they come back you'd love for them to tell you that life sucks Without you You'd love for them to come back and say that to you Many of you who are still attached to the narcissist and you Decide to be with them In a relationship Maybe you wanted a future with them a relationship marriage children whatever it is You wanted that and And You didn't get that from them What you got instead was lies abuse manipulation and deception Well, some of you if you were unfortunate enough in actuality You did have some kind of future with them lasted for a certain amount of time and Maybe you did marry them. Maybe you did have children with them And that just made matters even worse Although it might have seemed okay in the beginning didn't last for long didn't it and Yeah, they went off they left you behind After they abused you They discarded you and you'd like to think That maybe they didn't move on to a better situation Maybe they're still thinking about you, but they never really think that life Sucks without you. They don't think like that because they're looking at it as though They are better than you And they really believe it they see themselves as Perfect for self They're always right. You're always wrong You're the one who is defective and flawed You're the one who needs them Even though in reality, it is actually them who needs you more than you need them Although at the time you don't realize it until you find my videos and then it starts to make sense But yes, they tried to get you attached to them in this trauma bond to where you can't move on To where you're just hoping wishing They will come back and make everything okay for you, but they won't They do come back. It's only to use you. It's not because they love you or miss you or care about you It's only to get something from you and that's all that it is But that doesn't mean that they do Move on and become happy with someone else. No That never happens for them They don't do that and the reason why As you've already witnessed they clearly lack empathy and in any relationship, this is the most important trait that you need to have if you want to establish and a connection with someone You need to be able to understand and share their feelings and experience Which is how you should already know if they couldn't understand you or share your experience How are they going to understand someone else? because naturally Whether it's a friendship relationship co-worker boss, whatever it is Arguments and disagreements do come up. There will always be conflict And you need to know how to resolve that conflict how to handle it without Becoming over-emotional without getting aggressive and wanting to Attack the other person whether it's physically or verbally you need to know how to control yourself You need to have discipline and self-control which are another two traits that they don't have Which of course Is going to pose even more problems for them in their next relationship These three things empathy discipline and self-control Without these three things you're not going to get very far in life things are going to fall apart unless you're surrounded by co-dependent or enablers and Typically, yes, that is what they are looking for and what they will find They are Yeah, those are the types of people that they're going to find And those types of people will be doormats fools Emotional tampons emotional punching bags whatever you want to call them, but it's never going to be a Real connection level intimacy the things that you desired from them. They're never going to have that with someone else Because as I said, they like empathy discipline and self-control And without those three things they're not going to get very far they're just going to end up Manipulating and using people Because they're missing that key ingredient to a relationship which is empathy So by default all they can do is manipulate and use people and Yes, unfortunately It may be good people like yourself People who are kind and generous Eventually at some point they're going to wake up. They're going to have enough They're gonna get fed up of it and then they're gonna walk away They're gonna try to move on just like you should be doing now Once you realize that the disorder is maladaptive Cannot change They will remain the same for the rest of their lives But I know many of you many of you you have these fantasies in your head You're thinking to yourself You may even be having dreams about them You imagined them Maybe they call you on the phone they message you they ring your doorbell. They knock on the door whatever they do And then they're there. They're sorry They just want to make you happy they want to make things right and that's It's when you should know that you need to wake up You need to start to realize that that is never going to happen Sometimes yes, they may come back with fake apologies false epiphanies And all of these lies and stories and future faking And all of these other things that you may want to hear Because they know that's what you want to hear But when they come back with that and you fall for it You're just being lured into another trap Because that's all they're going to do is tempt and entice you they're never going to give you that for real No matter how bad you may want it You may be dreaming about it, but it's never going to be a reality They never will be Not with them with someone who has The three traits As I mentioned Which are empathy Discipline and self-control Yeah, you've got a good chance with someone like that. Yes, of course Because someone with those three traits That's going to be someone who is Loyal honest and trustworthy Someone who you you can cooperate with Someone who won't let you down And that is the type of person that you should admire and respect And you should strive to be like that yourself because You need to be a Reflection Of what you want to attract in your life you can't just make a list of these qualities and traits that you desire in another person If you're not already that yourself You will only get a reflection of who you are being So if you want someone who Is loyal honest and trustworthy Someone who has strong empathy and they display Discipline and self-control If you want someone like that if you want to build a healthy family dynamic And You want a future with someone you want a relationship marriage children, whatever it is you want all of these things You need to become a reflection of that first otherwise I can promise you you will never Never have it And that is a fact that is the truth If you don't become what you seek You will only become what you are and you will enter One dysfunctional relationship after another and you will never be happy or satisfied with them I can promise you that which is why I say all the time in my videos you need to heal you need to go within yourself and Anything that makes you feel a certain way. It doesn't matter what it is It could be something that has nothing to do with the narcissist or your relationship Anything That really gets to you. It upsets you That is some form of trauma And when you feel those emotions That are being channeled to you From this trauma You must not fight it You must not push it away If you want to develop a healthy and functional relationship in the future You must invite it in welcome it Develop an awareness of it feel it process it And then you don't have to hold on to it. You can let it go And that's really getting a nutshell that is how you heal These things that are bothering you And you will know when you have processed the trauma and the emotions because When you're presented with it again It doesn't bother you as much It doesn't affect you anymore That's how you know that you have healed That's how you know that you have processed it and you have moved on That's how you know that But narcissist Nope They don't ever realize that life sucks without you It doesn't matter how long you were with them. They just look at it as something temporary It's just for recreational use. It's not for a serious or practical purpose They come into your life Only to use you And then when they've got all that they can get they're out of there they're gone And sometimes you may never see them again Or if you do It's only after they've slept around They're being around the blog they've met all these people And you may not even be aware of it, but then they're coming back to you And you're taking them in When you should know that you deserve better than that You should know that you should be aware of it And that is why I am bringing this information to you Because that's another thing You know these things that you tolerate and accept Do you really think after they've been around the block they've met all these all of these other people After they've left you Even if somehow they weren't a narcissist and they came back And you invited them back in do you think they'd have any respect for you? After everything they've done to you of course not They wouldn't have any respect for you after that Because they already know fully well After everything that they've done to you you should be kicking their arses out the door They know that And that is why it's exactly what you should be doing You should not be doing anything else Because when someone shows you who they are these Actions of behaviors are not deserving of your respect They are not deserving of that when someone Devalues you discards you And then you see that they're involved with someone else and then they try to come back to you Even if they do get you back they're not going to respect you They're not going to do that because for one thing they don't take accountability for anything They don't look at it as though Why did I divided this person? Why did I discard them? Why did I leave them behind? and Everything they do there's just no suitable purpose. It's all Their own motives. It's all whatever they want to do They're never doing anything for you It's all self-motivated Every time So even if somehow they did think that Life sucks without you. I mean they do know the difference between good and bad They know when they had a better situation with you rather than someone else But even then they're just looking at you as an object an appliance Something they can use Someone who can provide something to them They're not looking at you as a person A separate person with their own wants desires and needs They're not looking at you like that A person with their own feelings. That's why They never even try to Understand you or share your experience They never even tried to do that And of course some of them they can't do that even if they wanted to But even the ones who can Their own self motivations and interests override any little amount of empathy that they have They're not tuned into it like we are You know, if you are a true empath It's not something that you can override It really isn't it's always there no matter how much you're trying to push it away If you see someone down someone hurt someone who needs your help you can't help but be drawn to it You can't help that because you are a true empath And that is why and that is why you can't build a relationship With that type of person As I said, someone who lacks empathy, discipline and self-control Someone like that will always let you down They will One of the most important things that we need Is to have that empathy Without empathy there is no love connection cooperation understanding. There's nothing It's all gone. It all goes out the window And unfortunately some people They don't have it And this is not something that you can develop later in life If you haven't got it now, it's too late You can't go back and get it This is something that is meant to be taught to you And it is also genetic sometimes as well But it's something you're meant to develop in childhood and typically By the age of Seven years old, so I believe it is But even by the age of 18 There's still some room to develop that empathy But then after that it's too late If it's not there, it's already gone This is something that has to be Learned Taught earlier in life I mean as I said it is partly genetic It doesn't really matter what is genetic because you can be taught A different way if it's earlier in childhood It's whatever the The link the connection in the neuroplasticity Of our brains whatever is strengthened So we are pushed in a certain direction And these learnings these teachings earlier in life it can Completely overrides our genetics If it is firmly embedded in our brains in our neuroplasticity If this This network is strengthened But as I said, you know, if they're not taught it If they're not learned then They haven't got it And there's nothing that you can do about that It doesn't matter how much you try to love them How much you try to Hug them be affectionate How much time you try to spend with them You could buy them gifts you can take them on trips does not matter It's not going to make a difference Because it's too late And as I said If you desire A healthy loving relationship You are not going to get that From someone who Is highly narcissistic I mean someone who has maybe Two or three narcissistic traits They can still have empathy They can still understand you i'm talking about People who are higher up on the scale People who are more motivated by Money power success Superficial things rather than Love connection and bonding People who are more motivated by those things They can't love you they can't build with you they can't cooperate they can't do any of that And you need to accept that Stop looking at it as though they can change as though you can help them it is Too late And it was probably too late a very long time ago Without that one thing empathy it's it's nothing you can do to change it to fix it Because that that's the incentive that is the reason the motivation They're not going to do it for themselves because as far as they're concerned It's working for them It's not hurting them so much. It's not they're not suffering The way they're looking at it is It's you you're the one who's suffering And that's why the empathy is so important because if they realize that it's affecting you And they have the empathy they love you they care about you of course they will change their behavior then Of course But they can't Because they don't have that Which means that you will never Get what you want from them You will never get that You will never get a loving loyal and committed relationship From someone who is highly narcissistic You will get that from someone else As I said You will only find that It will be Pretty much invisible to you. You won't even see it even if it's right in front of your face You won't be able to perceive it You can't perceive the things that you don't already have And it's the same thing like if you just Bought a new car Let's say you got a Toyota. Maybe you never noticed. It was on the road Then after you bought one Now suddenly you're seeing to it was everywhere Because now you can perceive it now you understand it It means something to you Because you have it And it's exactly the same thing with our qualities and traits When you develop and strengthen these traits that you desire in another person Empathy Discipline self-control Loyalty honesty and trust When you develop these qualities and traits You will Start to perceive it in other people And not only that it will be like you start to see it A lot You will start to see it everywhere It all starts by strengthening these qualities and traits and you do have them if you were involved With a narcissist that is highly likely that you do possess those traits So That's really what you need to do I mean you have to remember that Narcissists they do Target Kind loyal Trust worthy and generous people But they Trick you they Get you to see yourself in the opposite way as though you're the narcissist And when they do that Then you Start to lose those qualities a bit I mean by the time the narcissist has finished with you You may lose a lot of that empathy You may even become slightly narcissistic yourself Because you're in survival modes Have experienced trauma You believe that it's every man for himself So yes, you may experience that And that's normal But it's hard-wired in you to be who you are So That empathy You can get it back It will come back It may take some time away from the relationship to heal, but it will come back If you had it before It will always come back Doesn't matter how much trauma you go through Doesn't make a difference Because this is ingrained In your brain You were built to be this way So you will always Have the empathy Just as someone who Is selfish only cares about themselves Full blown narcissists, they're always going to be that way Maybe there might be an incentive sometimes for them to show A little bit of whatever empathy they have But they will always go back to who they are They can't change Just like you can't change So yeah, you just need to Redevelop these positive qualities and traits Tune in to them again That's how you heal And you can do that by Spending time in nature Being around animals, birds, getting a pet That will help a lot Spending time with family and friends People you care about, people you trust People who are good to you Doing things that you are passionate about Passion is very powerful It's one of the most healing things that there is When you are passionate about something And it really means something to you You feel it in your heart Something that's important to you So yes, definitely find things that you are passionate about Even if it's just Art, maybe you're like drawing Whatever it is Keep doing that It will help you to Strengthen The qualities and traits that you need To build a healthy and functional relationship Well, then our says of course They will get their karma for what they did to you Because all they're doing When they're abusing you, defiling and discarding you When they do that Of course they are strengthening Their narcissistic qualities and traits Just because you've gone That doesn't mean that it goes away They take it into the next situation With whoever they're dealing with Whether it's A relationship, family members, friends Whoever it may be Even in their work life It will affect every aspect of their life They will always go back to being who they are And you will always go back to being who you are So yeah Recognize Your beautiful qualities Because being an empath It is a very Beautiful thing And it is very powerful I mean just look at it It has the power to build Successful Relationships While Narcissists They only have the power to destroy Because when you're constantly Self-seeking and self-serving That's all you're going to do is destroy This is why empathy is so important This is why you need to Develop Those positive qualities and traits Because Believe it or not that is really the only way That you're going to get what you want And that is the reason why The Narcissists They never get what they want When you're always self-seeking Self-serving You never do get what you want That's the whole point That's why I do what I do That's why I continue To promote my work Because when you help other people You help yourself That is really the best way To do it I mean they may gain Some short term success But it always falls apart In the end It always does They can only get by for so long But it is The empathy that really sustains Functional Functional things Because that is what gives you that Incentive I mean if you're self-absorbed To lack empathy you're only thinking about yourself It's not going to last long Because once you've got what you wanted You've drained the person You get bored, you're out of there But if you're genuinely in it Because you care about the other person You care about their feelings You don't want to see them hurt You don't want to see them You don't want to see anything You're going to stick in it for a long time I don't know many of you did Many of you You were with Let me just remind you You were with an abusive toxic Narcissist Some of you for years Someone who abused you Every day And you still Stayed And why Why Maybe some of you even loved them And that was your motivation That was your incentive You thought you could fix them You thought maybe things would change one day But they didn't care about you And that's why In the end it had to end That's why in the end it had to do that So yeah I hope this helps you to understand Why Why these relationships fall apart They fall apart for a reason Because You're not being cared for You're not being loved You're not getting what you want And when you don't get What you want in life It's not going to go far It will end eventually So yeah As you can see I've just been walking around this park I don't think I've ever been to this one before But there's a Car wash Nearby that I went to Thought it's about time I washed the car It was getting a bit dusty It's a new car as well so I've got to take care of it And I thought it just Come down here for a little walk Put out this video I'm redoing a lot of the Old videos on TikTok And it's really interesting You know when I look back Because Well as you may know I've been doing TikTok now for Over two years I think I started back in 2021 And I have learned a lot during that time Especially in the last two years I have learned a lot of new things But it's interesting to see That even in my older videos They still resonate with me today It still makes A lot of sense And of course I can always Improve on them But just the general narrative Of the videos Even now I still believe That it's all true There are very few things that I don't Think were right In my older videos And even on YouTube as well Sometimes I look back I mean I've been doing this now for Well it's going to be Five years next month I've been doing this pretty much every day Making new videos And It's all So true You know it's amazing when I first started I had only been researching Narcissism for A few months maybe six months Before I decided to give it a go And make my own Videos on YouTube And Yeah I look back Some of my earlier videos Even just the titles It's all so true Like my first video The narcissist doesn't want You to look or feel good The narcissist hates your accomplishments What else The narcissist wants to Destroy you And I think it was my fourth video The flying monkeys and the smear campaign And to know where I was Making these videos Almost five years ago Back in August 2018 Sitting in this Apartment In the UK My old home And I'm just sitting on the couch With my microphone Bought a microphone for £20 off Amazon So I'm making these videos Writing these titles I don't think I had any idea Just how accurate I was Even in the very beginning Because I was expecting Things to improve over time I didn't think I would get Everything right straight away But honestly when I look back At my earlier videos It's incredible Just how Accurate I was It really is It's so true All of those Just those titles alone The narcissist doesn't want you to look or feel good The narcissist hates your accomplishments They want to destroy you It's all so true And of course I had only been researching it for a few months But I did have a lifetime of experience as well But I could have gone it wrong Maybe they just misunderstood Or maybe it's something we do wrong Maybe we have to change something To accommodate them But no I was actually right all along And My videos have remained quite consistent Throughout these five years The information has remained the same Although it may seem Especially with the titles That the information differs But as I have said It does depend on The type of narcissist You are dealing with But typically the behaviour Will Be very similar But it also depends on What grade of supply You were to them as well If you're the grade A primary source Of course they're going to treat you very differently To Someone who's like a side chick Or a one night stand But other than that The information has remained the same Over the five years It's remained accurate And consistent And I look back on my earlier videos And it's really to the point now Where it is Indeniable It really is At this point That's narcissists Of course they are very envious and jealous Very competitive They want to destroy you They want to be better than you Although they can't That's why they constantly compete with you They're very insecure and inferior And Yes they have a serious problem They know They do as well That's why many of them try to hide it Although if they are surrounded by enablers They won't mind showing it They won't mind taking off their mask for a moment If they know that other people will tolerate it And I think a lot of them They know that they can't change They know they can't Manage themselves To that point They can't control Their behaviors because it's impulsive It's habitual It's just so deeply ingrained in their minds They just cannot help themselves They really can't But at the same time they are still making A conscious and deliberate choice And they should be held accountable for it Because these things they can be Managed to some extent Like how they treat you How they abuse you The things they say to you If there was a Responsible Police officer there During that time They would be treating you very differently They wouldn't be saying or doing the same things If they knew that they were going to be held accountable And that is how you know that Yes It is a conscious And deliberate choice Even though they can't permanently change They can change in the moment They can control themselves If they really want to If they really have to They choose not to And that is what Differs These cluster B disorders Which narcissism is Along with Other disorders such as Bipolar Autism Of course those disorders The sufferers are not completely Aware And a lot of their choices Are not conscious or deliberate It is kind of like They are running an autopilot And they don't fully know What they are doing Sometimes they may have some level of awareness Sometimes they won't Changes, I haven't done too much research on These other Disorders or mental illnesses So I can't say too much About that I don't want to give you the wrong information But I'm just saying that to Show that in contrast that Narcissist, borderline All of these Sociopaths, psychopaths They know They know exactly Who they are What they are And that is why Many of them are covert They hide the abuse Because they already know that it's wrong They know that they are wrong They know that they are bad They know that what they are doing is bad And Even the overt The ones who come out They can make a big display They can abuse and humiliate people In public Yes, these people they know That they are bad and wrong too But if they have enough Enablers, enough people to support them Then they are going to keep doing it Because they look at it like It's only bad or wrong If people don't agree with it Everyone seems to be okay with it So that must mean it's okay That justifies it That's how they see it And funny enough Those overt narcissists They tend to be Even more immature Than the covert ones, the ones who hide it It's essentially the same As The bully on a school yard A child who targets A victim in school And they get all the other kids To gang up on them and humiliate them In public Make them feel small, make them insecure But then as soon as the teacher comes out What do they do? It doesn't matter how many kids are watching it The bully already knows Oh, shit, I am doing something wrong It does not matter As soon as An authority figure is present That overrides Any amount of enablers And then The illusion is over After that And that's really what it is That's why Narcissism is so prevalent In today's society Because what we really need is a real man To stand up And realize that this is not okay Sadly At least in my experience I've come across very few real men And one day I had to stand up And realize that If I don't do this, who else is going to do it? I mean, don't get me wrong I have seen a few Real men on YouTube Who are discussing these things But there's only really One, I would say, from my area In the UK And that would be Richard Granan Who has greatly inspired And motivated me Just want to show you this cat there Just noticed it as I was walking down But yeah, Richard Granan, he has been A great inspiration to me I watched a lot of his videos Before I created my channel And I know he's from Liverpool Which is just a few hours away From where I'm from In Wales So We share similar accents And he talks about a lot of the things That I resonate with Yeah, he was a great inspiration to me But other than that There was no one else really As far as I know So I could see that Something is missing And I felt From that point I knew That this is my duty It's my duty to Stand up and be The man that Society is missing Because all we see everywhere these days Is narcissism A lack of accountability A lack of understanding And cooperation Dysfunctionality, impulsiveness, recklessness I could go on and on But yeah, we see a lot of these things These days and I think a lot of people are getting Fed up of it at this point That's why there's so many People like me on YouTube now From all over the world My channel alone has over 40 million views And you've got Dr Bramini, she's got over 1 million subscribers So yeah, people are definitely More aware of this now And People are Starting to get fed up of it Because we realise that How can this be good How can this be good for Families, children Relationships, communities Which is why It is very important for us to Talk about this Because It's going a bit too far In today's society I mean, you know, a little bit of Someone who's got 203 narcissistic traits, as I said You know, maybe a bit of Grandiosity Maybe they They're just like To practice self-care They like to take good care of themselves There's nothing wrong with that You know, everyone wants to let their heads Down once in a while You all do, I mean You see me all the time on my videos I like to drive nice cars As everyone knows I like to wear my shades Even indoors sometimes Sometimes I like to wear designer clothes You know, I like to do All of these things You know that And You know, that's not what I'm talking about What I'm talking about This Severe narcissism That is destroying people's lives Now that That is no fun That is no good for anyone It's even self-destructive To the narcissists themselves So yeah, of course People should be aware of that And That's why I am So grateful For all of you And not only that, I am very Proud of my success You know, when I look back At my older videos throughout the five years And I start to Remember Why I did this in the first place I've already told you The reasons why Because I know that as a man As a real man As a society I know that I have a duty And a responsibility To stand up and spread awareness We can't change Other people At least we can Make those of where Those who otherwise May be susceptible to it Those who Would otherwise Ended up Damaged and destroyed By these types of people People as I said Who are self-absorbed and they lack empathy People who mean you know well People who we have all Been involved with And crossed paths with Probably won too many times And yes By spreading this information It helps It helps societies and communities It helps people to find Goods, positive and uplifting Relationships You know I can't even imagine The effects that All of this information is having I'm sure already I must be responsible for a lot of Breakups and divorces From toxic marriages And relationships but not only that I must be responsible for a lot Of healthy relationships I can't even imagine how many Healthy marriages I have Helped To produce And how many children that have Resulted from it Children who are growing up in healthy Households People who are aware that Too much narcissism is bad And that empathy is very Important You know I've been doing it for such a long time Now it has become so yeah I'm very proud of that And It's not going to stop Just because I've been doing this now For five years I'm not getting bored of it I'm still enjoying it This is my passion, this is my life This is my mission, my purpose And I enjoy coming on you everyday I never wanted to stop I want to keep putting this information out Until we do see Some real change I don't know already We have made a huge difference So many people are aware Of this now And they are using it To build a better life A better future for themselves Their families, their children And I have to say when I get these messages These emails People tell me how I have improved their lives Means the world to me It really does There is nothing That makes me happier than that And I can honestly say that From the bottom of my heart But yeah I'm at the car wash now The car has been cleaned Looks like they've done a good job Can't wait to drive this out now Alright thank you all for joining me On another NARCS 5i Live video Please give this video A thumbs up down below If you enjoyed it