 Of course, my personality disorder is a series mental disorder which affects my personality functioning and traits through emotion or dysregulation. This means that I am unable to manage my emotions. I am emotionally unstable. Every day I struggle with my identity and self-direction. I know I'm a daughter or a sister or a friend, but beyond these titles I have no idea what I am or what I want in life. I look in the mirror and I feel no sense of self, no sense of belonging. Sometimes I feel so lost. My reflection is nothing more than a stranger staring back at me. This lack of identity runs deep. My mind often unconsciously adapts my personality to how I unknowingly wish to be perceived by others. Sometimes this alteration is a result of mirroring the way someone talks, how they behave or even their interests and values. There's no in-between with my emotions, they run very deep into how I feel about myself and it's hard to kind of put your finger at. I'm very self-critical, I focus on my flaws only, I don't ever look at the positives about myself. I feel emotionally numb when I'm asked how I feel about myself. I walk around with a smile on my face and behave like I'm fine, but my emotions have been replaced with this silent pain, a silent pain that unknowingly makes me more self-destructive than ever. I dissociate. In an associative state, I'm aware of my surroundings, what I see, but I'm watching through the eyes of an observer with no connection. It happens mainly when I'm stressed, but it also happens randomly and it's beyond my control.