 I'm about to spit on your bitch, get before the party, not no order, B. I'm steady slipping on a nigga when I flip my phone, a nigga be wrecking off the dome, I'm bad, nigga be going bad, all my tea to the nigga that I call dad, yeah he wanna pop, man he told me like, I'm about to take your bitch and drive a foolin off the lot, I'm givin it all I got, I got this late when I feel, if I get your bitch but then get back to hotel real, about the lady trio, better get the wood, bend this damn beat and it's all good, gippin the beat around and go to check my trip around, I'll be runnin through your city and passin beats around on me, hold up, woke up this morning, twist me up on this morning for a nigga like me, I'll tell her what's up, three questions, what's up with Trump, what's up with Michelle, what's up with Barack, white bitch go to hell, askin me about my people, I don't get the party, you bout to get the party, say, we ain't deportin no friends, pandas drop em sneaking in, I'm askin permission though, can I take your bitch and get a butt, nigga though, say that's Teddy from West LA, on the beach in your bitch we like to play, better yet we need a wood, we like to lay, I call it pipe, Mario brothers, I like to slave, down, nigga be coming down, pop my bucket, Trump I pull my clip and lay it down, nigga be know I'm fine, I'm move, say I'm fine, and if I get your dick, but nigga know I'm bout to climb, when we go with stocking, my fave with clippers, I'll split to a motherfuckin damn tipper, go tipper stripper, go and make a flipper, and if I get her back into my room, we make a flicker, show it goin in, there it goes, my fucker. What do you guys try to make it work? My grandmother did tell me I was handsome, so I try to take that into accountability every day when I'm like combing my beard and whatnot, so, you know, we'll see. You don't want to let your grandma down? You can't let grandma down, she really looks up to me, wow I don't know. Are you excited about the show tonight? I'm very excited about the show man, we got a dope ass lineup. What's the lineup? Man look, we got Visa mom, we got my homie B die, we got Teddy Ray, we got Billy Sorrell, and I'm hosting, so that's the highlight of it all man, I think they're going to have a well, nice overall show full of heavy hitters, we're going to kill it, just watch. And on behalf of the Black Cultural Programming Committee and the Multicultural Student Life Association, we would like to welcome you to our annual homecoming comedy show. Our host for tonight is Mr. Bankshot, he is a popular comedian most known for his social media pages on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube. He is an Ohio native as well as a brother of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity, Incorporated. After 2013, his career really took off, since then he has hosted 50 colleges slash universities across the nation, including ATL Greek Picnic. He now owns his own videography company called Banks Boys Production, LLC. So without further ado, please give a round of applause for Mr. Bankshot. I actually went to a PWI myself, I went to Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. Is anybody from Ohio? That's why I moved to Atlanta, because nobody was from Ohio. But I went to a PWI, so I understand, I get it, you know what I mean? I was at a whole bunch of HBCUs last week and I kind of felt out of place. Then I got to campus and I just smelled that good old interracial dating, and I'm like, I'm right at home. I am right at home. It's good to be here, it's good to be here. I had a long week, I got discriminated against on my flight. I flew Spirit, anybody ever flew Spirit before? Y'all judging me? Why y'all judging me? I just met y'all, I just met y'all. If y'all don't know, Spirit got some cheap flights. Tickets only be like $27, but then you gotta pay for your arms and your legs and everything else. But they randomly made me switch my seats on the plane and I was just very upset because I didn't understand why. I sat down on the plane, I went to the back and I sat down next to this young white woman and as soon as I sit down, she gets up and goes talk to the flight attendant. I can't hear what they're saying, but all I hear is the flight attendant say is, one moment, let me go check on that for you. So she receives a go to the front of the plane and get the lady who was scanning the tickets. She comes onto the plane, she says, excuse me, we're gonna need one volunteer to switch seats with the gentleman in the back. Now by this time, the woman had came back to her seat and here I am talking to her. She's crazy as hell, they're about to make somebody get out their seat. The next thing I know, a woman in the middle of the plane says, I volunteer, I switch, she said, perfect, I need you to switch seats with that gentleman right there in the back and she points at me. I'm like me? I said, what the hell did I do? She said, no sir, it's not you. When the woman got on the plane, she stated she had a disability. She cannot sit next to a man. I said, well, since when to be a lesbian become a disability. So I'm getting pretty upset because I had a comfortable seat. The window felt pretty good. I said, you know what, I'm not getting up. I don't feel like I should get up. She said, sir, please calm down. You're scaring the people on this plane. What we'll do is we'll give you a free flight. I said, oh, because I'm black, you think I like free stuff? She said, no sir, that's not it at all. Please just calm down. What we'll do is we'll upgrade you to first class. I said, this is spirit. Ain't no first class on spirit while you're playing with me. I'm getting very, very upset. I said, sir, please just calm down. What we'll do is we'll get you some Hennessy. I said, light ice, please. Light ice, please. That's how I like my Hennessy, but light ice. Probe, okay. Probe Friday, shout out to the elders. Okay. Anybody from Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated? Okay, fam. I see y'all. I see y'all. Who am I missing? What about Delta Sigma Theta? Y'all in here? Okay. They're coming back. Okay. Which I'll be getting rowdy while y'all are suspended. What about us? We got the brothers of Kappa Alpha Sorority. When they found that they came around, I had made a parody to Destiny's Child, Save My Name. It was called, Swing That Game, Swing That Game, right? So it was all the fun and games, but they really got upset. I mean, I had Instagram threats, emails, death threats. Honestly, it got very serious, and I was just doing it as a joke. The funny thing was, because you know they got a reputation of being pretty boys and you know. So the funny thing was somebody had sent me a message on Facebook, and it said, yo, when I see you, I'm gonna beat your ass. But they forgot to put the letter B on B. So you see how that can kind of be confusing? Just a little bit. I think we got all the Greeks out the way though. Hey, let me just ask y'all this quick question. Have you ever been in a situation where you need to make a quick run somewhere? It's like a Tuesday morning. You need to go to the store to grab something. So you're just kind of throwing whatever. But then you end up seeing somebody and they want to have this long, long, full-fledged conversation with you. It's terrible, all right? So I was tired of getting put in that situation. So I'm like, you know what? I got to come up with a way to get out of that situation. So I went home one day and I thought of the three people that black folks don't like talking to. Number one, police officers. Okay? Number two, bill collectors. And number three, Jehovah Witnesses. So what I do now is I walk around with a Jehovah Witness pamphlet on me at all times. Now y'all may think I'm crazy, but I'm telling y'all, this piece of paper has helped me get out of so many situations that I did not want to be in. I was downtown Atlanta one day. This crackhead walks up to me trying to sell me a parking spot. He said, hey, excuse me, brother. I got this parking spot up front for you. It'd be five dollars. I said, I'm okay. I don't need the parking spot. He said, come on, man. Just give me five dollars. Help a brother out. It's hard out here for a brother. I said, you know what? It is hard out here for a brother. But if you just turn your life over to Jehovah God, all you got to do is just take a couple of minutes. I'd like to read to you here from Luke chapter 3 verse 16. He got mad at me. I'm just going to ask the next nigga. I got pulled over last week. Actually, I was headed to Virginia and I got pulled over. Cop comes up to my window. My window broke. I had to slide it down. He said, I'm going to need to see your license and registration. I said, how about my license in Revelations chapter 7 verse 23? You see here? All of a sudden what it says here, he as well got mad at me. Just slow it down, nigga. It's a true story. Can I ask you a question? And I want you all to really keep it real with me because I know I can't be the only one. Has anybody in here ever needed more time and an assignment so they had a family member die? Heavy hitters in the building. That's going to come out here and do their thing. All right. We're going to keep the energy high. Perfect. So look, what I want you all to do, I want you all to start putting your, well listen, hold on, hold on. Let's calm down. Because this next person I bring to the stage is going to light it up. She going to tear it down. She representing for the lady. She just actually dropped a new single today called Nomodea. Check it out. Yeah, there you go. Nomodea. Yeah, I can't see it. She know the words and everything. Hey, you might have already seen her on MTV's Wild or Not as well. So what I want you all to do, I want you all to stand up, stand up, stand up, and start clapping. Yeah, stand up, stand up, and start clapping. Put your hands together and welcome to the stage. Be some more. Picture of a bike in your head but on the front of your hand, the courage of the lady. You all get down, my buddy. You all get down, my buddy. Sorry. My face is telling me. So can't you clean it? Hey, you can say that on record on TV, so it's fine. I know. Yeah, you go over there. Just don't use it. No, I don't use it. No, I don't use it. You don't know what I'm saying. What's wrong with you? Oh, you don't know that. You don't know that. We don't know if you're talking about concerts. We just make it strike in the corner. We don't know if it's in a black comic. You just... A comic? The microphone's in the head, man. Man, I wish I could go back to college. to college. College is a fun time. I know y'all ready to get up out of here. But look, in about three or four years, y'all going to want to come right back in this mug. I'm telling y'all. I actually went to my, uh, my first, uh, gentlemen's club when I was in college. That was my first experience. Has anybody ever been to one of those before? Okay, I see one hand, okay. It was a good experience. It was a good experience. Had a good time. But what caught me off guard is that they said that the dancers was only $5. So I'm like, okay, that's what's up. You know, $5. If I take a 20 in there, I get two dances, some chicken, a nice little drink. I'm gonna have a good little time. You know what I mean? But what I didn't know was that they didn't play the full songs. So that can kind of catch you off guard. You think for $5, you're gonna get a nice three minute track. No, there's about 20, 30 seconds. I think that's something that you should tell your employees like, hey, look, it ain't gonna be the full song, my brother, but go ahead and do your thing. It was a woman in there by the name of, uh, Ebony. Ebony walked up to me and said, would you like to dance, boo boo? I said, well, yes, I would, Ebony. So she gets to dancing. The DJ begins playing the songs. Like I said, it's not the full song. It kind of went something like this. Go the way you moving. Got me in a trance. DJ, turn it up. Ladies, this your jam. My bitch is bad and bougie. Cooking up dope with a oozy. My niggas is savage, ruthless. We got 30s in 100, round two. Don't stop. Pop that. Don't stop. Pop that. Pop that. Pop that. So about 20 songs later, Ebony turns around. That's going to be $100, boo boo. I said $100 for what? She said, the DJ played 20 songs. You ain't hear them. I said, no, a song is three minutes. He was only playing 20 seconds of the song. What are you talking about? She said, well, here, they don't play this full song, boo boo. You ain't know that? I said, no, I ain't know that. But what I do know is that Jehovah God is the one and only. He's the one that you need in life, Ebony. If you have a couple of minutes, Miss Ebony, let me stop. Y'all ready for our last comedian for this evening? I is funny as hell. He's coming to you all the way from Cali. He's also a part of Russell Simmons' All Death Digital. And you might have seen him as well on MTV's Wild'n Out. So watch all the song, clap and put your hands together right now. And welcome to the stage. Take one.