 Something that helps me out a ton with my own mental health is understanding why we feel the way we feel. So in this video, we're going to talk a little bit about the evolution of loneliness as well as the paradox around this whole situation. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. So if you're someone like me who's just actively trying to improve your mental and emotional well-being, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And boy, have I missed you guys. I know like the last video I posted was like, I don't know, probably less than a week ago. But yeah, I've been taking my own sort of little mental health break. I might do a video and open up about it. But yeah, I've been spending a lot of time with my beautiful girlfriend Tristan, um, talking with my son a lot. He's been back with his mom this week, but he's about to come and stay for a week because of all the stuff going on. So we've been kind of switching off. But anyways, I've been getting my stuff together. But yeah, I've been thinking a lot and reflecting on the channel and what I want to do. I have a lot of really cool things planned. And make sure you're following me on Instagram and Twitter because there's a lot of cool stuff coming. But anyways, today, for those of you who did not know and you need to know, today is the first day of mental health awareness month. And during this current global crisis, we need to focus on our mental health more than ever, right? And I thought this would be a good way to get back into the flow of content. I don't even know why I'm saying this out loud, but I do want to commit to making daily videos throughout this month to get back in the groove. And because it's mental health awareness month, I'm saying that out loud for accountability. But worst case scenario, I will 100% be putting out at least one piece of content per day. So even if it's not a YouTube video, make sure you follow me on Instagram and Twitter. I have this really cool thing I'm planning on doing on TikTok as well. Anyways, just follow me for updates if you need your daily dose of just mental health awareness and discussion. All right, boy, that was a long intro. But yeah, we got some cool stuff to talk about today. So I am currently reading a brand new book that I'm so excited about. I'm loving it so much. I've been binging it. It's called Together by Dr. Vivek Murthy. All right. So some of you might be like, hmm, that sounds kind of familiar. Other of you are like, no, that doesn't sound familiar at all. Well, anyways, Dr. Vivek Murthy, he is the former surgeon general. Okay, he was a surgeon general under Barack Obama. And I fell in love this dude. I had a little man crush on this dude. And here's why. In 2016 or 2017, he released the first like kind of national report saying that addiction is a disease. All right, through a ton of research, him and his team, everything like that saying addiction is a disease. I actually joked around with my clients quite a bit when I was working at the rehab, because this is something that addicts in recovery asked me all the time, like, what do I do if my parents don't understand that addiction is a disease? What do I do if my spouse or my friends don't understand addiction is a disease? I'm like, all you have to do is tell them not to argue with you, tell them that they can go argue with the surgeon general or now former surgeon general. All right, like, it's not our fight. Science has proven it. It is there. It is in a report. Go argue with Dr. Vivek Murthy. He's a lot smarter than most of us who are having this conversation. All right, but anyways, through his research on addiction and, you know, also like the growing, you know, just epidemic of, you know, depression, anxiety, loneliness, people taking their own lives, like these are all numbers that are super high for the time that we're in, right? Like, we have more access to mental health care and, you know, life, like our standards of living are better than they have been, you know, in ages. So why are people so depressed and lonely and disconnected and turning into substances and all that? So that's kind of why he wrote this book called Together and it is focusing on the topic of loneliness. Okay. And what we need to understand is loneliness is a subjective experience, right? Like I know for me, one of the issues that I had growing up was I always felt alone, even in a group of like all my friends or family members, I felt like I was just outside of that group. You know what I mean? Because our internal state of being can be different than what's happening externally and loneliness leads to depression and anxiety. So one of the chapters I just finished in Dr. Murthy's book was called The Evolution of Loneliness. And I'll link this book down below if any of you want to check it out. But again, like I said in the intro, for me, something that helps out a lot is understanding the science and the psychology, the evolutionary psychology behind all this stuff. It helps me say, okay, this is why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling this, you know, I'm not crazy. This is normal, right? But here are some solutions because once we get to the root of the issue, now we can start doing something about it. So loneliness, all right? Why does loneliness trigger depression and anxiety, right? So we go back to caveman days when we were hunters and gatherers, most tribes were maximum like 100 to 150 people, right? And think about it, like being with your tribe, you were safe, right? People were providing food, you had support, right? You could reproduce, you can go get your groove on, you know what I'm saying? Like being with the tribe was the safest place to be, okay? So our minds, our bodies had to evolve in a way to remind us, yo, you need to be with a tribe because if you're not with them, a whole lot of bad stuff can happen, right? Let's say that you are one of the gatherers, or you're one of the hunters, right? And you go out, you're like, you know what? I'm riding solo, I'm a lone wolf, I'm going to go do this, I'm going to go pick me some berries, I'm going to go hunt me some elk by myself, right? That's a dangerous situation, right? Like let's say you, you're testing the berries, you eat a poisonous berry, you get sick and nobody is around. That is a dangerous situation to be in. Let's say you're going out hunking elk and a lion comes out and like jacks you up, right? That is a dangerous situation to be in. Let's say you're just strolling along, you don't pay attention, you fall down, you know, twist your ankle or whatever. That is a dangerous place to be in, right? There's no cell phones, there's no way to communicate with the tribe. So our bodies had to evolve in a way that says, hey, when you are away from the tribe, this is not good. And this is why our brains started making us anxious and depressed when we were separated from the tribe, okay? That is the evolutionary reason why we feel lonely because that is the brain signal like, yo, you need to get back to the group, all right? So it's this signal that we need to start working on our connections, on our social connections. Or right now, it's a very difficult time, but there are some solutions, okay? But here's the paradox. Here is evolution's nasty little joke on all of us. When you are feeling lonely, your threat detection skyrockets, right? Because you figure back in the day when you were by yourself, you had to be on alert. You had to be on this heightened alert, right? So when you're feeling lonely, even though you need to get back with the tribe and be, you know, more social and start building these connections, you're also more paranoid. You're also more fearful of other people. Think about that. Think about how contradictory that is, right? You need to start being around people, but you're also afraid to be around people. Like, how many of us can relate to that? Like, I know from my experience, like, on a, on a rational intellectual level, I could be like, okay, I need to strengthen my social connections. Maybe I should be a part of a group or maybe I should do this or I should talk to people more, right? But we're also terrified to do that, right? And then when you combine, you know, just past experiences, the way that our brain associates certain memories and experiences with negative feelings, right? Like, if you grew up in a household where you were ignored or neglected or rejected quite often, this can turn into fears as, you know, a young adult or as an adult, and you're afraid to build those connections because of the pain that someone might have flicked. Like, in that book too, in Dr. Murthy's book, they discuss how they did brain scans and a physical slap, a physical slap in your face triggers the same centers of the brain as rejection, right? So we're afraid of this rejection. So to finish this, let's talk about the solution. It's baby steps, all right? Make little connections. Reach out to people who you know, who are close to you, especially during this time. I try to make it a point to do one call, one text, one DM or whatever it is with somebody in my life. As a YouTuber, you know, I don't even like using the word influencer or whatever, I try to reach out to some of you. Some of you talk to me in DMs and, you know, I'll try to reach out and just follow up and say, hey, how's it going? You know, whatever. So if any of you are following me on Instagram and DM or Instagram or Twitter, know that my DMs are open, you guys can reach out anytime. But also, it's important to reach out to others because you never know if somebody else might be feeling lonely. You don't know if that person might need to hear from you today. All right? Maybe you need to go and reach out your hand and bring them back to the tribe. All right? So I suggest making it a goal to reach out to one person a day. But that's me set in the bar very low. I think that all of you can reach out to three to five people a day. I believe in you. I think you can do that. All right? So let's build these social connections. Let's try to eradicate these feelings of loneliness and build these connections. All right? But anyways, make sure you're following me on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul, Mental Health Awareness Month. We're doing a big baby. All right? But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge, huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel over on Patreon, as well as everybody who supports the channel by my mental health books at the RewiredSoul.com, as well as everybody who gets merged from the merch store like this Rewired Soul shirt. All right? Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.