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LITERAL Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Trailer
Pan cross ocean.
Zoom into a mountain.
Someone's not good a lighting torches.
Corona commercial set.
Ready the tattered holy sail...
Nevermind let's go look for a trail.
Hot hot hot hot hot hot NOT.
Dramatic main character reveal.
Slow fade-in, Jack negotiating.
Fireworks then Disney castle.
Jerry Bruckheimer, there's an archway.
Rapid pan-down, Jack's in trouble.
Mutton chops stand up cut.
Jack's been drinkiing,
now he's wading,
now he's walking to a meeting.
He just looked at the camera!
Did you see that?
From Disney and Jerry.
Pirate peg-leg look at a boat.
Make an agreement,
cheer, mermaids, hothothothothothothot.
Rotating zombie-boat's captain is too hot.
Jack Sparrow informs her he's taking the boat.
She expresses distaste in this idea by stabbing the door.
Don't slam the door on your hot pirate captain.
And director Rob Marshall,
careful, grab a rock.
Jack warns his crew not to make out with hot water ladies.
Unless you look like them, then take what you can get.
Raise your sword overboard.
Point your sword forward.
Fail to drown, looking down.
Stab the table by a candle.
Man, girl look up look left.
The mermaid is less hot nowww...
Jack is still terrified of the last mermaid shot.
When he calms down Johnny Depp leans
through some leaves, then he looks right.
Jack jumps up, lean.
Penelope then jumps into the fight.
Ian McShane shoots some fireballs at a guy sitting on a boat.
Geoffrey Rush needs some lotion... or maybe some aloe?
Swinging a sword at a hot pirate's basically first base.
Bouncing up, make a gesture.
This summer, get ready to DANCE! (Then fall in a lake.)
Explosive boat, hold a rope, don't tailgate him.
Girls in water boxes, dodge a barrel like Donkey Kong.
Look down don't waterfall, swing, zoom, kiss, boat, spin, dark.
Falling and falling and falling and falling and LAND IN A LAKE.
In comes the title, and it slowly zooms back out.
Show the release date, then show lots of names.
© 2011 Tobuscus