 Ranger Bill, warrior of the woodland, struggling against extreme odds, traveling dangerous trails, fighting the many enemies of nature. This is the job of the guardian of the forest, Ranger Bill, pouring rain, freezing cold, blistering heat, snow, floods, bears, rattlesnakes, mountain lions. Yes, all this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done. It's an air raid. William, for land's sakes, what's that terrible siren wailing about? Is it an air raid? I'm not sure, mother. What a sound sleep I was in. It must be an air raid. You're top civil defense man. They're calling you. Relax, pal. Just wait a minute now. Bill, is that you? Yes, Charlie. What's all the racket about? There's something flawed. No joking. You call central control? Yes, but they can't identify it either. It's some kind of a jet job. What do you mean, some kind? Is it a bomber or a fighter? That's just the trouble. We can't identify it. Well, who sounded the alarm? I did after I talked with Central. They're sending out a fighter squadron right now. All right. I'll be there right away. Is it the real thing? It looks that way, Henry. Wow. Mother, you better go down to the cellar. I don't want to go down there alone. I'll ask Julia to come over and sit in the cellar with me. All right, you do that, but hurry up. Too much for us, oldster. I'm dressed. All right, let's go. Leader to group. Close up. Close up. Major. It sounds like a cliff. Leader to group. Test your guns. Test your guns. Knock off the chatter. Leader to group. Climb to 15,000 in tight formation. Nobody leaves formation. Understand? Nobody. Call me. Leader to group. Jones. Patch. Rollsatch. Follow me in for a look. Cliff, you and the rest of the boys hang around up here and keep your eyes open. Roger. Four minutes to target. Get ready and watch my signal. Fighter squadron approaching area, Bill. Let's get outside, Charlie. See what happens. Yellow leader. Hello, yellow leader. This is Ranger One. Ranger One, this is yellow leader. Have you seen it? Not yet, Ranger One. What's it look like? That's the problem, yellow leader. We don't know. We can't help you. That's okay. I think it was shot out of a wind tunnel. Ranger One to yellow leader. It just passed overhead and right after you. We couldn't identify it going too fast. I see it. That's the jets. What is that thing? It's going faster than the fighters. Yellow leader to ranger one. Go ahead, yellow leader. That's no enemy plane, sir. It's a guided missile. It's a what? It's a guided missile. Wow. What's it doing around here? How should I know? Well, let's find out who's controlling that thing and tell them to get it out of here. I doubt that would help, sir. What do you mean it wouldn't help? I'd say that missile's out of control. You know the problem that faced the citizens of Nutty Pine and the surrounding area, including the Shady River Valley and almost down to Junction City. Charlie did the right thing by sounding the air rate alert. Now I had the problem of getting rid of that thing and flying around up there. As defense chief for the area, I was on the well-known spot. How do you get a runaway missile to land without tearing up or blowing up the countryside? I'd like to call this incident after the man who discovered it. Charlie's Nightmare. Well, sonny, now that we're all out of bed and waiting for that flying thing of magic to roost somewhere, what are you going to do? Yeah, that missile must be a whopper. I can't wait till it gets light enough to see it better. Ranger One to Yellow Leader. Yellow Leader to Ranger One. What are your plans, Major? I'm waiting up here for orders, sir. I have to go back. Of course. Have you any suggestions? Only one, sir. Yes? Let me shoot it down with my cannon. No, don't do that. There's millions of dollars of virgin timber here to say nothing about the town and ranches. Seems to be making a circle. So far it's not causing any trouble. Where'd it come from, you suppose? I wouldn't have the slightest idea, sir. It may have come in from the coast. Ah, perhaps. Proceed to your base and wait for further orders. Yes, sir. Thanks for your help. You're welcome. I'm sorry we can't do more right now. Yellow Leader to Group. Make tight formation at 10,000 and head for home. Is that flying bombshell? Well, Charlie, what do you think we should do? You're asking me? I don't have the slightest idea. Then I'll get me a rope and less so that people scare her. That's a terrific idea. How fast is that missile going? Well, I know that, but I'll just throw the rope up half an hour before it's due to go by. Oh, stop joshing, fellas. Bill, do you really expect me to crawl that missile? Sure I do, Charlie. But not by yourself. We'll give you a hand. You had me scared stiff. What you got in mind, sonny? First of all, we've got to send for an expert and try and find out more about that missile. Then we've got to inform the people of the problem and tell them how to keep safe. Well, what do we do? Henry, you get on the radio and call all police chiefs within a hundred mile radius. All transportation, public and private, is to be kept out of the area until further notice. Yes, sir. Stumpy, you get over to the radio station and give instructions on the special frequency. Shut up, young fella! Charlie, you take charge of control and traction. Keep me constantly informed of the movement of that missile. Yes, sir. I'm going in the office now and call Dr. Horace Talbot. He's an expert in the missile field. I'll build Jefferson Horace. I'm packed and waiting for orders. Huh? Well, how did you know that... News travels fast, Bill. I'll be there within an hour. All right, I'll be waiting for you. New rips folding. Folks, this is Ranger Stumpy Jenkins. We've got a serious problem on our hands with a runaway missile. Its mechanical brain ain't working. We're going to have to figure some way to get it down without busting up everything and everybody. Now, the best thing for you to do is stay home and in the cellar until this is over. Keep calm and use your head. Don't panic. If you lose your head, you might lose your life. Well, Charlie, how's Naughty Pine? In good shape, Bill. The hospital's been evacuated and the orphanage. We don't have to worry about the school children because they're home. Area wardens are reporting everyone's under cover and acting calmly. Hospital's been set up in the cave for casualties and firefighters and police are standing by for orders. All right, tell everyone to sit tight until they get word from me. Yes, sir. Oh, one more thing. Tell all hands they're not to move about in the open. If the missile decides to come down, there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. Yes, sir. Dr. Talbot's here. Hello, Bill. Oh, hello, Horace. Thanks for coming. Forget it. The pleasure is mine. Where's the enemy roosting? I'd say about 5,000 feet and it circles overhead every six minutes. Do you know what its range is right now? No, but I've blocked off an area of 100 miles square radius. How long before daylight? Three hours. Oh, that's bad. I'll say it is. Now, what have you got in mind? Well, I want to make a positive identification as quickly as possible so we know what we're up against. How about asking Washington for permission to use a sunlight arc flare, huh? No, I'm afraid that might cause more panic than the missile. No, I don't think so. We can have the jet boy shoot it down when we're finished. It doesn't have to burn itself out. Yes, but that might cause a forest fire. Let me worry about that, huh? Okay. You're the doctor. Where can we observe the missile? It's best from a ridge at the east end of town. Let's go. Good. I'll radio all for permission. Ranger One to Yellow Leader. Ranger One to Yellow Leader. Yellow Leader to Ranger One. Over. I have permission for you to drop one sunlight arc flare over a knotty pine so Dr. Talbot can identify the Miss Hool. When will you leave? Right away. Over and out. You're worried about the fuel supply, aren't you, Horace? Yes, and so are you. And how I am. And I want that baby coming down on my nice old virgin timber or down in the main drag of town or anywhere near people. You know, this is a crazy deal. Hmm? What do you mean? Well, there's supposed to be a safety device in that thing so it can be exploded if it goes berserk. Apparently that isn't working either. Well, what is working with that machine, Horace? Well, the engine is so far. All right, sonny. Look at that flare light up the country. Just like high noon. Yeah, I can't even look at it. Feller sure would get strain in the eyeballs looking at that artificial sun. Oh, Bill and scientist Feller can make out what kind of a sausage that is flying around up there. No. One thing for sure. What's that? It isn't bologna sausage. There it goes, Horace. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. That isn't a guided missile at all. That's a rocket. No, not exactly. I'd say it's some of both. What? Well, it's either that real enemy merchandise or we've just seen the hottest top secret item on the agenda. No. Yes. I've known about this but never seen it. That is, I've known it's on the planning board. And you know all about the rocket or missile or whatever it is? That's just the point. I don't know about it but I know who does. Well, let's get a hold of him then. It's not a him. It's a her. It is? You know, pretty soon you're going to have me so balled up I'll think I'm flying around up there. Come on, Ruthie girl. Be home. Here. Ruth, Horace. Is a surprise. Yes, but this is business. Serious business and Ranger One is listing in. I'm able three. All right, able three in Ranger One. What's up? Is your dog running loose tonight? He broke his leash in his runaway. We got him running in circles here and don't know what to feed him. You're in trouble. And so am I. Call the dog catcher and have him put to sleep. Completely destroyed. He's very vicious and top hot stuff. Daddy will be very mad if he isn't obliterated. Not around here he isn't going to be. He's got to be done away with Ranger One. Not here. Big daddy in the main house will not be happy. Top hot stuff. The answer is still no. Tell Horace what he needs to know and perhaps we can work something out. How much did you feed him before he left home? Ten thousand gallons. Bow wow at a big breakfast. Not as big as you think, Bill. His metabolism is high and he'll burn it up rapidly. What made your dog sick, Ruthie? We don't know. Short circuit or a wire fell out of his head. It could be one of a dozen things. Thanks, Ruth. We'll see what we can do to coax him into a kennel. I'll have to tell daddy about this and I know he isn't going to like it. You must destroy it. Nope, not over this part of the country. He's got awfully big teeth and he might eat you and the whole town up in little pieces. How many big teeth? How many do they weigh? Two thousand pounds. Next time make sure you keep your dog tied up, huh? I'm sorry he got away. I'll be glad to come and try to catch him. There isn't enough time. Thanks much. Bye-bye. What's so funny? I don't see anything to laugh about. If anyone was tapping Ruth's wire, they'd probably think they got the wrong one. You mean we sounded like the local insane asylum? We did. What a jargon. Wouldn't fool an expert wire attacker for long but it sure slows them down and by that time it's too late for anything to be done. Well, what now, genius? Well, I need a large block of paper and a handful of sharp pencils. We'll wrestle around some higher calculus and trig and see what we come up with. We don't want something to go up with. Give us something to bring that hot potato down with so we won't go up with it. Defense control. Henry, is that you? Yes, Mom. Say, what are you doing out of the cellar? Landsake, son. You can't expect me to stay there the rest of my life. Please, please go back there, Mom. It isn't over yet. Great day in the morning. How long does it take them to decide what to do? This is a special case, Mom. Just be patient. I'll tell Bill you called. All right, son. You do that. And you be sure and call me the moment it's safe to come upstairs. Well, you'll hear the all clear on the air raid siren. Bye. What did she want, pal? Oh, just a little impatient. That's all. Hmm. We'll hear from more than her before this is over. How you doing, Horace? This takes time, Bill. I'm not a Univac machine. Just one little slow human moving brain. Sure you are. If your brain's slow moving the way you're spewing those formulas all over the paper, then my brain is standing still. What's the good word? Not yet. Hey, few feathers don't figure out a way to stop that oversized bumblebee from buzzing around up there. I'm going to get old Betsy and shoot his tail feathers plum off. Ranger One to Yellow Leader, over. Yellow Leader to Ranger One, go ahead. You can shoot out the arc flare now and then go home. Yes, sir, we'll do. What's the latest scoop? I can't tell you over the radio, but we'll see that you're briefed on what happened. I understand. Thanks much. Over and out. You're welcome. Don't worry about a forest fire. I'll dispatch firefighters to handle the situation when the flare lands. Over and out. The governor's calling. He wants that missile brought down at once. Tell the governor we're making every attempt to do that, Charlie, without blowing up half the county. Yes, sir. Well, Colonel Anders is on the fall. He wants to talk to you. Pronto. Ask him to wait just a minute until I dispatch firefighters to cover the flare landing. You said it, honey. Everything will be hotter than a pot-billed stove on a cold night. Ranger One to Tower Three. Ranger One to Tower Three. Tower Three, by. Dispatch your ground crews to cover arc flare landing. It will be intensely hot. Acknowledged. I understand your orders. We'll dispatch ground crew at once. Over and out. Hello, Colonel. Sorry for the delay. Yes, I've covered the arc flare landing. But Colonel, yes, sir? I understand your orders. Yes, sir. Goodbye. What's the matter? I'm ordered to shoot the rocket missile, or whatever it is, down two hours after sunrise, unless we can land it by other means before then. Here's the scoop, fellas. Okay, Horace. Shoot. There is a two-hour fuel supply left. That means she'll run out half an hour before the deadline. Right. Now, I calculate that if it holds its present course, it'll land right in the center of town. What? In the center of town? With 2,000 pounds of high explosive? Why, naughty pine will be only a spot on the ground after that. You mean a hole in the ground, don't you, sonny? That's what he means, all right. We'd better get the town evacuated right away. Not only right away, Charlie, but in an hour. Everybody must be out within an hour. I'll get the ball rolling double time. I only hope we can do it. Tell the evacuation team it has to be done. So we'll have half an hour's safety margin in case that thing decides to land sooner. The governor wants to know when the rocket's coming down. Washington wants to know how soon you're going to shoot that missile out of the air. Germany's jets with aired air missiles to blow that contraption clean to the moon. Railroads ask you when they can move. They've got hundreds of unhappy passengers chafing at the delay and three freight trains full of perishable goods waiting to roll. Truckers are calling in. They're mad because they can't move into town. Move the command post to underground quarters, Charlie. Yes, sir. About 15 minutes left. Begin the countdown every five minutes until five and then by ones. Here it comes again. She's beginning to gasp for fuel, losing altitude and speed. You still stand by your calculations, Horace? Yes, I've triple checked them. Stumpy has complete evacuation been verified. Say, where's the old timer? I don't know. Command post all underground, Bill. Okay. Have you seen the old timer? No, he's not with us. Wait a minute. I saw somebody heading toward Main Street. What? Was it Stumpy? I think so. I didn't pay much attention. He had on a ranger uniform, so I figured it was all right for him to be there. Ten minutes! I'm going after the old timer. He's going to try and sightsee this landing. He'll be killed, and so will you. I'll worry about that some other time. I told you, fellas, to stay back. I've faced worse than this with you before. It's too late now! Look at it! Get the deck! She isn't going around once more. Here it comes! Suffering catfish! It didn't go off! Praise the Lord for that. Where's the old timer? The rocket stopped right in front of the statue of Sitting Bull in the square. There's more than Sitting Bull on that statue. It looks like a man. Yes, and I think I know who that man is. Sitting Bull's brother, Foolish Bull, are commonly known as Stumpy Jenkins. Listen, you old walrus, what do you mean by foolishly risking your life and disobeying my orders? You can thank the Lord you weren't killed. Well, I thought I had about five more minutes. I didn't know that that thing would chase me across the square. Where were you going? Well, I was going to kind of get on the edge of the square and have a good look when it landed. I wanted to see firsthand how it crashed banged down. And you got caught short and chased you up the statue? It sure did! I was plumbing the middle of the square I heard the rocket coming down and tear Bain Street to smithereens and I looked up and it was too late to run so I thought I'd climb up. It's funny now, but it wasn't then. And our fortunate we were that the warhead loaded with explosives didn't go off. Well, that's the story of Charlie's nightmare. Charlie better take a bail of hate a bit with him here on in to feed his nightmares. I'll see you next week for more adventure with...