 All right, listen, dog. I'm reviewing the mean dog this week. I don't have enough ideas, so I'm thinking of bringing back literal code names. So what I need you to do is I need you to do the whole review for me. Can you do that? Just do the review of the toy. Just take over this week. It's all yours. Will you do it? Will you do it, huh? Will you do it? You're not going to do it, are you? You're not going to do it. After all I've done for you, you're not going to review the toy for me. You are so mean. You are so mean. You're such a mean dog. Buddy, Hoonicover Commander 788 here. It's time for another vintage GI Joe toy review. Thank you to Chris Pierce for the title card image. Make sure you check out Comic Tropes on YouTube for comic book reviews. This week we are going to look at a vehicle, a big vehicle, a mean vehicle. It's the 1988 mean dog and the driver Wildcard. Thanks to Kyle Johnson for donating this toy, complete and ready to review. Should have known when I review Wildcard something would go wrong. Wildcard has an odd character trait. He tends to break everything he touches. How does the most accident prone member of the GI Joe team get assigned to drive an expensive vehicle? Let's see if we can figure it out. HCC 788 presents the mean dog and Wildcard. This is the 1988 GI Joe mean dog and the driver Wildcard. This vehicle and figure set were first available in 1988 and were also available in 1989. They were discontinued for 1990. This is the only version of these toys that were released in the vintage era. Even though this vehicle came out in the late 80s, when GI Joe was starting to move away from its military roots, it still has a pretty good military feel to it. The predecessor to the mean dog was the Havoc from 1986. The Havoc wasn't an exact one for one match, but it is the closest equivalent. It didn't split apart into segments like the mean dog. The Havoc had some design flaws that would render it useless in real combat. The mean dog fixes some of those problems. There was a Cobra vehicle that was similar to the mean dog, the Maggot from 1987. The Maggot, like the mean dog, could split into two sections and it had a big gun that could work as a standalone weapon. The Maggot was specifically self-propelled artillery. The mean dog is self-propelled everything. There are a few real military vehicles that are segmented like the mean dog. There is the Bandwagon 206, a two-section vehicle used by the Swedish Army. There's the Vityaz, a Soviet ATV. These vehicles don't look much like the mean dog though. The mean dog is a fantasy vehicle. Was there a replacement for the mean dog when it was no longer on the shelves? In 1989 there was the Raider, which had breakaway sections, but that's where the similarity to the mean dog ends. I'd like to thank Mike Stafford for sending the Raider to me. You might remember him. He sent me the Locust, which I reviewed last year. Wildcard is a unique figure and we're going to take a close look at him later, but we're going to set him aside for now so we can look at the mean dog. Before we get into the details, I want to take note of the colors. It has entirely muted colors for good camouflage, with the minor exception of the white missiles. It looks like it could be a real military vehicle. This is fantastic. I love it. I have no complaints about the color at all. Let's take a look at the parts and the features of the mean dog starting here in front. We have this front section that is articulated. It has two wheels, at least two visible wheels in this mode. These wheels are dark gray. They're not quite black and they have minimal detail. Each wheel does roll independently. In fact, all of the wheels on the mean dog are the same. On this front section we have a slatted canopy and there's a little tab here on one side and you can pop that canopy up to reveal the cockpit. We have a pretty nice and spacious cockpit here. We have a couple of control sticks. Those look pretty thin, so be careful about breaking those off. We have some nicely molded-in seats and we have a texture pattern there in the back. This is a three-person cockpit, so let's just go ahead and toss three guys in there. As you can see, it looks pretty roomy. Looks like there's plenty of room in there. With all three guys in there, you can very easily close the cockpit and you can actually still see those guys through the slats. This front armor could be a complaint. It's supposed to protect the passengers, but it really leaves them vulnerable. The slats go all the way down to the bumper and leave plenty of space for bullets to fly through. That's true and it would be a serious design flaw on a real military vehicle. However, I see it as an upgrade from the big, clear canopy on the Havoc. It's not perfect, but it's a step in the right direction. On top of the front section, we have a machine gun turret. The blueprints call this an M60-50 caliber fire ring pivoting machine gun. It does pivot. In fact, it can turn all the way around and it has a sticker control panel on the inside. Although the blueprints call it an M60, it is not an M60. It doesn't look like one and the M60 is not a 50 caliber machine gun. The occupant of the center seat in the cockpit can man this gun turret. There are a couple pegs for him to grip onto. Now, the gunner might prefer a little more protection while manning the turret, but this turret does remind me of some machine gun turrets seen on Humvees. There is an articulation point between the front and the back sections and the front section can turn quite a bit, actually. You can also pivot up and it can twist, so it's capable of going over all kinds of terrain. Yes, the front section will twist all the way around if you ever felt a need to do that. This is a good time to show you how these sections separate. First, you have to slide the top half of the back section toward the rear, and this opens up the space to pull out the back wheels of the front section. I find it easier to reach underneath and push those wheels out from behind. It's kind of a tight fit, but you can pop those wheels out and now you have two separate sections. That back section is going to be unbalanced as long as it slid back like that, just slide it forward, and now you have two independent sections of the mean dog. With the front section popped out, it reveals the back set of wheels. The articulation point is at the very back of the main body of the front section. It's very similar to the one on the maggot, and you can get quite a wide range of motion on that, so it can move that back set of wheels for steering. These back two wheels are very close together, but they are in fact exactly the same as the front wheels. With the front section you just slide back the top half of the back section and you just drop those wheels back in that gap. It's a little bit of a tight fit, but just make sure they go all the way in there. Slide that over the wheels, the back wheels of the front section to lock it in, and now the mean dog is whole again. Well now let's look at the back section. We haven't even looked at half of this vehicle yet. This back portion of the mean dog still operates as an independent vehicle, even without the front section attached, it still rolls around just fine. There's this gap where the wheels can dock, then we have another slatted window like in the front, but this does not cover a cockpit. It provides a nice continuity of design between the front and the back sections. Most of the vehicle's armaments are in the back section. The front section can operate kind of as a scout car. In the back it has four wheels and they are the same as the wheels in the front. Moving the main cannon out of the way, we can look at the driver's cockpit. There is room for one figure. There is a minimal control panel sticker in there and a molded-in seat. You can fit a figure in this cockpit either sitting or standing. Wildcard can sit in this seat, but not with his machete on his back. Sitting in the seat, Wildcard's head still does kind of poke out a bit. So the driver of the back section is more vulnerable than the driver of the front section. There's a detail on the mean dog that was reused from an earlier vehicle. This vent first appeared on the 1982 MOBAT tank. They took a section of that vent and put it on the mean dog. And in fact, that same detail appears on the front section as well. On both flanks we have missile launchers. They do tilt and in fact they will turn all the way around. These missile launchers also will slide out on these kind of wing-like trays here. You have to be careful about pulling them too far because they will actually pull all the way out. On the missile launchers we have the mean dog logo, which is literally a mean dog. This is not my favorite vehicle logo. I think they could have tried a little harder on that one. In each missile launcher we have five missiles for a total of ten. They are made of white plastic. They are all identical. The blueprints call these SAM-12 surface-to-air multi-max missiles. They're not based on any real-world missile that I'm aware of and this is the only part of the mean dog that doesn't have a nice good camouflage color. Finally, we get to the main gun turret and the big gun. The blueprints call this an M200 spitfire 20mm automatic cannon, 3,000 rounds per minute. Although this isn't a real-world weapon, it vaguely describes the M61 Vulcan, which is a 20mm multi-barrel gatling-style gun. The Vulcan has a rate of fire of 6,000 rounds per minute. On the top of the gun it has a thumb wheel, which you can use to make the barrel spin, and you can pretend that it's firing. This gun turret can rotate 360 degrees and it can elevate with a ratchet and it can actually elevate really high. Some people have said this gun looks kind of phallic. Well, I don't know about that. To me, it looks a little small. There's room for one figure in the gun turret. There's not very much detail in there. Wildcard can fit in that turret even with his machete on his back. Now, it's not very roomy and when the gun turret tilts back it kind of puts some pressure on the figure there, but there is just enough room to clear. As if this vehicle didn't have enough features, this entire turret and the post is mounted and can be removed. We'll look at that gun turret momentarily but now that it's removed, let's look at the space in that cavity where the gun turret was. There is some technical detail. There is a clip on the main body of the vehicle and that clips onto a little hole on the post for the gun turret and that's what holds it on. In the back, in the very, very back there is a small troop carrying platform with two foot pegs so you can place two additional figures on the back of the mean dog and they can ride along. There we go. And in between them, there is a universal tow hook. This gun can stand alone as a stationary gun in placement, sort of. It has a black ring that it goes around the base and attached to that, it has four support feet. These can be popped out like that. Mine are pretty loose. I don't know if that's typical of every mean dog but mine like to just totally pop off but you can snap them into place like that and then slide this ring down and that becomes a support base for the gun. It does not work very well. The gun is unbalanced unless you tilt the barrels all the way up and then you can kind of get it to balance. It's a nice idea but the execution leaves something to be desired. Redocking the gun turret is easy. Just make sure those support feet are closed down. The ring is all the way up. Line up the clip with the little slot and then just snap it into place. Before we move on and look at Wildcard, let's see how many figures the mean dog can carry. It holds three in the front, one in the rear driver's cockpit, one in the gun turret and two on the foot pegs in the back. This thing can move seven figures. Not bad. This is Wildcard. He was only released with the mean dog. He was never released as a carded figure and he did not get a second version in the vintage line. Like the mean dog, he was discontinued after the 1989 run so he helped GI Joe end that decade. Before we go into the details, I want to comment on the overall look of Wildcard. This figure is like an upgrade version of Armadillo, the driver of the Rolling Thunder. They both have green helmets, green shirts, bare arms and red trousers. But Wildcard is ten times better. His helmet is removable. The green is darker and less puke-like. The red is darker. The details are better. Wildcard is like Armadillo, but with more effort. Let's take a look at Wildcard's accessories. Starting with his helmet, it is dark green, about the same color as his shirt. It has vents and straps and other details on it. It's a bit oversized. This is the same helmet used for 1991 Major Altitude. Major Altitude's helmet is a lighter green and it's made of a softer plastic. Wildcard's helmet is hard plastic. His next accessory is his machete. It is in grey plastic. And it looks fine. It looks like a good machete. Very realistic looking. I'm not sure why he needs this. I can't imagine him using it very often. Maybe he could clear a path through the jungle for the mean dog. But I would think anything he could cut down with the machete, he could roll over with the vehicle. I have an alternative use for this machete. Muskrat from 1988 came with a light blue machete and I don't have that accessory yet. My figure is incomplete. Until I get that accessory, he looks pretty good carrying Wildcard's machete. Wildcard's final accessory is his backpack. And the backpack is in fact just a sheath for the machete. It has a backpack on it like any other backpack. But it is in the same shape as the machete. It's just a sheath. The machete goes in like so. Fits pretty well. But it has no other detail on it whatsoever. It is only a sheath for the machete. The best thing I can say about this accessory is at least it's small enough that it doesn't get in the way when Wildcard is in the gun turret. It all seems like this accessory was intended for a different figure. I don't know why this goes with Wildcard. Let's take a gander at Wildcard's articulation. He had the articulation that was standard for GI Joe figures by 1988. So he could turn his head from left to right and look up and down. He could swing his arms up at the shoulder and swivel at the shoulder all the way around. He had a hinge at the elbow so he could bend at the elbow about 90 degrees. He had a swivel at the bicep so he could swivel his arm all the way around. The figure was held together with a rubber o-ring that looped around the inside. That allowed him to move at the torso a bit. He could move his legs apart about so far. He could bend his leg at the hip about 90 degrees and bend at the knee about 90 degrees. Let's take a look at the sculpt design and color of Wildcard starting with his head. And on his head he has brown hair and he has a brown mustache. He is pretty well sculpted. The face has some character. This head, like the helmet, is reused for 1991 major altitude. Even the hair color is almost the same. G.I. Joe reused parts frequently but I wish they didn't reuse the heads. They look like clones. The chest on this figure is very interesting. He's wearing a dark green vest which actually looks like a shirt with the sleeves ripped off. You can see the jagged edges around his shoulders. He has pockets and what looks like ID patches. I think this is supposed to be an Army BDU shirt with the sleeves removed and the front is entirely open, exposing his bare chest. He looks like he's wearing Jack Benny's Hong Kong suit. This proves G.I. Joe's dress code is extremely informal. Look at Quick Kick and Wildcard. Shirt and shoes are optional. Even though this chest is quite interesting, I think it's missing a couple things. For instance, maybe some dog tags and some straps for his backpack. How is the backpack supposed to stay on? Does he pin it to his back with safety pins? His arms are bare and muscular. He has black bands around his wrists. The arms are otherwise plain. On the waist piece he has a belt and he has some pockets. The waist piece is pretty well sculpted but it is unpainted. No paint applications on it at all. I feel like that belt needs some paint. It doesn't look right being the same color as his trousers. On his legs we see he's wearing red trousers. It's a dark red. On his right side he has kind of a sculpted stripe that goes down. On the left thigh he has an unpainted pistol holster with an unpainted strap that goes around the thigh. It has a green pistol in the holster. The same color green as his shirt. Of course because we have to minimize the number of colors used on this figure. The left side pistol implies that Wildcard is left-handed. On the right shin on his trousers he has a patch. It looks like a patch sewn on there. And then finally he has grey boots and his trouser legs are pulled down over them in a very casual way. Wildcard looks like a wreck. From top to bottom he looks like he's falling apart. The details of the figure may have been inspired by the peculiarities of the file card or maybe the file card was inspired by the details of the figure. Let's take a look at Wildcard's file card. Say that five times fast. It has its faction as G.I. Joe. It has a portrait of Wildcard here. It says his codename is Wildcard and he is the G.I. Joe mean dog driver. His final name is Eric U. Scott. His primary military specialty is armored vehicle operator naturally. Secondary military specialty is chaplain's assistant and I'm not going to unpack this secondary specialty. It just seems random. First place is in Northampton, Massachusetts and it is E4. This top paragraph says Wildcard possesses an unnatural talent for breaking things. Sturdy steel machines, simple tools, delicate toys, immovable objects of cast iron, eight piece dinner settings, nothing is immune to his uncanny destructive powers. Fortunately, that which is judged to be an abominable affliction in civilian circles can be a valuable skill in military ones. Is it really? It would only be a valuable skill if you're breaking the enemy's stuff. Why would they put someone so prone to breaking things in charge of expensive equipment? As I tell my kids, if accidents keep happening, then they're not really accidents. You're being careless. This bottom paragraph has a quote. It says, when Wildcard is driving the mean dog, the vehicle becomes an extension of himself, a raging engine of destruction, pulverizing all in its path. If the enemy by sheer luck manages to knock out the mean dog, then they put themselves in the position of having to deal with Wildcard directly. You can go so far as to call that a violation of the Geneva Convention. So Wildcard is really good at driving the mean dog. If the enemy breaks his vehicle, he'll be really angry and commit a war crime. But the enemy doesn't need to try too hard to break the mean dog. Given enough time, Wildcard will break it himself. Breaking things is not a character trait. What does this say about Wildcard? Is he clumsy? Is he careless? I understand why this happens. There are hundreds, hundreds of characters in G.I. Joe. It's difficult to make them unique and distinctive. Because of this, characters tend to get one thing, one personality trait that makes them special. My problem with this is breaking things is not a personality trait. It's a gimmick. And it's a gimmick that they already used once before. On Tripwire. Looking at how the mean dog and Wildcard were used in G.I. Joe media, they were only animated for commercials. The mean dog was released in the gap between the cancellation of the Sunbow animated series and the beginning of the Deke series. So no cartoon appearances for them. Wildcard did have a couple noteworthy appearances in the comic book published by Marvel Comics. He first appeared in issue number 72 where he was introduced with the mean dog. The Desert Fox, Skidmark and Windmill were also introduced in that series. Wildcard went around breaking things, true to his filecard description. He was on the cover of issue number 89. That issue was titled Mean Dog. In that issue, Cobra is pursuing rock and roll and clutch. The mean dog assists taking out some Cobra fangs and pogos. Of course, Wildcard breaks his own vehicle. The issue wraps up with rock and roll and clutch getting captured by Road Pig. In the comic book, Wildcard only existed to drive the mean dog and break things. Looking at the mean dog overall, I'll put it in the top tier. I would love to have a vehicle in this size class that is modeled after a real military vehicle. But even though this is a made up vehicle it still has a lot going for it. The colors are excellent. With the exception of the white missiles, all the colors are subdued and appropriate for a military vehicle. There are plenty of features. It holds a lot of figures. There are tons of weapons. The split apart feature gives you two vehicles in one. And you can take the gun off and make it a separate standalone gun emplacement. Although that gun emplacement doesn't work as well as it should. That's probably the weakest part of this vehicle. If you compare the mean dog with the havoc, it looks like they've taken the design flaws of that vehicle and fixed them. They took the features of that vehicle and upgraded them. Instead of a clear canopy you have an armored canopy. Instead of a flying car you have two independent sections. Instead of pivoting treads, the mean dog is articulated. Instead of having the exposed gunner up on top, the mean dog puts the gunner behind more cover. The thing I like the least about the mean dog is the name. Mean dog. It's kind of weak and not very creative. Wild card, I'm going to call a middle tier figure. But just barely. The figure is better than Armadillo, a similar figure from 1988, but even though Wild Card is better, he still has some flaws. I don't love the accessories. The helmet is too big, he doesn't need the machete. The sheath backpack is pretty cool, but these are accessories that would work better with a different figure. Wild Card is sorely missing paint applications. There are several parts of the figure, especially the bottom half of the figure, where it looks like it really ought to be painted. The silly gimmick with Wild Card breaking things seems a little weak. I would prefer a more fully developed character. But then I also recognize how difficult it would be to have hundreds of fully developed characters in one toy line. That was my review of the 1988 mean dog and Wild Card. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks again to Kyle Johnson and Chris Pierce. Next week we're doing something special. We're going to look at a part of GI Joe that I've wanted to look at for a while and we're going to have a little help. In the meantime, find me on Facebook, Twitter and Patreon and my website HCC788.com I'll be back next week with something new and until then, remember only GI Joe is GI Joe.