 Okay, so how do you know if a guy is seeing other women or not? Life would be a lot easier if everybody would just date one person at a time, but here in the West that's not really the case and it's not really realistic to expect that. And so I'm going to make sure, I'm going to give you some tips to make sure that you're getting yourself into the best possible situation. And today I'm going to be talking about nine different signs to find out if he's seeing other women or not and what you should do about it if he is. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you're with us right now make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's really cool to see these women from all over the world watching these live streams. So, okay so the first one is number nine. I'm going to go backwards and number one is by far the most important one so make sure you stay tuned for that. So number nine is he keeps conversations on a very surface level. So a lot of guys will end up doing this if they want to keep things just casual and just light and not get into a serious and deep relationship because they know that if they start connecting with you on a deeper level that you'll start developing more feelings for them and so a lot of times guys will just keep it light and fluffy and conversation because they don't want to develop a deeper relationship with you. And my guess is if that you're a part of this community then you want real relationships, you want a real conversation with a guy and so my suggestion is that you don't settle for anything less. Second, so number eight is he hides his phone or certain things on his phone. So maybe he's like you know like hiding his phone from you or like his phone's over there and he always puts it face down right that's one of the signs. And so it's possible that he's doing a bunch of things like buying you necklaces on his phone and he wants it to be a surprise so he doesn't want you to see it. But it's much more possible that he's doing something really shady and he doesn't want you to know about it. So shady things are like talking to other girls on his phone or having inappropriate conversations or sharing inappropriate pictures with other girls or flirting with other girls in front of you or not in front of you, it doesn't really matter. Hanging out with other girls, that kind of thing. So shady types of things when you're in a relationship with somebody that someone shouldn't be doing. And so if a guy is hiding his phone from you, my suggestion is that you take that as a giant red flag. And so a red flag is something that you should pay more attention to and learn more about because it's a signal that maybe something's wrong in the situation or the relationship that you're in. So number seven is he often cancels on you. So if you're just an option to him, he'll end up cancelling on you because he thinks that there's something else better out there or something better comes up that's a bigger priority than you are. And so he takes you for granted and he treats you like an option and if he's cancelling last minute on you, here's what you should do about it. My suggestion is that if a guy does this to you, you should have some self-respect. And what you should do is if he wants to meet up with you ever again and hang out with you ever again, that he needs to make up for it and give him a way to make up for it. So if he's not willing to do that, don't be willing to hang out with him again, right? Like if a guy's cancelling on you all the time and he's not making up for it, he's just showing you that you're not a priority, you're not important to him, you're not special to him and he's willing to treat you like garbage and if you allow him to do that, you'll continue to see that over and over and over again in the future. But if you make him earn hanging out with you again, he'll start to value you more just by the fact that you're making him earn it again. And so that's my suggestion for what you do in that situation. Number six is he's always meeting up with a friend or friends, right? And friend is really code word for another woman. So if you don't know that, just let that sink in for a minute. If he's not telling you what friend he's going to be hanging out with or who he's hanging out with, he's not like, hey, me and Jim are going to go down to the bar and hang out or whatever. He's like, yeah, I'm hanging out with a friend of mine. What he's saying is that it's probably somebody that he doesn't want you knowing about, which could be a girl. And so don't, you know, my suggestion is that, you know, you just pay attention, right? It could be, yeah, you might want to ask him some questions like, oh, who is it? Like, which friend do I know this person, you know, depending on what kind of a relationship you have with him. And if he's honest and he tells you it might end up being a girl or it might be something, right? And guys usually do this because they don't want to tell you who this person is. And it could be because they're seeing somebody else and it could be because they know that you're going to freak out if he tells you. And those two things aren't the same, right? So if you always freak out when he tells you something like he's meeting up with a coworker who is a woman or something like that or he talked to somebody who is a woman and he knows that you freak out all the time. That's different than he's seeing somebody and he doesn't want to show you. But both of those things are kind of things that you should be aware of and could be problems. And so you want to definitely be aware of that. If you get what we're, if you get what I'm talking about here, say, I get it. Say, I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about, you're welcome to ask any questions. I'm going to go over questions at the end here. So number four is he doesn't like walking around with you in certain areas during the day. And so the reason why a guy wouldn't want to walk around with you in certain areas during the day is that he wants to hide you from anyone seeing you because he doesn't want people to know that you guys are hanging out because he's trying to keep his options open, right? And so he doesn't want other girls to see that you guys are seeing each other. He doesn't want coworkers to see that you're seeing each other. He doesn't want friends to see that you're seeing each other because that might close off other options that he has with other people or maybe his friends might tell somebody or maybe his coworkers might tell somebody or somebody might tell somebody. And so the reason that he does this is because you're his dirty little secret. And so my suggestion is that you never, ever allow yourself to be hidden in a relationship. Never allow yourself. So we get women sometimes in our community that'll say things like they're in this kind of situation with this guy, but he doesn't want to tell anybody about them, right? My suggestion is that you never, ever get yourself into a situation like that and that you only allow yourself to get into a situation where a guy is proud to share you and show you off and tell other people that you're together. Because I believe that you deserve that. So number four is he, oh, I already said that. So number, number three, oh, did I, did I skip number five? I think I skipped number five. Number five is he's busy a lot in, on the weekends or the evenings and he doesn't respond or message to you in the evenings unless it's like midnight or later. And he's, and basically all he's doing is looking for a booty call. And usually the reason that a lot of guys will do this is because he's seeing someone else who he feels is more important than he feels that you are. And I know that can sound really, really painful, but it's important that you know if a guy is seeing somebody else who he thinks is a lot more important. And so if he's doing that, he'll only reserve certain times to meet up with you. And those are the times that he's not meeting up with this other person that he really cares about. And this, this happens sometimes when a guy's married or in a relationship or just seeing another woman that he feels is more important. And so if a guy does those kinds of things, basically he's setting you up as a booty call or a dirty little secret. And my suggestion again is don't allow yourself to be either one of those things. So number three, number three is he doesn't introduce you to his friends or his family. And so men who want to be exclusive want to show off the woman that he is dating to his friends and his families because he's proud to be with you, right? And you want to be with a guy who is proud to be with you. You don't want to be with a guy who's embarrassed to be with you or who's trying to hide you or who doesn't want his friends and his family to know about you. And another thing that I want to note too also though is that just because you've met his friends and family, doesn't mean that he's moving things forward with you. It just means that he likes you. It doesn't mean that he's trying to get into a relationship with you. It doesn't mean any of those kinds of things. It just means that he likes you and that he's proud to be with you. But if you aren't meeting those people, you want to treat that as a red flag. So number two is your intuition is telling you that he's seeing someone else. Again, number one is the most important one, so wait for that one. So a lot of times things just don't add up and you just kind of feel it. And you feel like there's just something a little bit off. And it's one of those things where women, for most women their intuition is one of the most powerful things that they have. And it's this thing that a lot of guys don't have in the same regard. And so my suggestion is that you kind of take notice of your intuition and what's going on with you and how you feel about things. Because if something feels off a lot of times, your body will tell you about it. And so you should listen to that and just allow that to be something that comes up for you and think about another thing that you can do is join our community. Because it's really important to have other women who you can ask questions to and ask if this is like, is this a red flag? Should I be worried about something here? Like this came up, like what's going on? And have other women that can kind of feedback to you what's going on, as well as our coaching community and all that kind of stuff. So number one, number one is the most important thing here. If you want to find out whether he's seeing other women or not. And it is you haven't talked about being exclusive, right? So this is by far the most important thing that you can do. And I talk about this all in my forever woman program. So if you haven't seen that yet, make sure you go to the foreverwomanformula.com and sign up for free for my program. It's really awesome. You'll learn a lot of awesome things about how to make sure that you're getting into the best situation you can possibly get into. And a lot of the women that end up using our system, they get married, they get into relationships where they're cherished and loved and seen. And so if you haven't talked about whether you're exclusive or not, you can just assume that he's seeing other people. And so if he avoids the subject when he brings it up, when you bring it up, that's a huge red flag that you shouldn't ignore at all, right? My suggestion, so for all of this, is that you have a rule that you don't sleep with men unless you're exclusive, unless you're getting into an exclusive relationship. If you want a committed relationship, make sure that you don't hook up with a guy unless he's willing to have that conversation about being exclusive or not. So if you're already sleeping with a guy, here's my suggestion. If you guys haven't had this conversation yet, have enough respect for yourself that you don't continue to sleep with him unless you become exclusive, unless you've had that conversation and he agrees to it. And so my suggestion is that you be willing to walk away from a man if he doesn't agree to this. All right, so what questions do we have here? If you have a question about your situation or about anything that's going on with you, make sure you ask it in the chat right now. And I'm just going to go over the nine signs again, and then we will go and I will start answering questions. So the nine signs are nine is he keeps conversations on the surface level. Eight, he hides his phone or certain things on his phone from you. Seven, he often cancels on you. Six, he's always meeting up with a friend or friends, right? And he doesn't tell you who these friends are and you haven't asked. Five is he's busy a lot of the time on the evenings or weekends and he doesn't respond or message you in the evenings unless it's like after midnight and he's looking for some kind of booty call. Number four is he doesn't like walking around with you in certain areas during the day. Number three is he doesn't introduce you to his friends and his family. Number two is your intuition is telling you he's seeing somebody else. And number one is you haven't talked about being exclusive yet. All right, so what questions do we have here? What questions do we have here? All right, so Baranis says he never makes real plans. OK, well, that's another concern that you should have. Karen says you must dump him and walk away if you want a relationship. OK, so sometimes that's true, right? Like if a guy is seeing other women and you guys haven't talked about it, you should definitely not continue to see a guy. You should have that conversation. You should make sure that you're not continuing what you're doing, right? You want to give a guy all make, get him, give him all of his needs, getting, you know, making sure that he gets all of his needs met. If you're not getting yours met at all, right? And so you want to make sure there's a timeline to do this. And I talk about it all in the Forever Woman program. There should be a link above or below this video, or you can go to the foreverwomanformula.com. If you want to learn more about how to kind of set up that timeline and make sure that you're getting into the best possible situation that you can. Aries Aries says hello from New York. Love your videos. Thank you. You will. You are absolutely welcome. Karen says why would a strong woman be with a guy like this anyway? Well, a lot of times women don't understand what they should be doing, right? Like a lot of times one of the reasons why we exist is because parents, a lot of parents aren't teaching kids how things work anymore, right? A lot of parents are busy running around doing their own things, right? I grew up in a broken household where my parents didn't teach me anything. Literally the only things I got taught were by kids in my my neighborhood, right? Like the kids in my neighborhood basically taught me most of the things that I knew about life and I didn't learn more about life until I joined the military. And then I went to college and then I started actively looking for information on how to better my life and how relationships work. And so a lot of women don't understand how how this works. And a lot of women don't they don't even if they're strong women, they might not understand what it means to value themselves. And so part of what I'm doing here is educating you and making sure that you get into the best possible situation that you can so that you don't end up getting taken advantage of, so you don't end up getting hurt, so that the women that are in our community know how to get into the best possible situation that they can. My job is to empower you in the best way that I know how. And that's exactly what we're doing here. And so, yeah, I mean, strong women, sometimes they know, sometimes they don't. It depends on how they were raised, did they have any figures in their life? Did they have any women that that taught them about men and how men work and and all that kind of stuff? And if they don't, then it can be a challenge for some women. And that's that's why I exist. That's why we do a lot of this stuff is because I want to make sure that you get into the best situation possible. It's good for it's good for you. It's good for men. It's good for everybody. So Jackie Reese says, love your YouTube advice. Thank you. Thank you. Justine says, yes, he deletes calls after he answers. Well, that's that's a red flag right there. Carolyn said, it's called keeping you on the hook. I'm no one seconds. That's right. Shouldn't be anyone seconds. Karen says, walk away best advice. Yeah, I mean, it depends on the situation. A lot of times women are like, oh, you should walk away no matter what. And and it's one of those things where sometimes guys, they don't know that you want to be exclusive, right? There's a lot of women out there just so you know, there's a lot of women out there who don't want exclusivity. They want to run around and date a whole bunch of guys and and sleep with a whole bunch of guys and and a lot of guys are complaining right now because a lot of women don't want to get into relationships just like a lot of women are complaining that guys don't want to get into relationships because we live in this world of the hookup culture. And so you have to make sure that you're putting yourself into a good situation and you're having the right conversations because if you have the right conversation, you might be surprised that a guy might be a lot more willing than you realized to be in that kind of a situation that you want. And he just thought that you didn't want that because you never communicated with him what was going on with you and what you want and what you're looking for and having the conversation about what he's looking for and all that kind of stuff because a lot of guys out there, they're they're ready, right? And you can talk to some of the women in our community. They're ready right now. There's some women and this is kind of a red flag too. But there's some guys out there who are like, hey, I want to jump into a relationship immediately, right? Because they don't want to deal with this hookup culture dating world either. And so you just have to make sure that you're you're you're communicating in the right way and you're getting into the right situations. Justine says he wasn't hiding it from me. There's another woman who has access to his home. I think she's part of Narcissus Stable. I dumped and blocked him when it all added up. Well, good for you. You know, if there's a situation like that, you should just dump and block him. I mean, if if you're in a situation where you the best thing that you can possibly do, if you're in a situation like this where you haven't had the conversations yet is to pull yourself out of the situation first and then have that conversation so that you don't end up getting yourself into some kind of weird situation or you don't end up staying in some kind of weird situation where you end up feeling neglected and taken for granted and abused and all that kind of stuff. And you make sure that you're taking care of your own needs. It's your responsibility to make sure that you get your needs taken care of and that you get yourself into a healthy, positive situation where you're cherished and loved and seen, which is why I put together the forever for the forever woman formula, forever woman program at the forever woman formula dot com. I got to plug it a bunch of times. But it's a great program. The women that that are part of our community can attest to that. It's it's a great program. If you don't have it, you can get it for free. Go to the forever woman formula dot com. Watch the video there and pick up the program because it's it's a great program and it could change your life if you're if you're not sure what you're doing right now or you're getting yourself into situations that aren't working for you. OK, let's see what's next. Dude, so L scan says, do large hoop earrings in bed qualify than telling me he thinks I planted them to see if I could get him to confess to something? Yeah, I mean, that's some that that's some manipulative stuff right there. That's that's basically gas lighting right there. So yeah, I mean, that's a huge red flag. Caroline said, players, cheaters. Yep. Justine says, narcissists are a whole another. Been watching you. Yeah, you know, one thing you want to be careful about because my brother recently broke up with this girl who, you know, they'd been dating for a long time. I told him from the beginning that he was she was a woman that he didn't want to date, but he he started looking up narcissism stuff too on the internet. And now it's like what he found was that he started seeing narcissists everywhere, right? He started to figure out that it seemed like every woman that he met was a narcissist, and then he started to realize that most of us have some of those traits that people talk about when they talk about narcissists. We have women sometimes that will join our community and they'll just, you know, start saying anything, right? A guy pulls away, oh, he's a narcissist. The guy is ignoring me. Oh, he's a narcissist. You know, maybe not. Maybe he's a jerk. Maybe he isn't interested in you. Maybe he's, you know, doing something else has a different priority. It doesn't mean he's a narcissist. So I'd be careful on jumping on the narcissist bandwagon because a lot of people do that. And then next thing you know, they find narcissists everywhere and they think everybody's a narcissist. My suggestion instead is that you take a look at it and you say, OK, is this the type of behavior that I want, right? That I want to be treated as, right? Is this toxic behavior? Is this is this hurtful to me? Is this abusive to me? Or is this something that I do want to be a part of? Are these green flags or these red flags, right? And that's a much better way to look at things than trying to start labeling everybody as narcissists when you don't have any idea whether they're actually narcissists or not. It's just looking at it and being like, is this behavior that I want to be around? Is this something that that fosters a healthy and productive and amazing relationship that I ultimately want to be in? And if it doesn't, then my suggestion is that you get out of it. So lots of people get it. Remedy says, what if you are living in the same house? What if you're living in the same house? What's going on? Tell us about what's going on. Remedy fund, Remedy fund. Jess Fran says, the relationship was great until he started accusing me of messaging other guys. And when I reassured him, he'd say things like, you sound really happy when you talk about him, you should be with him. Yeah, I mean, there's a couple of different things. That's definitely a red flag. And there's a couple of different things that usually happen when a guy is doing that, either one, they're projecting, right? They're guilty of the behavior. And so they end up projecting it onto other people and it's you. Right. And so he's usually guilty of it and he starts projecting it on you. And you're like, what are you talking about? Or he's just really insecure and low self esteem. And he doesn't believe that he could be worthy of being in a great relationship where somebody really loves and cherishes him. And so he ends up just being like, no, you should you deserve somebody better. And he's a better person for you. And, and, you know, I couldn't imagine you loving me and liking me anyway. And that's just a space of insecurity where he doesn't really value himself. He doesn't really love himself. And so what he ends up doing is he just like just vomits on you. All of his nonsense. I do says I miss number five. I actually miss number five. So I went back up, please. So. So Karen, I guess this and when I asked him, OK, so what else do we have here? If he does this, he isn't a quality man. Let him go for the needy ones. Yeah. You know, my suggestion is that you start following like the things that I talk about in the The Forever Woman program, because the Forever Woman program is really about setting yourself up for the best possible scenario so that you get into a situation where you're loved and you're cherished and a lot of women come to me and they're, you know, they're kind of like stuck on a guy and they're like, this guy and he's doing this. And it's like if you're just dating and you're not in a relationship yet, you shouldn't be so attached to one guy who is or isn't doing something. And if you are that attached, there's something weird going on with with what's going on with you and you need to kind of take a step back a little bit and, you know, get to a space where you can see things from a broader view, because if if you're if you're out there meeting other men and you're talking to other men, you're not going to be so attached to whether this guy is responding to you or whether this guy is seeing other women or not. And you're going to be more focused on making sure that you get into a situation where a guy starts approaching you and pursuing you and chasing you and investing you in you, which are the things that you need in order to have a great relationship. And so there's a couple of things going on there. One is that you need to get your mind right. You need to get into a state of mind where you believe that you're a valuable woman and that you deserve a great relationship and you deserve to be cherished and loved. And another one is just that you need to make sure that, you know, you're you're setting yourself up in the right situation so that you're not you're not chasing after some guy and you're not totally attached to some guy who's behaving all weird and not stepping up to the plate and not pursuing the type of relationship that you want, which is what happens when a lot of women don't end up doing the things that I talk about is they end up just attaching themselves because they're like, you know, how do I how do I make this one guy? Because that's that's the only thing that they see. And so if they're not coming from an abundance of options and abundance of connections, that that's really what they end up experiencing. And so you don't want to put yourself in that situation. You want to be in the best possible situation that you can be. OK, so let's see. So Kathy, me says, my boyfriend is insecure and gets nervous when I'm on the phone. Anything I can say or do to prevent that from happening. Well, it depends on why he's getting insecure and nervous, right? Like if he's always getting insecure and nervous and it's something that just has to do with him and he has something from his past where he got hurt in the past. And so he's like worried and freaked out all the time. It's something that he has to heal, right? If he's just doing that because he's like, you know, like, we don't have that great of a connection and I'm not sure if she's really all in this, right, which is a completely different thing. One is kind of this internal thing in his head. And the second thing is kind of a communication thing, right? Where you're showing that you're all in. It kind of depends on which one, right? So if it's an internal thing, there's nothing that you can really do about that other than encouraging him to to heal and what not, which is something that he can only do himself. And the other thing is something that you do have some power over because you can start communicating that you really are all in on this, right? If you guys are in a committed relationship and you're communicating with him and you're letting him know that you're not going anywhere, you're letting him know that you're not seeing anybody, you're letting him know that you love him and you're all in this and you're, you know, communicating that to him on a regular basis and he feels that he feels that security with you. Then it, you know, that's a that's something that you can do, right? And if you do that and you find that he's still having those problems, then it's an internal issue for him that he specifically needs to work out. So Nadia says, I just jumped on this live. I want to know what is the difference between him seeing someone dating in us girls, dating others, we are told to date until we're exclusive. Yeah. And I still suggest that you do date until you're exclusive. And that's my suggestion is that you you date until you're exclusive and you don't hook up with anybody until you're exclusive, right? And that's the beginning of a relationship, really, right? That's that's really the beginning of a romantic relationship that that moves from, hey, we're friends or we're kind of just seeing each other to we're dating like we're in a relationship where we're we're seeing each other in a real relationship is that you go to physical intimacy. And my suggestion is that you don't get to that without without having the exclusivity talk. And so it's it's not any different, right? And most guys, if they're if they're smart, will be out there dating other women until they end up in an exclusive relationship. And you should be doing that, too, because that's kind of how things are in the West, right? There are some cultures in the world where that's not the case. You know, some some Eastern cultures, for instance, they like when you start dating somebody, it's like, bam, it's on, right? And that's kind of more old school. But, you know, if you live in the West, the way that the West works is that people date multiple people and you have to assume that everybody's dating multiple people until you've had that exclusivity talk. And so my suggestion is that you continue to see other people until you have that exclusivity talk and that you do have that exclusivity talk. Regardless of whether you do or don't like dating multiple people or not, it creates this experience of having abundance and so that you're not so stuck on one guy. And, you know, for some women, they don't necessarily need that because they're coming from a world of abundance where they don't get stuck on one guy. But for most of the women that I've talked to, that that's not the case. They're in a situation where they need that. And so it kind of depends on where you are. But my suggestion is that you date multiple people until you get into an exclusive relationship. Karen says, men always get jealous when they are doing the same thing. Well, not all men, right? Like, is that really true? Men always get jealous when they're doing the same thing that you've never experienced a man not getting jealous when you're doing something that he's doing, right? You know, maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. It kind of depends on the guys that you're seeing because a lot of women do the exact same thing, right? A lot of people, right? And and if they, like, are getting jealous, then, you know, you're just like, look, you know, I'm going to see other people until you want to get. Are you are you asking that you want to get exclusive with me? One is I don't think that you should throw it in a guy's face, right? Like, nobody wants to hear about you dating other people, right? Women don't want to hear about guys dating other people. Guys don't want to hear about women dating other people. So you shouldn't be throwing it in people's faces, right? And if he brings up the conversation and he wants to get exclusive and you want to get exclusive with him or or he's worried about you seeing other people, then you should turn that into an exclusivity talk. Like, are you bringing that up because you want to get exclusive with me? What you shouldn't do is be like, yeah, I'm seeing lots of other people. And, you know, that's just how it is. And, you know, what are you going to do about it? You know, like, that's not the way to do it, right? Because most guys will be like, why are you throwing this in my face? And it could be kind of hurtful if he has a lot of feelings for you. And so my suggestion is that you don't do that, but instead, you know, do keep your options open, but not, you know, so a lot of women think that they're doing it like when we suggest like dating multiple guys, they're like, oh, well, I need to be dating multiple guys so that I can throw it in a guy's face and make him want to compete for me. That's not why you're doing it. You're doing it for you. You're doing it for your own mindset so that you can be in a mindset of of abundance, not so that you can manipulate some dude into trying to compete with you, because that rarely works. If you want a guy to compete with you, don't try to make him compete with other men. Try to make him compete with your time, right? So that he steps up and, you know, if you're busy and you're like, hey, I've got a lot of things, but I'd love to hang out with you and I'd love to see you, just let me know, you know, and have your own life and have your own things going on and if he wants to compete to be more interesting and and take you off the dating market and and pull you in, that's what you want him to compete with. You don't want to be throwing dudes in his face because most women do it in the worst possible way and end up just turning guys off and pushing good men away because they're throwing other guys in their face and nobody wants to experience that. You don't want guys throwing other women in your face, do you? So Mary says, what if you have talked about getting married and he says that we are exclusive and I am his only one, but haven't did any of the other stuff? What other stuff are you talking about? JK35 says, what about being sexually exclusive with one man, but still circular dating? Well, my suggestion is that you don't do that. My suggestion, like I said earlier, is that you don't hook up with a guy unless you get exclusive. And here's the reason why the reason there's two reasons. The first reason is that most women end up getting emotionally involved with whatever guy they're hooking up with. It's very hard for a lot of women to separate hooking up physical intimacy and like hanging out with a guy and not making it like a committed thing where they fall in love, their emotions. It's hard for them to separate physical intimacy and like falling in love and emotional intimacy. And so what ends up happening for a lot of women is they end up closing themselves off to other men because they've been physically intimate with this guy. And so they fall in love with this guy and he's not really the right guy, but she's settling for him because she's falling in love with him because she's hooking up with him. And the next thing you know, she's in a really bad situation and she didn't know at this whole time because she's just falling in love and her emotions are skewing her thoughts and next thing you know, she's getting in heartbreak because she hasn't opened herself up to other people. And so my suggestion is that you don't is that you don't hook up with anybody until you get exclusive with them. And then, you know, like in and I keep hearing I've heard a few women say things like, oh, well, I've got needs. I've got, you know, intimacy, you know, I need to hook up because, you know, I need to get my needs met or whatever. You don't need to hook up to get your needs met first off. OK, there's other first off, if you if you have needs like that, there's other ways to get those needs taken care of. And two, that's not a need of yours. I like I ended up going celibate for a few years at one point because I was trying to get myself together and I didn't want to deal with the whole dating and relationship thing for a few years. And I went I went celibate. I mean, there's and if I can do it, you can do it for sure. So it's I don't think that, you know, I hear a lot of women saying that kind of thing. And I just don't I don't buy it at all. I think it's an excuse to to do something that that feels good at the time, but doesn't really serve them long term. So Sissy says, hi, Matt, got here late. Well, welcome. And I'm glad you're here, Sissy. So Caroline said, yeah, men aren't men and women are needy. Well, there's a lot of weird things going on in this day and age. Mary said real true facts. The parents nowadays are not teaching the kids anything. That's why they are wild and out of control. I mean, there's definitely not a lot of parents teaching kids anything these days. Caroline said, my dad raised me to be strong and a high value woman. But the men are so intimidated by me. Well, that's that's another thing all together. And I think I did a video. I think I did a live stream on if you intimidate men. Here's what you should do. And and usually guys are intimidated by women. And it's not necessarily that they're actually intimidated. A lot of times they're they're either turned off or they feel kind of this need to compete, which is is is kind of this masculine domain. And so. You know, that that's that's kind of the world that a lot of a lot of women kind of fall into when they're strong independent women is they fall into this world of kind of being masculine and trying to create this competition kind of thing or a guy kind of feeling like he needs to compete. And so there's a lot of things that can be said about that. I did do a live stream on it. And my suggestion is you go check that out. Ellen says, guy, I'm seeing, hasn't told me, told or introduced me to a family or friends, say, is a private man and doesn't need anyone's approval to see me. Yeah, I mean, it's not about, you know, I mean, that sounds like that could be an excuse because it's not about people's approval. You know, you don't care about somebody's approval of seeing you. It's it's a red flag that he's not showing you to his friends and his family because he's he should be proud of being around you and being with you. So Lynn says, yes, women need to start taking back their power and worth. I agree. Jennifer says, I can't call him and don't answer my questions about his real life. Well, that's a huge red flag. Mary says, a lot of women don't know that they that's why they do what they do. Yeah, a lot of women don't know what's going on. A lot of people, a lot of men don't know what's going on. A lot of people don't know what's going on. Lynn says, that's not real. Anti social. Jess says, thing were great until it ended the week before it ended. He pushed me away, taking several showers within one night, ignoring messages, canceling plans last minute, refusing to post online about me. Well, it sounds like there's a lot of weird stuff going on there, Jess, because it's like, OK, so the week before it ended, he pushed me away, taking several showers within one night. I mean, why would you even know that? Right? Like if a guy's pulling away from you, you shouldn't be like bombarding him with trying to figure out what's going on with him and why isn't he connecting with you? That's what it sounds like to me. It sounds like he pulled away and you started like leaning forward and leaning towards him and. You send him a bunch of messages, right? Because taking several showers with him one night. Why would you even know that? Right? If a guy pulls away from you, the immediate thing that you need to do is lean back. I have a video on that called how to lean back and get a guy chase you, get a guy chasing you. My suggestion is you go watch that. Yeah, I mean, taking several showers in one night. You shouldn't you shouldn't know that unless he's voluntarily telling you for some weird reason, ignoring messages. If he's not ignoring any messages, it shouldn't be multiple messages. Canceling plans last minute, refusing to post online about me. Why would he be posting online about you? You know, I mean, there's a lot of weird things in that message, Jess Fran. And there's a bunch of weird things it sounds like going on in your psychology and you need to look at that because if you're sitting here, you know, trying to figure out what he's doing and why he's not contacting you and oh, he's taking multiple showers and you're sending him multiple messages and he's ignoring these messages. You know, and and he's, you know, you're telling him he needs some post online about you. I mean, that that's weird, right? Like that's there's something weird going on with your psychology. And my suggestion is you take a minute and look at that and say, what's going on with me that I'm, you know, being so kind of clasping and trying to grab on to him and trying to figure out what's going on with him every moment of every day, because that's something that you definitely shouldn't be doing because that's not healthy at all. And so my suggestion is you take a look, a deeper look at that and try to figure out what's going on there with you and your psychology so that you can get into a space where you're not doing that because it sounds like you smothered him and he probably was running out because you're leaning forward and chasing and pursuing and trying to get him to do all these things. And he was probably like, I don't want to deal with this anymore. And, you know, I have no idea, you know, whether he's toxic or whatever, but you definitely need to start taking a look at yourself and figuring out what's going on with you. Karen says, but shouldn't the man be the one to propose exclusivity? No, absolutely not. You need if here's my suggestion and I've said this over and over again, do not hook up with him unless he agrees to exclusivity. If he proposes it beforehand, that's absolutely great. But you as a woman have the most to lose because of the way that hormones work. And you have this thing called oxytocin. And when you experience oxytocin, which happens when you're getting physically intimate with a man for most women, what ends up happening is over time they start to fall in love and start being bonded and connected. And it's different for men. And so my suggestion is that you don't wait for him to propose exclusivity unless you're waiting for him to propose it before you guys end up getting physically intimate. But if you're getting physically intimate with a guy, my suggestion is that you have that conversation because if you don't, you have the most to lose. You don't. You my suggestion is that you change the way that you think. And you start thinking about yourself as being sacred. And you start thinking about your time as being sacred. You start thinking about your energy as being sacred. You start thinking about your body as being sacred. Something that you're not just giving out for nothing. And instead you only get into a situation where you're getting physically intimate with a guy who is exclusive with you. And that that is your standard at the very least. There's other things that I also suggest that you do. But that is the very, very least. So Carolyn says fact hook up society for both sides. I have guys who want relationships, but no chemistry. Yep. Jess Fran says, then when I gave him the ultimatum, are you going to talk to me normally or do I need to collect my stuff? He assumed I ended it. Now, he probably based on what you were saying earlier, Jess Fran, it sounded like he was probably like, oh, thank God, you know, I'm just going to misinterpret what she's saying as her ending it and pretend like that's what she's trying to say, right? Because he was trying to end it at that point because it sounded like, like I said earlier, like you smothered him. Mary Johnson says, I have to be number one or nothing at all. I will not be any man's side check. I know my worth and I stand on it. Amen. Amen to you on that one, Mary Johnson. That is, I agree with you 100 percent on that. So Jan says, Matt, good morning watching from Singapore. Thanks for the advice. I really love watching your channel. Well, thank you for being here. Randy says my long distance guy goes out with friends and won't always tell me who won't text or call for days on end tags other women in post. But never me calls everyone a best friend and says he talks to certain people every day like everyone takes priority over me. Well, I mean, that that's a huge red flag. And my suggestion is that if you're actually in a relationship with him and you guys have seen each other and you're dating each other and you have been physically intimate with each other and you've agreed that you want to be in a relationship with each other, my suggestion is that you sit him down and have a conversation with him about this and just let him know how you feel and and talk to him about it and just see what's going on with him and how he's feeling and where he's at and have a real conversation. If you're not in a real like relationship with this guy and you've never met him before and you're not seeing him at least once or twice a month. Then you know, you're you're not actually in a committed relationship where you guys have talked about it. Then you're it's it's something that you're you shouldn't be involved in anyway, because this isn't this this isn't healthy. That's not healthy for you. That's not a relationship that you want to be in. And so that's that's what I suggest for that. Carolyn says, know the red flags and trust your gut. That's right. Adessa said that word is so overused and misdiagnosed by internet psychologists. Exactly. It's exactly my point, Adessa. Nadia says, I will ask my question again. What is the difference between women's circular dating and men? Why is it? Why is men seeing others a red flag? But we should date it's not a red flag if you guys are an exclusive. It's not a red flag, Nadia. It's not a red flag if you guys aren't exclusive. If you are exclusive, it's a huge red flag. And if you're not exclusive, then what are you guys doing? And that is the common that that's the truth behind it, right? That's that's the answer to your question. If you have any other questions about that, let me know. Tracy Sparks says, you just need to treat people, male or female, the way you would like to be treated. Katrina says, I've been pretty much single for over six years. I've dated a little bit, but I've realized that we do not kiss. I like I love kissing, but it's also extremely intimate. I'm guessing I'm asking if it's normal. If if it's normal that I'm so you've dated, I've dated a little bit, but I've realized that we do not kiss. I mean, it depends on, you know, where you are in dating, right? What it means that you're dating somebody, but you don't kiss. Like, are you guys doing anything else that's physically intimate? If you are, then no, that's not normal. And if if you're not, then it might you might beg to question if you're actually even dating somebody, if you've been seeing somebody for a while and you guys haven't even kissed yet. Jess Fran says, I tried to get him back. I drove two hours to talk to him and he shut me down when I got there and drove off, not heard from him. How do I move on from someone I thought was the one? Yeah, you need to do some healing, Jess Fran. You need to spend some time and rebuild your value. You need you need to build your self-esteem up. And the best way that you can possibly do that is start finding and focusing on a passion and developing a skill around a passion so that you become confident and capable at something. Because that's that's really what makes you feel high self-esteem. The best thing that you can do to make yourself feel high self-esteem is to find things that you want to create in the world and go and create those things. So whether it's volunteer activities, whether it's your work, whether it's hobbies, whatever it is, my suggestion is that you find some things that you want to work on and you go and work on those things and you develop skills and you become good at things and specifically you become good at creating what it is that you want in your life. That's how you you get over is you shift your focus from this guy and what's going on with this guy and poor me and poor all this stuff. And you start becoming healthier. You start becoming stronger. You start building your life up and you start taking care of yourself. That's the the fastest way that you can do it. So Remedy Fawn says I'm living with my boyfriend and I love him so much. But he's always making late night calls when I am sleeping and he always keep his phone away from me. We have been together for two years. I mean, that's definitely a red flag. So DJ says I was going to meet an old high school friend and he kept canceling or delayed our meeting numerous times. I said, I think I need to step back as he had a lot going on. And I cared for him, but too many cancel. DJ said he then blocked me on social media. When I asked, is there something he needs to tell me, men plays words with his with friend with me? I find this strange. Yeah, strange for sure. Jake said, J K says, how do you let a guy know you're not just dating him, especially if he's not stepping up and you'd like him to? Well, you're not going to get a man. I mean, there's certain things that you can do to indicate that you'd like a guy to step up, right? One is kind of this framing thing. And I talk all about this in my love frames toolkit. And basically what it is is you frame things in a way that you talk about stuff in a way that you're talking about how it's attractive, like you're like, hey, it's really like I think it's really attractive when a guy does this, right? I think it's really attractive when a guy does that or if he does something that you is in alignment with what it is that you want him to be doing, just remarking on it and stopping and making a remark about that and being like, wow, that was that was really hot when you did whatever. Right. And that lets him know that you want him to do more of that kind of stuff, but you're not going to make him like he has to actually start stepping up. You can give him things to do, you can ask him to do things, you can reward him for doing things and indicate that that's something that you are attracted to and that you like, but you're not going to force him to do it, right? And so how do you let a guy know you're not just dating him? So you don't want you don't want to let him know, right? That's not your job to let him know that you're not just dating him. Like this is what exactly what I was talking about. A lot of women are like, I'm not just, you know, they take this thing about, you know, dating a bunch of guys, circular dating, and they're like, oh, how do I tell, you know, how do I tell him about it? And that's not what you're trying to do. You don't want to tell him about it. What you want to do is you want to date multiple men until one of them steps up. You're not dating multiple men and telling them that you're dating multiple men so that one of them will step up. What's more likely to happen when you do that is they're going to be like, oh, you know what, you can, those guys can have you if you're going to throw that in my face, I don't want to deal with that. Because what they're, what they think when you start throwing things like that in their face is they start thinking, OK, so this is, this is going to be a pattern that I'm going to experience for the right. I mean, it's possible. There's there are a percentage of guys that will be like, hey, why don't we get exclusive, right? But they have to be really confident guys that are really sure of themselves. And, you know, they're really sure that of what you're going to say to them. So one of the things you have to realize out there is that a lot of guys are doing the same thing that you guys are doing right here, right? They're like, OK, there's this girl that I like. How do I get into a situation where she wants to be exclusive with me and she wants to bring up the exclusivity talk and she wants to commit to me and she falls in love with me and she decides that I'm the one, right? Guys are doing the exact same thing. Go check out some of the men's dating websites and men's dating YouTube channels. It's literally the exact same stuff over there. The guys are looking for the same things. They're looking for text messages. They're wondering why women pull away. They're trying to figure out how to, you know, navigate through the hookup culture that's going on in the West right now. You know, it's all the same stuff. And so you have to realize that he's like he wants to make sure that he's not screwing things up with you. And so what he'll end up doing is he'll try to play his cards right. And if you're coming up to him and you're throwing guys in his face and telling him about these other guys that you're seeing and all this other stuff, for him, he's like, OK, you know, if he's smart, he's like, OK, that's a red flag, right? Like she's throwing a dude, other guys in my face or whatever, right? And you're thinking of it like, oh, well, guys like competition, guys like challenges, I want to throw this in his face so that he'll feel like he needs to compete. And that's not how guys work, right? He needs to feel like he wants to do this and he needs to feel like it's safe and that's why you can you can give him these indications and you can talk about how attractive it is when he does these things and you can tell him that you're feeling how you're feeling and stuff as long as you're doing it from a place where you're not throwing expectations out on him. And what will end up happening is he'll feel like he wants to step up and start doing these things and he'll feel like he wants to come together and you bring up the exclusivity talk and he's like, yeah, absolutely. I'm down for that right now. Let's do it, right? And you guys get into this relationship where it's totally on and you're just like, you know, and if there's anything outside of that, it can whirlwind into crazy land. And so you want to make sure that you're setting yourself up for the best possible situation and you're not, you know, throwing guys in his face and creating your own red flags because you think men work a certain way that they don't work. And so you just you just want to set yourself up in the best possible scenario and you can frame things that it's attractive and that it's hot, but you don't want to throw it in this face. That was kind of a that was kind of a long rant there. So I hope I answered your question there. So Meenal says, you're the best relationship coach out there. I really appreciate all the in-depth analysis you provide. Well, thank you for saying that. And I'm glad that you appreciate all the in-depth analysis. Karen says, never make him your entire world. Keep seeing your friends and don't always be available. Yeah, I mean, create you should never, ever make him your entire world. Sometimes I get these women who will be like, oh, I gave him everything. And usually they give them everything, but they're doing all the wrong things when they give them everything, right? And what they end up doing is men need some space. Like it's the scarcity principle. It's something I talk about in-depth in the forever war. The scarcity principle, right? Like why why does somebody that why do people value diamonds? The reason that people value diamonds are the same reason why men value women, right? Because they're in high demand. People desire them a lot, right? And they're scarce. They're difficult to get. It takes a lot to earn them, right? And so you want to be like a diamond and a diamond isn't everywhere, right? Why aren't rocks, why aren't regular rocks as valuable as diamonds are? Because they're everywhere because I can go outside the house right now and go pick up a giant bag of rocks, right? Because they're everywhere. But diamonds aren't diamonds aren't all over the place. And that's what a guy's looking for. A guy's looking for a diamond. He wants a woman that he feels is special, that he feels is different, that he feels he's earned and that he's proud to have. And that's what you want to be for him. If you want him to feel like you're the kind of woman that he wants to be with forever. And the best way to do that, you guessed it, the forever woman program. Go to the forever woman formula dot com and check it out. Oh, yeah, nailed that one. All right, what do we got next? Melissa says, how do you handle it? If you are not exclusive, but know that if he was to find out, you are seeing others, even though he isn't, it would push him away. Well, the first question is how far in are you guys? Are you guys physically intimate with each other? If you are, my suggestion is that you stop doing that until you get exclusive and you do that immediately. If you're not dating other, if you're not physically intimate with other people, then what you want to do or if you're not physically intimate with him, then what you want to do is you want to wait until he starts pushing it towards that, because as the man, he should be pushing it towards that. And before you end up getting into that situation, you want to bring it up and start talking about it and create an agreement between the two of you that you're going to be exclusive with each other and then it won't matter. Right? And if he asks at any time before he starts pushing it that way, if he if he like starts asking you like, hey, are you seeing anybody and you want to be exclusive with him? All you do is misinterpret what he's saying. Right? It's this this principle of misinterpretation that I talk about, which is you want to misinterpret what are you saying and make it mean? Be like, why are you why are you asking that? Are you are you asking because you want to be exclusive with me? Are you saying you want to you want us to be in a relationship together? Right? And what that does is is it creates that conversation about being exclusive and being in a relationship. And so if you do that, that's it works out really great. That way. So OK, I hope that answered your question. So Janelle says, how do you confront him if you find proof by going through his phone without him knowing? So what what exactly have you found? Right? So if it depends on where you are and what's going on with him, right, and what you found. So if you found that if you're in an exclusive relationship, you guys have talked about it, you know that you're in an exclusive relationship. It's it's been established and and you go into his phone and you find naked pictures of girls that he's hooking up with in his phone or you find conversations where, you know, they're talking about hooking up or whatever. Then my suggestion is that you get out of the situation completely, immediately if you're not exclusive and you're not in a relationship, then you need to have the exclusivity talk, right? And assuming that you guys are physically intimate with each other. You know, it's amazing how much would work, how great things would work out. If everybody had the exclusivity talk before you got physically intimate with each other, Janelle, I'd need to know more about your situation, what you found, what's going on, you know, before you know, like, what do you what do you know? And what kind of a situation are you in right now? Laurie says, trying to understand in 2020 that younger men are so attractive to me, been talking to a man I'm 22 years older than him. Is this a new trend in the younger men? And could this work? Yeah, I mean, there are women in our community who have gotten married to men who are 20, 30, 40 years. I think I think the biggest distance was like 40 years apart or something. But, you know, there's definitely people that have gotten married to people that are much younger and you still want to do all the same things, right? You still want to do the exact same thing as what we talk about in the forever woman program. And, you know, you just want to make sure that you're getting into a good situation, that the guy is pursuing you, that he's stepping up and all those kinds of things and guys absolutely love older women, right? There's a lot of reasons why guys like older women and a lot of it has to do with younger women, you know, not knowing what they want and being confused and playing games and the hookup culture and women who are older tend to, you know, have be more established. They know what they want. They have money. They're not, you know, being reliant on men anymore. And so, you know, a lot of women who are younger, they want a sugar daddy and they want a guy to take care of them and all that kind of stuff. And sometimes guys don't want that and they want, you know, an attractive woman who's older than them, who has it all together, who knows what she wants and who's ready to have a real relationship. And so that's definitely something that you just, I mean, just, you know, own your value, own it, own the fact that you're attractive and that, of course, a guy who's 22 years older, younger than you is attracted to you because you're an awesome, amazing woman who deserves to have a great guy. And, you know, all kinds of guys are going to be attracted to you because you're you're awesome, you know, and do it from a place where you really believe it and you're not doing it from this kind of fake because I don't really believe it, you know, and all that kind of stuff. And if you do have issues with that, one of my suggestions is that you start reworking what's going on in your mind. And you can do that in the forever woman program. I talk about that a lot. The chickie LaLa says number two on the top, number one on the sides. I actually went to this barber today and I was just like, you're right, number one on the sides, exactly. But I didn't have them touch the top at all. I just had them blended in because I ended like I went to a really cheap barber today because I had been to a whole bunch of really expensive barbers and they kept butchering my hair. And so I went to this person that was cheap and they did exactly what I told them to and I was like, oh, OK, well, I think I'm just going to go to a cheap barber from now on because like you go to some expensive barbers and they're like, all right, this is what I'm going to do to your hair, you know. All right, that's a tangent. All right, Elskan says, you know, just break up with him. Don't tell him why. You know, it's one of those things when people like break up with people, they don't tell him why. Like, you know, I never suggest that you ghost guys. I never suggest that you get revenge on guys. I never suggest that you do any of those kinds of things because it's not. It's not healthy, right? And it doesn't help things out, right? If you hurt people, it's only continuing the cycle of hurt people, hurting people, and then that person is going to be more hurt and then they're going to hurt somebody else. We need a lot more healing going on in our society right now and a lot less people hurting each other. So you all know. All right, so let's see here. So a lot of women come to me because they want to get into a situation where they are loved and they are cherished by a great guy who, you know, just sees them for exactly who they are and wants to get into a committed relationship with them. But we kind of live in this world today with the hookup culture. A lot of guys are kind of pulling away. There's a lot of ghosting going on. There's a lot of kind of abuse going on. There's a lot of women getting into situations that aren't really healthy for them. And, you know, understandably, this makes a lot of women confused. It makes them doubt themselves, you know, doubting their own value, their own self-worth. Many of them feel like they want to give up on dating. They want to give up on men altogether. And if you're having a really difficult time right now in the dating world, it's not your fault, right? Like we live in a culture that encourages superficial relationships and discourages anything that's meaningful. And it shouldn't be like this, right? It shouldn't be like this. And I believe that there's a better way to get into and stay in a committed relationship that lasts in a better way to connect with men. And that's why I put together a proven path that will help you get into the relationship that you've always wanted. It's called the forever woman. And it's there's a three part plan for you to be successful here. One is believing in your own value. Two is positioning yourself in value. And three is communicating your value. And if you're interested in learning about how to do this in the most effective way, there's a link either above or below this video, or you can go to the forever woman formula dot com, go watch the video on that page and sign up for the free course, the forever woman program. And if you get the forever woman program and use the principles that are in it, you'll attract a great guy who loves you and cherishes you. You'll pursue you for a committed, lasting relationship. You'll do less work and you'll feel more appreciated and valued by your man. And if you don't do it, you'll just continue to get the same stuff that you've always gotten. You'll stay stuck in whatever your problems and challenges are with men, you'll feel like you're doing everything in a relationship only to be taken for granted, have guys pull away and eventually disappear on you. You'll wonder if you're ever going to get at the relationship that you really want. And that's not what I want for you. And I don't think that's what you want for yourself either. A lot of the women that use, you can usually tell the women that are using the program because women who aren't are usually stuck on one guy. And what's he doing? And, you know, is he doing the right things and all this stuff? And the women that are using the program are usually like, I've got these guys pursuing me and this guy wants to marry me and this guy's asking for an exclusive relationship and I'm not sure which guy to connect with and all that kind of stuff. And so if you want to get into a great relationship, my suggestion is that you go and pick up that program, go to the foreverwomanformula.com. Thank you so much for being with me today. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your journey. We have the most amazing women in our community. And so thank you so much for being here. I really, I'm really honored to be a part of this and I'm so honored by so many women from all over the world coming and listening to what it is that I have to say and taking my advice to heart. And we've helped so many women get into great relationships. Many of them have gone on to get married. So thank you so much for being here and I will speak with you again soon. So talk to you later.