 The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Yilder Sleeves. It's the Great Yilder Sleeves starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Yes, it won't be long now. The counters are stacked. The department stores have issued their final ultimatums. A tradesman in a Santa suit lurks behind every Christmas tree. His pistol cocked, ready with his Christmas message. Stand and deliver your money or your life. Grow-on-ups begin to wear that hunted look as they feel the holidays closing in upon them. But the children, hey, hey, cheeks are flushed, hoax are high, talk is merry and a little wild. You know, we have the craziest uncle. I mean, really, he's a scream, but so nice, isn't he, Leroy? Yeah, he's okay sometimes. It's so funny. Every year about this time, he gets us together and he looks very solemn and he says to us, children, I'd like you to sit down for a minute. I just want to warn you, we're going to have a very small Christmas this year. Santa Claus is very poor, hey, so I don't want you to expect too much. And Christmas morning, oh boy, everything. We'd like you to sit down for a minute. Yes, Anki. Where's your brother? Have you seen him? Birdie, have you seen Leroy? He's out in back. Ask him to come in for a minute, will you? Ask him to come in for a minute, will you? He's coming. Yeah, does he have to slam it? Yes, I suppose he does. Looking for me, Anki? Leroy, I'd like to have a little talk with you and you're... Where did you get that cat? Isn't he a beauty? He's a monster, get rid of him. Oh, he couldn't keep him. I expected that, the answer is no. Well, Anki likes me, he's fond of me, Anki, see? Leroy, if we tried to accommodate all the animals you claim are fond of you, we'd be living in a Noah's Ark. Oh, but gee, where? Now, you had a dog two Christmases ago and you didn't take care of him. That's why he ran away. I told you then, no more animals. But, Anki, I'm older now. You're no more dependable, not one whit. What's a whit, Anki? Don't try to change the subject, get rid of the cat. Oh, God, take care of him, he wouldn't be any trouble. It isn't a he, it's a she. You want a bet? He, she, or it. Now, get rid of it. I want that cat out of here before he becomes an issue. Every time I let you play with some animal for five minutes, we have to have a whole great big thing about it. Now, put him outside. Okay. Cat's too big anyway. Is there anything I can't stand as an overgrown cat? I don't mind kittens. They wouldn't grow up into cats. You like Esop? Esop was a very unusual cat. This cat is ordinary. Tell her just by looking at him. You wouldn't say that if you knew him. Let's not have any more talk about cats, shall we children? What I wanted to speak to you about is Christmas. Here it comes. Now, Christmas will be here shortly and I think I ought to warn you. I know what I want. That's not the Christmas spirit, my boy. The spirit of Christmas is in giving, not getting. Oh, I'm going to give you a present, don't worry. March two. I'm going to give you both super presents. If you ever pay me the allowance, you owe me. Do I owe you money? He owe me a dollar and a quarter. Well, remind me about it. Remind me some other time. You can't give till you get, you know. I haven't got it on me right now. Some other time, Leroy. Okay, but don't blame me if you're disappointed on Christmas. That's just the point I'm trying to get to, my boy. The best way to avoid being disappointed on Christmas is not to expect too much. This year I'm only going to ask for one thing. That's all I'm going to ask for is one thing. Just one thing, that's all. One thing. Yes. That's good because this year Santa is really going to have a tough time. Just one thing, that's all. Just one thing. He's really going to have a tough time. You see, with prices as high as they are... That's all I want is one thing. You might as well ask him what it is, Uncle Mort. Do you want to know? No. But what is it? A motor scooter. A motor... You mean one of those... Yeah. One of those little red things you ride around on. Like a motorcycle only better. They're a lot safer. Uncle and kids can ride them. They hardly burn any gas at all. Leroy, those things cost $150. They do. At the very least, maybe $200. Gosh, that's the only thing I really want. I'm going to want one of those ever since I can remember. I guess I want a motor scooter more than anything else in the world. Now be reasonable, Leroy. Don't get your heart set on something that's impossible. Craig is going to get one. Who said so? Craig. Craig is a great big... Craig is a little boy, Leroy. You can't believe everything he says. Just the same, he's going to get one. He said so. It would be just like that four-flusher-buller to give his kid an expensive toy like that. It wouldn't be so expensive, Aunt. Craig and I have got it all figured out. When we get our scooters, we can do all kinds of things. We can deliver papers. We can run errands for people and charge them for it. While the scooters will pay for themselves in a couple of weeks. Oh, kiddin'. Think it over, hey, Aunt? Leroy, I want you to forget this whole idea. Do you understand? Just forget about it completely. Okay, I'll forget about it. I mean it. I've already forgotten about it, Aunt. It'll be just as... I'll be just... Listen, you don't seem to get the idea. How can I... I'll have you children know that I'm not made of money. Do you understand? Sure, sure. Marjorie? I don't care what I get, Aunt. Anything you decide, I'll be grateful for. That's the spirit, my dear. Leroy, why can't you be more... Me too, Aunt. Anything at all will be okay with me. Anything at all. Well, it won't be a motor scooter you can bank on that. Just get that out of your head right at the start. A motor scooter is out of the question. Understand? Yeah, sure. Okay. They're not only expensive, they're dangerous. And besides, they're expensive. Everything's expensive. Now we're contributing to the orphanage out there. Little Christina. That'll have to be our main Christmas. We've got to cut down. Motor scooters are out. You understand? Yeah, sure. They're too expensive. Who wants a motor scooter? I mean it, Count Founders. Don't wake up Christmas morning expecting to see one out of the tree because there won't be one. Do you get it? Okay. Is it all right if I go out and play now? Count Founders, when I say I mean it, I mean it. All right, go ahead. Thanks, Aunt. Thanks a lot. Oh boy, I got so crazy. You know, I don't think he believes me. What are you grinning at, Marjorie? Uncle, you're so transparent. Transparent? What do you mean? You overdo it. Now, two years ago, Leroy wanted a dog. You told him 50 times if you told him once that a dog was out of the question. So on Christmas, what did he get? A dog. Well, sure. And last year it was a set of drums. For weeks, you kept telling him they were too expensive. And all the time you had them hidden in a closet. No wonder he's on to you. You've got to keep quiet about the scooter. Listen, I mean it. Do you think I've got $150 to throw around? Uncle, you're a darling. A dog. But you couldn't fool a fly. There's a Christmas kiss. I'm going straight upstairs. Now I'm wrapped in presents. She doesn't believe me either. How am I going to kill this thing? Birdie! Yes? Birdie, I positively will not buy Leroy a motor scooter. No, sir. I want to go on record before at least one member of this family is never ever having the slightest intention of doing so. You're my witness. Oh, shut up. You trust me, Mr. Gilseed. I ain't going to tell him. You know yourself, P.V., getting such expensive presents as that isn't good for a boy. It could ruin his character. No, I wouldn't say that. Why are you suddenly so concerned about Craig Bullard's character? Because, confounded if Craig gets a motor scooter, then I've got to give Leroy one. That's all. I can't have Leroy disappointed on Christmas while Craig goes chugging up and down the street. A little show off. That's my problem, P.V. It's hard to disappoint Leroy without disappointing him. Well, how do you know Craig is going to get a scooter? I don't. That's what I'd like to have you ask Mr. Bullard, if you will. Why don't you ask him? Because. I threatened to punch him in the nose last week. Him too? I told him to stay off the property. He told me to stay off his. You seem to be narrowing the circle of your acquaintance these days, Mr. Gilseed. Well, never mind. Will you do as I ask? I don't know. It's a small enough favor, for heaven's sake. But it's none of my business. I just can't say to Mr. Bullard, what's this I hear about you giving Craig a high-price scooter for Christmas? No, no. You don't have to do it that way, P.V. Just be tactful, be casual, and sneak up on it. How? Well, well, for instance, you could look out of your window and say, well, there goes a boy on a motor scooter. By the way, Mr. Bullard, what are you giving Craig for Christmas? Don't think it didn't work. Why not? Well, suppose no boy went by on a scooter. Ye gods, P.V., you could pretend you saw one, couldn't you? That would be an untruth. I know, you just don't want to ask him. Mr. Gillespie, I'll tell you. A man who will run a drugstore will do almost anything, but you have to draw the line somewhere. And when it comes to snooping, even a farmer... All right, forget it. I'm sorry I asked. Uh-oh, Mr. Gillespie. Yes? In case I shouldn't see you in the meantime, Merry Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas. That's all, Eve. I just wanted to return your play-doh. Darn interesting book. Thanks for lending it to me. You're quite sure you finished it. Oh, yes, yes, I'm finished with it. I'll be glad to have you keep it a little longer if you... Oh, no, no, thanks. I think I've gotten all I can out of it. Oh, say, there was one other thing. Do come inside. It's so cold out here. Well, just for a minute. It's about these motor scooters the kids are riding these days. They're very dangerous contraptions. Motor scooters? Yes. I've been thinking it might be a good idea, Eve, if you pass the rule against any motor scooters at school. Well, none of the children have motor scooters, Throckmorton. Not that I've seen. I know, but some child might get one. You know, a Christmas coming on? Some of these poor flushers that don't know anything about bringing up children might be... Well, I couldn't very well pass the rule against something that hasn't even come up. Now, could I? Well, you're the principal, Eve, if you just sent a note home with the kids, no motor scooters, you know, before Christmas, before it's too late. You might be doing somebody a favor. Lee Roy wants a motor scooter. Is that it? How'd you know? You're so easy to see through, Throckmorton. Women are always claiming they can see through me. Why is that? My own niece, I get the very same thing from her. Marjorie is a smart girl. Am I so dumb? Well, I don't think you always understand children very well. I'd like to know who understands them any better. Listen, I'm on to them every minute. Well, maybe so. But if you want to get Lee Roy's mind off motor scooters, I don't think the way to do it is to tell him he can't have one. No? How then? Convincing there's something else he wants more. Get him so interested, he'll forget about the scooters. Mike, George, there's one thing I'll say for you, Eve. You've got sense. Well, thank you for the compliment as far as it goes. Well, that isn't all you've got either. I'm afraid that was an afterthought. I'll show you whether it was an afterthought or not. Another time, Throckmorton. Always putting me off. You've returned the book and you've told me what you really came for. Now, was there something else? We'll make it awfully tough for a fella. Well, goodbye, Eve. Goodbye, Throckmorton. Oh, say. Yeah? In case I shouldn't see you. In the meantime, I, um... Are you looking for something? Too early for mistletoe, I guess. Well, just have to come back, that's all. Goodbye, Eve. Goodbye. Well, goodbye. Goodbye. Well, let's see, you said about Leroy. Get him interested in something else. Is that it? That's it. Yes, I got that straight. Well, goodbye, Eve. Goodbye. I'd better get out of here. You'll be seeing through me again. Goodbye. Goodbye, Eve. The making of a really fine mayonnaise as every expert homemaker knows calls for a great deal of skill. Only choice ingredients may be used, and they must be blended with the utmost care for perfect velvet smooth texture. Now, it isn't easy, but Kraft has mastered the art. Try famous Kraft kitchen fresh mayonnaise and see for yourself. Yes, although miracle-flip salad dressing continues to be scarce because of the sugar shortage, Kraft mayonnaise is once again available and in reasonable quantity. Fine salad oil is more plentiful, and your food dealer should have a fair supply of Kraft mayonnaise soon, if not already. With its delicate homemade flavor, its creamy, satin, smooth texture, mayonnaise by Kraft is glamour for any salad. Only fine salad oil, selected eggs, fragrant vinegar and spices go into it. And as a final crowning touch, genuine fresh lemon juice is added. Then a special beater patented by Kraft is the secret of its marvelous texture. Yes, it's good news. Kraft kitchen fresh mayonnaise is once again available. Well, let's see now how Gilder Sleeve is coming in his negotiations with Leroy. Strolling out into the backyard, he finds Leroy hard at work in the garage. This isn't like you, Leroy. Well, I'm just trying to clear a space here. Oh, space for what? Well, in case I get anything for Christmas that I need a space for. Ha, ha, ha. Say Leroy. Yeah? I've been thinking about what we were talking about the other day, about Christmas. You mean about a scooter? Well, no, about Christmas. There's one thing you've never asked for, Leroy, and I'm surprised you have it, because gosh, I should think it would be an awful lot of fun. That's a train. A train? You mean an electric train? Sure, they're more fun than a barrel of monkeys. They have wonderful trains now. They have switches and tunnels and automatic switches and whistles and everything. Regular little trains. Think what fun you and I could have when we build a railroad together. A miniature railroad. Would you help me? Help you. I'd be up there playing with it every evening. And Saturdays and Sundays as well. See, that would be super. We could make a bridge. Sure. We could have wrecks. Yeah, sure, we could do anything. We could be in time educational and instructive. Just think, on rainy afternoons, Craig would be sitting over there looking out the window unable to ride his scooter, and you'd be up in your room with your train having the time of your life. Oh boy, would Craig be sore? He'd be wanting to play with my train all the time. Bad chance. He wasn't smart enough to ask for a train for Christmas. That's his tough luck. Hey, I just remembered. I've got a train catalog. It's pigs, but he lent it to me. I'm going to look at it together. Shall we, Leroy? Pick out the stuff we need. Okay. Yeah, come along. Couplers and locomotives that puff smoke even will Craig be sore. I'm going to clean everything else out of my room and just have trains. I better keep the room locked when I'm not in there in case of the kids. You can play with it any time you want though, and the signals, they have automatic signals. Pretty excited, aren't you, my boy? Tell you what we'll do. You can be the engineer, and you can be the fireman. Oh, no, I'm the engineer. You can be the conductor. All right, Chief, whatever you say. You're the boss. Board! Where's the catalog, Leroy? Maybe it's under this stuff. You sure you had it? Or else could stand a little straightening up, Leroy. Here it is, honk. Let's sit down here among the debris and look at it together. What have you got in your bed there? I sat on something. Oh, it's my toy tank. That's not a very good way to take care of it, Leroy. I don't need it anymore. What the heck? The war's over. I certainly hope you'll take better care of your train than that. Oh, sure. I'll take good care of it. Ah, good. Let's see here now. Let me show you. Here's the locomotive I like. The big one, honk, you see? Hudson-type locomotive, real headlight, automatic reverse, firebox, glow's red, accurate in every detail. Thirty, seven, fifty. Then here's the tender that goes with it. That's the coal car. You see, it has a whistle gadget built right into it. Eleven, twenty-five. Let me look at that book, Leroy. Sure. Scale model passenger cars each eight seventy-five. Remote control switch six fifty. Automatic crossing gate four fifty. Complete Hudson flyer train outfit. Includes locomotive, tender, three passenger cars sixteen sections of track, two switches a hundred and a... here. Where are you going? No place. You know, Leroy, when you come right down to it the toys you have the most fun with are the toys you make yourself. What do you mean? How would you like a set of tools, my boy, if you're very own? Right. The trains, the trouble with trains you play with them a few times and then you get tired of them. Now, if I got your train, why next year you'd have completely outgrown it, my boy. Be just kicking around here, getting busted like all this other stuff. Just make you feel bad. Now, I think it'd be much more sensible if... Leroy, are you listening to what I have to say? What do I want with tools? But if you had tools of your own, my boy, you're very own. You're too big a boy for trains and kids stuff like that. I'm not so big. But just think, Leroy. Tools. You could make things. Tyrax. Tabarets. Some fun. All right. You're going to be like that about it. If you won't cooperate, we'll just forget about Christmas. That's all. We'll just forget all about it. There'll be no Christmas. That's all. Christmas is for people who cooperate. We'll just give Marjorie all the presents. That's all. That doesn't somebody say something. Would you like some more of something, Mr. Guilty? No, thanks, Brady. Where's Leroy? He's in his room. Did you tell him I said to come down? Yes. All right. He can just go without a supper then. He said he didn't want any. He's in bed. In bed? Mr. Guilty, I know it's none of my business, but when a boy don't want to eat, I don't... No, Brady. I'll handle this. Yes, sir. Leroy is in bed, you say? Yes. No, that's too bad. Confounded. Why does Christmas have to come up anyway? It just makes for a lot of trouble. A lot of hard feeling. Hopefully Leroy didn't take me literally when I said there wouldn't be any Christmas. Poor little fellow. After all, he is just a kid. He's probably up there crying his eyes out. Maybe I ought to run up and speak to him, huh? What do you think, Brady? Why don't you do that, Mr. Guilty? Yeah. Will you excuse me, Marjorie? Certainly. But I don't know that Leroy will. Uh-huh. Go up and see, yeah. I'll put this back in the oven and keep it warm for you, Mr. Guilty. Don't bother, Brady. I don't deserve it. Poor little tyke. I'm too hard on the boy, that's all. I don't mean to be. It's Christmas, that's what it is. It's your old Uncle Leroy. Mind if I come in? Well, you don't look particularly heartbroken, I must say. Oh, well, I'm okay. I just thought I might as well go to bed. After all, I have to go to bed sometime, hey, Uncle. Huh. What's that you've got in bed with you? Nothing. Come on, come on. Now what is it? Oh, nothing. Come on. You want me to pull off the covers? No, really. I'll show you both of my hands. Look. Leroy. I'll be honest. But he climbed up on the roof and begged me to let him in. Leroy? Oh, please, he hasn't got a home. Would you like to keep him, my boy? Keep him? You mean it? We'll see. You think you'd rather have the cat than a train, Leroy? Oh, boy, would I. You'd rather have him than a set of tools? Are you... Okay, Leroy, you may keep him. Oh, thanks, Uncle. You're a super. Hey, this cat's crazy about me. No kidding. I'm going to teach him tricks and everything. That's a very valuable cat, you know it? Well, I'm glad you're pleased with him, Leroy. And by the way, I want to apologize for shouting at you the way I did. Oh, that's okay. I guess your old uncle gets off his trolley once in a while. Who doesn't? I make mistakes myself. Oh. Now, why don't you slip on your bathrobe and come down the supper? Bring the cat. Liberty Hall Christmas comes but once a year. Who came any oftener, we'd never live through it. The Great Gilda Sleeve will be back again very shortly. Well, these are busy days, all right. Christmas shopping, planning meals to say nothing of holiday entertaining. So it's good news, I know, that famous Kraft kitchen fresh mayonnaise is back. You'll never again bother to make your own once you try it. Kraft mayonnaise, you remember, is the superior mayonnaise sure to bring compliments wherever it's served. It has a truly distinctive flavor that comes from the choice ingredients that go into it. Fine salad oil, selected eggs, fragrant vinegar and spices, and as a final touch of perfection, fresh lemon juice. Choose it always for delicate, just right flavor and for marvelous texture. A special beater patented by Kraft gives Kraft kitchen fresh mayonnaise a creamy, satin smoothness you could never accomplish in your own kitchen. You'll be proud to serve Kraft mayonnaise. It's once again available in reasonable quantity. Now, if you put them away, what are you doing there? Making something. Oh, making something. May I ask what it is or is that telling? It's something for the cat. Oh, well, that's a good idea. The cat. What is it? A house? No, it's not a house. It's a box sort of. Oh, cat box. No, well, no, it's not a box, really. It's a cat on the back of my motor scooter. Who apart does any part to be on the safe side? You know. Nuts. Right back where we started. Only now we've got a cat. Night folks. Gilder Slave is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley as LeRoy, Louise Erickson as Marjorie and Lillian Randolph as Bertie. Richard Legrand as Mr. Peavey. This is John Lang saying goodnight for the Kraft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Slave. Plenty of rich, velvety, smooth ice cream. Any flavor you like, always on hand. 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