 Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim, Alhamdulillah wa-salatu wa-salamu ala ash-shab-il-anbiya'i wa-al-mursaleen. Sayyidina wa-mawlana wa-habibra Muhammad, salallahu alayhi wa-salam, wa-ala alayhi wa-sahb, wa-salam ta-slim, katira. Again, salamu alaikum, rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, everyone. Alhamdulillah, thank you for being here. How many are here for the first time? I've never been here before. Okay, awesome. Well, welcome. I'm very happy to have you all here. Masha'Allah, you'll find that because we do these monthly, it's kind of like a revolving door, but I'm perfectly fine with that because that's the reason why I do it monthly. I know as women, we are usually juggling and all over the place, and there is the live stream option when you're not here, so feel free to come as you are whenever you can, but I'm happy to have you here tonight. We are reading from a text together called Purification of the Heart, so how many people have this book at home? Okay, awesome. How many people have actually read it? Sometimes I know I love books, so I collect them, and unfortunately I don't read all of them. I haven't read all of them yet. I pray that that's my retirement plan. I was going to finally read all the awesome books that I've been gifted or given. Alhamdulillah, this is a book that if you've read it before, then you know it's something that you can keep revisiting to be honest, and you should because the process of the ski is something that we have to be tending to just the same way like you would a garden. You don't just put the soil in, water the plants, and then just leave them to themselves. You don't have to go back and check on them and make sure they're okay, and there's a sunlight good, there's kind of adjustments right here and there. Similarly, we have to tend to our spiritual hearts in the same way in that there's too many things in this dunya that can corrode the heart, so we have to constantly make sure it's okay, right? If you look at just the intensity of this dunya, all of the things that's going on globally with everything that's happened in the past two and a half years, there's that aside just with the trajectory of many of our lives, right? We enter different phases, so once you're out of the garden of Eden of childhood and you suddenly emerge in this world and you realize that it's a place that's heavy, right? There's a lot of responsibility, there's a lot of stress. I was just speaking with a therapist the other day and she was saying that stress is now one of the morbidities amongst youth, that they could have a lot of things going on in their life. In terms of having parents involved and financially stable homes, schooling, all of that could be fine, but they still have this immense problem of stress, and you think, hmm, what could they be stressing about? But it's such an intense time and also by the nature of the dunya is a place that it's actually designed to do that to us. It's designed to make us very uncomfortable, and because Allah swt does not want us to be comfortable here because this is not our final abode. So that's why we have problems and that's why we have problematic people in our lives and disruptions. Routines are hard to sometimes maintain because life happens, but when you have something that kind of anchors you, which is why, Alhamdulillah, we have to be so grateful for the blessing of Islam. When you really think about how chaotic things are and then you see all these people who don't have faith, to me I'm just like in a constant state of thank you, Allah, thank you, thank you, because I feel like we have life jackets on, right? We don't only have life jackets, we have ropes, we have a tether, we have a line that is still tethering us to something stable, and even if we're floating into the waters of Dunya, that feeling of being safe is really just such a gift because there are a lot of people who just simply don't have that. They don't have a family foundation. They don't have either a culture or a tradition or a faith that helps them make sense of all this craziness. So we really have to just take immense pause to say Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, thank you, Allah, for the gift of being Muslim And just keep repeating that, even not necessarily verbalizing it, but internally because that awareness of your state of gratitude will help you to keep priorities straight and also when things get overwhelming, know what to do, which is of course turn to Allah Subh'ana Wa Ta-A'la that we go to prayer when we're in those states, we turn to the book of Allah. And then in our time where we can really have time for self-reflection, this is a book that we should have. So if you don't have it, I highly recommend getting it because it's kind of like holding up a mirror to yourself, you know, when you are looking at your own reflection, you can suddenly start to see things that you might not have noticed before because you were too distracted. All the fine lines and wrinkles which we love to see the spots, like yesterday was it? Yeah, you know, it's amazing. I mean, I had this little spot on my hand and I have no idea how I got it. So it was troubling me all day yesterday. So I was like, you know, what did this come from? This little circular round spot and I'm pressing it going, I don't really feel like it's tender. Do they accidentally bruise it? So I was like trying to figure out what happened to my hand that this happened. But in many ways, it's just, you know, it's just another sign of this life. Life happens, I might never know. But similarly, we experience these changes even externally, internally. So this is giving us a mirror to our internal states. And so we're going to read today on the disease of the heart of hatred. And I want you to, as we read these pages, this is exercise that I have always done. I am very self-reflective. So I try to read with each word or each, you know, point with, you know, that, that, you know, just personalizing it and trying to, you know, see where I am with respects to what it's being said. So try to do that. Don't think of other people because it's natural to want to think like, oh, I know someone who's got this disease, you know, but this is a time for us to think about ourselves. And so part of the healing process of pesquia is that you really are open to the idea that you're potentially full of diseases and you're seeking to self-diagnose so that you can cleanse yourself. So don't let the ego distract you by thinking of other people, which is a very common tendency when we read books like this. So the way that the format is is, you know, it's a book that's translation of an Arabic classical poem. So there's verses that Sheikh Hamza has translated for us, there's just a couple verses, and then he gets into the commentary. So we'll read this and then we'll pause. And if you feel at any point that you have like, you know, something to contribute or a question, please feel free to jump in. I want this to be, you know, a dialogue between us, inshallah. So hatred. Another disease is hatred for other than the sake of God, the exalted. Its cure is to pray for the one despised. This is with the understanding that you have not done wrong if you are repulsed by the hatred you harbor and do not act in accordance with it, which it would be to harm the other person. So these are again translations of the verses and now the definition and further commentary on the treatment. So the next disease is hatred or an Arabic bullet in itself. Hatred is not necessarily negative. It is commendable to hate corruption, evil, disbelief, murder, lewdness, and anything else that God has exposed as despicable. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam never disliked the essence of anything, but only what something manifested. So hold a thought right now. Think of the things that you could categorize as something that you hate. They're not the people, inshallah, but the things that you hate. And I want you to pay attention to your thoughts and what's the first thing that comes to mind? Anybody want to share? Injustice. Okay, so you hate injustice. Like it fills you. Injustice, that's an excellent answer. Hating injustice. Anyone else? I see. You mean satanic verses? Yes, satanic verses. So we're making it clear we don't wish harm on the author of that text, but we hate the text. Very good. So yes, any disparaging of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, we should hate, right? With our full being. Yes. The smell of pork? Wow, I'm surprised. I'm amazed that you can distinguish. Like you mean bacon? Like, because that's the only pork that I would even you know. So the smell of pork. Yeah, it will it. So you'll leave. You have your hand? Oh, okay. Sorry, I thought you had it. Anyone else? Yes. You hate some of the political movements that are taking over our world at the moment. We all know how divisive these movements are. Yes, very strong fighting and argumentation. Like when you see it between people and individuals, just the idea of dishonesty. So when someone betrays your trust, you hate that. Very good. Yes. Very good. I think we can all collectively agree. We hate nefak, right? Hypocrisy. When someone presents one way, but then is entirely a different two faced kind of an individual. I think everybody's on board with that. So when I think of this word, the first thing and it's always been the case I feel like that comes to my mind is anything to do with the harming of children. I hate it. And I think if I were ever to lose complete sanity and do something violent, it would be upon someone who aggresses upon a child, especially in a really heinous way, any type of abuse at all. So that's just something that fills me up. So it's good to know, right? What's what does your mind or heart speak or think of as soon as you hear certain words and terms, right? So it's good to know that about ourselves. Hatred or strong dislike of a person for no legitimate reason is the disease of God. So now we're getting more specific because as was mentioned, right? The Prophet's son didn't dislike the essence of anything, but only what some when something manifested, especially if it was hateful or hate, you know, that it was something that God also hated or condemned, right? In that case, we should anything that Allah hates, we should hate, right? Anything the Prophet's son hates, we should hate. When it comes to individuals, there's a very clear distinction here that it has to be for no legitimate reason. So think about again, have you ever harbored negative animus, rancor, hatred towards someone unprovoked just because they rubbed you the wrong way, you didn't like the way they looked, right? Because some people can get very petty when they let their, you know, ego get the best of them, they can be very petty and start to think just these awful things about individuals, unbeknownst to them, completely innocent. That's where suspicion and a lot of other diseases emerge. But think, have I ever had feelings like that, like hatred, where I could really say like, Oh, I can't stand that individual. And it could be someone that not necessarily you know, right? Think of celebrities, right? How many of us are like, Oh, I don't want to see that person ever again. I know there's a lot of celebrities that trigger people to have that, or politicians, right, that have certain lifestyle choices, yes, that we don't agree with, and you see them parading, pun intended, their lifestyle, right? Then it makes you feel, you know, certain feelings towards them. And you know that we can talk actually about that because, you know, on an individual level, we have to think about, is that, is that okay to hate an individual, we can, you know, as I say, hate the sin, not the sin, right? So the Prophet said once said to his companions, do you want to see a man of paradise? A man then passed by and the Prophet said, that man is one of the people of paradise. One of the companions of the Prophet said and wanted to find out what it was about this man that earned him such a commendation from the messenger of God, so he decided to spend some time with this man and observe him closely. He noticed that this man did not perform the night prayer, the vigil, the Hajj, or do anything extraordinary. He appeared to be an average man of Medina. The companion finally told the man what the Prophet said about him and asked him if he did anything special. The man then replied, the only thing that I can think of, other than what everybody else does, is that I make sure that I never sleep with any rancor in my heart towards another person. That was his secret. So rancor again is depatriate. So he had the ability to, you know, process and purge those negative feelings and made sure that when he would retire to sleep, his heart was free of all of those feelings. So now I want you to again take it back to your own practical sort of application of this. When you're angry at someone, when you're upset with someone, whether it's a co-worker or someone in the family or maybe, you know, immediately in your family, right? Your spouse. Sometimes we can be very angry with the ones that are closest to us. Do you allow for yourself to go to sleep with all of those feelings in your heart? Or do you have a way of making sure that those things are, you know, dealt with and that they're out and you've processed them, you've spoken about them, you've tried to reconcile, what is your process? Because I think it's important to think about why did the Prophet's of all the people point this man out? What is he trying to communicate to us, right? He's telling us that this is a virtue to deal with your anger and not let it corrupt your heart. And specifically the fact that he talks about letting it, you know, I mean, reading his heart, you know, before he, you know, every night, right? The fact that he does that, I think that's also another really important thing and before he goes to sleep. Because what's the risk of not doing that? That could be your last transaction with another creation of God. That, you know, in some people, I mean, they have full on, you know, like, it gets really ugly. So if you're cursing and really foul and you're just so angry, and that's not to say that the cause, the source of why you're angry isn't legitimate, you could very well have a very legitimate grievance and a real serious problem that you're trying to communicate. But it's the fact that you let the anger consume you to such a degree that the very last words that you spoke were full of hatred and maybe even wishing harm, right? Because when people get lose comportment completely, they can actually curse. And I'm not talking about cursing as in curse words. I'm talking about condemning people to hell or even worse, you know, wishing ill for them. And so that being your last transaction, that's a huge risk that none of us should take, right? How many of you have ever known someone who lost, I mean, their life in, you know, during sleep? Like didn't wake up, right? Right? And I am one of my closest friends in her 30s. That's how she went. So it's very real and age has nothing to do with it. If Allah wishes to take someone, he can take someone at any age. So these are the realities that we have to deal with that we don't want these feelings to consume us to that point that it's our last again record. The angels are, you know, the pens have lifted because we're now asleep. Yes. Yeah. Not being able to forgive is a little different, right? Because ranker is when you really just have this hatred that isn't, there's no real like resolution to it. It's just sitting, it's a kind of like you're wallowing in this negative or stewing in this negative emotion. Whereas when you have a grudge, like I said, it could be just that, you know, there's lingering feelings, maybe you haven't had closure. There could be a lot of different, you know, factors that don't necessarily mean that you're just this person who refuses to let go of negative feelings, right? Because sometimes it's just like the opportunity, maybe you're waiting for the other person to own up to their mistake and then you'll be able to forgive them. And until they do that, you hold a grudge. But obviously if you have, you know, negative feelings that that lead you to think really badly of someone and wish ill for them, then yes, you're kind of playing with fire there. So I think it depends on the situation. But this would be, you know, a deep, deep feeling of hatred that's not really resolved. And maybe you don't even have any plans to do anything with it, but just feel those feelings. I mean, that's that's a real cautionary tale for all of us to really think about how to protect us from ever falling into something like that, where where you could be so blinded by your anger and hatred that you would make a statement like that wishing someone to die. And then it actually happening because that's a vision. I mean, that's, you know, how can you overcome that the level of guilt and responsibility for something like that? I think we consume any person, right? And then, you know, this reminds me of the verse in the Quran, where Allah says, perhaps you love a thing and it's, you know, bad for you or you hate a thing and it's actually good for you. And so the fact that now her only memories of this person are all positive. It's almost like another, you know, part of her tribulation that she has to deal with the guilt of what she did and on top of that, be reminded of every reason that she should not have ever made a statement like that. So may Allah forgive us. And I actually know similar situation of something like that happening where we're such deep, deep anger and hatred for towards someone led someone to wish death upon another person and that person died. So it's not something that I mean, it happens all the below. Yes. So again, it really depends on, as we remember the first line we read, there's no legitimate reason. So that means that there are legitimate reasons, right? To hate someone like abusers, people who oppress you. So there are legitimate reasons where we would have these negative feelings towards the person. And if you've tried to deal with those feelings and they're still lingering and you're still kind of working on them, then, you know, that that and it bothers you, right? As the poem versus said, then that's a sign that it's not a disease of the heart, right? Yeah, if you possess these feelings, but you don't want to, like you have maybe someone again hurt you and you want to be able to forgive, but you just aren't there yet that you have to be gentle with yourself because, you know, some people simply don't deserve that. And maybe that's why we have a day of judgment, because all the records, you know, are going to come out and everybody's going to have an opportunity to get the justice that they want or that they sought. And maybe it's Allah is the one who's, you know, waiting or or or not, you know, he's he's going to give you that sense of justice that you seek on that day instead of in this life. So you're kind of still dealing with those emotions. But I think the point is here are two things, right, that we don't have hatred for people without just reason or legitimate legitimate reason. And even if we harbor certain feelings that we are uncomfortable with it. And I think if you're on a spiritual path, your goal ultimately should be to try to work towards forgiveness and moving past it. And I say this not because it's not about the other person, right. Sometimes when we think of forgiveness, we think like we have to do it for the other person, but it's actually not. It has nothing to do with them. It has to do with you. It's like you want to rise above and not, you know, have these feelings that consume you, distract you, preoccupy you. And it's almost like dead weight that you're ready to just cut. And that's how you want to look at, you know, like lingering hatred or just, you know, whatever those feelings are. And it could be again, for a number of reasons. But it's like, I want to just let it all go because I don't want to be bogged down by those feelings. So I'm doing this as a purification for myself, as a release for myself. And those words don't even have to ever be communicated with that other person. Because as we mentioned, the cure for hatred is to make dua for the other person, right. That if you want to get rid of these types of feelings, whether it's for again, someone who's harmed you or is on continuing to harm you, it's to be empowered, right, with dua that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala can remove those ill feelings by you taking the higher road. And again, not for their benefit, for your own benefit, right. Exactly. That's a powerful quote, right, that hatred, rancor, all these feelings are kind of like consuming a poison, and you're harming yourself, but you are thinking that it's somehow going to affect the other person. And it's a human, I think we just, we're, you know, it's something that may feel like you're empowered when you have those feelings, but ultimately you're the one being consumed by them, right. That's a very good point, because I think that leads us to think about boundaries, right. You know, when we've been hurt by people before, in order again to protect ourselves from them ever impacting us, again, what are the boundaries that we can create, you know, whether that means limited communication, and just no, or no access whatsoever. You know, we have to kind of think about how can I take the measures in my own hands so that this person never does whatever they did to me, you know, before. And that's where we also can find some empowerment, but I, I think it's, that's a, you know, that self-preservation kind of, you know, instinct is very natural for a lot of people, right. It's like I need to hold on to this, because then what if they try to worm their way back into my life somehow, and I have a blind spot, and all of a sudden I'm back to square one. So I think that's, that's a very understandable position. But I think where we're lead or where we are, where we want to turn to is really kind of, you know, as I say, letting go and letting God, right. Like Allah, exactly, that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is going to purge these feelings from our heart, and he's also going to protect us from this person's harm, and, you know, being vigilant and taking all those precautions to make sure that they don't have access. All of that combined, and also with experience, we grow, right. When we're young, we're in experience, that's where a lot of, we're vulnerable. But as we age and grow older, we get wiser and we start reading people better and we're, you know, our ability to kind of see harm coming is I think a little bit more acute. And then we're able to protect ourselves and all of that is from, you know, Allah, so it's grace from him. So I think, you know, we're finding the balance. Each person's going to have to really, you know, explore their feelings. But ultimately, as I was saying, the reason why we look at this as a disease of the heart is because when it's without legitimate cause and we're just sitting there feeling these negative feelings for someone, we have to see that as a reflection of our own diseases. That that person is not doing anything that, you know, warrants this repulsion. But it's you, your ego, and it's really rooted in the ego. Because when the ego starts to think of itself as better than other people, right? That's when this sense of superiority will allow it to start to look at other people in this way where it's like, I just look down on them. I don't like them. Why do they do things like that? I can't stand. Like I've heard, you know, over my lifetime, oh, I can't stand her voice. And it's like, that's like, how can you blame someone for the way Allah created them or their look? You know, these are very petty, nafsi things. And this is what we're talking about. But like legitimate abuse, legitimate forms of oppression, harm that's come your way, you are permitted to work on your heart to get to a place of release and forgiveness at your own pace. And we turn to the Prophet's license example as, you know, when he, as we know from the seerah, you know, his uncle, beloved uncle Hamza during Ahad was mutilated and killed and slaughtered. And it was a full on terrible, you know, death that he, I mean, of course, he's a Shahid. But in terms of what happened to his body, you know, Hend, who is not a Muslim at that time, she later became Muslim and her slave Wahshi, who she sent to do this, you know, to, I mean, back then they used to mutilate the body so that he actually took out his liver and then she bit into it. It's a pretty gruesome scene. But the Prophet's license, even after they both converted to Islam, had a difficult time with them. You know, everyone else, you know, it's like Sahaba, but with them there was a little bit of a distance, you know, because he was reminded every time he looked at them, although he knew that Allah forgave them. They were jahud, you know, they were in ignorance. It was not something that, you know, so he's a human being. So we can take permission from that and say, I need time to process and I also should enforce myself, you know, when it's real serious cases. Yes, absolutely. Wow, see the way the human mind works, right? And you're absolutely right. Hatred can absolutely come from, I think all forms of superiority are actually rooted in ignorance, but also tend to be rooted in inferiority when you get to the core, right? That's a prime example, disliking people for being more beautiful. And this is also where we get envy. So it's like a combination of different diseases of the heart. And it's unfortunate, but you know, you have to look at, like these are all symptoms of, you know, of societal diseases, right? That then affect us and infect us, spiritually speaking, because we live in a time where these things are so rampant. You know, we are pitted against one another, especially as women, right? And then you're seeing obviously all these other forms of oppression that just, you know, work to cause these types of negative feelings towards one another. So we are in a way victims of circumstance, but then that's why looking in front of the, you know, in the mirror and forcing yourself to see your own pathology and like, what is the root of this? Why do I really feel these things is how we uproot these diseases, right? But if we just kind of go along with them because they're what's normal or nobody has ever pointed it out to us, right? So I'm glad that you were in communication with her because you can then point it out to her. Maybe it never occurred to her, but it's actually, you know, really an inferiority of hers and she needs to work on that, right? And maybe, inshallah, she'll come out of that if she hasn't already. But these are, you know, again, the ways that we overcome these things is by paying attention to them. And that's why, you know, going back to this text, it just, it allows us to think about ourselves in a very introspective way. So the cure for hatred is straightforward, right? One should pray for the person toward whom he feels hatred, making specific supplications that mention this person by name, asking God to give this person good things in this life and the next. When one does this with sincerity, hearts mend. If one truly wants to purify his or her heart and root out disease, there must be total sincerity in carrying out the treatments and conviction that these cures are effective. Arguably, the disease of hatred is one of the most devastating forces in the world. But the force that is infinitely more powerful is love. Love is an attribute of God. Hate is not. A name of God mentioned in the Quran is al-Wadood, the loving one. Hate is the absence of love and only through love can hatred be removed from the heart. In a beautiful hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, none of you has achieved faith until he loves for his brother or he loves for himself. The 13th century scholar, Imam An-Nawawi comments on this hadith. And he says, when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says brother, we should interpret this as universal brotherhood, which includes Muslims and non-Muslims. For one should desire for his brother non-Muslim that he enter into the state of submission with his Lord. And for his brother Muslim, he should love him for the continuation of guidance and that he remain in submission. Because of this, it is considered highly recommended and divinely rewarding to pray for a good, for a non-Muslim's guidance. The word love here refers to a desire for good and for the benefit to come to others. This love is celestial or spiritual love and not earthly or human love. For human nature causes people to desire harm to befall their enemies and to discriminate against those who are unlike them in creed, color or character. However, men must oppose their nature, pray for their brothers and desire for others what they desire for themselves. Moreover, whenever a man does not desire good for his brother, envy is the root cause. Envy is a rejection of God's apportionment in this world. Thus one is opposing how God meted out sustenance in accordance with his wisdom. Therefore one must oppose his own ego's desires and seek treatment for this disease with the healing force of acceptance of the divine decree and pray on behalf of one's enemies in a way that suppresses the ego, the nefs. So it really comes down to, back to this point that when we feel these deep feelings towards other people, there could be a myriad of reasons but at the root of it, if it's, there might be other diseases as well like it could be that there's envy there, jealousy, it could be also that we are, you know, unable to again get past superficial things that should not really be so meaningful to us. And, you know, as was mentioned, that we're dealing with our own inferiorities and insecurities and we're just projecting that onto other people. So all of these reasons go back to the root which is the ego. And so I just wanna make sure that it's clear because this disease is specific to like having feelings without a just reason, right? Which is very different than everything we've been talking about like when you've been harmed by people. So that's where you wanna look inside and say, do I, is there maybe not an individual but maybe is there a group? Because we live in a time again where of identity politics, right? So your group that you affiliate yourself with, if you have a group that you think is a threat to your group, maybe you feel something towards those people, right? And you have to kind of think back like, is it fair to collectivize, demonize, right? All people. Like nowadays, one of the things that we're seeing which is really difficult is to navigate because there's so many, it's such a political issue, is what's happening between men and women, right? Aren't we seeing that in our culture? I feel like there's so much now aggression between men and women. Whether it's talking about relationships or abilities and skills and just equality, whatever the conversation is, there's this resentment that's coming from both, right? That's why we have the incels on one side or a red pill as they call them from the men's side. And then we have the super, like, really strong feminist leaning, what are they? Radical feminists. Radical feminists, yeah, exactly. Radical feminists who really just despise men and speak about men as if they are the core of every evil in the world. And so you have these two ideologies in a way just emerging and a lot of our youth are picking up on these, right? They're talking points that are sometimes parroting them. On social media you see a lot of this stuff, but it's also coming out unfortunately in our community spaces, right? Where when we talk about marriage, for example, I've now heard from many people that people are losing interest, right? On both sides, like, men don't wanna get married to women, women don't wanna get married to men. We now have so much distrust. It's like, let's be suspicious of each other. Where did all this come from, right? This is all Iblis. And Iblis knows that if he exploits our insecurities, that he can just cause these divisions. And this is divide and conquer classic example, right? So let's just destroy what should be a complementary relationship where we're uplifting each other, where we're upholding each other and just look at everybody with this lens of distrust. And so that's between the genders and then you have between certain racial groups, right? That's, we're on this rise now. There's a lot of race-baiting happening, right? Where everybody's kinda looking at people with different prejudices. It's like we were going back in time. We worked so hard to get away from all of these prejudices and discrimination and all this stuff. And now we're going back and people are becoming more and more separated, you know? And you're seeing that. So how does this happen? It's because our natures are being exploited, right? And it goes down to the root cause, which is the nefs. We saw it even in the past two and a half years with the vaccine debate, right? Did you see the amount of anger? Like people were ready to just cancel everybody, let them lose their jobs. I don't care. They're ready to put people in internment camps if they weren't getting, it was just insane, the level of anger and hatred that all of these things brought up. Yeah, conversation. Yeah. The rest of the world is like, oh, they're putting in, they're talking to you. Exactly, a lot of, there were a lot of weird conversations, but I think if you were on social media, like it was just so intense at times. I'm like, wow, how did we all start turning against each other? It's because our fears are being exploited, right? And so that's where, you know, again, looking at our society and current zeitgeist, everything that's going on, it's important to kind of pay attention to how these things are being used as tools almost, right? Like what social engineering is, it's basically getting, I mean, media is very good at this, politicians, they know what they're doing, it's election season. So they want all of these crazy emotions to emerge and they want to kind of play us. We're like pawns in their game, but we have to be better about knowing what does our Lord call us to? And that's where, you know, addressing our biases, really paying attention to why we think certain things about people, whether again, it's groups or individuals and always being more critical of our own selves, right? Like that's the way that the believer is thinking. They're not laying fault on other people, you know? So even for example, let's say, because I know now unfortunately these things are real, but let's say there is someone in your family who is known to be violent, maybe they have an anger management problem or maybe they are an alcoholic. I know, I can think of right now several examples of this, you know, people that I know. And when they speak about these people, they actually hate them because all they feel is that this person has destroyed so much, you know? Addicts tend to, you know, addiction spread, right? They usually take over the entire family system, right? We have social workers here and other people in the field that know that it's not just something that affects the individual who is addicted, right? It's systemic. So everybody that is in that person's life tends to be touched by their addiction. So there are people who just can't deal with it and they end up having such resentment and such animosity. And they are the, I know people who have literally wished death upon family members because they're like, all they have done is ruined our lives and they just do nothing good. There's no positive contribution. So they allow these feelings to kind of take over and we have to be reminded again from a spiritual perspective, as we said in the beginning, that we're called to separate the sins of the individual and to see the disease for whatever it is, you know? A lot of these things are learned, right? Violence is learned often. Children who grow up, I mean, it's cyclical sometimes, not in every case, but in many cases, you know, violence can be cyclical. So if a person is raised in an environment where that's all they knew, then they likely, unless they have intervention or, you know, come out of that, they may repeat those cycles. So it's like if you can find it within yourself to practice that empathy, to see that that person, you know, may have had a complicated, you know, life that I don't know about. And I saw like a really cool video earlier today, which I thought was, sometimes a lot of people come up with these really great ideas, but it was this young man and he had, there was no dialogue. He just had, you know, like a script. But on the video, he holds up two lighters, right? And he's like person one, person two, and they're both like, you know, they have a flame. And then he takes one of the lighters and he puts it in a cup and then he pours water. And each time he pours water, like a little blurb comes on the screen that's like, you know, abuse, you know, some other like problem, you know, social problem or problem that that person suffered. And, you know, when he takes the lighter out, it doesn't work, you know. And his point was like, you just don't know what in life has happened to people trauma that has put out that spark, that, you know, that zest or that zeal, that flame in that individual that makes them now, whatever they are, whether they're harmful, whether they're just not really fun to be around, you know, we just don't know. And sometimes, you know, that's I think, where our Dean reminds us like, Allah is the ultimate judge and you have to suspend judgment. So when you see yourself suddenly starting to feel these feelings towards other people, you have to talk to yourself and say, wait a second, I really don't know what that person's context is. I don't know why they are the way they are. I can sit here and be reactive to an incident I had with them, an exchange I had with them and isolate them to that one moment in their time or I can be more empathic and say, you know, maybe they just have a lot going on that I am not aware of. And it's not on me to judge them. I leave them to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and that's how I think we can protect ourselves, right? From falling into these types of traps where shaitan will just, again, make us fixate on one thing and we then let our senses go, right? Which goes back to, you know, what we talked about in previous sessions like Imam al-Ghazali's real awesome breakdown of the human being. You understand the human being as a triune, right? Possessing three and eight qualities which is the intellect, the akal, the emotions and then the appetites. What he does in using that framework is to say, what is leading you? You know, are you an intellectual? Are you, you know, someone who's trying to always rationalize things, right? And understand it in this way of like, the grand picture, the grand, you know, the bigger idea or do you let your emotions, your, what, he has symbols or, you know, he has these analogies for each one. The emotions he uses as a hunting dog, right? Because he's like, your emotions, you have to look at them like they have to serve you, right? And so a hunting dog has to be trained and it serves you. But if you don't train that hunting dog, just like if you don't control your emotions, it's like letting it loose, running a muck. How is that helping you? And that's what we are in right now. We're in a world of emotions, right? We're in a world of people just feeling a lot of things and everything's about feelings. It's like constantly people are triggered and angered and it's like, at what point do you say, why am I so easily triggered? You know, why am I allowing people to constantly push my buttons? You know, how did they get access to my buttons? You know? That's when you think back on like, what can I do to prevent myself from being so reactive or activated all the time? So the emotions are leading a lot of people and or the appetites. So as our teachers refer, we're in a world of a lot of dog people and then the analogy he has for appetites is a pig, right? So it's like the world is rampant with dog people and pig people. So everybody's serving their appetites, eating, consuming, just constantly gluttonous in every which way. You know, that's where we're seeing a lot or they're just angry and reacting to everything without any rational thought, without any consideration of like the bigger picture or consequences or anything like that. And we as Muslims are called to rise to be the people of Akkad, right? Our dean is a dean of literacy or a dean that reads intelligence is important but if we also forego our intellects and start to be just as angry or just as consumed with our appetites, we are no different than everyone else. And how do we stand out then, right? We're supposed to be leading the way but unfortunately we've adopted the same habits of just foregoing intellect, not factoring like, you know, how is this impacting me? As we were told, right? When you hold resentment in your heart, you are the one that's bothered. That person is likely not even giving you another thought. Here you are just foaming. Every time you think about them, you're driving, you're just like, ah, how is that serving you, right? So that's why our attention is drawn to these are not productive feelings. Let them go and know that there is a day of judgment that God will give you justice. If you feel someone's slighted you, someone's harmed you, someone's hurt you, then have to walk in that none of that. I mean, that's why we have the hadith that say even the horned animal will be called, right? To speak about what it did to the animal that didn't have horns. Allah is constantly letting us know that nothing will be lost. Not an atom's weight of good or evil is lost. But we're not using our intellects when we wanna take matters into our own hands or when we're sitting with those feelings and not realizing that they're actually destructive to our soul, right? So that's what we're called to do is rise, yes. Yep, yep. Exactly. So what's driving that impulse? When you want justice now, what is driving that impulse? The ego, but what is it, which part of us? Right, it's the enoughs and it's those emotions, right? Or the appetites, like I am entitled to justice, I want this right now, so it's not the aqa, right? Exactly, and it's on Allah's time, right? That's the thing, Allah will distribute justice however he sees fit and some people will get it in this life partially, but there's more to come. Some people may look like they've come out unscathed. And I've talked to people who've been really wronged and when they look at the person who's wronged them, they have a very difficult time reconciling. How did that person, they seem to have gotten away with it and this is a real flaw in our thinking and we should never entertain that idea. It's from Iblis because if you believe in justice and that Allah swt, nothing escapes his knowledge, then you should not think that an individual, just because outwardly they look like they're unscathed or nothing is happening to them, that they are not gonna be held accountable. Sometimes it's delayed and in fact, that's actually much worse for them. So if you really want your justice, you're gonna get it because when Allah swt tries a person in this life or gives them justice in this life, it's also an opportunity for mercy for them, right? Because any justice that we have in this life is far better than even a moment in the next life. Like if your justice is delayed there, you're in trouble. That's why we have to recalibrate the way we look at problems, right? Because when we have problems in this world, you can sit there and again, wallow and have a very what we call a worldly lens, which is like, oh, this decision inconvenience, why me, why me? And you just, you're very myopic. You only see the problem. But if you have another worldly lens, a metaphysical lens and you understand that, wait a second, so in the justice of God, sometimes he'll test us in this world to purify us from past sins and past deeds. Okay, so now I have a total redefinition of the tribulations that I'm going through, right? I can start to see things with a clearer lens and not react in a way that may call into question whether or not I'm truly a believer, because we have to believe, like when we're always clamoring for justice and we're willing to even push the boundaries, right? And we saw that during just this past couple of years when people are rioting and they do things, they're willing to push for justice to the point where they're themselves now the aggressors and causing harm. That's like you've just lost the plot, like you're not even thinking at this point because there's no justification for causing harm. You can't say, I want revenge or I want justice so much that I'm gonna go and blow up these people or do this or do that. We don't believe in that. That's taking matters into your own hands and that comes from a place of insecurity, right? When you want to exact justice, it's because you likely think that there isn't gonna be any other justice. But when you believe in a day of judgment and then you're like, okay, I'll just wait. Allah is the best of planners. And to be honest, compared to your justice, what would be a better form of justice? Like, just think about it, you could cook up the best plot against whoever but would it even compare to a fraction of what Allah's product of justice would be? No, so it just doesn't make sense to go down that path, yes. I mean, and that's also speaking volumes about your faith and the goodness of your, because when you have a reason to want justice but then you're also willing to be lenient with that, it's even raises your maqam even more with Allah. So it's a very beautiful position to be in and that's a sign of inshallah guidance for you that you are able to have that awareness that people who are trying to stir the pot and bring all those feelings in my heart are not good for me because I want to move beyond this and I wanna let go, right? And just let Allah's product take care of it. So this is where again, you're using your intellect, mashallah, you're reading and if we just start to pay attention to all the themes that we have in the Quran, for example, I mean, how many stories, okay, Sedna Yaqub and his, you know, Sedna Yusuf and his brothers. I mean, the betrayal of your own brothers plotting to kill you and then dump you in a well and let you go on and have this, I mean, he had so many trials along the way but Subhanallah, he realized that this is all because he had faith that it's all from God and he was able to forgive them and they themselves were shocked, right? When he forgave them. But we have these stories to teach us lessons that even dysfunctional families where things, I mean, none of us I think have ever had our siblings or people in our lives plot our death, right? So if we can see that it's possible to overcome, you know, something like that and extend forgiveness then maybe we can let go of, you know, the rumors that someone started or the lie that was told about you or maybe they took some of your money or whatever it is that causes these types of conflicts within family systems or within our relationships. So it really is about, again, you know, addressing, you know, these feelings in your own heart and wanting to be like this man who can honestly say that, you know, whatever whoever has done wrong to me, I just forgive them and it's interesting because you see people, you know, I'm sure we've all received like those emails or text messages when loved ones are on their way to Ombra or Hajj, right? It's like, please forgive me if I've ever done any wrong to you. And we tend to like think of ourselves and realize when those opportunities arise, the importance of purging these types of feelings and addressing these things. But on a day to day, we're fine with holding these feelings. And that's, I think, also something to think about. Why, what's the difference? Like in either case, you know, I mean, it doesn't make a difference, right? If your heart is full of those emotions, it shouldn't matter whether or not you're traveling or whether or not you're home because Allah's with you at all points of your day, right? Yes? Right? No, it's an excellent reminder and I think something for all of us to think about is at the end of the day, we really, like you said, do not know who is who with Allah. And for us to, you know, wish harm for people who may have done their toba, who may be every night waking up, you know, asking God to forgive them for what they did to you. You know, you never know, like tears are real, people could be giving sadaqah, they could be like pleading and begging God every single day, but you're still holding on to these feelings, right? So you just have to be like, you know what? God ultimately will deal with it. I just gotta get myself right because we have very little time on this planet and it's such a waste of time. I've seen people consumed with these kinds of emotions. They don't grow spiritually, they actually end up, because it's toxin, right? It's a toxin in your heart, but it actually starts to toxify other relationships, right? So when you let these kinds of feelings take over your heart, then you just shut down emotionally. You become a very negative person. People don't wanna really be around you so you start losing people in your life. Why? It's all Iblis. This is how he wants to destroy us. So it's just important to again assess where we are with respect to these diseases and make that decision, because this hadith is one of the most powerful hadith, that this man was not exceptional in other ways because sometimes we think that the standard is so high for me to be close to Allah or be a person of Jannah, I have to be doing so much in order to get there, which is good, it's a humbling thought, but it gives us all hope, right? That I may not be extraordinary in my practice, I may be kind of an average Muslim, but if I work on really reading my heart of these types of negative feelings for people and seeing people with compassion and forgiveness and empathy and letting go of biases and not being judgmental, not being quick to say things about people's choices. Over the years again, I've just seen where people, we're very quick to judge other people for their choices. All of these things are indicative of disease. Your ego needs a check, a reality check, like you are not any better than other people and stop, that's why one of the, again foundational hadith is to mind your own business, and when you start to grow spiritually, you'll find that that becomes quite apparent to you that I just don't have the time to deal with other people. I don't wanna hear about their drama. I don't wanna know anything about them. I don't wanna think about them. I have to think about myself, like my soul rectifying my soul and making sure I'm not a hypocrite, like we talked about, right, Nifak, it's such a, that should consume us, to be honest. That one singular fear, am I a hypocrite, should consume us enough to not even give another person a second thought because we don't know, we simply don't know. We could be doing all these things and then we come up on the day of judgment and all I was like, well, you know, your heart was actually, you know, trying to impress so-and-so or you were trying to get this or you were trying to get that. There were all these ulterior motives because we weren't paying attention, right? So that's why people of God are always consumed with themselves because it's like, I mean, we have hadith from Sed Na'bubaka, Sed Na'isha, the people who were promised Jannah, who were literally speaking about themselves as though they were nothing. They had that humility, this way of looking at themselves. They saw no relevance to their own existence and they always questioned their own sincerity. I mean, you see, hadith after hadith, the Sahaba would come and they would question their own sincerity to the Prophet, peace be upon him. So we, 2022, what business do we have judging other people, right? It's like, what, wake up. You should be worried about yourself and that's, you know, all of us. So that's why, again, you know, giving time to explore these diseases one by one, sitting with it and really coming to the conclusion that I don't wanna be afflicted with these things. I'm just like, I love free me from these things that, you know, prevent me from growing and just teach me how. And, you know, this hadith I think is one we can all learn from, so. Come to me, yes? Tell me how you do it. Like, what's your process? If you're comfortable sharing. That's amazing, it's beautiful. It's a superpower. Yeah, it's beautiful. You're doing exactly what we all need to be doing, right? Tadabur is like reflecting, right? On the verses. And then mohasiba is self-reflection, right? Where you're sitting, think about like your day-to-day or whatever thoughts. So these are all spiritual practices we all have to do every day. How many people do something like that? Like some form of that, yeah? At night or in the morning? It's good to pay attention like, are you a night person? Like, does all your inner philosopher come out at night? Or are you philosophizing early in the morning when the birds are chirping, right? It's good, this is a process of self-awareness, right? How many people are nighttime people? Like, right, you can't go to sleep, your mind is reeling with a lot of thoughts. That's actually good. I mean, the night is meant for, you know, this type of work of, you know, heavy badda and worship and really reflection. The early morning too, but, you know, and how many of you are in the morning? So you wake up on your drive to work, you're thinking about everything, huh? Yes, absolutely. I mean, this is prophetic, right? The Populism of Chalwa, he went to the cave and he was sitting there doing what? He was doing exactly this, thinking about all these things deeply and trying to, you know, call on God because there was madness everywhere around him. And so we can find that Chalwa in our homes, right? You know, Michelle, Dr. Rania does a really great job about talking about that, right? You know, like itikaf in the home, which is not just for Ramadan. You can have a place of itikaf where it's your corner, your place of spiritual rest and wherever you find it, but it's your little nook that you create for that. And it's also very possible because we're running around all the time to do that internally too, right? So if you're ever, for example, I was speaking to someone earlier who, you know, was having marriage issues and she was saying that it's hard for her to always visit her in-laws because it's a difficult environment for her, which is understandable if there's hostile emotions, right? And so if you ever have to be in an environment like that with around people that you're just really uncomfortable, even could be at your job or wherever, you can retreat inwardly, right? Which is what, you know, the Odead people of our tradition have always taught, like just start thinking about Allah and you can be sitting there smiling, right? But you're like, I'm in a different dimension, you know? And there's a great story, yeah, there's a great story about a scholar, I don't know where, what his name was, but he had a great reputation that he was this, you know, Wadi, so another student of knowledge wanted to go meet him. So he looked all over the city for him and he finds him in the marketplace. He's actually like a merchant and he's selling produce. So he comes like, what? This is the guy everybody's been talking about and lauding as like this great spiritual master and he's in a marketplace, you know, because it's not always a good place. And so he was kind of shocked. So he goes up to him and he's like, I've been looking for you and you're here in the marketplace? I thought you were gonna, you know, be this. And so the man just took him and he brought his head to his chest. So the story goes that he heard with his own ear that he was doing dikkah of Allah. So he's in this marketplace, but you know, there's our Karamat. Some of our great scholars had miracles like that. So he actually heard him. His internal state was in full remembrance of Allah. And she loves to talks about that, like with his teachers. He'd said, you know, Marabat al-Haji would always be in dikkah, no matter what. And there were times where he would fall asleep and you know, the students around him would be memorizing their texts or reading from the Quran. And he looked like he was asleep, you know, because he was an older man, but he said he would answer them, you know, correcting their mistakes. But he said his tongue was always doing dikkah of Allah. So there are people who outwardly may be doing one thing, but their internal state is with Allah. So we have to, you know, we can take on those practices, but it does take some initiation to just start really like longing for that time. You know, when you have a long time and that's where our scholars also say that a good sign of who you are is what you do when you're alone. Like, what are you doing when nobody else on the planet is around you? There's no human being watching you. That's, you know, you're just alone. What are you doing? That is an indication of your state, you know, because we're pretentious when other people are around, but your true state emerges in those spaces. Absolutely, 100%. I mean, even now you're completely, you know, spot on because even concepts like mindfulness, right? Which is a buzzword now. Everybody thinks that, ooh, the West and their new age, you know, spirituality is so advanced. But we know from our tradition, like, again, look at all the great traditions have a practice of meditation. But the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, which by the way, I mean, it's just kind of a plug, but Zaituna, this month, Rabiyan Awal, is doing an entire series on the mindful messenger, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi, because he was the embodiment of mindfulness. And so, you know, his every moment, he was mindful of God. And that's really what mindfulness is, right? When you're a mindful person, you are very aware of everything that's happening around you. So when he would speak to people, but he was just in the constant state of that hypervigilance that is mindfulness. And so you're right. But all of these other concepts too, like intermittent fasting, we're seeing everybody's now adopting it. I was just saying, cause I was doing a class earlier, about even like the miswek, the bidet, right? All of our sunnah practices, I saw, I'm just shocked. And for the Afghans and maybe even the Turks, you know, we have the quisa, which is the, you know, the, I don't even know what kind of a fabric it is, but it basically exfoliates. I saw a commercial I was cracking up. It's like, it was like, well, it's called something glove. And I was like, are you serious? You're gonna take our quisa now and suddenly turn it into a new cool, you know, find. But we've been ahead of the game with these respects. That's partly why if you have ever like followed some of my social media stuff, I try to highlight these similarities, not to, you know, center these types of things, but rather to say that we've all actually been ahead of it. Like even emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a new framework that everybody loves to hear about. But the entire five point list is all Islam. Every point, self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, social skills. That's Islam, that's Tarbiyah. That's from the beginning of you become a self-aware person. You study Akhidah, you study, you know, all those things that Meezah tells you about yourself. Then you go into self-regulation, which is Tasqiyah, which is what we're doing. This is how to control yourself. Motivation, we have the example of the Prophet said we are constantly being motivated to follow him. Empathy, I mean, hello, was there a more empathic human on a planet? He empathized with everybody, animals, children, a tree. He's called the first tree hugger, you know, and then social skills. He had all of these skills that nobody, I mean, now they're waking up to it. You know, his ability to just, again, know how to deal with different groups according to their customs and culture, speak to people according to their, you know, accents or different, you know, language. But all of these things are now emerging. So we just have to have confidence in our tradition. It is hug. Thank you for mentioning that. Yeah, that's odd. Yeah, I don't know how to respond to that. And so, I could very easily go to life not responding to that, but the problem is that this goes up at times when I'm usually feeling connected. Right. When I'm a super diver, so like, you're on the boat and I'm, everyone else is amazed that the underwater licensee was going into a diving site. And my eyes, I suppose, I was feeling it at a different level. It was like a spiritual experience. Yeah, a spiritual experience. I felt so connected with the creation and people saw, I don't know if the whales or the dolphins, but they were really on and on about it. And like, oh, and she was sleeping. I was like, I wasn't. It was, there was a lot of, it felt like I was being jarred and brought out of my experience. It was like, listen to people's sense of experience. And many, many times it's happened like that. And now where I feel it's happening. That someone tries to get you out of it. This is not what you're supposed to do. It's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, no, you have to listen to that. Because we're all different. So unfortunately, yeah. I mean, human beings are always trying to force people to do things, but at the end of the day, you know what connects you to the divine. So just let your heart, you know.