 I want to let you in on a little secret, if you will. Maybe you don't notice this about me, maybe you do, but I am an introvert. This means that I don't feel comfortable when I do something socially before I feel like it's the appropriate thing to do. If I'm making a sale, I want to make sure that the person is interested before I try to close them. If I talk to somebody, it's really important for me to know that he's actually listening and interested. It's not that I get offended if he's not. It's not that I get offended if my potential buyer doesn't want my product. But what really screws me over is not getting validation. Now what does this mean? When I'm in a social situation and there's a group of people talking, I don't feel comfortable coming up, just interrupting them and being that charismatic guy that just starts talking to everybody. So I do something simple. I take the obscurity, you could call it the ambiguity. You could call it the question. Do they want to hear me talk? Would it be okay if I butt up and become the dominant guy? So I'll walk up to the group and I'll tell them, Hey guys, I have something to say. Do you want to hear? And they might say, yeah. Okay, everybody wants to hear? Yeah. Bam! I'll go into it because now I've got the validation to keep going. If I'm making a sale, again, I have to talk to the client either until he asks me, Okay, how do we move forward? This is fucking awesome. Or until I ask him, So what do you think about what we talked about so far? Would you like to see the next phase? Would you like to know more about working with me? And if he says, oh yeah, of course. Then I'll be, okay, awesome. I'll be highly enthusiastic. If he says, okay, then I'll tell him, What's on your mind? What's the problem? Why aren't you like, fuck yeah, let's go for it. Let me know, I want to know about it. If I'm doing a lecture, I'll stand in front of the audience. I'll ask, hey guys, are you excited? Are you happy to be here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody wants to hear about self-improvement. Yeah, yeah. Let's say I want to sell something at the end. Maybe I want to sell my coaching at the end. I don't feel comfortable going into a pitch without making sure people are interested because I don't want to waste their time. So I have as an introvert, I have a very high sensitivity, sensitivity, sorry, to other people's time and energy and money. I don't want to take value ever. I just want to give and give and give. Now this doesn't mean, I thought it means in the past that I'm just a sucker. I just give and give and give and I never get. But the only reason I never got is because I missed the transition of the question. Well, would you like to hear more? Would you like to know about what I offer? Are you interested? Does this sound good? Does paying me $2,000 to get coached sound good to you? Yes. Maybe the guy says, oh, I think so. Okay, why isn't it, yeah, fuck yeah. Oh, it's because I'm not sure about, oh, awesome. Let's fix it. You know, let's talk about it. I'm not sure about this. Okay, awesome. Awesome, let's fix it. So I'm always providing myself with validation. And the mistake that introverts make, what keeps them introverted is the fact that they don't ask the questions. So, you know, you have a situation, you know, maybe you talk to your mom and she's like, or maybe a friend. You're not sure anymore if they're listening. You know, you're telling a story or something. You're not sure if they're listening, but you're like, oh, I'm not sure if he's listening. So now, instead of being charismatic, bam, you go down, you suppress yourself. Because again, intuitively, you're like, you know, I don't want to waste time. I don't want to waste value. So I'm going to suppress myself. You get like the handbrake is going up, you get blocked. So what I do in this situation, I'll just straight up ask like, hey, you know, does the story interest you? Do you want to hear more? And they'll be like, oh yeah, of course. And even if they say, oh no, it's actually not that interesting. I'm not going to take it personally. I'm not going to be like, oh no. Well, fuck you. I'm going to be like, oh, okay, cool. Do you want to talk about something else or, you know, why maybe tell me why it wasn't interesting so I can know it for the future. Was it my delivery? Was it just you not being interested? I can actually do something with it. So it doesn't matter if I get a good reaction or a bad reaction, you know, you know, I come up to a group. I'm like, hey guys, you want to hear a story? I have to tell. It doesn't matter if I get a good reaction or if they say like, no, because at least I got something definitive. So again, you're introverted because you're not willing to confront the things that you're obscure about, you know, that you're ambiguous about, that you aren't sure about. And until you confront them, you won't really know if you're taking value because you're not, again, entertaining. You're not really doing what you should do or if you're doing the right thing. So you'll just be stuck in this half in half out thing and you won't be charismatic. You won't be engaging. You won't be passionate. You won't be energetic. You'll sound like forced. Like when you tell your story, you know, you'll be like, yeah, this, like, do you like it? Do you like it? Do you like it? It's going to suck. Or when you do your presentation, when you want to sell in front of an audience or in front of your one potential client, but you're not sure if they want it yet. You know, you're going to the closing already. You're like, you know, yeah, the product is this and it has that. And in your head, you're like, oh, I don't know if you like this. So the secret for me and you to thriving. So sorry for the misleading title because it's not surviving. It's fucking thriving. But I needed something to get you to watch is to confront the scary shit, scary stuff, to validate it. Ask the questions. So anytime I feel introverted, I know intuitively why I'm introverted. Again, it could be lecturing because I'm afraid to sell. Maybe I'm afraid my topic isn't interesting. Maybe I'm afraid the video isn't interesting. Maybe I'm afraid I'm doing the workout wrong. Maybe I'm afraid the guy I'm talking to isn't interested. Maybe I'm afraid the group I want to talk to isn't really open to me just interrupting. But I'm always, I'm always confident to validate because, you know, even though I'm not confident to, let's say, you know, I go on a coaching call first time with somebody for the first time. I won't feel confident to just try and sell. Sorry. I'd like to know first that he's interested that I can help him. You know, some people are not like that. Some people just don't have that thing. And, you know, that's fine. But there's advantages to be introverted as well. Because again, when you're introverted, you're more precise. So when you do find somebody who is a good fit for you, you're going to be like a sniper and just bam, just jump on it because you're so picky. And so, you know, well-attuned to the other person that when you do find the right person, again, you have that ability to just like a pit bull just bam, just bite and don't let go and apply massive pressure. But it never feels like, you know, negative pressure because the person intuitively feels that you deeply care about their well-being, which is actually true. Because people who are introverted like me, we don't care about the money as much as we care about the value. So first of all, you know, Matt, money, great, I love money. But if I get value, I don't want to get money for nothing. I don't want it. I won't feel good about it. Like I had so many clients that I could have worked with, but I just told them, no, like I'm not going to war with you because I don't think it's a good fit. And they're like, oh, thank you. And they actually appreciate it because I just gave them the blunt answer. Like, hey, I'm not the perfect match for you. You should go with this guy. You should do this. So introverts actually have, again, an advantage in that because you can actually control your energy. But again, you have to be able to confront the scary stuff. You have to be able to validate it. So whenever you get introverted, then again, you're not in a born introvert and you're just stuck that way. It's just like people with ADHD with, you know, they people tell them in school, like, oh, you can't concentrate, you know, you have an attention deficiency. It's like, you know, when they find something that's interesting to them, they find valuable. They can definitely focus, you know, for hours or 10 hours straight. But, you know, maybe the problem isn't with them. It's the school that's not interesting enough or that's not, they don't feel like it has what they need. You know, it doesn't really spice the, what they feel inside so that they get passionate about it and really want to study hard. So what I'm trying to say is you don't have any problems. Stop trying to fix yourself. Stop trying to be confident in spite of being introverted. You're not an introvert. You're simply more picky with your value. So you only want to give value. You want to make sure you never take value. You're very, you have hypersensitivity to that, to that. Just like people with attention deficiency simply have an extremely precise and picky attention span because they can only focus on things that they know to a very deep degree that will actually provide them with value. You know, by that definition, I'm extremely with ADHD because I can't focus on anything that I don't find interesting or valuable. But, you know, I think that's a skill. I don't think that's like a disadvantage. So same with my introvertedness. I don't find that like a deficiency. Like, oh, you know, not like the other people who would just be outgoing automatically or just make a sale or just bam, just go for it without knowing the person. I find that as my characteristics, part of my unique setup, one of my advantages. Because when I do find people that are good for me, I close them like a motherfucker. Like they're not going to go away and they're going to be happy that I close them. It's not like they're like, they don't enjoy it. They love it because it's like, we are now going to change the fucking world. So I hope this gave you a lot, a lot of hope. What's the other words? Clarity, guidance, understanding of how to actually use the introvertedness and how to actually control it and use it to your advantage. Why it's a gift, why you're okay, why you're not fucked up. Everything is perfect with you. If you're an introvert and this video helped you, please let me know in the comments because I appreciate it so much. It really, really does wonders to my happiness to see how much I can help. So let me know and if you need personal help, please contact me by email. Let me know if you need my help. I'd love to give you a free coaching session. I can answer your questions via email. We can do anything pretty much. So thanks again and if you haven't subscribed, please do. Let me know if this helped you and I have one last video today, the fifth video. So I'll see you soon.