 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Thank you again for being here. We are here for purification of the heart. This is going to be a six week class, inshallah. And as I had mentioned, we are here, inshallah, to study this incredible text that really is a great service that our sheikh, a local scholar, Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, has done for us by providing us this translation. And it's considered, you know, by many of our great scholars, one of the classical, you know, it's a great work, but Imam al-Ghazadi specifically considered the study of the science to be an obligation. So it's really great that all of you are here and you're taking it seriously as we all should. It's something that I think even children should study this at age appropriate levels, but the younger the better, because it's about really cultivating yourself and becoming the best version of yourself. And you can't do that if you don't know what problems you have, right? It's like, this is what it is. It's unearthing. It's bringing all of that out. And we're all afflicted, right? We all have diseases of the heart which we're going to get into, inshallah, in a moment. But I wanted to start off before we dive into it about intention, because it really, we have to be intentional when we're doing something like this, that every day that we come here, and even when we leave and we're going back to our daily lives, that we take the subject matter seriously and we really contemplate the meanings and the discussions that we're having here. And we read the text. We do the assignments. And it won't be, I won't overload you. We have time and there's 25 diseases, so you're not going to do that much. But I want to know that you're coming in here having read the material, having really participated and you're taking this class really with the same intention that we all, as I said, should have, which is we want to get closer to Allah, right? That's the objective. And the way to do that is to work on ourselves and to be as close to the prophetic example as possible. And you can't do that if you don't look at where your weaknesses and faults are and how to correct those things. So that's really the objective of this class, is to, with that intention, we want to draw closer to Allah. So with that said, I wanted to keep things real. Because, as I said, I'm up here teaching, but I don't want there to be any impression that I have in any way mastered this science. I'm not a master. I've hummed that I was blessed to be a part of it when Sheikh Hamza first taught this and of course have studied it over the years. But I'm a student just like all of you are. And I say that sincerely because I want this to be a discussion-based class where we're talking, we're sharing ideas, we're asking questions. So it's not just that I'm sitting here giving you information, you take it and you leave, but it's actually a conversation. So that was part of the description of the class and I hope that's clear for everybody that we are here to dialogue. And we're kind of like doing it almost like in a book club format where you read a text together. So that's how I want the class to flow. So I invite questions. I invite, like, oh, I have something to share, contributions if you feel like something is relevant that you want to mention, please just feel open to do that. There's no formality here, okay? Inshallah. So my background just to kind of again for those who don't know me. I am a Bay Area native. I was raised here. I was not born here. I was born in Afghanistan but came here like many refugee families did to the U.S. And then we came to California around middle school. So I, most of my clear memories, clearest memories are here in California growing up. And Alhamdulillah, you know, like many people, I was raised in a conservatively cultural or a culturally conservative family. So we had, you know, rules that were cultural. They weren't necessarily defined to us as being religious rules. So I grew up, you know, not doing certain things and knowing, you know, clearly what was wrong and what was right. But I didn't have a strong Muslim identity growing up. I had a very strong cultural identity. So it wasn't until actually high school where I, my first experience ever hearing a native, you know, Muslim, he was a convert but he was, you know, here American Muslim speaker speak about Islam. And he actually came to my high school and he did a presentation on the autobiography of Malcolm X. And so, yes, I was, I feel like I had a conversion experience, like so many converts do, I really did. I was watching this incredible, and he's local, you know, Imam Abdul Malik Ali, right? We all know him. I mean, Abdul Malik. When he came and he spoke about Malcolm X, it was the first time I ever, first of all, heard of his story. But also just to see the passion and pride and conviction of a Muslim who was so proud of his faith was unique for me. Because I had never, ever seen that before. I was around a lot of, as I said, people from my own culture and family and background. But to actually see an American Muslim have such a strong American Muslim identity was really profound for me and impacted me. And then he encouraged us to read the autobiography of Malcolm X. And the movie, I think, had already come out or was coming out. It was around that time. I think it was 1992, around that time. So I went to the library, like, you know, that day. And I actually checked out the book and I read it and I fell in love. I dove into that book and I was sold. I was like, this is one of the greatest stories ever. And of course, watching the movie only solidified how amazing, you know, Malcolm X was and just really made me feel connected to him. And so that kind of was what I call the first flip, you know, of my, like, spiritual awakening, right? I had this incredible awakening of who am I, you know, my identity as a Muslim. And then later in college, I had, you know, other experiences which I've spoken about. Some of you may have heard that story about just, you know, being put in a situation where I had to confront a speaker who came to the campus and spoke, you know, really horribly about Islam and about the problems I said. And I was in a sort of confrontational situation with that speaker. But that also was my second sort of awakening. And I had these experiences where I was being, you know, just drawn to the faith and it took time. And that's, you know, I think many people share that experience. It doesn't always happen overnight. For some people, it does. Some people have tragedy, calamity and suddenly they start, you know, questioning life and have an existential crisis. For other people, it can be gradual. And so for me, it was gradual. The loss of my grandfather was another really big experience. And seeing a dead person for the first time in your life as a teenager can definitely wake you up and start making you ask a lot of questions. So I had those experiences. And, alhamdulillah, and I'm, you know, it wasn't until later on in college that I think it really, where I really started waking, having a full awakening, I guess you could say, I had small little moments of awakenings. But it wasn't until I was, I think it was of the year 1996 or so. I was practicing at that time. I was wearing hijab. I was, you know, had a strong Muslim identity. But I wasn't really working on the internal at all. Like there was no, it was just all outward. It was very much about prayer and looking at Muslim and talking tough and just, I don't know, just a different mindset that I had at that time. And it's because that's what was, you know, what was common. A lot of the people around me and the MSAs and the organizations that I was a part of, that's kind of what it was. There wasn't much emphasis on the spiritual or the inner dimensions and working on the inner. So I ended up, you know, finding kind of just stumbling upon, and it's an interesting experience. I'll share it with you guys. But I went to a friend's house. We used to get together at UC Berkeley. It was like a bunch of sisters that we knew. And we would have haraqas at one of the sisters' homes. And so it was common for me to kind of drop by. We'd just, you know, check, hang out. So I drove up with another friend in the car and we were going to hang out with some friends. And I noticed that some of the sisters were actually leaving and they were by their car. And I was like, where are you guys going? And they're like, oh, there's this new class that's starting and we're going to go check it out. So I was like, oh, who's the class by? And they're like, oh, this teacher named Hamza Youssef. And so at that time I had only heard about him in other circles and the comments weren't very nice. Let's just say that. But my mind was like, oh really? Like I was curious and I was, you know, I kind of went with an agenda in a way. It's not good. And I'm not proud of that now, but at that moment I felt like I needed to go and basically hear what this Hamza Youssef was saying and maybe potentially even confront him. I kind of had that personality type. So I was like, oh, you're going to that class? I'm going to follow you. So I ended up driving from Berkeley all the way to Hayward after, you know, behind my friend's car. And I show up to the class and I'm not, I can't remember if he was doing Purification of the Heart or if he was doing Sira. It was one of the two. I think it was, it might have been Sira, but he was teaching a class at that time. And I walked in with full like, you know, intention to like, you know, I don't know, just confront him somehow because I had heard things about him that were not true, but still. So anyway, I sit in the class and subhanallah, my first experience again, or second experience I should say, hearing a Native American Muslim convert speak about Islam. But he was completely in the most real, authentic, you know, vulnerable state that I had ever seen a man or a person in. And he began to weep, you know, in his transmission. He was talking about the Prophet's life setup and he just couldn't contain himself. So he was crying and I was like, oh my God, I've never seen a man do that before ever, right? Most of the men in our lives and especially from my cultural background are very stoic. They do not cry. It's like, you don't see, you know, your fathers, your uncles, your anybody do that. And here's this man who's so moved by, you know, the story of the Prophet's life setup, which of course is so compelling in so many ways, that he just let his guard down and it was all heart. And it was an absolute transference, you know. Allah SWT, one of his names is the one who flips the hearts. I had that experience in that moment of sitting in front of this teacher, my heart completely flipped. I went there with this agenda to confront him and I thought I was going to catch him and stuff. And I just was like, Subhanallah, what he's saying and what he's doing, there's truth, there's hope to this. I want to know more. And so I ended up coming every weekend he was doing classes and we were very blessed and honored to sit and learn from him. And it was more than just Sita, but this was one of the classes. So that was for me the final awakening because I had really, you know, just learned to appreciate the emphasis on working more on the internal. Because everything at that point for me was about the external and here I was learning that no, you know, if you want to get closer to Allah SWT, don't worry about the form, don't worry about how you look and how you appear and what people think of you. Don't worry about reputation and, you know, validation and getting all of that. So work on yourself and make this your lifelong process that every single day you're cultivating, you know, yourself and you're, you know, you're doing that internal work. And that's, you know, I credit him. So that's why I'm here today because I hope that I've been blessed to, you know, to study and to learn from him as most of us in this community have been. And so, you know, with his permission, I am here to teach this class because I want to share with all of you the great blessings that I have found from learning this science and studying the science. And I think just doing it together, it's so necessary. We're living in a time where there's a lot of, you know, confusion. People are really lost about what to do and who to follow and who to listen to. And, you know, the messages outside are all about external, right? I mean, we're living in a fishbowl world now. Everybody's looking in on each other and we're all worried about how we appear and we're all, you know, it's all about image. So much emphasis on image. So I feel like we actually, this is very necessary, you know, to work on this. And that's why it's a great honor again to be here. So any questions so far about that? Yes. Sure. The books, oh, there was a box of books here. They might be, oh, they placed them outside. So yeah, please make sure you have your books because we're going to look at parts of it today. But just for those of you who walked in late, just to kind of recap, today's an introduction class. So I was just introducing myself to all of you and why I'm here and my background. And so with that said, I did want to share a few things here about the, you know, the sort of, I guess, the outline for the rest of the course. So we have, there's 25 diseases that are going to be covered in this book. So for today we're going to do the biography of Imam al-Molud. We'll talk about him, who he was, do really more of an introduction on the science as an overall, like, objectives. And then we'll dive into the reading, we'll have a reading assignment after today. And next week we'll start officially going over the diseases, okay? So just, I just want to make that clear. So now as far as, before we get into the biography of Imam al-Molud, I just wanted to again reiterate what I had said earlier. Assalamu alaikum. That this, you know, we have what we called the faraid, you know, the fard in our tradition which are the obligatory things that we should all know. There are fard-e-ain and fard-kifayah. Fard-e-ain are things that every individual should know, right? Fard-e-kifayah are the collective responsibilities of like, the communal responsibilities. So the fard-e-ain are, you know, knowing your fiqh of tahara, cleanliness, purification, prayer, knowing how to read the book of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in the proper way. And then Imam al-Khazali, who is again one of our great scholars, one of the greatest scholars of our tradition, he considered, he's one of the ones who considered that this is a study that's also fard-e-ain, that everybody should make it, or it's obligatory on every Muslim to learn the science. So, you know, we should take this seriously. It's not just like, oh, we're electively just here to study this interesting thing, but rather I'm actually doing something that I might be asked about, you know, on the Day of Judgment. And so I'm, inshallah, with that seriousness, I'm here. And that's the intention with which we should be here, inshallah. So I wanted to start off by outlining, or first asking, how many in the Quran and in the hadith, the heart is mentioned several times, but in different definitions, right, in different contexts. Does anybody know how many different types of hearts are identified? Or even have an idea of some of the types of hearts that are identified that you can remember from like learning or like verses of the Quran? Yes? Mm-hmm, yes, Qalb. What is it? Afida, I'm not familiar with that. I think what I'm talking about is types of hearts, right? Like, what, like a, for example, a darkened heart, right? So there's different hearts that are described to us in the hadith and the Quran. So I'm gonna give you, and if, can I ask someone to volunteer for me to write these on the board? It'll be really helpful if someone can do that. Who has a nice handwriting, because I'm, it's just English words. Yes, okay, thank you. Yes, it's English only, not Arabic, don't worry. But I'm gonna just, I should have done that, I apologize before the class, I forgot to do that. But there are eight different types of hearts, okay? So we have the first one is the dead heart, okay? The second is the darkened heart. And then the third is the hardened heart. So a heart that's been hardened. Darkened, oh sorry, the second one was darkened. I apologize. Darkened, hardened, yeah, no, there's no sick yet. So dark, hardened, blackened, sealed, sealed, locked, yeah, these are all separate. Locked, blind, and then sound, okay? Blind, yeah, just blind, and then sound. Perfect, thank you. Alright, so those are the eight different types of hearts that we have been introduced to through either ayat of the Qur'an or hadith, okay? And we're gonna talk about each one of these. So the first one, the dead heart. How do you identify what a dead heart is? In chapter 50, verse 37, Allah swt says, Verily in this is a message for any that has a heart, or who gives ear and earnestly witnesses the truth. From this verse we can deduce that obviously we all have a heart, we're living. We're not talking about the physical heart, we're talking about the spiritual heart. And so a person who has a heart, if they are, you know, as the verse says, for any that has a heart, if they give ear, they will witness the truth. So the opposite of that is that their heart is either, you know, is dead, or that it's non-existent, right? That there's just no spiritual desire or any, you know, want to know Allah swt. And this is very common, there's a lot of people who don't have any desire for God, and they'll say that, that religion is important, God is important, and this is how they, we see it everywhere now. So this idea that a person can be physically awake and walking amongst us, but there's some death happening, this is how we ascertain that from this verse that there are people amongst us that are like that, they have dead hearts, right? And then this can also, you know, people, sometimes, you know, you can talk, you can attend a talk, or there's Quran being recited, but some people are just not affected, and you'll see it, you'll see really moving experiences, but people are just not, there's nothing happening to their hearts. That would also be a sign of someone whose heart is deadened, right? Because the Quran should, you know, awake something in you, right? Or if you're standing in front of the Ka'bah, for example, or seeing something really amazing, we should have a visceral, physical response to that, but if you're just like nothing, and sometimes it's not that it's, you know, it's deadened to the point where it can't be revived, so don't lose hope. Because there are people who will feel like, well, I'm just at a place where life is really hard right now, and I'm, yeah, emotionally stunted and I don't really respond to things, I've met with people who say that, that they just, in their prayers they don't feel anything, or when they're, you know, listening to Quran, or just don't, they have no desire to do certain things, and that's indicative of, yes, there's a spiritual, you know, disconnect there that has to be addressed. So, but all hope is not lost, don't worry, it's just a matter of how do you revive that type of a heart, but the idea that a heart can fall to that level of just almost, you know, no, there's no response is a sign, again, that is happening all around us, and it's very common, but we have to know the signs of it, that that's one of them. This is a, you know, a symptom of it. A darkened heart, okay, so what's a darkened heart? A heart that was initially dead can come alive, again, with the reminders, with Quran, with good company, all of these things can happen, right? But if someone is plunged in darkness, and misguidance, and disbelief, and they continue to, you know, to surround themselves like that after being, you know, brought into the light, this is darkened heart, right? So Allah SWT has awakened you, or you had guidance, but now you are, by your own choices, by your own, you know, you're falling back into bad behavior, or things you shouldn't be doing, this is a heart that's darkened now, because you had the light, you had, you know, guidance, and then you chose to turn, and so now your heart is being darkened. A hardened heart, so a heart that is completely devoid of the remembrance of Allah SWT, that it becomes hardened. So if you're not, you know, doing things actively to remember Allah, over time, this is the consequence that your spiritual heart will become hardened. So it's almost like all of these things lead to another. If you continue to have a hardened heart, eventually you're going to have a dead heart, right? That's just the natural course, because you are not doing anything to actively keep that spiritual heart awake, and that's what zikr of Allah is, prayers, you know, doing all of the stuff that we should be doing on a daily basis. If you think of, you know, you're just the, the five prayers alone are for us to check in and to, you know, to kind of wake up from the delusion of the dunya, because we can get caught up in all this, you know, the stuff that we're doing. So we go to pray, and we're really to remind us of our purpose. But even in addition to that, we have so many other things that we should be doing actively, right? All the daily du'as, for example, how many of us do the daily du'as that we should be doing? When you wake up in the morning, right, the first things you should say, as soon as your eyes open, is a da'a. How many of us do that, right? All of that is to constantly keep us in connection with Allah's Pranatah, because the heart needs that. The heart needs this, you know, just continuous, you know, feeding and nurturing of remembrance. And if we don't do that, the consequences that it becomes hardened. And so many of us now, if you really think about it, even in our prayers, we're not present, right? It's many times, and I've heard from people like, you know, you stand in prayer and you don't even know how many rakat you've done. You don't remember the surahs you recited, right? But you were thinking about what you have to do next, what you did yesterday. So, because we're so distracted now, we have so many distractions that even in a time where we should be focused and we should have that ability to connect, we can't. So this is a sign of a hardening of the heart, right? And it's because we're not doing enough remembrance of Allah SWT. And so you want to look at your whole day and say, where are the times where I'm actually really sitting with myself and thinking about Allah and, you know, letting just, you know, whether it's, and you can do that three different ways. You can just do it, you know, like driving, for example, in your car or washing the dishes, you know, you can do it anywhere. Remembrance of Allah SWT doesn't have to be done just on a prayer mat, you know, or with the Qur'an in front of you. You can do it at all times of the day, but how often do we do that versus turn on the music, right? Or a podcast about something. And not to say that those things aren't beneficial, but if you're not making time for the remembrance of Allah actively, but yet you have time to do all these other things, do you see that is going to contribute to the hardening of the heart? Your heart will gradually not be as affected, you know, by the things that it should be affected by. The connection you feel will start to, you know, sort of like, you know, like on the phone when you're talking to someone and the connection starts to go down and you're like, hello, hello, hello, that's kind of how you have to think about your spiritual connection with Allah. If you're not attentive to it regularly, every day, this isn't, you know, it's not a seasonal thing where we become seasonally inspired, you know, around Ramadan or right before Ramadan, that's not Islam. Islam is every single day committed, concerted effort, active engagement, and you deliberately make time and schedule in things that are going to, you know, get you closer to your Lord. And the five prayers are not enough. They are essential and they are absolutely the most important, but they're not enough to do that in a time and day and age where we are now, where we're so incredibly, like I said, bombarded and distracted easily. We can't rely on just thinking, I'm going to, you know, commit to my five prayers and that's going to be good enough. We need more, we need active engagement. So, I'm sorry, did I have a question, you had a question? Oh, sure, of course, absolutely. And that's, you know, that's directly against one of the clear hadith of the Prophet, who said, give salam to those you know and you don't know, right? So, you know, there's clearly, and that's a social ill that we have. A lot of people have become so socially just, you know, unaware of themselves, you know, where they only, you know, and social anxiety is real. It's a problem of our society where people really feel awkward talking to people they don't know or approaching people they don't know. Whereas in Islam, we're literally, we're supposed to look at each other all as a family, like one umma, one body. So, you know, could you do that to your family members where you walk into the home and you only talk to one person or you only, but for some reason there's this awkwardness that we've, I think, imposed. It's not from our tradition for sure. It's a lot of its cultural, a lot of its social, a lot of its individual, right? People have their own individual temperaments and they're not afraid to maybe put themselves out there, vulnerabilities, not easy for people. So that, you know, affects their connection with other people which absolutely will affect your heart. You know, if you're not, you know, part of our Dean is to social, you know, or emotional intelligence, part of that is, you know, the social skills, right? And emotional intelligence is really Islam. If you look at all of the definitions of emotional intelligence, it is Islam. And it's embodying all of the prophetic qualities. And the Prophet, as I said, was masterful at so many things, but one of his great qualities was being able to connect with every single person, you know, no matter where they were at, no matter what their background was, it didn't matter. He was able to really engage people and make them feel seen and heard. And this is what we should, as Muslims put into practice, we should work on our social skills so that we make people feel welcome. And that's why smiling is a huge part of that. And right? Smiling, saying salams, being people that spread, you know, this is all a hadith, you know, be people who spread peace, be people who are easy and people are drawn to you because you are approachable, right? But we've unfortunately gone back in many ways with that. And so it absolutely is connected to that. So thank you for bringing that up. The blackened heart, and this is, you know, Ibn Masud said that the slave continues to lie and a black spot grows on the heart until all the heart becomes completely black. And this is, you know, one of the great hadith that we should visualize. I like to visualize things because it, you know, it helps you to sort of just imagine what's happening every time you do something, every time you make ghiba, every time you lie, every time you eat from the haram or take risks from the haram, or you do anything that is haram, you want to actually imagine that that's what's happening, that you have this beautiful heart, it's glowing, it's full of light, right? It's just pure. But every, it's like a dot, you know, like a sharpie marker, you just colored into it. And it's permanent, right? Until you do the necessary steps to remove that. But it's on your heart. And so this is, you know, one of the tragedies again is that we, sins have become so common now and people take them lightly. They don't really look at them as having an effect because it's like, you know, God's the most forgiving, it's okay, my heart is good, I'm a good person. And so you kind of start taking sins like lightly or you think that, you know, you can, and I know, you know, I've heard people say like, when I get older, you know, I'll do this, act, right? Like all my youth is going to be spent doing whatever I want to do, sowing my wild oats, you know. But when I, at this time in my life, I'll start taking things more seriously after I do HUDGE, you know. And those are not guarantees. Nobody has any guarantee if we're going to, you know, live to see tomorrow, let alone the future. So having that kind, and this is actually one of the diseases of the heart which we'll get to, to have this, you know, wrong idea about your life. But, you know, this, just to imagine, every time you're sinning, that's what you're doing. You're literally darkening this wonderful thing that you've been given that connects you to your Lord, you're hindering its growth, you're stunting it, and it's, you know, it's causing its death because it's like suffocating it, right? It's every sin that you do, it's preventing the light from growing, it's preventing you from having that connection with Allah, so you are spiritually, you know, suffocating and stunting your own growth when you sin. And so, again, visualize those things. I think it's important to do that. So the sealed heart is the next one, and this is in Surah Al-Rum chapter 30 verse 59, Thus Allah does stamp the hearts of those who understand not. So a sealed heart is one that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has sealed belonging to those who transgress or who completely deny the truth. So may Allah protect us from that. But these are, you know, good, just definitions to know because when you're reading these verses or, you know, reading certain hadith, you want to, you know, again, see what is, you know, what is, what's ideal and what we should seek protection from and ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect us from ever being amongst those who have any of these negative hearts, right? We don't want any of these so far, right? The locked heart. And this is in chapter 47, 24. Do they not then earnestly seek to understand the Quran or are their hearts locked? Okay, so this person whose heart is locked is a verse 2, reading, reflecting, understanding, seeking knowledge or reflecting upon the Quran. And there are people who are like that. They just don't have a relationship with the Book of Allah. And so it's like, you know, there's something, again, a lock on their heart from actually being open to his word, his message. And oftentimes it's imposed. It's hard for people to, especially if they're immersed in sin, to want to engage in any type of, you know, act, you know, religious act, right? It's hard. And I didn't, like, oh, you know, I just drank alcohol last night or I went to this, you know, club last night and now, you know, how can you? So people, what they do, and this is from Shaitan, it's like a, you know, a choice you make. Which is, if, so long as I'm living this lifestyle that's, you know, convenient, it's fun, it's exciting, I cannot do these things, right? And that's, it's normal. I think most people are like that. But it's, again, it's self-imposed if you do that, right? Because you're the one who chooses to put that lock on your heart, although that is not preventing you, especially Muslims. And we see Muslims doing this nowadays. There's many Muslims who drink alcohol openly. It's not a big deal anymore. And you see it at weddings. I mean, I've been, I've seen wedding pictures where they have, you know, bottles of champagne on the table for the guests. And I just am, like, subhanallah. There was a time where, you know, you had a small group of people who were like by the garbage cans in the parking lot, like the big garbage bins. And you knew what they were doing. But they at least had some shame, and they would hide, and they would keep it away. But now it's out in the open because people have made a choice. They prefer a different lifestyle, right? They prefer the lifestyle of, you know, everybody around them, and that's what they're going to do. So they're imposing on themselves because they have the truth guaranteed those same people have Qura'ans in their house, guaranteed. Guaranteed many of those same people have memorized Qura'an. They know verses. They've, you know, they have all of it available to them. So it's important to remember this is, the lock is not from Allah. It's from oneself. So sealed is for those who are completely denied the truth. Like the transgressor or the disbeliever. Like there's, you know, and that's why we say Allah is the one who guides and misguides, right? That's from him. They've transgressed, they've chosen, so there's no openings for them, right? They turned. So, but the locked heart is you. You have, you know the truth, you know the truth, but you don't wish to, you know, engage or in any way have, you know, implement the truth into your own life. You're just in denial. Yes. For this one it was chapter 47, 24. Yes. Sure. The sealed heart was chapter 30 verse 59. No, that's what, well, that's what free will is, right? We all have free will. And that's one of the things you have to remember. Guidance is, you know, we make the choice, right? When we have the ability to discern from right and wrong, that's the time where we make the choice whether or not we follow, when the truth is given to us, when the truth is presented to us, we can either choose to accept it and act on it, or we choose to delay it or not act on it, right? And so from that point forward, when we make those decisions, then the rest of it is, you know, the outcome of that decision, right? It's all in our choice. So it's not that Allah is selectively, you know, we have the ability to choose. And so what happens to us once we make the choice, though, yes, that is, you know, we reap, I mean, those are the consequences of our actions, right? Or of our choices. But the initial choice, all of us are on the same. You know, we're going to be judged according to the same, like that moment, when was that moment when the truth was presented to you and you made the decision whether or not to oblige or to not, right? We'll all be asked about that. And obviously everything that happens after that. Yeah. Okay. So we did the locked heart. The blind heart. This is chapter 22, verse 46. It says, Do they not travel through the land so that their hearts must thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn to hear, truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their chests. So the blind heart is the one where, again, everything around you is obvious. It's there. The truth is visible. I mean, here, for example, we're in this beautiful, you know, community where you have access to knowledge. There's, you know, we're a very welcoming community. I've been a part of different communities. I've traveled, you know, and you feel, I feel like, you know, we're very blessed, right? We have a community center that's active. It's thriving, accommodates the needs of everybody, really. If you look at the classes and offerings that we have here, I don't know of anybody that's not being taken care of. The elderly have classes, special needs classes, women's classes, youth. So we have an environment that's so welcoming and warm, but a lot of people choose, you know, to walk right past it or to just not even ever enter, you know, ever enter the space because they've made up their minds and I've met with people who are like, yeah, we don't go to the mess shit. We just don't, you know. They choose, again, not to see the good that Allah swt has provided for them. And so that would be, again, a sign of someone with a blind heart, like the truth or the, all the blessings Allah's giving you, your health, your family, all of those things, where'd they come from, right? So if you have a heart that is able to recognize the good and the blessings that you've been given, then you want to be grateful to the source of those blessings, right? But if you're blind to all that or you're entitled and you just think it's just, you know, you're just deserving of certain things, then it's going to prevent you from seeing the signs of Allah, from making those connections, from wanting to draw close to Him. So there's like a, you know, there's a barrier there. There's a veil over your eyes. So there's people who are like that. They're just blind to the, to the na'amah of Allah, to the blessings of guidance. May Allah again protect us from all of that. Now all of these, you know, I know they're, they're all negative and it's, again, we're just using, we're identifying them because it's important to know the distinctions. But really the, the one that, the last one here is the one that we all want, right? This is the heart that we all should be striving for, right? The Qalbun Salim, as our brother Mashallah mentioned, right? And this is in chapter 26, verse 88, verse 89, excuse me. So what is the Qalbun Salim, right? This is, you know, the heart that is free from vice, from evil, right? It doesn't want evil for people. It doesn't have those, you know, just it's, it's so connected with Allah swt and wanting so much to draw near Him that it's free from all of those diseases where it would wish harm on anybody else, where it transgresses and sins and, you know, does anything that would displease Allah swt. So this heart is sound. It's that light that we described in the beginning, right? The heart that's just full of light and removed from all those black spots. That's the Qalbun Salim. It's just intact. It's vibrant. And it's, it knows, you know, it's creator and it has a connection with its creator, you know. So that's why, you know, Khushu having presence, you know, being able to really, again, feel the power of the word of Allah swt. You know, if you cry when you're listening to the book of Allah, that's a great sign. It's a great sign that your heart has life and that there's, you know, that you're, you feel this connection with your Lord. And there's, there's so many YouTube videos, subhanAllah, of people who aren't even Muslim, but their hearts are alive. You've seen them, right? There are non-Muslims who cry and weep at the Qur'an. Or even the Avan. Because that's fitrah. We all are, you know, we're all going back to the same one, right? And some hearts can be awakened just even in a language they don't understand, but there's something about, you know, the power of the book of Allah that reverberates to them, right? And so there's many people that are like that, but they don't even have to be Muslim. So what do we say about a Muslim who doesn't feel those things, right? That's what we covered, right? But the Qalbun-Sarim, it feels, you know, that connection and its sound, and as I said, it's free of corruption, disease, and evil, and the way to attain that heart is active work and cleansing. Just like you cleanse a container, right? You're always cleansing containers, why? Even, you know, there's, for example, I'm always like, you know, I need to say the science of it, but I have a soap dish in my kitchen sink. I know many of us do. I'm always shocked. I'm like, why does this get dirty? I don't understand why a soap dish gets, you know, grime and like it starts looking dirty because I'm like, it's full of soap on the inside and I'm always rinsing it on the outside. But subhan Allah still needs to be cleansed, right? So I'm, I find myself cleaning a soap dish and I think it's, you know, ironic. But the heart is similar, even though it's, you know, it's not, you're never going to get it to a place where you just need to stop cleaning it. You have to constantly clean it day to day exercise that we have to do. So that's why studying this is not just like a subject that you, you know, read from cover to cover and then it's like, okay, I'm good. No, you have to implement it and there's active, you know, exercises that you're, you know, we're going to get into as we study it. But that's why, you know, when you think of the Qalb al-Sarim, you want to look at, again, this heart that is intact, but it's intact because the one who is, you know, the possessor of the heart is working and recognizes that it's, you know, it's something that they, they have to commit to every single day. And, you know, the prophecy is a perfect example of that. I mean, when you look at his Sida, we know who he is, he knew who he was. He knew that he was where he was destined to be. He knows he's the beloved of Allah. He knows that Jannah is already written for him. But yet he still work, you know, actively was engaged with his Lord, actively did things to keep that connection thriving and alive. So for anybody who thinks, oh, I don't have to pray or I don't have to do this. You know, those are all just, cancel those things out because nobody, with any credibility says those things. Who's Muslim? A Muslim knows that it is a lifelong commitment to be a Muslim. And that means active engagement with your, with your faith and being constantly working on yourself as of work in progress. Yes? Right. That's a very good point. And that's, you know, I think you, I haven't been here in the beginning, but we did, in sharing my own story, I did mention how, you know, getting caught up in the outward form is a big problem, right? Because you're right. We shouldn't put too much emphasis on practice per se. It really is about the heart. And there are very good people, Muslim and non-Muslim, who might not be all, you know, completely, you know, like they haven't perfected or really gotten into some of the things that they should, in terms of their spiritual practice, and found that, you know, rhythm, I guess you could say, where they're doing things actively and consistently, but they still have goodness in them, and we can't deny that. People are good, you know, and that goodness comes from Allah swt. And so we shouldn't discount people based on, you know, what they do. But in terms of, you know, our faith, the point of all of this is to bring them together, to bring the outward and the inward into balance, right? So that you are actively doing all of the things that you should be doing because you recognize that's the purpose of your creation. Allah swt created you to worship Him. So prayer isn't optional. Prayer is mandatory on you because you realize, like, that's why I'm here. And all of the blessings that I've been given and all of the, you know, the benefits or the privileges of existence are, you know, are, you know, from Allah swt. Gifts, but in order for me to, we can never repay Him, but the least I can do is, you know, is to worship Him as He asks to be worshiped. And prayer is the first thing we're going to be asked about on the Day of Judgment. So you take your prayer seriously, but then at the same time, you also realize that, you know, you're definitely not above people and that you shouldn't, you know, see yourself as that and that you're constantly, like I've been, like we've been saying, you're a work in progress. And so you have that humility that makes you more focused on your own internal state than just, you know, looking at people and checking what they're doing and what they're not doing. That's not for any of us to do. Allah swt is the ultimate judge. But I think the point of, you know, again, our faith is to bring these two in balance together. And so if there's a disconnect in either or the other, where you're not practicing enough, you know, or you're doing so much that you're starting to, you know, look at other people and judge them, there's a problem with both. You know, we should just be very focused on ourselves and our own practice, but yes, serve the creation of Allah swt with humility and with sincerity, all as part of our acts of devotion to Him, right? It all comes back full circle to us wanting to get closer to Allah swt, right? So, but thank you for sharing. Yes. How do you reconcile? Well, a lot of it does have to do with our upbringing, right? The environments that we were raised in. Because you have people who are raised in loving, nurturing homes and they've been given models of people with really good character. You know, there's people who are not Muslim, but they've been raised in homes where they don't lie, they don't drink, they don't cheat, they're good people, they're taught to serve others. And so this is very common. It's not that we are the only people there's virtues in all different faiths and backgrounds, so if you're raised in an environment where that's your life and people around you, that's the kind of people that you've been, you know, you know, enriched by, that's going to have an effect on you and your character is going to be built by that. Conversely, you could be raised in a Muslim household that's toxic, that's dysfunctional. So you have a faith, you know, the home is, you know, all centered around a faith, individuals in the home aren't complying with the faith and they're actually acting out of it, so it can cause, you know, problems for a person, right, growing in that type of an environment. And that's where a lot of people's spiritual struggles do come from. It's like from experience. Well, like, you know, I believe Islam to be true, but then I have all these negative people or examples, you know, around me that are not, you know, have spiritual conflicts, right? Because it doesn't, you can't reconcile the two. If you're a believer you should have a certain type of a character, so how do you, you know, say the Shahada, how do you go and greet people in the Masjid, and there's, you know, many people, unfortunately, who do that. They'll come into the Masjid and they'll be so, you know, great with everybody else, but then in their homes they're tyrannical. So this can, you know, obviously cause a lot of people's struggles, but I think it comes down to, yeah, the environment that a person was raised with and that's why we see goodness in all people, you know, that Allah's Panthana, you know, it's from him, ultimately, but he, there's definitely virtuous people that are amongst us that don't necessarily, you know, it's not because of Islam that they have those virtues, but the same ideas are taught in other traditions as well, you know, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, all the great major religions, we have very similar ideals in terms of morality, in terms of, you know, think, you know, high goals that people want and virtues. We have, you know, it's all similar. Okay, are there any questions so far? So let me just see the time check. Yes. Right. Yes. Actively sinning. Yes. Exactly. Thank you. So yes. Did everybody get that? So if you're, you know, in an environment where you are around negativity and toxicity, you're likely going to be affected by that. It's going, your heart is going to gradually be darkened, right? And that's why Sahbah matters. That's why it matters who you spend your time with. If you spend time with people who pull you away from the members of Allah's side, you will likely fall into their same patterns of behavior. The opposite is true. If you, you know, spend time with people who remind you of Allah, they're going to increase you. You're going to feel more connected with him. So it's very important to look at the people that you spend the most of your time with. And then the black and hard is where you're actively doing something to, you know, to take away that light source where you are sinning, you're doing, you're transgressing, you're not fulfilling your obligations, you're not praying, you're not doing the obligations that you should be doing. That is going to accumulate as, you know, kind of like a cancer around your heart. You want to think of it that way. A spiritual heart. It's cancerous. Sins are cancerous, right? And what does cancer do? If anybody, from the medical background knows, it's there's cells that rapidly grow and they take over whatever they're growing on to the point that they destroy the healthy tissue and eventually cause it to die. And so, may Allah protect us from that, right? So those distinctions are important, but thank you for mentioning that. So, now I just wanted to go over the biography of the author, because again it's important to know who he is and why he put this beautiful text together for us. So this biography is actually comprised by our very own Shehrami here who's a spiritual counselor here. May Allah protect him. He's also the husband of Dr. Rania Awad. So please make the offer for him as well for contributing to this. But Imam al-Mawd, he was born in the country of Mauritania in the year 1260, Hijrah or 1844. He was born into one of the religious clans known as the Zawaya in Mauritania which made scholarship their primary focus. They took every effort to pass on knowledge to every successive generation. So he was, Alhamdulillah, born into the perfect environment, right, for this. He came from a long line of scholars who were also accomplished authors and religious judges, Qadis, who ran traditional Islamic universities known as Mahdara's. His father is Qadi Ahmed Fal, the son of Qadi Muhammadin Fal, the son of Qadi Al-Amin, the son of Qadi Al-Mukhtar, the son of Qadi Al-Faa Al-Musa. Even though many of his grandfathers were Qadis or judges, Muhammad Mawlud chose not to take the position of a judge, preferring to spend his time authoring books and especially with the focus around spirituality, tasawaf, and the Arabic language. So those were his specialties. He's from a family known as the yin, who are descendants of Jafar Ibn Abi Talib, the cousin of the Prophet As-Salaam. His mother is Mariam Bint Muhammad Mawlud, Ibn Al-Nahi, and she was also very knowledgeable. And she is credited to be his first teacher. So for all the mothers in the room, take pride in that, Alhamdulillah. He's one of many scholars who've said the same. I believe Imam Shafi, many of our great scholars, that their mothers were their very first teachers. Alhamdulillah. While he was still a child, he memorized the entire Quran at the hands of his mother. So his mother, again, Alhamdulillah, was his first teacher but also his first Quran teacher and produced a half of. So even if you're not necessarily teaching your children but you're still putting them in environments where they're learning the Book of Allah, inshallah, you have a part of that. You'll get the reward of that, dropping them off to teachers or Sunday schools where your children are learning for both mothers and fathers is a great thing to do. So inshallah, may Allah reward everyone here who does that and encourage us to do that, to have our children always connected to the Quran. But here's an example of a mother who did that for her son, right? He was a great scholar of his time and authored many works on what he saw as much needed relevant knowledge. In total, he authored 70 works including books, poems and commentaries. And he passed away in the year 1323 in Mauritania. So this book is written in the format of a poem actually in Arabic. So has anybody actually read parts of it or any part of it you have? Alhamdulillah, good. Very good, Alhamdulillah. So yeah, it's written with the Arabic text isn't in this or my translation, I don't know if any of the new versions are. Is there Arabic in your version? No? Okay, so there's no Arabic at all in this, yeah. So my, because I know they reprinted it, but mine is a little older. But yeah, it's a poem and so Subhanallah, he we can just go ahead and jump into the introduction on page 13. So I wanted to read from this part of this introduction page, inshallah. Does anybody want to read as well? Anybody like to read out loud? Yes, you'd like to read out loud? Please do, Bismillah. So go ahead and read for us starting from page 13. Go all the way until we have the word on the third paragraph, and then we'll see if anybody else wants to jump in. Bismillah. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. So my page 13 is the introduction to purification. Oh, that's page one? Oh, okay. Okay, sorry. Okay, I should actually grab a new copy, maybe. We're on the same page, literally. Okay, so where it says courtesy, the heart, I hope it's the same. I'm like, has anything changed? Oh, thank you so much. Perfect, okay. Great, so yes, we'll go all the way until the next page. Wow, ours is very different. I need a new copy, inshallah. Okay, please, Bismillah. Thank you. So we've learned quite a few different terms here, right? We should be very familiar. I think for the most part we should all know what adab is, right? We all know adab is manners. But this idea of shame I think is really important to talk about because as mentioned in this last paragraph that was just read, we've come from a culture and a time now where people really look down on shame and there's a reason for that because, you know, shaming by a person to another person is one thing, right? But the actual concept of shame is part of our fit that it's a good thing to have an internal shame where you yourself feel bad about the things that you've done, you feel remorse, you feel regret and then you're uncomfortable because of that feeling, right? That's not a bad thing. That's a good thing. But sometimes they're conflated and it's because, you know, in a society that doesn't have an appreciation, maybe you could say for religious tradition the way it used to, right? Now, as I mentioned earlier, people are so, you know, repelled by anything that comes from organized religion that as soon as you even mention those words, they push it away and any ideas that come from those, you know, things also they push away. So an idea of shame has become, they're shaming shame, right? To the point where anytime you even talk about people feeling bad about certain things you're being, you know, like you're the one that's wrong. Like how could you shame them? But that's not right, right? We have as Muslims to appreciate that we have fitra and that fitra is part of the fitra is agitated when we sin, right? And that agitation can come out with a type of internal disgust where you feel by yourself and if you've ever sinned and you know, some, I don't know if it's a hadith or how, but I've just heard it over the years that, you know, when you're sinning in the midst of the sin, Iblis is right there with you until you do it, right? Like he wants you to get to the point where you're doing whatever the sin is. But once the sin is over and done, he flees because his job is done, right? It's like, call us, he got you to the point that he wanted you to do. So that's why oftentimes after people do things they know they shouldn't do what happens? Because you feel horrible, right? You feel so wrong. That is your own soul, right? Your soul basically speaking to you and reminding you like you shouldn't have done that. That's wrong. But that's internal shame and that's not a bad thing. I wanted to mention that because I feel like we're getting this total opposing message constantly everywhere we look about any shame at all. But I agree that people shouldn't shame one another. That's not Islam. You have no right to shame another human being, even your own child. When they make mistakes you should correct and you should be the parent and be the objective person that can help them see where they went wrong. But you are not in a position to shame them, humiliate them make them feel lesser than and send them into their bedrooms like don't do that. Or with your spouses or with anybody, your siblings or whoever is in your life sometimes people can get really ugly with other people when they make mistakes or sin or act out. But it's very self-righteous, right? It's from your own nefs. It has nothing to do with them and wanting them to be better or it's just like you're offended and it's personal. And now you want to angrily shame them. That's not Islam and that's not anybody has a right to do that to another person. And there are so many examples of Subhanallah, the Prophet said I'm showing us how we should actually like for example the woman who came to him having had just committed adultery she was feeling shame and she wanted to confess her sin but the Prophet said how did he react? He walked away from her he he was acting like he didn't even hear her because he didn't want to you know put her in that position you know but she was very she pushed and pushed and because she wanted to be punished she committed adultery she slept you know she acted outside of her marriage so she wanted to face her punishment in this world which is what? Capital punishment is real and at that time he chose but he didn't want to initially do it so he just kept walking because he didn't want to do that but here we have people who when they confess something to their parents or their spouses or whatever the response is just so negative and it makes them feel even worse about themselves you know I work with youth so I see this a lot a lot of youth have hard time opening up to their parents because the parents' response is to shame and it's all about how could you do this to me and what will people say and it's not even about your child and their achara and their heart and their connection with Allah it's all you and if you really pay attention to your words a lot of the times it's totally about you because you can't handle them doing something that's going to compromise you so that's where the anger comes from and that's where the punishments come from and some people take it to a whole different degree and physically assault and do really horrible things but it's all nefs whereas if you truly cared about them you would want to stop and counsel see what's happening oh my god you're under a spiritual attack shaitan has got you and I need to help you out of that so let me envelope you with love and compassion and understanding and try to bring you back not to push you further away so it's important to again know the distinction between a good healthy internal shame and shaming that's negative and toxic and unacceptable because I think we're conflating all being the same and they're not okay so we stopped at some anthropologists yes I'm so glad you brought this up because you know I don't know I'm kind of curious to know who or what led you to believe that modesty is defined by those specific terms because in some respects yes but have you for example have you studied the four temperaments in Islam okay so the four temperaments is a whole beautiful science that actually speaks to the colorful you know nature of human personality and it definitely doesn't impose limitation on boys or girls or men or women that you have to be you know this timid quiet person no it actually says there are four temperaments that people can have and some of them are boisterous and you know very strong and fiery and active and others are you know softer and more introverted but that's definitely not the golden standard that last one that in order for you to be a good Muslim that you have to be necessarily quiet and timid and introverted and not have you know what I mean that's not I don't know I told that but that's certainly not true right it is culture it's absolutely culture and that's why we have to push back like those notions are not right and if you feel that people are stepping out and they're you know isolating or targeting a certain demographic with a certain type of shame that's unfair I would push back on that and say no because our girls and I you know I don't know if you've ever sat in any of my sessions but I work a lot with about female empowerment and so for me that's something that we should definitely push back on if you observe it and you feel like people are culturally imposing their views in a masjid space and actually you know taking away a girl's ability to be herself because of their own cultural views that's not another masjid is a place for everybody and not to say that you know everybody should be walking around screaming and you know doing whatever there's decorum of course this is a place of it's a sanctified place of rules that but it should be across the board is what I'm saying right all the rules should be for everybody right and if it's and if it's happening where it's not a gendered issue right then that's different because they're telling everybody quiet hash we're in a masjid but if it's like your girls are being isolated like you your girls you should not do that that's where I would say well wait a second you know their children their young first of all and the gender factor doesn't matter you know that's if you're gonna teach someone to have decorum or you know proper behavior don't gender it don't make it about a matter of that because in Islam those rules are for all of us when we look at adab and we're looking at all of these you know ways of being they there it's for men and women boys and girls you know it's not about or this group gets special rules and this group can do whatever they want that's entirely cultural and those double standards are so toxic and that's what pushes a lot of people out of the masjid it's why people are unmasked because they don't feel welcome coming to the masjid they don't feel like there's a space for them but this is the house of Allah SWT so that's why as a mother you know if you're observing that I would say go right to the leadership and say we need to change the way we talk about these things because I don't want to come across like my girls or the girls are the only ones who should be talked to this way if we have rules make it for everybody you know and yeah push back on that but thank you for bringing that up because I think it's a very you know it's there but it's like we sometimes don't talk about these things so it's like hard to address them but when you mention these I'm sure everybody's minds kind of you know we're all like thinking about things that we've had and now it's something right and maybe we'll be more aware of it next time maybe we can step in you know if we see something that we think is being unfair where it does you know impose something that again is not from our religion modesty is about having you know just a proper boundary you know knowing boundaries and really being able to protect yourself from harm you know it's a lot of it has to do with preventative you know measures for yourself and for other people but it's about boundaries and just creating that you know having that kind of understanding but it's boundaries for everybody not just a girls issue or a women's issue yes absolutely and I just actually wrote something the other day I posted it but I wanted to tweak it so I took it off but I actually wrote the whole thing and the whole thing was about this topic that modesty is not just for girls because this message is very it's actually hurting our boys our boys need to be reminded that modesty is a part of being a Muslim and so if we turn a blind eye to you know toxic masculinity which is everywhere and the culture that it's breeding even in young boys where boys are perfectly comfortable walking around without their shirts and they're just showing all this machismo bravado and they're talking a certain way where they engage in like really inappropriate jokes and banter that is totally void of all modesty and we think oh it's okay but it's boy culture locker room talk boys bantering boys will be boys let them be but then we do the opposite where the second our girls say anything or show like a little bit of something you know we shame her and make her it's like what are you doing that is the most distorted and horrible message because you're empowering one to do things that are actually detrimental to the spiritual health boys should be totally modest they should not feel you know open to showing their bodies the same way a girl does why why should a boy feel totally comfortable with that you know how did I like I have two boys and they were recently at a sports event and you know someone mentioned that all the boys were taking off their shirts and my eldest son was like refusing it's like no way I refused to that and all the boys were totally confused like what's the big deal you know we're out it's hot but he just hits part of his fit that right now he's only 11 and I was like I'm so proud of him that he didn't give in that he didn't give into the pure pressure and feel the need to show off and show himself that he maintained his own modesty because he didn't feel comfortable and that's something that we we've inculcated from that as young children you know I don't think parents it's not cute to have your children walking around like you know in their underwear or with their clothes off even toddlers why why is that cute and you see some people it's no big deal no if you don't do that from a young age where you teach them that their bodies are beautiful but they should protect them and they should protect to keep you know what I mean keep that for themselves then God forbid you know it can lead to other things it can lead to them God forbid either being taken advantage of or them just getting way too comfortable with with that part of their being at an early age which is exactly what's happening in society it's hyper sexualized young children are being taught to see themselves as that way and so that leads to early engagement and early promiscuity and early behaviors elicit behaviors that we don't want any of our kids to be doing but it's related because when modesty is taken out of the picture and it's just like be free and you know if you you know have it flaunted and it's okay and it's hot and it's like no you know that's you know not that's not from our faith so I agree thank you for mentioning that it's a for all men and women I'm sorry I saw some hands yes okay so the two older ones are okay so this is a you know pretty big topic and we address this a lot in our parenting sessions because a lot of parents are struggling with the same thing so I want to put that out there you're not the only one a lot of parents are having and it's a new world you know we have to our generation you know internet kind of started with us but what it's become is so different especially when you consider the immense pressures that teenagers are under already even without social media they already have so much internal pressure that they you know from themselves but also in their peer groups to you know to to fit in and so then you add social media it's a whole other layer and there's a lot of I mean I don't know if you how often you talk to teens but if you talk to them they'll kind of give you an idea of like the politics or the you know the rules of engagement for teens on social media it's different than adults like it's it's it's much more complicated like you have to be very careful that you don't come across too desperate but then at the same time you have to reciprocate so yeah if you're gonna pose a picture post a picture of yourself in a modest attire but then a friend even if it's from an opposite gender is liking your pictures it's kind of like social currency you gotta trade back and forth with likes you know and follows and it's it's a lot more pressure than I think adults can appreciate so we have to be understanding that if you once you open that portal of social media for them there are rules of engagement that they feel that they have to oblige by but I think the conversations you have with them that constantly remind them to not give give away their like to not compromise their principles is really important because when I talk to teens I that's my focus do not compromise yourself do not put yourself out there in a in a position that can eventually harm you because the digital footprint is real people are sometimes not aware of that because teens have a problem first of all with self-regulation because you know their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed and so they really can be very impetuous and and they get excited they're excitable so something happens in the moment they snap it boom or they send a picture boom but they don't realize like that has a lasting footprint that could actually really come back to harm you maybe five two three one you're down the line you don't want to do that so when you're you know using social media be incredibly responsible with it and actually you know before you post anything go back maybe you can write like sort of like a checklist for them where you have specific questions that they have to answer before they hit send you know which is is it gonna make a lot angry first of all you know whatever it is I'm posting is it gonna make your mom and dad upset could this somehow affect my you know reputation moving forward you know down the line but they kind of have like a little brief checklist and then say that's your internal checklist and if you think it's green light go I trust you and I trust your judgment but remember you know that this is what I'm protecting you from and I think as long as you have those constant check ins you're okay because remember again it's so hard if they're in that world it's hard and that's why I mean I personally I always tell parents try to delay it as often as possible I mean 1670 is still good I see some parents 11 12 year olds they're on social media and you know I was it's sad but you know I do have extended family members and people that are you know that are connected to me on Instagram and you can see you know on the explorer page what people are liking and I've I stumbled on someone's page the other day and I was just shocked because I can see even if you don't do that if you go to a certain person's page let's say a celebrity the top likes they'll tell you you know who they are if they're connected to you you know so like let's say someone like Kylie Jenner you know she's got almost what 2 million maybe followers on Instagram if you go to Kylie Jenner's page whatever post she has if one of the people that are connected to you likes them you'll see it you know it's not like you have to actively go look for it right so I remember you know just recently I did that and I saw very young girls liking incredibly provocative images that she had posted and I was shocked I was like oh no she's like way too young to like that image that image is horrible it's very like talk to our youth about you know engagement and like you know you shouldn't be observing certain things you shouldn't certainly be endorsing certain things and a like is an endorsement whether you like it or not you know if your friends are going out and they're getting drunk and playing beer bong and you're liking it because you think it's a funny picture you are endorsing that lifestyle so make it you know have that discernment you know what I mean and those are the conversations I think you have to have to help them see like even though you think you're being a good friend by just it's not a big deal it's just a picture what you're saying is that I you know I approve of that lifestyle and that's totally you know antithetical to your your faith your belief system so don't do that you know but giving them I think guidelines on how they engage is really important and not just saying oh I'm just going to try to be your friend and let you know step back that's a mistake don't do that as parents you should be overseeing what they're doing once on social media and giving them guidelines constantly you know inshallah yes absolutely absolutely no thank you because all the other stuff is yes has to do with their you know relationships with that but most importantly is absolutely the spiritual impact right because yes being desensitized to things is also a chronic problem that we have in the world we've all we're all afflicted by desensitization we've all been desensitized to sin like the worst social ills around us because we've seen it so much so exposing your eye to things will lead you down that path and that's why when they're engaging on social media they should be very select they should have you know they should be very specific about what they're going to do they're not going to do and you know just giving them those guidelines and that type of nasiha I think should hopefully help inshallah yes first of all I have to ask are your parents in the room are they excellent job father this is a very articulate and smart young man mashallah may Allah bless you what grade are you in 11th very I haven't met an 11th grader that had that much mashallah just eloquence and ability to you know really put out such a great question thank you so much for that very thoughtful um you know you're speaking to a homeschooler so I don't know if you want to hear my answer um but with with respect with respect I have nieces and nephews that are in public school I have many friends that put their kids in public school I really think a lot of it has to do with the parenting and clearly mashallah your parents have filled you with the sense of identity and pride in who you are and that strength that sees this as a challenge I don't know if all you know students have that you know same you know like ability to do that because maybe their environment is different so if you're asking me generally speaking I mean I do believe and I'm just being honest I think that public schools have gotten to a point where they're very toxic not just for Muslim kids I think for all children and this is why we're seeing a huge increase in so many different mental health issues and you know a lot of problems that high schoolers are experiencing and I know I have friends who are social workers they work on campus and they meet with regularly children who are struggling with drugs with suicidal ideation with a lot of you know anxiety disorders and it's very common it's not like it's just a certain group of kids you know when I was in school there were groups that we thought like okay those are those kids you know they're caught up in all the bad stuff but now everybody's doing it and it's across you know all demographics or all socioeconomic backgrounds you have some of you know according to the research I've read and heard some of the most affluent areas are actually the worst where you have rampant drug abuse a lot of promiscuity so it's like where's the safe haven anymore right and I feel like our schools are really turning into just really really toxic places for children so I'm not generally speaking but again when I feel like a family is on it and they their children have are supplemented with other things that can protect them from all of these things they manage because I've met several students like yourself Masha'Allah who don't seem like they're faced or in actually they can they're likely doing you know good work where they're actually pushing back and trying to be a force of good for the students around them you know so I think it just depends on every family needs to make that decision for themselves but I do think that we are seeing a trend more and more families not just Muslim are moving away from the public school model and looking into alternative schooling that includes homeschooling that includes private schools that includes co-ops and really creating you know a lot of people for example in tech it's a known fact some of the most wealthiest and successful in tech do not send their children to conventional school programs they actually look for and or create alternative schools that are very much similar to a more you know tailored but homeschooling sort of model where it's you know looking at the individual students needs and helping you know cultivate healthy environments where they're not having to do a lot of social pressures so I think you know to answer your question yeah it depends on the individual family but generally speaking I do feel like we as a community because we're seeing not only social you know problems affecting the youth but also faith crises this is the other problem because you know there are there's an agenda and we have to be very clear about that there is an agenda to deconstruct people's concept of faith and religion and to kind of you know just push them into a different direction for example how many of you have heard of Ein Rand right so her philosophies she's a philosopher objectivism I think is what it's called is very popular in academia and even in the high school level the Einfound foundation excuse me they send like hundreds and thousands of books for free every year to public schools across this country and her entire philosophy is very anti-religion in every way it's very much about just you do you you know it's all about self the self and really there's no social like the responsibility for the other it's really much more about taking care of your own needs but these philosophies are becoming so popular I remember reading somewhere that her book was in the Library of Congress second after the bible you know in terms of popularity and so it's her philosophies are everywhere and this is why you see a lot of people in high school but also at the college level increasingly pushing back on you know organized religion and finding ways to get their message across you know what I mean in direct ways in the classroom environment I remember I had a mom say that her daughter she was a high schooler she was very practicing almost at the point I mean she was doing her prayers masha'Allah and she was very close to wearing her hijab full time she was wearing it part time and then she took a course on philosophy and her instructor was a total atheist and you know pummeling all those students with all these questions and making them question and doubt you know all the faiths but on specific social issues so what they do is they take social justice issues right and they'll start making innocent children start questioning their faith so that caused her a big conflict because one of the issues which is actually a big social justice issue now or it has been for a while but it's very popular you know to talk about and it does cause a lot of youth, muslim youth conflict is the lgbtq rights issues right this is a big you know I have I've met with several families where their teens are struggling with faith because they don't know how to reconcile that part of Islam you know they have friends who are gay or they you know from kindergarten or whatever and they just don't know how to navigate that so what they're left with is a crisis in faith and the next thing you know you know they're doubting just recently I had someone call me with that very concern so it's common but this is what unfortunately being in an environment where you're being conditioned to think a certain way on the notion that you're being deconditioned that's what's kind of interesting is that they sell it like they're helping you free your mind from the confines of you know being indoctrinated by organized religion but then they're just filling your mind with their own version of their organized religion right which is basically hedonism and whatever you want to do do it so you have to kind of you know ask yourself as a parent do you want to put your child in an environment like that you know where they're going to be susceptible to all kinds of different messages and are they prepared for that environment like that that's really the question someone like yourself again I don't know your background but if you've been attending classes and you're masha Allah learned and you've studied your deen and you kind of already have a solid grounding of who you are maybe you're the type of person that's like I'm up for debate let's talk you know and you challenge those ideas right and you're willing to or you're able to defend your position but I don't know if everybody is in that position to do that so that's where I think it's a very personal conflict yes a lot of hints which is so important I'm so glad you mentioned that because one of the things is whether your kids go to Islamic school private school or even home school it's very important that we as parents actively engage them with their community center or somehow find a supplement where they have another environment that actually does help them in their faith identity right and so and the research also shows that that the more you invite your children to participate with their local religious center the less likely they're going to fall into the six major risk behaviors that teens fall into right drug abuse alcohol promiscuity all those things that we're worried about smoking all of those things get reduced the more they're engaged with their religious you know so it's very important to offer that as a supplement because you know if they're 90% of their time is with students or in an environment that has no mention of Islam or even against Islam possibly and it's just really spiritually totally dry and there's nothing there then how do we expect them to bolster themselves and to fortify themselves to be able to tackle the serious issues that they're taking on if we're not giving them some supplement to all of that right to counter that and so the way you can do that is to either bring them here or another option if it's hard for you logistically and I highly encourage parents to do this is to create groups in your home for your children invite their friends invite their parents or you know whoever that you need to invite but if you can't if you don't have like a place to outsource then take the reins and do it it's once a month or once every other week or whatever is easy for you even quarterly is better than nothing because it provides a space and a time for them to be around kids that are like them and to learn and I mean I've been to home halaqas where they do that they'll have you know an effort where all the parents will come together and it's like a one maybe once a month thing or once every two three month but then they'll invite a speaker they'll invite a popular speaker to come and say you know this is for you guys we're doing this because we want to provide a space for you to be with your peer groups maybe kids you like but you don't see enough because you go to different schools and everybody's over schedule and you don't have enough time but at least we can help you socialize in a good halaqa healthy way and learn at the same time from a speaker that's relevant who's going to be able to speak to them on that level it's interesting it's not a boring speech that you force them to come to because sometimes parents think like oh I'm gonna bring him to jama hodba and that's it well if the jama hodba is like way over their head and they're literally dying inside because they're like why am I here you know this is the most boring thing ever you know and they are you know looking at their phones the entire time do not pat yourself on the back because you brought them to jama that's not enough you know you might have actually made them never want to come back to the masjid because that was such an awful experience so look for the speakers that your kids actually like and I'm just going to do a plug now because I trust our dear teacher sister henna mohtar she posted the other day about sheikh who's going to come here on I think the 25th right sheikh Hamza Karamali right is that his correct name so he's coming on the 25th if you have a teenager you should come by the way make a note of your calendar but a teenage boy especially they say he's fantastic with boys like he's really good with youth not just boys I'm sure girls can attend to but he's really good with youth and he talks about all these hot topic issues in a relevant way where the youth feel like okay this guy gets us that's the kind of speaker you want to be looking for for your children because you know we have much a lot of diverse you know healthy robust speakers list of people all over the country that come and go you know through our massages and our institutions but that doesn't mean that every single person is going to match you know just like so you want to look to which speaker do your kids like and then see about their programming and see if you can bring them to those events you know but make it an active thing where you do ahead of time don't and one thing I'll just say this and no teenager has ever asked me to say this but I feel like parents also need to be respectful of team schedules and their lives I really think it's wrong to impose what you want on your children just because they're your kids and you just do what I say your kids will respect you much more if you go to them and say listen you know I know you've got finals and papers to write and a lot of things going on you might have plans with your friends but guess what I would like to spend some time with you too so can we mark a date in the calendar and you let me know what day works for you this is a really nice healthy respectful exchange that shows your teens that you respect their schedules because I think the worst thing to do is to drag your teen by you know just totally they don't want to be here but you're dragging them because you think it's good for them you're going to build resentment in their heart they're not going to want to be here it's just not healthy to do that so don't do that have a plan ahead make it a priority inshallah this is a really insightful are there other other hands yes you and then yourself go ahead please listen no it's a great point and I agree 100% keeping your kids active and extracurricular activities things are going to benefit them life skills sports all of those things is really valuable and important it's great for confidence building it's great for the benefits they'll reap for decades if they do that and it protects them like you said from boredom which is what usually people do when they're bored as they resort to wasting time browsing watching YouTube videos for hours on end or binging Netflix or whatever people do it's because they're not doing something more productive so I agree with that and for youth that is a way of avoiding a lot of those problems so thank you for that and hopefully any parents who might not have thought about those things maybe that can be a priority about how can I look at and especially if you're in a the city of Pleasanton I know all the cities have and they have their calendars up online they have year round classes that they offer that are not necessarily connected to a school but still are sometimes even funer they have fun options that they do try to make available for parents and youth that are after school hours so to accommodate for school but I would say look into those city classes and see if they're affordable if they're not you know terribly you're not breaking the bank taking them yes so I'll check that out but so for next week just because we're almost out of time here for next week sorry looking at the new book here I'd like you to please go look into the first three diseases here we're going to try and actually go to four we're going to try to be ambitious the previous session I did we only had about an hour and 15 minutes per class we have more time here so we can actually give more time to each one so maybe we could do four so we'll do miserliness right all the way through to what is it, envy? no love of the world? is that correct? oh wait I should just go you know I'm flipping through why don't I just go to the first so yeah go to miserliness, wantonness, hatred and iniquity so we'll go through those four for next week so if you can read from page 10 to 20 inshallah and finish the rest of the introduction introduction's got a lot of great insights we didn't get through all of it but read that on your own all the way up until then and then we're going to go through each disease inshallah and we'll talk in depth okay and if you have any questions about each disease please come prepared because this is exactly the kind of discussion I really appreciate that you guys were so actively participating that's awesome that's kind of classes I like to have so bring your questions inshallah and we'll see you next week we'll end in Dua inshallah Dua inshallah