 The Chevrolet program starring Jack Benny and Frank Black's orchestra. And now Frank Black and his orchestra open the program with I Like Mountain Music. Wouldn't you like to receive, absolutely free, a brand new Chevrolet 6, any model you want? All right, listen to this. Starting tomorrow is a feature of National Drive at Chevrolet Month. One of those big, fine-looking Chevrolet 6's will be given away every day, absolutely free. 30 days, 30 cars, one car awarded every day. All you have to do is to visit any Chevrolet dealer, drive or ride in a Chevrolet car, then ride down on the entry blank, which the dealer will furnish, the reason why you like the new Chevrolet 6. Remember, in order to enter the contest, you must visit a Chevrolet dealer, get a demonstration, and obtain an entry blank from him. It doesn't matter how many or how few words you use or what kind of writer you are. The best reason for liking the new Chevrolet, the best in the opinions of the judges, win the free Chevrolet cars. This opportunity is open to any person in the United States over 18 years of age, and one entry makes you eligible for any of the cars given away from the day you enter, throughout the balance of the month. So plan now to go to your Chevrolet dealer tomorrow and enter this contest. Your name may be announced over the radio next Friday night as one of the winners of a new Chevrolet 6. And now, Jack Denny. Hello, Optimist. This is Jack Denny, the Earth Galliper, coming to you again with all the late news events through the courtesy of the morning eye opener, the eyes and fizz of the world. These late news dispatches come to you by telegraph, table, male, female, and liar. The new service that sees all, says all, and soothes all. And I'm sorry I thought of this. The world's latest happening. Let's go, Frank. London, England. American-owned horse wins the Grand National Derby. When asked if he would remain in England, he said nay, nay. More derby news. Frank Black had better buy a new hat. That's for the orchestra, boys, you know. San Francisco, San Francisco, California. George Bernard Shaw arrives here to plead for wine, beer, and whisker. During interview, he says he will match his beard against Anheiser's voice. Atta boy, George. I like that one. That was good, yes. Ah, here, Bombay, India. Weather warmer here. Mahatma Gandhi changes from winter to spring clothes. Tapskin missing from local restaurants. Ah, funny how that boy sees himself in the headlines. New York, New York. People here donate funds to present President Roosevelt with swimming pools. Ah, they want to keep him wet, eh? Special radio message from Mid-Ocean. Garbo Tanks, he come back now and is secretly headed for America. Nobody knows it, but the Associated Press. He is traveling on a Swedish boat disguised as a Finn and Hattie. Garbo is signed to meet car Gable June the 1st. Hollywood, California. Gable starts training with Strangler-Lewitt. Walla Walla, Washington. Walla Walla, conditions improving here and town is now running on both names. Jack, can I read one? Yeah, Mary, go ahead. Shanghai, China. Big Saus, very popular here. Everybody is riding around in them. You mean Rick Saus? Rick Saus, what's that? Okay. Winnipeg, Canada. Spring season starts here with eight feet of snow. Robin's team flying around wearing earmuffs. New York, New York. Groundhog comes out of hole on Thursday of spring. Listen to our program and goes back in again. Oh, well, you can't please everybody. King Tong, Africa. Missionaries arrive here and find cannibals wilder than ever. Howard, what are they wild about? They're wild about the new Chevrolet at $445. The only old-life car in the picture knows that. You said it. NBC Studio, New York. Frank Black and his orchestra will play two tickets to Georgia. Okay, Frank. That was two tickets to Georgia played by Frank Black and his Cotton Club orchestra. Very good, Frank. You know, after all, I mean, you're a musician. You know music. What do you think? I mean, this is really personal. What do you think of that violin solo I played last Friday on Ladies' Night? Well, Jack, I... Oh, you won't talk, eh? Well? Well, do you really want me to tell you the truth? Never mind, Frank. It's a long program. You know, I don't want to go through that. Oh, Jack. Well, Mary, what? Here's some fan mail. You got an answer to your Ladies' Night program last Friday. Oh, yes. You remember, folks, we had the Ladies' Night. Remember last Friday night, we got some very lovely wires and letters regarding that program? Ah, here's one I'd like to read. Here's a wire from the Ladies' Tea Club in Dunk Sender, Ohio. It says, we thought your Ladies' Night was a complete failure. We sent our husbands out so we could listen into your program and we weren't even embarrassed. What happened to the farmer's daughter? Ah, she's an old lady now. Here's a letter from Omaha, Nebraska from the Ladies' Bridge Circle. It says, we heard your program last Friday night. You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time. But this Friday, we're going to bed early. Oh, well, you can't please everybody. Oh, here's one from a man in Luntwagon, Ohio. It says, congratulations on your Ladies' Night. Did I enjoy you? My wife and I, my wife and I haven't been separated in 20 years. But on your Ladies' Night, she gave me the night off and $10. And did I enjoy you? Oh, well, you can't please everybody. Thanks, boy. You just heard from the Chevrolet Sextet. And now, James Melton, our own Jimmy, 6 feet 2, bless his little heart, will add a little class to this program by singing that popular Irish ballad, Mavis. Thank you, Jack. You're welcome, Jimmy. As they, Jimmy, before you sing, Jimmy asked you one thing. What did you really think? No, I mean, what did you really think of my violin solo last Friday? You know, I can't get anything out of Frank Black. I mean, tell me the truth, Jimmy. What did you really think of it, huh? Well, now, Jack, if you must know, I think you're a swell solo. Thanks, but I mean my violin solo, Jimmy, you know? I think you're a gentleman, a scholar. I think you're one of the finest cats I know, Jimmy. I mean, my music, though. You're a fine comedian with a good gist of jazz. But, Jimmy, I mean, what did you think of my violin? That's what I'm coming to. You've got personality, magnetism, and a fit. But if you can play that fiddle, and my name is Albert Einstein. Thanks, Albert. Sing, Einstein. What do they know about music? It's not appreciated. Play, Frank. Oh, maybe it's awake and remember Look out from your lattice and see The word is awake in your visor When it's up on my hand at the door Your little white soul is in the body It's white with blossom of flame And the two for a deep heart has sent you On your fair hunger of the heart And the two, and they wave Ladies and gentlemen, that was Albert Einstein. Or Jimmy Melton singing maybe. The next week, he will give you his theory on his relatives. And now tonight, folks, yes, we forgot to promise you last week We're going to offer for the big feature of our program A dramatic play. A play of the gay 90s. Not the Roaring 40s or the Bowering 50s, but the gay 90s When men wore celluloid collars and girls wore five-piece bathing suits Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to give you our version Of that famous May-West picture, he done them wrong. And we're going to do them right. Now the action takes place on the Bowery in New York. The Bowery in those days was equivalent to a punch in the nose, a stolen watch, or a bowl. You have no doubt seen this picture, which May-West plays a part of a lady known as Lou. Lou was a nice girl, and every man who fell in love with her gave her a diamond. She had 13 sweethearts, which gave her a grand slam in diamonds. Now the members of our program will play the parts in this show, and Howard Claney will play the parts of the Chevrolet. That you can be sure of. Mary Livingston will take the part of Lou while I, Jack Denny, the Bettymore of the air, will play the part of Cummings, Cummings and Mission Workers. Our supporting cast includes Mr. Ralph Ash, who will assume the role of fighter, the boss in this. Mr. Ash has had many years of state experience, having been 20 years with the old homestead, 30 years with Abie's Irish Rose, and he will be back in the old homestead after tonight's performance. Our little play will go on immediately after the next number, so pick out a good piece close to your radio. First come, first served. And now Frank Black will play a brand new number called The Grasses Getting Greener All the Time. And who do you think is going to sing the chorus? Give up, Mary Livingston. Are you nervous, Mary? Uh-huh. Really? Well, it's the first time you know she'll ever be heard and saw all over the air if she ever was heard, rather. And, Mary, what gives you the courage to sing? I heard you play the violin last week. Ah, yes, yes, yes. What repartee plays, Frank? ["The Grasses Getting Greener All the Time"] ["The Grasses Getting Greener All the Time"] That was fine, Mary. Were you nervous? Yes. Did you hear of mob that bait is jealous? Yes. Ah, that was fine, Mary. Oh, Mary? Miss Livingston, do you? Oh, I see. That's the way they are when they get up in the world. Well, now for our play. She's done him right. The opening team takes place in Spider Web Bar Room on the Bowery in the year 1898. You ready, boys? Everything set? All right, Frank. A little turkey. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Frank. Wait, wait, this is a May West play. Wait a minute. Oh, I'll take it again. Come on, come on, Bob, and have one on the house. What's it going to be? One vanilla pint. I'll have a Tony Froday with a fucking... One Tony coming up. Make a pint? Make a pint of banana split straight. Ah, drunkards. Drunkards, all of them. Yay and barely. Yes, a lot of forgotten souls. Ah, but they can be saved. I never did like that before. The less I see of them around us, the better I like it. Who's he, Spider? Well, that's Cummings, the guy that runs the mission next door. Oh, yeah, well, give me another pineapple price. And make mine a bear. Not until April 7th. The theme now changes to Miss Lou's dressing room on the third floor. Hello? Hello? Says we? Yes, sir. Yes, sir? You want to speak to Miss Lou? Yes, sir, she's here. Yes, and in it, I'll call her. Who is it? So any good? It's that Mr. Cummings from the mission. He wants to speak to you all. Oh, that mission, guy, eh? It's about time, you call. Hello, Dorothy Hanson. So you've finally decided to call me, eh? Well, what's on your mind, big boy? Listen, honey, why don't you come up some time? I say, why don't you come up some time? You'll be right over? Okay, sugar. Come on. Well, I'm going to take that fucker and bring him my diamonds. Miss Lou, you sure is like the Northwest Mountain. You always get your man. Why, Selinda, you have your boyfriend, too, haven't you? You're famous, Amanda. How about him, too? You know, this is Friday. I write that line. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Who is it? I think it's Friday, Miss Lou. Hmm, I must ask why. Out! That was me, Paul. Mary, please. That was me, Paul. Mary, take care of your character. Hello, Lou. Oh, it's you, Spider. Listen, Lou, I just heard some bad news. Billet. Your old sweetheart, Chick Anderson, just broke out of the pen and he's coming here to get you. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and he's 24. You should have gone up to see him, Lou. So, Chick blew the coupe, eh? Yeah, Chick blew the coupe. And the Chick Cylinder Coupe Chevrolet for 445 is the best buy on the market today. Power, power. This play is bad enough. Stay out of it. We're the brave ones. I'm just sipping you up to this. Be careful, Lou. And let me tell you another thing. There's something scurry about that missionary guy coming. What do you mean? I mean this. He ain't no missionary guy at all. He's a no-stick around here. They call the hawk. The hawk? How do you know? Eh, I saw the pictures. I was with him, Paul. He's right. I was with him. We saw the pictures. So that's the hawk, eh? Well, leave them to me, spider, and I'll scram. So that missionary guy's a hawk, eh? Oh, well, he can be a pang. Cylinder, you can go if you want to. Thank you, Mrs. Lee. Because I've got to take my little brother to the doctor. He ain't feeling so good. What's the matter? Is he sick, Cylinder? Yes, and the Chevrolet is the best sick Cylinder car in the low-crash field. Oh, thanks, Cylinder. Here's your dollar. Hey, if you need me next week, I can do wirelessly. Beat it, whatever it is. Cylinder, Cylinder, Cylinder. I wonder what's keeping that guy coming. What's going to be? I'm coming. I'm coming. My head am bended low. Come in. Wait till I knock on the door. Oh. Come in. Hello, dark and handsome. Hello, sweet and careless. Sit down, big boy. I was afraid you weren't coming up. How'd you get away from the mission? I was missioning you, Lou. I tried to stay away, but I couldn't. Oh, yes? It's the truth, Lou. I can't sleep. I don't eat. I can't think. I keep trying to forget you, Lou, but I can't. Oh, yes? Yeah, you're beautiful, Lou. Your hair is like the golden sunshine. Your eyes shine like the diamonds on your wrist. And your teeth are like pearls. For pearl teeth are no bargain either, you know what I mean? Ah, kiss me, Lou. Kiss me. Take an easy flat foot. Now, guess this and guess this straight. You ain't putting nothing over on me. You ain't bringing me bracelet. You're bringing me handcuffs. And they ain't no good to me because I sing with gestures. Well, I'm gesture gigolo. Me singing, folks. I'm wife. You big boy. You're the hawk. Yes, I'm the hawk. Well, then hawk these diamonds. I gotta get out of town before six gets here. Who is that? Lou, Lou, Lou. Kick it down this way up here. And he's coating the gun. You better feed it. You better get out of here, come on. Because six hates you, too. He'll kill both of us. Yeah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. No, Lou. No, I can't leave you, Lou. I'm gonna stay here and protect you. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Lou, Lou. Jimmy Meltz, what are you doing here? I'm Lou's singing teacher, and Dick hates me too! My goodness, Dick hates all of us! But he can't hate the Chevrolet Six, the most dependable car in the road! How it plays me! Hooray! Hooray! A play of the sound. For the benefit of those who've tuned in late, let me repeat, starting tomorrow and continuing throughout the months of April as a feature of National Driver's Chevrolet Month, a brand new Chevrolet Six, America's largest selling motor car will be given away every day, absolutely free. 30 days, 30 cars. One car every day. So if you would like to win a new Chevrolet, visit any Chevrolet dealer. Take a trial drive in a new Chevrolet Six. Find out what it means to ride in a big, comfortable, Fisher body car. A smooth, speedy, responsive fix. Get acquainted with Fisher No-Draft Ventilation, the Starterator, another new Chevrolet invention. Then after your ride is over, write down on an official entry blank which you must get from the Chevrolet dealer your reason for liking the new Chevrolet Six. And if you're thinking of buying a new Chevrolet right away, you have all the more reasons for doing so at once. But if you do buy a Chevrolet between now and the end of the contest, and then win a free car, you have the option of accepting either a free car or cash equivalent to the free car's retail delivered price. So be sure to see your Chevrolet dealer right away and find out how easy it is to win a new Chevrolet Six. Absolutely free. Good night, folks. Good night. Listen.