 Before we start, I just wanted to read out just a few instructions which the Lord gives people of Israel. It's interesting because it's actually typically for parents. It's more of an instruction for parenting, I guess. But anyway, let's look at that. Deuteronomy 6 and verses 4 to 9. Deuteronomy 6 and verse 4 onwards says, Here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words, which I command you today, shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Okay, so here we see some very important pertinent instructions from the Lord to the people of Israel. And it actually, it's for the family, right? So it starts with the Lord saying, you know, who he is, and the Lord, our God, the Lord is one. You know, that's what it starts with. And the second one is to love the Lord with all our hearts, with all our soul, and with all our strength. Okay, so how do I identify with this God who is one, the Lord, my God? How do I interact with him, or how do I relate to him? It's a relationship of love, right? It's a close, intimate relationship of love, of wholehearted love, right? So you should love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, everything within you, you love. And it says, from there, it goes on to say, okay, these words, which I command you today, shall be in your heart, you know, in a most being, in your heart. It's not just intellectual understanding of it or acknowledgement of it, or even, you know, admiration of instruction. You know, sometimes we can do that. You can say, wow, that's beautiful. I think every ideal home should be like this. We can intellectually acknowledge the thing, but it need not be in our heart. We need not really hold it as treasures in our heart. Like Prabhupada says, you know, treasure these commandments in your heart. So these words, these commandments shall be in your heart. And then it goes on to say, you shall teach them, okay? You shall teach them diligently to your children. So it's from that place of relationship. It's that place of, you know, us treasuring God's commandments, God's word, and us keeping God's word in our heart. From that place, the overflow is this, that we teach our children diligently. So teaching would mean maybe a formal setting. You know, you're sitting and you're talking, you're teaching the children. I said, you should teach them diligently these commands, these words, right? And you shall talk of them, okay? So it talks about conversation. It talks about informal settings. And if you read that verse, verse 7, it says, you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up, okay? So you see the different settings. It's like an informal thing. First of all, it's like, okay, teaching could be a formal setting, you're sitting and, you know, like you're teaching something, why don't you turn to this page? Why don't you look at this verse, et cetera? But talking is very informal and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up. So in all the mundane routine things that you do, it could be, you know, cooking, it could be cleaning, it could be washing stuff, it could be, maybe at leisure, you're just, you know, sitting around and chatting around, you know, about, around the dinner table or whatever, you know, I said, you shall talk of them. So make this conversation about God's word, about who He is, make it a normal thing. You know, it doesn't have to be super spiritual, right? It doesn't have to be something that is relegated to one particular day, you know, or one particular, you know, only in this place we talk about it. We talk about, you know, God and His word, but may that be part of your everyday conversation. And then it talks about every external thing, that you shall bind them, you shall, you know, put them as display and write them on the dopo's and all that. So this is a very important instruction and the thing is if this is established in our homes, right? If we establish this in our homes, our homes can be a thriving place spiritually, you know. It need not be, you know, something ritualistic and parents and the children need not, you know, be in a place where they find everything about God or they find everything about the word, something boring, something, you know, uninteresting. It's part of their lives and as parents, we can actually do this, right? And the home would be a place where the children learn. The home would be a place where faith and faith in God and encounter and the supernatural becomes so normal, right? And so their responsibility is on parents. And I just thought we should look at that even as we look at marriage, right? And later, when we look at parenting, you know, we see that this is one of our responsibilities. So, well, as married people also, you know, as husband and wife, so let this be so, let this be normal. And I'm actually because in our home, when we, when I grew up, it was never like this, like, you know, when we went to church, we, on Sundays, we came back, but we never, now we did have times of Bible reading and prayer, et cetera. But never discussed, never spoke, never had questions answered, right? And that's a very important part, so which I missed out, which we missed out when we were growing up. So it need not be so in our homes. OK, so let's pray. Let's, let's ask the Lord to make this a reality, like in the homes that we established and homes that we are in right now, right? OK, let's pray. Father, we thank you, Lord, for this day. We, even as we looked at your word, God, we thank you for these instructions. Lord, we know that you are the builder of our lives. You are the one who builds our homes, who builds families. We are the designer of marriage and family. And so, God, we take every word that proceeds from your mouth, Lord, seriously. And we treasure, Lord, these instructions and commands in our hearts, God, not just to hear, but also to do, Father, God, we thank you, Lord, that you instructed us to teach you and so that you instructed us to, Lord, have casual conversations, Father, God, in every aspect of practical aspects of our lives, God, and so that, Lord, your ways, O God, and who you are and encounters with you, Lord, and the power encounters, God, and Lord, supernatural, Lord, it becomes a part of our everyday lives, Father, God, even as we proclaim truth, even as we discuss the truth and even as Lord, lies are replaced and as your truth, the truth of your word becomes rooted and embedded in our hearts. Master, we thank you. We pray that this will be a reality, Lord, in our lives, in the homes that we establish and just pray for those of us who are already married and have children and just pray, God, that this will be a reality, Father, God. And yes, Master, may this be the model for those of us who are looking forward to getting married and establishing homes. May this be the model, the example of our homes, God. We thank you. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. Okay. So last class, we started with communication, communication and how important communication is. I remember watching a tennis match and those days between it was a doubles match. I forget who, I think it was a Davis Cup match. Leander Pays and Mahesh Bhupati, Indian tennis players. And, you know, they had a fallout, but those days when they were really doing well, I think they even won the Wimbledon doubles at some point, I'm not very sure, but they won one of the grand slams. So anyway, so the communication between them, even during the games, even between points was amazing. Like they will always be communicating with each other, always high-flying each other, always, you know, there'll be some kind of communication happening between each other. And that's something that you'll notice immediately, you know, when you watch the game and they were highly successful in and what happened was something happened, some miscommunication, some misunderstanding, some kind of an ego thing happened. And then there was a breakdown of communication, breakdown of relationship. And, and, you know, they stopped playing as a team, which was quite unfortunate because they would have really done well. They would have gone on to win many tournaments. Actually, they're highly skilled players, both of them experience everything, but because of the breakdown of the relationship, they didn't actually continue to play further. So similarly, in marriage, which is a relationship between two people, covenant relationship, it could be sometimes two very unlikely people, two very different people, communication is very, very important. Just to review a few things that we looked at last class, let me just share that PowerPoint with you. Okay, so, you know, so communication skills are required for marriage. And this is very different from general social communication or business professional communication, communication with acquaintances, you know, where you there, where is there is just exchange of facts exchange of information. So we see different levels. It could be casual, professional, like we friendship and internet, you know, as you go further down the list, you see that there is a sharing, not only of information, but also of expressing feelings, expressing fears, expressing likes and dislikes and so on. Right. So we are being more and more transparent. We are becoming less and less informal, or less and less formal, sorry, more and more transparent with each other. Right. So making ourselves more and more vulnerable also in the process. Right. So, the piece of meaningful or established strong communication needs time because we need to invest time. It cannot happen in an instant. We need to be able to set aside time. Okay. So always remember that. And that time should be a meaningful time in times. It's not just time, you know, it's just not just saying, okay, you know, we spent half an hour and now, you know, we are communicating well, you know, it's not just that it is intentional being intentional during that time. And also we saw that it needs to be at a time when we are energetic, you know, our energy level is high. Okay. So, well, there could be certain things that we are discussing about, okay, how to do things. What are those things to be bought? What are those things to be done? You know, typical, you know, maybe shop talk, if you want to call it that, you know, to-do list and things to be done in the home and all that. But from that place, we need to move on to talk about what's happening with oneself, our challenges, our joy and our struggles, maybe, you know, expressing feelings emotions, what is happening in our lives, you know. So that needs to take place. And so we need to make this happen, okay. It cannot happen automatically. So we need to make these things happen, be intentional about set-aside time to do this and also plan for, you know, extended times even, like maybe a vacation, maybe weekends, where you can set aside time, you know. People live very busy lives, especially in the city and even otherwise, you know, very busy lives. And like I know of a couple that at a certain at a point in their lives, like they were working in two different shifts, both were working in BPO's. So, so the husband would work probably like six in the morning till, you know, some some time in the evening, the wife will work, you know, that kind of a day shift, the husband was working, you know, evening, he starts in the evening and then so there was very little common time, you know, one was leaving the house, the other one was coming in and it was like that. So it was for a season. So, so I remember that they would be intentional, you know, they realize the challenge of, you know, if they let things slip, they could just go on, you know, for months without even sometimes seeing each other, right, in an alert state. So they had to make time to be with each other, make time to for, you know, meaningful conversation and so on. So it's very important. The second one we see is trust, where one grows in trust. Now, I'm sure that when we get married or prepare ourselves for getting married, we grow in trust. We learn to have confidence in the other person and grow in trust. And sometimes when trust is broken, it takes a lot of effort and it takes a lot of time to rebuild that trust, where there is unfaithfulness or where there is commitment that is not kept for whatever reason and repeatedly, if it happens over a period of time, trust is broken. So trust is, it has to be earned. It has to be given. It has to be, you know, it has to be honest, right? And nothing fake about it. So if there is no trust, then it's going to be very, very difficult for the marriage to be strong. There is no trust, because if there is no trust, if I do not trust you and, you know, whatever things you say, I will always be second guessing, right? In the sense, I will always be thinking, you know, are you are you saying the right thing? Are you trying to manipulate, you know, what is your agenda? Really in saying these things into me, in, sorry, in communicating these things, you know, what is your agenda? So I'm going to be constantly thinking that way, right? So trust has to be built and certain mistakes that we can make when we are building trust is when something is shared in confidence. OK, let's say something's about our past, some mistakes we did. OK, so the husband shares with the wife or the wife shares with the husband. And in that moment, maybe it's, you know, vulnerable, quiet moment and we hear it, we know it's something difficult and all that, but then we receive it. What happens is in a moment of conflict, if there is a time of misunderstanding, if there is a conflict, maybe, you know, there's an argument and a heated argument, maybe, and the temptation is to bring out this, you know, you made this mistake in the past. You yourself told me, you know, this is what you did in the past and you are always like this, right? There is a tendency to bring that out and speak that out and hurt the other person, maybe to win an argument, maybe to win that, you know, that fight, that quarrel. So there is a tendency to bring that out and use it as a weapon. OK, so if that is done, then again, why should I trust you to share more about my life? When I know that you are going to use it as a bullet, you're going to use it as a weapon against me in future, right? So I will not be able to trust you. So whenever something is said in confidence and whenever someone shares some, you know, very vulnerable information, though there is a temptation to bring it out and, you know, put that out there, we need to be careful not to, you know, break down that element of trust. The third thing we saw was transparency, right? As we move down from casual to professional to friendship to intimate, there is always a greater level of transparency, right? You know, there's nothing hidden, right? And there is great joy and great freedom when you move to that place. And that also comes with time and trust, right? It comes with time and trust where you're able to where I open my heart and say, OK, you can look into my life. Now, this is who I am. Can look into my life. I'm not going to hide anything. Or if you ask me any questions, I'm not going to stone wall you and, you know, block things from from your from you. I'm going to be open and honest, right? Right. OK. So. I am trust transparency. OK. So this exercise, we're not going to go through, but you have it in your notes and, you know, it's a it's a good thing to go through if you're a married person. Maybe you can do it with your spouse and you can, you know, do those scores, you can put the scores there and and count them up and see where you actually stand regarding as a couple regarding communication, right? At a good time for meaningful conversations, you know, if you're going to say it's always true or if it's the other end of the spectrum is OK, never, never, we don't never we do. We have meaningful conversations during the week. You know, that's now that's not a good thing. And so that needs to change, obviously, you know, well, the challenge would be one person feels that, oh, yeah, we have been having great meaningful conversation and the other person feels no, you have it, right? And which means that person's need for meaningful conversations has not been met. So, you know, it's time to take stock time to change. So over the week, over the weekend, I feel free to express feel my spouse pays attention when I'm speaking. I feel I'm being understood. I'm not afraid that my speaking will lead into an argument. We understand each other's perspectives and frames of reference. I can talk at the level of friendship and intimacy. I feel safe and secure in sharing secrets, weaknesses and challenges feel my spouse trust what I say and so on. So it's a good exercise to do as a couple. Is the good exercise to do as, you know, maybe even as during the courtship days. OK, now courtship days, it may not really fully apply. You know, you're not really spending as much time, you know, together, you have your own lives. And so, so this would apply to people who are married. OK, but just to let us know that, you know, that these are factors that these are elements there in communication. And when you break it down and you ask these questions or address this, this will really help in communication or building communication. OK, let's look at why communication is important or why would communication be an important building block for a strong marriage? OK, so we see that with communication, you know when you have good communication, you know and understand each other, OK, because you're scared. I mean, you're sharing your heart and the other person is also free to share his or her heart, right? They are also coming forward to share. And because of which, you're getting to know the person. If there's stuff that is shared more about you, then you get to know and understand, OK, this is what my spouse is like. This is what my spouse understands. Oh, this is what my spouse likes. This is what my spouse dislikes. So communication is very important and it helps to know and understand. So in a marriage, you know, we are growing in knowing each other. We are growing in understanding one another. Right. So maybe we start at a place, you know, early days of marriage where we do not understand each other as much. But then we need to continue to grow in knowing one another and understanding one another, because it helps build a healthy and strong marriage. Right. The second thing is to work as a team. Right. You know, if you I'm sure when we looked at leadership, you know, we we would learn that they need to be communication in a team. You know, what happens if in a team that one does not talk to the other? Do you have a team of, let's say, five people, ten people? And they're not talking to one another. They're not communicating to one another. You know, if you look at a game also, you know, like football or cricket, if they're not communicating strategies, if they're not communicating, you know, how what our plan is going to be, how we're going to play. If they're not communicating to one another, then we see that there's it's not a healthy team. Right. If they're going to think within themselves and think that, OK, the other person will understand or, you know, there's going to be it will not happen. Right. So to work together, to function together as a team, as husband and wife, there needs to be communication. Right. And healthy communication. OK. Third one is to support each other. Right. To communicate and say, I need help. I need help in this area. Or can you help me in this or to encourage one another? There needs to be, you know, you need to be able to express and you need to be able to say, OK, I need help or or or speak encouraging words and to think you're doing a good job. You're doing a great job, you know. And so to nurture one another, you know, we saw that in Efficiency Five that husbands, you know, nourish, cherish all those words. So to nurture one another, we need to be able to use nurturing words and words of life, speaking words of life. Maybe the one of the one of the spous is going through a very, very difficult time. Maybe they lost their, you know, loved one could be a parent relative grandparent or whatever. So to be able to encourage or maybe they're having a tough time at work, tough challenges with, you know, even with in-laws and so on. To be able to ask questions, to be able to encourage and share. It's it's very important to support one another. To resolve issues, you know, we're going to look at resolving conflicts. But, you know, to resolve things, meaning to solve the problem, we need to be able to communicate. OK, just imagine, like many times we think, OK, you need to understand, you need to know, you know, just because two people are married, we cannot take into, you know, we cannot assume that they will understand each other perfectly, right? To be able to resolve conflicts, we need to be able to share and communicate. You know, the thing is this, you know, one very common, common example, I think, I mean, this really happens a lot of times for us as a family. You know, we're just driving back from after finishing church service. We're going back home and and three of us, me, my wife and daughter, and it happened a couple of times. So, you know, just stays fresh in our minds. So it's coming back home. And I'm thinking, you know, maybe, you know, it's because we haven't cooked any food and it's too late to go back and cook and, you know, all that. And it's already like we're all all hungry. And I'm thinking maybe I should, you know, we should stop by a nice Chinese place and sit and have Chinese food. And my wife is thinking, you know, I really like some russum and rice and, you know, nice South Indian food and and my daughter's thinking maybe, you know, you know, it'll be great to have a pizza. All three of us are thinking different things and we haven't shared that. And suddenly I just, you know, blurt out, OK, OK, let's let's stop at, you know, this place Chinese restaurant. Let's stop by here and let's have and suddenly everybody's like, oh, I thought we were going here. I thought we were stopping by here. I don't really feel like eating this, you know, I think we should. So everybody's like, you know, disappointed. I thought you I told you, you know, you didn't. And we're hungry, you know, hungry, irritable, disappointed. They don't we're not that somehow we know not all of us are going to be eating our favorite food and it's results in a lot of, you know, tension there. So communication is important to share your needs and also to resolve conflicts. You know, at that point to be able to share and say, OK, fine. So then we came upon, you know, tactic. We said, OK, you know, one Sunday, one person will have their way. OK, so this Sunday, this person's desire, OK, they decide. And maybe certain Sundays we have food at home. So no stopping anywhere. We are going straight home and we're going to, you know, have food at home. No stopping in any. So to be able to resolve, to be able to come to a consensus, you know, it's just common understanding that one needs to be able to talk and communicate, OK, grow together spiritually. Now, you know, we just saw the passage that we read this morning. Deuteronomy 6 talks about how we need to teach, how we need to talk, right? We're talking about spiritual matters. We're talking about the Word of God. We're talking about, you know, we're sharing testimonies. So to grow spiritually together, we need to. Share, speak into each other's lives, ask questions, give space and permission for people to ask questions and not really have an unhealthy communication of, oh, you didn't know this or how can you ask questions about this? Well, the person might have some very strong reasons, you know, and and all that. So growing spiritually together, we also need to guard our marriages. OK, the marriage relationship needs to be guarded. Why? Because there's a real enemy. A defeated enemy, a defeated foe who walks about, goes about like a rowing lion seeking to devour, right, trying to steal, kill and destroy and whatever God has put together, right? And many times we open the doors for the enemy to step in, right? And one of the one of the. Doors that we open is the door of a marriage relationship, the door. We open the door for the enemy to step in. So we need to guard our marriage. OK, so when it comes to guard, guarding our marriage to have a healthy and close relationship with their spouse is, is something that helps guard. Marriage helps guard that intimacy in marriage. OK, when I say intimacy, it's not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy. And what would happen if the spouse feels that way? I can't share these things. My, my, you know, my spouse will never understand. So these deep things, these deep maybe hurts and fears and all these emotional things, the spouse begins to share with someone else. OK, of maybe some other of an opposite gender. Then it becomes an emotional tie. It becomes an emotional attachment, becomes an emotional affair. Right. And leads to all other unwanted, unnecessary things. And the reason is this. We've not guarded the relationship at the intimacy, the emotional intimacy. It's very, very important because we can live under the same roof and be thousands and thousands of miles away from each other emotionally. And we don't want that to happen. So how do we bridge that distance? It's only through healthy communication because it's a bridge. We speak words. It's a bridge. We resolve things. It's a bridge, bringing people closer together. When we, when we encourage one another, that's a bridge, right? So guarding our marriage, very important, nurturing children. Like we saw in nurture, we encourage with good communication, healthy communication. And we learn more about that in parenting, cherishing memories and talking about the good times and everything. We see that it involves a communication. So communication does not mean that you just keep talking, talking, talking, talking. You know, sometimes you might have a wrong idea of that. Just come on, one person is just going on and on and on. That's not communication. Communication is being able to convey, express and it's a two-way street where you're receiving, right? You're receiving, understanding what the other person is saying as well. OK, which brings us to the next one, which is meaningful. It involves a genuine expression or expressing our heart, but it also involves listening attentively. OK, listening attentively. So the thing is this many times people do not think about listening as an important aspect of communication. And we just focused on sharing, speaking, where we are not really thinking about understanding the person through attentive listening, listening to them attentively. This is really an important part of it. Let's look at these two scriptures, James chapter one verse 19. Remember this, my dear friends, everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, right? Quick to listen, quick to receive, quick to hear and understand, slow to speak, slow to become angry, slow to anger. Probs 18, 13, listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting, right? So when it comes to attentive listening, it's different from just hearing. Because physically, I mean, of course, if our hearing is OK, we can hear, we can hear a lot of things. We can hear words, we can hear songs, we can hear the other person, right? Say, what did the other person say? This person said this, this, this, this, but when we are listening, that means we are trying to understand the person. OK, first of all, understand what they are saying. We're trying to understand what they are feeling, right? OK, sometimes people use that word, I hear what they're saying. OK, meaning, OK, I'm hearing that, but are you really understanding what I'm feeling, all the emotions that they're going through? Maybe it's anger, maybe it's irritation, maybe it's fear, you know, maybe it's sorrow. Are you understanding it? Because when you're listening, we are also trying to understand what they are feeling, OK, and what they are expressing. Even without words, right? Because we express a lot of things, we might say a lot of things, but when you look at the words and we look at our expression, when you look at our body language, right? It could be two different things, right? Suppose you ask somebody, how are you doing? And I'm OK, right? If you take the words, what did they say? They said, I'm OK, right? But if you if you consider the tone of their voice and the expression of their face, when you consider that, that's attentive listening, right? And the person says, I'm OK. And you say, go great, fantastic. That's good, you know, let's get going. We're actually missed out. We missed out. We just heard the words, but we didn't really hear the emotions behind the words, right? We didn't really attentively perceive the emotion or we heard the words, but we didn't see the body language where they looked down and they were, you know, they were weary when they said, I'm OK. They said, I'm OK, but actually they were not, right? So things like that, the body language. So when we say listening, we are listening to understand the person, OK? Not just to understand the information that they are that they are conveying, OK? We are listening to understand the person and more so and typically in marriage, OK? OK, we're going to look at, OK, how to be, you know, good listeners and some keys to good listening. And and so before that, I just wanted to ask any any questions here so far on communication on. On whatever we have shared so far, anything at all? Anybody, any questions? OK, so. So the question is, you know, is everybody great at expressing themselves? OK, that's a question that we need to ask ourselves, you know, am I good? Or, you know. Or maybe we can ask ourselves, you know, what is it that? You know, what is it that prevents me from communicating or expressing myself? Sometimes we, you know, you want to say hold back, right? So or you don't feel like saying you don't feel like talking, right? So it's good to think about those moments and say, OK, is it just tiredness, plain weary, you know, or is there something that is holding me back from from really, you know, talking, sharing? Or maybe as a as a person, you know, we're not used to those things, right? We are very private, right? Yeah, OK, I think success has a question. Oh, also, yeah, yeah, success, go ahead, please. Yeah, I want to ask a question. If you look at the rate of divorce today in the world, can we say that it's actually a lack of communication across this divorce? Or something? Yeah, I think it's a mix of expectation. It could also be, I mean, many factors, like I'm just guessing here. It could also be expectation, wrong expectation coming from a wrong understanding of what marriage is. You know, that's that's a big one because many times we see that people have wrong understanding of marriage itself. So. So which means that expectations are different. You know, you ask that question, why are you getting married? Oh, you know, I just felt that that I need, you know, I need to come home to a good home cooked meal, you know, you get those responses. That's why I got married. Why are you getting married? Oh, you know, I just feel my that my sex drive is overboard. And, you know, I know you hear all these kinds of things. So the expectation is different and and and also, you know, we human beings at the core, you know, our self-centered looking for how I can please myself. What other person can do to help, you know, please me. And so it's a it could be a wrong understanding. Also, you know, lack of commitment, right? It could be lack of commitment, faith, being unfaithful because of that lack of commitment, not really guarding or not really knowing that, you know, being emotionally close to a person who's not your spouse can actually lead to a lot of other things. Right. So not having our guards up, you know, just saying, oh, that's the best friend. This is the best friend. That's the best friend. And how's your order? What about your spouse? Oh, I don't know. We just married, you know, you crack all those jokes about, you know, you know, what my husband is like, you know, and then you have someone else who is your best confidant, you know, you're just sharing everything that results in emotional listening. So so it's a combination of all this, I would say a success and definitely communication also, you know, because of all this communication breaks down, right? You're just information. You're just good morning, good evening, or even that is not there. There's silence, you know, if, if not for children, they won't be the house will be very silent in some homes, right? And some people say, OK, you go tell your father that this thing is ready. You go tell your mother to do this. You know, what's happening there? You know, it's like somebody's a mediator, right? So big communication breaks down. Yeah. OK, I hope that helps success. We have one more question from John. OK, any practical tips to reduce church matter discussions at home and to improve personal communication? Yeah, I mean, this happens to, you know, ministering couples, right? In fact, this coming Saturday, we have a management workshop here in Bangalore and so those of you who are probably in and around Bangalore, you're most welcome to register, be part of it. So it's called nurturing missional families, right? Where both husband and wife are in ministry. Maybe you're working in the same ministry. Maybe you were two different ministries, you know, you and especially I think I can understand John Paul's question because, you know, that's the same case here for my wife and I work for the church. So a lot of conversation happens about church, about the service, about church, about getting ready for the service. You know, a lot of things happen that way. So so any practical tips to reduce, I think it's just you decide when you're going to talk about this and when not to talk about it. And it's a and it'll come with with practice. So where you say, OK, at home, let's not, you know, let's not certain things are very, very, very crucial, right? There could be an emergency and you can't not talk about it, but generally, you know, you just say, OK, we won't discuss solving these things. Let's let's set aside some time, you know, maybe in the morning, maybe in the evening, whatever, we'll discuss those things where you know, formally, we're talking about church things. Church things. I think that will help, John. Yes, thank you. Right. OK. So. So see, one thing I realized was early days of getting married. So like, I don't consider myself to be an introvert. For me, it's like normally I'm OK, talking to strangers, talking to the thing. I'm fine. But there are times when I'd like to be quiet. You know, whereas sometimes when I don't want to be with people, I just want to recharge my batteries, you know, socially. I just want to, you know, it's like that. And also when I was working for these organizations, different sales organizations, where the most of the day was meeting people, talking to people, meeting people and whatever words I had. Actually, I've used up. So when I came back home and to my wife, like talking was the last thing that I had in mind. I don't want to talk. I just want to sit quietly. And so the early days of marriage, it it was difficult, where I didn't want to talk. Whereas my wife was just waiting to talk, because she was not working at the time. She was at home alone the whole day, and she was just waiting for me to come back home so she could just talk to me, find out what's happening and share about what was happening in her life. So so it was a little bit of a struggle. So then I realized that, hey, I can't just go with the flow like that. So so I would just I was OK, asking questions, waiting, you know, just listening to her talk and I just maybe over a cup of tea, you know, just listen and just recharge. And after a while, I'll be fine to talk about my day and talk about what happened, et cetera, but not immediately. So so that was something which didn't come naturally to me. And definitely not communicating, you know, at that point. So so you just understand, you know, you just come to that. OK, at this point, at this time of the day, I'm not a great communicator at the same of day. You know, sometimes you're a morning person, your spouse is not. The spouse can just barely manage monosyllables at that time of the day. You're just raring to talk and discussing different concepts and sunrise and all that. Whereas your spouse has one word, two words, you know, they just not started yet. The day. So to understand that and say, OK, this is not the best time of the day to have a discussion on spiritual matters. I had to talk about it in times and all this is not the best time. So, you know, you figure out as you go along. OK, so we'll stop here, take a break and we'll come back at 10. OK.