 out to talk to her if you're nervous. So you're walking down the street, maybe you're on a date, maybe you're at a party and you see an attractive woman or you're talking to an attractive woman that you want to make a good impression on, but you are very, very nervous. I've been in this position tons of times, I've been in a lot of dates, I've coached a lot of guys on this and the one thing that I see is that when someone's nervous, they can't be their best self and that's a problem because she wants to see your best self. That's why confident guys tend to do so well. So is there a solution if you're a guy who is talking to someone and you're very nervous, is it possible to show your best self? Well, in this video, I'm going to give you some strategies that will tell you exactly how to be someone who can at least look confident when you're talking to someone, even if you're nervous. So I'm going to give you a few tips and describe why being nervous is such a challenge and how to get over it. Let's talk about being nervous when you're talking to somebody. If you're talking to somebody and you're nervous and you're scared, what's happening is that your body is filling up with cortisol. When cortisol is running through your body, it's in fight or flight mode. So what's happening is that your body is either figuring out, should I run? It's in survival mode. It's not in a mode where, hey, I can make this cool joke or I can say this cute line or I can listen to or establish a connection, not doing any of those things. What it is doing is it's trying to keep you alive. So what I do when I'm in this position is I just go to a few questions that I can turn to to get the conversation to a level where I start feeling comfortable, reduce that amount of cortisol that's going through my body. Typically this might be when you first meet someone, if it's at a party or something, you ask them where they're from. Super easy small talk question. You brought it right back to where it was before. You know it's a question they have an answer for. You know it's a question that you can follow up with, oh cool, how did you end up here? Or how was it there? Or whatever. So you can have some ways of calming the cortisol down so then you can start being yourself. So you can ask where are you from? What kinds of things do you do for fun? What do you do? Who are you here with? All of those things that I will ask a person normally just to get a little information about them. I start turning to those questions and I answer them myself too. Calms me a little bit down so I'm able to get into a mode where I can start being funny and relax with this person because ultimately that's what you want. You want a relaxed, confident feel where you can lead the conversation that's going to make you the most desirable kind of guy to talk to. So start with some questions that you can use. The other thing too is to change your mindset surrounding the conversation. Typically when guys go in what makes them really nervous is they start thinking I got to get this person to like me. Okay, that's not the right mindset you want to have. You want to already assume that she likes you and you're just showing yourself. Right? If you have to prove that you like her you're going to start saying dumb things about how you own a yacht that you don't own. You're going to start stammering over your words and it's not going to make you look good. What you do want to do is you want to be your best, most confident self and assuming the attraction is going to help out and you can assume the attraction by assuming that you're going to be able to come away making that person feel just a little bit better. Don't think, oh I got to get this girl's phone number. I got to get this girl to like me or I got to sleep with this girl. You know, if you put that kind of pressure on yourself I can guarantee you're going to get nervous. Cool, something else that you can start doing is be curious, not judgmental. What I do when I'm talking to somebody is I'm curious about what they're doing. I don't judge them because if I start judging them I'm going to start judging myself and then that's bad. You don't want to start judging yourself while you're talking to somebody. You want to be just in the conversation expressing yourself. So be curious about whatever it is. It doesn't matter if they disagree with you. It doesn't matter if they're doing something you don't really find terribly interesting. This is a chance for you to be curious about them. Cool, and the next thing is get comfortable talking about stuff that you're doing. Whenever I introduce myself to a group of people basically I walk in, you know, comfortable talking about what it is I'm doing at the party or what I'm doing that day or if I'm on a date, you know, I talk about what I did that day as well too. You know, I get comfortable talking about myself and that will kind of relax yourself a little bit. Now once you do this you have to make sure that you also ask the person questions so you can listen to what they're saying too because listening is one of the most important skills in conversation. Maybe the most important skill in conversation. And the last thing that I would recommend that you guys do to reduce nervousness is just embrace awkwardness. Awkwardness happens between even the coolest of people. I've been at parties with celebrities, models, you name it and these are some of the most awkward people on the planet. You know, it doesn't matter how successful somebody is, they're always going to encounter awkward situations and that's okay. It's being cool with them and not letting it throw you off or not going out or not taking action because you're worried about a little bit of an awkward situation. I mean some of the best friends I've had, some of the coolest people I've ever met. When we first met it was awkward as hell. Dude, I could not wait to get out of that conversation but you know what I did? I stuck in there for just a little bit longer to make it better and honestly some of the best women that I've dated. It was awkward at first but I stuck with it. You know, if you're comfortable in the awkward situation, she's going to be more comfortable too but if you let it throw you off, guess what? She's going to feel awkward, she's going to want to leave and you probably won't be able to talk to that person again. Okay, so embrace awkwardness happens to everybody. Cool, well those are the tips that I have for being able to talk to people or an attractive woman if you're nervous, you can use this on a date, you can use this at a party, you can use this, you know, in your everyday life. If you're talking to people normally. So yeah, this is something that I train guys on all the time so if you want to get access to my free trainings, there is a link down below. I click on that and my name is Lloyd Dixon. Thanks for watching you guys. Good luck out there.