 Good afternoon foundation staff. This is level 4 researcher Theron Sherman and today's briefing is well Interesting first of all this document contains adult themes So those of you in the foundation junior academy should turn this briefing off unless you have a superior officer's permission Second by order of the overseer council the following file has been locked due to repeated malicious External and internal attempts to make edits to the documentation the purpose of these attacks are not currently known proceed with caution third I Swear to our long and merciful lord the longest boy scp 5320 that if I hear even one of you utter the word Nice, I will personally email you a jpeg of scp 096 his face Okay Let's proceed Item number scp 6969 Object class Ketter Risk and disruption classes are pending and the document is level 5 classified special containment procedures Due to the inherent nature of the anomalies activation conditions within human biology scp 6969 cannot be contained at this time Efforts are directed towards nullifying the thaumaturgical activation of scp 6969 on a global scale via application of the thaumaturgical intercalator termination string Regardless as scp 6969 effects are self-censoring and global neutralation would be immensely costly This is considered a low priority Access to this file is restricted to individuals with level 5 6969 clearance to prevent panic amongst wider foundation personnel Due to the large amount of individuals attempting to access this file for unknown reasons Editing the file has been locked and requires o5 or research lead credentials description scp 6969 is the designation for a thaumaturgical Biological process which occurs during ejaculation When a human being attempts to discharge whether during the process of intercourse or more commonly not a series of internal thaumaturgical processes occur within the individuals genitalia affecting the entire body Over the duration of approximately two seconds the affected subject will enter and experience a causal time loop Repeatedly beginning at the moment of ejaculation and lasting a short period of time No changes to the subject's physiology are preserved between time loops safe for two factors One the activity of the nervous system and two the sperm's genetic composition were applicable Footnote of note the genetic composition of the sperm ejaculated changes state before and after scp 6969 suggesting the anomaly modifies it Upon conclusion of an unknown number of repetitions the causal time loop ceases and a secondary thaumaturgic effect activates The secondary effect resets the nervous system to the state It was when the time loop began allowing for the seamless transition between pre and post-orealism states by resetting memory following this anomalous activity relating to scp 6969 ceases Research suggests that affected subjects may experience a subjective time of anywhere from 16 days to roughly 73 quintillion years every ejaculation Addendum 1 testing log subject designation D652589 Subject sex male testing location specialized testing chamber zeta 2841 procedure a counter spell on the secondary thaumaturgic process was activated on D652589 The subject was instructed to masturbate which was performed without complication result Immediate liquefaction of the subject's nervous system analysis of subjects adaculate confirm changes to genetic material subject designation D8007135 Subject sex female testing location specialized testing chamber zeta 2841 procedure a specialized thaumaturgic spell is placed upon D8007135 Which modifies the scp 6969 process allowing for the entire body to be preserved between time loops Subject was informed and consented to the experiment prior and was instructed to masturbate result subject immediately disintegrates subject designation D05370 and D908707 Subject sex male and female testing location specialized testing chamber zeta 2841 procedure Subjects were previously married and were reported to possess quote unresolved sexual tension in D class-holding areas Both were informed of the nature of the experiment and begrudgingly agreed D05370 was thaumaturgically modified to retain memories of their experience during scp 6969 D908707 was not modified both were non-invasively recorded during the process result D05370 became comatose and D908707 became immensely distressed and uncooperative latter amnesicized Formers in medical wing pending termination order At this point all testing was halted by order of the ethics committee Addendum 2 note from the head researcher When I began working on scp 6969 I initially tackled it with the idea that it was a malicious force I was working against I think in one way or another We all believe that this anomaly was evil or created by something evil to do evil upon us How many anomalies were the result of eldritch horrors? Surely this must be one of them, but as I stand here before my research and the evidence piles on my desk I have to conclude that the theme we're seeing isn't a malicious force It's a natural one The process of evolution is one which is cobbled together from random happenstance Jeans change at complete random and anything which is potentially beneficial or at least not harmful gets passed down While those which are harmful get killed off. It's brutal and messy, but it works just barely and The theory goes scp 6969 is the result of just one of those many many evolutionary Happy little accidents, which may help pass on some jeans scp 6969 as we know changes the genetic material of the sperm released during ejaculation From what we can tell it also prunes a significant amount of unhealthy specimens and increases sperm count in general All signs point to it having simply evolved over the course of our species lifespans Creating vastly improved genetic material in a tiny time span When scp 6969 first came into existence There may have been a significant amount of casualties by people who experienced it without the secondary effects Until one person evolved the ability to reset the nervous system in scp 6969 Simultaneously any descendants of theirs not up to par were killed off in the process of natural selection This is perhaps one hypothesis of a colleague of mine, which I'm too afraid to admit may be true From the complexity of scp 6969 We can place the approximate period from where it evolved and it appears as though the time corresponds directly with the development of higher Intelligence and human species as if to make matters worse the hypothesis goes on to state that without scp 6969 The genetic makeup of humans may become significantly more unstable resulting in very high birth defect rates and fatal mutations I cannot fathom a world of such suffering where we conceived Where we were conceived in such brutal conditions made to endure such horrors and die an eventual meaningless death sex is a joke and We're the punchline Following this head researcher Nathan Brown was disciplined for adding unprofessional personal anecdotes to official scp files All right staff that ends today's broadcast use your foundation encrypted YouTube account to like comment and subscribe Hit the bell and support our broadcast at patreon.com site 42 and All right, we all get one nice