 It is a tricky situation when you have left a cult. The reason for it, and I'm talking from my personal experience, is because, first of all, the cult will do everything it's in its capability, if they'll have access to you, to try to make you feel that you didn't get the picture, you know, that it's your fault, that you're wrong in leaving it, that you're wrong in thinking that it's a cult. And that kind of starts to distort your reality, that's pretty much an attempt to distort your reality, to distort your perception of reality, trying to confuse you and doubt the conclusions that you came to, trying to put a picture that it's just your opinion. And that's why I personally feel it's, when you're in doubt, it's always best to go to the experts. And one of such experts that I was suggested to check out is, let me check the names, I would get it right, it's Steven Hassan. And he is the American Mental Health Counselor, but also famous for writing books and talking about the cult mentality, destructive cults, how they work and how to get out of them and how to overcome that feeling of doubt in yourself afterward. He also offers a tool called the bike model, which I really enjoy and I have to say thank you to one of my viewers. When I was talking about the cult mentality and my experience of leaving a cult and overcoming that mentality, overcoming that whole experience, and kind of trying to realize what really actually happened, one of my viewers suggested me to check out the bike model. And I'm putting it out here right now as I talk and if you look at it, when I looked at it, it was so evident, it so quickly became evident that I was indeed any cult. Because when I looked at that model, so many things were shifting to the right side in my experience. There are so many examples where it's like, okay, I can see there were a lot of tendencies to do the things which belong in that community, in that organization. There were so many things which are fitting the right side of the model. And to put some points onto it, at the second half of the video, I will go to that model and I will talk to you in more detail, kind of reflecting on how to identify a cult and how I look at that model personally. But on the first part of the video, I'd like to share briefly, I think, something that happened and something that kind of pushed me forward to make this video. And to be fair, I was planning to make this video already for some time because I really enjoyed the bike model, it really gave me a lot of clarity. But also something else happened this week that kind of pushed me to record this video. And the thing is, in the new channel, the journey, I started realizing that the experience that I had being a part of a certain community, a certain organization for years and years and eventually kind of being pushed out of it because of having a different mindset, a different challenging the belief structure of it. Then after leaving it, a couple years later, I would sometimes already start to use that the name of cult or the term of cult. Already at the first days, there's an original video where I recorded pretty soon after just leaving it and I used the term cult a few times, I guess, intuitively I felt that there's something cult-likeish about it. But the more I dug into what a cult is and the more I reflected back about my experiences with less of an involved and influenced mindset, nobody was telling me anymore from that organization what's right and wrong and trying to make me feel like I don't get it, having stepped away from that mentality, I had a chance to reflect back. And I realized, the more I looked at it, the more I realized, shoot, there's a lot of things which kind of put that organization into the realm of a cult. And one of those moments is I specifically looked up the definition of a cult and actually let me bring that up right now. So a cult, a system of religious veneration and devotion directed towards a particular figure or object. So in that, I will dig into the Byte model soon enough and I'll explore in more detail through my reflections of what made me realize that it was a cult and what can help each one of us dealing with that subject become more clear about making that definition. And the way that that definition that I read here was already a hint because it points out that there's a devotion. It points out that there's a devotion toward directed towards a particular figure object and in that organization, there was a lot of devotion towards the creator, the founder, the leader of the organization. And the tricky part, which I think I will keep bringing up in this reflection in this video is the tricky part is that that individual, the leader of that of that organization, what I consider to be a cult, was very subtle about all the things like officially, a lot of things were stated like there were a lot of layouts and setups which were claiming that this is not a cult, that this is different, that that it's all we're all equal. And you know, it's like it's all about freedom and being your own self and self expression and uniqueness, but so all of that was enforced theoretically, but and that that was the tricky part, but because when you would look, there's a bit of noise, but when you would look at the actual actions, and that's when I separated from or when I started separating from that, that organization, I what helped me is because I started to reflect about a lot of different cases, which just did not make sense. They were what was told, and some of the actual actions that were made, especially by the leader of that organization, they were two different things like there were a lot of dissonances, there were a lot of cases where what was told, and what was acted, and what happened in the organization, even in the inner structure, you could see that they're not the same thing. And but again, that made it very tricky because mentally, when you would reflect with them, but no, but it was said that this is, you know, this is all about equality. And then you would have to dig into your intellectual reflective self into your rational self and take out examples, raw examples and look at them and realize, well, this is clearly not an example of what was spoken about. And there's, you know, there's, and there's a lot of them. So I could go down that path even further. And I might bring up some examples doing the exploration of the bike model, but coming back to the reflection and what happened this week. So I, the point was that I in the new, in this, in the channel of the journey, I started reflecting more and exploring more also with the help of other people and professionals, experts, trying to understand. So what happened? And if it's true, whether it was a cult or not, and, and, or whether it's, you know, whether I'm just delusional, and that's the more I looked at it, the more I realized it makes sense to categorize it as a cult. And okay, look, I can be fair to some degree by saying, you know, Hassan, I think it's Stephen Hassan, right? He says that, yes, Stephen Hassan, he says that the cult can be extremely destructive, it can be somewhere in the middle, or it can be a cult, which is, you know, it's just like, like kind of almost okay. I was listening to a podcast of him talking to Joe Rogan and there's a podcast with him and Stephen said that's like even Mac, Mac users, you know, Apple users to a degree, they can be defined as a cult, but it's not necessarily like a destructive cult. It's destructive when it leaves a negative trace in your psyche. And now as when I, when I started to consider myself to be a former member of a cult, I, I do feel there was a lot of damage done in my, in a psychological state in my relationship. And part of that was because, again, of what Stephen brings up, because there was a, in, in, in destructive cults, as he describes it, there's a lot of guilting and making, there's a lot of guilting and fearing, or basically there's a lot of, a lot of methods that make you feel guilty as a member or afraid or ashamed. And so I'll dig into that just in a second. I'll just wait for the noise to pass. Right. So the noise moved and we can get back to the subject. So I kept referring and mentioning that something happened this week, which got, which happened probably because in this new channel, the journey, I started dissecting my experience and coming to conclusion that the organization that I was part of could be defined as a cult. And that's after the, one of the latest videos I released, that wasn't even a video about that, but I got a message from my old, from, from the leader of the organization that I was a part of. And it's been a few years since we even had even one bit of contact. The last conversation we had was over the phone when I left the organization and it was not pleasant. I was, I was offering very, I was offering various pieces of feedback and I didn't feel like it was received. And eventually we couldn't come to any agreements and pretty much we had to cut the conversation. And there was no contact whatsoever afterwards. I didn't reach out, that individual didn't reach out. And then I get a message. And that message, I was hopeful that it will be a positive message reaching out for me to communicate and saying that maybe there's something true in what I say and that there's a willingness to listen and exchange opinions. But instead, it was just a message asking me to stop calling that organization a cult. Interestingly enough, funny enough, that's exactly what I expected. I was hoping something that there will be more constructive, but that's kind of what I was expecting to get, knowing the, the person, the individual behind the message. And I responded by saying that I do my best to never mention which organization I'm talking about, to never mention the name of the leader of that organization. I'm really doing it just primarily because I feel the importance of not only exploring my own personal experience to overcome it, to evolve, to develop, but also for others to benefit because I, I bet there's a number of individuals. I know, as a matter of fact, that it's true that there's a number of individuals who went through very similar experiences, not even in that same organization. It's just, it just happens. And I know that it's a difficult struggle to be in that experience and to, to overcome that experience. And, and I feel the importance to talk about that subject and explore it in the best degree possible for the sake of the better of everyone who might benefit from it. I also, I also made the point that, you know, there is a chance that that organization, I made the point that to that leader of the organization, I made a point that there's a chance that it is a cult. It's just not recognized internally. And I feel that that's, that's even more important that I speak my mind about it in as honest way as I can because there is a famous event which I think I referenced in one of my videos where a famous spiritual teacher named Andrew Coban, his top students wrote a book about him, is sharing stories how he's actually abusive and not such a good person and how unfair he was and traumatizing he was towards them. And they also used the help of a known, I think psychiatrist, psychotherapist that I remember. And they came to a conclusion that that individual was a narcissist based on the definition of it. And after that book was released, the spiritual teacher eventually admitted that they're right, that actually he's not that good. And he realized that he made mistakes and he stepped down from that position. And I personally think that's a great event. I think it's great that that was done. But, and I was referenced to that moment, I said, you know, so I'm not even directly challenging that organization, but I'm saying that, you know, that it's important to bring up these opinions because they may be true and they may create positive change, create positive reflections. And that I felt, I expressed that I felt that I'm trying, I'm being, there's an attempt to censor me, to censor my opinion, to censor my experience. And that message did not get any responses. The next message was basically just telling me that I am hurting, and this is a quote, you know, I'm hurting the individual, the leader of the organization, that it hurts him that I do this, that it's painful for him, basically. And again, that basically I should just stop doing it. And that's where, you know, now already a caught that something is off at that moment. And then later I reflected about that with a few different individuals who are psychotherapists. And there was, and there's something noticed that, you know, that there's, that's a lot of, that's guilting, you know, that's trying to make me feel guilty for doing that because, you know, it wasn't some strong argument, counter argument, proving me wrong. It was just trying to play with my guilt by saying that I'm hurting that individual as if that's the reason not to talk about something that is potentially very important. You know, I spoke with another, as I said, I later tried to reflect about this with a few different individuals who I have high respect to and who I feel are very intellectual and knowledgeable. And one of these people pointed out to me that idea that sometimes it's important to ask yourself, would I ever make such a statement would I ever communicate in that way? And if I would never do that, or I mean I would, you know, well, never is a strong word, but basically, you know, if I wouldn't express myself that way because it's just not there, then it's most likely that it's unfair of the other person to do that too. But that whole conversation brought back a lot of reflections again in me. And that's what made me reconsider and re-reflect. Okay, so what's off about this moment already? And what helps me realize that I'm not on the wrong here, you know, that there is nobody's perfect and I'm not saying I'm doing this perfectly, but there's something off on the other side of the picture. And that's where I want to start digging down into the bike model to establish better and to give arguments to why I do consider that that experience that that organization could be defined as a cult and why, you know, it's not fair for that organization to just ask me to stop calling them a cult, even without directly mentioning who I am referencing. Now it's raining, so let's move back to the other place. All right, so it seems we're gonna have this romantic talk in the rain. But yeah, so let's eventually get to the part of the bike model. What makes me consider, you know, my experience to qualify my experience as being a part of a cult. So I'm putting this up right now. I can see the model and I'll slowly look at it. So the destructive, and obviously, you know, the more you go to the right, the more extreme it is. And I'm sure there are very extreme cases. As I said, I'm not saying that mine was very extreme, but it was towards that side. It was more destructive because it left that trace of negative influence. And it was already building that while I was part of the organization, but yeah. So first statement is clones, a destructive cult clones people. And that one is a hard one to, it's more hard to prove. Would be more hard to prove, I'd say. But when I reflect them, ask myself, okay, so in that organization was there cloning happening? I'd say definitely. It was because in one of the videos I mentioned, there was already a certain level of censorship there. Like there were some words which were highly suggested not to use like control, which is, you know, kind of a weird thing. And I could understand, you know, the idea of wording certain words to create a certain mindset. But again, when that's highly criticized, they're like, don't use that, you know, that's not a good word. That's that would create a, that's not only kind of almost like in a sense of forbidding, but also eventually with such cases, what would happen that everyone who's a part of that organization would have a pretty much the same vocabulary. Like various, they would use the same metaphors, the same expressions that you would use. You would emphasize the same words and wouldn't emphasize other words. And I guess, you know, it's even Steven, the person behind this model talks that, you know, cults are everywhere. It's not just religious. It's not just spiritual. It can be, it can be a business cult. It can be, you know, a certain, you know, like psychology cult, psychotherapy cults. It can be cults can be everywhere. And you can see that phenomenon happening in other places. But the thing is when I think the issue that I see here is when you are structuring the way people should express themselves and highly suggesting a certain way of expressing yourself, then that ends up being kind of a sample of cloning people because you start to feel there are certain good ways to act and certain bad ways to act and you start to act more. What comes down to like the leader of that organization? Because he is the one defining what is right and what is wrong. And I did hear, like even when I was a part of that organization, I remember an external person who was visiting the organization was telling, oh, you know, it wasn't like a criticism, but that was just a reflection. They said, you all move like that leader. You know, there's always like, you all kind of have a similar sense symptom. Like you can see that you're your students. And that's usually again, that's a reference that there's some cloning there. If you look on the right side, the first statement is censorship. And I already, you know, said what happened this week. So that kind of proves my point. And that's more or less why I was pushed out out of the organization. When I started publishing videos on YouTube, which were, which had a different statement than the organization, which was kind of challenging the belief structure. I didn't want to go too much into detail of how that happened, but it wasn't again, it wasn't nice. And eventually there was kind of a suggestion that, okay, if you have to stop expressing yourself on that level to that degree in this way, if you want to be a part of this organization. And that's eventually why I decided to quit. I said, it's for me, it's unacceptable. And now the demand for me to ask, for me to stop just bluntly stop using the reference of a cult for me, that's that censorship. If I continue on obedience, that was a big one. And again, as I mentioned in the beginning of the video, it was subtle, you know, it would not be mentioned officially by any means whatsoever. On the contrary, different things, the contrary things would be, the opposite things would be spoken about, that it's all about freedom and et cetera. But if you would, when you would look at the actions and we'd look at the actual things that were happening, there was a lot of, like there was definitely, and this is there, I can see there's, you know, there's some points, the pyramid and authoritarian that applies to the same, but there was a very much top to bottom structure where the leader was the decision maker and you couldn't actually like really make a full on decision, like a big decision without his approval. And even the way the structure was created, it was funny because everybody would feel like they have to ask for permission of the leader. And that was not officially demanded, but the way things were set up, you just felt like you had to, because if there would be cases, even myself, I would do something without, you know, checking in with that individual and I would get punished for, you know, for like, why did you not ask me? And there was the one funny case which really shows me that is when I was traveling, because it was in a different country, I was traveling to visit that individual and another part of the organization, a member who were, we used to be good friends the other day, he said, oh, I would like to invite you to my house, to my place, that I first have to ask the leader, I mean, obviously he wasn't referring to the leader, but basically that's where it was. I have to ask the leader if you can visit me and come to my place for a night, which is crazy, you know, that's an adult asking if he can invite me over. And another case which was kind of crazy and funny, again, when I was going to the country to visit that individual, another friend of mine invited me for a couple of nights to a different city to spend a night and I said, oh yeah, sure, I will, like the last couple of nights. And the leader of the organization, he was upset and was directly expressing to me that he was upset that I did not consult with him and ask him if I can, I did not consult with him about staying over at extra nights at that person's place, although I never promised that I will be specifically visiting you from this day to this day. And he was upset, he was upset that I did not ask for his, basically just did not ask for his permission. That was not obviously clearly stated, but that was the case. So kind of that kind of obedience, yeah, for sure, it was there. Doctoring over personal experience, I'd have to dig in more into exactly what Stephen means by that, but I can again kind of relate with it and that there were certain things in the organization which were considered the truth above all. You know, like this is the right thing. And even if your experience, and now that I'm reflecting actually, yeah, that was definitely there, even if your experience was dictating something else and you would come in and I'd say me or someone else would say, you know, actually my experience kind of shows different results. Usually that wasn't encouraged and that wasn't really accepted. It was more of, at that moment, there was more of an attempt to deny your experience, to tell you, no, you're wrong. It's actually like that. So basically there was not a lot of space for having a different opinion or different experience. There was always an attempt to reframe your experience and tell you, no, no, actually, you know, you didn't understand it. Well, let me explain you how it is. So even like when I fell out at the very last stages of the experience, that was one of the main reasons because my experience was different than the leader of the organization. And, you know, we couldn't find, we couldn't see eye to eye and I was given no space to stay there. And it's also interesting too, you know, because you could, I could consider and think, oh, maybe it's just me, you know, it's just me that didn't, we didn't understand each other. But the crazy and again, almost funny, ironically funny, kind of sadly funny part is that I know a significant amount of individuals who used to be a part of that organization, you know, I couldn't make a whole list of them who started having a different opinion and event and they were pushed out. Like, like, like in subtle ways, you know, I don't think anyone was directly kicked out but the conditions were created where they just felt like they have to leave, including myself. And there's like a whole load of those people which the people who didn't see eye to eye with the leader, they all eventually felt the push to leave the organization. So, you know, and again, the leader's attempt is to try to make me or those individuals feel guilty or ashamed that we didn't understand him and it's our fault and, you know, and but that's like, that's the cult mentality. That's the sign of the cult. So, yeah. Moving on, dependency. So I think that's kind of obvious now with the things I said, like my friend asking for permission, asking like, can I invite him over? And that was like all over the place, including myself, even when I left the organization and went back to my country, I kept writing emails to the leader, asking like, is that okay? Is it okay if I do this? Is that okay? And I said, do you think that's a good idea? But especially when I was directly in the organization, being next to him, like that dependency sense was always there. And there was a sense like, if I will be without him, then I will be doomed, you know? Like, like, man, oh man, how much do I need him? And I know that, and I recognize that most of the students, most of the members of the organization felt like that. They felt like, you know, it's so important that we stay in connection with him. It's so important that, you know, we check in with him. And there was a lot, a strong sense of dependency, which I can definitely say that it was in me. And again, you could say, you know, blame me, but like, oh, you're just a dependent person. But trust me, it was structural, it was systematic, the way it was implemented. And I could also recognize it in other people, including that funny story with my friend asking if I can come over. Theophobia, that was a big one. That was a big one, a direct story, which helped me realize that was not only my case, I was growing with another buddy of mine and we were both like part of that organization. And we did something, or I don't remember, it was just him or we did it together, but he was concerned that he was like, oh my, he was like, oh my God, I'm so concerned that when we're gonna get back, we're gonna get our asses kicked. Like I really clearly remember that conversation. He was terrified that he will get punished psychologically, not physically, but he will get punished by the leader because he did something that wasn't according to him. And I remember I was afraid as well and I could relate to that fear so much, you know, we're both kind of growing and being afraid and like, oh my goodness, you know, this is like, God, we're gonna get our asses kicked. This is gonna be so bad. And eventually, like even that a case didn't happen, I think we didn't actually, it turns out we didn't upset the leader, but there were so many cases where I got psychologically punished for doing something which that individual did not want me to do. So I was constantly in fear. I was always thinking, I always had that fear of, I felt kind of, again, coming back to that dependency I felt that sense of, damn, you know, like, will he approve this? Is it okay if I will do this? What will he think? And crazy where I can be totally honest and do my best to be vulnerable with you. Crazy that that sense is somewhere there, even like till today, like there's a bit of a fear in me recording this video because I know that it may have implications for that individual, it may upset him. And it's crazy that I'm, that part of me is afraid of that. It's just mental, it's nuts. It's not healthy at all, but it just shows how deep that cult mentality and that programming of a cult goes into you. And again, to give you a sense that it was just not me. It wasn't just an individual thing. When I was, when I started to fall out with the leader of the organization and I started to reflect and tell him, you know, actually I'm seeing some things which I don't think are good for me in our relationship. And I told him, I explained to him and argumented that there's a strong sense of fear from me towards him. And it was hard to take that for him. At the day he, I think I made, I think I made good enough arguments so he had a hard time neglecting, disagreeing I think. I don't remember exactly, but I think the tendency was trying to tell me that it's my experience, you know, it's just, it's my character and so on. It's kind of like, you know, he didn't prevent that, but it's more or less my thing. But then at the very end of our meeting, I said, you know, I'm also concerned and I also see signs that one of the other top members of the organization has a, and also someone else even particularly told me that that person has also their fearful relationship with the leader and the thing he told me, he said that it's not in my business. He literally told me, it's not in your business. Like my relation, that his relationship with that person. Like, and I quote, it's not in my business. He said it in an angry voice and he never spoke about it again. So basically that seems, that shows that there was a conscious recognition of the leader, that there is a fear driven relationship, but he didn't even want to discuss that with me or admit it. So crazy shit, crazy, crazy shit. A few more things, pressure to think the right way. I think I already made some, I think I already made some points about that. Like there was a strong suggestedness to consider some things as true. There was a strong attempt to prove you wrong if you had a different opinion. And there was a suggestedness to what words are appropriate, what words are not appropriate, what are good examples, what are bad examples. There's definitely a pressure to feel, to think the right way. And I also spoke recently with another member of that organization. We only got to know each other just recently, but he used to be a member of that organization, but the same leader, under the same leader, like more than a decade ago. And when he started thinking differently, he told me that not only did he like feel like he had to, there was that push away as well, but the leader kept calling him day after day trying to convince him and tell him that he's wrong. Like he's, the way he expressed it, he said like for like a month or two months, which is just mental. It's nuts. Who does that? What same person with the same mental capacity who does not have a cult mindset would keep insisting on calling someone who has a different opinion to try to prove them wrong, to try to convince them that the leader's way is the right way. It's, that's cult, cult, cult, cult, right? Pressure to feel the right way. Then this one is tricky, you know, because feelings are subtle, but I do have some reflections about that too. So the pressure to feel the right way, it was, I didn't describe this like, I do remember because it was a spiritual community, spiritual organization, and there were moments where I would feel it in a certain way and I would express, you know, that I feel like that. And I can give very clear examples, but I remember that there were cases like that where I would express, you know, I feel like this and there was a suggestion that no, no, you know, that feeling is not the right one or like, you know, you shouldn't feel that way more or less, you know, the right feeling is this feeling and again, I can give you precise examples and that's why I don't wanna spend so much time here, but I do remember that being part of my experience and that's, again, that's crazy, you know, to suggest to someone that you should be feeling that your feeling is somehow not valid that, that, you know, it's, yeah, it's just crazy. And pressure to behave the right way, oh yeah, for sure, again, like, you know, there were things which were appropriate, things which were not appropriate. There was a very clear structure, like, you know, the leader would always sit at the end of the table. If you would sit at that place, you would be suggested to move away and give the space to that individual, you know, stuff like that, like certain behaviors to kind of check in, to double check, to ask. Again, it's hard to name all of them, but there was definitely a sense of that. And if we look at organizations, pyramid organization, yes. Again, as I said before, while it was officially stated that it's, that it's, we're all equal and so on and so forth, and it wasn't like hardcore equality, there was a recognition that the leader is the leader, but there was a suggestion, there was kind of a thought of line that, no, but we should act as equals and so on. But, oh my goodness, yes, there was a pyramid, like, everyone would, you know, the main guy was the main guy, the leader was the leader. Every major decision was based on him. Everybody felt he had to check in. I mean, from all the stories I gave you before already, I think you feel that, that was the case. Authoritarian, same thing. Ends justify the means. Yeah, I'd say there was a sense of that as well, where even when the person, the leader would act inappropriately and on very rare occasions, he was caught and that was kind of brought to this subject. There was kind of a narrative of, well, but you know, that created, you know, the good results or that was done because I want the best for you and I think that will be best for you and I thought that will be best for you or something like that. And like, even like, Ends justify the means, even reflect about the message I mentioned to you that I received, the exchange I lately had. You know, there was a suggestion, there was, one of the sentences was telling me, like, didn't I do you good by, I'm not quoting, but basically that was it, didn't I do you good by doing this and doing that? I give you this and I give you this opportunity and so on. And I didn't respond to that because I was still waiting for my answer to my question, but my thought in my mind was it was, it still doesn't mean it's not a cult, it still doesn't mean a lot of bad shit wasn't done to me. No, it didn't mean it doesn't neglect all the psychological negative impact that whole experience had on me. And so Ends justify the means. There was almost like a sense of that, that, oh, look, this and this and this good thing happened. You know, a list of these good things that means everything is good. That means everything that was bad is justified and hell not. No, no, you know, my thought that I had in my mind is if somebody raped me, right? And that would make me, that would traumatize me in a way where that trauma would make me self reflect and, you know, become like a therapist and help people who were raped. And then the rapist would come and tell me, oh, you see, I did you good, you know? Eventually it was for your own better. It's like fucking asshole, you know what I mean? Do you see what I mean? Maybe I'm not expressing myself as clearly as I'd like to, but for me, that's an example of like, we cannot justify your action because of that. Yes, you know, bad things sometimes lead to good things eventually, but it does neglect the fact that it's bad and you shouldn't justify the bad thing for it. And closed preserves power. Again, there was always a power play of making sure that the leader maintains the power, that everybody knows that the leader maintains the power. The power was given to some degree and power is mostly given to people who would be most compliant, who would agree most. And that was also me, you know? I was a very devoted student. I was a very devoted member and to a degree I was given quite a bit of power, a bit more than others I think at times. Also, I think because I just, you know, I had my own mind, but I think part of that was, you know, the power was given to me because I didn't question the ultimate power. And as soon as I started to question the ultimate power, then I was basically pushed out, which is again a power play. So these are my reflections. And, you know, I could go on and, you know, make a list of, like, really sit down and make a whole list of stories arguing and making a point that, you know, this really shows that this point is true and this point is true. And now I'm more just kind of reflecting with you in a live way. I could also reach out to other members of that organization and, you know, just ask them, you know, do the Andrew Cohen thing, ask everyone to write who fell out with that community, with that organization to write numerous stories which would prove as arguments that, you know, that it is a cult. But I personally don't think it's necessary. And this is where I think that individual doesn't get me. I forgot to say one more thing. In that exchange, that individual was suggesting that I'm doing all of this for money and for entertainment. And, you know, this is a quote. It's a quote saying that, you know, it's being done for money, finances and entertainment. This is just crazy. You know, it's such a immature way to look at what I'm doing. There's no perception that actually I believe that this is right. There's actually a belief in that individual that it's an ego trip that I'm on. And it's, again, it's kind of blaming and shaming me, making me feel like, you know, I'm that I should feel guilty because I'm acting out of egotistical means. So my point was though, I think, yeah, so that person thinks that I'm in a direct war with that organization that it's all about me wanting to take them down. And honestly, that's not how I feel. You know, if I would, and I was telling, I was telling that in the exchange, if I would want to take down that organization, I have the means, I have the tools, I have enough subscribers and followers and connections to, you know, I could bash them to pieces. You know, I could go on the Angie Cohen's way, write a book. I could collect a video of testaments. You know, there's so many things I could do to completely destroy them. And I don't because you know what? I think I do feel the importance of bringing up these points, of sharing my narrative, of sharing this exploration because I already know as a fact from some people who reach out to me, it's helpful not only for me but also for others to learn that they're not alone, that they went through the same experience and that this is a universal experience and that actually they are sane and they shouldn't feel guilty about it. They should re-empower themselves as well. So that's my main goal. And other than that, yeah, I mean, they're living their own life, you know, and that organization I do admit sometimes on record, there were some good things I was given and hopefully they're not hopeless. Hopefully there will be a moment of self-reflection and they will look and they will recognize that if so many people fell out for having a different mindset that maybe, you know, there is a high chance that it is a cult, a destructive cult. And maybe they will change, you know, and I don't want to start a war either where they try to directly, you know, take me down and I have a feeling they might try. So it just would be messy. And so eventually I'm just, I'm not going on a crusade. I'm leaving them be, you know, whoever needs to know who is who, they'll know. But it's their thing, you know, and they don't need to listen to me. I'm just making my arguments. I'm just sharing my opinion. And if somebody in the organization realizes that, you know, they look at my arguments and realize, actually, you know what, that reflects my experience. There's one individual who connected with me who, which that was the case. He told me that in the beginning, he did not believe me. He thought I'm full of shit. You know, he was deep in the organization as well. And everybody was telling that I'm a bad person, you know, that I'm trying to take them down, et cetera. But then with time, he started to think about what I said and realized, you know what, that he started to recognize that my arguments and what I described, he started to witness cases of that. And he started to see that it's true and eventually he had to leave as well. So that will happen naturally. There's no need for a direct war. So having said all that, yeah, this is where I stand. This is how I feel. And especially the first part of the video, I admit, you know, it was kind of a moment of a vulnerable state. And I do want to point out that that's again, why I feel that's why I cherish this journey. That's why I cherish this channel. That's what made I think the martial arts journey great as well is that most people are on Instagram and social media. They're all about, oh, look at my positive experience here. Look how I know this, look how I know that. I think so many people suffer, so many people have challenges and difficulties, but they don't openly talk about that. You don't reflect about it. And then we all feel alone. We all feel like we're only once suffering from that experience, but then that's why I feel it's so important for me that when I am in that vulnerable state to not hide it, to not pretend it's all 100% fine with me, but to put it on record. That's why I feel that draw to come in and say, you know what, I'm open to talk about this. This is how I feel. This is a difficult moment for me, but we'll get through this together. So, yeah, just if you're wondering. And the very last part I wanted to say in this video is, you know, there's always a chance that I am wrong. As far-fetched as that seems when I make all those arguments and I make that reflection and so many people connect with me and they, you know, so many different people connect with me and they tell me that they relate with me, both outside of that organization and within that organization and smart people, you know, smart individuals. But even so, you know, I don't think I'm wrong, but you know, there's always stuff, there's always place for improvement. And if somebody would make great counter arguments to what I say, I'd appreciate it. And that's where I'm saying, you know, that's where I also see my YouTube videos as a feedback loop. So if you are looking at this video, watching this video and you're thinking like, oh, Rokas is delusional. You know, he's unfair to that organization. You know, he's doing the wrong thing. Then tell me in the comments. I'll listen into it. I'll think about it. I'll reflect on it. And also too, I will be sending this video to three different individuals who are, who have degrees in psychotherapy, different fields, and they're unconnected to each other, even in different countries. And I will ask for a favor for them to watch this video and to tell me if it's unfair, if I'm being unfair and if I'm, you know, I was also in that exchange. I was called the bully that I'm a bully and that I'm doing this for clickbait, money and entertainment. So if you think this is, you know, clickbait and entertainment and money, then yeah, let me know in the comments, but I also will send this video to those established experienced experts of psychology and psychotherapy. And I'll ask them to watch this video before I release it to tell me if it's unfair and if they will tell me it's unfair, it's unjust, I'm not being rational, I'm being radical, et cetera. If they'll tell me and they will suggest for me not to put this video, I will not put this video out. I promise. If they, if you're watching this video means then I got approval to put out this video at least to some degree, you know, maybe, you know, I can't promise everyone will be all in, but there was no saying, but that means there was no saying of, broke us or doing nuts, don't do this, you're being unfair, you're being a bully, et cetera. So let's connect up in the comments. Thank you for watching. I realized this was a long video. Again, it's a rough-edged one where I just, you know, express myself in a moment, but I hope you find it valuable and let me know what you think in the comments. Thank you for watching and until next time.