 So yeah, you know, we're back in How do you deal with that the discovery? You know, well, it's really I'd say plugged into so much of what I teach Like what I teach is really about actively doing something to be attractive. Yeah, it's about you know putting out very basic things You know putting out eye contact You know making that seeing how they respond Just you know asking them questions stuff. I talked about two years ago at the convention Yeah, of just really being curious showing just genuine Interest in in who they are what they're about and then leaving them space and then seeing what they do what they say who they Are and you know and as they open that up, you know show either be honest with myself Is this something that I'm really enjoying is this something that you're not just she's hot So I'm gonna love everything that she says But is this something I'm jiving with is this something I appreciate and I've got enough experience to see how women can act one way And it's awesome and women can act another way and it's just it turns me off But but so, you know very much to just put out give her opportunities to open up give her opportunities to To kind of be who she is and then just being honest with myself about if I actually like that or not And if so being you know more curious more interested getting more out and if not just kind of Losing interest and and seeing if maybe she's gonna recognize and say okay. I was being an asshole That's not who I am man if you could like walk me down I mean everybody's different and I and I know how Unique and you are with this, you know to truly find the unique individual But like what was the last like, you know kind of date that you went on or experience You had with a woman where this kind of unfolded just so guys can get these points that you're talking about and by points I don't mean specific action. I took her to fro you then I said, you know, but but yeah, walk us down an experience that you had Let's say there's you know the majority of the Every so often like and it's a rare thing, you know You find the people that you really just click with where talking is like you just start talking to them And it's the best thing in the world. It's easy There's there's nothing else you'd rather do exactly. It's it's the best I mean, so there's there but then you know, those don't happen that often in your life Those are more few and far between so a question I get a lot of how do you enjoy the interim and In between there I think that there's you know, a lot of people who you know, you know, you maybe it's not like that It's not like that that very rare thing that happens but it's more but it's It's more you know, geez. How do you even describe that you? You your values are relatively the same you care about the same things. They're they're a decent human being You know your sense of humor line up you enjoy laughing together as they they open up They're saying things that you you can appreciate. They're saying things that you you care about talking about their family or talking about their friends They're not just kind of you know, I've tried going on dates with women that it's it's just like they're this Like like they have whatever the magazine or the TV say they should be And it's it's more it's more than not even if we don't completely match up on anything I'm gonna enjoy myself a lot more if a woman is is really putting herself out there If she's really, you know, not just kind of going through the same plastic steps just like with guys I think yeah, oh big time same thing That's attractive or not and if I'm if I can see that she's the kind of person that that can just be real That can't just be genuine and and and do all the same things that I'm trying to do find somebody else That's that can be real with her like that's just gonna make me respect her. That's gonna make me Want to spend more time with her even if it's not, you know for forever or even if it's just a friendship like I got I got this for you with You know you talked about commonalities and stuff like that one thing that I find like really interesting and this is tough Dude, I mean I I have to check myself on this all the time But I remember I did these interviews way back when about American culture like totally separate thing And you know like what is American culture? What do you like about what you dislike? You know all that sort of stuff. How'd you change those things? So I interviewed all these people but there were people like I went in with an agenda like I want to you know Have this ideology, you know highlighted. I interviewed people that were totally outside of what I thought like let's say You know, they were You know pro life and I was like going for the pro choice thing or whatever, you know, yeah, and just If I talked to somebody with a common belief of mine Sometimes they would end up getting wrapped up in that and then we weren't having a human connection The people that I disagreed with most or like was like so alien had no commonality We hit a commonality of like, okay, you think this way I think this way, but you know, this is why I think it and I started to understand people and I was like wow Intrude socializing there isn't any judgment like when we're connected. Yeah, and I think for me That's what I'm always looking for when I'm like wow How can I you know if there's this girl and she's from wherever and maybe she has a shield up or a wall If that lowers man, that's like such a beautiful thing. Yeah, it's what we try to teach our guys to do I love that's what I see you do, you know, yeah, it's because it's not about you hit the nail on the head It's not about you know, do you agree or disagree with my position, right? It's is whether if you agree, but it's still just kind of come from this like plastic thing Like I'm just reciting something I heard somewhere else because I think it's like the right thing to say or because it works It's gonna feel weird. It's gonna feel I'm not gonna connect with that person Whereas even if they disagree if it's coming from like their real genuine belief if they're really speaking there or their mind They're speaking their heart. Yeah, then I'm gonna feel that person. I'm gonna connect with them I'm gonna want to talk with them more. Yeah No, man, it's just such a cool thing. This is something that we were talking about and I just was thinking about it going like wow I'd like to talk when I do interview Nick. I'd like to talk about this, but we were talking about orgasm and in some of the Orgasm orgasm meditation stuff that you've done and you have a friend that is like, you know Teaches this in unique ways, but we just started. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we start talking about That expression of woman and women expression of sexuality Being in love with that like what when did this start for you and like not that you're like this like Super connoisseur because some people get like cold like into it, you know, but but yeah, like how did you? Fall into that like tell me the story of that I've um Christina Berkeley as the person you you mentioned if anyone's familiar with Orgasm meditation The big name in this space right now Nicole de Don and one taste They're they're kind of the biggest brand of orgasm meditation really getting the most publicity right now and And Christina used to work with one taste used to be kind of Cole's right-hand woman running the the New York area And and there was a lot of stuff with the practice of simply, you know, yeah pussy stroking That that Christina wanted to do differently and then so she kind of broke off and I was when I first met her I was just looking for a female assistant for my program right and Brought her on and I quickly realized the stuff she was sharing and the advice she was giving was just a whole different level Yeah, and I mean she's helped guide my you know what I teach and my kind of my thinking around all this as much as anyone and And so I met her when she was going through this transition away from one taste and our own thing And as she started building her own practice, this was maybe two two and a half years ago I started you know, she's telling me all you come in and you yeah, of course It sounds it sounds fascinating and even at the same time, you know my own sexuality my own relationship with women These were all things that I was very much working on very much trying to improve and figure out for myself And and so this this practice sounded very attractive to me Yeah, and and so she really started forming her own thing and I said, you know good friend of mine at that point Let's I'm you know, I'm in this like sign me up and and so she took me through the same process you she took everyone else the same training process and You know, I started doing it and yeah, it was it was hugely beneficial I'd say just for my relationships with women not even a sexual way, right? Yeah, really being you know comfortable with women not just as I mentioned not just kind of looking as oh How can I achieve sex but just being comfortable with with my sexuality with feminine sexuality? I'm gonna in a much more healthy way. I think there's an element to To sex as a man that you really touch on a lot like with this speech and just your general vibe like yeah I in the 2012 speech you may not specifically be saying this but there's a part That's the urge where you see that chick like when we're in the back of the you know This could have happened or not, but in the back of the conference room. We're like fuck I just want to I need to see those tips Sure, I want to see what happens in between those legs, but then there's this other side that's But no man, and that's like animal shit It's God-given man. Yeah. Yes. Yeah in Men need to get in touch with that and I think you hit on that very well But then men need to hit on or get in touch with the the rapport side like how can we feel? And then there's this other side with the orgasm of like How can we exist in this sexual state in the act of sex with this woman and feel her Absolute expression, you know potential mm-hmm allow connection to happen, you know allow the two things to become one and You just say it really well, you know We're almost out of time, but what? About those three things, you know the urge of man Yeah, the the rapport and then the state of sex I think the big trouble that I've had that I think a lot of guys have is that we have these completely natural beautiful You know desires feelings urges But then it's like we've been trained in our society We've been trained in our upbringing to quickly like our ego just takes over our head takes over Oh, yeah I want her because it'll be this status and I'll feel so good about myself when I'm banging this hot chick Right and and it becomes this just mental process and then the mental well, how can I get her? How can I I can I can achieve that and we completely cut ourselves off like it comes from a great place But then we just kind of are taught our entire lives to make it about this this ego driven thing Yeah, and so to kind of learn to you know when that's happening to not just flee off into this It's kind of unhealthy place with it But to learn to keep it where it belongs to it to keep it and that's why though the practice is called orgasmic meditation Because you're experiencing the sexuality, but it's really more about learning to meditate on those feelings learning to hold them And be present with that that natural urge, and if you're you're coming from that place, it's gonna feel good It's gonna for yourself for the other people around you But you know when it once it becomes this kind of mental process is ego driven process It's gonna make everybody kind of less satisfied and less happy with that man. No, that's badass. That's beautiful That's beautiful Nick sparks. How do we find out about you sparks of attraction calm my upcoming book Attraction make women want you and men respect you should be hitting the bookshelf in the next month or two So check that out man can't wait. It'd be awesome. Good to have you man. Pleasure Steve Wow guys that was a cool podcast man just just an awesome experience if you guys could Leave some feedback lead leave a comment We'll get back to you if you give us some thumbs up some likes and don't forget to hit the subscribe button So you can be a part of this awesome movement and following that we're doing here At the 21 convention. I'm Steve Maeda and we're signing off