 Do you know someone who is diagnosed with ADHD? ADHD, also known as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a neurobiological condition that causes distractibility, hyperactivity, and impulsivity symptoms. Because there's still many who aren't aware of what ADHD is, they may say things that are hurtful and validating or even discriminatory. So to avoid this, here are five things you should never say to someone with ADHD and what you should say instead. Number one, are you sure it's ADHD? If they're already diagnosed with it, there's really no point in questioning them about it further. Even if you say it with good intentions, it still comes off as rude and dismissive. While you may be saying it because a lot of people doubt an ADHD diagnosis. Since some may say, oh, it's just children being children or they've always been clumsy and inattentive, it's just their personality. But this isn't necessarily true. Before a child is diagnosed with ADHD, they undergo a full physical exam, vision and hearing test, as well as a non-invasive scan called the Neuropsychiatric EEG-based Assessment Aid, or the NEBA system, to measure theta and brain waves. And while a diagnosis for adults is trigger, it's still possible to get an accurate one. After a healthcare professional looks at their history, conducts family interviews in physical, neurological and psychological tests. So don't go around asking whether they're sure it's ADHD or not. Number two, it's probably because of how you were raised. Did you know that ADHD can be a genetic condition? According to Griffin, for any child with ADHD, there's a 30 to 40% chance that one of their parents has a two. Remember that ADHD can be challenging for both children and parents. Children who have ADHD may face a higher chance of being bullied and rejected, resulting in lower qualities of life and the parents of children with ADHD may doubt and question themselves on whether they're raising them the right way. So by saying that ADHD is caused by parenting styles, not only are you incorrect, you also end up deeply hurting those who are trying their best to raise their children. Number three, you just need to have self-control. Telling a person with ADHD to have more self-control is like telling someone with alcoholism to stop drinking. It's not useful and it's insensitive. People with ADHD tend to be inconsistent because of their symptoms. They may be able to perform a task smoothly one day and face immense difficulty doing it again the next, but this doesn't mean they have less self-control. Instead, they probably had to put in even more focus and effort to get the job done. Number four, I relate to you so much. Unless you have the condition yourself, you probably can't fully understand what it's like. While you can try to imagine what they're going through by listening to them and educating yourself on the topic, saying that you fully relate to them may make it seem like you're downplaying their condition. Oftentimes when you say this, you may be actually relating to some of their symptoms such as forgetfulness, distractibility, hyperactivity, or, and inattention, but not everyone who shares these characteristics has ADHD. People diagnosed with the condition face symptoms that are far more intense and recurring to the point where it greatly affects their own lives and relationships. But if you do share the same symptoms and it's starting to affect your way of living, please visit a healthcare professional to get an accurate diagnosis. Getting help is highly important. And number five, isn't that just all in your head? When you ask questions like these, you're questioning the validity of their disorder, which can make you appear dismissive and it can also negatively impact their emotions and self-esteem. While ADHD is at neurodevelopmental disorder, it doesn't mean that it's all in their head. According to Cronkleton, ADHD causes differences in brain structure, function, and development. Now that we've covered what you should try to avoid saying, here's some things you can say instead. I've never experienced what you're going through, but I understand you're in pain. Instead of saying that you can relate to them, you can validate their struggle and offer your support to them. This way you're not minimizing their condition but giving them a shoulder to lean on. After all, they may have lost opportunities or broken relationships because of their disorder and just need some support. Of course, your feelings matter too, so if you wanna express something to them, try to choose words that won't make them feel bad about their condition. Up next is, I'm here to listen. Is there something they wanna talk about? If so, they'll most likely appreciate the time you provide to them, especially if they've just gone through a rough experience and need to let out some steam. When you're listening to them, remember not to be afraid to ask questions and try not to interrupt them as they're talking. You can also say, your struggles are valid. Although mental health is more talked about now, there are still plenty of people who are uneducated about it. If you know someone with a condition, they've probably experienced and heard a lot of accusations, misconceptions, and discriminatory or dismissive remarks about it. This can be pretty tough since it can lower their self-esteem and make them question their sense of self. For this reason, it's good to reassure them from time to time by saying that what they're going through is completely valid or say something like, I like you just the way you are. ADHD currently has no cure. As a result, people with a condition may sometimes experience feelings of hopelessness. So remember to remind them from time to time that they're loved and appreciated for who they are and who doesn't love hearing you rock. Did you know that Michael Phelps, Adam Levine, and Paris Hilton have ADHD? ADHD shouldn't hinder you from living life to the fullest. So be sure to let them know that they're amazing and that their conditions shouldn't stop them from doing great things and going full Percy Jackson mode to everyone with ADHD, you rock. Have you ever said any of these to someone with ADHD? If you have any topic suggestion or want to part two to this, please comment down below. Also, if you know people who can resonate with this video, please don't hesitate to share it with them. As usual, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video with those who might benefit from it. And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video. The references and studies used are in the description box below.