 From Chicago, we invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Sy Howard and starring J. Carol Nash. A year ago when Luigi Basko left Italy to start his new life in America, he promised his mother that he would write her and tell her about his adventures. So now we look over Luigi's shoulder as he writes another letter to Mama Basko in Italy. Dear Mamma Mia, Chicago is a very fine city and a full of very fine people. It's very interesting for me to stand in front of my store and watch people walk by and guess what they are by the way they walk. Yesterday I watched a man. He walked very fast. He's a banker. Then I see a man walking not so fast, not so slow. I think he's a clerk. Then I see a man. He walks very slow and a look very sad. He's a Republican. Because you see Mama Mia was a big election in America last week. Was a very close race between the two fellows. Mr. Truman win, Dr. Gallop lose. But now American people forget all about politics. Now they interest it in a football. It is a wonderful country. When one day people fight about politics, next day football, and I'm very happy to be here. Only our country, Man Pasquale, who bring me to this country and who has Pasquale Spaghetti Palace next store, he is unhappy. For him, only important campaign is for me to marry his daughter Rosa. Oh Mama Mia, if you see her you know what means a word in inflation. He weighs more than she's worth. If a fellow marry her and the must carry bride into house after the wedding, he can't make it in one trip or must make a two trip. But I have my antique business and I try to forget Pasquale. This morning, just before my general manager, the 12-year-old Bambino Jimmy O'Connor go to school, I show him a sign that I paint to myself. All right Jimmy, we put this sign in the window, then you go to school. How you like it? Special fire sale. But boss, you haven't had a fire. I know, but tomorrow I must pay insurance, so today I have fire sale. How you like my printing, Jimmy? Well, for a man who's only been here a little while it's pretty good. Sure, I don't write with the broken hand writing anymore. You tell my teacher Miss Spalding, huh? Hey boss, look who's coming. Customer? No, it's Mr. Pasquale. What does he want so early in the morning? Same a thing he wants so late at night. I should marry Rosa. What are you going to say? Same a thing. No. Maybe I ought to stay. Don't worry, Jimmy. You go to school. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Hello, Pasquale. Hello, Jimmy. Goodbye, Mr. Pasquale. Goodbye, boss. Study harder, Jimmy. Maybe one day you go to Electoral College. Ah, he's a fire boy. And you look a fire too. The answer is no. I didn't even ask you anything. You know the answer. You're going to ask me to marry Rosa. The answer is no. You think a rose is the only thing out of my mind? No, you are out of my mind. Today I'm just a full of love for everybody, even you. No hard feelings, only sweet. And I've got to prove it to you. Tonight I'm going to give you a vacation. Where do I go? Yes, I ask you. If somebody says to you, Luigi Basco, you choose any place you like to go to in Chicago tonight? What do you say? Who asked me? Well, suppose. It's like in a storybook. When you was a little bambino. Good fairies ask you. Then I go to a beautiful palace downtown. Buy popcorn and while I eat the popcorn I see a movie. Ha, ha. It's even better. How would you like to go to the opera tonight? Opera? Oh, Pasquale, I don't hear opera since I live in Italy. You like opera? It's a foolish question. Is it like asking you if you like money? All right. Here's two tickets for the opera. Free? How much? That's a matter for you. Why are you so suspicious? Here, you hold the tickets. Okay, Pasquale. Fine. Now you find a nice girl and you take her to the opera. Okay, I call up Mrs. Spaulding. That's a nice girl. If I give you two tickets and I say find a nice girl, I'm gonna mean a Spaulding. I'm gonna mean a Rosa. Then no more talk about a marriage. Okay, no more talk about a marriage. We talk about opera. Okay? See, what opera is it? Marriage of Figaro. There you go again. That's the name of the opera. That's a matter for you. Go to opera here, take a Rosa. Here's the two tickets. If I take a Rosa, then I need three tickets. Okay, okay. So Rosa, she's a little fat. What else have you got against her? Nothing. Then why don't you marry my baby? I'm in no position to marry. So you're changing your position? You don't understand. First place, I owe you $800. Forget it. It's very easy for me to forget. The trouble is that you always remind me. Now, at today... Then I have a little store. It's just big enough for me and Jimmy. I build you a new store. I even buy you new antiques. Isn't that right? I don't want your money. Please, Sir Luigi, don't let my money stand in the way. Even if I love a Rosa, I don't marry her. I can't even afford to buy a girl a little present. You marry Rosa, she'd give you a little present. Look, Pascuali, all over the world is a custom. If a fellow's going to marry a girl, he'd give her engagement ring. I don't believe in engagement. With a me, get right down at the business. Put on a wedding ring. I don't have the money for even a wedding ring. I'll buy you one. No. The wife of Teresa, she'll end you hers. She's aware of the long enough. I'm a much-to-blige. No, Pascuali, I don't marry Rosa unless I have to. Is this your final statement of my service? Yes. Absolutely positive final statement? Yes. Then give me back my tickets. No marriage to Rosa, no marriage to Figaro. Huh. That Pascuali, he's so angry he don't even close the door. Well, it's a nice day. Maybe I catch a little bit of air. Out of my way, bud! Well, excuse me, mister. You don't see me, huh? He must be in a big hurry. Hey, mister, you dropped something. Hey! Mamma mia, you dropped a diamond ring. Excuse me, lady. I find the ring so I like to advertise in your newspaper here. Yes. Please, I'd like to see the boss, Mr. Greeley. Who? Mr. Greeley. I don't have any, Mr. Greeley. But it's say up there, how is Greeley? Founder. Oh, back, Mr. Greeley. He's not connected with us anymore. What is it you want? See this ring? Mmm, it's a honey. It's a diamond. I find it in front of my store. And I might teach him a sporting. She say advertiser, so now I can... Well, advertising department to your right. Right. What can I do for you, sir? I like to put an ad in your paper. Oh, good, good. How much space would you like? I think one page is plenty. A page, yes. Well, won't you sit down? Thank you. May I have your name? Pasco, Luigi Pasco. Well, mine is Randall. Hello. What is the nature of your business, Mr. Pasco? All the new antics, also statues, a colonial furniture. And where are you located? Next door to Pasquale Spaghetti Palace. Where is that? Next door to me. Any credit or banking references? What do you mean? Well, I mean, do you want to be billed for this or will you pay cash? Oh, I pay cash. A page, that will be $3,000. $3,000? I don't know. It costs us so much. I don't think I'd take a page. Well, how much would you like to spend? $1,500 or $1,000? A little less. Well, then how much would you like to spend? $2. What'd you say? $2. Yes. Yes, that's what I thought you said. What's the matter? Are you angry? No, no, no, no, no. I never lose my temper, no. Well, it's all right. If you lose temper, all you have to do is put an ad, and you find it again. Thanks. How big is this ad? One inch. Now, what do you want to advertise? I find the ring today, and I want to give it a back. A lost and found ad? Just a found. Other fell a loss. It might happen to you sometime. Why, why didn't you say so in the first place? This is first place I come to. All right, all right, now what? What, uh, what kind of a ring is it? Here. An engagement ring? See. I see all right. You don't understand. When I say see, this means yes. Yes, I understand. But when I say see, this means a look. Whichever it is, what do you want to say in this ad? Ladies and gentlemen, if somebody lose engagement ring, please come and see Luigi Basco, all the new antiques at 21, not the whole set street. Open night and day, no appointment necessary. Only two blocks are from elevated station. Walk to corner. You want to say all that for two dollars? No. How can we fit all that in a one inch ad? Use the small letters. Well, one inch ad wouldn't hold more than about a dozen words. Then what I say? Well, let me see. Ring found in front of 21 North Paulstead Street called Luigi Basco. This is the first time I have a name on American newspaper. Maybe I'll spend more money. Take a more space. Well, for four dollars, Mr. Basco, I can give you a two inch ad. On the front page? And I suppose you'd like us to run your picture for the same price. Good. That's a good idea, Mr. Randall. Never so much I expect in America. Look, look, Mr. Basco, for two inches you get 25 words in the classified ad section. Now will you please dictate it to me? Then say Luigi Basco, 21 North Paulstead Street, the dealer in New Underused Antiques. You can drop that. Drop what? The antique stuff. If I drop antique stuff it'll break. No, I mean omit. Omit? Yes, leave out. Why? Well, the antique stuff takes up too much room. Oh, no, I got a bigger store. Mr. Basco, please finish that ad. Remember now, 25 words. All right. Luigi Basco. Okay, that's two words. 21 North Paulstead Street. That's six words. Who owns antique store? Ten words. Found a diamond ring. 13. Remember, 25 words. If owner tell me, inside says John to marry Winnetka, 1,946, I return the ring. 26 words. Mr. Basco won too many. Then make it 1,945. Mr. Basco! No, never mind. Never mind. I'll do it myself. Here we go. There we are, 25 words. What word do you take out? Winnetka. Oh, no, he's in my favor at the word. But you must lose some word. Okay, I'll show you how to get it. Take out my name. Look, look, Mr. Basco. There's a fine newspaper across the street. There are competitors. We hate them. There's two dollars on my own. It's my lunch money. You go over there and give them the ad. Oh, oh, thank you, Mr. Randall. But I give you my business. And here's my two dollars. Yes. Well, thank you. And if you ever find anything again, keep it. No. Oh, no. Honesty isn't the best of policy. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Hello, Basco Ali. Where you been? No, it's a paper office. What before? Have you ever seen a fella like you always ago in a summer new place? It's like this, Basco Ali. I explain to you. I find a ring. You find a ring? This morning a fella bumped into me. He dropped a ring and he ran away. So you gave it to a newspaper? No. My teacher, Miss Spaulding, she said, if you find the ring, you advertise in the paper. Same time also advertising my business. Free. What kind of ring? This one. Hey, that's a beautiful engagement ring. Sure. Where you find it? In front of my store. Oh, I don't care. I care. Who's your landlord? You. Well, if you find it in front of my property, then we go 50-50, eh? I don't argue. If fella give me money, I give you half. I'm only fooling you, Luigi. Who's interested in the money? You. No. No, Luigi. It's a common time when a happiness is more important than money. Basco Ali, you feel all right? No. Do what I think. I'm old man, Luigi. I'm already living my life. Pretty soon, I say goodbye to you. Goodbye, Basco Ali. Don't be in such a hurry. Then I, then I wait. How would you like to do one little favor for poor Basco Ali before he's a kick in the bucket, eh? Please, Basco Ali. You make me very sad. Luigi, you're my countryman. I do you favor by bringing you over. Now? Now maybe you do me one favor before I say goodbye. I try, Basco Ali. For one little second, put that ring on a rose's finger. You're just a plain dead, Basco Ali. You try to fool me. I don't fool you, Luigi. I just want to see with my own eyes how Rose is a looker when she's aware of her own engagement with the ring. Then I die happy. Is it a promise? I give you my word. What do you say? But, Basco Ali, girl's name on the ring is Mary. That's an old problem. Mary, Mary. Rosa, Rosa. Come out to here and bring your finger with you. Looker, who's to hear, Rosa? Hello, Luigi. Hello, Rosa. Go ahead, Luigi. Put on the ring. Okay, Basco Ali, but you promised Rosa to take it right off. Please, Luigi. I'm a diet. So am I. Put on a third finger left hand. Can't tell a difference. Is it too bad, Basco Ali? The ring doesn't fit. Stop breathing, Rosa. Now both of us sit together. Push. Okay. Now you can breathe again. Go. I do your papa favor. I make all men happy, Rosa. I feel it 20 years of young already, my son. Mama mia. Now you two is engaged. Engaged? Is there no time to laugh, Rosa? Is it your ring, Luigi, no? No. You find it, it's yours, that's the law. I find the real owner. You the real owner, my son. Rosa, give me back the ring. Put a ring on a Rosa's fingers with my own eyes. That's enough for me. Please, Rosa, stop breathing. I pull off the ring. What's the difficulty? The ring. She's a stuck. So are you, my son. For the second act of Luigi Basco's adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. So mama mia, I'm in a bigger trouble. Basco Ali took me into putting ring on a Rosa's finger. Now ringer wants to come off. It's like trying to pull a cow out of a milk bottle. So Basco Ali is very happy. Like if they say in America, he got me over barrel. If ring don't come off Rosa's finger, then I must marry barrel. Now with the Rosa attached, owner no have to give me reward. I give honor reward. Well, pretty soon now you're going to lead my Rosa down the bridal path. Basco Ali, I'm not going to marry Rosa. You give a Rosa ring and you engage. But it was not to my ring, Basco Ali. If nobody shows up, it's your ring. So what? Put the two and the two together. What do you got? Rosa. Look, don't worry, Luigi. Maybe now you don't love Rosa. But when you marry her, she's a grow out of you. I'm not a flower part of Basco Ali. I put the ring on Rosa only to do your favor. That's right. That's what I tell everybody. Luigi Basco do me a bigger favor. He's a marion of my Rosa. You're not right to tell a people lie. Okay, you don't want to marry Rosa. Take her back to the ring. I can't. So you see, it's a truth. And don't worry, my son, pretty soon you believe it too. And I already make a plan for the wedding. It's going to be the biggest wedding anybody's ever had in this neighborhood. People's are going to talk about it for years. This is because I'm not going to be there. You're going to be there. You'll be there all right. All dressed up like a dummy in a window. Black coat, stripes and pants. And Rosa, she's going to be dressed in a white. Listen, Luigi, my wife, Teresa, she's now cooking up a smaller family dinner for tonight. I'll be back in a half an hour. I'm not going. Then Rosa's a comer for you. Instead of you carrying her over the threshold, Mamma mia, I'm in a bigger trouble. Oh, here come a customer. Is this 21 North Halstead Street? See? You Luigi Basko? See? Okay, cough up that ring. Please, mister. I'm not the swallow ring. And hand it over. You see my ad in the paper? Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, quit gathering. How I know is it your ring? I'm the guy you bumped into. Excuse me, you bumped into me, then I hollered. Okay, okay, okay, come on, let's hit that ring. First, you identify. What it say inside the ring? John to Mary Winnetka, 1946. Oh, you, John? No, I'm Mary. Come on, get going, Buster. We'll have trouble. Got plenty of trouble already. If you're smart, you'll get rid of that hunk of ice fast. It's hot. Hot ice? Yes, yes. Come on, stop stalling. You're talking to little Luigi. I don't have a ring. Rosa, she's got it. Rosa, who's she, the fence? She's the whole backyard. Come on, now, cut that double talk. Please, you're choking me. It's just like this, Mr. Little Lloyd. I show Pasquale the ring and he said to me... Now, look, cut the conversation. I want that ring or you'll wind up in cement. Mamma mia, you're a sculptor. No wisecracks. Come on, come on, where's the ring? I don't have it. It's on a girl's finger. And get it off her. Please, give me a little time. I'll give you 15 minutes. If that ring ain't here then, bud, you're dead. Thank you. Pasquale. Luigi, that's a matter. You're shaking her like a spaghetti in a hot water. Luigi! Luigi, I'm in a plenty of hot water. Pasquale, owner of the ring was adjusting to my store. I don't believe in this. So what does he want? Ring. Please, Pasquale, he must take a ring off Rosa's finger. Oh, no, no. I don't trust you, Luigi. Once you take off, you'll never put him out again. It's a very mean fellow, Pasquale. If I don't have a ring at 15 minutes, I'm dead. And then Rosa be widowed even before she's a married. That's pretty bad for you. Please, Pasquale, I don't want to die before I get a citizen of papers. That's a foolish talk. It's not illegal for a dead man at the vote. Pasquale, you must pull a ring from Rosa's finger. It's easier to pull a lake of Michigan from a Chicago. But I help you, Luigi. How? When a man is a comer for the ring, if he don't find the ring, maybe he's to take the money. But I don't got the money. Luigi, I lend you the money. I don't want a condition. Okay. I marry Rosa. Here you are, my son. Give the man $100. That's a plenty for a ringer like that. What do you say, my son? Thank you, Papa. Hey, look. Here's the Jimmy coming home from school. Hello, Mr. Pasquale. Hello, boss. Hello, Jimmy. Soon are you going to be a flower girl. Ha, ha, ha. What did Pasquale mean by that? He means soon are you going to be flower boy. Huh? Yes, Jimmy. I'm going to marry Rosa. Oh, no, boss. Oh, yes, Jimmy. How did Pasquale hook you? Here's the long story, Jimmy. I'm going to ring it today. Ring? You know about it? Well, not about the one you found. But here's something in this afternoon's paper. Listen to this. Hendrick's home rod. Bandits escaped with famous jewelry collection. Diamond ring stolen, valued at $20,000. What else to say, Jimmy? Inside the ring, there's an inscription. Married to John Winnetka. 1946. Mama mia. Hey, boss, how did you know that? Quickly, Jimmy, call up with the police. Put that phone down. Who are you? Detective Iran. You got a wonderful police department. Very good service. Now, never mind the wisecracks. Search a joint, Tom. Right, Harry. So you're Luigi Bosco. Yes, sir, Mr. Policeman. Are you packing a rod? I'm not in a rod of packing a business. Now, where's that ring, Mr. Bosco? I know God. Look, we just picked up little Louis, so you might as well come clean. Nothing in there except some old furniture. You looking in the backyard? Yeah. Find anything? About 30 Dewey statues. Say, I sell them to your chief. Who helped you pull that big job? Big job? Stop stalling. Only big job I know is the Rosa. Rosa? Who's Rosa? The brains of the mob? She looked like the whole mob. Yeah, what'd you do with the ring? Please, I tell you a whole story. Take this down, Tom. Shoot, Luigi. You shoot a Luigi and I can't tell him my story. This... this is morning. I find a ring out to the side of my store. Look, little Louis told us all about it. Hey, Luigi, did the fella come in for the money? Not yet. Oh, that's a ring. It's a look. It's so beautiful. Out of Rosa, it's a figure. Oh, yeah? Who's this guy? That's the Pasquale. Who'd you say was wearing the ring? My little girl, Rosa. Oh, so you're in on this, too. Hey, why are you asking so many questions? We're from the police department. Well, I'm a no-buy, no-tickets to the policeman's aboard. Pasquale, please. Are you talking too much? He'll talk more downtown. Tom, get the girl, Rosa. Maybe the gang will talk to the chief. The chief? Mamma mia, they still got Indians in a Chicago. Here they are, Mr. District Attorney. Now, you, Mr. Basko, and you, too, Mr. Pasquale, you'd better listen to me carefully. See. Now, I've read the statements you two men gave the police and I don't believe a word of it. I'd say the truth to Mr. D.A. I swear, if I'm a lion, I hope for Luigi's a drop dead. But it's only your fault, Pasquale. I tell you, no, try the ring on Rosa's finger. You say try. If you marry my Rosa a long time ago, this is down a half. Stop that private argument. You're going to talk yourselves into a long prison sentence. Please, Mr. Attorney, I'm an honest citizen. He's a no-citizen. But when I get to my papers, I'm honest a citizen. Now, I'm just honest to Luigi. I do everything like a law says. Law says I don't step on a grass. Luigi don't step on a grass. Sinus says I don't feed animals. Luigi don't feed animals. Sinus says one-way street. I walk one-way. Sinus says don't cross the street. So I'm in this country one a year and I've never been on the other side of the street yet. All of my life, I only want to be in this country. I understand, Mr. Vassal. But this whole thing is incredible. I don't understand how a man like Mr. Pasquale can go to such lengths to get his daughter married. If you see my little baby, you understand. Bring her in, Horan. Rosa! Rosa! Now I understand. Make them out, Horan. No charges. Thank you, Mr. Dispicatani. Thank you. You do me a big favor. I do your favor. What? Now on, Mr. Dispicatani, I always listen to your radio show. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production and is written by Highcraft and Cy Howard and stars J. Carol Nash as Luigi Bosco with Alan Redis Pasquale, music by Wilbur Hatch. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.