 Manipulation is a pretty serious issue. A lot of people are entirely innocent and unsuspecting. They take people for their words and don't assume that others would want to pray on them. That's the problem with the world. People don't treat you right simply because you are a good person. You have to be wary of manipulators. The world is full of them. According to a world-winning Canadian journalist, Malcolm Gladwell, in his renowned book Talking to Strangers, our preting assumption is that the people we are dealing with are honest. He calls it the truth-default theory. It is not bad to be nice and kind to people and expect a similar response from them. The trouble is that some people may want to exploit your niceness. Have you ever had a partner or a friend who you feel so powerless around? It is as though they take and take from you and make you feel guilty for complaining about their behavior. Sounds familiar? These are the types of people you can call manipulators. They study other people to know their weaknesses and they exploit it to their advantage. They are selfish and only want to be in a relationship as long as it continues to profit them. You really do not need this type of people in your life. In today's video, we are going to share with you 9 signs that show you are being manipulated by someone or several people. One, you can't seem to remember why you made decisions that favor others. One typical sign that you are being manipulated is when you cannot even remember why you made your decision. This shows that it was not clearly thought out. You need to be clear-headed to an extent when making decisions in order to remember them. If someone who in a beat to sell you a product or get something from you does things or says things that makes you give them what they want, they exploited you and the manipulators. If you feel this way after dealing with someone, it is probably a good idea to avoid the person. Chances are they might try another stunt on you if you hang around. If the person is your friend, you can confront them. Sometimes this becomes a habit and is natural with some people. Either way, whoever does this is selfish and a selfish person isn't someone you want to spend a lot of your time with. Two, you question decisions after you have made them. Sometimes it may not even be that you don't recall why you made a decision. You may just think you shouldn't have made it. So many people are being manipulated and many of them don't even know it. A manipulator can twist your words to suit their purpose. They can also plant thoughts in your head and make it seem like all your mistakes were your ideas. Some manipulators can actually do something and use an indirect threat of violence to coerce you to do it while saying that you didn't have to after you have accepted to do it. So many people regret their decisions daily and yet keep making them in order not to be seen as bad people or not caring and so on. To make a clean break from manipulation, one of the key ways to this starts from learning how to say no. No one will kill you for refusing to do something they want. As long as you don't feel comfortable doing it, you have every right to refuse. Three, you are hastened into making decisions all the time. Have you ever felt like your life is spiraling out of control? You make plans and unmake them. Make some more and unmake them all over again. Check the people around you. You may be a victim of exploitation. Unfortunately, many people avoid conversations around manipulation because they trust their partners and their co-workers and accepting such a cruel reality can be depressing. It can make them feel betrayed and used. No one wants to feel that way. It is easier to hold on to the lie than accept this truth. Four, you feel obligated to do things for someone. Do you feel like you owe someone a whole lot and that debt would never be paid? Take a minute. Think about this. Would someone who helped you genuinely indirectly ask you to repay them for helping you? Manipulators can sometimes pretend to be nice while having a motive. They usually try to read the victim to see if the victim is the average nice person that feels favours should be replayed. Once you feed the profile, they will start doing new favours. Mind you, the manipulators seldom request favours commensurate with what they have done for you. They always ask for something higher. The goal is to guilt-trip you into doing what they want because you do not want to appear ungrateful. To rise above this type of manipulation, you simply have to thank the person for the favour he did you in the past while telling him that you are not in a position at the moment to help him with what he is asking. You are under no obligation to please anyone. People do other solids all the time. While it is a social norm to return favours, it is not an obligation. Many people have borrowed money to help pay for a friend's sick relative that does not exist in the name of obligation. As long as the manipulator knows you are gullible, they will try to milk you for what you are worth. 5. You are under mental pressure from people all the time. People let others put them under pressure. Have you sat down for just 5 minutes to really ask yourself why you are under pressure? Is it because someone told you they need some money for a business? And then you worry yourself about how you will raise it because you are dating them. People who exploit others make them mental slaves and mental slavery is one of the worst types of slavery there is. You are not obligated to ensure everyone's dream, work, no matter who they are to you. Your mental health is very important. If you don't learn to identify these signs, you will likely suffer from depression and self-doubt. It doesn't matter who is involved. If the person is your spouse, they should know better. Do you deserve to be treated the way you are treated? Does anyone deserve to be manipulated? The answer is a big no. Confident people come out plainly. If they want to be with you, they tell you. If they want a partnership, they tell you plainly. Being plain and open gives others an actual choice. Whatever decision they come to is entirely their own. When people are manipulated, their decisions may no longer be their own. You feel a lot of guilt over not doing what someone else wants. Someone who is exploiting you will always make you feel guilty for not agreeing and not considering all the things that have happened in the past. In fact, the goal is to always be right and have you feel guilty for opposing the manipulator's rightness in the first place. If it is a marriage, the manipulating party will use this to ensure only what they want in the family is done. This actually makes a relationship very unhealthy. One of the possible partners can start to feel distant. You are asked to prove your affection. Some manipulators actually go as far as using the affection or love card in a tight situation. The manipulating party in trying to get what they want may even bring in affection. Some in more romantic relationship sometimes ask their partners to prove their love. Guys, if anyone wants you to prove your love, it is probably time to put on your antenna. Love is not something you can prove because it is intangible. Whether or not you prove it, it doesn't make love any less love. Please, do not try proving your love. Someone who loves you may not need you to prove you love them by doing a specific action. Doing that is limiting love by giving it a reason. If the partner in question were to have a reason why he loves you, it means that once whatever it is is no longer there, the manipulator's love will go with it. 8. People are always so kind to you. If people are too nice, watch them closely. They may have an agenda. This attitude may make you appear distrustful and have collateral damage to genuinely nice people around you. But it takes time to differentiate them. Do what you can, but be alert. 9. People make jokes about your weaknesses. Some manipulators may tease you overgrown abnormality or any of your weaknesses. They try to make it appear as though they are joking and when you peek off fans, they will tell you that you are taking it too seriously. Whatever type of manipulator you may be dealing with, you can survive them all. Try to read people and get a second opinion from neutral thought parties over the people you do business with. It gets better with time.