 Did Babu talk about Samson being the strongest man in the Bible? That was incorrect. Delilah was. Did she beat him up? No. She gave him some kuchen, she cut his head. That's all. Right? So again, when we can get back to the essence of who we are as people and women understand it's about persuasion. It's about seduction. Listen, it's the message right here, black boy tell me how you really feel, cause I just want to build with you, black girl tell me how you really feel, I want to keep it real with you, I want to live better, eat better, I want to love better, sleep better, yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Do you believe in monogamy? Cause you don't seem like it, based on your responses. Yes. Can men be faithful? Yes. Let me hear your answer. Do I believe in monogamy? Yes. I think it's a beautiful thing. I think it's very effective for child rearing. I think you can make an argument that polygamy is effective as well or less effective, more effective. I think that's a conversation. But I do believe in monogamy. Can men be faithful? Yes. There's a caveat here. After he's grown up. Okay. You know, coming to America where he was like, you got a soul, your royal oats, that's some real shit. You feel like that's necessary. I'm gonna be completely honest, that's some real shit. Like the reason why a lot of dudes have that midlife crisis is because they weren't able to be young. They weren't able to be young men and go out here and risk their lives, whatever the fuck. So, you know, when it comes to like stages in life, I think that's a necessary stage. And what's complicated again for men is that typically, as men get older, we get more desirable. Right? We get more money, more status. We get this distinguished look, our beard starts to connect to some women even like gray hairs. So it's like, I'm becoming sexier to the dating market. But you're telling me I got to lock away the juice. I just got the juice. You don't have this shit since you were 14, right? So for a lot of women, the juice isn't valuable because every time I've been going to the gas station since 13 and niggas have always been googly eye to me versus nigga, I just started at 35 years old. I'm just now getting women in my house. So, but if you're a man who's like, you've experienced it, you know what I'm saying? You've been there, done that, it doesn't really faze you. I think then, you know, monogamy is possible. Yeah. But again, like I said before, men want to be faithful. We want to. You believe that inherently, that's what they want. Absolutely. Okay. I think, but the separation is ... Or Kelly, my mind is telling me, but my mind, yeah. I think there's the separation like our minds and our hormones and stuff are in conflict. But men want to do the right thing. I think there are steps though along that way, but yeah, I believe in monogamy. Okay. Okay. Are you surprised by that answer? A little bit. Some of your other answers is seeing like, well, there's these ones. It's not a one. It's like I'm compatible with a lot of people. Like it did kind of give a polygamy, polyamory desire there a little bit, but I take you for your word. Yeah. That's the thing. I've even done panels. Okay. I think polygamy is a worthwhile conversation. Really? Whether or not polygamy is for me is a separate thing, but I think it's a worthwhile conversation because going back to the same girl from Grapevine, she said that a polygamous society actually benefits women and a monogamous society benefits men. Here's why. Women are hypergamous. Whether we like it or not, it's something we can't change. Women are biologically predisposed because you have a finite number of potential people you can make. You're biologically predisposed to find the best possible male of your species to give those eggs to and to procreate. With that being said, of course, women are going to be choosy. I'm risking my life to clone you, of course, I'm going to be choosy. So she was saying in a polygamous society, you and you and you and you can all choose LeBron James. Or you and you and you and you can choose Elon Musk. So you can scratch that itch of getting the best possible man you can get versus in a monogamous society, oh, Elon is gone, so I have to go down a little bit. So even the plumbers make good money. Even the garbage guys make good money, but just for the sake of this, right? The Jetter, he's going to get, he's kind of guaranteed a woman, right? Because they're more, you know, eligible women biologically. Yeah, you parent them off and somebody's going to be left for him. So I think from a societal standpoint, from a black community standpoint, I think you couldn't make an argument for, all right, we need to replicate our nuclear physicists and our, you know, contributing members and intellects and things like that. I think that is, I don't know if we can go back to that because I know where people come from polygamy, but I don't know if, like, in a modern era, we can actually go back to that, but I'm not as dismissive of it as most people. OK, here's a question. What do you think women can do to make men commit quicker? Because we all know what Kevin Samuels was saying about men know in, you know, in six months and you shouldn't be waiting longer than X amount of time and all this. And I believe it. I believe men do know very quickly, quicker than six months, for sure. I think men know rather quickly if they, what their intentions are, what they want, what their end goal is with women. But that doesn't mean that they act on it when they know. Because, again, it's not about you. That's I think that's the at the foundation of understanding it is understanding it's about him. Is he who he wants to be? Is he ready to be a husband? Is he ready to be a father? Right. And I know, obviously, I'm a testament to that. Some of those things happen when you're not necessarily ready. Yeah. But you could be a wonderful woman, but if he's not ready, it doesn't matter. So then your advice, if this was your daughter, you would tell her to do what in a situation? So number one, right? Unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, I don't know. Women already like a man who can teach them something. Right. But you're going to have to date above your age. Right. I'm not a fan of significant age gaps. Like my parents are like 12 years apart. Oh, are they? I thought she was weird as fuck. So I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan at all of that. But I think there are some some some men who are going to be relatively quick and eager to marry. Typically, those aren't the men women want. For the men that women want, either you have to get them after they've created the version of themselves that they're happy with. Like right after. Yeah. Or sometimes you can look out and be such an asset to him that, you know, he's like, I can't lose her. You see what I'm saying? But typically, and I'm like in that age range. But typically, you're just about ready if the right one come. Well, the right one. He's just picked from the ones. I got a couple years. But, you know, but typically, it's about the dude, you know what I'm saying? It's about the dude and what he's ready for. But again, I don't want to seem like I'm minimizing women's power. But this whole turning future to Russell Wilson shit, we better try to that's not going to work. I used to have the right raw materials. Yeah. Yeah. Although I will say I've always believed that for certain I do. I do believe certain women have the ability to shift men's behavior if it's the right, like, I don't know. I think it's if there is when you think about it, like a chemistry experiment or something, the right chemicals, the right elements, I think together, like the right man. And I think there is a woman that can change every man. I think there is a woman that has the ability to do that for every man that is acting out by change, like bring out the best version of him. I think there is a woman because we like we've all seen it. Where he was out playing around and this, that and a third. And then he came across her and then his whole life shifted. And he I can, I can agree with that. But the only reason why I won't or I won't like put it on a megaphone is that that is an anomaly. Exactly. Right. So but a lot of us like to latch on to an anomaly. I agree with that. And think that we are that woman. I agree. Mostly 99 percent of y'all watch it. Exactly. I think there may be a man that you are capable of bringing that out of. But is that the one that you're trying to bring that out of? Probably not. But I think most especially you talk to, I think I would say a good portion of married men, they would say that their wife has brought out a better version of them or she has done this, that and a third. So I don't think that's a farfetched idea that that's what happens when you meet someone that is a good fit for you, that a better version of you comes out. I would take that with a grain of salt because this. And this is to our credit, our generation's credit, this environment that we're navigating is unique to anything that the Gen Xers or the fucking baby boomers have ever had to deal with. We've had we have more options than they've ever had. You know, your uncle had the baddest bitch in town. I got you got to compete with bad bitches all over the world on Instagram. Right. So it's a different. And I think because of that, there were things that were able to work back then. And motherfuckers get married at 20 and shit like that. I feel like I'm 20 now and I'm 29. Right. You see what I'm saying? Like adolescents are so much longer. Muffers don't feel grown until later on in life. So it's a different. It's a different landscape that we're trying to navigate. So I don't know if all the advice of some of our elders is valid right now, because this shit is different. No, I agree with that. I do agree with that. But I do think and I think it's with any any relationship. I think even friendships, your friends, good friends, bring out better versions of you. I think when you're paired with people that are a good fit for you, it does manifest and create a better version of you because you want to do better. And when you're in connection with good people, you just want to be better. I feel and then you just you get like a a surge of inspiration or something to just be better. Sure. But there should be a value added to the other person, too. I think most relationships that are healthy are also reciprocal. Exactly. But if you're if if people go in saying because I think at its unhealthiest, that's where the rehabilitation mindset comes from, you know, because, yes, he might not be everything that I want, but I know that he can be. But he's doing all this for me and he's benefiting me in these ways. I'm learning from him. I'm growing with him in the whole night. Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah. But for some people, that's not the case. It's just I'm coming in with my gloves and my tools and I'm going to fix this and I'm taking care of him and I'm his second mom and whatever else. So from that perspective, you can't raise a man. You can't build a man. You can like nudge him to inches this way or two inches that way. But this whole he was this and I turned him in. I just don't think that's even a worthwhile. Like just don't even try because I just think then you end up in a situation where you're just you're poor. You've poured so much and then you're bitter if it doesn't work out. Yeah, like I feel like I used to say this. You have to calculate your risks. So if you're not going to be OK with the worst case scenario, like just don't even do that. Because worst case scenario sometimes is I loved him and I poured this into him. And then he was this great man that I wanted, but he was that for someone else. And there are some cases where you might love someone enough to want the best for them, even if it's not you. But if you don't feel that way, don't do that. Like don't do that with the intention of like and he has to be with me in the end. Like he needs to be me. Like do it because you want him. You love him and you want him to be better. And that sets you apart. Right. That gets because like it was that in the song. If he ever left me, I wouldn't even be sad. Because he's a blessing in every lesson. Right. Like a lot of unfortunately, a lot of us like we have that anxious attachment style where like somebody owes us something. Yeah. And because of that, even the ways that we move, people talk about vibes, energies, it's different. It feels very needy. It feels very entitled and manipulative, manipulative, right? Versus there's mutual benefit in us being in community and communication and sex, whatever we decide to do. If it doesn't work out, you're such a good person that I wish you the best and that you were a net positive to my life. Yeah. And that's the problem is that it's there's again, unclear expectations. If your expectation is that you're doing these things and he needs to marry you, then you need to have like there needs to be a plan for that, like not just one day he'll see my value and he's going to choose me. I'm all about setting actual deadlines and communicating. Like I understand that we've been dating for, you know, three months. We need to put a title on it or we need to go our separate ways. And if you're not ready, that's fine. But this is a boundary that I have. This is an expectation that I have in order to have access to me. I can't control you. And that's what sometimes men will say that because it makes it seem like it women feed into it when they say this, like, I don't want to be controlled and I don't want to be forced to do this and that there I'm not controlling you. I'm controlling me. This is what's required to have access to me. This is this is why femininity is so powerful. And I think it's it's it's under appreciated how powerful it is. And when I tell women, you have more control than you realize. A lot of women try to compete with men on on a masculine playing field. So like men, it's about domination and force. Women try to dominate and force men to do dot, dot, dot versus persuasion and seduction. Right. Even like, biblically, the Bible talks about Samson being the strongest man in the Bible. Yeah, that was incorrect. Delilah was. Did she beat him up? No. She gave him some cookies. She cut his head. That's all. Right. So again, like when when when we can get back to the essence of who we are as people and women understand it's about persuasion. Yeah, it's about seduction. So not necessarily like it's funny. There was this dating coach, his white dude's name is Matthew Hussie. And I've heard of him. You have? I think I have. You probably have. He's like Australian. The last name sounds familiar. Yeah, he's an Australian or British. But a woman asked him, like, you know, how does he feel about women shooting their shot of dudes? And he was like, women have always shot their shot of dudes. Like, this shit ain't new. And he was like, what do you mean? There's never been a time when there have been hollering at dudes. He said, he said, no. But there was a time when women would drop the handkerchief. You'd walk past a guy who would just mistakenly drop your handkerchief and literally leave the ball at his court to come up to you and give you your handkerchief back and say, and spark it. So again, that's not going up to the hey, shout out to doing, you know, my name is Delilah. You know, it's it's about the seduction piece is about the nuance of it. But again, I think I don't want to start talking about white supremacy today. But I think part of what happened was on your brain. Man, listen, I think what happened is our women have been encouraged to be more masculine and to be more domineering and forceful. And you've kind of lost the essence of the seduction and the persuasion. So a lot of women don't know how to drop handkerchief. So they think it's all up to the guy. It's more it's more up to you than you realize. I agree with that. And I think the way that you said with men, it's like the domination and like control. I think women's power is in backing up, like removing themselves. So I think even like in the handkerchief situation, they dropped it and then they let it go, like you leave it alone. It's not or when you talk about persuasion and stuff, people talk about it in sales. That you have the most power when you stop talking as a salesman, when you're willing to walk out of the dealership or, you know, disconnect from the sale. Like that's when you have the most power. It's the same with women. So I'm not going to force you. I'm not going to stay. Say we're like living together. I'm not going to stay in the house, be in the bed, all this stuff. Telling you, beating you over the head, saying you need to marry me. You need to marry. I need to leave the house and then let you understand what it's like when I'm not there. Come on. Yes. And I don't that doesn't require me to say anything else to you because I have to have the knowledge and understanding that I have shown you what I can show. And now I'm done doing that. I've given you all the exhibits exhibit A, B, C, D through Z that I can show you. It's up to you now to make a decision. So you still have the power to decide for yourself. But again, I get to make the decision on what's required to have access to me. Yeah. And either way, to the point earlier, either way, it's a one win. Because number one, either you weren't as valuable to him as you thought. Yeah. Or number two, he wasn't as adept in evaluating value like you thought. Exactly. So then I would have sat there and continued to try to prove something to someone that can't see it and it's not meaning anything to them. So now when removing myself, I get him a chance to find someone that gives value in a way that he can see. Come on. And then I get to go somewhere where my value will be received, understood and evaluated properly. Women don't understand that, though. It's a fear that like if I'm not there and I leave, he's going to go find he is going to find someone else, but in him finding someone else, that gives him the opportunity to evaluate. So if he chooses her, then did you want him? If it was that easy for him to choose her? Or do you not believe in your contribution enough to understand that if you leave, he will miss you? In any case, he got to go and you got to go. Right. Well, and I think what makes it complicated is a lot of us would rather be, let's say, Cam Newton instead of Tom Brady. Tom Brady went in the sixth or seventh round of the NFL draft. He is not the greatest football player of all time. He wasn't flashed. He wasn't coming out of college with all this hype like a Cam Newton. Yeah. Right. But you know, we see all the bad bitches on TV and I just want to be like her own. We flew out this, this, this, that, not realizing a lot of that stuff is not sustainable. So how do you translate it to the young girls coming up? Because that's what I'm concerned about. I think it's that instilling some of those that self worth and like the confidence thing, I think confidence is so important because based on how you allow people to treat you, it tells a lot about how much you think you're worth. I think that that's something that you instill in little girls. And I think so often we tell the girls, like, you're so pretty, you're so cute, you're so, you know, these things. But like, wow, like I tell my niece, like, you are so smart. You are so funny. You are so like, I tell her those things because and then you tell it so funny because she'll be like, mm-hmm. Like she knows that. Like it's not like, oh, I'm smart. It's like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Like I am smart. So I think that that's the important thing because it translates over time because if I understand that I'm all these great things, I'm less likely to put up with anything making me feel like I'm not. So I saw something the other day and I said, there's a difference between how you feel about someone and how someone makes you feel. Oh, talk about it. Yeah, because I can feel like you're great and I can feel like you're smart and you're all of these things and that you have the ability to treat someone well. But if you don't make me feel like I am also smart and I am also, you know, appreciated and all of these different things. It doesn't matter how much I appreciate you if you don't make me feel appreciated. And sometimes we create narratives in our head and we're like, oh, but we fixate on the positive fleeting moments a lot and we allow it sometimes to overpower the consistent negative things that might be happening or maybe not negative because I always say you can be a good person and still not be a good fit for me. Oh, come on. So you may be great, a great fit for someone else. That doesn't mean that you're a great fit for me. And that doesn't mean that anything is wrong with me necessarily. But you may just not, like you said, timing is such a big thing. You may not be in a space mentally or, you know, physically where you're able to receive or appreciate me. And that's fine. That doesn't make you a bad person. And it doesn't make me unworthy. It just means that we're not a good fit for each other. Absolutely.