 The way you are speaking today is a man who has started to live again. That need to give up your life is gone. What I understand now is, we have the soul, we have the Atma, and then the question is like, by your teaching, if first I surrender, then in the end the heart is expanding into the universe, and then we are connected to everything, or to other divine beings or other beings. I have never said something like this, but it sounds very nice. I haven't said it. The reason I came for clarification. Let me reiterate what I've said repeatedly. It's a process which is actually quite simple. So, you take up an I, you take up an identity. So your name is Joachim. That's your identity. Because it's I, I am. That is the I. It's not the I am. Else I would have said it's the I am. It's the I, Joachim, the I. It's not the I am. I am is an entirely different story altogether. Yes. The I am is the identification with presence, living presence or supreme presence. I am that. I am. But I understand that because I surrender to the love, I am love then. When you surrender to the love, or you surrender to the truth, it's a very practical action. This is not fluffy stuff. It's precise and it's clear. So, there is an I that is surrendering to something. What is that something? It is the truth, the soul, the antar-atman, the antar-guru. Your actual Guru is in there. To which you surrender. So then... Let me just repeat it so that it's clear for you. So Joachim is surrendering to his Guru within, which is his antar-guru. What does that mean he's surrendering? It means that when that antar-guru impulses him into action, he goes with the action of that impulse and not with the loud and clamoring and demanding voice of the ego. So in each moment Joachim is discerning. The sadhana or the practice is a practice of discernment. He's discriminating in every second between the soul and the ego. You understand? There is no identification with the soul. I'm in surrender to the source. So now I am the source. I'm in surrender to love. So now I am love. No, you are in surrender to love. So that Joachim, this instrument gradually is simply an instrument of perfection, just acting from moment to moment from the impulse of the soul, from the impulse of the antar-atman. This instrument is not the antar-atman, it is not the soul. I understand, but for example I get the impulse to have a chai and I drink the chai, then I will be in love with the chai and I become one. Because I'm drinking the chai, so I have the experience. Also like the antar-guru is making a decision only and then okay, then I am experiencing whatever. Any action that you undertake from the impulse of this master within, any action will lead to joy and any action you undertake from the ego leads to suffering. This we are clear about, right? That joy that happens is a joy which is experienced by this system. The system is in joy, but the system is not the soul in that moment. It is in surrender. So the whole system is in joy, surrender. You know what I mean? What I understand, I surrender to the chai and then I experience joy. Yes, but you are surrendering not to the chai, you are surrendering to the soul. Yes, first, but I have to surrender to the chai, otherwise I don't drink the chai. So I have to take it inside myself. You only take it inside yourself because this system is acting out of the surrender posture. So the drinking of the tea is an action undertaken because you got a yes from the soul. So you drink it, it's not a matter of should you or shouldn't you, because you've already decided you're going with the impulse. So then you're drinking it anyway. So it's not a matter of surrendering to it. It's a surrender to the soul, which is the point. If you don't drink the tea, then you've gone with ego. I understand. So there's no surrendering to the chai, loving the chai. The love is for the soul, for the antaratman, for the antarguru. From that antarguru, all actions happen or they happen from the ego. If you don't drink the tea, that means the ego has stopped it. I understand. You know what I mean? There's no, I am and I love the chai and I'm surrendering to the chai. The surrender posture is only to the master within. I try to understand what you're saying. Yeah, you can keep on asking me. That's why you're here also, right? Because something I'm saying resonates with you, because you've attended at least 25 satsangs till now or more. So obviously something is resonating and you're trying to find your way to that something. Which is fully fine. You can ask the questions you want to ask. I'm here. You can ask me questions till March 5th. After that, it's a couple of years of no questions. So even in the way I received the meditation also, that was quite good and profound. It's a step by step, a step process. If we have to surrender, also I can surrender to the 5th chakra or the 4th chakra and open those qualities in me which are also God and not me. I experience that and then I am that. Is that correct? No, it's wrong. Because you don't, you are not that which you surrender to. This is a conceptual statement which you have ingrained in your thinking. You've imprinted it in your thinking. When I surrender to something, I am that. No? How? Surrender is an action between one and the other. You surrender to something. I surrender to the commander like the Atma and then I get to know. So if there's an army and one army surrenders to the other army, they become the other army. Why can we not have clarity and simplicity and precision in the spiritual endeavour? Because whenever you leave the system into these semi-Samaadic states, the conceptual loses its ability to be precise. Without a precise conceptual, the actual spiritual experience of this-ness cannot be there. You have to become clear. It's very painful. It's much easier to flow and float. But when you float, life puts you back in the body again. So you can't surrender to a... What is the dynamics of surrender to a chakra? How do you surrender to a chakra? There are some things there, but I'm not speaking today about my other floating experiences. I'm very grateful to you. I try to separate now the topics. If I listen to music of the fifth chakra, I experience this kind of consciousness. So it's also inside my body. Because it's my body, I can try to open up all the chakras and I can experience what is inside my body, which is not me. Certainly you can experience it, but it is also not necessarily an experience of the truth in action. Yeah, I can ask my atma, then I can ask my atma. Exactly. Now you're getting it. So if you talk, your soul is your master, it's your guru. You know, you were asking me, why can't I surrender to you? Why can't I surrender to this guru, that guru? The thing is that the surrender to the guru outside is only a step to that final surrender. And as I said, being a westerner, it's much more difficult to surrender to a living master. So leave it alone, first start to surrender to the atma. Ask the atma, can I go and experience this chakra now? Yeah, I'm practicing already. Then it's all good. If you get a no, you don't. If you get a yes, you do. If the heart chakra has, if the love has to expand, that was like the beginning. So what happens is that as you go more and more into surrender to the soul, each of these chakras basically... So surrender is the way by which the chakras open. The samarpan, the humble surrender opens the chakras up. That is why you would have seen, there were many people who came here in the last days with kundalini, very extreme kundalini experiences. And the moment they move into a surrender state, everything quiets down. It all quiets down because without surrender, the chakras are blocked and they are experienced as pain because when the kundalini starts to push against these chakras, the pain is very extreme in the system. It's excruciating. When there is surrender, humility, surrender, humility, everything quiets down because the chakras open. You understand? Yeah, I understand. But now I see the possibility that I surrender and love to my chakras if I'm not allowed to go outside of my body. See, the surrender is not to the chakras because the chakras are not impulsing entities. The chakras are a symbol for a state of consciousness. Whereas when you are in surrender to the soul, that is when the chakras opens up. When I am connected to my heart, then I can go to all the chakras as I wish and experience this kind of, because probably the heart chakra is anyway like a very important chakra. It's as important as all the others. Each one is equally important. The thing is that you can also go with the ego to the chakras. That's the point. The kundalini shakti will go with your intention. If you're moving with the ego, it will support the ego. If you're moving with the truth, it will support the truth. Mah is what we call kundalini. Mah is an energy which is independent of where you take it. It goes where you take it. So if you're going with the ego into a chakra experience, you'll have an amazing experience, but there won't be joy, finally, because joy arises out of the surrender to the soul. That is why you've been experiencing all these chakras, but you've been miserable all this time. For ten years you've been miserable. That is another story. No, it's not another story. The same story. How is it another story? You were miserable. I'm living now quite a long time. We have to go in just in case by decades. I started my journey with sixteen, so every decade is a totally different. I was just explaining that the problem that was in that decade. That last ten years? Yes, otherwise I have to speak differently. The way you're speaking today is a man who has started to live again. That need to give up your life is gone or it's partially gone? Yeah, but that is... Not yeah, but don't say yeah, but tell me why. Why? Because you came and said that now you don't feel like actually giving up your life, right? No, the story is finished because you solved my blockage. Now I'm free again. I didn't solve your blockage. I just opened you to the possibility of surrender. Now I can meditate. I didn't remove your blockage. What I did was I opened you to the possibility of surrender to the soul. Yes, that I did. So then you were helping me. What I'm trying to tell you is that it is because you have started to open up to surrender to the soul that those ten years of misery and not wanting to live... Now it's finished. It's finished exactly, but it's finished because of this process. Yes, because you're helping me. It's not important who's helping you. It's important that you're doing it. I understand. The process is what we are discussing. Not who has helped whom. You're also helping me by doing it, so that I don't have to take care of you further. You know what I mean. I'm joking, but you understand. The point here we are discussing is what are the processes. Not who helped whom. Yes, that is the reason also why I asked those questions. Yes, that's why I said that until these processes were started by you, you had lost the will to live because you were not in surrender, because the ego was bigger than this room. But now I can discriminate. Yes, and now you better do it. Yes, and don't surrender to the chakras because you can't. The process is not surrendering to the chakras. The process is surrendering to the soul. Did you hear me? Repeat what I said. The process is just to surrender to the soul. No, what did I say? Repeat it again. That is what I... Okay, I'll tell you. I said the process is not about surrendering to the chakras. It's about surrendering to the soul. Which is giving the joy. Yes, that's why you don't want to kill yourself anymore or you don't want to not live anymore. Now you're feeling like, okay, it's kind of something is there to live for. Maybe not all the way, but not because of anything else, but because you started surrendering to the soul, which means that what was happening before was the ego in action. The ego puts those ideas into the head, I don't have anything to live. Yes, it's gone now. So now I have something to live for. Yes, so then do that instead of surrendering to the chakras. That's the deal. You've made a deal with the truth. Now hold up to your end of the deal. Actually, I would like to explore more you as a guru. So then I have also to surrender to you to... No, you have to make a very big Dakshina first. And it's very, very, very big. So maybe you need to collect money for at least the next 10 years. So this next 10 years will be your time of collecting money for the Dakshina. And then after 10 years, we'll think about it. What do you think of that idea? It's a quite long time. I mean, there are people who made people stand on one leg for 10 years and then the guru comes and says, hmm, now you can stand on the other leg for 10 years. Then I'll give you Gnyan. I'm saying only 10 years of Dakshinas. Let's see. So the guru is within, the guru is in the... That's your guru. You understand? If you want to follow this teaching, you can follow it in different ways. You can remember what was said over here, practice it. So that's the way, you know. The way one takes on a guru is, in that one gives into a system. Not that the guru says, I don't, for example, give any Deeksha mantra. For me, it's a play. It's an action of the Shishya and the Guru. And when you do Zeva and when you do Dakshina and when you do Dhan, then you grow into a togetherness with the Sangha. Not a conceptual decision. I'm now a Shishya. This is my guru. I don't think that's the way. You do Dhan, you do Dakshina, you do Seva. You show that there is a connect with the guru and the teaching. That's how you become a Shishya, not by making a declaration. I see, I see. I would hope that you see. I wasn't aware about that task. Yes. So let's see what steps you undertake and then we'll see if you are actually that much wanting a guru or not. That's fair enough. Okay, thank you very much. You can always ask. I'm here till the 5th of March. You still have lots of time. That's good.