 that's not going good oh right hope everybody is doing well right on so if you guys can hear me let me know that seems the Instagram was working well I don't know about Periscope that just died on me let's see let's try it again let's see how this is working I'm gonna try to go live sometimes the studio over and I guess we are having ah seems like we're having trouble over there today oh it seems to be going all right let's see brussey charlie how you doing hippie of the hills how are you doing if you are in YouTube land and or Periscope shoot me a message that's the only way that I know that you are there as I am re-streaming this I only notice when you guys show up in the comments so if you were over there go ahead and shoot me comment let me know that you were alive over there Terry Marie hippie the hills brussey charlie you know I wanted to thank you guys I got a few message I have I've gotten a few messages over the weekend from people that I had noticed to been watching the show and as you can imagine so I'm streaming to three different places YouTube Periscope and Instagram and last week was probably oh no yeah looks like there's no audio over there so I'm gonna try to reload that yeah but just so I just reset it over in Periscope land we'll see how that works so anyway I want to thank you guys it's Memorial Day I hope everyone has those of you here in America who so celebrate Memorial Day I hope you're grilling out I hope you're with family I hope that everything is is going quite well for you guys but now just all fell out so I was we're having we're having some issues over in Periscope land who well that's going to happen from time to time so guys to so with that it is Memorial Day I hope you're with family I hope that you have you type like a chicken yes yes I do type like a chicken and not only that tally it is it's nothing that you want to be around for because it's quite unnerving for people and you should expect some Periscope people as they are coming over because it's not working out so well over there free candy how are you doing Joel Mackley and your events are X how are you doing in Montana all right so it is Memorial Day I hope you guys are celebrating I hope that you have family around I'm going to do my best AJ and I have a lot of work to do this week we wanted to get started early and people are still complaining over there I'm just going to close that so I'm not even looking at it anymore where was that so yes Memorial Day please do celebrate remember our fallen soldiers in all the wars that we have I was reading up today it seems that Memorial Day used to be called Decoration Day and not only that it is it was they started observing after the Civil War so it's mostly for those wars LA Jen welcome to Instagram yeah and here's it and here's the thing for you Jen you you can't use your band hammer over here in in Instaland yeah it doesn't work over here it's only for Periscope so yes I hope you guys have family I hope you're surrounded and I hope that you all have some quick out if you can Jen Jen says she likes the Instagram crowd so how about that guys I hope everyone had a good weekend I wasn't I you know I was debating whether or not to go live because it is a holiday for us here in America but at the same time it's being the holiday it's it's one that some people observe my father was a veteran much of my family on my dad's side had all fought in in certain wars and for myself you know I do have plans today I have a full schedule I certainly observe Memorial Day but it was just one of those things where it was it was I talked to I talked to LA Jen last night and I told her I was going live and she was excited so I said that's it I guess I'm going live as long as you guys are gonna be here as long as you guys want me to go live well then I'm going to go live so that's the situation all right so guys I wanted to come in today I want to read you a paragraph from this book this book is called don't take yes for an answer and it's by Steve hers and it is going to be it's gonna he's gonna be one of the guests who are coming on the show and with don't take yes for an answer he lays out an argument of why we're having a hard time with social skills now Steve hers is a he's a broadcasting agent so he's a he's a sports agent for broadcasters and he helps broadcasters get to that next level to get to the ESPN to get the prime time the big sports jobs and there's a lot to go with that you need to be relatable you need to have a voice that resonates that people can listen to you easily I tend to not really have that I have a voice that can be very grating for some people but you know this is why I'm doing what I'm doing right now to get better you know communication isn't something that you see a target and you hit it communication is something that you work to get better at you could always be better even the best in the tops and sales and communication and advertising you work to squeeze out that extra percentage that that extra bit self development to me is much in the same spirit there's no boxes that you're checking off there's boxes that you are maintaining there are gradients and and percentage points that you're looking to increase your output it is it is a journey and it is a it's a quest for knowledge and beauty and that knowledge and beauty can be taken from other people but at some point but at some point that knowledge needs to be not only to to experience it to seek it out knowledge and beauty but then at one point after you find that that you are experienced and then you put into the world knowledge and beauty and that's what's very important all of us should be on a search and a quest for knowledge and beauty that that makes the world special to all of us there's always and that beauty and knowledge that you're gonna find is going to continue to to emanate as our experience collectively grows but at some point not only are you the seeker you are the one who is delivering that knowledge and that beauty and if you go on a quest for knowledge and beauty what you will find is adventure and yourself and when you find adventure and yourself then it is your duty to then create and express that quest to express your emotions and in the quest for knowledge and beauty so with that Steven hers wrote this book he says don't take it yes for an answer and he lays out an argument for our society and how it is a much gentler society where you don't get the truth anymore and because you don't get the truth anymore it's difficult for you as a person on your quest for knowledge and beauty to be able to know where you must strive harder where you come up short if you don't hear that from people if you don't get any criticism if you wall yourself off from that how are you going to know where you can be better what how are you to know those areas that you can grow and and so one of the things and he brings up this point where in our in our youth at school everyone wins everyone there's there's no no child left behind everybody if you participate you get a trophy if if you try you get a pat on the back everyone makes the team now he lays out the same argument that dr. Steven Hayes had laid out that these self-esteem rallies these these initiatives to pump your kids full of self-esteem has the opposite effect where now they're afraid to fail well that same that same initiative in the schools has now found its way into everyday work life I'll get to that so Joe Macley writes how do you know what the difference is between criticism that's good to listen to and criticism from people who are also and their own issues agendas and might and might be bullshit well we'll get into that but those with those initiatives in the schools to soften up all the children and make sure that everyone gets a trophy and make sure that everyone gets participates and this pumping the self-esteem into these children makes them has the opposite effect where now they don't want to fail now they don't want to put themselves out there because they've never had any criticism growing up they've never had the opportunity to find out where they have shortcomings of where they need to try harder and and what they need to do in order to try harder now if you've been following along in the in and the educational system I'm sure a lot of you already know this and there was a great episode that we did with Steven Hayes called self-esteem is bullshit it's a it's a great episode and he lays out this this whole argument now Steven hers goes a step farther that those initiatives that were set out in school to make our children fragile and as I think a lot of you know that there's the new anti-fragile initiative going on we're trying to help our children but this this self-esteem initiative has went and found its way into the workplace where now you have HR department who rather than fire you will just tell you that they're downsizing or that your department is cutting back and there's no place for you anymore this way they can get out of trouble and the and the and everything that goes along with a unlawful firing and so there has been these HR departments have been put together to keep their company safe because of the drama and the pushback that would happen from an unlawful firing so now this initiative of participation trophies is now finding its way into adulthood and we have we have adults running around who are never been told that they are that they have been fired that they have been told that their department has shrunk and there's no place for them they've been told that their job has been has disappeared in this company and therefore they're gonna have to move on they've never been fired they've never been told that your work is that it's not good enough and because of that they have moved on to their next job without understanding that they can be better and let me read you this this blew my mind so Stephen hers has noticed that all these professionals have never been told you're fired they've never been told that they're not good enough so they're just taking their their incompetencies into their next job and they just can't figure out why is it they're not getting tried let me read you this lots of organizations point to coaching as proof that they are a kinder gentler work environment see that we put all this coaching together for you because we're a kinder company and we care about your we care about your development right now and isn't part of the role of this supervisor an HR department to conduct performance evaluation and then work with the employee to shore up their weakness this is on paper sounds really good isn't it but maybe but in reality many HR professors won't tell you what the issues or problems that surround your performance and how your manager feels about you because that is too risky as the head of the HR major communications company once told me employees who need coaching are usually be being coached out so if you're getting coached at your job this means that they have already decided that you're out of there you getting this coaching is softening the blow there's they're showing their employees that were we're investing in you that's the trick so the the employees who need coaching are usually being coached out the formal performance improvement plan is often code for you might want to start looking for a new job you hear that so if you're in this coaching program this is their way of letting you know you might be wanting to look for a new job because there are shortcomings in your performance and we're gonna soften the blow by by giving you coaching and then that the next thing you know your department's being struck so you might want to be starting looking for a new job and still many employers wait too long to fire employees who aren't performing up to par note just because you're keeping your job doesn't mean that you're excelling I'm gonna read that again just because you're keeping your job doesn't mean that you're excelling they certainly don't feel like they have they certainly don't feel like they have the time to do it or at least to the extent that some employees might need to perform at their best and so they let their employees so they let their employees go to the equivalent of it's not you it's us you see how that works it's the same as dating when you have somebody that you're dating that you don't want to drop too hard on you say listen you know it's it's not you it's me this is the same thing listen it's not you and your bad performance it's us we're just downsizing yeah you believe this and it's not you it's me doing the employee to repeat the same mistakes over and over again you see this is why developing yourself is so important because no one is going to tell you anymore that your performance blows no one is going to tell you anymore that your performance is not up to par why because they're scared of retribution they're scared of being sued they're scared of getting themselves in trouble because that's the where this is where our society is right now and now you're stuck getting downsized out of the company and using and not putting finding yourself in a position to develop and better your skills do you believe that so here we have a school system that is now softening our children so that they don't take any hits so that they don't take any criticisms and and so they everyone can get a participation trophy and we'll pump them full of self-esteem and now these children are going to be afraid to get any criticism that has now not only followed your children into college Jonathan height wrote the coddling of the American mine where he demonstrates and lays out the argument why that self-esteem movement has now followed our children into college and now I just showed you how that movement has followed us into adulthood and if it follows you in adulthood you now have been coddled through your whole life into your career and if you want to develop you have to find it on yourself to find where your shortcomings are and get to work why because no one around you is going to tell you what the problem is no one around you is going to be honest because everyone is too afraid to be an adult anymore everyone is too afraid of being honest listen it is difficult to be honest with everybody at the all times and and you can't expect people to be honest in fact when and this goes to Joel Macley's comment when you do get criticism look at notice Joel's question how do we know good criticism from bad criticism you know it seems that we found ourselves in a point where not only can we not separate facts from fiction because alternative facts and everything else that we have everyone's truth is subjective now we also at our at a place where we don't even know where what criticism is is welcoming and what criticism isn't going to help us and I think this is why self-development is more important now than ever because we have found ourselves in a place where if we just hear fluffy good things all the time well why are we going to improve ourselves and the only way that we're going to be able to do this is to look at people who we admire and we and we aspire to be and find places where we can contrast ourselves to heighten our performance this takes a critical eye it takes a critical eye but also some key factors so that you can separate places where you can aspire where you can get better where you can grow and and what is not helpful or detrimental that is on you you have to build that now I'm not going to go into it here because I don't have time however a few weeks ago I put out three videos they are all archived on YouTube those videos are tools for self-analysis part one two and three where I laid out the complete argument and tools that you need to decipher what is the truth in an age where everyone is going to lie to you including people who love you and most importantly yourself and how to begin to scrutinize all of those thoughts and build a reality and a world view around those that that open doors for you rather than closing them all of those videos self-analysis one two and three are on YouTube free candy says most people are too afraid to give me honest criticism uh jerks maybe you're just too bad ass to get any criticism free candy maybe you are a bullet you're too awesome for criticism brassy charlie gives us a smiley face well thank you very much I'm gonna go through this and see what you guys will say I hope you have a wonderful memorial day and listen guys know that no one is going to tell you the truth we're gonna have Steve hers on the show and we just we have now documented the bubble wrap that we've been surrounded with since birth and it's following us into our careers we need to get away from this stuff you type like a chicken tally I can always expect you to give me a hard time I want to thank you guys and thank you for following me over from herescope to insta with that blocking out thank you Jen I appreciate it you guys are awesome yes well the Jen says I do like the Instagram crowd because you guys are rad that's right Hola from Arizona well hello to you for this all of my grandfather has served yes absolutely it's of mine it's a great voice and the hair is extra special well thank you Jen I appreciate that that's the fun how you doing buddy Joe we'll get into that maybe this week but uh join me on the network and we'll chat about it all right guys if you enjoyed what I have to talk about here and you want more check out the communication accelerator we have some other big announcements going on this week but the communication accelerator is always our best bits from our online classes our live training programs and our expert guys over the last 14 years and if you check out out you can you can get a free month over in the network and we can talk about everything that's in it how rad is that and and let's chat about where we can improve where we can be better is that rad Jen says it's stunted people it has stunted everyone Erin Moroski Erin eggy how are you this morning Joe caught we call it the personal improvement plan yes that's what it wasn't here the PIP the personal improvement plan the personal improvement plan to follow your ass out the door that's what it is you believe this that's right that's what we found ourselves this is a sort of sort your shit out message you guys are great awesome thank you telly all right guys I'm gonna head out have a wonderful Memorial Day and and and and let's have a great week guys I will see you tomorrow thanks for being here cheers