 So, even though women complain about you being aloof and they claim that, hey, you know, you're distant, you need your space. The other conversation with another one I had recently was this, and I'll get to this other point. One of the great things to keep yourself aloof is just to tell women straight up, I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now, I need some time to figure it out. So if you want to hang out with me and have fun, while I figure that out, you're welcome to. And that always makes women curious. Say, when you're aloof, it's just like now they got to chase you. And she said to me, well, what does that mean, do you need space while you're figuring this thing out? And I said, absolutely I need space. She goes, what does that look like? I said, well, I'm probably not going to talk to you every day. I'm probably going to talk to you when I see you, that way we can catch up and have fun. So when you flip that script and you're not the one pursuing the woman, if she's really into you, and that's the way to know if she's into you, she'll be the one pursuing you. She'll initiate the text, the phone call. And she'll think, God, you know what, I'd really like to hook up with her this weekend. Man, if I just send this little text out, how's everything? I'm just going to throw a little line out there. If she bites, I know we're on. We're on for Saturday night. But if you can resist that urge to send the text out, over time, you'll have enough women, you'll get these pings. Oh, she's sending you a message, how's everything? That's like my standard text. I stole that from Brent Smith. You guys ever heard of him? Brent Smith lifestyle? Yeah. The catchphrase is how's everything? So girls now, they'll get the text and they'll text me back, how's everything? So the other way to not chase a woman is to not pay for things. And I'll get to that in another point. When you think about meeting a woman, think about, I'm going to introduce myself, I'm going to see if there's a little connection, there's attraction, and then I'm going to back off and see if she chases. So number one rule is not to chase a woman. If you start that now in your 20s, the rest of your interactions, that will, because eventually you'll meet one that you want a long term relationship with, and that's the way you establish the ground rules that you don't chase. Your relationship's going to go a lot better. Second mistake a guy can make in his 20s is trying to buy a woman's love. So it all starts out with dates. What is the traditional American date? The guy calls the girl up, says, hey, let's go out. And she says, what would you have in mind? Did you hate that? If you ask a girl, hey, let's get together. And they always say, what'd you have in mind? It feels like it's a, it really is like a shit test. You know, if it's not good, well, maybe I'm busy. Oh, you don't want to take you to dinner and a movie. Oh, I'm free. But dates, that is just the whole American version of trying to buy a woman's love and affection. It doesn't work. The second thing that trapped the guys fall into, now, it's probably not you guys in the room. You may have made this mistake in the past, but you'll see your friends do this, is that they start dating. So once the guy's established that fact that he's going to pay for the woman the first time, she thinks that every time that they go out. And I remember a few years ago before I found the community, that's how it was with a girlfriend that I had. She was nice. She would cook for me. I would go over there, hang out. She was a great hostess. She would do a lot of things. But when we went out, she always expected me to pay. And one time I'm like, hey, you know what? You drank a lot of stuff tonight and split the bill. And she's like, no, that's your job as the man. Because I set up the relationship the wrong way. So a lot of guys in America do this. And none of you guys have ever done this. I did this in my past. It was a big mistake. Flowers, candy, tokens of affection, little things. Oh, it's just a small gift. It's just a card. None of that stuff. You don't need any of that things to have a good, healthy relationship with a woman. Because what happens is when you establish that in dating and you find the right one, show your hands, how many guys think that they'll get married someday? That's a few, exactly. So you think, oh, I found the right one. She's great. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's got a good career. This will be the one that I'm going to all treat her nice. I'll take her out. She's great. Mistake. Always make them chase. Because what happens when you do the dating thing and you get the cards, the little gifts on her birthday, the tokens of affection, then it turns into jewelry. When she goes to the marriage, women in their late 20s, they fill that clock ticking for marriage. And the ultimate finger trophy for them is an engagement ring. It's crazy. When I got married, I bought a big ring for my fiance. And just now, that's craziness. If you meet a lot of women, if you go to travel and see other cultures, you'll see that the ring is another culture is very simple, just a gold ring. There's no big engagement ring. So buying jewelry. I had a friend who was dating a girl and he bought her a really nice necklace a couple years ago. They're now not together anymore, some of you guys knew. I don't know if you know the story, but spent a lot of money, she's out of his life now, and it didn't make her lover, it didn't make her a better girlfriend for him. So jewelry is going to get you in trouble. Because what happens once you set up that I dated this girl, I treated her, we got engaged, I continued to treat her, I bought her a big ring, now I got to buy her a big wedding, now we got to get a reception, now we got to go on a big honeymoon, get married. She keeps her job or decides to have kids, now she wants a bigger car, a better car, a different car. She wants a house, she gets the house, then she's going to want a different house, a better neighborhood, bigger house, and it may seem foreign to you, but if you go back and you maybe look at your father's life when he got married, a lot of guys fall into that trap. So eventually how that whole story ends is that you have paid for her the whole way along. When you met her, when you dated her, when you got engaged, when you got married, when you had kids, you'd been footing the bill for everything all the way along, always trying to buy her love, and actually when you get divorced, you'd be surprised how that love goes out the window, and you're paying through the nose, blood, sweat, and tears for a divorce settlement, and you know, what's the phrase, hell, hath no fury, you know the rest of that, how that goes, so eventually if you set the stage for that, it ends in divorce, and you're paying for that mistake for a long time to come. If you have kids, you'll pay for that along to come. If you've been in a long-term relationship, marriage with a woman, alimony, that mistake is going to stay with you for quite a while. So trying to buy a woman's love, if you set the script the way you want it to be at the start, you'll find the right woman. If she's not into that, and she says, you know, I got guys that want to take me out, have fun, enjoy. She'll still be into you if she's really into you. So trying to buy a woman's love falls into the third trap that a guy should avoid in his 20s would be avoiding getting caught up in materialism. It's so prevalent in America. I mean, the television, every show, you're just bombarded with Madison advertising telling you that the car you drive's not good enough, you need a newer car, different car, the clothes you wear aren't good enough, the neighborhood you live in isn't good enough, the water you drink isn't good enough, you know, the phone that you got is outdated, you need a new one. We're just bombarded left and right in this culture with all the stuff that we need. And it's easy for a guy in his 20s, because you get good grades in high school so you can get to college, and you study hard in college so that you can get a good job. And you get a good job and now your buddies are out and like, man, look at the car I'm driving, I got this new BMW and the other guy's going, well, check this out, I got this new Escalade and the other guy's going, hey, I got a Mercedes, I'm gonna trade up because that makes me look good. When you get a copy of materialism, you take some of your worth and value and you're assigning it to what you have in your possessions. And that stuff is so fleeting and we get suckered in when we're young because we think in America that economic success is really what it's all about. But when you get caught up in that in your 20s, automobiles, clothing, being addicted to a particular brand, I gotta have this particular brand of car, I'm always gonna drive a BMW, I'm always gonna have a Mercedes, I've always gotta have this line of clothing, or these are the kind of shoes I'm always gonna wear. In your 20s you'll find that you spend a lot of money to keep up with materialism, and instead of investing for your future or taking your money and spending it, investing it in a business, or investing it in yourself for travel or things that you like to do. And everybody loves it, the reason being is there's a thrill of the new purchase. Every time you buy something new, you kind of satiate that need and that want. You're like, man, look at that. And just fill in the blank, whatever it is. It could be, look at that new computer, look at that new car, look at that new shirt. And we buy it and it satiates it, but then after a while the thing's old. So we get caught up in that. That's a big thing to avoid in your 20s because there's other things that you should be focusing on. Really your goal in your career should be finding a work that supports your lifestyle.