 Okay, so I think right off the bat if you want to go ahead and describe Karen to us Yes, so Karen is 47 she's average height white woman with a Definitely grown out dirty blondish Bob She has two kids and they're both terrible and a husband who doesn't know how to cook And I haven't really thought a whole lot about what she wears um aside from a lot of black and yellow because her Her nickname from her old tribe is the wasp. I see so the Tribe that you joined which one is that? Kitchenware kitchenware tribe. Okay, but she's a she's a loner now because she left to go and find the manager Ah, okay In that case, I think let's go ahead and start from before you became trapped in the infinite Ikea And sort of figure out how you got into here then. All right, that's good So in the brief like monologue bit I wrote here I had initially put in that she might be a bad tipper, but Karen is more of the type to be more of a Generally kind-hearted Karen. She is resourceful and Will want to talk to the manager to try to figure out her situation as best she can but she's not necessarily Inherently rude to other people. No, not inherently She probably would be the kind of person who like wouldn't tip if someone was rude to her Got you probably just tips normally otherwise and she doesn't have certain Prejudices that we've seen that a lot of Karen's in pop culture might have so she's not We're not playing a racist in this podcast. Don't worry. God. No Cool. Okay. So Karen soccer mom potential bad pit bad tipper Excuse me and the finder of managers she has an uncanny ability to pick out the most important person in the room and Is able to gently demand of them that they Give her what she is do as a loyal customer Or at least what she perceives. She is do yep the home store in the past has crossed Karen one too many times and the final straw was There was a sale on like some buy-to-get-one free rugs There was a sign up for it and the manager said that the sale ended yesterday and that's just Going against every fiber of Karen's being that's just that's false advertising. We can't have that Note to the listeners the manager handled the situation very well and got a hefty raise for their troubles that I narratively doomed them to so Karen Decided to take her business to a different store that was going to appreciate her more as a customer Continued to note. This is satire. Please don't be like this Karen's neighbors James and Sean They had such nice rugs. So naturally whenever the situation happened Karen reached out to them and asked where they got their rugs from and they kindly told her that they went to the wonderful world of Ikea Karen got online and looked through Ikea's catalog of rugs and got so excited that she immediately purchased some And had them started to deliver to her But wouldn't you know it the rugs got lost in shipping So Naturally Karen started fuming after a few weeks of no word about where the rugs could have wound up at She marched down to the post office and demanded to know where everything had gone But no don't don't do this. You get the point So Karen decided she would take her minivan down to the local Ikea store and Try to convince them to give her the rugs that she purchased from there and just to move on with her life So what minivan do you think that Karen would have I had? Picked out like the Mercedes MPV. It's a all-electric minivan Um, I I appreciate your contribution, but it has to be a matte black Honda Odyssey It is a matte black Honda Odyssey understood which is a car I saw in my university's parking lot once and I've never forgotten about it I feel like there's a potential story behind this Odyssey, but we can we can move on Okay, so you take your freshly filled up matte black Honda Odyssey Down to the local Ikea store and as you're driving up. There's a like on the drive up to the Ikea store, there's like a little security booth there for some reason which seems odd for a Ikea to have but you drive up to it and the bar is Pushed to the down position at the moment and you there's a security guard like motioning for you to like roll down your window Hi, yeah, the the acu is under construction currently You'll have to have to come back another time. I think oh Actually, I'm just looking for I purchased some items on your website And I know even if the store is probably under construction. I'm I'm sure that you have a center open for deliveries I would really like to talk to somebody who could give me some more information about where my Rucks have gone because you see I ordered them several weeks ago and they Still have not arrived and I can't seem to get ahold of anyone who has any real answers so could you just help me out and Get me someone who can give me some more information Okay, could you roll to manipulate someone for me, please? Yes, so roll 2d6 and add your charm, which is plus one dice dice dice, okay, so 2d6 plus one is seven. Okay So that's a mixed success. So I think that this person like Says yeah, yeah, I'll I'll go ahead and Call up my boss, but you're just gonna have to to wait right there for now. I guess No, I'm I'm very used to waiting at this point This is taken way longer than it should have you seem not at all passive aggressive about this at all, huh? I I'm sorry I just I ordered them so long ago and I've been trying so hard and no one will give me any any good answers I'm a little bit frustrated. I'm sure you understand. Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be yeah. Yeah, I get it like I've lost some Really expensive stuff in the mail last year to like that. That's great. Can you talk to somebody for me? Thank you so much Yeah, yeah, I'll allow radio My boss right now So as you're sitting here looking around you continue to observe the area around you you don't see any of the construction This person mentioned before and you also don't see any like construction vehicles Everything looks like the Ikea is pretty well built Did the guy in the in the security thing leave? he's he'd like closed the window and turned around and is like Enthusiastically talking into a radio. I'm just gonna wait for a second, but he's not he's not facing your direction Yeah, you'd like turned and then further into like the parking lot area There aren't any like there's a few vehicles but it looks like a couple like black van type of thing and There's like some trailers that are set up out in the parking lot as well Just kind of looks like something weird and as you think more and more about how weird this situation is you think like Did did James and Shawn like try to hoodwink you here or they just like We don't want her to have the same rugs as us So they they directed you to a weird Store, I feel like you need more answers. So he closed his window. Yes I'm gonna lean out of my window and like tap on the glass Okay, he turns back around and like opens up the window. Yeah, excuse me hi hi again So I noticed that there's not any construction equipment actually out here, and I was Wondering if you can tell me where exactly the construction is because it doesn't look like it's The whole building so is there any way I could just go inside for Just long enough to get some answers from somebody. It looks like there's not actually much going on I am well Yeah, yeah, like if you the the constructions on like the the other side of the of the store and And mostly on like some of the the inside I get I guess you can Yeah, you can just pull up towards the other cars that are over there. I Guess oh, great. Thank you so much. Oh, okay Just just wait in your car for for some people to come get you and he's lifting up the gate still like Trying to tell you to like take it easy. Thank you. Awesome. Thank you so much and I just driving today Okay, so as you're driving up you See off on like the right side where the parking lot area is there are the the cars that are parked there that he Told you to drive towards and off on the left side you see Like several garage door type entrances along the side. It looks like sort of like a loading dock area And one of the doors is actually open and for some reason no one is around Well, the loading dock is probably where they would have stuff that has been shipped. So I'm gonna go check it out Yeah, that seems like a good idea. So you drive up to that area there and you see like into the store and it looks like There's a lot of different merchandise in there like there might be some rugs further in I think that Bringing your minivan into the store and just pulling it up right up to the rugs We'll be the easiest way for you to get your merchandise and get out of here Yep, sounds good to me sounds good to you. Perfect. So you drive up into the IKEA store here Fully committed and it probably would be a good idea to bring it in anyway so that no one notices that a minivan has pulled up into the parking lot here and tries to Question that as well. So you drive up on in there as you drive into the store You are looking around looks like the Media area drove into is more of like bedding and stuff So you drive a little bit further and the next aisle down looks more like kitchenware type stuff and then the next aisle looks more like lamps and Wait, I'm driving my car around the IKEA. You're just going straight in and it's like the Shelving that's in there is spread far enough apart that you can like easily drive into there Yeah, and I figure if it's probably empty because it's under construction. So no one's you know Notice anything and you were completely right. There's getting get out beyond my way there's so much merchandise that's already in here and You drive up further and oh you eventually find the rugs So you hop on out and look around to see if anyone is around But you look around and as you look back in the direction that you came It's just more shelving You don't see the garage door that you entered from I'm going to investigate a mystery Okay, go ahead roll 2d6 and add Add your sharp. Okay. That is One plus six plus one is eight So investigate a mystery with a seven to nine you get to hold one you get to ask one of these questions What happened here? What sort of creature is it? What can it do? What can hurt it? Where did it go? What was it going to do was being concealed here? I'll do what happened here. Okay, so as you sort of double back a bit to investigate what happened to the garage door that you just entered from like a couple minutes ago you Look down further and further and you see that where you could have sworn that garage door was is a additional row of shelving that has more merchandise sitting on top of it and Beyond that is more. It's a lot of Kitchenware that has now propped up there and you don't You don't see like the entire wall that had the garage doors that you entered through Unbelievable and as you look around more and more you see that the ceiling is actually really really tall too like hundreds of Meters tall it is massive and you look around more and more you maybe Step up on top of your minivan in order to look around and you don't see a wall Anywhere you see some massive pillars that are holding up the ceiling that is so high that small clouds have been able to form And you're stuck in the infinite Ikea What are my what are my neighbor's names again they are James and Shawn James and Shawn. Yes James and Shawn classic James and Shawn Cool they they were definitely out to get you they didn't want you to find those were oh wait the rugs that they had Are on the shelf right there But conveniently none of the ones that you ordered in particular because you didn't want to get matching rugs You already knew better than that. No, of course not none of the ones that you ordered are on this shelf I'm an individual none of the ones that I ordered what nope There are hundreds of them not even the wow Gonna have to gonna have to file a complaint about that Lots of lots of complaints to be had for Ikea. Oh, yes, so to sort of streamline The rest of Karen's time up until the present She spends a couple months within the infinite Ikea. She Takes her Mercedes. Oh, sorry. I need to write down the the car Yes, yes, so she takes her Honda Odyssey and sort of just starts driving in One direction Continuing through the kitchen area that you have come upon here you eventually run into a group of people who are dressed in What looks to be like armor that has been crafted from the different kitchen accessories that are here they have on? cookie sheet like tray Chest plates and they've affixed colanders to their heads as helmets. It's very much fully armored and Prepared for battle dress for these individuals that are wearing just kitchen accessories You learn that the name of this tribe is the kitchen accessoria tribe They're able to tell you that the different tribes within the infinite Ikea here They've had some interactions with kitchen accessoria is one of the largest of these tribes you don't Know where to get your rugs still unfortunately This area that they lie within is primarily kitchen accessories So you've sort of come to the wrong area But you decided to stay with them a bit longer in order to get some information and maybe figure out a which way to go to Find your rugs and maybe find a manager you could talk to that Would know what to do They try to tell you something about like the employees are Different, they're not actually like real people or something but you imagine that no matter what there has to be somebody in charge and Karen knows exactly who to talk to and where to go to try to find the person in charge So you spend some time with kitchen accessoria you While you were driving sort of recklessly trying to figure out where to go you wound up using up some of your gas So you're about down to like three-quarters of a tank They tell you that you could maybe try to go to The automotive section if you could find something there could be some fuel there that you could use or Or something that you could substitute but I don't know Karen seems like the type to only put like top grade Petrol into her very expensive Honda Odyssey in order for it to run as cleanly as possible probably yeah but You stock up on as much as you can before deciding to Depart with the kitchen accessoria tribe in your time there since you were wearing Garb that was mostly yellow and black and had a bit of a sharp tongue and were quite useful in adventuring and discovering and not necessarily looting but Getting resources for the tribe in your short tenure there Because of your yellow and black scheme they decided to nickname you the wasp So Karen aka the wasp heads off Towards where she has been told is the best place to potentially find some rugs It's a living room section. That's not entirely too far away from the kitchen accessoria tribe And you begin to drive off as you are heading further into the expanse of The infinite Ikea it eventually turns to nighttime which you have become familiar with this just means in the infinite Ikea the lights turn off And you're not able to see as much other than a dull red light that eliminates the area You're able to move quickly enough in your Honda Odyssey that you can generally avoid any of these employees that you've been warned about and as Karen continues driving through the night you eventually see up in the sky further ahead of you in the direction You are heading towards a flare is shot into the air. All right. I'm heading toward that flare and we will stop there