 Hey what's up you guys, welcome back to my channel if you're new here, hi her, I'm Lillian. Today I thought I'd talk to you a little bit about what it's like to change psychiatric medication. I have been on a lot of different variations of psychnotes, I've been anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, benzodiazepine, and procedure. I'm actually considering starting a mood stabiliser. So I'm looking at that and I am also looking at changing from QTiopein to something else. Mainly because the weight gain I've had from the QTiopein is a lot. You know it's getting harder and harder to manage, which ain't the best. Let me take you back to the beginning when I started medication. So the first medication I ever went under my mental health was lithium. I took lithium when I was 13 years old and I reacted really badly to it. I struggle with dehydration at the best of time. So any medication that makes you more dehydrated I do struggle with. Unfortunately that is a side effect I have on all my medication, physical health and mental health. I came up with lithium, got discharged from CAMS and then years later I got re-scented CAMS which is Children and Adolescents Mental Health Services. The second time I got referred to CAMS I was started on fluoxetine. In case you don't know I was under CAMS when I was 16. CAMS you're up to age 18 in Telford. My experience with them so fluoxetine and me don't mix. I can't take it and I also can't take any that have similar ingredients. I'm actually allergic to fluoxetine and I lasted a grand total of a week before CAMS told me to stop taking it. I then stopped taking medication for a bit because I was too afraid to go on something else. And then the next summer so I had been 17. I was started on to Citalopram. He didn't do anything and I got put on the high dose of it. Nothing so that got stopped. Then switched to sertraline which sertraline I couldn't eat on. I just didn't feel hungry at all. I couldn't eat, I'd throw up for it. And because of that time I was also struggling with my eating disorder. I was also under eating disorders. So then we got on to metazepine which helped me to leave, begin with, and then it just didn't do anything. There are changes in medication. There has always been two weeks between each medication that I've changed because that is the requirement under the British guidelines with antidepressants and especially SSRIs because of the thing called serotonin syndrome, which if you want I'll make a video on that. We're on metazepine and I said it didn't do anything so that got stopped. And then I got put back on sertraline which didn't work at all. And then I got started on to Vendelofaxi and extended relief which is what I am still taking to this day. In terms of antidepressants, the switching of it, it was so hard. Like the withdrawal process is real. Like even now if I miss a dose of my Vendelofaxi I can, I physically start shaking and I can't manage. I get really shaky, I get jumpy and I can't cope if I miss a dose. Mainly a good thing because it reminds me to take it and I do have bad habit of forgetting to take meds, it's not the best. So yeah, taking Vendelofaxi has helped a bit. So now that it's gone to antipsychotics, so I've taken a few. I have taken, well I've taken Alanzepine with hated last little wee body didn't respond well to it. Got switched to Quattaiopeine which I'm still on. I take around 300 milligrams a day now but early this year I actually got started on Haloperidol at the same time as Quattaiopein as kind of a supporting dose. I reacted to the Haloperidol really badly, really badly. Every time I've ever had that I've reacted horribly and an upfront experience because when I was in hospital in January I actually did get injected with it because I had an episode and yeah. But shenan psychotic was, it is a long process because you can't just jump off a high-dose, decrease it very slowly otherwise you run the risk of so many health issues that it's literally not worth trying to just come off it. I've really not advised that. I have gone cold turkey on medication. Main one being Quattaiopeine. I did try and stop taking it. Dole-Badrishang. We are being it. But back on the subject of withdrawal from antipsychotics. Going cold turkey is the worst thing you can do. Do not do that under any circumstances. At all. Every doctor ever will advise against it. So when you take medication you can't ever just decide oh yeah I'm not taking it anymore because that's not how. However, I do want to talk about this room in that. The biggest thing with a mental health that helps with anxiety helps with sleep and helps with countless other things. I've been to those opinions. And every time I've mentioned this, spoke about this, I have gotten so much hate. I am very pro-medication. I have nothing against therapy but I don't have any good experiences with therapy so I don't talk about it. And I take the nasal plan at this point. I take it three times a day. Two 0.5 tablets in the daytime and then I have one milligram at night. For me being a game changer, I've huge misconception that everyone who takes them is going to become an addict or dependent. And I think if you know how to manage medication and do it right and follow the instructions by the professional, you are a lot less likely to become addicted. Now I have taken different variations of benzodiazepines for nearly two years now and I still forget to take it. I'm actually the worst person when it comes to remembering to take medication and I can tell you from switching from lorazepam to clonazepam it made all the difference because lorazepam is very short-term. Clonazepam is the longer term benzodiazepine that you can take for longer than the others. And me and my consultant are both in agreement that I cope with things better on that medication and we have no intention of stopping it. And that's the joint agreement between me and my consultant. Big thing in that is I am very, very honest about how I feel. I've been very open with them about my past with drug abuse. Anyone who doesn't know me, I used to use cocaine two years ago and I haven't used it in over a year which is a big deal for me. I would never do it again because it nearly killed me. My best advice for medication change is one, know your meds. Understand how they work. Or if you don't want to be on a medication, tell them why and explain your worries. And you know, if before you start medication ask to know what the expected side effects are because that is within your right. It's medication is swings and roundabouts and I'm not gonna lie there is always a trial and error in everything. There is no picture perfect way to know what medication will work for you. So yeah, there's a chance you will end up on a medication that makes you ill. There is a chance that medication won't work. There is a chance of adverse effects. I take medication to cope, to survive and to want to exist. There is nothing more than that in what I do. And I said I finally do have a medication routine that I believe anyway works for me. And I honestly question channel would not have continued on if it wasn't for the support that you guys have given. And I owe a lot to you. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for standing by me. Stay safe, stay strong. And in light of what's going on at the moment, stay home or stay two meters away. Yeah, I've got to sit in the car, man, for a bit.