 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. How often do you hear people say, �My God would never do that� without that person having a true understanding of who God even is? Well, right now you can get a free copy of the book, None Other, by John MacArthur. In the book, you'll discover the only way to discover the one true God. Get your free copy of this book by clicking the �Free Stuff� tab at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com Offer expires June 2nd. Citizens of Hicksville, New York are not happy with remarks that Robert De Niro makes in his new film, The Comedian. People in the Long Island town want De Niro to formally apologize after his character in the movie, a stand-up comedian, joked that Hicksville is home to inbreeding and crystal meth. Hey, it's not Robert De Niro that named your town Hicksville. You did this to yourself, Hickvillians! Last week's brawl among adults at a high school graduation in a church outside Memphis reportedly began over a dispute involving the saving of seats. People, please! It's a high school graduation, not the Super Bowl. It's not, oh, that great a show! Anthony Bourdain has dined with President Obama, but he's very unlikely to break Brad with Donald Trump. The celebrity chef explains, I can't see the point, since he only talks about himself and he's only interested in himself. That makes it really hard for Anthony Bourdain to talk about his favorite subject of Anthony Bourdain. This is both sad and hilarious. If the presidential election were held today, despite all of the antics that have taken place since he took office, Trump would still defeat Hillary Clinton. However, a separate study shows that, again, if the presidential election were held today, Dwayne The Rock Johnson would beat President Trump by a margin of 42-37 percent. That's kind of make Hillary feel special. Police say that a Massachusetts woman arrested this week after she knocked over six mailboxes while allegedly drunk driving had a lizard in her brawl. Even worse, the lizard was supposed to be keeping an eye out for the cops. Al Gore's vice presidential running mate, Joseph Lieberman, is said now to be the front runner for the new FBI director. Well, second runner, actually. Trump has already offered the gig to Meatloaf, but we're not holding out our breath on that one. In Bostwick, Florida, police say an unnamed man learned the hard way that kissing a rattlesnake is a really bad idea. The idiot was reportedly bitten on the tongue while trying to kiss, said rattlesnake, and had to be airlifted to a hospital where he was listed in critical condition. This won't surprise you in the least, a friend of the victim said the man had been drinking while handling the seemingly calm Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake. But when he moved toward the reptile, as though to kiss it, the snake bit him. By the way, did you catch that he was bitten on the tongue? Okay, let this be a lesson to you, buddy. You don't lean in for a kiss with a snake or a woman with the tongue already out. That's just wrong. British bookies say gamblers are betting that Donald Trump won't finish out his term in office. Meanwhile, the ghostwriter of The Art of the Deal says Donald Trump will figure out a way to resign from office. Wow, even Trump doesn't want to see Trump in the White House. Better start polishing those shoes, Mr. Pence. A new study found that more than half of American doctors are burnt out, exhausted, and losing their sense of purpose. The phrase, they're not alone, comes to mind. Last week, a man in Washington state tried to get out of drug charges by bribing the policeman with Taco Bell. Stupid! Taco Bell? C'mon, everybody knows you bribe cops with Krispy Kreme. After 146 years, the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus gave its final performance on Sunday. Don't worry, though, there are plenty of circuses still performing, for example, the one at the White House. Crime is dying in Japan, leaving Japan's police to hunt for something else to do. Japan has over 259,000 uniformed officers, 15,000 more than a decade ago. At the same time though, crime rates have been falling for 13 years, in fact the murder rate of 0.3 per 100,000 people is among the lowest in the world. Only one gun slaying was recorded in the entire country for all of 2015. That means plenty of attention for crimes that would be considered too petty to investigate elsewhere. What are they doing in Japan? And how can we adopt that here? A disheveled Turkish student could be facing federal charges after allegedly trying to enter the cockpit of a Hawaii-bound flight until he was grabbed by passengers and duct-taped to a seat. You know, air travel is just getting more and more exciting by the day, isn't it? Steve Harvey's second ex-wife, Mary Harvey, has sued the family feud host for $60 million, alleging that he damaged her soul. How much is the soul worth? I mean, legally. The LA Coliseum is reportedly selling its naming rights to United Airlines. Right now, the new name of the stadium is being debated between UAL Pavilion or Drag Your Butt Out Stadium. The TV show Rosanne is coming back because Hollywood is finally willing to admit that they've run out of ideas. Dozens of Notre Dame students from the class of 2017 quietly filed out as Mike Pence began his commencement speech Sunday, carrying out a planned protest of President Trump's VP. These graduates are just going to love the real world, where everybody's opinions and political beliefs always mirror their own. According to a new study, 25% of Americans don't believe in God. I can hear the new Pledge of Allegiance already. According to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, 75% under God, indivisible. A Michigan doctor has had his license suspended after performing liposuction in a barn. Yep, bad to do it. Snoop Dogg has signed with TBS to host a game show, The Joker's Wild. The show will have more commercial breaks than most other game shows to give Snoop time to get in a few tokes to keep his personality consistent. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook The Last Observer, a magic battle for reality by G. Michael Vasey, narrated by Darren Marlar. The Lord of the Elements wants to change reality. He has enlisted the evil Zeltan to help him and together they will try to recruit Stanley, a man gifted with incredible imaginative capabilities to help them, unless Edward and his friends can stop them. A tale of white and black magic, quantum physics, and a plot that twists and turns. The Last Observer, a magic battle for reality by G. Michael Vasey. Here a free sample on the audiobooks page at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. O.J. Simpson is scheduled to have a parole hearing in July and could possibly be released from prison, although it is expected that he'll turn down parole once he discovers the free world is ruled by a TV reality show host. A White House press release on President Trump's trip to the Middle East listed Trump's major goal for the visit as being to promote the possibility of lasting peach in the region. Yep, spell check won't pick up that since peach is an actual word. Sen. John McCain says he was almost speechless after learning that President Trump called fired FBI Director James Comey a nutjob during a meeting with the Russian foreign minister who had no business in the Oval Office. McCain tells Fox News, I don't know how to read it, except that I'm almost speechless. I don't know why someone would say something like that. Well, I don't know, probably the same reason the same guy said that you're not a war hero. The Ringling Brothers' Barnum and Bailey Circus gave his final performance ever on Sunday. Then the 23 clowns all got into a single car and drove home. The Eunice Batha won't be shooting any more elephants. South African big-game hunter was killed in Zimbabwe when the hunting party he was leading stumbled upon a herd of elephants that included calves and pregnant females. Reportedly, the three female elephants charged the group and Batha shot at them, but was surprised by a fourth elephant that charged from the side and picked him up with her trunk. Another member of the party shot and killed that elephant, but a very unexpected side effect was that Batha was crushed to death when the fatally wounded animal collapsed on top of him. Batha, a 51-year-old father of five, specialized in using hounds to hunt leopards and regularly recruited wealthy trophy hunters from America for hunting safaris in Africa. It kind of seems to be a theme going here, as Batha's close friend and fellow hunter Scott Van Ziel was also killed by crocodiles while hunting in Zimbabwe last month. Wow, who knew Officer Karma also patrolled South Africa? That guy gets around. An Australian nutritionist says less exercise may be the key to weight loss. I smell a Nobel Prize for someone. A Girl Scout troop leader in Kentucky is on the run from police after she allegedly stole $15,000 worth of Girl Scout cookies. Still, totally worth it. McDonald's is expanding its delivery service by partnering with Uber so it can bring food right to your door. So I guess I won't be seeing the sun any time soon. It's a terrible thing to be driving drunk. It's worse to crash your car while driving drunk, but it's as bad as it gets when you're driving drunk, crash your car into the sheriff's brand-new drunk driving awareness vehicle. Yep, it happened during Pirate Fest, of course, in Citrus County, Florida. Paul M. Wilkins of Crystal River drove through a traffic control point and slammed into a sheriff's office detective's vehicle and pushed it about 30 feet into their new don't-drink-and-drive patrol car. Wilkins claimed he didn't see the vehicles, which seems unlikely as police lights on both vehicles were flashing. Fortunately, there were no injuries, but Wilkins was promptly arrested for DUI. A bonus irony, he was taken to the Citrus County detention facility in the back of the newly unveiled and now damaged, a cop or cab you decide vehicle. Kris Jenner and Courtney Kardashian have both offered to be surrogate moms for Kim Kardashian's third child. You know, anything for family or ratings. In Coon Rapids, Minnesota, a woman maced Wendy's employees after allegedly receiving stale fries. I'm not really sure what the strangest thing is about this story, macing somebody for stale fries or the fact that there are people willing to live in a place called Coon Rapids. Nicki Minaj has been quietly supporting a small village in India through her pastor. So far, she's provided a computer center, a tailoring institute, a reading program and two water wells. Suddenly, I'm not as disgusted by Nicki Minaj. Still disgusted, just not as much. Tom Cruise has confirmed he will finally begin shooting the much-discussed sequel to the 1986 classic Top Gun. Cruise told an Australian interviewer, It's true, I'm going to start probably in the next year. I know it's happening. It's definitely happening. You're the first people I've said it to, you asked me, and so I'm telling you. In the movie, it's 30 years later and Tom's just about to retire from his job at United Airlines. He freaks out, starts tossing passengers off the plane. A suicidal man in Alaska ended up killing his girlfriend with the bullet he shot into his own head. Even more ironic, he lived. And now, 21-year-old Victor Sibson is facing a second-degree murder charge over the suicide attempt which happened on April 19th in Anchorage. Prosecutors say the bullet Sibson fired traveled through his head and hit 22-year-old Brittany May Hagg in the armpit, striking her vital organs and fatally wounding her. In Accord Appearance Sunday, Victor said he could not afford $250,000 bail, even asked the judge, Could we figure out if I'm guilty or not today? Sounds like there might be a little brain damage there, or maybe he just doesn't care to live. I mean, the guy did try to commit suicide once, but you really think charging him with second-degree murder is going to give him reason not to do that again? The sinkhole has opened up in front of President Trump's Florida estate, Mar-a-Lago. Hey, it's another ironic metaphor. There's apparently a live-action Pinocchio movie in the works. Would I lie to you about that? Sir Roger Moore passed away this week at the age of 89. While he was a great James Bond, he was no saint. Oh, wait, yeah, he was actually, wasn't he? Never mind. A new dating app called Gatsby allows you to search through what's available out there while filtering out all those with a criminal record, meaning this will be a complete flop in Washington, D.C. That witch that was casting spells on Donald Trump, she's back and casting more spells. And to cover all of our bases, no, I'm not talking about Hillary. Katy Perry was offered $20 million to be a judge on the next version of American Idol, and she said no thanks. So they said, alright, well, how about $25 million? And Katy said, okay, because you obviously can't make ends meet on a paltry $20 million per year. Kodak is getting into the cell phone business. Man, how cool is that going to be? Kodak, your phone might be able to take pictures like a camera. Now this, folks, this is a manly man. In Crawford County, Arkansas, 41-year-old Raymond Van Holsen was shot in the head with an arrow. Amazingly, he then proceeded to drive himself about six miles to the closest hospital. He was later flown to Washington Regional Medical Center in good condition, according to the sheriff's office. Meanwhile, authorities identified the arrow-wielding assailant as 42-year-old Kenneth Larrabee Mison, and police are currently looking for him. Mison stands about 5 feet 11 inches tall, weighs around 155 pounds, and has an average build. He has heasel eyes and short brown hair, with a short beard and mustache, as well as tattoos on both arms. In other words, he looks just like about 500,000 other guys in Arkansas. Apple is now more valuable than the city of Chicago, 40% more than the windy city's GDP. Then again, Apple isn't continually creating regulations and raising taxes on businesses, giving them incentive to leave Apple so they can afford to stay in business. The Marlar House mobile app is now available and it's free. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Watch Marlar House YouTube videos, check out the t-shirts, mugs, audiobooks and other stuff in the Marlar House store. See what's in my blog and more. It's all in one app and it's free for iOS and Android users. You can download it right now at marlarhouse.com-mobile or click the mobile tab at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. In Portland, Oregon, a man somehow managed to steal 800 pairs of shoes from a local Nike store. This guy needs a cool villain name, like The Millipede. Politico reports that President Trump is looking to hire a crisis manager. Yeah, I located the source of your crisis, Mr. President. It's you. Some of the medals that the athletes won at the Rio Olympics are apparently chipping and rusting, which describes perfectly the quality of the Rio Olympics in general. A report says robots could wipe out 40% of all retail jobs in the next 10 years. But then Amazon.com, they're going to wipe out 40% of all retailers in the next 10 years, so I guess it all evens out. For all the publicity that Katy Perry is getting out of her feud with Taylor Swift, I'm going to announce that I'm feuding with Taylor Swift, too. Well, technically speaking, she's not speaking to me. Okay, well, she doesn't know me, but still. Nathan's and Curtis' hot dogs are being recalled after metal shards were found in the packaging. They tried to get out of this by saying their hot dogs were a good source of iron, but apparently the FDA just wasn't going for that. Pope Francis and President Trump met at the Vatican. No, that's not the setup for a joke. It really happened. In fact, while at the Vatican, Pope Francis asked First Lady Melania Trump what she feeds her husband. Specifically, he wanted to know if she feeds him poltiga, which is a high-calorie pastry served in Slovenia. And then his holiness did a bunch of yo-Donald's-so-fat jokes. The critics are not being kind to Baywatch, and they're not amused by the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Pirates of Baywatch, however, might be the comedy smash hit of the summer. The submarine that was made famous in the Tom Clancy 1984 novel The Hunt for Red October, the USS Dallas, completed its final trip Monday morning when it arrived at Puget Sound naval shipyard for decommissioning. Sean Connery was not asked to comment because they didn't want people making fun of the way he said, you are shush Dallas. The NFL is changing their rules, and once again will allow touchdown celebrations. So all is now right with the world. Join the Weird It Forward movement, where Marlar House weirdos make a difference in the world a couple of bucks at a time. Our latest Weird It Forward campaign is for Keith. He has Down syndrome, and he was unexpectedly accepted to college, but now he has no money for tuition, so you can get the details and help the guy out by watching the video at WeirdItForward.com. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up and be sure to subscribe if you want to see more. And click that little bell icon next to the subscribe button to be notified when I post new videos. And if you're already an official Weirdo, please share this video on your own social media. Find even more weird news that I didn't have time for on the Facebook page at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. I'm Darren Marlar, and I'll see you next time, Weirdos.