 The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Cy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum is a typically American product that appeals to people of all ages and nationalities in all parts of our country, and the Wrigley people feel that Life with Luigi is a typically American radio program, a friendly, enjoyable show that sort of symbolizes the American spirit of tolerance and goodwill. So the makers of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearman Gum are glad to bring you Life with Luigi each week and have you join them in this pleasant half-hours entertainment. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his Mama Vasco in Italy. I mean, I'm not gonna want you to write to your boss there's gonna be a short to let it today on the 18th pages. It's a real summer wedding in Chicago and as soon the American people they go on a vacation. People with a lot of money, they go to the mountains to get away from the heat. People with a little money, they go to the seashore to keep it cool. Me, I'm just a changer to summer underwear, but still I'm a no complainer, I'm happy to be living here in America. In my own little electric shop that's... Good morning, Mr. Vasco, a letter for you. Oh, thank you, Mr. Mamma. Oh, he's from my mom and me. She must be a wonderful woman, right here every day, huh? No, Sunday's a she's a take-off. Well, I'm gonna open up. Let me see. Dear son, Luigi, we all are feeling the fine, you see, I'm a written in English and she's right in Italian, but I'm a translator for you. We all are feeling the fine, and I'm sending you regards from Ante Josefina, Anta Margherita, Uncle Pietro, and his a god. Luigi, my son, I'm wanted to thank you very much for a glass coffee maker, which you sent to me, which I'm afraid to use. But yesterday we all decided I should try out, so we put on the glass coffee maker in the kitchen and we all watch you from the bedroom. Nothing has happened, but by the time we all feel brave enough to turn off the gas, coffee is all boiled out. There, get used to it. What else does she write? You know, I feel just like she's writing to me. Now my son is a very important part of a letter. You always write to us how you come to him in a Pasquale is among you life miserable, trying to force you to marry his fact, the daughter of Russia. Well, last week we received the biggest surprise ever all. Pasquale sent us a picture of his daughter and she's a beautiful, beautiful. I'm about to send my mom many eyeglasses for Christmas. You always say how Russia weighs 250 pounds, but we all see picture and we know she can't weigh more than 125, 125. Oh, now I know Pasquale has only sent a half a picture. Luis, you must have some reason why you behave not the nicer to Pasquale. After all, he's brought you to America. I'm a talkover with a whole family and they all agree with me. You should have married Russia right away. What? Even Uncle Pietro Zagot is a shaker. He's a head. Yes. Luigi, I'm, I'm getting old. I'm on all like to make up your mind for you. But if you want to make me happy and yourself happy, you take my advice, marry Russia. My money is the end. The end of the letter. The end of a million. How can my family be fooled like that? Wait. Now, what are you worried about? Just because your mother tells you to marry a girl, that doesn't mean you got to do it. You're in America now. I'm sure I'm in America, but, but are you here? My mom is getting old. I'm going to want to hike. If it's going to make her happy, live longer, if I marry Russia, then, then I'm going to do it. Well, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. You've got your life to live and you live it your way. Maybe you're right. I'm going to my night school to class and ask them what they think after all, hey, wait. Maybe Russia is a change. You're so much. I'm going to recognize it. I'm going to go look. But hey, Mr. Poster, you just deliver mail in the Pasqualeis. You see how? No, they were just Pasqualeis and way in the back, I couldn't see who it was. Somebody was sitting, looked like a potbellied store. I didn't know you're such a looker. That's a Rossa, right? No, no, that's the wrong answer, Mr. Schultz. Mr. Basko. Huh? What's the matter, Mr. Basko? You haven't answered one question. I'm sorry, Miss Spud and my mind isn't thinking about something else. Luigi, tell us, are you in love? No, but I'm going to get married. Luigi, something to do with Rossa. Ah-ha, maybe a nutric from Pasqualeis. Who are you? Who are you? See, class, Pasqualeis has sent a picture to my mom and me, and Aunt Margarita and Josephine and they all get together, and even Uncle Pietro is a goat that says I'm a God, I'm Harry Rossa. Well, stop, you're getting us all for shimmers. Start from the beginning and back up, slow. Pasqualeis and a picture of Rossa to your mama. Yes. And your mama thought she was beautiful. Yes. You better start all over again, I'm all for shimmers than before. Well, it's perfectly simple, Mr. Schultz. Mr. Basko's mother evidently wants her son to be married. And from the photograph, Mr. Pasqualeis sent her, she thinks Rossa would be a suitable bride. Now, doesn't that make sense? Yeah. You trust this fancy word, sentence Luigi to the electorate chair. But, friends, I'm always a listen to my mom and me, and- Oh, Papi Kaker, this marriage a man has got the right to commit suicide by himself. Schultz, it's not a thing to make fun about. I can see how it is in Luigi's family. Family ties are very strong. That's right, Horowitz. The biggest thing to me is to make my mama me happy. What do you think of Mr. Spaulding? Well, I don't know what to say, Mr. Basko. I know how you rebel against Mr. Pasqualeis' efforts to make you marry his daughter. And I know how you feel about your mother's decision. But, well, the world moves onward and things change. Aha, she said it. Nobody listens to mothers anymore. That's old fashioned. We are all progressing. Kids make their own decisions, Luigi. Today it's a world of hot rods, atom bombs, jet planes, flying saucers. Him or maybe we'd be better off if we went back and listened to our mothers. She my friend. Hello, Pasqualeis. Well, how's my little pumpkin ahead today? Come out of the sun a little banana nose before you start appealing. Pasqualeis, I'm going to get a letter from my mama ma here today and she's got some ideas about the menorosa. And I'm going to take her advice. Don't be stupid, Luigi. You're big enough to pick your own bride. In America, fellow gets married without asking his mama. After all, what does a mama know about such things? Mamas are good for a lot of things. When it comes to important things like a marriage, you've got to make up your own mind. Don't listen to your mama. Pasqualeis, my mama wants some churamari rosse. That's what I said, Luigi. Mama knows the best. Oh, I hate people who don't take advice from their mama. Why do your mama write to you, Luigi? Well, you sent her a picture of a rosse and she thinks the rosse is very beautiful. Hey, Pasqualeis, you got another picture like the one you sent to my mama ma here? No, Luigi. It so happens that that was the only one that's come out. I don't understand it. She just said rosse weighs 125 pounds. Well, Luigi, maybe you took her picture while the rosse was standing sideways. You know, it's two sides of the rosse. Mama, no, no. When mama look at a rosse, she'll look like eight to sides. You see, Luigi, that's your trouble. You're prejudiced. Everyone else thinks a rosse is beautiful. Only when you look at it, she looks terrible. This is what they call an obstacle illusion. You saw right, Pasqualeis. Rosse is the biggest obstacle I've ever saw. That's a funny thing. If you say it, it's a commodity for her. Well, Luigi, you're not going to be disappointed in a marry a rosse. I'm going to put away the most beautiful things that you ever saw. Come here, come here. I'm going to show you. Look, look at what I've been saving up. We're going to present this for you too. Look, Easterlings style in a silver. And Easterling silver is better than western silver. And look, if you sat on that fork, you know what would have happened? Yeah, I'd say ouch. No, no, I'm trying to show you how strong it is. If a rosse sat on that fork, you know what would have happened? Yeah, the fork would have said ouch. No, no, no, Luigi, you're just making it hard out of yourself. Enjoy everything. Look, come here, look what's here. Linens, towels, appliances. Look at these wet clothes. The roses are sure got a bigger hope than chance to... Luigi, when you marry my little girl, are you marrying a girl with the world's the biggest torso? I don't know, Busquely, when you say it, it's to come out the different. And it's a still right. Luigi, you've got no idea how happy this newser makes me. Wait, I'm going to call it a rose in the kitchen. I call it a brush and dry. Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. I'm going to call you Rosa. It's a joke, Rosa. Luigi, laugh. I'm so happy, Rosa, because Luigi's finally asked to marry you. I didn't hear him. Take my word. Well, we've got to organize it. Luigi's no use of rushing the wedding. Tell me, you like short engagement or long engagement? What's your choice? 10 minutes or 20 minutes? Anything, Busquely, as long as my mom and mommy is happy. Well, Dan, we take our time. I have the wedding invitations printed in a half hour, the wedding will be in one hour, in two hours you'll fly to Niagara Falls by eight o'clock at the night you'll fight like an old married couple. Papa, are we going to take any wedding pictures? Rosa, go back in the kitchen. I'll call you when the ceremony starts. Rosa, Busquely, when are we going to take wedding pictures? We aren't. I mean, I'll leave it to me. Why not? Then I won't. It's the same as the other picture. Which other picture? Rosa. It's the one Papa sent your mother. Let me see it then. Rosa, don't give it to me. I'm a guarantee. Don't look, Luigi. Give it out of place. Oh, no. You thought you'd take it away from me, huh? Let me see. So that's why Rosa's a look so beautiful and away so little. Rosa, I want to... No wonder my mom and me are so good to marry the faster. Well, I'm a noblemer. Busquely, you sent my mom and me a picture of Alana Turner. I'd like to mention that Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum is a taste treat that your whole family will enjoy. From the smallest child up to Grandma and Grandpa, just about everybody enjoys the delicious, long-lasting flavor of Wrigley's Spearmint and the pleasant chewing. Besides, as you know, chewing Wrigley's Spearmint sweetens the breath and helps keep teeth bright and clean. So it's a good idea to chew a stick after every meal. Always have a few packages of healthful, delicious, Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum handy in your home. It costs so little, tastes so good, and wins a lot of thank-yous every time you pass it around. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basko's letter to his mother-in-law. Well, Mamma Mia, I've got a big surprise for you. The picture Pasquale sent to you was an after-Rosa, but a movie actress, Alana Turner. And to marry Alana Turner, you'll no have to give her me advice. She had a long time ago, but she's already married. And Mamma Mia, there's a summer difference between Alana Turner and Rosa. Alana Turner is a blonde, Rosa is a brunette. Alana Turner is a skinny, Rosa is a fat. And where Alana Turner's got a curves, Rosa is a dead end. But I don't think I'm going to want to get married because I do. It's just that when I'm going to pick out a girl for a wife, I'm going to get married to retail, not to wholesale. So now Mamma Mia is going to convince you what Rosa really looks like. My friend Schultz is coming here soon with a camera. And we're going to take Rosa's picture and send it. Luigi, my fellow boob. Hello, Schultz. Well, Luigi, I brought in this box camera, all right? Well, you sure Rosa isn't going to come out and box the camera? I mean, it is a look so small. Who knows? Maybe to get all of Rosa in one picture we've got to take it a double exposure. Ah, stop worrying. Smile, Luigi. A camera is just like a kleptomaniac. It takes everything it sees. But all right then. Come on, Schultz. You know, by rights, Luigi, we ought to play back on Paschwale, his own trick. We shouldn't even take a picture of Rosa. What do you mean, Schultz? He's in the picture of Alana Turner. We should send in a picture of Sidney Greenstreet. No. No, we'd better not take a chances. Sidney Greenstreet has a look too pretty. Look how she is, Schultz. Look, in front of Spaghetti Palace. All right, Luigi. No, let's walk up and talk to her. All right. No. Hello, Rosa. Hello, Rosa. Oh, hello. Yeah. Rosa darling, you're standing in the sun. Squint your eyes, take a deep breath, and think of six lamb shops. Oh, Mr. Schultz, you're going to take my picture. Yeah, that's right, Rosa. Just a look at her shoes. Shall I smile? Yeah, yeah, yeah, smile. Open your mouth wide. How does she look, Schultz? Like Mount Vesuvius starting to erupt. I better step back a little. I ain't got all of you in the picture yet, Rosa. How's it now, Schultz? Rosa, you're going to have to stop smiling. I can't get in the top of your head. Maybe I should have back some more. How's it now, Schultz? Luigi, if I try to squeeze in any more here in this camera, it's going to explode. Yeah, well, all right, Schultz, take the picture. All right, Rosa, now don't move. Go away, Rosa. Oh, darling, you pushed me. Yes, it adjusted the time. Rosa, go right in the house, up the stairs into your bedroom. Go, go, go. Luigi, I could have you arrested for taking the pictures of my daughter. That's a press person under my property. Schwally, that's like owning Zentral Park. Nobody can keep us out of Zentral Park. Look, Mr. Delicatessen, a man, I'm going to thank you to keep you busy as in your own nose. Schwally, you've got no right to stop me. How am I going to show my mom and me what Rosa really looks like? You ain't. Because from now on, you want a big black veil on her face. No. Yes. And if you want to picture her face, you're going to have to lift the iron curtain. All right, Schwally, you think I'm going to give up, but I'm not. I'm going to get a picture of Rosa, or my name, Anthony Luigi Basko. What is it, Schultz? What can I say? Come on, Sam. So what does she have got a veil over her face? We take a picture anyway. The 250 pounds are still going to stick out. No, but for Schultz, there's got to be a whole picture facing everything. But my mom and me has no belief. I just look hopeless. No, wait, wait. I got it, Luigi. Smile. Into my head, an idea just pooped. Yeah, what? What is this? You invite Rosa to the park. I know she wouldn't refuse you. And then I hide in the bushes with the camera. You make her lift the veil and click, click. I got the picture. But how am I going to make her lift the veil? Easy. You promise her a kiss. What other ideas do you got for Schultz? Now, Luigi, it's for your own good. But Schultz, how's it going to look? In the broad daylight, Rossin may sit on a parking bench and may try to kiss her. I can't do it. All right, all right, Luigi. Don't worry. I got a better idea. Nobody will see you, and it's going to be even more romantic. Come on. Schultz, Schultz, you think it's honest to tell Rosa I'm not going to kiss her just to make her a picture? Honest. Honest. Was Pasquale honest when he sent Lana Turner's picture to your mama and said it was Rosa? Remember that famous saying, Luigi? What the famous saying? You got to fight fire with fire. When in Rome, you got to do like the Romanians do. All right, sir. That'll be a dollar for one hour's rental of the robot. All right. Here you are, Mr. Robot. All right, just step over here. I'll help you in. Oh, wait a minute. You want your mother in first? Oh, I'm sorry, lady. All right, mister. You want your daughter in first? Fresh guy. Well, I'm allowed two mistakes. Mister, you want your wife in first? Fresh guy. If you must know, we are just friends who belong to a yachting club. All right, Rosa, you get in first. All right. No, no, mister, do it. Oh, no, no. That's all for that. Yeah, but I'm going to get a... That's all right, Luigi. Get in. You move over gradually. All right. And I want to stand up here with the oar. Hey, you sit down. You can't stand in that boat. That's all right. I'm pretending this is a gondola in Venice and I am the gondola here. Now, Luigi, I'll start the thing and you make love. Is he nobody's watching? I like the show, sir. Isn't this romantical Rosa? Yeah, I've never had a nightmare like this in any of my life. It's a beautiful sunny day. I guess so, Luigi. Oh, you're not the shooter, huh? Maybe you take off with a veil of roses so you can enjoy the sun. Oh, no, Luigi. Papa said I shouldn't take it off till he tells me. Well, it seems like a sham you should hide such a pretty face with a veil. How am I supposed to forget what your face looks like? Oh, don't worry, Luigi. I remember. Oh, Zola, you changed the subject, Luigi. Yeah. Oh, Rosa. Yes, Luigi. You know, you know, Rosa, you've got a pretty way to take them. Oh, thank you, Luigi. They're so nice. They look almost real. Oh, most, Luigi, they are real. I don't know. Yes, you do. All right, then approve. But I can't miss the veil. All right, then I don't know. Oh, Zola, you've got to start making love. All right, then I'm going to love you. I'm going to love you. Rosa, I'm going to love you. Yeah, I'm a love of you, you hear me? What? That's right. I'm crazy for you. Only one thing is about me. I'm going to hide the terrible room. What about you? Really? What? Well, they say you've got to wear a veil because you've grown a moustache. Well, then take off your veil and approve it. But I can't. Papa said no. Even if I'm going to kiss you? Kiss me? Yeah. Kiss you. Kiss me? Yeah. Kiss you. Movie dick. Shut up. What are we going to do? Station. Here comes Dan. Rosa, the rats. You're trying to prick my innocent adult, huh? Come there, Rosa. Step into my bowl. All right, doctor. Hey, look out there. Look out there, Rosa. You're too heavy with a first party. I'm going to throw a ball. Grab my leg and pull her back. Then this time I'm sure it's going to work. If not, I give up. Me too, Schultzer. Marriage, you can't be worse than this. Don't say that. You was never married yet. Now, you sit with her on the bench. I'm going to pass by. All right. Yeah, and I'm going to give you a dollar for lending me this. Huh, Sonny? Hey, Rosa. Rosa. Where are you, Luigi? I was just looking for your papa, but I couldn't find him. Oh, it's too bad. Papa would be so mad taking a bath with his clothes on. Well, that's your life. Here you are. Get your hot dogs. Nice, juicy hot dogs. I'm here to hit her, boy. I'm going to take a hot dog. Oh, here you are, mister. A delicious roasted, toasted hot dog with mustard and relish. Would you like one for your girlfriend? Rosa. Rosa, you like the one? Well. It's juicy, zittling, which buys us all beef on big. Oh, quick. Give me one. Here. Yeah, but Rosa, you can't edit the way you veiled. Then I'll lift my veil. That's right, Rosa. Keep up your veil. Look at the sun. Enjoy. Go out and take another bite. Smile, Rosa. I got it, Luigi. I got the beer jar. Check out the drug store here. Oh, good. Let me see. Hey, Schuster. Schuster, what's happening? Rosa must have moved. You only got a picture of the tree. What tree? That's Rosa. Yeah. Mama here. She's a big girl. What I thought was a branch is the hot dog. Schuster, Schuster, you're wonderful to do this for me. Now it's a help for me out everything, and I'm gonna have to marry Rosa. Yeah. Here comes your mailman, Luigi. Now, put the picture in an envelope and give it to him. Well, that finishes my squali. Now your mama can see what Rosa really looks like. Let her from your mother again, Mr. Masco. Special delivery. Special delivery. Oh, I'm about to open it up right away. Let me see. Dear son, Luigi, I'm hoping you didn't follow my advice in my last letter too fast. The whole family was sitting around and thinking about Rosa's picture, and we changed our mind. What? Uncle Pietro thinks she's a, she's a too skinny for her hard to work with. Aunt Margarita thinks she's a too pretty. That's gonna make you trouble always having to watch her. And Uncle Pietro's got decided everything. He's eight up with the picture. Luigi, take advice from your mama. Marry a big fat girl who's gonna look so good. She's always gonna be true to you, work for you all the time, and make the best wife. Oh, no. Mama near back to Rosa again. Folks, the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they'd like to remind you that a stick of delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Gum tastes mighty good when you're working, driving your car, or enjoying your favorite sport. The lively, long-lasting real mint flavor of Wrigley's Spearmint cools your mouth and freshens your taste, and you can enjoy the pleasant chewing right along with your other activity. So when you're at the store, be sure to include Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum in your purchases. It's a refreshing treat that you can carry in your purser pocket, and a treat you can enjoy almost any time and anywhere. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is produced and directed by Cy Howard. Mack Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as Basquale, Hans Connery-Buschelt, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Melving Joe Forte as Horowitz, and Ken Peters as Olson. Music is under the direction of Love Buskin. Friends, the Wrigley Company invite you to listen to their other program, the Gene Opry Show, every Saturday night over most of these same CBS stations. Bob Stephenson speaking, this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.