 Okay, it looks like we're on now But we had to disable the first one that was launched. So we had to relaunch the event All right, well, let's get started. Okay, so welcome to David Wong's live event and you probably already Have seen what's been, you know, we've seen what happened at the Oscars we've seen a display of anger and We've seen something very ugly kind of disturbing and it makes you think like Something that we should be aware of like how many of us has had Some altercations before in their life. So I'm sure that all of us has had some kind of Flair ups in anger people make us angry situations make us angry and Sometimes we may have said things or done things that we wish we didn't do and we regret doing those things Who's had that experience before? Yeah so if you're a human most likely you've been angry once before and some people are More tend to Be more angry than others. By the way, can you guys hear me if you can just type in a chat and say hi? Yeah, so that's why saying sometimes Things may get out of hand but sometimes You have all the time you have control over how you can respond to it so Unfortunately, there's some people on the planet that have Tendency to be quick to anger and then there's also some people who Tend to be able to keep their peace and keep calm in even the most Stressful situations. So which one are you? Are you someone who can stay calm in a stressful? even You know threatening situation or use somebody who can who is who has a Short fuse and can easily blow up or easily Get angry and do something that you regret. So hopefully you're not someone like that, but sometimes we tend to you know, sometimes the timing may be bad sometimes Sometimes you just a lot under a lot of pressure sometimes circumstances are very stressful and at those times It's harder to control your anger. It's harder to control your emotions but in this in this Life session, I want to share with you some techniques and some skills that you can learn using qigong Meditation that will help you to help you control your anger control your emotions control your stress and is the Basic foundation of what you need to to know in order to control yourself and control any kind of emotion So how do you guys like to learn about that? So yes if you do All right, so some very simple ways of controlling the anger the number one most important thing that you can do is learn How to breathe? So when you get angry what happens, right? The energy or the tension starts to build up in your chest and sometimes you get so angry it gets up to your throat your throat gets constricted and Sometimes get angry so angry your gets up to your temples and then eventually, you know goes to the top of your head And that's when you get a blackout sometimes or that's when you get a red out your eyes start to Show the blood vessels and your your face starts to turn red. So that's when you know that The you know, you've almost you basically hit the hit your your limit So notice that the energy is going higher and higher up to your head. So Generally speaking what you want to practice is to practice getting the energy to fall down let getting the energy to to Relax getting the energy to go downwards From your head down back to your throat down back to your chest down to your gut and then actually down through your feet if you can so First of all, we're gonna show you a breathing exercise and it's very simple so when you're angry usually you're like your heart rates high and You have all this energy, right? So first of all, it may be hard to breathe slowly. So first just breathe Just take deep breaths like that Just be through your nose take deep breaths fill out your lungs and Try to breathe if your stomach because you're gonna notice if you're really tensed and really stressed out You're gonna start breathing with your chest With your chest, right? But what you want to do is practice breathing with your tummy with your stomach. So So as you're breathing in your stomach is gonna get bigger and as you breathe it out your stomach gets smaller. So You can't see my tummy, but you should just see So practice stomach breathing you can see my stomach Moving back in and out. That's what you want to do. You want to feel your stomach moving in and out So practice that when you're not angry. So, you know when you're angry you can Consciously breathe in that pattern Okay, and just by doing that breathing from your stomach that actually lets the energy fall back down to your center Right because that's your center. That's your dan tian. That's your core. That's your where all your chi is stored so when you're breathing from your stomach and actually Kind of lets the energy fall back down towards your center now you can if you need now If you need even like a stronger method like you're really really angry and that's not working Then what you can do is you can now breathe through your Before I was just reading through my nose, but what you want to do is now the second level is to breathe through your mouth So breathe through your nose and then breathe out your mouth Like that. So you'll have a more forceful breath coming out. Still use your belly when you breathe Now if you're doing it when you are not angry you're starting you're gonna just start to get dizzy because You're getting too much oxygen in your in your bloodstream, but when you're angry This really helps because it helps you to Get the blood moving again and then relieve the tension Especially in your face and in your chest and your stomach So that's level two. Okay. Now if you want if you're really really angry Now we're gonna move on to level three. Okay. We're really really angry and you're just about to explode You can't take anymore You go to level three, which is this so you breathe in hold it Hold everything squeeze everything into your tummy like imagine you're squeezing on your muscles and all the muscles are contracting towards your tummy, so and then Forcefully blow it out of your mouth like like that and then Shake your hands down like like you're shaking off water like flinging the water off your hands and Then blow down towards the ground with your breath like that. Okay, so as forcefully as you can take a deep breath through your nose Hold it for a second Feel it in your chest bundle up all that tension and then Imagine you're blowing it out down into the ground through your mouth like a forceful blast of energy So that's level three you guys got me So those are three levels just from breathing just a breathing technique and I think that alone can take down your Your anger level Probably at least 50% if you do all all those things like if you if number one doesn't wear go to number two Number two doesn't wear go to number three and number three usually can take care of that now if you have If you want to add a little bit more notice that I all with all my techniques all these techniques We were actually sinking the energy. We want to direct the energy back down to the ground. That's why we would forcefully blowing it down to the ground because actually Psychologically and also physiologically you are forcing the energy back down through your body. Okay now the thing you can do is Thumb your chest At the same time so when you get Really stressed out and angry usually there's a lot of build up of energy in your chest a lot of tension So what you're gonna do is thumb your chest and then combine that with number three So you can call this number four you can do number three, but while you're Blowing that air out you want to thump your chest You can use both hands and thumb your chest like this Notice it is your diaphragm here And this is your solar plexus. So Okay, so do that forcefully Hit yourself thumb your chest. Don't you may hit yourself enough so that you can feel it Don't hurt yourself, but hit yourself hard enough that you can feel it so that's number four and that will help you to Loosen up that tension and then prevent that tension from getting higher and higher of your head and up to your eyes and just like Start to blow steam out your ears so those are four breathing techniques that you can easily do and Let's say that you're having an argument with someone you can start with just number one just breathing more intensely and Just breathing slowly and at first you may breathe faster But what you want to do is consciously count as a second technique is to count down from 10 to 1 so you can count 10 in your mind you're counting from 10 to 1 so you're breathing and you're counting 10 breaths And you're slowly slowing down your breath three Two One and then as you get down back to zero notice that your breath will start to slow down So you may start off quick fast and you want to slow down as you count back from 10 to 0 and Slowing down your breath so you can do that when it so you don't have to look weird and you don't you won't have to Make the person wondering what you're doing because you can just be doing this in your mind and you can just be breathing and People won't get mad if you breathe. Okay, most people won't get mad because you're breathing. Just breathe deeply and And that should help the situation That should help you to calm down yourself All right, so that's what you can do in this situation in an altercation when you feel like you're getting angry the other person's angry and you want to First calm down yourself now when you have an argument with someone it only usually takes only one person to Start the calming down process or start the this the escalation. Okay, the problem arises when both people Get angry and then the fight breaks out, right? You don't want that to happen So at least one person needs to stay calm in order to keep it from escalating So if you're that person then what you need to do is to learn how to do those breathing and another thing you can do is to Not talk so okay, so depending on what how angry that person is let's say that person is really angry and they're like Swearing and then they're like shouting and they're even screaming and they're doing like very aggressive hand motions And there's getting in your face and stuff like that. So what you do is um first of all calm yourself down breathe and Just don't say anything at that time because when you say something during when they're super Extremely angry doesn't matter what you say a lot of times even though if you're If you you know trying to calm down a lot of times It may get make them even more upset. Okay, so sometimes it's okay to stay quiet now If the person starts to calm down a little bit and they're less angry then you may start to talk and Obviously the first thing you want to do is to well not obvious but some people Don't know this but try to apologize. Okay Say sorry even though, you know that the person is wrong and you're right doesn't matter Just forget about who's right who's wrong just apologize right off right away. Just say sorry I'm sorry. I'm very sorry for what I said or what I did Is there anything I can do or say to help you to not be you know to calm down or help you to You know solve help you to feel better or help you in this situation situation to to help you to you know Stop shouting or help you to stop Help you to stop or help you to feel better. Okay, so So Apologize that's the first thing and that's that's they're actually pretty tough thing for a lot of people to learn is Because you know, you're right and then their person thinks he's right and and you don't want to let go of your pride You don't want to get let go of the fact that you're right But the thing is the more you argue the more upset you're gonna get and then in the argument Usually nobody wins. Hope people to stay angry both people are gonna stick to their guns and not gonna change their mind anyway, so I my opinion and from my experience is that is better just to apologize and and First apologize and second is is see if you can See the prospect see the situation from the other person's perspective So let's say they're angry at you for something yet You said or something you did but you didn't mean to say that But you you but and you know that you know, you didn't mean to say it or you didn't or maybe you He or he said something that you That you don't agree with but that's okay. Just relax and Try to understand their perspective like What's making them mad? What did they see you say or do to make them that mad or? what is Their perspective of the situation or the circumstance or the idea to help them to make them think that Perspective all right, so It's a pretty hard especially when you're in the middle of the thing But that's why it's so important to calm yourself down first because unless you're calm Unless you can control your own emotions. You won't be able to Do that you won't be able to you'll just be so consumed with your own anger and your own emotions that You're you're just you just want to fight, right? You want to either be aggressive or passively aggressive and neither of those are good so So that's so so hopefully you get to that point Okay, so that's after you do the breathing after you calm down after you apologize and after they've Calm down a little bit enough so that you can actually talk a little without them getting more upset Okay And then from that point You want to also validate their feelings and You can say something like okay. I understand you're angry. I understand you're stressed out I understand you're feeling really mad or you fear if you feel Furious understand why you'd be so furious. I understand why you so so angry You know if they're saying oh, I'm so angry or you you're pissing me off or use those words that they're saying so that You can connect with what they're saying. So they're saying oh, I'm so angry at you is okay I understand you're angry at me Understand and then you ask okay. What what am I what did I do to make you so angry or what am I what did I say that? I make you so angry so try to understand their perspective and they're gonna say okay You said this you said this you did this and then you say okay understand You know, you know, I'm sorry that I said those things. I'm sorry. I did those things And sometimes you didn't even say or do those things you didn't even mean to say those things But they took it the wrong way, but that's okay Just relax Okay, don't try to defend yourself and just say okay understand. That's why I said I'm sorry. I said those things okay, I'm sorry I did that to you and and Don't don't attempt to like defend yourself and say oh, I didn't say that I didn't mean that oh, that's not what I mean or Just just understand from their perspective because at that point they don't have the capacity To understand what you're saying They don't have the capacity to to hear and listening to what you're saying because they're so angry at the point They're their logic is out the window. It's just all emotion right now. It's just all anger and it's just all emotion So you have to appeal to the emotion. You have to connect with the emotion. Otherwise, you won't be able to Deescalate the situation. All right, so let me just recap because first of all calm yourself down do that with breathing Okay, whatever whatever breathing method that I explained do to count down in your head and then don't talk wait for the person to The you know the intensity level that will drop down a little first Okay, that may take some time If they're really angry, they may be going for a long time. So have the patients keep breathing while that's happening and And then apologize say you're sorry Whatever that person said you did just say you're sorry even though Even though they're you think they're wrong and you think you're right just say your sword Okay, try to mean it as as much as you can even though you don't feel like it try your best to Mean to say your story. Okay, try to really get into this. Okay. I'm sorry. I made you feel this way I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry that I did this to you Okay, and The next step is now if you get to this point and the person has calmed down a bit and You start, you know, you're attempting to to apologize you're attempting to to understand your feelings and validate their feelings But for some reason That's not working okay, so at this point the longer that this argument or this altercation goes on then Probably the worst is gonna get it's not going anywhere. So at this point You may want to do something that Let's you to both people to take a break. All right, so both people to take a step back So you can say something. Okay. So, okay, I understand that you're really upset, but I don't think that this is going anywhere I know you're really mad and I want to help you but right now I don't think we're going anywhere with this conversation, you know Can we take five minutes and then come back and we can talk about this in five minutes or in 30 minutes Or in one hour or something like that. So see if you can You know get some space and So that both people can cool down. Okay, see that say see if you can do that and That's the nice way of doing it and because sometimes what you can do is you can just shut off and just like leave and that makes the other person more upset and You don't want to do that because Then the other person thinks that you're just leaving the situation and they maybe Get more angry. Okay. So When you say, okay, let's take a pause And then mutually agree on the time to continue this because one thing that happens if you take a pause Okay, let's talk about this later Then the other person may think okay basically later never happens and then they may be very stressed out even more thinking that oh, we're just gonna Sweep this under the carpet and pretend and then not actually deal with the situation not actually deal with the problem So what you can do is to Say, okay, I think we should take a pause You know, can we come back in 10 minutes or can we come back at 30 minutes or can we come back in one hour? All right, so whatever time you both agree on so you both have time to cool down and you both have time to think about what was said and then Have time to at least cool down That's the most important part. So when when you cool down Then you can come back and then you can talk about the the issue and then see if you can solve the issue Okay, so that's Kind of like the steps that you can take When you get into arguments or when getting an altercation such as that and it prevents the It helps to prevent it getting out of control. Okay, because It gets out of control when two people are getting angry and two people Don't want to back down both people don't want to admit I don't want to apologize then then they butt heads and then that's when things kind of explode and gets really ugly so you don't want that and at least If you're the person that can calm down the situation that at least you can you can prevent that from happening Okay, so is this helping you guys? Let me know in the comments. Let me know in the chat I'm just kind of sharing with you You know some tips that I've learned with altercations and so on All right, so So that's in the situation. That's the tactical thing to do the strat strategic thing to do if you want to learn how to be a calmer person in general and if you want to be less angry in general, let's say that you are a short temper Let's say you're on the other side. Okay, you're the person who has a bad temper you're the person that tends to get upset and get stressed out easily and you just have like a Rolling tension and roller anger and you want to and don't know what to do And you don't and you realize that you've hurt people you realize you've done things that You regret say things that you regret and you don't want to do that again. You want to heal heal yourself Okay, so this is something you can do a meditation technique and breathing technique and do When you're not in the situation so when you have time when you're meditating practice this So in China traditional Chinese medicine, they say that the liver which is on your right side here My camera's flip. So this is my right side And it goes up to here. Okay, so it goes from here and mostly up to the right side around just You know inside your rib cage. That's where your liver is. It's one of the larger organs in your torso So Um So interestingly is that if you have a weak liver You tend to have anger issues But if you have a strong liver you tend to be nicer to people isn't that interesting? so That's why people who have Drinking issues drinking problems that you know, they're constantly stressing out their liver because they drink too much alcohol tend to get angry very easily And so hopefully that's not you but if you are then you know that you need to work on your liver And one way to do that is to do this healing sound. So if you go Just like this shushing someone but you go That's the healing sound and the healing motion is you're going to put your hands to get like this Stretch it up and then lean your head back and go You try that right now if you're watching this right put your hands together Stretch the hands up and then lean back look up And do that and while you're doing that you want to imagine that the energy there's like this dark energy is Coming out your mouth and then just basically dissipating into the sky And what you want to imagine is green light green light Going into your body Lightening up lighting up your liver imagine is turning bright green When you're doing that you can imagine There's a green Flowers or green plant life. That's very lush and very healthy kind of Permitting through your lungs and through your whole body Why are you doing that? So what that does it helps you to? dissipate the stagnant or blocked Energy in your liver so you can refresh it and then visualization The color green is actually the color that's going to help your liver and the color green is supposed to Help you to Well, what do you imagine when you feel the color green is like the green light right green light for go green for plant life green for peace, right? So green is a color Psychologically has that effect. It kind of makes you feel peaceful makes you Okay, it makes you feel peaceful so Another thing you can do is actually to wear green Isn't it funny? My screen is turning green right now Okay another thing you can do is to wear more green and because you're going to kind of With your or it's going to affect your aura, but you don't believe in aura's then basically you're subconsciously Subconsciously program your your mind to see green and to have more of that color affect your your psyche so those are things you can do and other things you can do is massage and Accu-pressure so when you're upset There's some special massage points that can help you to calm down the first one here is the temple, right now You know when you're stressed out you're gonna feel Tension here you're gonna get a headache if it's too much tension So one place to massage is just those temple right there and use two fingers and use three fingers Just massage your temples like that. Okay, and Then it'll be good if you're doing the breathing and you're visualizing the green color as well just imagine You're breathing Bright vibrant green energy Into your liver and then when you breathe out you're breathing out the dirty stagnant Can be black or brown or gray energy that's that's being stuck. So breathe in green Breathe out the dirty colors And that may help you relax a lot to help you to Relieve any stress or relieve your anger. So that's one's point another point is actually in between your eyebrows here So you can do you can just use your thumb and Massage it like this and do the same thing It's actually very relaxing even if you're not Angry it's a good way of just relaxing. It's just massaging those points. It helps you relax You can switch hands if you want You can use your your the back of your thumb knuckle. You can go like this as well See what I'm doing. Okay You can use this knuckle whatever knuckle works for you that you can get a nice Nice massage. Okay, another thing you can do is actually use the back of your thumbs like this and Go like this on your eyebrows. So you're spreading that tension From your on your forehead and moving it down to your temples Past your ears So you're moving it Down your ears and your ears and your where your ears meet your jaw. There's usually a lot of tension there, too so so Another place you can massage is your face here Underneath the cheekbone like kind of like this towards your ears Underneath your cheekbones from your sinuses down to your cheekbones like this You can use both fingers You put some moisturizer on so you get that smoother and Then your jaw down your down your neck here like this From the ears down your neck like this. All right, so basically you move the energy From your forehead down to your temples your face to the back of you to their to your ear ear lobes or so and then jaw Down your throat and you can massage your throat like this Okay, another part to the massage is it's right below the base of your skull this here so you can do that massage This helps you to relax as well So you just use your fingers or you can use your knuckles like this You use your knuckles, right so all those massage and acupressure techniques are helpful for Relaxing you if you have a gem laser this is actually really good for that because you can just put it right here and turn it on and Now you just stimulate that Chakra center. Actually, that's where your pitiratory gland is as well. So It will help you to stimulate that and the laser goes right through your skin and Stimulates those meridians better than needles in my opinion Actually, there's been scientific research done that you can You can empower or activate your meridians more effectively using laser rather than needles. So hey Isn't that great? No more lead no more needles is needed. Okay, so you can see here and You can put it there and you can put it on your temple here I think my computer speed is too slow. That's why the green screens come out and turn it up Okay, so if you have these you can put it right up to your temples here and you can You can you can use the light pattern like this and I can feel The photons on my head and it's actually helping me relax so these are Actually calibrated to the wavelength that Stimulates yourselves and helps you relax It actually does a lot of other things as well. There's a red light therapy And the cool thing is actually you got a gem on here. You can see there's a gem. This one's a parallel gem So it helps you see create these patterns and Also, you get to activate the gem energy and you can use it for acupressure. You can actually push down onto it onto Onto your pressure points like that. So that's really helpful So I feel my head clearing up already as well helps to clear it up next part is the It's the jaw right here behind behind the jaw here So all these points that I'm pointing to with my gem laser. You can just Use your finger or you can just use You know some even some pens are around and you can use it to just massage with it And then your throat Okay, that's very important because a lot of times our throat get really tense When we angry so massage your throat like this and you can use a laser as well And you can use it on the on the back of your hand these points as well Okay, so those are some points that you can do you can stimulate either with laser pens or with Acupressure pens massage wands or or just your hands or fingers Okay Okay, so those are lots of things I can do so I showed you What to do when you're you want to just escalate a altercation or argument and Things I can do right on the spot. So you prevent it from escalating. I showed you some breathing techniques I showed you some mind techniques a countdown and then how to diffuse the situation verbally and what kind of mindset and attitude to have so that you can better Solve the situation and also showed you some strategic things you do when you're not in the argument when you're just relaxing and Techniques and practices you can do so that you can lower your stress levels lower your anger levels so that you can live for a half year and Be more stress-free. Okay, so that's What I'm gonna show you and that's all I have to show you in this lesson. It's pretty quick and short But I think if you practice those things You're going to be a lot calmer and you're gonna be Having a lot less anxiety and you're gonna be a lot less angry Okay, any questions? Michael says I learned to stretch up and do to the left when you do the liver sound. Do you agree that variation? Oh, yeah, so Some people stretch to the left Yeah, that's useful too because your liver is on the right side here. So I'm stretching to the left here And then kind of opens up The liver here is kind of the stretching out that area. That's good too But why not stretch both sides then just go Yeah, stretching the left Like this is good Both ways are good. See when you whenever you're stretching out the organs and opening up your chest That allows a lot of the Bad energy bad bad etheric energy Anything stuck in your order aura to get released. So not just your liver Basically anything that's stuck in any of your organs get released. So so yeah, you can do to the left And you can go to the right and go backwards just combine all those things All right, so let me know what you think like what what do you think? Will Smith could have done differently in that situation. What do you think? Chris rock could have done differently and Let me know what you think should have happened and Let me know what you would have done in that situation if you were will smith and uh, how you would have Kept your cool or how you would have You know Handle it better So that's all for today and until the next time Use a chi and prosper