 Hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Johnathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, the four secrets, the four secrets to get them addicted to you using masculine energy. Should we do masculine like this? Like this masculine? Anyway, really quickly, if this content here resonates with you, please do me a favor, hit the subscribe button, hit the bell. And if you like this video, please smash that like button as well. Okay, we're going to talk about the four secrets to get them addicted to you using masculine energy. Now I want to share a story with you first. And this actually relates to a date that I had, oh, gosh, about seven years ago. This was shortly after a significant relationship of mine ended. Well, not shortly, it was about seven months after my significant relationship ended. And I met this fantastic woman. And I'll never forget our first date where we went to a total dive bar. And I went to the bartender got us a round of drinks and it was time for our second round of drinks. And she leaned in and said, I've got it. I go, no, no, I've got it. And she goes, no, I've got it. And I go, no, no, I've got it. We got into a little pissing match. Now some of you might be thinking, well, that was her being in her controlling masculine. But that wasn't what was really happening. And I want to explain why and then I'm going to share with you the four secrets. So what she did next floored me and she put her hand on my arm and said, Jonathan, I really appreciated that you treated the last round. Would you allow me to show my appreciation and treat you this round? Can you receive from me? And those were her almost her exact words. And in that moment I was floored. Now I'm going to share with you in a second why. But I said, of course, and we went on to have a great day. Now the relationship didn't work out because it was long distance. And there were some other complications. And that's one of the challenges you have when you do a long distance relationship. But I don't want to get into that because, you know, there was some really significant things that came out of this relationship. And the significant thing I noticed in the awareness of this was a couple things. And that's what I want to lean into today. Now really quickly, I shared this exact story in a group that I have or men's group I'm in where there's over 15,000 men. And I want to say and I shared the story. And I want to, I think over a thousand men commented and there were comments were like this. She's one of a kind. She's a unicorn. Don't let her go. She's partnership material. She's special. She's that unicorn, okay? Now what the men appreciated is what I'm about to share with you today. And I'm going to talk about masculine and feminine energy. Because here's the thing. Masculine energy is doing and feminine energy is receiving. Masculine is doing. Feminine is receiving. Masculine energy is not about control. It's not about rules. It's not about, so when she took charge, you know, it's not about taking charge per se. But when she took charge, she wasn't being controlling. She was coming from a place of generosity. And so we could argue some of the feminine energy coaches argue that that's masculine energy in a negative way. But I'm here to say that we all exhibit doing and receiving in relationship. It's impossible not to be doing and receiving the problem with the characterization with masculine and feminine energy. The idea is feminine energy is soft and kind and compassionate and loving. Well wouldn't you want to go out with a man who is kind, compassionate, loving? Would you characterize him as a feminine man? Of course not. Because these are qualities we all want to experience, okay? I'm going to get to those four secrets in a second, okay? But I'm here to say it is through action that we actually begin to bond with another person. It's just through their ability to be kind, compassionate, loving and through their actions is how we get addicted to them. So here are the four things, these secrets I want you to start applying in your life. First and foremost is giving attention. So going back to the story, in that moment when I was ready to pay the next round, she leaned in. She didn't lean back. She leaned into her sovereignty and gave me attention by saying, I want to acknowledge you in this moment, Jonathan. So number one is giving attention. Number two is affection. Remember I shared with you she put her hand on my arm. She put her hand on my arm. Now really quickly, if you're not familiar with the five love languages, physical touch is one of the top love languages for both men and women alike. So that giving affection by touching my arm and just feeling me in that moment had me so turned on by her. So attention, affection. Next was appreciation. Remember the word she said, Jonathan, I want to show my appreciation. Show, which is an action, which is a masculine energy. It's not a negative energy. It's actually a very positive energy. Masculine and feminine energy are positive energies. They're not negative energies. So attention, affection, appreciation. And finally, and this is so critically important, most men complain about this when it comes to women, not feeling accepted for who they are, not feeling accepted for who they are. This is one of the reasons why if you're not familiar with the, my first book I ever wrote is called Understand Men Now, the Relationships Men Cumit Two and Why. This, by the way, I'm going to be candid with you. The book's a little bit cheesy and it was written with my old consciousness before I evolved into a deeper level of, well, deeper level like this book, my second book called What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway. But while I'm sharing this with you, my first book about understanding man is that, my little teddy bear. By the way, this teddy bear has a crystal heart in it. One of my clients gave it to me as a gift. I am so grateful for that. It has a little crystal heart. I believe it was blessed by Shaman or something like that. But anyway, understanding how men operate. Now ladies, I look, I get this sounds very one-sided, okay? Men should be making just as much effort as you are because I'm a big proponent that a relationship is a two-lane street. Is this sinking in, if it is, please hit the like button. Are you, is this sinking in that it's a two-lane street? It's not princess energy where the man is chivalrous and claim you because a true lady is a lady of action. Feminine, you know, a woman and a man should be able to give and receive. Remember, she said, can you receive? If I was unable to receive, that's a problem that's going to resonate later on in the relationship. Now, I'm not suggesting you have to do this on a first date. I'm just giving you an example of how and remember, I said this to a men's group of 15,000 men. I want to give you an example of how men immediately treat you differently when you're an active participant in the dating process. And that's my invitation for you. Is this sinking in? I hope it is. If you have some thoughts about this post-it below, I know there's going to be a lot of criticism about men are supposed to pay. But here's the thing. Ladies, at midlife, we are dealing with a whole new ball game and men want to feel attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance right from the very first date. And let me just say this, they should be giving the same to you as well. And if they're not, then maybe it's not the right relationship for you. And you don't want them addicted to you or you don't want to, yes, exactly. All right. I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Again, please share your thoughts and post a comment below. I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big, gigantic, Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to a friend, a pet, a teddy bear, a stuffed animal. This is salty, salty and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now.