 Sleep the tip of this cock off with a pair of scissors three years old Are we live man? Yeah. I think so bullshit Maybe look at this everyone you might be thinking what what the hell's going on? Even though which camera to look at I said crazy Right, so as you all know we had to Evacuate Michael's house it'll say there by the way a bunch of absolute f**k where it's holy shit and he left like a bit of plastic in the garden out of the front. So you're gonna have to organize to get that clean. Shut the fuck up. God, so petty, just pick it up. It takes like two fucking seconds to pick that up. Just put in the fucking bin, you dumb fuck. There was probably like, I guess like obviously. There was a few things scattered around. There was like 70 photos. Yeah, but like a random shit. Jesus. Anyway, we're in James's garage until we find a house to live in. We're on the hunt. There's a huge rent shortage at the moment in Brisbane because everyone fucking rented the fuck out of shit. You know, COVID, everyone moved here and now there's nowhere to live. And we can't find a place. And we're out of filming James's garage. Thank you, James. He's a good man. Here we fucking are. This is, yeah. Until we find something more permanent and then, yeah. But like, we're gonna have to rent another house and then set up a set there. So we'll have to move again by the end, before the end of this season. And then hopefully when we buy a fucking place, eventually we'll have to move the set there and then it will stay there forever. But it feels right in the garage. Yeah, it's nice here. We don't have a green screen. Let us know in the comments what you fucking think about that shit. Personally, I kind of fucking dig it. Yeah, the garage look is very ass. It's more on brand. Yeah, exactly. Do you like it, Mr. Brown? Yeah, I'm pretty cozy in here. Well, like trailer park trash is where we belong. Matt looks real comfy on his little chair. Fucking shit, fuck off, then come to. Sorry. What's happened? We pranked Julian today. Pretty good. Have we told you? No. Where do we said to him, hey, Julian, we're filming a video of getting a plain tattoo chicken. Wait, this won't be our. Yeah, I know. Okay. Sorry. It's fucking good, though. We pranked, we get Julian, he gets it anyway. You'll see it. It's coming out. Yeah, we pranked Julian and it's to do with tattoos. And other than that, we've just been busy filming. I went to Sexbow with Amber. Oh, was it good? No, it's like a, it was fun, I guess, with her, but it was really like. I just picture the creeps they're lining up to meet porn stars. There is some like. Did you go? I would have, but no one wanted to. It's a great place to people watch. They could have been right there, you know, monks or creeps. You guys should have set up a store there. You guys would have had a great time. Yeah. Can you do that? We just set up a store. Well, you could just say, yeah, we're here. Yeah. I don't think many of our fans would be like, oh, I think there'd be a sex spot. Get a massage from Marty and Michael. Dude, I reckon, yeah, your fans at Sexbow. I reckon they'd be there. We'll often suck offs. And we'll suck everyone off. You can go to the Brown Massage. Yeah. And it's just you. Watching them. But it's violent. Anyway. I had an incident at my house. You guys didn't say it was a big deal, but I felt embarrassed. What'd you do? Oh, yeah, the cum bottle. Oh, yeah. So we can reveal that, yes, the cum bottle is in the works only because of this story. And basically, I had it out on the, like, the terrace. My dining table just in its own corner. And the terrace. And basically, I knew the next day that the guys that check your fire alarms to make sure they work were coming to do an inspection of my fire alarm, my smoke detectors. And I said to myself, all right, I've got to put that. Was he hot? I didn't see him. I wasn't there. But I said to myself, I've got to put that away somewhere. The cum bottle. The cum bottle. Yeah. It won't reveal how full this is, but it's shocking to see. But it would be. How full? Let's just say. You have a fucking problem. If he would notice that was calm, he would be like, what is this? What is he doing? You literally would have walked in and he would have. It would have been so clear because everything was moved away from it. It's just in its own little corner on the table. Like it would have stood out so much. Was he hot? I didn't see him. But I forgot to clean things up. What, tissues and shit everywhere? No, no, no, no. Your funnel? Did you have your funnel? Oh my God, your cum funnel next to your bottle of cum. So it was there. Like all the tools were there, like together. A porn on the screen? Still see your mum there? No, mum wasn't there. I don't live with mum. But yeah, fucking, yeah, they came in and then they left a card saying, hey, we've been. Like just letting you know. You should have wrote a card back saying, hey, I've come. Yeah, I've been too. Anyway. I've had. So I just picturing that they've come in and looked at the, and I've just been like. Imagine if he added a load in. You wouldn't know. It'd be helpful. Yeah, I'm so, I cannot wait to find out how many was done. Hey, you can't. He won't say. So like 10% it'll be done before the end of the season. I'm, it's, it's touch and go. Bullshit, really? Touch and go. What? 600 mobile touching. Yeah, but what? Like just do if you're doing an average three loads a day, which is what you do for personal use. Anyway, that's what you do. Well, how many times do you flaila claila? I'm lucky if I have time for one. Really? One a day. What do you mean busy? I'm busy. Before you sacrifice 10 minutes of sleep to slack off. One in the morning you wake up. One when you're at work in the stool. Do one where you shave. Do one where you can't do it at work. Have one where you're shitting. You're having a shit. I imagine having a shit bat. No, cause yeah, cause then. It's a shot. No, see, you don't want to do that because then suddenly that'll become a thing and you'll want to shit and get a heart off. And then jizz on your shit. Yeah, top deck. You're gonna top deck chocolate. You'll start relating shits with boners and things will get very weird. Imagine, oh man, okay, I'm getting some weird visuals here. But that's, that's fucked that. So someone out there, he probably listens to the podcast. I hope he does. If you saw a bottle of cum, that's his. And we're sorry about that. Okay, there was no way meant to be like it. You weren't hitting on him. It didn't trigger you. Let's just say the bottom is looking weird. Rather fucked. I can't wait to see this in experiment. I'm kind of upset with this. I want you to skull it. Yeah. I will. I will. I'll fill it for a fee. How much for you pay me? Nothing. I'll do it for 30 bucks. All right, I'll chip in for that. I was gonna say, yeah, it takes a lot. I think I should be congratulated on my, like my sanity that I've been able to stay as a normal person and maintain a cum bottle at the same time. No, no, no, no. Well, you don't just have a congratulatory experience. Like the golly bottle didn't send me insane. I know, but what it takes for a person to maintain this for so long. Oh my God. I just thought of the best. Okay. You laugh, you lose. You're gonna pour it on yourself. No, no, no. You gave it away. No, no, no, no. Yep, you're gonna do something where you're gonna smoke it. No, no, I was thinking Brown could appear in the third series for the website of You Laugh, You Lose. Our most famous series on the side. If you know us and, or if you haven't subscribed to the website, that's probably our most fucked shit. And you could make a cameo slash appearance in the ring for the podcast itself though. Or mind cooking with it, seeing if there's some sort of pancake you can make. I don't know how I feel about anything. It's quite fucked. There is a- Come cake. There is a very strong yet unusual smell. I don't wanna hear about the smell. Where's the guy hot? I don't know. Okay. I'll give him a call. Anyway, guys, we'll give you a quick rundown on the episode today, all right? So look, the line to Locky segment, I may have kind of fucked that a little bit yesterday. We are at Tucker. So we haven't done Tucker for fucking months. It's our first game back. We all played incredibly, by the way. Very well done. Oh my God. At the end of Tucker saying goodbye and Matt goes, oh, I'll see you tomorrow. And Locky's like, oh, what's on tomorrow? And I was like, oh, the podcast. And he goes, oh, well, I'll know if I receive a call tomorrow from anyone that it's probably a fucking lie. And I was like, fuck it. I fucked it. But then I had a thought. We're gonna call Locky early on in the podcast and just pass off like we're trying to lie to him. We're gonna be like, oh, hey dude, like we're gonna do a lie. The sky's red. Yeah, yeah. We'll say something real dumb to him. So then he thinks that the segment is over. So then he will then relax. Then an hour later, towards the end of the podcast, we're gonna get Scott, one of his best friends and roommates, to call him and lie to him. And then while his defenses are down, he'll think, oh, it's not Martin, Michael, they've already done it. They've failed. Then Scott will come in and drive a lie straight through his heart. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, so guys, before we get into anything with like sponsors and all that fucking, actually, should we quickly do fucking sponsors? Let's get the fucking dumb fucking sponsors. All right, now we'll quickly do it. Yeah, yeah, fuck it. Because they want to be close to the beginning. We'll keep it short. They want to be close to the beginning and they love that, Matt. All right, so you fucking coward cunt, you dumb fuck pig, pig dog cunt, fuck you. You sitting there, sitting on your fucking seat, listening to us, go to manscaped.com, all right? They've got the fucking best shit you've ever fucking seen, you ugly pig dog shit-piss. You're a wanker shit-piss walking around with your fucking dumb slut legs. No one knows nothing about you and you're a stupid dick bitch. You're a dumb cunt dog and you're fucked up about your life. How about you fuck off to manscaped.com cunt and use our discount cunt code fully actual 20 for 20% off. Tits and shit, tits and shit manscaped.com cunt slash fully actual 20 cunt, 20% off everything. Holy shit, they got some shit cunt. They got man shave you off. They got fucking sprays and goos and gumps to make you look much better than you do now, cunt. So fuck off back to fuck shit then, cunt and go to manscaped.com. I ain't fucking anymore, cunt. It's refined. Let's just say that. It's refined. It's refined. It's great. So look, you got undies, you wouldn't even think that. It's like manscaped sounds like a grooming thing but they have clothes. I still stand by the body wash as the best body wash I've ever used. I'm not fucking around. Dumb cunt. It is. So yeah, manscaped.com fully actual 20 for our discount. Fucking code, you fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. 20% off. Okay, it's free fucking money. He's still liking us. We haven't sent them this month's ads yet. We will have to on Friday. They're so intense. And we have a new guy. We have a new guy. We don't have Kyle anymore. We have a new manscaped guy. So he's gonna be hearing this for the first time, cunt. Oh no, Kyle knew us. Yep, Kyle knew us. He knew about us. He knew our style. This guy doesn't. We'll see what happens. This might be the last manscaped sponsor ad ever, cunt. Hey, it won't be. That was good. I think. Anyway, there are other sponsors. Of course, the University of Michael. And while you're listening to this, we've just posted. We've tried to, we're trying to see if you can eat ice cream, vomit it up and freeze it again, and eat it again if it's exactly the same. All right, and if you can live sustainably off of that. That's out on the website right now. Does it work? We'll have to watch, cunt. We'll have to fucking, exactly. So you can watch, you can sign up for free for 21 days to see that video and to see if you like the content. And if you like it enough, you can stick around, right? It's $10 a month, Australian, or like $7.99 US or something, cunt. It's helpful. It's just really helpful. It was like, what do we find out today? Now even like every single TikTok's taken back their reach. Yeah, TikTok's changed its algorithm. Now it's harder to get viral videos on TikTok because they want you to pay for the reach. Just like Facebook and YouTube and all the others did, TikTok has now run its course and boom. So we have to create our own little life society. Yeah, it was, everyone knew this day was coming. It's just come a lot earlier than I thought it would. I'm so annoyed at us for not put going hard on it. Hey, we did okay on TikTok. And we just started the TikTok podcast, the fully actual podcast on TikTok. It's up to like 80K. We just started that like a few weeks ago. Started posting regularly. So we really fucked up there too. Now this grind is gonna be so slow on the podcast which reminds me, please like, comment, subscribe, five star review on Spotify. This is the only way we grow the fucking podcast. And by the way, if you comment something, you were in the running to win $1,000. That's all you have to do. One comment and you're in the draw. We pick the winner of the any of all podcasts on season four at the end of the season. And so the more times you comment, the more entries you have. So if you comment a billion times, you will win that money. Oh, even less. I reckon if you commented like- A hundred thousand times. No, think about it. A thousand. Each podcast has about a thousand comments. You will have a 50% chance of winning if you do it on every single podcast. 40 episodes? Bang, you've got 50% likely gonna win it. So 40,000 comments, you're 50, 50 shots. And that will probably only take like what? A day? Two weeks. A day or two? That's 500 bucks a week. You could easily get a hundred out in like 20 minutes. You probably get like little flagged or something. You could copy and paste. Look at this. Anyway, that's the competition that we're in. You made that. Remember to fucking like and comment. Can't, that's good. I like it. Yeah. And five star reviews on Spotify. We're nearly at a thousand. Please, let's just get to a thousand. Fuck me. Anyway, that's enough begging. Let us now lie to Loki. So this, remember, we're not expecting this to work. This is the fake. This is the decoy lying to Loki. You're fucking ready to get in. All right. What should we say? Let's say that his mom is his dad. Yeah. Let's say something. Let's say we're at the front. Oh, you just put. Yeah. I'm at the front. Yeah. And then, and then, yeah. And then he was like, no, you know what? And then we're back. Yeah. And then we're like, yeah, sorry, dude. I fucked up. I told you a talk last night. And so we knew you were going to know anyway. So we still got you. Ah, the podcast there. Oh, yeah, dude. Fuck no, no, no. That's, we finished filming. I'm just out of the front. Are you at home at the moment? I'm at home at the moment, at the gym. Oh, you're at the gym. Fuck. So I'll just wait for you. For what? Well, I was just going to buy some weed off you. Yeah, I can give you some weed, mate. Fuck, it's just, it hasn't worked. He's not, I fucked it last night at Toca. And then we just fucking, this is, this is a fail. This is, this is everyone. This is what a fail looks like. No, this is, I know what this is. This is a fucking screen. There's something else coming. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is a lie. I'm going to lie. If only dude, if only. Maybe imagine if we were travelling to your house right now or we were out the front. Maybe we are out the front. We're doing it in the van at the front. We started doing mobile podcasts. That's so sick. Anyway. We knew you, we knew you were going to pick it straight away. Yeah, well there's nothing, I fucked it up last night when I said that we're filming the podcast. We thought it'd be funny, I was telling you, you'd be like, oh you're dickheads and we like getting called that now and then. Yeah, so go on. Go on what? Call us dickheads. Dickheads? Huh? Anyway, sorry about that, we'll be better next week. All right, we have some shit that's going to penetrate your fucking walls, can't, and you won't ever trust again, can't. Oh, I love it. Bring it on, I can't wait. All right, enjoy the gym, can't put it on your back. Bring it on, coach. See you're lucky, you're lucky. We're fucked. Fuck, he's on, he's so smart. As soon as Scott doesn't have the right tone of voice that he's used to with him, living with him, he's going to be like, you're bullshitting me, I just spoke to Marty like 40 minutes ago. It's like, that's what we do, he's called way. I reckon maybe, maybe this, let's go another decoy, right? I'm going to call Bailey his cousin. I think that's his cousin, is that right? Yeah, yeah. And also roommate, and we're going to initiate part two decoy, the part two will be Bailey. We call Bailey, right? We put him on loudspeaker and Bailey talks to him in the living room because they live together about something like, oh, there was a mess in here or can you take the, can you get the bin out or something? I can't think of it right now. He's at the gym though. Yeah, no, he'll be home by then. And then Bailey puts Loki on loudspeaker and he's not over the phone. It's not over the phone, so we can't be involved. It's live. So Bailey goes up to him with us on loudspeaker so we can hear Loki's voice and goes, hey dude, did you hear a new war is happening? Or something, I don't know, let's go with something easier. Oh dude, the bins didn't get taken today. Oh, like the bin man didn't come today. Something, and then he goes, oh really? Bang, we come into play on loudspeaker on the phone next to Bailey and that's how he- He might be at the gym for a while. We could even just, we'll recruit Bailey. We got Bailey to call him to do what Julian did last week and we'll get, Bailey's gonna be the fake decor. Does Bailey live with him? Yeah. We should get Bailey to- Let's keep Bailey as the real one. So we wait, we do Scott first and then Bailey after when they're together at home because he'll never, ever suspect it if it's not over the phone. Yeah, or you could use Bailey to set up Scott more by saying, hey, I think the real estate called today. They called Scott. Scott's gonna call us soon and tell us what's going on. Like you could bait him, like more into the- No, we need to separate the decoys if we connect them. You can't connect them. But I reckon we go Scott first and Bailey if we can get a hold of him now, we tell him to do the, put it, call us while we, while you talk to a lot of people. I feel we'll be able to hear him though. Yeah, a hundred percent we will. Loudspeaker can hear meters away. It's high tech 5G shit. All right, I'll try that. So Scott will be decoy number two and then Bailey will finish his off when he's home. Hopefully, Lockie will be home in an hour's time. So let's call Lockie now and explain what we want him to do. What's the lie we want him to do? Lockie? No, let's call, sorry, Bailey now and do the lie that we want him to do. Yeah, just ask what his number is. So I just want his phone number not, so I'm not calling him my fucking messenger. Something easy, something about the house. Like, oh, today, it pissed down here today. Like raining. There's no hot water. Like he just walks into the kitchen when Lockie's down and goes, dude. Yeah, yeah, what about that? Bailey just pretends like he's just coming out of the shower and says, boys, there's no hot water. Yep, okay, see, that's good. Borm, live to, fucking idiot, we'll believe that. And we'll be on the phone as soon as he goes. Really? Oh my God. Yeah. Bailey got you, you fucking dickhead. Yeah, dude, this is the best. Heaps of hot water. I live for this shit. Bailey? Can you hear me? I can. Are you, you're not at the gym with Lockie? I am. I'm on the other side of the gym watching him. Oh fuck, does he know, does he know that you've, can he see you on the phone right now? Yeah, he's not looking at me though. Okay, fuck, all right. Dude, he's on to us. He's on to our plan. We're gonna use, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna use Scott as a decoy. We're gonna get Scott to call him and lie to him about something. And then when you're home alone with him, when you're back at the house, you message me and we're gonna call you and you're gonna put us on the loud speaker, okay? And then you're gonna set the phone down near Lockie and then you're gonna say, oh fuck boys, the hot water's out. And then when Lockie goes, really? Then we're gonna come in and be like, you've been fucking lied to, can't. So he will, because he will, he will never expect it if, it's live without phone. If there's no phone involved, you know? He won't think, does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. All right, you're a fucking legend. Can you send me a message as soon as you're home with him? Yeah, right now. And message me your number on Messenger as well. Good luck, dude. The whole weight of the podcast is on your shoulders. You will be the unsung hero. Do you understand? This is a huge responsibility, baby. This is, oh, all right, dude. Good luck. I love you and we'll chat soon. We've made, this is Braveheart 2, the movie. Sort of, I think. Oh God, oh God. Okay, I'm gonna call Scott now. Okay, Scott's just messaged me. All right, so. That's too early. I reckon let's do some questions and shit, let's get back. It's gonna be time before they're back. No, he just said he's tired and shit, I'm gonna call the call. Sorry. Hey, Scotty. All right, so here's the new plan. We literally just, we just called Locky. All right, you're on the podcast, by the way. We just called Locky and he was like, we lied to him and he was like, oh, this is bullshit. I reckon there's something else coming tonight. So he's onto us straight away. So what we're gonna do now, Scott, is you're gonna be the decoy lie. All right, so you're gonna call him and do your best. He's gonna think, oh, this is a lie straight away. And then we're like, oh, fuck. And then later on, when he's home with Bailey, we've contacted Bailey. Bailey's gonna get in with the lie. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, are you home? No, yeah. Oh, I was gonna say, I'm almost home with my car because I've got it on the trailer. What car? My drift car. All right, what's we gonna say? Oh, bro, I've got a fucking tech, I was told Bailey and Haynesy, who was home today? All of us? Well, I got an email saying that we've got a fucking strike now and I'm actually being serious this time because what strike what? It's a fucking smell in the house. It's smell. I said you need to move that stuff that was in the bathroom. Because they said they smelled smoke. Who? And so the neighbor put a complaint in and that's what I reckon, because I obviously didn't come to a house inspection. And the same girl said to me that I had the neighbor saying they smelled something and they went to come to the house and they said, no, I'm home. And they said it's smell. And now we've got a strike on the name. They said there better not be any more smells when we're gonna do another house inspection over the next month. What the hell? Yeah. Oh, no. No. No, no, thank you. What? You there? Oh, right. What the fuck, that shit? I know. What did you know? You've been lied to, you fucking idiot. That is no strike, you fucking idiot. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, that deserves a beer. Can I have one more, please, James? You fucking idiot, you fucking dick, fuck. Oh, fuck. Lucky, you fucking called it and then you didn't follow through with it. We thought we were fucked this time. Oh, towards the end, I was like, I was like, no. This is just coming. How the hell did he find out without me? Fuck it. Oh my God, it fucking worked again. Holy fucking balls. Oh my God, I can't believe it. Oh, Scott, well done, man. Oh, dude, I thought you'd fucked it, but you managed to drag it back somehow. Me too, I was kind of like lose my life. Yeah, because, dude, I forgot it too. I was like, what's he meant to lie about again? I completely forgot. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm guilty of cursing, so I feel proud of myself. Oh, he fucking called it, and now he's fucking lied to. Anyway, Lucky, sorry about that, and we'll fucking chat to you next week. See ya, boys. Oh, you're such a dumb fucking cunt, Lucky. You are such a dumb. You got goth for it again, cunt. You are so stupid and dumb. Sorry. I'm pretty tired. I'll see you later. I'll see you later, boys. Sorry about that, mate. Thank you, Scotty, your legend. Thanks so much for helping. See you, dude. I'm like, now, now, I have to message Bailey, and I'm scared now because he's going to go out, because we can use this exact thing for next week. No, because this is, we've got to top it, so we're doing a double lie, so we're doubling it. But we'll use Bailey again for a phone call in time. So you want to still follow through the double lie? Still follow through. It's like, it's perfect. Look at Bosley right now. Oh, wow, Bosley. See the teeth? Yeah, he's missing a bit of a lip. Anyway, well, let me just quickly message Bailey, and then I'll let me explain to him, yeah. Oh, this is the, I can't, there's nothing better than lying to Lucky. The lie with Scotty worked. Very good. I didn't think that would work. He did really well. There was a point he paused out. Oh, this is, and then he sort of... He fucked up one of the smell, but then he pulled it back by saying that the neighbor complained. That was very good. Yeah, fucking Scotty pulled that out there, and I thought he was fucked from the beginning, but he's like, what, what are you talking about? Yeah, and just remember when he was pulled away from it, like, oh, this is this, thinking it's like, oh, it's a lie. But then he came back and goes, I think maybe Bailey in that moment backed him up. On this day! On this day in 1965, Elvis Presley was caught running an underground blind boxing competition. He would take blind people and put them in a ring to fight each other. The blind people would swing wild haymakers, not knowing where the opponent is, until eventually they would start connecting. Fucking hilarious. People would come and watch the spectacle and gamble on the fights. Elvis Presley pleaded guilty and was fined like $1,000 or some shit. Blind boxing still happens to this day. And even I go and watch these fights sometimes. It does sound like, I would watch that. I would, but I reckon they get way more tired before like a knockout. A lot of air swings. Just be like air swing and then like, think about it, if you throw three proper swings, you're waiting for that one perfect connect, like there will be one time, there will be one time where you haven't swung and you swing as hard as you can and you connect flush on the other cunt's face. Or even a palm, you just swing like this and your palm goes in through his nose and it pushes the bone into the brain. Have you guys ever experimented blind boxing? Oh, we've done blindfolded everything else. Man. Blind boxing. A bit unfair because of the weight difference. His reach is way bigger. It's fucked. And again, I just feel a bit bad. Punching friends as well would be very difficult. Put a stick in my hand. Now it's funny. Now we're all having a good time. Actually, that's a website video that we did recently. There's something personal about punching some cunt in your teeth. Can you hit him with a stick? It's just playful banter. That's very true. All right, let's move right along and we're going to get right into Michael's fucking Bible. Michael is a wise god and he's written all of his thoughts and wisdom down into a fucking fuckbook and he's going to fucking read an excerpt out for our benefit, you fucking dogs. So get this up your snout and make sure you take it in. Beezus could be a TV show. Yeah, Beezus. He's Beezus while he reads this. He's not Michael or Jesus. He's Beezus. He's a Renaissance. All right. This is Revelations 369. Oh. It's like down towards the end of it. Okay. Bees are bees, trees are trees and knees are knees. Bees simply see while being in the breeze. Trees throw freeing while never actually seeing and knees kneel never knowing whenever kneading. Bees can see knees, but knees can't see bees or trees. Isn't that the bees knees? 66.9% of beings being have started kneeling while never knowing what they're actually seeing. Sorry. That was very good. Wow. So it actually really struck a chord with me. I might read that back later when I'm alone and cry. Because it's so true. It's so true, Matt, especially that last part. Sorry, Matt. Anyway. Yes. Now wait, can I get high before this one? Boom. Boom. Michael's going to get so high after a few beers and then fucking hit a weed. He's going to come back like a fucking maniac. Fuck it. I'll have one too even though it slows my reading down and makes it sound worse. By the end of the season, he's going to be so distrustful. Oh my God. Come back. Come back. Bailey's just messaged me. He's in the kitchen. I'm having a fake shower. Wait. Okay. Wait. How did they get home so quick? They would have left straight after that. They're probably home now. Is this a setup? That's what I'm thinking. Guys, before we do the Matt's Black Book, Bailey has just messaged and said, he's in the kitchen. I'm having a fake shower. I'll call him when you ring to look at the water. So do we explain what Bailey was going to do? We did, right? I think so. Yeah. So Bailey, so scores meant to be our decoy. Our decoy works. But now we're going to double lie to Loki because fuck man, fuck him, right? That's what you get for being so gullible. So he's going to. And such a nice guy. I'm calling him now. Here we go. Here we go. Bailey's going to lie and say the hot waters. And this could be Loki trying to get us back. So everyone, we knew that before it started. So fuck it. Yeah. It's very strange always. I'm so quick all of a sudden. But anyway. Bailey. Hold up. Yes. Are you, are you having a fake shower? You guys got home very quick from the gym. Yeah. I'm going out there. Okay. Here we go. All right. He's coming. We're going to have a water. All the fucking water. Yeah. It's a water. People would guess a lot. We'd come. You've been lying to me. Fucking idiot. What is not out? Your heart water is still there. Idiot, you fool. What's wrong with you? Loki. Fucking you. Scotty was out second decoy. You were meant to know that he was lying and then Bailey was going to come in and fuck you up at the end with another lie. Well, we've double lied you tonight, can't. This is Christmas. What the fuck is going to go hate stuff, though? Is your middle name Gullible? Lachlan Gullible Gottfried. LGG. LGG. Son of a pain of my closest friends, eh? Oh man, no one is safe, everyone is lying to you. Always doubt everything that you're told, Lachlan. Anyway, sorry to waste your time again. We better get on with the podcast. Yeah, see ya. Alright boys, enjoy your time and enjoy your podcast, boys. I'll see you next week. Yeah! It brings it all inside of screaming, just like hung up, damn it. It brings like a meaning to life. Yeah, very good. Sorry we doubted you there, Bailey. That was fucking... Imagine if our whole podcast was just lying to Lachlan. Yeah, we changed the name to Lying to Lachlan. We became obsessed with it and dedicated every minute of every hour to just let people make sure people are lying to him, lie after lying. Or the live podcast where you can just do lie after lie to different friends. That's not illegal and like we're ruining his life, because after a while he wouldn't know what's reality and what's not. We really fuck him up and he just has to go to some sideboard. It's like he's trying to get therapy and she's like, I'm not lucky, am I? He thinks the therapist's lying to him. They've gone to you haven't they? You're all lying. And then they, we have? Yes, I believe that they have. Oh god. Yeah, we changed the lying podcast. That's the end goal with the whole lying to Lachlan. He's to ruin his life so much that he has to go to therapy and we will find out who the therapist is and then bang the ultimate lie. Am I lucky? Imagine him saying that. Yeah, we get that therapist to convince him that he's not lucky. Oh yes, thank you. Oh man, this is going to be hard to top every week, but like it took a lot of effort to get this one across the line. Well, think about it, you strung that together today. Yeah, it's true. So like we can come up. Locky is there to lie to forever. Imagine if we put two days into it. That is so true. I think we need to start recording the podcast on different days though, to throw him off a bit. Well now James has the garage for us. Yeah, that's so true. Imagine on a Tuesday right on the way to Toca. He's coming. Boom, easy lie. Or just do what Bailey did and just have it pre-recorded. So we call him, record it from another sort of source. So we can just do it whenever we want. I'll start doing it at like 3 a.m. Anyway, that's the end goal of lying to Locky. Oh we did it. All right, let's move right along. All right everyone, now it's time. For, yeah, it's probably the hardest segment of the whole podcast. It's Matt's black book and what he's done is he's written down about every sexual experience that he's had in his entire life and Matt went through a really dark stage in his life. So some of these are very graphic and very real and very confronting. So if you're easily offended or easily triggered, fuck off cunt. Fuck off cunt. All right, so a bit of a read. Stay fucked off. And stay fucked off. If you're easily triggered, fuck off and stay fucked off. That should be on a shirt cunt. Imagine having that should be on a shirt cunt on a shirt and says on a shirt. Hashtag. Hashtag as well. Shit, sorry. The word, hashtag. Anyway, last episode as you remember Pinocchio unfortunately passed away and then Matt went to Clancy's Soul which to Matt Brown means fucking the priest. Yeah, and it was quite a graphic fucking. And he's fucked a baby whale. Don't ever forget that. Yeah, a baby whale while its mother watched from the ocean. Remember Matt? Oh my god, a baby whale. And it's blow-holy fucked. Anyway, we'll move on. Sorry. Matt Blackbork have number 60. I was bathing in hookah blood and sucking on frozen steak chunks. I slid down so my head is completely submerged in the hookah blood. I feel the blood creep into my nostrils and I breathe in. It spills onto my lungs and I chuckle to myself. This is living. I feel relaxed, strong, healthy and powerful. I was finally ready to get my life back on track and become my family's primary hava. It was time to take Queston down. That cunt had been ruling for far too long. I get out of the bath and wait until nightfall. Tonight I attack and reclaim what's mine. The clock strikes midnight and it was time. I slither out from the foxhole where I lived. The cool my breeze kisses my skin and I sniff the air to get my bearings. I sort it through all the different scents and finally locked onto questons. I face backwards in the direction I want to go and begin bounding. I bounded backwards through the forest, on the highway and even over a river. I reached speeds of over 160 kilometers an hour, which was a new PB for me. This was the strongest I'd ever been. I arrived on the outskirts of Queston's house and quietly observed to get as much intel as possible. All the lights were off. Everyone must be sleeping. I get closer. I peek through the window. My eyes dart around the room like a meth rat. No one in the lounge room. I creep to the next window and once again have a peek. This reminded me of my peeping Tom days and I got a bit excited. I stare into the next room and sure enough, it's Queston's bedroom. I could hear him in the shower in his ensuite and I could see the lights spilling into the bedroom from under the ensuite door. I quietly open the window and crawl in. I sit on a chair and stretch my cock in and out a bit in preparation. My teats start lactating and I ruffle my feathers. The shower turns off and Queston opens the ensuite door, wearing nothing but a towel. He steps into his bedroom and pauses. He looks up and their eyes meet. I scream as I lunge forwards, knees first. I aimed my knees straight at Queston's fucking skull. My knees slam into Queston's head and I hear his skull crack. His body goes limp and we crash onto the floor. Queston was unconscious on the floor. I scramble on top of him. My mouth latches onto his tits and I begin sucking hard. Queston regains consciousness and I see him lift his fucked head with his shit long black hair. He sees me and by this stage I have sucked his entire left half of his chest in my mouth and down my throat. He grabs my head and tries to push me down off of him. He was so weak from being knocked unconscious from my knee bomb. My little brown is no rock hard and I feel it slither in between Queston's legs. Queston fights weakly but I am far too strong. So stop that, my forefoot just please don't have me. Queston begins to beg and I know I had him. I have now sucked his entire chest into my mouth and it was stretching the skin on his sides so much that it started to tear. My little brown glides into Queston's ass and starts laying eggs. I roll my hips forwards and backwards and my testicles start purring like a cat. Queston starts punching down on my head as now I've sucked his entire front of Queston's body into my mouth. Queston starts screaming in pain as his skin starts to tear from his body. My fucking intensifies and my dick starts to spin as I thrust. My blood turns to cream and my body hair turns to barbed wire. I'm about to mince. I keep sacking at Queston's front and finally his skin gives way. His entire chest including his pectoral muscles slurp up into my mouth just as I begin mincing. Bang! Then everything went quiet, went black. I felt my body slump forwards and Queston's chest cascaded out of my mouth as I could no longer suck. I opened my eyes and managed to muster enough strength to turn my head. Standing in the doorway holding a baseball bat was choir. She was breathing heavily and had one of her breasts exposed. You did not know I was visiting, did you Matthew? I was too weak to talk and felt blood pouring out of my head. I grunted. That's the last half you'll ever have, Matthew. Goodbye. Choir stepped forwards and swung the bat directly at my head. Everything went black again as she connected. Bang! Bang! Bang! Hit after hit. Choir mashed my skull. Then I felt like I was falling, falling and falling. Then I slammed onto the ground. It was hot, very hot. My vision returns and my senses come back to me. I hear screaming and burning. I sit up. I'm surrounded by fire and people screaming in pain. I see a creature walk towards me. Welcome to hell, Matthew Brown! Oh no. Oh yes! Holy shit, is that why your head's like that? You had dints and shit. Imagine if you were just mush in your head. Anyway, holy shit, man, dude. Whoa, man. You've been to hell. Is that why you like ACDC so much? Acadabra. So I'm like confused as well. Oh, sorry. It's hard to wrap your head around. Fuck shit. Oh, I can't wait to hear about hell. Is it that bad? Oh, you have to wait next week. Oh, dad. Like how the fuck would you get out of hell? You just have to wait and see. You must sit on some fucked up shit. Man, I can't believe how much shit you haven't told us about your life. This is your life. Mum comes out of nowhere. Choir is Matt's mum for new podcast listeners. And fucking hell. Yeah, she's quiet and questions mum. You have to be a sick bitch to hit your son's... Oh, and she had a tit out. She had one tit just dangling out. In the centre part. She killed me. In the middle breast. Holy shit. You must really not like your mum then. Well, you guys have worked it out, obviously. I love my mum. The choir mum. The birth mum. Your mum from Planet Quelch. You always get a bit baby-ish fiddly when we do your black book. Just fiddling with the baby a bit. Oh, man. Somebody commented that as they said, every time Brown gets happy, that's... He's hiding his fucking sack filling with mints and his rock hard cock trying to slither its way out. And they all look at us. And the old stories. Yeah, fuck, man. I don't know what you'd be doing. Flailing? All right. What are we up to now, Cullen? Fuck, we're... Questions. Cow questions. Man, I can't believe you've gone to hell. That's fucking crazy. Oh, fuck. Oi. We need to do the screaming segment real quick. Is Jake gonna be able to maybe cover his ears? Oh, actually. Just a quick... Oh, should we skip it? Oh, fuck. It's getting good at it. The screams... Don't worry. I've got to take him for a skate anyway. Just because of the nabbitz. It'll be over in 60 seconds tops. Yeah, true. It's like 20 seconds normally. Anyway, uh, fucking... BONG BREAK! Should we call James for the screaming segment? He's on his walk. And we're back. All right, it's time for the screaming segment, where we call a random business, and I scream as loudly as I can, and we see how long it takes for them to hang up. If they can make it to 60 seconds without hanging up, I have to then say to them, you win this time. Are you in this round? You win this round. You win this round. How long do we think... How long do we think they'll last? I'm gonna say 28 seconds. I'm gonna say, um, 12 seconds, just because it's 7.30. It's like the dinner rush. You are. Can't change my answer? No, that's locked in now forever. You've got to take everything into account. I'll go 8 seconds. Phone on private. Good thinking, Browntown. Good thinking. Browntown. Brown. Browntown. Oh, imagine if we got a triple iron lockie. Sorry. This is called locking and screaming. This is fucking speaking. Oh, my God. That was fast. That was fast. 8 seconds. That was 7 seconds. Oh, Jesus. Wow. She had no time. No time for us. Fair enough too. That's like, I'm a fucking piece of shit for doing that. Like, wasting their time like that. I love it. Like, imagine that how intensely loud that would be on your ear. You'd like, pull it away from your head because you're so fucked off. Can't imagine if I was actually getting murdered though, then, you know, you'd look into that and think, oh, maybe she shouldn't have been so dismissive. Anyway, moving right along. Oh, well, very good. Very good. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's very good. It's handy. Love the screaming statement. Comment what businesses you think we should scream at, guys. Like, give us some suggestions where all ears can't. All right, guys. It's time for the moo, the cow, the comment of the week. And this is a separate comment competition to our other comment competition. We pick the best, funniest, random little comment, right? And we cut it out and we stick it on our board of comments. So it'll only be one from every episode. And then we pick one at the very end of the season to be the comment of the year. All right. So, and we just pick anything. All right. It's just random. But if you want that other comment competition, it's far cooler. Comment as many times as you can. It's every comment is an entry. Do you understand? It's very good. Okay. Easy money. Elon Musk. If you put in the hours, you get rewarded, Matt. Take it away, Matt. All right. The comment. Oh, sorry. The cow of the week. The comment. Sorry. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't say that. Comment of the week, Matt. It's the cow. Comment of the week. Cow is the abbreviation for comment of week. You understand? All right. So, cow went to Sam Pauling. And his comment was, still don't understand how these two could teach tennis around little kids' laughing face. So, well, okay. Matt chose that one. I reckon if, yeah, memories of Marty coaching kids is like, if he's not near the parents. Look at, yeah. It was an experiment for me. He would just make sounds. Because they used to get engaged by sounds, kids. So, like, at a certain age, once they got a bit older, I would obviously have to. As you're walking past a tennis court, and you see a tennis coach and a bunch of kids, and he's be like, what the fuck is that? Real weird a couple of times. I always put the effort in to make it, like, so you. What if it might be? Because I always would have to be near the parents. Whenever Michael had all the kids accumulate in front of him, he'd be like, all right, guys, now we're going to do some, he'd misspeak slightly. And I'd be like, oh, mistake, mistake. Yeah, we're walking by the glasses. We're walking by the glasses. An announcement. Well, that was a mistake. Marty would like point out, like, oh, yeah, it's not the baseline, it's the service line. Like, oh, fucking hell. He's made a mistake, or if he misspoke, like instead of forehand, said, oh. Forehand? And he just hit, like, fucking balls at me randomly. He just smashed balls at me in front of the kids, and the kids are like, oh, what the fuck was that? He just acted violence out. Oh, man, there were some fucking animals. Remember some of the cages? I remember being on top court and looking down, and you had to, like, fill in for some coach, and you really didn't want to. And it was, like, the most naughtiest class I'd ever fucking seen. I'm like, grab, and you throw on rackets everywhere, and I was just standing on top court, pissing myself off. Yeah, and I could hear it. And that broke the net or something? Would you hit tennis ball down at the bottom court? I don't. Well, you have to hit over the fence, so it's hard to accurate. Actually, no, we would. I remember I'd always have just now and then, during private, so I'd have a hit of another ball. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you'd now and then get a hit on you, and be like, ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, man. It's really awkward in front of the flick, Lily. Yeah, if the parents weren't there, you'd do that. Yeah. But, like, oh, it was rough. Rough job. Anyway, moving right along. Yeah, it was, man. It was a rough job. Dude, you've got to, like, it's like having kids' enthusiasm. Look, look, put it this way. Look, you always have eyes on you, right? So people are paying a lot of money to make sure that every minute is well used. So you have to be on 100% of the time. You can't, like, look down and just chill out, go on your phone for a sec, go to the toilet, and wholesome. You can go to the fucking toilet, can't you? Probably, yeah. You can go to the toilet. You can get a drink, can't you? There are moments when you can just chill and just breathe. I wouldn't say chill and breathe, but there are moments you can get down. In the deli at Woolworths, I used to go on the freeze, like the cold room, and I'd just eat some army. I could chill. I'd literally just spend time in the cool room, sitting there. Tennis coaching, there's not only, there's usually a parent there, and the kid is there as well, obviously, to keep an eye on you. There's fucking parents everywhere who are paying a lot of money, so expect results. It's fucked, man. I always maintain, like, one hour of coaching is two hours of a normal job. It's more, yeah. Mentally and physically fucking draining. I'm gonna ask Greg. Yeah, do it. He will fucking agree, he can't. But that's what, any tennis coach will know. Any coach in a sport will know this. Anyway, sorry. And fucking, what's, you gotta get up at five, start at six to, like, 10, have a massive break in the middle of the day? You can't enjoy your time off. Listen, mate. And then you coach again from three, and don't finish until 9.30, some fucking butt fuck away away. You gotta drive your car to different places. It's fucked. And get to sleep by midnight, and then up again at five. You have no option. You have no option. Your days are huge, can't. They're, like, 15-hour days with a- And when you've got time off in between, you're thinking about the next job. See, you can only enjoy your day off if you don't have to work at the end of the day. If you have to work at the end of the day, it sucks. Sorry. Why don't you guys quit? Well, we just, yeah, we would have. We would have. I was doing my own thing, and it was like, I was doing such a bad job. There was classes I loved, though. I remember you told me you were getting paid in cash once, and you were like- Every, yeah, everything was cash. You were like, I forgot to do my tax for like- Yeah, the tax man. Like, that was hard. Six years. It was so difficult. I feel like you're wondering if the boss would get ordered. And like, I was just, there was nothing was like- Like, I did a good job coaching, but like I didn't bother marketing or doing anything business for a while. I just didn't give a shit. It was just word of mouth here and there or whatever. Oh, fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit hard. Tennis. I met some lovely people over there. Shout out to Tennis. Yeah, and some of the people I coached, you know, very cool people. But fuck me. That job can fuck off, come on. It's hard. Anyway, on to the questions. This is where we answer your questions that you comment on the Marty and Michael Fully actual YouTube channel. And the ones that are most liked, we usually answer first, then we work our way down. So once you comment your question, have a scroll through and like the questions that you want us to answer. Let's go, Brown. All right. Top question went to SR. Question for the podcast. Could you do live Q&As with us, website members for the world's longest podcast record attempt? We would 100% keep you awake. Yeah, 100. Yeah, we will. That's a great idea. During our record attempt, we'll just be like, all right, guys, send us your numbers and we'll call them. We could do it multiple times because you'd have the Australian crew and then you'd be going through. We'll just go live in the Facebook group. Bang, we'll answer all your questions. That's exactly right. That's actually that. As UK wakes up, you've got the other side of the world, so you'd super go. I saw a comment that had lots of likes. What was it in relationship again? Oh, sorry. Yeah, you're right. Okay, so Teddy's gray on stuff said, you guys said if a segment gets like 60 likes, we'll do it. He said, okay, so I really want to see you both film each other walking into restaurants and eating people's food. You get a point for every second you stay by the table eating. The forefoot is that the loser has to go to a really expensive restaurant and buy their own meal and then pour it on themselves in front of everyone. How many likes does that have? 92. Okay, so that was for a segment suggestion, right? That sounds more like a video idea, but we want podcast segment suggestions Oh, look, I'll write that idea down. All right, I'm going to put that in my because since I got 92 likes, we'll write it down eating other people's food at food court. I'll do that. Oh, you know, I'm very rude. You would hate to do that. But you know, in the restaurants along Eagle Street Pier, they're like five star and they're right on the pier. Like you can walk up to their tables. Like that would. Yeah, the higher quality, I'd go to like a shithole food court. I just go to a fish shop and have a chip. Okay. Yeah, if we go to find that, they'll just call the cops immediately. Exactly. Yeah. Anyway. Um, yeah. Good suggestion. We mean like an ongoing podcast segment suggestion. If that gets 60 likes, we will implement it immediately. I think. Don't next. Next flalea. Yeah. Next flalea. Next question is from Jaden Rice. Marty, how's the heart going? I just wanted to get an update. He's going through bad health and anxiety a few times about his heart as well. He said he always felt bad for what you're going through because he's going through the exact same thing and he feels it. So he just wanted to get an update. It's gone pretty fucking good. I like I said a few weeks ago, I had the shits like I lost like four to five kilos during that two weeks of where I couldn't really, didn't really eat much. And I haven't felt the blood pressure. I haven't felt it as much. And I'm just sort of, so I've trimmed down a little bit and fucking. Yeah, I just don't feel it as much. I just feel like it's just getting at the beginning of the year. My body was just so fucked. And now it's just progressively getting better and better and better. And fucking who knows? Yeah, it's I don't feel it right now. So I haven't even been measuring it, but it feels like it's gotten a lot better. So I'm doing good. It's fucking improving. And I'm just going to the gym working out and just getting fitter and fitter. Running is easier now again. Maybe it's a running because that's been going on for a while now. What? You've been doing a lot of running. Yeah, but on and off. I'll go like hard for two weeks and then have like, you know, two weeks off. So yeah, now I'm just doing it every now and then. You're not in line for sads. Yeah. Yeah, no. And you know, I reckon, yeah, who knows? It could have been like some fucking COVID shit in my heart. And now that it's just after time that your body just gets it out. Next question is from Caleb King. Question for the podcast. As an avid smoker of weed, I know I want to try something stronger. What would you boys recommend as the next step up? Get what? Get medicinal. Oh, no. If you're an avid smoker, we'll firstly try edibles, which you probably have, but edibles are far more intense than smoking. You start with a little bit of edibles and mix that in with your smoking or get fucking, get some medicinal, get some medicinal marijuana with a very high THC percentage. And that will fucking, oh, what else? I reckon just start meth. Yeah, or meth. Just branch out and try something else. How's that going? Meth, you brown. Are you actually going to do it by the end of the year? I know. If we all do it, will you do meth? No, no. Maybe you said you'd offer me $1,000 to meth for the next boys' trip. Yeah, yeah. That's still on the table. So it's happening? Okay. But yeah, what was the other thing I was going to say? That fucking weed, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sometimes, don't you reckon, you get higher if you just smash a whole joint rather than trying to do bomb after bomb? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you wait, enjoy it more too. Yeah, so try different ways of consuming. Like, joints will fucking get you higher than like doing three bongs. Yeah, whatever you're not used to, try that. Yeah. And then see what, assess and reassess and do meth. Sorry. Next question is from Tyler Welch. Welch? Welch. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Depending where he's from, you know what to do. Marty, what's it like being a dad with having, while having a social media job like you do? Yeah, it's fine so far. But yeah, it'll definitely have its challenges. I don't like having her in videos and shit. I don't know, you know, if it's okay to put her on fucking Instagram stories and shit. You just don't know. There's so much unknown. You don't know if it's better for her because like, like I could start her Instagram and, you know, start putting her in videos and shit and then getting her a following. But then is it bad because she doesn't have a choice. So I'm sure she'd say yes and she does. She wants to start YouTube channels and shit. But I don't know if I want to do that to her where you fucking get her a bit of fame and people know who she is and then you can't undo that. That's 22. Yeah. And then it's like, it might be good in some ways, but she might also not like it. And then she hasn't even had a choice in the matter because I've just gone, oh yeah, I'm going to start promoting your fucking YouTube channel. So it's good and bad. You just, I just don't know what to do. So I'm just sort of like waiting until she's a bit older and then fucking talk to her again about it. Yeah. What age do you reckon you like go? What age do you reckon a teenager or a kid can come to you and go, yeah, I want to start a YouTube channel? And you go, yeah, it's cool. Well, there's heaps of kids YouTube channels these days, but you're just like, yeah, but they start off smart. There's nothing to know about them. They're, they're actual personal world. It's all just in like a little room and they're doing something. This toy is cool. Blah, blah, blah. Exactly. Well, with you, everyone is a bit more. Yeah. And then like, if I started with Esther, you know, the goal would be to make it succeed. So like I would promote it and then anyway, you just have to do it a way that in a way that if you were going to do it, you'd have to do it in a way that obviously protects her as well. Yeah. That's all. Next question is from Helen Smith. Guys, I love the podcast. Oh, sorry. Great podcast by the way. Got a question. Michael, what is the worst or worst, almost disgusting thing you've ever stood on considering you go bare feet a lot? You would never notice now. We can't feel anything. Look how hard they are. Okay. Look at that. Before Tocca yesterday when I was buying a gel blaster, just before I walked into the shop, I stepped on a piece of glass and it went straight into my toe. And I got to the point after I bought the gun and got into the car, it was dark. So I couldn't really see it and the light wasn't working. So I started flicking it. Flicking it, dude. And I mixed it in and I played Tocca with glass in my foot last night. And I think it's just in there now. That's how it is. That's my foot. There's a bit of sand that's been melted down in there. Just let it die, I think. Maybe it's gone up in your veins and it's working your way up to a body until it goes to your heart and then your heart will explode. Okay. I can't say that it's not dangerous to wear no shoes, but I can tell you that the positives to it are feeling so much more freer and better with grip. I don't know, there's something monkey about my feet now that can just, I can spread them out and I can push off better. I keep my never fall over, okay? I can't wait to show this to you after you've stood on a needle and tested positive for HIV. Yeah, that's what I used to think about as a kid. But and I do, there's been moments when I've been like in parks and I've thought of needles and then I've seen needles as I'm walking and I'm like, wow, I could have stepped on it. Okay, sorry. Sorry. All right, next one is from Ward. He basically said boys, the animation was fantastic. Bravo to whoever put that together. I thought we could give a shout out to Goob for doing that. Cracker Milk is a YouTube channel that this guy is in and Goob is his name and he's a very funny animator and just a very funny guy in general. So what's he on on Instagram? I think he's Goob. Yeah, just Goob. Isn't it Goob dot something? Maybe. If you go to the fully actual Instagram and look at who we follow, Goob is in there. Yeah, well there you go. G-w-o-b dot c-o Goob dot co. Sorry. Yeah, very good artist and he is the creator behind the animations and we don't know what to where to put it. It's on our website at the moment, but we want to make it free because to the podcast community, we don't want you to have to sign up, but we're too scared to put that shit on YouTube because our channel just gets a strike immediately. So should we put it on OnlyFans? So we'll put the link for our OnlyFans in the description and it will be free of course, but you might have to just make an account, which might be annoying, but fuck it's the only way we can give it to you without any kind of punishment. And then sexy photos of us. Plus there's a few sexy photos of us. Yeah. I keep forgetting that. Someone's going to steal that. Wonder that's going to be on the, one of yours is going to be on the front cover of a fucking newspaper. Brown, brown strikes again when you relapse. What's your name? Blake Flynn. He looks like a black phone. Blake Flynn. I'm going to smile. All right. So next question is from Bo. Will you ever do a live action episode of The Black Book? What's that mean? And would Matt Brown say in a live action? So reenact it. We need CGI and it'd be difficult. Well, yeah, you wouldn't do a lot of the things because it's him like making a movie, but like obviously using the black book as a storyline. Yeah. Oh, that would be a, it'd take a lot of work. You need and he needs to be animated. I don't know if for some of the things are possible. But yeah, so it'd be like a, I don't know, like a weirdo. I'd be like a horror comedy. Scary movie six. Tom Green can play me. It's weird that all of our sketches back in the day would have like a weird like horror theme to them. Why is something really creepy going on? Yeah. It's like dark comedy. Oh, yeah, it happened. Fucking fly, Liza. All right, I've got two more questions. Fuck. Next one is from Harvey. Are you guys going to add a search option to the website? I find it a bit hard to navigate and looking for a specific video is difficult sometimes. Yes. We, and currently right now in development is our brand new website, which will have that and more. So just bear with us a few more weeks. And yeah, where the new website will finally be something that's just not fucking, what is it a plug in, you know, one of those plug in websites? So it's been far too long. So we finally... We've upgraded. Yeah. It's upgraded. So all of those search issues will no longer be an issue in like two months tops. You're going to be able to comment on vid? Yeah, I'm going to be able to comment. You're going to have, like, yeah, we'll be fucking... It's new. Okay. Sorry. All right. Final question is from Gita. File. Can't. Beautiful. All right. Boys, would you ever take the podcast on tour? I don't know. I guess so, if that's what the people wanted. Imagine this in front of an audience. Man, it'd be a lot of... I wonder how that would be, though. What would we do for bong breaks? Just have a... Fuck it. Smoke weed. Have huge bongs. Just hope the police aren't... Well, I reckon we'll be real fat and fucked by then. Matt'll be completely bald. Oh, you made me want to wee. Other podcasters have done it, have done live ones, but an actual live tour. I know, like, Tom Segura comedian. He does, like, live tour podcasts. Why are you yelling? Oh, Tom Segura. Oh, man. So, yeah, you'd have to be... It'd be a bit different to this. Yeah, we'd have to get a bit bigger first, surely. We'd have to, like, get to, like, maybe, like, I don't know. 200k subscribers on YouTube. You can't tour when you get, like, 10,000 views. That would be so embarrassing. Imagine if we went to some theater and there's, like, 13 people for it. We'd just out the front drinking, going, can you just come in and watch us, eh? Please come and watch us. That's what we're worried about. We would pay people to come see this show. That'd be it. Fair enough. Anyway, we'll consider it. We'll consider it. Anyway, it's time... Yeah, we'll definitely do it. It's time for the fucking prank coal, everyone. Oh, and by the way, the end of last week's podcast, you might have noticed where there's a bit of commotion. We heard a bang. We figured out what we decided was a possible some shit. I don't know what we said. We just gave up. We went outside. There was nothing there. There was something. But yeah, we did film us going outside. That's on the fully actual podcast Instagram in the potty prep videos. Yeah, well, there you go. You can go check that out. So yeah, it was nothing, guys. Nothing freaky happened. And now it's the end of this episode. We've also got the prank call where I'm going to be Margaret and call a gym and try and get personal training sessions for her son, Bront. Here we go. Sorry. Yeah. How are you? I'm Margaret. Yeah. Thanks for the time. Good day. Good day. Please. Good day. Hey, how are you? I'm just calling around. I sort of live in the area. And I'm wondering if you guys do a personal training sessions for children, for a 14-year-old. It would be for my 14-year-old son. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course. We definitely have personal training to see that are able to train the younger generation. Absolutely. That's great to hear. He hasn't really done much physical exercise in his life. And he has a few. Look, he does have some learning disability, some quite heavy, dense learning disabilities. So if we could find a personal trainer who has either dealt with something like that in their lives, or has the experience maybe to know how to navigate some of the behaviors that my son, Bront, will be exhibiting. Yeah. Yeah, okay, great. So there is a PT there who's able to help with that. Is that correct? Yes, that is definitely correct. Okay, that's great to hear. What sort of times would be available for that? Yeah. It just depends. So we obviously, if we had to come into the club, we would need to get a membership. Right, yeah. And then from there, the personal trainers run their own business. Right, yeah, I see. So the people that we'd have in mind, you just need to contact directly and find out when they're available to work. Okay, that's great. So how about this? I'm just going to give you a little bit of information about Bront. And then maybe if you could contact some of the PTs who have some availabilities, and then see if they're willing to take on the challenge. How about that? Well, have you thought about maybe coming into the club and actually checking out the facility? And then that way you can check out all of our personal trainer profiles and things like that. And then we can go from there for you. Yeah, look, that sounds great. Let me just first list off some of the behaviors that my son, Bront, may exhibit. And then we can sort of gauge and see if you think there'll be any PTs willing to work with him. So like I mentioned, he's 14 and he's quite a large boy. He's probably close to 100 kilos. Yeah, he's quite tall. And like I mentioned with the heavy learning disabilities, he's got quite a large skull with dents on it. There's a few dents around it. And he's quite shy, quite a shy boy, but he does follow direction. He doesn't really talk back, but he's quite grabby. So you might want to write that down too, that he can be quite grabby. So potentially maybe a male personal trainer would be the best fit for that. What do you think about that so far? It's completely fine. But like I've mentioned, I think it's definitely best that you pop into the club to kick out the personal trainer's profile and then we can sit down and go with you from there. Totally hear what you're saying. Just one last sort of thing to add, though, he can get... Look, I have seen him get quite violent at times, but that's only when you're doing things that he very clearly doesn't like. Okay, so there have been times I've seen him grab hair and he'll need running water around him at all times because he does get dry mouth quite quickly. And he does sort of lash out and sort of swing and punch. But once he gets to know someone, he should be quite fine. He yells a lot. He yells out at people. And I have actually seen him urinate in what he's wearing if his demands aren't met. So do you sort of understand where I'm going here? He's quite difficult to deal with. Yeah, I do understand. Again, you just need to pop into the club for that team and then we can go from there for you. Okay. So you're saying there is a personal trainer who'd be willing to accommodate all of these slight issues there? It just depends. We may need to obviously have a guardian present during the time but we can definitely work with that and see what we can do. Okay. I am willing to sit in on the session, but he screams. He screams a lot. Okay, he's a very deep, loud voice. He's quite hairy and yeah, he screams loudly. And when he starts screaming, there will be no controlling him. I do have a leash that I can bring. I can show you how to put the harness on and I will show that to the personal trainer. Okay. But one he does, he does scream quite a lot. So it could be annoying to the other patrons. Is there an area at the gym where the personal trainer could take him and take him for one-on-one sessions? So he's away from everyone else. Hello? Hello? Have I lost you? Hello? Oh, that's no good. Oh, the bitch is fucking hung up on you. She can't handle that. She won't be handling Bront. Bosley, come here, Bosley. Oh, Bosley, oh, Bosley. Oh, boy, Bosley, everything's okay. Everything's quite all right, Bosley. Yeah, don't worry about that. Mummy's just having a chance of the personal trainers. Yeah. So why don't you go and have a fucking seat? Sorry, it's just hard to snap out of that then. Damn, I wish she stayed on for a bit longer. Oh, I think it was. I think it was. It was great. Oh, I couldn't think of shit then. The middle part of that prank call, that hasn't happened in a while. Nothing was coming to my mind. I like the old way we did it because I could whisper things into your ear because then they don't hear, but I can't say it on here because then you hear me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we've just finished the prank call now and now it's time to go. That's the end of episode number 24, Skin. 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