 Your coca-cola bottlery presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by rose franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening repress yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Watch out where you're going Claudia Why do we always have to do our Christmas shopping at the last minute? We've only been Christmas shopping for two years. This one makes it two how much farther is it to the store? I want to get back to the office before five Down the street little ways more They could stop looking so grumpy your Christmas shopping supposed to fill people with joy and happiness Claudia watch out where you oh, I'm sorry Excuse me Give me your hand Oh, I think mama love that black ale alligator bag. Don't you David? I haven't seen it remember. Oh, so you haven't Well anyway mama love it nice handsome plain-looking You know, it's not not easy giving mama a present David. You're telling me it's not easy Pushing around in this mob of traffic till I feel like a bath mat Honestly, I don't know what it is about men. They make such a fuss I sort of enjoy a problem on again Yes, the black alligator bag. It is just the present for mama. It looks so stunning under her arm. David and it'll go Perfectly with your gray suit. That is not why I'm buying much. I know you have an ulterior motive. I haven't I Have a black pocket I just very nice when my mother and daughter can land and borrow especially when you do the borrowing and mama the Lenby David Christmas is nice go on David admit it say it's nice. Oh this wacky shopping business nice I don't know how I'll let you talk me into coming with you. I know because you're a sentimental about mama's I am she's much too good for you. Oh, you're telling me that's why I wanted to give her the best pocket book I could possibly find to go with your gray suit Here we are. Here's the store David. Look out for those boxes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Excuse me Wish we were back home. We might as well go in. Come on hang on. I'm hanging by my feet Well this isn't so bad David. Come on let's go in. No really so crowded. No it isn't so bad. Just look at this. Not as many people as on the street. It's not as big either. Hey you're at your house on Crookedown. Surprise it's on it all. Now where do we go from here? Just go back straight back two counters down. Two counters down that looks like seven miles. Why didn't you buy the bag when you saw it this morning? Well I just wasn't sure that we decided to give it to mama so. What made you decide we would? I just decided. Well never again am I going to... David you look so grim as if you're playing football. And after description of how I feel. Come on. Oh here we are. We made it. We've still got one counter to go. Come on forward. There's any buttons left on my coat. It isn't any fault of mine. Oh how do I look darling? Your ears peeking through. Which one? Where? Both of them. Oh for heaven's sake. Well those can't be helped. Oh Mr. Please. Who are you yelling to? Salesman. That's what you call a salesman. Well not Mr. I'll tell you that. No that much. I just... Stop waving. He'll be over here in a moment. He's just taking care of it later. Can't you see? Now be patient. Well you cannot shop with that attitude. Nobody else is patient. It's a fight for survival. When women shop they always have to be first. They simply can't wait their turn. When women shop they know what they're doing. Always jockeying for position lady. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now you stand still. The salesman will take care of us as soon as he can. Well not a minute sooner believe me. David how you can be so righteous at a time like this? I'm not righteous. I'm right. Well I won't quibble. Claudia stop pushing. I'm not pushing. Somebody's pushing me. Please don't wait. But would you mind if I stepped up to the counter? I would mind. I'm sorry. Well I'm over. You little viper. If you'd taken our place at the counter we never would have gotten back David. You don't trust your fellow woman at all do you? No not at all. I can't understand it. If we were buying all this simple little black alligator bag why we couldn't have done it weeks ago? I didn't think of a weeks ago darling. I shopped for everybody else weeks ago but for mama I needed inspiration. A black alligator bag doesn't seem like much inspiration to me. It's not like Christmas if you don't shop just before it. I suspect it as much. Oh it's a good thing I realize you're not as grumpy as you act. I'm grumpy. Your lady I am. Oh oh oh. Mister could you? You don't call a salesman mister. Alright I call him Joe then. Joe or Mike or whatever you want to just don't call him mister. Oh wait or wait or why can't you call a salesman? Sailor. Very funny. Oh not so. Sailor where have I heard that before? Oh Sailor of course. Please sir. I'll be right with you madam I'm occupied. But we're next. I'll be right with you madam as soon as I finish with this customer. I have a mistake. David we were next we came before that woman that that woman in the red hat we were few. You get to us now have a little patience. Have a little patience. All I ever hear. David do you think mama will like it? A little patience on your part I think she'd love it. Black pocketbook on her part though. Oh I don't think she'll mind it. It's not exactly inspirational but it'll do. Oh it's only hard to give a present to mama. She must think of business saying my children I don't want presents. I don't want you to go out spending your money buying me anything. I thought you said she needed a pocketbook. She does. I do too. So I don't see how she could object to you. Besides you don't you don't think she means it to you David. About not giving a present to you. No I don't think she means it. That's almost the sort of thing I'd say but I love getting presents. Oh I think people just say what mama says. So other people like us won't feel obligated. I think that salesman forgotten we're alive. Yeah I think I'll let him know. What do I what do I call him? I thought you decided. Well it's not easy. He doesn't have much personality does he? Stasman please. Madam I'll be right back. I'm taking care of this customer. But you said we were next. Then what I'm doing David. Madam please I'm trying to do my best. Well it's not good enough. We're short of sales clock madam. I'm only doing what I can. I know that it's difficult for you. I'll be right with you in just a moment. Now madam time is relative. To me it isn't. David don't pretend so much you don't care. She'll tell us we shouldn't have done it. I hate that salesman. David stop pushing you stepping on my arm. I think I'm the only man in this store. Excuse me I'm still trying to get to this counter. Well they won't do you any good when you get here madam. Why not young man? There is nothing when you get here. Nothing at all. Oh believe me. Oh the con... David you were wonderful. You dissolved into the crowd. I'm half of mine to dissolve out of this store. You wouldn't get to the door. Oh honestly really there is no excuse for that. There is no excuse for this kind of inefficiency. Nobody's fault but ours. What are we doing here? Listen if you ran your business so slovenly you wouldn't be an architect for five minutes. Well architecture is different. You haven't got enough sales clerks. That's plain. It's simply inefficiency. They never have enough at Christmas. It's plain normal. Will you stop looking so remote? We ask for this. I am sorry lady. I am very sorry. I shouldn't have come. Stop saying that. I'm just being realistic. If you're re-ating there's anything I can't stand at a time like this. It's cold calm. Do you rather I tear your hair? Yes much rather. The bus passes me on the street. I could kill it. This is the same thing. Exactly. It's the female in here. That salesman. I get out. Oh cheerfully kill him. Poor little man. Obviously. You women have made a mess of this shop. Look at all of you clustering around like hens for your feed up. I'm going. Go on then. Mama doesn't need a bag. No money instead. Fine fine. Come on let's go. You mean it? Well I. I guess since we're here we might as well stay. Mama should have something out of the tree. Ouch. I guess but never again am I going to go sweet. I am not sweet. Telling me won't make me sweet. You're a big help to me David. You're an enormous help. I can see that I'll just have to do it all. Sales clerk. You eat for this. You come over here and wait on me this minute. You're shouting so everyone can hear you. Of course I am. No madam I'll be with you in a moment. I can't be in ten places. You have ignored us for the last ten minutes. These customers came in ahead of you. They did not. And if you'll be patient enough for just one moment Glanda I'll be very happy to do what I can for you. Now stop making a scene. I distinctly noticed that that woman with the purple hat came in later than we did. Well she's older than we are. There is a time for respect and there is a time for survival and this is it. Sales clerk. There we are. If you don't come over here and wait on us I'll call the manager. A lot of good that'll do. The manager's gone home with a headache. Well what about the assistant manager. There's anything I can't stand this disorganization having one clerk behind this counters. It's ridiculous why five wouldn't be able to handle this. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. I know it's Christmas. We've been expecting Christmas for 365 days no reason why we can't be ready for it. My point exactly. Hey whose side are you on? Look he's through that customer he's wrapping up her bag. They've been waiting to see the pocket and it'll make up for everything because it's so so right. It's just like mama. That salesman doesn't come over to us after that customer. I will leave mama or no. I'll tell you that. Come his way. Come his way. Um sales clerk. Right after I take care of this lady. I've been waiting a long time. Sir what do you think we have? I'll be right with you madam. I can't divide myself into eight parts. I have only two feet and two hands. Well they're not enough. I'm doing my very best madam. My husband is getting very impatient. It's nice. You're all right all right. It's my turn. Madam just a moment please. But it's my turn. I've been waiting for these people. I'm not going to wait here any longer. Well you better come back to me right afterwards because if you don't I'm going to run. Yes madam. I'll be back with you but these people the easiest thing to do is to see what they want. I heard every word he said. Who cares what he said or not. I don't. Now then what is it I can do for you? Well hello. Just ask him Claudia quickly. Get it over. Only being polite. Yes madam. Now I saw a black alligator bag in your window this morning. This morning. And yes it was in the left window. Oh the black alligator bag with the gold clasp. Solid gold 14 carat. Yes. And the little clasp was in a little rod with a ring through it. That is just the one. And it was about as large as a dictionary. Just about that size. Exactly. Now the bag was 42 50. David. 42 55 and wrap it up please. And you want a black one. Yes. Black one. Well I'm terribly sorry but I sold the last one just 10 minutes ago. You what? If you'd come in just 10 minutes sooner madam I would have been very happy to sell it to you. But it's impossible. Is it? 10 minutes sooner. What do you mean we were here. We were standing right here on this spot exactly 10 minutes ago. David it's all your fault. If you had if you had. We've been standing here. I do what I can. Just because we were trying to be polite that lady had a box right in the middle of the small of my back. David David please let's go. Your nostrils are quivering. You bet your sweet life they're quivering. Well of all of all of the crazy and say not if we'd have been here 10 minutes ago I never heard of something. And you the very idea of you blaming this on me. Yes madam. I don't say another word. If you won't say another word. I won't either. That's right. Thank you. And before you go may I wish you folks a happy holiday. Greeting. To keep the season appropriately merry and at the same time keep within the family budget often seems to call for feats of magic. But since a 24 bottle case of coca-cola cost only a dollar no magic is really called for. Just call for a case of coke today for a good supply on ice and let the hospitality begin. Oh sir. Yes. Perhaps you can tell me why did that gentleman get so upset. I think he was disappointed about the bag. He seemed so very upset. And waiting around for nothing. That upset him too. I do what I can. Of course you do. Well back to the howling horde. By the way don't you think women shop better without their husbands. Personally I think so. I can cope with the ladies but the men never. Well in spite of that Claudia is very grateful David's along tomorrow to bail her out when she buys his present. The pleasure is all theirs. Oh my aching feet. Oh heaven look at all those women. Oh there there. Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying or of war and remember whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of coca-cola or coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice cold coca-cola is everywhere. This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola.