 euphoric, liberating, overwhelming. I'll just get this overwhelming sensation that the ecstasy is going through my body again. I mean my actual arms will start to tingle. Exhaustion, depression, delusion. But my body body couldn't handle it. Like my knees would go weak, I couldn't even get up and stand up. Ecstasy, is it really the dream drug? The new club drug ecstasy isn't really new at all. It has been around for nearly a century and has been popular for at least 20 years. First synthesized around 1912, the drug was originally intended as an appetite suppressant. It was never marketed due to the serious negative side effects it produces. Ecstasy is chemically very similar to the drug MDA, which was a popular recreational drug in the freewheeling late 60s and 70s. Ecstasy did not go away in the 80s. It resurfaced among college age young adults and was on its way to becoming the notorious club drug that it is today. In 1985, Ecstasy, or MDMA, was officially classified as a Schedule 1 drug by the Drug Enforcement Agency. Ecstasy was first in demand in America along the East Coast, probably because it is primarily manufactured in Europe and easily imported through ports along the Eastern seaboard. Over the past two decades, however, the ecstasy market has spread west across the country and today is readily available in most of our communities nationwide. We'd already talked about ecstasy before and I told him that I wanted to try it and he said he would get it for me so I gave him money and he went and got it for me before we went to the rave. It told me that they were fixing to pop their pills or take their ecstasy and I was like, well, I guess I will too. Ecstasy is routinely found in pill form and occasionally it takes shape as a powder or capsule. Although the pills range in color and form, they are typically the size and shape of a normal aspirin. They may be marked on one side to indicate the specific drug mix with such common designs as Buddhas, Superman's, or simple score lines. The pills may be white or off-white, blue, pink, or a combination of colors and are sometimes labeled with 125 milligrams. A typical capsule will be clear and blue and may be referred to as smurfs. Bootleg capsules may come in any construct or color. Honestly, at least 75 percent. I think that's what people go to raves for the most is how available drugs are there because I knew it was pretty easy for me to get them there. Ecstasy is available on the street at some clubs and usually present at rave parties. Prices typically range from $15 to $25. I was dancing and dancing more and all of a sudden one of my favorite songs came on and when my favorite song came on, all of a sudden I felt it. The whole rush went through my whole body. I just got a little bit of dizziness and then I just just feel it, my eyes start rolling back in my head and it was just an overwhelming high. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. Mild euphoria, heightened sensory response, and a slight hallucinogenic effect come together to create the siren call of an ecstasy high. When the ecstasy was hitting me, I wanted to touch things and I wanted to move my hands. I wanted to massage everything that I could get a hand holding. The sense of touch made the especially heightened and the user can experience a need to talk excessively. Another common effect is the uncontrollable urge to grind one's teeth. I noticed all night that I had a sensation to chew on something and for a while I was chewing on my fingers, I was chewing on my tongue, I was chewing on anything I could get a hold of. Users of the drug can be identified by their constant chewing of objects such as a pacifier to prevent damage to the gums and teeth. I woke up in the morning and I had scars and blisters and blood coming out of the sides of my tongue and I chewed it so much. The response is an amphetamine like experience similar to that produced by Benzedrine and may last as long as four to six hours. This drug is not what it seems. The euphoric feelings mask grave physical reactions which can lead to death. Perhaps the most serious effect of ecstasy is a rapid and drastic increase in body temperature, sometimes producing heat stroke and heart failure. Even more frightening, ecstasy can induce these serious cardio respiratory dangers in the one-time user just as often as in the regular user. During the week I would take all these vitamins and eat all these good healthy foods and drink all this water, just keep my body in shape and healthy because I knew that next weekend if I was going to rave I'd be doing ecstasy and every time I did ecstasy it drained all the energy out of my body. I had no energy left. Even with one dose the user runs a serious risk of heat stroke, cardiac arrhythmia, seizure, cardiac arrest or even death. Ecstasy can also threaten the very thing that it pretends to create, enjoyment of life. Some laboratory studies indicate lasting neurological damage may occur after repeated use of ecstasy. One recent study completed by the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that the ultimate result of this neurological damage may be chronic and lasting depression and debilitating lack of enthusiasm for life, which may be permanent. When I would go to these raves it wasn't like I was in the military. When everything was over and I figured out well, you know, I'm getting kicked out of the military. That hurt. That hurt a lot because I knew when I left for the military that this was going to be the rest of my life, that I was able to do this. Freedom is also jeopardized by the use of an illegal drug. Many users believe ecstasy passes out of their system the next day. In truth ecstasy can be detected in urine up to five days after use. The penalty for ecstasy use in the military isn't just discharge. It's jail time. I came down to my lawyer and he was like, you'll most likely look at jail time. And that hit me, that hit me hard. One month to one year of jail. I was just like, I was on the phone with him. I mean, I wasn't in front of him talking to him in person. I was on the phone and I just, I couldn't help it. I started to tear up. I was just like, I was so scared. I didn't know I was going to jail. I mean, to tell my, to have to go home and tell my parents, call them over the phone, be like, look, you know, I might be going to jail pretty soon. That hurt too. I never knew how much I was messing up my Air Force career because I wasn't thinking about the Air Force at all. I didn't even put that into reality when I would go down there. That would just come during the week. And then once I found out, you know, you're getting court-martialed, you're getting kicked out of the Air Force, you're probably getting your back on a discharge and you're probably going to jail. That's when I realized, hey, you know, I just messed up my whole life. Ecstasy may not be the dream drug. It may be the end of the dream.