 Confession time! I've considered getting plastic surgery. I know what you guys are thinking, oh my god, like, really you? You're so perfect. How could you of all people think I'm getting plastic surgery? And if you weren't thinking that, why not? I grew up without the internet and to be honest, I was probably better for it in many ways. I used to think that I was like the bees' knees. Like I was legit shit. I didn't even like wear deodorant until like my 20s. I just was like, oh natural. I didn't learn to wear makeup until my mid-20s or so. I didn't even care about clothing to get used clothing only because I had so much confidence in myself and who I was as a person that I thought all that extra shit was unnecessary because what was underneath it was so bomb.com that I was like, the world is blessed to have me as me. Then I got into the computer more specifically Instagram and I was like, something here is not like the others and things that I didn't even recognize were wrong way before. I was now super obvious. Like, whoa, that's a problem. Now don't get me wrong. I know I have a big ass forehead. Like that's not a mystery to anybody walking a mile away. What I didn't know is that my nose is crooked. That came really, really recently. I was like, that should it's kind of an ass formation is not and further to the point, I really realized I have a very un-proportioned face. I won't say very because I don't want to make it seem as if I'm walking around looking like a blowfish. I know I don't have it that bad but the bottom part of my face is really chubby. Like I have a lot of baby fat here. When I moved to LA got poor and began eating on a dollar a day. I lost a bit of weight. Weight that I couldn't really lose in Toronto. I went from being in the 130s to the high 120s and I saw a big change in a lot of my body and only like a little change if that in my face specifically in the lower parts of my cheeks. And when they say the camera adds 10 pounds what they mean by that is the camera sees things in two dimensions. So if you have cuts in your arms when you go flat all of a sudden you just had this smooth arm. So unless you have very prominent and defined features you can tend to look a lot bigger than you actually are or more bloated. Now for someone like myself who doesn't have you know that cave I felt like a balloon face and so I became very self-conscious of how I looked on camera to the point that I went to a plastic surgeon's office. I went to one in Toronto and I was like look like this rubber tire around the bottom of my face has to go what can you guys do? And they told me about this procedure called buckle fat pad removal in which they like cut basically like cut some fat out of your cheeks and then they also told me in the next breath but we wouldn't do it for you. Like it's just not worth it. What you should probably do is get injections in your cheeks. I see that face all the time around Beverly Hills. It's the new race. It's like Asian mixed with cat mixed with Kim Kardashian with a dash of leprechaun. I tried like to kind of make peace with it after that appointment and then months and months later I still felt like God like this is not going away and I just feel like I really want help. So I went to a plastic surgeon office in Los Angeles and you know for a fact if they could cut off your foot to make an extra dollar they would do it and even they told me like honestly sweetie just you're better off adding more bulk than taking away because it places a risk on all the nerves in your face things may not be as even as you think it can make weird dimples and ripples I was then like I'm just stuck with this chubby face but I thought that's kind of a piss poor attitude and what I'm doing this channel with the sensual journey is really about discovering your femininity and working for your sensuality working for your best self but enjoying the process of doing so. So I looked up on YouTube what someone can do for chubby cheeks and there were all these awesome facial exercises and they said for 20 minutes a day if you do these exercises you end up actually working out your face and you can lose fat you can create more definition and it's great for anti-aging as well too so I thought what a great proactive process to try to make sure that my shit don't get droopy in the next couple of years and then I thought to myself why not combine this with something that I always want to do but never really do which is oil pulling I get a tablespoon of coconut oil it's hella hot in my apartment so it's now coconut juice I put it in my mouth and that is my plastic surgery story everybody out there and I would love to hear what yours are has their own struggle with acceptance I think the internet specifically Instagram makes it so much harder to come to grips with the fact that you look the way that you look because other people look like Jesus Christ Superstar and you feel like why do I look like that dirty shrub over there but you don't you don't look like a dirty shrub and the more you tell yourself that the less that you're actually going to be that Jesus Christ Superstar and have that glow about you I wish I could go back to the days when I was really just so in tune with myself and so happy with who I was not because I looked better or I thought that I looked better than other people but because I genuinely didn't compare myself and there's no one to compete with and you get to win the gold trophy and I wish you guys nothing but gold trophies and if you do decide to go the plastic surgery route because you can't do facial exercises to make it a little bit better I definitely don't judge whatsoever I totally understand and accept it but of course we all hope that we can find that self-love without the scissors liking this video subscribing and sharing are three simple things that you guys can do that make a huge difference in helping me to create more content a lot more frequently so please do not be shy with the buttons booze