 Just fly, go slow. There's no need to hurry, for there are no monsters chasing you. I have a question actually. I started studying the course a little over a year ago and initially had probably a similar experience to a lot of people where I was actually here and Kristin had to go out somewhere but she said, oh you should just hang out here for a couple of hours. I had a few hours in between something. And she had mentioned the course before and the book was lying around and you know how it sort of was saying, pick me up. So I did and I was just like, wow, I really, I was just instantly, you know. And so I started studying the course and initially after I think I was on like the second day of it and I had lunch with my friend and she said, so how are you? And I said, oh I feel completely crazy. It just, you know, it just felt like everything just got sort of blown open. And it was really great. And then for after a while as I progressed through it I was about halfway through and I realized that I was approaching in this very dutiful kind of way. Like I have kind of this overachiever streak I always have and so I think I was approaching in kind of a spiritual overachiever kind of thing and it wasn't until I went away for the summer and I was at a meditation retreat which had sort of a different orientation and that I realized that my approach to the whole thing was sort of very aspirational. Like I want to feel peace so I feel peace, I feel peace, I feel peace, you know. And with, I think with the best of intentions but with some lack of acknowledgement of my own just sort of, just where I was kind of and where I was in my relationship with my own ego and everything. And so I sort of took a break from it and I still find that the teaching is very compelling and I would like to go back into it but I guess what I, my question is about finding the balance between being gentle and saying I want to forgive this person. You asked about, you mentioned forgiving your mother and that was the person who keeps coming up for me as the most difficult person, most difficult relationship to let go of potentially or to forgive. I want to do that but at the same time I want to be gentle with myself about what that process will be like. So how to balance those two things are my highest goals for what, for I guess my own clarity but also acknowledgement of where I really am at the moment. Yeah we just saw a great movie for that Kung Fu Panda 2. We saw the first one. Oh, oh then now it's going to go to his teacher who's going to say you've done very well and you did very well, number one, it was amazing but now you have to find inner peace and inner peace, inner peace, inner peace, inner peace. He took his overachiever, really good book, really good book. That's right. And the best thing about Poe is he's so transparent. He's got a big willingness. He will jump in to things and he will seem to fail or seem to look bad or all those kind of things and he verbalizes it even with all of his mighty opinions around him and even sometimes where the tiger even has to character essentially he has to confront him in a very direct way. He's so open and transparent and I think that's the thing when people work with the course and it's beautiful and get the lessons right and do it just perfect, the perfectionism of this ego drive that it uses with everything in the world. It tries to be the best at everything. It's going to be the best course student, the fastest inner peace achiever to have me award this year for the fastest inner peace achiever it goes to. You know it's Nora but it's in there but that's what I felt at the very beginning. Very early on I got the course and I read it eight hours a day and I couldn't do it consecutively eight hours because the eyelids would just come down the resistance would be so enormous to something so direct but that was my first lesson was to be gentle was to... I mean there was even one point where I was just started off with the book and I was using it like I Ching and I would just pray with my question like my answer so I wasn't reading it like people read books even I was using it more like I Ching and then at one point I really hit a day of really strong resistance and I was like but I still stayed with my method and I went ah so frustrated I was pushing myself so hard and I popped it open and I said when you find, I looked at the page and said when you find resistance high and dedication weak you are not ready, do not fight yourself and I went oh my God a book that tells you to put it down that's, you know, some people are concerned about books that tell you this is the only way to go out and there's only one way to go out you better not, you know, then you're like protecting it this witness was like I was like oh my God that's an amazing answer to that kind of resistance that was an amazing answer and then that taught me to just put that to be gentle you know, when the eyelids would get heavy take a nap go for a swim, take a walk have a snack, call a friend you know, not to become like a scholar you know what happened with the Bible with the scribes and the Pharisees you know Jesus really had a lot to say to the scribes and the Pharisees the overachievers the Torah, the Torah, everything the letter of the law everything's got to be down to the letter of the law rigid harsh letter of the law and he's like no, no, it's not the letter you know, it's not the letter there's a presence here there's this softness, this friendliness his gentleness was teaching that's that so I did that, that's how I could read it for 8 hours a day, not consecutively because I was that gentle and I used it for a long time like night shift but I became so interested in what I would get my initial answer I'd be like, I'd keep going so I probably read the book many different times but not chronologically but it's good because it's symphonic it's 31 chapters saying the same thing, did you get it okay, let's try the same, did you get it okay, let's try this, you know it's always saying it in a way that it's beautifully designed to kind of have an experience so that's that's how it worked for me everyone has their own ways but to me I wasn't trying to clear through my pillow and get it through osmosis or whatever it was like a companion but I had to be super gentle with myself, otherwise I felt like the ego was misusing it it's like a crutch or something like something was forced I was being forced to do and I didn't want to force it because I knew I would feel a sense of coercion if I believed that even in the course the book was somehow being thrust down my throat that I would feel a sense of coercion with it and I didn't want that I kind of knew that would send me in the wrong direction with it in a negative way so I really nurtured it because that shanty song will be gentle with yourself and we have it being gentle with yourself the jungle seems to roar we haven't been there before in the side we're all the same there's a light that tries to shine out in you let me say it too outside it's just a game through we sometimes play by don't let the light shine through let the light shine that was the song before you just gave it to us some lady just wrote on facebook oh David's coming to Boston and you've got to get him to burst into songs it's a must experience you're a must this happens I would like to hear shanty oh shanty's voice shanty's thought of this gross it's hysterial