 Absolutely fantastic, always nice, hanging out with you right here on this morning show and my good name is Sakwa and I'm so excited to be right here. This is exactly the last segment of this morning show today. But as always, we can interact on our socials, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Advaitouforfourchannel, underscore on the ground and press on Sakwa one on that hashtag which is hashtag Y in the morning, okay? That's where you get to get the juice. And on this segment, it's all about MCM. And we're definitely going to argue a little bit, okay? So you got to check. So here we are, we can balance for Sihi and, for Sihi and what? They're called phrasal verbs in English, phrasal verbs for those that study English as a minor, as a major. So today we're going to talk about how do you officially, is it, should it be officially or just let's say merely, how do you officially end an argument, especially those that argue a lot with a better half, could be your brother, could be your sister. But they're both sibling rivalry. Sometimes it never ends. But you know what? At the end of the day, as well as those arguments that pop up left, right and center, but you have to keep them objective. But that's escalate like from a thousand to, you know, 50,000 or from zero to a thousand really fast. That's literally the conversation we're going to delve into on our Facebook, Instagram and on Twitter as well. And joining us live in studio today are two powerful lady and gentlemen. I'm going to let them introduce themselves. I'm going to start with the lady. First of all, good morning guys. Good morning. So I'm going to let you introduce yourselves and maybe perhaps what you guys do. First, we can get to the topic at hand. I'm Susamora. I am a journalist. Okay. Journalist, period. But photography. Yeah. And that's how I earn my living. Right. Amazing. You guys are like in the same field, which is really amazing. Now let's get to the topic. And as much as you guys still in the same field, as you work with people, you meet different people, not just family, but even workplaces, your networking, even for you to get here. You spoke to one, two, three people. But there's those that conversations just don't click. And there's those you agree and those you don't agree. But then there's somebody who mentioned you can agree to disagree or disagree to agree. But now it comes now on argument, especially, can I say maybe the toxic conversations, Zealand buzzes in and up, you're like, we are Marushayu, Matusi, we are Maiki, we are Kabla, to proportion, and then ecocoa toxic, especially now in a normal day-to-day conversation. How do you guys argue objectively? First of all, maybe let's start from a point like what exactly makes arguments to pop up? Before we get to like how do you end an argument? Maybe perhaps I can start with you Susan. Like what do you think Inafanya will say when I disagree, especially in conversations mostly? Okay, like you say like you ain't talking with someone. Okay. The other person I feel like, I mean, come on me discourage you are then and as I take it personally. So the argument is as I put the term and I feel like no, yeah, I feel like I was in if I knew it was so what I can say is just just control your argument in a letter, you're okay too. Just control it, see, end it, and extend it and it's a funny, like as theorists fight about argument. Yeah. Yeah. Now, apoco relationships in the way is in Ashikasana. But I'd also like to hear from you, Eric, what do you think from your experience? Even as a gentleman, you know, for younger I say Ina disagree. Now, talk with us, you know, if it was on a disagree on it, it was very minute, like very tiny things. You said this, I didn't agree with that. How I don't like you. Like for me, what makes people to disagree? I think first before getting into a conversation, you risk opening your mouth. So mostly you'll find probably what you're thinking, and maybe what you'll utter will not be the same, maybe to what person, the other person at a skier, from you. But then once you start engaging, then you know, this other person mentally what he's thinking, and maybe probably what you guys want to engage about. But then you find probably because people have been raised from different backgrounds. So what you've probably engaged and maybe come across with that, maybe a friend at a corner, maybe a different thing. So I think before making a conversation with somebody, then you really risk opening your mouth and they would do it, but that's the money in it. But those instances where you're speaking to, maybe you speak to a person you don't like, of course it was depending on what I'm saying, it's just natural, there's nothing you can do about it. But then, for example, it's the conversations of politicians, it's the political analysts, they could say the opposition, it may be the side in a lead, and then there are political salvos thrown left, right, and center. But then it's like we're just arguing professionally, and there were no more conversations, no more arguments should happen. Do you also think, especially when it comes to a story like personality, profession, sometimes status quo, for example, to reach and I'm to many, I can kill you. Do you feel such factors contribute? Yeah, I think so because you'll get, at some point, some of the easy phrases like politicians, for example, they're on a route, and they're on the way, and they're on the way, some type of frame, some of them are on the way, what are you saying? So, when you're to myself, in terms of they are bringing, in terms of the rivalry, and there are people who are probably impending, you know, you feel like you're making a lot of money. So, you know, the type of people maybe are bringing, mostly, when you're to a person, because you'll find probably you're from a single parent family, and maybe you've been having your father, you've been having a mother who is a drunkard. So, through that, you could probably be seeing their faces in their on them. So, I guess what you're saying, is that one I could trigger? Yes. Nice. Let me get back to you Susan, and then we'll also figure from that point. Do you feel like, or say, are you saying, is it in my dem, am I in my Charlie? Yes. From your experience, do you feel like it's ladies who argue a lot, or both? Or maybe it's even vice versa? Okay, what I can say is, okay, let me select ladies who argue a lot, as ladies who argue a lot, and I like, I had to think about, like, to coach me. So, to be able to do that, I have to be able to do it. So, to be able to do it, we can do it. So, as I say, ladies who argue a lot, though, even boys do argue, but ladies who argue a lot, you know like, as ladies who argue, yeah, you know, like, I'm trying to think of ways to see a lever. One thing is, I find it like, I had to know, no, I've had to ask you once, but I just want to know, I've had to ask you once, but I'm not going to ask you, I'm going to ask you to control, but as ladies, I'm going to ask you to control. So, we don't have to come on any left right. But, but I'm going to ask you to control, I'm going to ask you, okay, what I can say is, you know, choose your words before you say me. So, interesting. But most, in most instances, it's usually anger that leads to people to make them argue. Yeah, when a person is extremely angry, like you say, for you, you said, you choose your words before you say them. But for in this situation, we're extremely angry. This person has made you angry. How do you regulate the words you say? Because in most cases, when you're angry, anything that comes out of your mouth is extremely toxic. It could be maybe a nice word, but definitely it will just find a way to get toxic to the other person. I took a money compliment. So, you can most have instances where a person is trying to give another compliment, but to them, they're taking it as an insult. You're like, hey, but you know, design, you know, come on, you know, the person means that, you know, you really look fantastic and gorgeous, but you know, design, when you talk to them, it's like, no, you won't be able to achieve anything. Yeah, like, you come on and say, like, hey, it is in a violin, so even if you attack, say, my direct. So that's when I say, like, just come down now, you're in a negative, you're in a positive way. So I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, wow, Susan, you look so smart. I'm like, I'm going to risk. Like Eric mentioned, like everybody reacts. I'm not taking the situation. Everyone sees a situation in the lenses of their background, which I, I, I a thousand percent agree. Because you can imagine, say, when you talk at an abusive home state, well, for example, maybe the person who was trying to compliment them, I look one, I'm torture, I'm a look one, I say, ma in a sarcastic way, he let design, you're like, ah, son, son, I got poor. But then to them, the subconsciously, they're interpreting it in a way that this is abusive. This is toxic. So what one comfortable with compliments. And then that can also lead to a fight or a disagreement. Now, let me shift the same mindset to you, Eric. Do you feel like men in this generation don't argue? Don't argue a lot. We are in a space where we're encouraged to fight back. Like when a woman throws this one, you throw it back. Is it even healthy, especially in this day and age? I will say some scientific numbers have come up where you'll find ladies speak more than 200,000 words a day, while men probably speak like 70,000. So people say men are lunatics. Men are lunatics. Yes, while ladies are nuts. Because you probably will not be in the right while you're too much. 20,000 words. So a lot of men are close to 7,000 words. That is in a day? Yes, in a day. So with that statistic, you can be very agitated and a lady, you first think about what they have said, and then you react. Like me, there are some other instances that you'll react because probably when you're too much, when you're too much, you're too much, you're too much, you're too much. But I have to say, with these 7,000 words, at least 20,000. So yeah, I think before a gentleman really argues with the lady, then That's an interesting statistic. I'll read about it. Now, I'm also on that ear statistic with my piano. What of men who live alone? The next day. So unless you're speaking less than 500 words in a day. Maybe you're going to like two, three people job. Once it's done, you go back to your lonely self. You see, most men really are not people. So if you are really action-oriented men, so that is but then you'll find out that these men who we are not speaking to anybody, probably you're also single. So this happens that mentally, a man meant to not go to coachy. You remember June is the mental health month. So that way, to not do that in a lot of shows, in a lot of people's mouths, I would ask you to mention such things. But then these are things that we also need to check, men not speaking too much. But what if somebody was telling me, if you feel alone and you stay alone, bonus is an opportunity to create a safe space of like you being in a space where you love yourself, you give yourself love, other than being out there a lot. In the space of interacting with a lot of people, why can't you find a satisfaction in just being alone? And I happened to have met like two, three friends who are like, they just come for to go pick up a guy, so I was really wondering, you know, with what you said like mentally, I feel like maybe it goes also to personality as well. You see, a lot of when you speak a lot, you open your heart a lot. So you will not be holding on to that emotional back. At least you are free. And personality doesn't really matter when it comes to maybe talking because they are friends when you are engaged and when you are with them. But there are people who don't know, it really depends with those people who put you up and those people who try to bring you down. All right, let me come back to you, Susan, as we pick it up on a different angle. What do you think, especially in relationship setups that makes women to argue a lot with their other half, especially maybe for person is dating, maybe they are almost engaged as well, or maybe they're just temporary partners because, you know, these things sometimes they last, sometimes they don't. And we've seen people who were dead, they did a massive wedding, but then they argued, by the way, they argued before Kachanda. First, what I can say is, one thing, just be open. Be open about your feelings. Don't worry about being right. No one is perfect. Be open about your feelings and don't worry about your thoughts. Yeah, because no one is perfect. No one is perfect. I feel like I need somebody like, okay, like I need to pay you a piece in your heart. He said, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm just happy. Yeah. But in a relationship, I usually sensitive and also a motive. I don't know if the motive like emotionally invested mostly a lot for the man or for the women. Who do you think invest a lot of emotions in relationships? I mean, it's both. Do you guys feel like it's men who invest in emotions and women? Both. Are both invested in emotions? Yeah. I think for me, it's ladies. Because ladies, oftenly, are more emotional, while men are materialistically... Emotionally unavailable. Yes, unavailable. All right. But also when you look at it from a point of like a young person's mind, for example, in a space of family now, we'll say, well, he grew up, and all this is actually part of the dynamics of what to call interact, which is interpersonal relationships between not even just family, even friends. But how do you, how do you argue objectively with your sibling to a point or more easy? And then you can end it like peacefully, especially when you're first born. Am I any last born? Because I hear last bonds and first bonds, energy are equal. He's like a younger parent to the first born. In fact, you end on a parent the rest of the family. How do you argue objectively so that you don't hurt your smaller sibling, especially when you say I'm a star born? I don't know if any of you who's, any of you who's a first born? Am I last born? I'm a first born. You're a first born. Yeah. My last born. You're a last born. Let's pick it up from there. Let's pick it up from there. So from your first born, let me start off with you, Susan. From your first born experience, is it a sister or a brother? A sister. All right. I'm going to argue all my ladies and your star born, as in how, how would she giving instructions and direction? How was she correcting you whenever you missed a marker or you did something wrong? Like, you know, like okay. Let me say, like when I say you're a first born, It was a first-born woman who took my first birth, but she had come out like me. So I was last born and I felt like I was the same. So I felt like I was coming out and I was coming out. I was sitting and I was sitting in my way. I was coming out and I was coming out to see you. So I was going to see you and I was going to drink. I was going to see you. Drinking alcohol? I was drinking alcohol. I was older than the last born. So I did it anyway I did it so I can control. So you just do it. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a part of, maybe, you know, I did it in video, and it's part of first, but I'm going to say one word, and I make, what I call it, everything. All right. Mr. Firstbun, how are you treating your, your last bones if you have one? Amma, you were the first one and still the last one. There's like a couple of siblings in between. Yeah, I have... We are only two in our family, so... Damn a boy, Amma. Damn a boy. Oh, nice. Balanced still. So how do you treat your sister? You see, to match another three years, so what I've gone through with my parents, it's not the same thing. Amma, same trauma, amma, same situation. Yeah, I'm a Pitya, I'm a Pata, I'm a family of eight. So through that, I'm very humble enough to do... She takes after my father, or takes this after my mother. I'm the one who takes after my mother, I'm the one who takes after my dad. So with that... So you're more reserved and conservative. She's more outgoing and talkative. Yeah. So that way you'll find... I would say, you know, it's a little... I'm a woman, I'm a humble man. And I would say, I'm not very good, but I'm still getting some ideas, you know. So that means, I'm very good at caring. But I'm a... Me, I'm not very good. And I would say, my sister is so beautiful, I'm the first born. She was like, yeah, she's the same. I'm a woman, so I'm not that good. I'm a woman, I'm a woman. But then, with knowing when you bring her up, the fact that you demand respect from her through kumongelesha inna, inna mana that's when you brother ake, when she baba ake, when she mama ake. So that way, na kumne isi a happy life na, probably amta kua nazile sibling conflicts here. So atabuki to ado, mama aku pigi aku ambe, aniko chi ini siuni saidi e, definitely utamu ambe e, labda piamini ko chi ini, isi acha niku peiki dogo, that way ata kua nganana e, lakini brokuna ana kua nga chi ini lakini ana ni saidi e, lakini kamaen ulam tu, inna pigiwa nga mama panna kusho e, si ina ki itu, si uta kua meka si reka, asai ki, ki na doka nga kua nyomba subui, ana ki itu aku fanya. Sasa atasin doa ni welda. Kuna kua ngana ele big bro pride, like I have a big brother is a protector, and I have a big sister, ele big sis energy. So in short a party big bro energy, ma big sister energy. We were not talking to our real brother about us for a long time, we were saying that he will probably give us a business after the other. So I'm like even three years, I was in 3 years, which was a big margins. Yeah, it was a big margin, maybe two years LASMA family in a elevate to dogo. If you have a club size, maybe you have a bedroom with a single male. Like Mario Grob, physical and also mental as well. So that way, you have to conflict that much. But then you have to think about it. Maybe you have to think about it. When you are in your second or last born, you really need to watch your mouth. Then that way, if you have any discipline between new people, if you don't know how to do it, maybe if you are in Tokyo, if you don't know how to do it, you will be dragged somewhere. You will have a very big issue. If you have friends, if you have a brother, if you have a sibling. As you expected, if you are in trouble, someone to come and bail you out should be your sister or your big brother. But you guys are not coherent. Which you feel is very bad. But I think it depends also. There are people who have a very dense and extremely tight, broken, in fact the word is broken, broken relationship with part of the family. Maybe when you were hurt at some point in life it was so detrimental to their mental or being self-esteem or whatever. So you prefer to even call a friend. And a friend can even help you faster than a family member. Right? I think probably, if you are in a situation where you have a big problem, maybe your father is in trouble, maybe your mother is in trouble, your father is in trouble. So in a situation like this, if you grow in you, then probably you will mess up, you will say, Mom, you are growing in a family which has a lot of love. But I think there are conflicts and maybe your father is in trouble. Mom is in trouble. Maybe there are maybe twins, there are triplets, there are quadriplets. So maybe there are conflicts, there are problems, there are issues. That's why I really advise schools where there are psychiatrists, maybe there are psychology programs. At least what we do in such toxic families where there is no health, maybe in these situations there are families where there is no health. Maybe there are people who are in trouble. There are people who are sick. There are people who are in trouble. There are people who are in a bad way. There are people who are in a bad way. There are people who are in a bad way. I will tell you a little bit, please tell me, what's the problem? I have a lot to learn. That's a lot to learn. But then back to you Susan, I feel a fear arguing really a bad thing, arguments are not really... an argument is not a bad thing. It also exposes your communication skills, your communication styles. You mentioned at some point your emotional capacity and your mental capacity and also your sense of awareness and emotional growth. But then what happens, they keep a record of all the bad things. But then I'm going to do an incident here, Leo II, who I've been looking for for a long time, and I took a whole print out. It's like a whole book. I'm going to go and take a video. Then you'll go to 2012, 2020, 2019, I'm going to take a letter, but I don't know who I'm going to say, I'm going to go and take a video. And then I'm going to explore data, I don't have a chance to explain it. What happens to such people? Okay, one thing, just try to add a certain point of view of someone. So I'm going to add that point of view, people are like, hey, I'm speaking English. You're speaking English, because if you speak English, you can learn English. But then you can rip it up. And then you can say, okay, I'm speaking English, I don't have a place to speak English, or I can post something, or I can read it. And that's the end of that. So I'm going to add that point of view of someone. Right. So I think I have a conclusion. I am a foreigner, I am not a foreigner. I am a foreigner, I am not a foreigner. What if those that, perhaps it comes from a genuine place? Like at the Menteaca, yes, you're trying to correct him or her, but it comes from a genuine place. Maybe there's a time when you're a Mimiza. Now it's genuine, alhumia, but you didn't notice it. And do you know most of the time when you're hurting someone with words? You can't know if you're hurting them, if your words are hurtful to them. Yeah. Because you don't know the weight of those words and how they affect them emotionally. So what do you from a genuine place hurt? And maybe this is the time, they have to revert. Yeah, maybe let me say like, okay, come out like two friends who are apart. Some of them hurt me, right? Yes. So it's good to have friends who are open to me too. Yeah. I feel like it's good to have friends who are open to me too. So when I'm open to my friends, I just do right. I try to help them or her. Okay. Yeah. Let me sample some of your feedback. I think we've got around six minutes to go. There's somebody in it. Lose Molly and I said, my good morning. Good morning to just been silent. I hate arguing. So there's people who prefer to just like mute no comments, no nothing. They say looking a fool. Am I looking like a fool? Maurice Jacob Makoha and I said, my good morning. Good morning to as usual tuning from Kakamega and Musia Cabras. My best line to end an argument is I just keep quiet. What are you guys? Misha Makenya and Nini. And then Henry Dijong and I said, my good morning. Good morning. Tune in live from Vasha. Oh, where were you? Where were you? Where were you? Henry, when you quietly. I usually keep silent and go out some time. Then back when arguments are over. Oh, wow. That's therapeutic. Like you're not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I guess you could be married. But from your profile, you don't really look married. I'm judging from TV side. See, see, literally. There's, there's what, none of my summer reason you argue. Nice, nice. And it's your, I might say you. Good morning. Good morning to you. And I say, my daughter argue. Maybe I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. I'm talking to her. All right. I do milo King Oreo. I'm a woman. I say, I'm a kid. I'm just that. Even there. And then the last one. And I did. Platy, platypus. Kee. Hey, so I said, but maybe you can. She does for argument. Now, I'm not going to come down more. The makeup or emojis are. Zilla's a twist much. I'm going to go down. I say, show equal late. Thank you. Platypus. Kee. So, I say from this feedback, guys, it seems like, like everyone has their own style and version of handling an argument. But then now, how do you end it objectively? I just, I would like one line from you, maybe just a few lines from me and then I'll film you as well. Like, how do you end an argument? Well, I'm a, how do you, maybe you can tell us how to be mean. Who can tell us how do you become mean to a person in an argument? And how do you end it in a subtle and a nice way? So, perhaps you can think of like, how do you become mean to a person? Like, you can't argue, man. You can't argue with me. How do you become mean to a person? And then how do you end it in a smooth way? So, I'm gonna go with you. Wow. Some type of words like those that probably you could tell somebody I'm a corner this other punchline Maybe you're coming something you might tell them You see my beat The way you're talking does not go in hand with your ugly face so sometimes people use a lot of tags Nani is Currently nezad say man. I do am biya. Yeah, and what's it really toxic sauna like what's a heartful? Yeah, there's a there's a I think is it a philosophy loss a farmer one of the writers who said people will remember what you said to them then what you did to them I don't if it I don't if it's true like I'm talking about as a lemon and only ambiwa and it seems like it's true Why do I keep on remembering what's in the corner? I'm doing a q-audition For the first time in Kansas is tourism media as like you've been told no your to block where you mostly at Like what's just echo in your brain and they're permanently aged Man, I would be careful on the what's I also think that men tend to hold Emotional baggage too much than right ladies because ladies If you're a person who is a materialistic giver then Wow, I took up and I can't be sad. I can't say more. They are not people like a motionally attached Yeah, I think it's kids Like you know, I'm a sit-up and excuse on the woman as not to miss on a sauna like you need ladies way I'm pecky too. Oh, yeah, I don't say my eye and they're very expressive Yeah, they express it like once twice done. Yeah, but for you, it's just permanently aged Because I don't I say my it's like you take it to the grave. Yeah, all right interesting Susan, how do you end a conversation an argument rather in a sweet way? Musa make a bunny lembaya, but you're like God bless your hearts Okay, like you know, could not this people some people let me say some people I'm not gonna hear weakness here are gay issues So could a man as a has to raise a case you can find a cousin who's a control in is a cool Sana so I can say it just try to cool us So just try to come yourself We can just keep quiet. Yeah, yeah, just being quiet being silent. Yeah Okay, you guys are giving are giving the best the best sentiment several so you can see a social media as we go very first Facebook Susamora Tiktok Sue Addis Kumawara Instagram Sue Addis Kumawara Okay, I'm you can find me on all platforms at the underscore stone productions and at Facebook Eric Dallin stone All right, those are your social media handles. Yeah, that's all. Thank you guys. It has been an amazing chance I feel like we just got started. Thank you All right, you're welcome and we ended here by the way on that hashtag Which is why in the morning on Facebook Instagram and on Twitter at way to for underscore channel on the drum And everywhere else in social media as well to for food channel We see you tomorrow for entrepreneurship Tuesday as well as health Tuesday as well Personally at Brian Sacco 101. I'm Brian Sacco again. Thank you for watching. See you tomorrow