 us soca it's a star war show there'll be lightsabers phelonis what a lot of lightsabers what oh my god that's gonna be the sentiment once the show is over this is his big grand adventure this is his big test as it were because this is his shark the other because the other tests weren't him in the other ones don't count even though he was executive producer they don't count but they kind of do but they don't this is an awesome piece this is his third season of the Mandalorian was like in a huge part like written by him john john john john was also there he was john was also there every single episode of a soca was written by Dave pheloni and he directed a few of the episodes but he wrote every episode alone this is his grand adventure this is his this is his crossed back i would rather talk about the much more medicine is me like the first target was a new hope and then they they went for it and they gutted it and squeezed it for all of it was worth they failed miserably to push it forward and to benefit to even transfer that that wonderful energy that probably would have gotten them a bit of you know the whole like moving the the fun of the old into the new and then be able to bank on the new they're going to try and make that ray movie but that's going to be a huge mistake there was an era and this was fucking ages ago now that we were like wait a second that's prequel stuff what you're doing with prequel stuff what's going on and then we realized uh even in the marketing and then just full-on seasons of tv where it was just like you like the prequels we like the prequels too it's like no you didn't yeah you said you didn't like the prequels which is a fascinating shift but they it's done they sucked all prequels for what they're worth too that's fucked yeah because their own stuff wasn't taken off they had their own trilogy of movies plus and it still didn't catch on so they said oh uh prequels people like the prequels and then and then that really culminated in obi-wan kenobi which that feels like gotta be the biggest disappointment in star wars for a long time what better way to say yes uh the greatest elements to extract and use from the prequels than anakin skywalker and obi-wan kenobi and doth vader and the era you know between prequels in the sequels and order 66 uh fallout it's like yep you use all of it for nothing it was a fucking worthless show now play a clip of something cringe it's great horror and memory hold basically all of these shows and every time we get mentioned like oh we watch like all over fat remember that yeah now that you mentioned it i do remember that yeah yeah just remind you we've seen three seasons of the mandalorian we've seen boba fat the book of we've seen kenobi and and then there was this weird fucking one called andor we saw that guy yeah that was that one that was weird someone someone got fired for that story that was a random show and ain't a crazy show it arguably banks on a spin-off of a new hope and it's this entirely own thing it's all its own characters and to the dismay of many star wars fans it did have bricks in it it had people that's disgusting did it have a single lightsaber sound even i don't i don't think so wonderful that it didn't have any i don't think it was yet i go in the force will be with you always i get the impression that in this show we're going to be hearing a lot of those every effort in the spirit of that observation about the eras of star wars that they wanted to extract as much juice out of as possible but we're now at the point that they're extracting from where i was going with a huge part that is theirs that is the thing that they made which is your character can argue we're still we're transitioning it's partially prequel that was still you know when george lucas was around but it's also partially rebels which was a disney creation that's that's holy disney yeah and that's it rebels to be pretty cringe i've heard that um it's pretty cringe okay thank you we're talking about eras and stuff but not long ago or maybe it was long ago didn't disney want to do like a high republic sort of thing and i guess that just never took off at all the recent announcement that they did was they they broke up the entire star wars timeline into these eras of which i believe seven of them were in the course of maybe like 50 years meanwhile you've got these ones that like comprise thousands of years you know like the new republic then newly created high republic which i think is that 200 300 years before phantom menace there's also going to be uh james mangold's doing that origin story of the jedi film like the very first one which uh i'm not interest i don't like the idea of that at all i don't just don't ruin it you know whatever i'm thinking of right now is better it just don't just don't touch it i don't want an origin story we know how you've handled origin stories they're terrible not even lucas could get origin stories done right so yeah yeah yeah but like stop no when i was a kid much like everyone i loved the jedi and the lightsaber, and it was so cool. And now I'm a, a, a, a, a, a, a cratchety old man on my porch through with my fist shaken, and I hate lightsabers, and I'd never want to see another Jedi again because they've just been ruined for me, and they're so cringy. Now when I think of seeing lightsabers, all I think is, ah, f***'s sake, here we go, like they're s castle. Yeah. Except for it now. We've been near six years since TLJ. Six f***ing. Something is that's been going on for four years away from all of those people that said But in 10 years, TLJ will be considered a masterpiece by everybody. It's getting worse, if anything. Well, I mean, all we've seen is the gradual decline of Star Wars. And more and more flashpoint. Even been that gradual. We're now at a point where people pretty confidently and routinely point out that the MCU sucks and people weren't quite willing to do that like a year ago or especially two years ago. It feels the same here, right? Like it feels like Obi-Wan was the inflection point in terms of a general dislike and disinterest in Star Wars, because people expected a lot of that show. And then when it didn't deliver, it definitely had an effect on people watching and or Mando season three, obviously. People did not like that and people weren't as willing to defend that one. And now we're coming to this show and it'll be interesting to see what the reception is. Even though a haymaker that finally knocked the structure that is Star Wars over, although I think after haymaker after haymaker, you know, of course, we talked about the 10 year looking back at TLJ. Star Wars reputation has gotten worse and worse and worse. The time goes on. I think a lot of people will look back and they will point to the last Jedi being the thing that really started the decline of Star Wars. Because even now, TFA gets a lot of good will, though it has soured. So even though the problems really did begin right off the bat with the Force Awakens, I think more people will point to the last Jedi being the beginning of the ruination, like like in a car crash where it's sudden and but then like you have internal injuries that just kill you over time is kind of the how I think of it in a way. If TLJ was really good, I think people would have been fine with what TFA was setting up and where it was going. He gets out of the car and he's limping. And then just a mobster just guns him down with all of the bullets ever. And the doctor's like, I think it could have been the internal injuries from the car. It could have been the hail of bullets. He also had cancer at AIDS. The amusing thing for us is that this is the first of all the TV shows that we don't have as much context to be upset about if they ruin everything. I don't know anything about any of these people. We know loads about her because I know a little in the other shows. She was great. She was in a few episodes of Mandalorian. Luke turned on a lightsaber and killing stuff. Yeah, she was a cringe bland orange lady. Pretty much. That's it. She's just a cringe bland orange lady was all we got. We're going to be getting from what I understand Sabine. He's got colored hair. She's a Mando question mark. No, I'm not Mando. Yes, she's a Mando tech super genius. That lady Mandalorian season two episodes five. You mean the one with thrown the one that she was? Yeah, the stick lady. She's going to be coming back. We've got Ray Stevenson. That's going to be cool. He's like an actor. He's going to be playing a bad guy. That's fun. The rest of the rebels gang will be in this. Mary Elizabeth Herra. Yeah, that's the one. Yes. The sun is in it. That's we like human hybrid. That's the thing. Oh, and of course, that fellow. Remember at the bar, Zed? Do you remember the pilot man? Yeah, you know his name. You said you said the fella at the bar and I thought you were talking about Dave Velloni. I'll probably be at this. My pure misfortune. I ended up watching a bunch of this show fairly recently because a friend was going through it to prep for a shoker. So is it a soccer or a shoker? I don't fucking know, man. I don't think I've ever had anybody say a shoker. I mean, I think I saw it I honest. You can call her whatever the fuck you want. I don't care. Yes, I care, right. She's my favorite. It is a room room room room room. Too strong, powerful. With Mandor, I felt like we could go into trying to make predictions about what's going to happen. I don't really know what I'm meant to be expecting. If we had seen one was in Rebels, we probably will to make some good predictions. I think between us all, we've seen loads of different things, but with the was actually seen all of Clone Wars. Have you seen all of rebels? All of Clone Wars most of Rebels. And I've seen half of Clone Wars. What I would add, though, is that I don't know that the way that those shows are structured is going to be a good point of reference for how this show will be structured, because the Clone Wars has an overarching story. But I guess you could say it's like semi serialized. There are like these much smaller, condensed arcs and then different ones. Whereas this is just eight straight episodes that are like 50 minutes long for overarching plots. So it might be a bit hard to use Clone Wars as a point of reference. That's kind of what I was saying is like a plus to the show. The fact that we don't know what it can fuck up will likely benefit it. It'll benefit us viewing it. But for people who would benefit the show as well, because we won't be able to criticize it for that. We will instead be like, OK, fair enough. Well, I guess I'm just saying for people who know more about Ahsoka, the character, well, to be fair, with the introduction of what the fuck was her name, Bounty Hunter Lady, Mando season three and two. Oh, Phenix Strand. No, the Mando Lady, the the. He's going to take it over. That's the one, Boca Tard. Oh, so she was at Maskenata. We had all the she's I don't even know why I did. Remember, she's girl Yoda. That's how they've contrived her into the world. They did nothing. Yeah, because she's orange and he's he's green. Orange and green are what we call complimentary colors. All of the artists and chat and in the comment section will agree. And green and red are complimentary colors. Green and orange. That's right. I blue and blue and orange, green and red. You can tell green and orange compliment each other because when Rags speaks, you can see the orange and the green. Great. That's true. And Fringy is green and I am orange. You compliment each other. Well, Fringy is at a new haircut. It sure looks good on the note. I've chat and comments. So I was going to say that they were the ones that were making essays about Okutan and how badly they butchered her in Mando season three. Because remember, we read one of them out that was like looking all about her history and all the things that she's done. We were like, none of this was in the show. And nobody mentioned it. Yeah, she's the bland. The British British British British. I wonder if in making this show, they kind of recognize that a lot of the people are going to be watching it, probably didn't watch all of Clone Wars and Rebels. Yes, but at the same time, that's just narrative juice that you can grab. It's pretty built like histories and you can just imply them even. But you don't really get that at all. We had Burkutan as a point of reference and they just ignored. And that's the thing, right? Maybe this will be better than that. But that's something that we kind of have to think about. So yes, the idea here is that we're going to go into it fairly neutrally. We're going to chat about it as it goes on. And Theo will be our helpful guide for little tidbits. Like when we say who's that and then he goes, oh, it's someone cringe from episode three. Oh, OK. I think my general prediction is going to be whatever the enemies are, they're going to be incompetent and shit. And Star Wars staple. Exactly. And because of all of the new characters having like the little group, they're going to be all really good at all the things they need to be good at. The best even, not remote, not a little bit good. Very good. All of the good. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's really bad. Yeah, bad, well-voting. Yeah, I'm vaguely interested to see how Asoka is characterised. I want to see if there's any consistency to it, whatever, because she's been really bland for like most of the everything she's been in for the past forever, as opposed to being boring, but also having some semblance of a character in Clone Wars. And I don't have any bricks in this fucking show. I'm going to die through that. Well, so one of the things I've seen people talking about is the color grading of this show. So we'll keep that. Yeah, we'll see if it gets an A or an F. He will have nothing but to do. Well, is anything else anyone wants to say before we go ahead and start this thing up? Oh, wait. Yes. We forgot. What about comment showcase? Oh, you fool. That's the first episode of our rags. Oh, my goodness gracious. Who's the new face this time? Are they running? Are they running out of helmets or robots? Do we have a new kitchen sink? Okay, sorry. Clone Trooper guy, guy. Oh, guys, guys. Because it's called David Tennison. He voices a robot, right? Apparently he's voicing the same robot he voiced in Rebels. Yeah, I was going to say that's a clue. The evil guy. Oh, wow, we're doing a big red. That means it's evil. Oh, it doesn't even like fade into the background. It's just scrolling up. Oh, that's okay. It's his own stamp on it. Okay. What is the way to find the lost Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn? Yeah, you have to yell it. Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn. Where did he go? But he's gone. So Katano captured one of Thrawn's allies. Oh, Katano. Secret map. Oh, that was in Mando. Oh, we've got a map. Oh, a secret map. Oh, a map, yeah. Oh, wow. He's planned to soak him in search of the man of prison and Morgan Nelsbeth. Morgan Nelsbeth. He was in the New Republic of Trout. They only just done that, wasn't that, ages ago? Didn't Morgan get captured in season two of Mando? Yeah, that was a while ago. Jesus Christ. Do you remember when Gus Fring was taken? And they didn't even notice. Yeah, yeah, they didn't even notice. He didn't show up at trial. It's like, he didn't show up. Yeah, he didn't show up. That's right. How inspired a shot of space and then a ship comes into it? How inspired? A ship has entered this sector. They're early. Oh, it's a smart gun guy from Aliens. Ask them to identify themselves and transmit their clearance code. The signal is an old Jedi clearance code. Yeah, but the fact that it's an old one. You can also just talk to him. Well, all of the Jedi stuff is going to be old. You talk to him? I'm calling their bluff. Signal them to come aboard. I want to meet these Jedi. No, I'm calling their bluff by meeting them. No, communicate with them. What if they're holding party? If they just hold party, you're fucked. You just invited them to your ship. Why? Yeah, if they are Jedi and they're bad, you're fucked. And they're going to hell. I love that he said, like, they're probably lying. Now to go kill myself. Oh, come on. No way. They're all going to die. It is going to take over this ship. Look at him. Look at his hands. He's got a custom helmet. He does have a custom helmet. This is so fucking stupid. Holy shit. Look, I'm going to keep this on that ship. What if they just pour out and start shooting you? Yeah, please. The ship looks evil already. Oh, they're wearing black cloaks. Oh, come on. They'd be more obvious. Yeah, these are the bag. So they're just going to kill everybody. Thank you for allowing us to come on board. Yeah, we don't know why you did, but thanks. You're no Jedi. Just some overconfident Imperial trash who pushed their luck too far. He's antagonizing them. Why? Why would you not say could you provide some proof or identification? Can you make something float? Scan these imposters for identification. Allow me to show you our identity. Yeah, he's going to kill them. He's going to kill them. Very nice. Oh, fucking brilliant. Yeah, that's crazy. What was the fucking point? How could this have happened? We are no Jedi. Yeah, I got that. Oh, no way. Very bad boy. I can't believe this happened. There's a whole ship full of soldiers, so what now? Oh, they took a Luger. They based it off of a Luger. You can tell by the grip. Half the security tail is dead. Oh, you're cringe. Why do you like poles to take a hood down? No, two of us can do it. OK, three of us shoot at once. Oh, never mind, OK. As if I wanted to see a spooky dog figure in black out through the lightsaber kill a bunch of people in spaceship. I haven't ever seen that before. That could be cool. Why did they stop shooting at him? Yeah, everyone's just stopped. Because they knew they'd lost. This is shit already. No. What a great chest impression, geez. So he deactivated the saber. Someone right. Wait, you can do that? Don't you have to have like an understanding of the internal mechanisms of that in order to? Of course. OK, with us always. Why did it take? When is this meant to be stuck? Oh, no. Where's the rest of the soldiers of this huge ship? She knows about Thron. Yeah, because you told me. So like this reveals. So this like reveals the Sith to the New Republic and everything, right? It seemed like he was familiar. He was familiar with Jedi, but not Sith, which is weird. You know what? This one, there was nothing clever or interesting about any of that. No, it was awful. They didn't like subvert the ship's security to free the prisoner and make him escape. Hi, we're actually evil or whatever. I remember when Han and Luke had to hide from all these soldiers on these big ships. Oh. Oh, I love Egypt. Oh, that's on earth. Space Egypt. This is this is. There she is. Do they have sandcones on? Yeah, Soka. He's my favorite. I love a Soka because she's so amazing and awesome. And I sure do love a Soka. Tano, how long are we going to spend on big sweeping? Oh, God, is this Mortis? What's my what is that bad stuff in the Clone Wars that would take a while to explain? Wait, the wait. Mortis is the name of something bad. Yeah, great. Oh, nice place. Like, all I'm going to say is force avatars. You know, Mortis is Latin for our death. So not everyone's death just ours. Oh, my God, that is. Oh, that was a terrible. Oh, you don't know how deep that was. You know, I do. It's going to happen when you did that. That was cringe. Also, what a lame way to get into an ancient temple. You just cut through the fucking wall. Oh, it's a cool way to get in. No, it's not a wall, but it's a sideways wall. It does look like the apple of age. Oh, yeah. I love me some sad. I didn't know that Assassin's Creed was a prequel or sequel. Maybe it's great. We get to explore the least interesting part of Assassin's Creed in a Soka Tano show. OK, we're indulging a little bit now. Come on. Oh, I thought it'd be like a bubble. No, no, you you turn the top part and then it makes a machine go. You just turn that one, too. Yeah, you just turn this one. Yeah, and that points to video game puzzle. Why wouldn't you make it something she has to understand? So oh, I guess that's a puzzle. But it feels like what if you turn it in another way and look from a different angle? Yeah, we're going to wind up another ball. That doesn't lie around because it's a straight line. Why are you smiling? Yeah, it's a smug. She figured it out. Oh, OK. But what did she figure out? It looks like she could have aimed at a couple of different places, but OK. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Why don't you just use your lightsaber and cut through the wall? Yeah, wait. Whatever she's unlocking, just cut it open with your legs. Just cut it open. It literally doesn't matter. Maybe she's just nailing this. So she's been here before then. Well, no, this is this is the place that she got as information from Lady when she was a member. She was like, you need a map to get to the woman. Lady is the reason she's here. But to be honest with you, it's the point that she's like using the force to figure out where she's meant to put it. Yeah, what she's doing? Well, you have to force to figure out the ground and like not looking at it. It almost is like, ah, yes. See, she's sensing. What's what does this got to do with the force? If bad guys put it here as a map to throne, why did they put a map to throne in a big table? Maybe it's not the force. Maybe I'm maybe I'm wrong. Now I'm starting like this is supposed to be a map to throne, right? Why is it so I want it somewhere like crazy? Yeah. Can you just put it in a box and put a padlock on it? All the ancient temple to use a map to get through. She could have just cut through the floor like she did before. I'm going to say, I feel like it's insisting upon itself right now. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's the last element that all we need that to stop the meteor. Oh, no. Intended, I guess it is. Oh, there you go. Ultipast. Oh, there it is. It's the snitch. How come it was an ash? Big chunky snitch. Oh, the the power stones in there. Oh, it's the apple of Eden or something. We've got to come up with more references. I did the steps. You've got three. It's it's I feel like there's a million and we just all didn't have any dragon. Yeah, I love going to lock balls. I found it. You're not. That's why he's the voice of one of the robots. I guess that's a robot. Wait, can we get back to him? Can you hurry the fuck up? Rags, this whole seat is not been hurrying up. Oh, hey, bud. Come no closer. No. The map. Give it to us. Wait, did they coincidentally get here at the exact same time as her? I wasn't waiting at the top of the hole. Unlock it in which case. Why would they need it to do that if it was a bad guy's map in the first place? Whoa, they've got cool anti lightsaber weapons. God, of course they do. Otherwise, this would be boring and shit. Is the second one shorter than the first one? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, the different. OK, they're gone. Now the white lightsaber is so fucking cringe and try hard. Action C, number two. Here we go. What? That was quick. How did she know where they are? I feel like her cloak would fucking burn. Consistently, in her tails, too, on her head. Oh, yeah, those would be flopping around. Why do you hold that pose for so long? No, don't say that aloud in return. Why do you? Those two didn't need to do that. Why do they have to? No, it closed that. What? What's the point of that? Initiate self-destruct protocol. Why would you give it so much time? Just have it explode and not say anything. She's going around. I still haven't got one map because this would blow it up, right? Yeah, why? What? This would be a long. Guys, it's one shot and a Jedi state. One shotgun. Oh, my Jesus Christ. Oh, my goodness. What? Oh, my God. It's a fire. Why is there so much? They've blown up the planet. What? Oh, my God. Oh, God. What the hell? What were you planning on getting the map? They just created the war door in space. Jesus. He's treating so casually, too. Good thing I arrived when I did. OK. Well, anyway, moving on, I guess. If you didn't keep at such a safe distance, maybe we wouldn't have lost communication. I mean, you were underground. But you can talk to people on other planets and stuff. I have my programming. Next time, stay close. I feel like that doesn't address the point that he's making, which is that he's programmed to do it the other way. Yeah, which might want to change his programming. Exactly. I found it. The map? Right where Morgan said it would be. I still don't get how the bad guys didn't have control over that map when she's the bad guy that gave her the info. It's a bright thrusters. Fulcrum, this is home one. Do you copy? There's been an incident. How close was that? I'm not even going to bother. You can get to anywhere in the galaxy at any time. Wait, so are you telling me they just destroyed the ship somehow? And surely, there's hundreds of people left on the ship. Just like right. But wait, wasn't there a ship for the droids? What did they arrive on? Oh, I guess they blew it up. Like they watched a lot of ship. Here it is, the star of Final Destination 3. And other movies. I think she may have been one or two things other than that. But that's her main role. And she's Rebel's character, right? Yep, you excited? Yeah? Look, there we go. She was the closest thing to a good character in Rebels? Oh, OK. She was like, OK. Oh, I will say it's kind of neat that our gang so far is two aliens and a robot. That's neat. Yeah? Yay. He seemed to have abilities like you. These days, there are few who can wield the force. Does they not know about perhaps one of them at all? But they would have to. She's running to Sith like all the time. I find it weird. She knows about Jedi, but not Sith. Like what's? Yang, make a copy. I don't know. She's a guy in the Sith, but I mean, you'd assume. And also the emperor, you know? The emperor's not bad, though. I feel like there are bad Jedi. It would be more well-run than Jedi. She's running to them like loads of times. Yeah, you're right. She was running to the Threat Rebels. Starmac, this one holds the secret Morgan's after. The location of the last missing They really took their time with that. That seems like super important information. Okay. What if the Grand Admiral moves? In an ancient temple that leads to Thrawn? Why? That's a problem. Why is it a great question? I'm sure we'll find out. Thrawn. Thrawn died at the Battle of Lothal. His death was never confirmed. I bet most deaths aren't confirmed in these kinds of battles. I'm so confused as to what Thrawn actually is. Big blue man. I'm so confused. I mean, I know he's the big blue man, but why is he ever was like, we've got to build a temple. He's just so fucking clever that he's gonna bring the Empire back. Can't help but jerk off how clever he is, which means he needs a map to him. Did they learn nothing from false awakens of that map? If Thrawn survived, does that mean Ezra? Oh, Ezra, that's another one of those characters. He's not a Rebels character, right? He was the main character. He'll probably shop in this, right? Probably. Nothing is certain, except our enemies believe that they know where to look. But if the enemy knows where to look, then surely they've already gone there, right? Let's take a look at this map. We cannot show you the map. The device is locked. Why don't you? Didn't you open with that? Yeah, how did this long for you to say we have a map to Thrawn, we can't unlock it? The defense council is requesting an update on the incident. Tell them I'll be right there. He'll be right there. You know who could help you with this. I do. What's with all the pauses? Oh, my God. Just talk like normal people. You just have to drag out every scene. That's the one that pauses. So dragged. 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Not saying anything of substance. That's the annoying part because it could be confused with us. See, they're like biting their time, building an atmosphere. But it's just big long pauses. I don't record it, by the way, but she said they're going to run an identity thing like a scan on the lightsabers for the bad guys. Why wouldn't they have done that already? The Empire was defeated thanks to the rogue efforts of Commander Ezra Bridger. Why does that? Wait a minute. Clancy Brown. Yeah, he's a novel of Rebelsman. I guess we're just getting everyone. You can tell it's Star Wars because there's no fucking rails on anything. He has played a Star Wars character before, but he was a demon, so it's fine. Commander Sabine Wren. And Sabine. Oh, and they got the mural. Sabine Wren. But she hasn't been here the whole time. Oh, she's going to come in on a jet pack. She's going to fly down. Why are we waiting for Commander Wren's arrival? No rails on anything. The city looks very fake. There's no windows. There's no, like, the volume. Yeah, nothing's real. So every set is, like, really small. Finder. Now. Look. Oh, it's a fire. It's a Mando, too. It's just so cool. What are we doing? Oh, god, look at me. Oh, no. Oh, this is just. Oh, my god. This is the right of grabbing me and saying she's cool. Maybe I'll just let me go. He looked like a clown. Oh, she's so fucking badass, dude. Oh, she's going to. She's going to. When she's driving her motorbike. These guys are going to try and stop it, but they won't be successful because she's a badass. What do you want, Porter? Governor Zaddy is looking for you. Why is that? You were there. By the way, it's not. It doesn't make you cool to skip on the ceremony about the war and the sacrifices people made. It doesn't make any sense. That's kind of makes you. You're a real dick, actually. Well, here's a new order. Get lost. You just disable her thing remotely or whatever. Oh, is she going to, like, go over the top? She's going to ramp over the top. Over the top or beneath it. She doesn't listen to anyone. She's dead up. Guys, look, she would come up. I'm still when they put a block of music back in. Jesus, this is awful. God, she's so cool. What a cool, strong, female character. I love her already. I hope I grow up to be just like her. I feel like it'd be funnier if she just stopped, lifted her bike over the rallying and just went on the other side. Why are you calling her her first name? You're not going to refer to the risk of being. One punch, man, or something. That's several it would be in there. Oh, wow. Why did you do that? Why would you risk that crazy idiot? How that would work, though, you would just go to a topple and go and die. Yeah, the French. Now you're evading the police. Is that what you're doing? We're oh, yeah, you're so cool. I need this music to get out of my ears. I got it low. It is so cool. Music was so great. Oh, they gave up whatever and the road that ends. And then you just go off into nothing. What the fuck? I was asking earlier what this is the road going legit goes to nowhere. Oh, it's a critter. Look, it's a critter. Well, if she just leaves here, you could just go here to get it. You look interesting. Yeah, he's a little space cat. I like it. It's a puppet, at least part of it is. The French part of it, I think. I don't believe that she's a commander with that attitude. Yeah, and they wouldn't refer to her by her first name. And she's insufferable. She's insanely disrespectful because she's so awesome. Disrespecting her own friends who died at the memorial of the memorial service they're doing. And she's like, no, I don't want to go. Actually, I'm just going to ride my motorcycle. Get a mando of stuff out of here. What's the mando tune? Oh, she'll put her helmet on as a payoff later. That's the song we just heard earlier. It'll be a payoff way later. Yeah, because she's feeling discontent about it all or something. And it goes without saying that we are wasting so much time. Yes, we are. Yeah. Well, for the record, we are 26 minutes into this show. That is absolutely nuts. How much have we accomplished in 26 minutes? Really? One of these people went to a temple and she got a map and then she talked to her friend and then the friend directed her to intervene driving up to full no freeway. All right, that is that that is we're going as a Jedi. Sometimes you have to make the decision. No one else can. That's what I did to defeat. Catch of this. Catch of shit. The sex position is been through a lot, grew up together in this rebellion. We're not really family. You're like a sister to me. OK, OK. Oh my goodness. And the force be with you. Is that the line? Oh, the destruction of this entire place. Yeah, maybe we should have our droids destroyed our temple. Why maybe we shouldn't have sent those auto destructive useless ass robots to get the little Padawan. Oh, yeah, she does. We should have sent one person with a shotgun and kill the explosion. Those stones look very white, Bill. We saw a shotgun one time in Manta Season two. Michael Bean, well, there's a shotguns in like some of the Star Wars games, right? Oh, yeah. But I think I think there might be ones in Rebels as well for all I know. But I'm just talking about the sisters of death. I mean, are we away? Do we do a night? Sisters magic. Yeah, yeah. This is the the style of the witch is of death. I mean, you're a witch. A survivor. They're unironically so she's a night sister is what she's saying. Is it? No, it's very different than a witch. OK. Oh, that guy, that guy. People theorize he's Starkiller. His face was in the intro, I think. He was one of the people wanted to be Starkiller. And it's just like, OK, he's he's Ezra. None of these other fuckers have a helmet. Oh, he's definitely going to be a reveal. I don't know what. Yeah, of course. If he was Ezra, would that make any sense, though? I don't think so. Yeah, it'd have to be like brainwashed or some nonsense. That guy is huge. And then night sisters have a very big magic. So maybe he's really short. Yeah, he apparently looks vaguely similar to one of the skins that Starkiller has. And so people are like, oh, my God, he's Starkiller. It's one of the endings from Forza. Oh, he's got the flimpsaber on his back. They've all got the. That's the inquisitive flimpsaber, right? Yeah, but his spikes on it. That makes it cooler. You're looking for Sabine Red. Yeah, why would you? Surprised they didn't have her say man, I've heard about her. She's so cool. She's so cool. I get it soundtrack. It insists upon itself. Look, I'd like to call. I just like to call everyone's attention. We've just hit the 30 minute mark. Does she live on that tower on top? That's the same. Look at all the Stormtrooper helmets. Yeah, I bet she has like an ashtray with the dust. Oh, no, she's discontent. Look, she can't sleep. Oh, no, she sleeps with her boots on. She used to collect different maybe with you. Oh, maybe go to those ceremonies. And she woke up from. Yeah, yeah, it was really bad acting, too. They're flying real close to that tower, aren't they? Yeah. Did the ceremony just like all quickly fucking move on? Like do something. Jesus Christ. Poke in the show with a stick. God, make sure you park close. There's no rails or anything. Oh, you're here now. That probably took like 30 minutes. That would have taken ages, yeah. You missed the ceremony. Was it today or yesterday? What the heck? No, you were there. The one guy said she was just there. So where is she? I don't know. She was just here. Where did she go? I don't know where she went. You were missed, Sabine. Everyone was there. Not everyone. Was that the reason for why she didn't turn up? It's because she feels bad about people dying when that's the whole fucking point of it. Like you're a rebel commander. It's part of your leadership responsibility. She was waiting for him to give us a better reason because I don't know what I'm supposed to make of it. Yeah, I kind of hate her. Talk. She looks like Tumblr made a Star Wars character. Oh, music's really. Long goals. I miss humans talking to each other. Can you please stop? Monty Python like get on with it. Ending there. Get on with it. Holy shit. I think I know how to find Ezra. I have a map to throw. Why did you wait so long to say that? This will help me find Ezra. Apparently they're together. Is that a thing from the show? Did they disappear together? Did you have something to do with Space Whales? I remember seeing comments about this. You didn't have to do with Space Whales. Yes, Ezra went with the Space Whales. I'm going in. There's a lot of time pausing. I'm going fucking crazy. Geez. We've split he left for what I could gather. It's just because to make it crystal clear, you can have big moments where nobody's talking as long as you're achieving something. Did we just watch her go to take a shit? What was happening? I was like, is this like a ship that she's been on before? Is this like a ship? Yeah, she's having nostalgitisms. Oh, she drew on the ship. You really think Ezra's still out there? Nothing is certain. Did we really have a shit break in this show? It looked like it. She got herself a coffee, OK? Where did you find this? In a world named Arkana. It's still named. Arkana. Arkana? Mortis? Mortis of Dathomir's whole planet, Arkana. This is Star Wars, guys. I mean, yeah, the force is like magic, but like, come on. We don't do we need more. We don't need another magic system. This is getting more exciting by the minute. This is getting more exciting by the minute. No one would design a map you couldn't read. There must be a key. What? You wrote a show that nobody could understand. You can't read the map. It wouldn't be a map. What kind of insightful commentary is that? There must be a key to open it. Wow. Presumably, if someone made this map, they intended it to be read at least by themselves. Like, whenever you're ready to pay something. Where do you call home these days? This ship serves me fine. Well, whatever. Ah, Sokka, it's not a true home. Don't you ever get tired of moving from one place to another? No, it's Star Wars. I go where I'm needed. I needed you, Sokka. Not always. Didn't do what you needed. Ah. You never made things easy for me, Master. What do you mean? There is nothing easy about being a Jedi. Then I should have made a good one. Everyone's delivering this very, very meh. Are you false sensitive? Can she use the force? Or she not, is that? Like, yes, the character. She was not. Well, I guess maybe she will be now. Wait, between shows, she became an apprentice? That seems to be the implication. She certainly couldn't use the force. Can I take this? No. Surely, surely in a galaxy full of people who have experts in history and stuff to call upon, right? That's a reason to want to take it so I can think more clearly. No. I'm not sure that's a good idea. Why? It's important. This isn't just about finding this. This map helps the bad guys if they get it with Fuck 2. It's about preventing another war. I'm an actual Jedi. I should probably hold on to it. Except she's not even a Jedi, because. Or whatever. Whatever that means in the world. Pissing of lightsaber, you mean, right? First kind of force. The map stays here. OK. No, she's going to steal it. She's going to take it. Yeah, she don't even take it off. All the dialogue you could have had. And the reasoning. She just said she wanted to think clearly. No, but you see that subtext, Mola. You, you. Oh, thank you for what? Wait, so if she's gone by the time they come back out, that's not going to make any fucking sense. Thank God the robot's doing some fucking work. Yeah. While this lady's chitchat. I was able to reconstruct the details of the two hiltz. Oh, good job, dude. Why was there no one else? That could do this in the Rebel Alliance or the Republic. This one, I do not recognize. But this one, I've only known one student who built a saber such as this, Bailon Skoll. Oh, Skoll? That's not an eyeliner. I can't explain. He disappeared at the end of the Clone Wars. Like so many Jedi. Yeah, like infinite characters you keep coming from. Yeah, exactly. But they all. You know what? I'm just going to say it. I don't care if it makes me sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I don't think Order 66 happened. No. I think it's all fake. I think that that Revenge of the Sith movie was propaganda created by the Republic. I think so. They will be formidable adversaries for you alone. Of course, you may not be alone for much longer. I'm not alone. I have you cool robotoid. Thank you. Who are you? Who are you? So she's gone, right? I was the robot, the only one who talks like a normal person in this show. And he did some work. You're going to like, yeah. We took some scans. And I even ran. That's crazy. How could this have happened? The problem with that is that, like, they would know, surely, and then they would want to. Why isn't she upset? Now where she lives? Yeah. Well, so I assume she's not going to go where she lives. I'll be dumb as fuck. On the rock music this time. No, this is important. Serious music. Thank you. All right. All right. Wow, another free spirit. And she does what she wants. So she's just going back to the same place. No way she's actually going home. So I'm pretty sure the towel was in the right place. Oh, no, it's the evil world. Probably the towel was just like Phantom Menace. She took that road. He's going to walk right up to it. There they go. It's ball. Beep, beep, beep, beep, boop. I never think I've met. So she stole the map just to go home. And now she's been set on by a Sith who's going to, like, this is all stupid as fuck. They're just sitting out there? I'm annoyed that Ahsoka wasn't more like, holy fuck, she stole the map. Wait, are there stanners and radar and stuff? There's like a city over there. They would notice if a ship just like landed there. I mean, you're right, Mola Ahsoka. This is meant to be something that matters to her. I mean, she's pursuing this mission. You'd think that she would care a little bit more to make sure that this didn't happen. It's like double fault because the whole idea is the bad guys want this. And so if they find you, they might try and kill you. I would also like to let everyone know we have hit the 40 minute mark. Can you imagine if you have 40 minutes into an episode of like, oh, Cain, how much stuff would have happened? Oh, geez. That's a good show. Oh. Yeah, I mean, we're slowing back down again. Yeah, yeah. I think 40 minutes ends of Fellowship of the Ring. We're basically leaving the Shire and we've already learned so much about the characters in the state of the world and what might be at stake and, you know, what Frodo and Sam needs to do. And we go back to the robot. It makes you wonder what the screen place for these episodes look like. Yeah, ponders hit orb for 10 minutes. She's going to solve this like right now, isn't she? All I want them to, like, the thing to win me back would be to have an interesting solution to why she can crack that open. Like, it's not a Rubik's cube and apparently you're just looking for a key. She took the map off the ship when I... And you haven't pursued her. Go and get it. Maybe she just needed some space to think. You don't need space to think with a map. All clear, according to Lady Ren. See? There you go. Why are you... Why are you... ...reacting to this normally? Nobody's reacting to this normally. We want to protect it. It's not about whether or not she has the orb. She took it and she went off. You know, the place I got it from, some robots attacked me and then blew up. And they destroyed like the whole area. You should have seen the firestorm they created. People are looking for this. Of all the people in the galaxy, how come Sabine is the one who you need for the map? Don't you have like expert cryptographers and historians and... Well, she's from the other show, though. She's a tech whiz, therefore, I guess, machines. I'm sure the galaxy is full of stable ones, though. Yeah, she built like a giga war crime weapon when she was really, really young. Oh, as you do. She's really cool, guys. So they let her have the key to Thrawn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. How about your master found you difficult at times? Ah, listen to that ominous music. Remember, if you don't, Anakin is Darth Vader. For the end of the Clone Wars, I walked away from him. Oh, sad robot face. I walked away from Sabine. I walked away from every... Sorry I brought it up. She's just like, yeah, I know. Why are you telling me this? Sometimes even the right reasons have the wrong consequences. What do we do then? That was so stupid. Why did the conversation lead there? Sometimes the right things have the wrong consequences. What do we do then? Like, oh, man, floaty, yes. I know, I'm tired. How long have you been here? How about this nighttime? Why on the Soka here? Or is it not nighttime? Just get in the... Isn't she a fucking ship? Isn't she a commander? Don't she have been in the house? Her very prominent house. Where have you been? What have the Sith been doing? Don't tell me the cat is going to like roll it over and just fits into place on the map somewhere or it's like, oh, that's the solution. Oh, oh, she's realizing. Yeah, but this doesn't mean anything to me. Think about it. If I can't connect with what's being done. Three figures. Think about it. Three figures. Wow. That makes a lot of sense. Dick Tecto. I'm so terrified that this means mortis stuff. Three faces. Three faces. Three manifestations of aspects of the force. Perhaps six years. He walks towards it any more slowly. Yes. Wait, three, three faces, three figures. Oh, of course. Are you playing a golf game on your DS? What are you doing? Oh, that wasn't what you drew. I saw what you did. You drew like three circles with dots if she just fucking presses a button, I'm going to lose my mind. Look, what do you mean? Yeah, but we have to look at it. You just have to look at it. I don't think we just have to press one button and that would be the key. Thanks, I got it. Surely you would have pressed it by accident, though. You think that you might have. No, it's just matching. Look, it's matching the way that the cuts. Rubik's key. You could have done that by accident. You wouldn't need any information. Just solve the puzzle on its own. That's the first thing I want to say to all the combinations. Oh, come on. Not even a Rubik's cube. That's not even that many combinations anyway. Why couldn't the person do this? I don't know what she's doing other than spinning it around. Wow, she's choking me. That's it? Oh, that sucks. Oh, does it float? I guess it floats. Yeah, it floats. Oh, we got it floats now. Oh, it's some other galaxy, rather than me. You need to tell Soka right now. Oh, my goodness. That was so cute. What are you trying to look at the galaxy? Oh, my gosh, it looked so far away from down here. Droid's going to be, it is nighttime. I can't, I fucking can't believe this shit. Soka, what are you doing? What happened to the Sith? She's over here. I think I'm going on a trip. Oh, no. Good job, Droid. Look how they explode. No, it's the robot. You can't overpower it. It's the robot. What are you doing? Remember, RG1 punched it in the head. It's still punching the robot. Oh, yeah, you're screwed, because it's got a hold of you. Shoot her. Shoot her with a gun. Oh, no. Oh, shoot her. I appreciate that. You should have. Why didn't he execute her? Yeah, that would have made way more sense. Oh, wow. No, that worked. How did the gun fall from his behind to here in front? Do you see that? How did the gun get there? Who yet any backup now? Who young is on the Soka? You took this long to fucking tell him anything. You guys are fucking acting. What am I thinking? So don't have any urgency, Soka. It's fine. Did you notice that the Soka was not looking at the robot? She was looking like, wait for me. Apparently, those two have been talking over the hologram once. Also, wait. Oh, wait. It actually might be worth grabbing that helmet, by the way. Wow, look at this. Oh, no. Why have you been waiting here? Why did you wait? Wait, if she had a blaster, she could have shot the robot. Do a blast round. Use the force and choke her. Use the force and break her neck. Just explode the droid and you're fine. Oh, spooky walk. Oh, yeah, maybe if you walk even slower. So you should be telling a Soka on the thing right now. She's handed it to a droid. Why isn't the droid just running for it? Yeah, I guess it wants to see this is epic. Your commander, get back. Oh, my fucking god. Come on. OK. Oh, that was. Oh, wow. Yeah, lock swords. Lock balls. Oh, man. This is all right. This has been bad. Oh, this looks bad. That's what's happening. She wants to be so cool. You've only just now got in the pilot seat. You've been here all day. Fuck off. And by the way, the police. So let's do that in the city commander. You can have the army here. You've got a fucking empire official with a lightsaber trying to kill one of your citizens right now. How was Sabine? Have they arrived by a ship? Going to have a ship. Yeah, this girl has force powers. Allude the authorities. Oh, man. They've got a ship. You've got to get that ship before they escape on it as well. Man, this fight sucks. This fucking show sucks. But just repeating the same motions over and over again. Well, Star Wars can't fucking grow up, can it? It's the exact same thing every goddamn time. And it's just worse. I would like to give everybody. It is now been 50 minutes. It's been 10 minutes. Keeps getting dragged back. I'm pretty sure the power isn't a different distance again. Soka's got the slasher killer problem where she keeps getting ported backwards every time we see her. Oh, bye. Oh, I guess I'll go. Why are you trying to hit her with the cape? In Batman, if you hit him with a cape, it stumps him, right? Oh, you're dead. You're dead. Yes. OK, you're not going to die, but you should be dead. Oh, are we going to do the Kenobi thing of getting stabbed to the lightsaber? Everybody has, right? We've established Obi-Wan. Qui-God died of AIDS. He didn't actually die from the death. No, why? She's not dead. No, they're not going to fucking kill her. So at this point, why are you going to kill a purple in person? Why God was the exception to the rule? Holy fuck, that was really bad, really fast. That collides pretty quickly. That was 50 minutes, Dave. Oh, my God, that was bad. You're being directed by Dave Filoni. This is all I'm creating by Dave Filoni. Fucking eternity, dude. I'm saying based on Star Wars by George Lucas, you liar. Goddamn. Yeah, that was just shit. That was just standard bad Star Wars Disney Star Wars writing. Fucking hells. Dude, I've heard some people say the only real problem is that it's boring. It's like, this is, I mean, it is really boring, but like it's badly written. Horribly written. Finding a scene that goes by without something ejectionable happening is like impossible. Which is crazy considering how the bad guys have the map. Why? Because everyone's retarded. The only reason I've got it is because it's like, I want it. Why? Well, you know, help me think. No. And I'm going to leave now. Oh, Dave, oh, Dave, she took it. And it took us a while to consider going, yeah. And then it took a while to actually go and get it. And how the bad guys have a big advantage. You can't have it. Now I'm just going to leave you in a room with it alone while I go and talk to my robot. I'm going to pretend that this isn't going to be. Yes. They're already pretending like everything happens in the neighborhood of the Star System. Oh, I'm here now. And now I'm here. And now I'm here. But now it looks like we actually go into a different galaxy. Is that happening? Yeah, that feels new for Star Wars. Oh, the whales. Look, whales. Well, man, it seems like a hugely significant thing to go to a different galaxy. It's always been in this galaxy. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that you get from Dave Filoni. It's all the same shit, though, isn't it? Every time, all the stuff we've seen before, I don't give a shit. And it's all bad. It's all stupid. Oh, we've got a whole bunch of different points converging on the same thing. Whoa. Look, that's Dathomere, right? Bar behind, I wonder if. Is that what that name is? Man, I don't know. Oh, that's Dathomere. That's weird. Well, I'm literally just shot in the dark. I have no clue. I'd be really curious to see how long the episode actually would be if they would talk like normal people to each other. Yeah, we'd learn more in less time. So that would be cool. We achieve so little with the time that we have because these big pauses and like belly character. Yeah, you should be allowed to spend an hour like this. I was so low. Oh, god. The pauses, we're insane. You're going to watch two episodes of Gilligan's Island and enjoy it myself. But instead of here, I have to watch it in the Simpsons, you know, and get more for character and story. And it will make more sense. What do we like? I mean, I guess it looks pretty decent. It looks good. I like the droid. Yeah, I like the alien cat. I think it does look a little bit washed out at times. Yeah, as much as the rain. Yeah, I didn't really notice it. I was just begging for something to happen. I think now it's, yeah, I guess I. I'm not even sure what to make of it. It's just the same as always. Canada, you're to blame for this. You and your fucking tax credits. It's just no different. It's no different. It is the same thing I realize here. It is a different day. The implications are going to probably be a lot bigger than anything in Mando even. Yeah, I'm kind of horrified by the places they seem to want to go. Well, and remember, this this shit, this is like gets to do whatever the fuck he wants. We could see anyone turn up in this show. He's probably got access to anything that he could want from Star Wars. Again, this is this is going to be all on him. This one essentially. This is his show. This is his creation. And it calls back to a lot of stuff that he also made. And he wrote every episode. So this, I guess this is what? Like unbridled Dave Filoni. Yay. Yeah, it just sucks. And I don't have much to say about it, honestly. I think we'll have more to say as the episodes go on naturally, but this is a start is pretty terrible. That was, I guess I'm not surprised at all. We got the hallmarks of everything. Dumb characters making stupid decisions. People aren't talking like people, Wastes of time, terrible fights, stupid combat. Yeah, I should have said something earlier, but the thing that's like guaranteed now in Star Wars is just bad action scenes. Not counting Andor. All of this is of course not counting in. Andor gets to be in a special place. That's just exempt from all of our Star Wars discussion. It gets to be special. But most gets to the point where you don't even want to call Andor Star Wars. Yeah, kind of. When I, when people say Star Wars, I don't even think about Andor because it's just so high quality compared to everything else. It doesn't deserve Star Wars in a positive sense. Deserves to be brought down by that French. One shotgun. If you want to kill a Jedi, it takes one shotgun. What are you going to do? What are you going to do against like 11, 12 pellets? Dude, I'm looking at when she got stabbed, he tilts the lightsaber from up to down and then drags it out. Oh, your insides are still fucked up. Not what I do, dad. Oh, they're fucked. She should be fucked, but she's going to be fine. If I stabbed someone and I wanted to kill him with a lightsaber and that lightsaber is not coming out the way it went in. Move it left or right once it's in, okay? It's just crazy at this point to like Qui-Gon is the exception to the rule of dying when he gets knocked in the abdomen. Poor fucker. What a pussy. Because what it'll be right in episode two, they'll put her in a back to tank or whatever the fuck and then we're all going to be like, so why couldn't Qui-Gon get this? It won't be like she is now permanently less able-bodied. I assume she'll be full speed by the end of the fucking next episode. By the end, maybe even by the beginning, who knows. What a shame. What a consequentialist fucking sterile environment. The boring things happen. Ahsoka, everyone. Episode one. Thanks for coming. Thanks for watching. We'll see you for episode one, Joe. How exciting. All right. Bye-bye. Yeah, hey, whoa, yeah, bye. Thank you, Lord. But didn't I- What did you bring me?