 Nice Andrew Houston. Welcome to the show. Thanks Atlas. I'm glad to be here So pumped Non-dual devotion such an exciting topic Yeah, yeah It's beautiful Something that you get to talk about quite often. Yeah, so yep. Yeah, yep We both do Exactly. Yeah One could even go as far as to say that it's Sort of the last question that is asked, you know, what's the nature of reality? And then when you finally answer the question dissolves has that been your experience as well Yeah, yeah, it has I I didn't really come into this from a Spiritual seeking a conscious kind of spiritual seeking Path in the same in the same way as many do Definitely, you know an exit existential crisis sort of situation and the the sense of not really knowing who I was and what this world was and In an unconscious way attempting to Reconcile the discrepancies between what seemed to be my identity and and the the presentation of the world and here it was really an expression of Grace that allowed for a deep Surrender Into just the immediacy of Of this isness That was just given to whatever Whatever needed to unfold in order for there to be peace in order for there to be contentment and then the inquiry sort of came a little bit later surrounding the nature of identity, but it was always more In in in my case what seemed to be a relationship with God at first and in that relationship with God essentially just saying I belong to you and you live through me and You speak through me and this life isn't isn't mine anymore. It's yours And it was through that process that You know the sense of a limited individual as a substantial identity Was transcended and I Came to see myself as this infinity But that wasn't you know taken on as a as a methodology or or an attempt to move from one place to another it was it was really optionless in the context of the perspective here there was no other no other choice because Life as what seemed to be this this separate individual had become so unbearable So I could not continue in that condition Life became unbearable as a separate individual I could no longer continue in that Condition Yeah, and and when I say that condition it's it's more like the sense of being the one that is that's in control and making decisions You know for for a short while even after there was field recognition here There still is a sense of being Andrew, but Andrew wasn't Andrews anymore so it was like Andrew belonged to divinity and Andrew was a servant of divinity and Andrew was being Guided by divinity so it wasn't Andrews life anymore. So that was like the initial Step into a deeper recognition of reality Recognizing that it wasn't my life and I wasn't here from for me and as as what seemed to be Andrew and That I was here to To be given to this higher truth and to be led and guided and directed by by this truth in in the way that is Known to be fit in the immediacy of this of this isness quite interesting that it wasn't a Conscious spiritual seeking for you So there was an unbearableness of the individual condition and There was a There was a seeking of healing that unbearable this to Through this divinity through this grace through the surrender through this Re-cognizing of isness Yeah, it was you know just to give a kind of a brief recap in early childhood things were very very beautiful and very very connected and There was there wasn't a sense of being localized in the same way as there was In in the teenage years. So there was like a sense of expansive sort of diffuse Ness, but I didn't have any You know anything to compare it to so you don't really know that it's there until it seems to go away and if you don't even Understand what that is then there's no articulation for it and So around the like in between the the ages of seven and twelve years old An intense qualitative shift began to take place in my experience. So From that interconnected sort of diffuse kind of Not as localized state Where things were kind of just seen as a game and play in this world wasn't taken seriously and and things were just They were different There was a dropping into an intensely acute sense of separation and locality where the the sense of being inside of the body as like a sort of almost like a An unwanted uncomfortable Prison of sorts, of course, I'm speaking about it retrospectively Began to begin to become very very prominent and in in that condition There was a demand for attention in in a different way. So it couldn't be ignored The sense of being So separate and so limited and so bodily, you know, couldn't couldn't be ignored And so that's when seeking began to to To express itself, but it was seeking through Attempts to find, you know relief in in phenomena and Whether it was like watching tv or eating macaroni and cheese or Getting getting other Kids to laugh, you know at school or whatever the case may be there are there are lots of different ways in which this Sense of separation attempts to fill the the the void that seems to You know separate it from from what appears to be the objective world and that developed into Substance of use, you know In its own way and that became What it became that that became equated with with existence. Yeah, and So for about 10 years solid that was all that life was and Substance yeah, yeah substance for 10 years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Um wow Yeah, by the time I was 24 I'd been an inpatient detox 15 times seven to 21 days at a time five longer term treatment centers In and out of county jail uh It was just a shell of us kind of like a skeleton like, you know humanoid Walking about and in a in a condition of hopelessness and in a deep sense of Fragmentation from from life So in that sense, I wasn't you know consciously seeking Enlightenment or anything of that nature, uh I I had never heard of the word enlightenment until after I already had field recognition so Interesting and you've you've been using that word which we can circle back to maybe you can give us a brief sentence When you say field recognition, you mean is this you mean god's presence. You yes, I do. I mean the presence of uh Divinity yes as as uh conscious awareness particularly the feminine what I refer to as the feminine aspect of conscious awareness conscious presence and uh field recognition in the way that I'm using it here does not mean Field realization. It just means that There's a recognition that there's not empty space here that there's a field And uh at that point there still seemed to be Andrew that was aware of the field, right? So Uh, there was still a sense of a limited identity But there was the recognition of this field as the presence of god Yeah And so how many years uh for you? Um, was it after the 10 years of so that was 24 until like 34 or up until 24 was 10 Up until 24. Yeah, so it was like 14. Yeah 14 to 24 uh of you know just And and that's that's not the whole story. It's it's everything, you know from um just the really the uh Sort of the bottom of the human condition looking in relationships looking in substances looking Just looking out there Yeah for What can't be found out there? Yeah and uh perfect and and wandering blindly and and uh You know feeling like there was a sense of knowing what was going on but being completely asleep to to The truth. Yeah, because it was really based in a lie. So it was living a lie and At uh at the age of 24 I left a uh An eight week program And a week after leaving I blacked out behind the wheel of a car going 45 miles per hour and hit another car head on And all three of us ended up in the icu on life support And I came to in a hospital with two tubes coming out of my chest both lungs had collapsed and ruptured artery lacerated spleen liver shattered left tibia crushed right ankle Whoa Yeah, you're you're almost dead for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, they called my they called my grandparents and said We're gonna try to save him. But you know, so it was like a kind of a you know, uh It was a rag doll the body was really beaten up and uh And the other the other two had some serious injuries to their To their pulvices and legs and uh So after I was able to be taken to jail. I was taken to jail And I was in a medical isolation jail cell in the spartenberg county jail And it was in that jail cell that this grace Revealed itself. I was approached by a man who was in a 12-step program And uh, he basically came in and sat down beside me and said You know, andrew Your problem isn't alcohol. It's not drugs Your problem is that you're selfish and self-centered Oh interesting Yeah Whoa, and I had I you know, I had read that and and heard it because that's definitely, you know in any case of addiction the The root of the addiction is always going to be the sense of separation and the sense of separation is always Rooted in egocentricity. Yeah, perfect That's so you got a direct pointing at the root Yes, and it's interesting because there's so much of cultural Dynamics that are in the in the branches in a sense trying to find what What what is it about my addiction or what is it about my? Obsession with relationships or seeking to travel or whatever it is that people want to fill Um But it can't be found there because it's actually In the root and what's at the root is the sense of self lowercase s And it's focus on itself Um, yeah And that egocentricity like you said and you got pointed at it and and then like the shift is then the service to others shift And then that can be so Instrumental and awakening is redirecting attention in service yet outwardly to to other selves as perfect Yes Yeah, that's exactly it. So Although I had heard that before and you know intellectually understood it. It had never really penetrated the heart. So the conditions were appropriate for that to penetrate the heart and Uh, he left and as he was leaving I Sort of whimpered to him Because I had a neck brace on and was sort of, you know and kind of a pitiful You know feeling sorry Feeling sorry for for andrew And I was I was like come back And he was like I will so I don't remember exactly what happened after that but when whenever waking consciousness returned I recognized that there was um Like a clear translucent uh field presence in in the jail cell And everything was different. Uh the You know the the cell itself was like new in a certain way and not as Doom and gloom as it seemed to be before And I had this knowingness that came that everything was unfolding according to plan Yeah and some uh some specific teachings of jesus christ also came to me as well And then from that point, you know Truth became more important in life itself And it was that initial shift from You know thinking about andrew to thinking about how I can serve Others even when there still seemed to be the the sense of being andrew. Yeah, and really that was you know Service to god so service to god service to others same because there's only one. Yeah one self. Yeah and uh A little bit about the the mechanics of that Uh The the ego centricity Is actually a concede a concealed condition of infinite subjectivity. So We are actually the the the center of the universe. Yeah Um, but not as a limited individual entity. Yeah, we're the we're the the supreme self. Yeah Yeah, and so everything is self-referential everything is referential to the self totally everything is The self experiencing itself, but this self that we are is a field of conscious awareness. It's the light of Of divinity. Yeah, so it's not a it's not a body. It's not a Mind it is an infinite mind if you will But it's not a limited mind. It's not a separate individual so There's a concealment of this subjectivity this infinite subjectivity within itself And there appears to be a concealed presentation of a subject Which is referential to objects and what seems to be other subjects. Yeah So that ego centricity um Has within itself, you know, certain, uh limitations and An inability to discover uh an abiding peace and contentment because it's based in a In a concealment of peace and contentment Perpetual Perpetual lack and perpetual um a sleepless to the is this Yes. Yes a sleepless to the is this exactly so when There is a transition from that ego centricity into um the recognition of ourself as this As this silence as this Vibrant life. It's all around right here And what's taking place is that there's a revealment of subjectivity within itself So it's moving from what appears to be a concealed condition Into a revealed condition and an intermediate sort of phase in that Is where there's a transition from The concealed condition appearing to be Uh consumed with its concealed sense of identity Yet to beginning to look to how it can serve what appear to be the other subjects within its perception And that's actually the one subjectivity serving itself Although it might appear to be you know someone serving another and it will appear to be that way Initially, but what's revealed is that all service is self-service with a capital s Yeah, totally Whoa, I love you, bro I feel I feel so aligned together. This is great. This is so good. Wow. Yeah Yeah, I'm I'm really grateful that um I feel I think it was one of the People that views both of our content suggested this and I'm really grateful to them. Um, this was a really good one Yeah, I feel I and we're we're just you know, whatever 20 minutes in and I'm already In love with you. This is great Love you. Wow. Okay Wow, so What what else interests me about this is is not only like the As yung and so many others have said that you know, you go all the way down to these roots of hell in order for these flowers to blossom Um, especially the ones that reach all the way up as highest fucking mountains And that's what I'm feeling from you a lot is I mean you Did not have Like a classical Oh, um, I want to you know seek type Experience No, bro. You got hit by a train Like you got hit by a train like 10 years of addiction of substances the blackout behind the car with Two or three other three other people in the car were with you No, I was the only one in in in in my car and then there were two in the car that was hit another car Okay, geez. Yeah, so three of you total three total went into icu Um, your body's like a ragdoll. Um, you're blessed with this turn from The self-referentialness which this is This is my next um line of Um conversation with you, which is how did you find the um nomenclature the lexicon this vocabulary and this way to also talk about it because Um, you speak about it perfectly and it's really rarely when I've Encountered people that know how to speak about it so well. And so what did you do from 24, um until now? Are you 34 now? No, no, no, I'm uh Well, I was just joking yesterday about how I can't remember how old I am I think I'm 30 Yeah, maybe 31. I think I'm 30. Cool. So nice. Yeah, it's the that that facial hair adds a couple years You know that yeah, yeah, but I can see the youthfulness for sure underneath. Yeah Nice. So I'm I'm 28. So we're right around the same age. And so what happened those six seven years? Um, how you picked up The ability to speak about it Like what did you look at you mentioned christ? Um, we talked about before we went live That's alvalokiteshvara there. So you do seems to have some buddhist and hindu also Insight so yeah, so how did because you spoke about it so perfectly the turn from the self referential To then the service to others turn being what then enables one to recognize more and more of Themselves as the one as at all as the dance of of the ones light Yes, yes yeah, uh So before we get into that, I think I'd just like to say one more thing about the the what we talked about thus far and that's that A shift in identity is not brought about through suffering so sometimes if someone hears um, this the story of of andrew As uh as kind of a linear, you know A very small fraction of of of a linear, uh Expression of what seemed to happen There can be an interpretation that it was through great suffering That there was like a break in the in the psychological structure or something like that That's not what happened at all And there are many many many many many human beings who suffer very very very very intensely even more so Then what seemed to take place here and they do not have awakenings. They do not have shifts Right, so the a shift in identity is an expression of grace. It doesn't come about through suffering And what I've described is like I said just a sliver um It's only a speck in in the broader uh trajectory and non-linearity of of The truth of ourself as this field so Uh Cool and that kind of that kind of leads us into the the languaging piece which is that you know, there's no there's no accidents So, uh, I don't consider that car wreck an accident and uh, actually the the other two that were involved in it had also um been through the same treatment center that I had just uh, that I had just graduated from and um So there were also They had also went through addiction. They had also passed through that. Yeah, and interestingly enough, um, you know The way that it all unfolded I I recognized in the in the in the jail cell to be an expression of perfection And I know that that is hard to believe and it's really beyond belief. So I wouldn't expect anybody to believe it um But that uh, that is the case and Of course the the other two guys, uh Are really wonderful and we've all you know, uh Hugged and told each other. We love each other and I've spent time with both of them and and those kinds of things Um as a part of the immense process that I was involved in for for quite some time But when it comes to a languaging and these kinds of things what What really was expressing itself was an opportunity for a total replacement. Yeah, or a total transmutation or transformation So what I tend to emphasize is a transmutative path where essentially that which is commonly discarded Is used for fuel or is uh, recognized to be a precious valuable substance that's just waiting to be revealed. So It kind of goes to the Alchemical understanding of the the turning of base metal into gold. Yeah and the symbolic representation of that and in love that in the conscious experiencing That's so good. What is so basic like just oh this breath of air this moment of presence is actually fucking gold And yeah, yeah, that's great, bro. Yes. Yes Everything everything has the potential to be revealed as gold because that's the only reality The only reality is the golden light of the of the one brilliant dazzling son of our of our pure divinity so When I got exposed to the spiritual understanding it was like A fish that had been flopping on a shore for 10 years being put in the water and I Just took to it in And really an unexplainable way And when I say I took to it it was it took to itself. I mean I wasn't uh, you know I had no concern with being spiritual Um, and I still don't have any concern with being quote unquote spiritual being seen as spiritual Uh, wasn't I wasn't interested in realization any of that um, but just truth truth so Because truth uh was a necessity. It was a non optional Necessity for life. Yeah Yeah, it was like Yes, oxygen. Exactly. So I realized Uh through grace that I could not live without the truth. Yes and that initially really You know is referential to what seems to what seemed to have been The mess of of andrew's life. So the The initial years were really really focused on Going through the 12 step process in a very very rigorous way And that's a that's a very simple process, but a very profound spiritual pathway that is oftentimes solely associated with addictions But actually it's a it's an extremely powerful pathway for anyone, but most are not going to Really have the motivation to take the 12 steps because You know, it tends to be something that really brings up a lot of resistance from the ego structure So in going through that process, um You know, uh quite rigorously purely You know powered by by grace and and drawn by a deep devotion and love That was that was really the the most characteristic thing Is that I was completely and utterly in love with god and I I mean just so in love. I couldn't think of anything else and It was relational at first And it was, you know, very very um intimate and time consuming And I mean all time, you know, I don't uh didn't Everything else was accountable to that. So it wasn't something that was compartmentalized that fit into, you know, my day I didn't have a day anymore and I realized that I never had a day. It was always the day of this of this one Feel but I seem to to presume that these days were mine and that's why this life was mine and these kinds of things So it was really a transition into recognizing that This life isn't mine and these days are not mine and these these hours are not mine these minutes are not mine So called, you know, at least when there seemed to be time and duration You know, which there hasn't been a sense of that for some years now But the at that point that was the case and so it was about really the surrendering of time and the giving up of that and Yeah, it just became progressively more consuming. It was a consuming fire And still is to this day. Yeah, uh, even though there's nothing, you know, it just uh, it's it's it's referential to sort of a different scope or a different parameter Like capital s Referential that kind of yes. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. The existence becomes that. That's cool I like that the shift from lowercase s self-referential to capital s self-referential god Perpetual Yeah, that's so good Infinity referential all day. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, just the field of love dancing life dancing Yeah, it's so good That's so cool. Yeah Yeah, so I started to get into different traditions. I mean, I was raised in the south so I was raised around christianity and and so right here in the in the bible belt as they call it and I When I was first really exposed to the teachings of jesus I knew I knew that there was something there And there was a deep resonance with the message of love and Just the whole the whole way of being But at the time, you know, it was the ability to reflect that was very very limited because of the the concealed condition within conscious awareness So that was kind of the initial step In in this unfoldment was having that sort of Going back into into jesus's teaching and and having What could be seen as more of a christian kind of sense of Of a relational love in reference to The father and and those kinds of things and working with the holy spirit And then that began to transition because I you know very quickly with the recognition field recognition that was present You know pre even pre initial shift There was a an understanding that god, you know a lot of what was being presented in religion was so far off base and Began to explore different you know different philosophic backgrounds and and different spiritual expressions and So that all unfolded rather quickly, you know reading the doubt of qing and the Bhagavad Gita and those kinds of things And just getting into different Whatever kind of spiritual texts I could find And whenever I would read read them. It was always a confirmation Of what I was seeing and what I was knowing Rather than reading them to to get something out of them So it was it was almost like looking in a mirror when I when I was reading So these different texts cool, and That that unfolded, you know With this kind of continuous drivenness of devotion That was really into A lifestyle of inventory and introspection And of course that translated into identity, you know, like you were asking at the beginning. What is What is I and and what is all of this processing seem to be referential to this, you know notion of Andrew as separate from these kinds of things and And Yeah, that the the the field continued to appear to brighten and become More consistent more continuous Cool started to kind of see it Like a aura around plants and different pieces of furniture and those kinds of things More regularly and then that became kind of continuous so that the field and the At first it appeared that the the conscious presence was Here and then there were objects within it and then the objects started to be recognized as sort of permeated by it And that, you know, sort of all blended together and there was an intense kind of flow of love. Yeah and Sense of kind of communion with all of nature and everything and I was just sort of swept away in this kind of um ecstatic Yeah ecstatic and in rapture With just the love of the divinity of everything And that was not And that was uh And I you know, I'm describing this now in a in a Right, you know currently my i don't consider memory to be You know anything uh Yeah substantial, but uh, it's more from an like a knowing knowingness because even To reference that I don't really feel like I went through that, you know, um the 13th step No, that's not the 13th step But I like that they actually in in the program 13th step is when you try to get with uh when you when you when you uh When you look for a date in the in the program in the early years, which I actually did end up dating someone So I did I was guilty of the of the 13th step as well But we call the 13th step that it does lowercase s self never happened Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah beautiful exactly Mm-hmm Yeah, okay, so that's that this was all actually prior to that shift the initial shift actually where so there was still a sense of Andrew going through this with all the field recognition and sense of love and communion and everything so it was a very, um relational refined kind of devotional point Which it's always been very devotional but more on the feminine side. I would say in reference to the way that I sort of demarcate the the the qualitative aspects of infinity and Then at a certain point after that building building consistency getting into meditation and those kinds of things Continuousness there was sitting down on the bed one morning And the sense of a personal separate self disappearing So the sense of a me Disappeared and I saw that I was the field That I had been seeing that I was always just seeing myself Nice and That was the initial shift and then it was followed by um different contextual modalities as I refer to them uh that uh, you know unfolded over the next The the following years and of course continue to deepen To this day very cool Oh Love it So there's so many pieces there to pull on so One of them that I love was that You share that there's so many Other selves that are undergoing drastic suffering around the world But yet it is not always A drill sergeant for awakening it is It is in many ways a drill sergeant for awakening and it's yes, it's incredible But at the same time apparently it's it's not always it's not as well, which is very interesting like There can just be a sincere drive for understanding one's true nature and it just starts like philosophical like just the love of wisdom and There's something like that so Quite interesting and then another thread that you that we could pull on for a bit was that um And also just on that last bit it also plays into the refresh rate of the light as well so meaning that it's Andrew Houston a moment ago that was Drastically suffering or like you described a moment ago where yourself you had a quote localized lowercase s self referential And then all of a sudden the next moment there's the dropping away of that And recognizing that I have been this field this entire time and And so the refresh rate there was like boo boo And like where was the like where I can't find the old version um And so that so there's that also so who was suffering where was the suffering? all of Um play and then this other thread is great I'm imagining right now, but you know this living space right we have these pillows and um And similarly where you're sitting right now wherever you guys are are sitting um, you know take a or listening take a Take a gaze at your surroundings and when you do just see the radiance of it rather than What appears to be just something that's like static and not dynamic and not radiant But when you do begin seeing it that way There's another thing that sort of Clicks in for you, which is that it's all made of love and light and that it's here to serve in infinity expressing itself and exploring pure potential and That then it starts coming together More and more That was another great thread and then We mentioned this a little bit In the first thread that I was saying was that it was really cool that you had such a clear dropping away of the lowercase s self and to recognize yourself as as the one and For me, it's been very similar with processes that are both gradual and also sudden and And that There's nothing quite like the The sudden ones are You know, you can't really describe What it is But it's But it's so cool because you you know with a deep amount of conviction That this is the process that the one goes through that we as the one go through You know, you know it with insane conviction because you know that Like you are the dance and there's no cooler way to like dance with yourself Then to do this process of forgetting yourself and then remembering yourself Through a vales veil or a gateless gate. It's an unbelievable feature Of the reality design In exploring pure potential. Do you feel similarly? Yes. Yeah, I'm I'm glad you brought that up because I you know in telling the story quote unquote is is is always it's always something that there's A recognition of a need for or disclaimers surrounding And and this is great because it just brings us into the the mechanics of of awakening and those kinds of things and looking at shifts and identity so when I describe that that seeming point where there was a A falling away of the sense of there being an andrew that was experiencing this presence That in itself is like a flowering or a culmination But just like when a flower is blooming It's not that only when it opens and and reveals it's The color of its interior pedal pedals is that it's blooming the whole process is it's blooming So if we interpret the shift and identity as an event That's a very very very very limited way to look at it because it is not an event And of course we can say it's a non event or a not a non event or whatever I don't want to go into all that but it's you know, it The analogy to the flower is so good Yeah, I like the flower blooming and that that point is just you know, sort of a selection of perception and saying, okay Here's where there was a seem to be a definite recognition That the aforementioned process Wasn't happening for someone and was actually only apparent Yeah, yeah and But that's not even though I did say, you know the shift and identity I'm saying that in in reference to what seems to be the difference between field recognition while there's still a sense of Substantial individuality as an identity And you know, the this field of conscious awareness realizing itself and recognizing itself as itself. Yeah But I I'm not one to place a lot of emphasis on That taking place like hammering away at that It's really more as far as I'm concerned about the devotion and the commitment and the unfoldment and the flowering Because it's always going to be progressive Even when there appear to be these definite points You know of of distinct recognition that we can recall and speak about and You know, all of those wonderful things That's not really what it's about and as I said before it that wasn't being sought. It was more about the love The love and the willingness To give everything to just uh, yeah to be totally absorbed by The truth of divinity Devotion perfect Yeah the the blossoming is life long because over time It becomes more and more clear when one is coming from Holistically the one Whereas when they're coming from a last bit of some sort of separation conditioning Some sort of ego self-referential structure behavior pattern and so When you have this ongoing purification and ongoing polarization more and more towards devotion towards pure service to others It it makes it so that it's a continuous game. It's the continuous flower blossoming. Yeah It's nice. Yeah And and there's and there's actually multiple shifts in identity. So You know that that what I just described was just the beginning And we we could go into that process surrounding different aspects of infinity and qualitative presentations of infinity if you want to Um, one thing that's important to recognize just around as a kind of generality of the process Is that the residue of the illusion of separation doesn't just disappear Because you see through the substantiality of it. Yeah The the backlog of energetic condensation and is associated emotional reflections and psychological impressions and different thought patterns Is still there and it's still there because This was a concealed presentation of an intelligent infinity of subjectivity. So Whatever subjectivity which is the infinite field of conscious awareness takes itself to be Seems to take on a certain energetic validity And although it never actually was the case in the way that it seemed to be because it seemed to be to you Uh, then it seemed to take on this, um Quality of accumulating certain residue certain, uh, vibratory Uh, a certain vibratory backlog we might say so And this is true on a on a collective level and on what seems to be more of an Individuated level which those the lines between those of course become fainter and fainter in in in the unfoldment of our of our truth But essentially one of the major aspects of the process is going to be facing and resolving the unconscious energetic backlog. Yeah And that is through a process of what I call surfacing. So even in a very stable clear Certain shift in identity. There is still going to be surfacing of the residue of what appeared to be the previous self definition And there is going to be different contradictions that are present the ego structure doesn't disappear Just because you see that there is no one here um, that's the identification with the ego that is uh transcended and severed but not the actual ego structure which is present on a collective level and So this is the process then on a daily basis of the surfacing Of the of the backlog into the field of attention So that it can be uh faced and resolved And the the way in which we're able to do that most effectively and efficiently is to recognize That this is one field of subjectivity that is reflective in its nature So everything that appears to be unfolding has a reflective quality to it And we begin to step out of the realm of causality, you know presuming that there Is a a cause and an effect Either from here to what seems to be the world out there or from the world out there to hear And that takes us out of the realm of victimhood and blame Which are two of the the there's a primary ego positions And extreme self limitations Yeah And we step into this supreme responsibility of infinite subjectivity Yeah, so we're recognizing that Really our the responsibility is here. There's nothing that is coming from what seems to be the world outside That is bringing about what seems to be present here Yeah, and of course as we begin to see that What seemed to be the world outside is actually an appearance in Our own here-ness in our own field of infinite here-ness Then that translates into the to the ease of recognizing that but there are still the tendencies and the proclivities That are based in the survival oriented intelligence that we seem to be identified with or you know great expanses of what appeared to be linear time that Are our surfacing into the into the field of activity surfacing into the field of attention into the field of conscious experiencing So perfect Yeah There's a way that we can be more effectively and efficiently aligned with that process of Resolution which from my perspective is just a process of transmutation. So it's essentially seeing all of that backlog as fuel as a precious valuable substance that we have the opportunity to witness being converted into the fullness of bliss on a consistent and regular basis and I find that Apart from devotion, there's going to be a lot of difficulty around that So devotion is one of the primary ways that we're able to stay with a a steady direction That isn't getting lost in kind of like awakened Not awakened. Why is this coming up? I'm see this and you know those kinds of things which is You know to see those kinds of mechanics is also very valuable and very important too because there's different Tears to the ego structure the superstructure There's different limited reflections of kind of like awakened identity realized identity that can take place So these these are things that as a collective we're going to be exploring more and more as the As things continue to unfold Yep So cool. Yeah, love, uh, love this so if we if we look at it like um for those that are um born that um if there isn't uh taking in of said separation conditioning because for many people that are born um in um to more awakened parents or to potentially some indigenous tribes that are very interconnected with nature Um, there isn't even the self referential structures and conditionings and separations that even come on in the first place Okay, so let's say that it does come on full head on and you're like a hundred percent feeling separation Yeah, so the flower blossoming as we've been sharing can be something like seeing over time that yeah, you may have some gradual decreases In separation down to like 95 separation and then you may have a sudden shift to like 20 percent um lower to like 75 percent separation But then you may have some more gradual another shift and then some more gradual and then these last residues like you are saying these surfacing um energetic karmic unwindings Vasanas or samskaras as has also been said these grooves of conditioning their patterns that come up in our behavior That we have the opportunity like you said when you basically see all of creation in service to that process of going shifting from a sleeping and separation to unwinding and softening to no separation to being the field and That that's your honor. It's your honor. It's your duty. It's your joy to be A firework of infinity to be the one expressing itself through this dance and And I like how you use the word devotion as like be devoted to that entirety of process And know that that's what's unfolding here And that is just like no, it's just really resonant. It's really cool Yeah, beautiful Yeah, love love isn't concerned with how long How much how many times? Um, it is only concerned with itself and the giving of itself so Repetition is just a natural expression of devotion and commitment And our what we're recognizing is that our identity Isn't actually going through this because our identity is with divinity and of course there's different recognitions of um infinite identity But that this is a process going on within conscious awareness so it's a process going on within the experiencing of this field, which is our light and when we really begin to see that all of the material that was really being condemned and seen as unspiritual and pushed away and You know locked locked down in the dark dungeons of the of the unconscious Is is is a precious fuel and it has the potential to be converted into the light of The blissfulness of our self Then we begin to see it in reference to its potential to be converted rather than in reference to what seems to be Kind of a Clean-up job that has a beginning a middle and an end because what we're dealing with here in in our current Collective is a is a significant backlog of unresolved condensation associated emotional reflections and psychological impressions with correlating thought patterns and behavioral expressions, so collectively the transmutation um is not something that Is served by us getting to a point where we're done with our part and we're just like we're not transmuting now We're not there's nothing coming up now because that's kind of like a an old idea of awakening that comes out of a more concealed age Which we're trans we're transitioning out of a more concealed age so We're not coming from the extinguishment perspective in the same way Um necessarily anymore where you know Nirvana is kind of just getting to that point where nothing is coming up And that's what the goal is or that's what the arrival is and that's where we're being absurd That's where we're able to serve from we can actually transition our perspective to seeing that our service can be The uh the continuous Surfacing of the residue of the illusion of separation as it is referential to this collective In the direction of transmutation So the nervous system becomes more and more refined in its capacity to attentively allow the energetic backlog that has been stored and that of course is is um Profoundly important because you know the majority of the nervous systems on this planetary system Are not equipped to participate in that process. So It's really recognizing that service is non-linear and then it's not about what i'm doing in form like i'm going here To to you know, bring you a bag of beans or something like that. That's very beautiful And what really matters in that is like the intention and the and action and the and the fact that you're willing to show up for This other expression of yourself in that way and and you're tuning into love and discovering that and that's and that's a huge part Of of the unfoldment But what begins to take place as things continue to unfold as we recognize that what is being healed here is being healed everywhere So we can actually begin to recognize this body as being infinite And there's different You know different degrees of that as well And so what what begins to take place is that all this material that's surfacing Is recognized to be a deep opportunity for healing for the whole for the whole of humanity And we're just more and more in tuned with that process And that's not something that we're doing as a project like oh, hold on. I've got to heal humanity real quick or you know Whatever those kinds of things. No, it's a it's a natural expression of devotion and commitment Because like I said in the beginning this isn't my life, you know, it's not about my story or You know where I live or what I do or any of those kind of things. Yeah It's about what the power of god What the power of divinity is going to do through The appearance of this form how it's going to demonstrate itself so that It can see itself Yeah, so that andrew isn't seen and andrew isn't remembered and andrew isn't What it's about it's about what you see That appears to be expressing through andrew and that's the opportunity for all of us is to be Just swept into the flow of this grace to be transformed for the sake of the glory Of the reality of love so that love is glorified And anytime there appears to be human weakness All that is is just an opportunity for the divine strength and divine power to be revealed Every single seeming human weakness is just an opportunity for the power of the reality Of the pure divinity of I to reveal itself I loved how you called it precious fuel. It's such a good way to put it every single contraction Every single conditioning every little bit of separation every little bit of karma All of that is just precious fuel for the unwinding and the softening And the awakening it's it's precious fuel It can't be seen any other way when one clearly sees all as perfection It is precious fuel and seeing it that way is it Enhances and accelerates devotion as well when you see it as precious fuel Yeah, so good And it's not always easy to see it that way. I'm um It's you know, what what what's being described as simple but not necessarily easy the And it's not a matter of us being able to remember that or Say, okay, let me remind myself that this is what this is. It's really that we're receiving The grace that's leading and guiding and directing it's showing The the truth of ourself as this intelligent infinity is showing Showing us that it's precious fuel. It's showing itself That this can be seen in this way. It can be Held in this way it can be attentively allowed in this way. Yeah And it's We're showing ourself. What a what a beautiful gift that is like what a profound opportunity We're sharing in together To be joined in this common commitment in this common devotion In this willingness to give Yeah So good And that's why this school analogy is so strong also So everything everything can be seen as little Lessons yes and to be God the ultimate student the ultimate infinite student of From endless for endless lessons Capital s self-referential lessons Um What cooler Game could possibly exist. I mean this may be what we could play on a little bit But when you were talking about intelligent infinity in in terms of Expressing itself But perhaps beyond this dimension is that where you were suggesting we may chat about or what were you suggesting earlier Oh, no, I was just talking about different shifts in in identity here in in in in in this physiology In in a human physiology. So there's different Recognitions of infinity. There's different qualitative recognitions of infinity that I refer to as contextual modalities And essentially this has to do with predominance of aspect Um, at least yeah initially and uh So I could kind of go through that a little bit Basically, there's two primary aspects to this field of our self Which is the infinite Context for all of the seeming content and form That is appearing perceptually and These aspects can be held um From the perspective of seeing one of them as a masculine aspect and one of them as the feminine aspect Now when I use the terms masculine and feminine here It is not referential to the gender, of course There's some relationship and translation in terms of what we consider to be, you know, various qualities and those kinds of things Um, and also in reference to the way in which the physiology Uh appears but On the level of formless subjectivity Masculinity and femininity are not Referential to Male and female. They're not referential to gender. Yeah, they're The different Aspects of ourself different yet non-different they're Distinct yet inseparable So They're not too yet. There is a definite recognition of the distinction initially and The simplest way to move into this is recognizing that there is an underlying silent still changeless pure awareness pure perceiving a simple silent seeing And then there is a vibrant conscious aliveness a full presence Of infinite knowing So we have the aspect of silent changeless pure awareness The simple seamless still seeing And we have the full vibrant conscious aliveness the presence of Pure hearness Existence itself. Yeah These aspects are are not to their non-dual Yet they appear distinct and initially the distinction is prominent Hmm And there can be a play in reference to the modality as to whether one appears to be more or less substantial So generally speaking the feminine aspect conscious presence tends to appear negated in its Substantiality in certain modalities like pure awareness dominance or source awareness and Source awareness is a condition where There's a recognition of our Identity as the source of These two aspects that I just described so initially in source recognition the source is a quality less no thinness an infinite thatness That the thisness of conscious awareness appears to be shining from And pure awareness is like the line less line In between the quality less no thinness And the full vibrant conscious presence. Yeah, nice So that's the condition of source awareness And that's where there appears to be a triple layering basically so source awareness most often source awareness has a triple distinction sort of prominence to it and then uh There's a condition that I refer to uh as dynamic subjectivity Dynamic subjectivity is where The distinction between pure awareness and conscious presence collapses And There's a revelation of conscious awareness as an infinite flowing fullness of subjectivity And this is where subjectivity recognizes its own primary vibration and pulsation As the self experiencing that's appearing as all of the different formations. So You experience yourself as a mass of vibrating conscious awareness This is not an experience in space or time and It's a continuoseness that the days appear to unfold within so it's not something that changes And and in dynamic subjectivity There tends to be more of a refined recognition of the mechanics of the way in which the self experiencing flow of conscious awareness is appearing as form and appearing as like time appearing as space appearing as All of these different things. So there tends to be more of a recognition of the intelligence of the of the light In the way that it sort of reflects and projects within itself and dynamic subjectivity here was post-source awareness um And then there is a condition that I refer to as the void or supreme nothingness and that's where The Field of conscious awareness seems to be rendered insubstantial. It seems to fall away entirely So even from a perspective of source awareness, that would mean that the triple layering appears to fall away entirely and awareness and conscious presence Seem to disappear or are rendered as insubstantial apparitional non light so it moves from like a light value to a non light value And light here Would you say that this is what would be said in as nirvana? Uh, it depends. I mean, I've seen initial shift just like no self Referred to as nirvana. I've seen nirvana used in many modalities like different modalities. So There's there's a there's a great over generalization on on earth surrounding Uh, you know conditions of infinity and and those kinds of things um, that just is Characteristic of a more concealed age, which we're right now sort of in in the midst of moving out of a concealed age So the way that awakening and shifts are held Historically as far as we're concerned because we only have like a small sliver of history, you know Where these things are spoken about is is referential more to to a concealed understanding of the process that has kind of um You know various connotations surrounding um liberation kind of escape, you know those kinds of things and and Different, you know, that's a whole huge subject Okay, so another way to maybe mention what you were just mentioning would be cessation Cessation. Yes. Yes. So the any kind of negation term is is appropriate In in that context, but it could also be used in reference to the recognition of there not being like Um a conceptual world so oftentimes in the initial shift what takes place is There's an emptying out phase where basically everything that was deemed to be like an independent object with an associated label and and the sense of it being that is kind of Rendered Uh Void of meaning value and significance, but that's different from the void that I'm talking about That I just mentioned because that's referential to actual Full light value realization and there not being any objectivity But the actual disappearance of subjectivity seeming disappearance, of course subjectivity can't really disappear But it seems to in supreme nothingness so In initial shift there is a very distinct phase that Many are going through currently That is characterized by negation of the sense of Things being their mental definition So it's like you used to think this was a tv used to think this was a chair used to think that was a door Those kinds of things and it was like that's what that was and then as you become more and more naked in in the immediacy of of What's here those labels and things are kind of like revealed to be just words They don't act. That's not what it is So this is where you may hear a lot of like just this kind of like only this this, you know It's not the it's not the word. It's not the label. It's not the concept. So Yeah, the immediate ism. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, so it's kind of like a I consider it an initial kind of stage That of course is bit most prominent, you know on our on our planet right now But just to briefly recap just so that I feel like we're all following along We're talking about like a palette of different flavors of infinity recognition. You could say or Nature recognition Yes, you could say that. Yes. Um, it's it I mean, I would say maybe that the palette um analogy is going to be more Referential to like traditional flavor of the way in which each modality is held now Each modality there there are certain traditions that tend to emphasize certain modalities. So Classically or typically one moment. Andrew, could you also then um clarify what? What colors on the palette or what flavors that you've covered so far for us as well Okay, so well, I kind of did a brief overview, but I'll just go back and kind of restart so the Um, just the main ones again because you've mentioned there was one that had um, it was like source recognition, which is Source awareness. It was like a three. There was like a three layered That's a triple layer recognition of infinity with The prominence of identity leaning towards the source. So it's it's a basically a progressive recognition of one's identity as being the the most fundamental recognition of infinity And of course the light is infinite, but then you see that you're the you're the source of the light and those kinds of things So we're perfect. Okay. So there's one that's one that's source awareness But before that in the initial shift it's referential to light value realization So that's either going to be in the aspect of pure awareness or conscious presence as a predominance Now very often there's a recognition of both aspects But one of them seems to be a predominant sense of identity or self. I agree with that. I've seen that before quite a bit Okay, so interesting. This is fascinating. So these are like higher level distinctions of um different flavors or characteristics of awakening, which is really interesting so I've seen that split actually quite a bit between pure awareness and conscious presence I've seen that quite a bit and then that's where identity gets like intertwined in that style of awakening or flavor of awakening And then so then there's that color Conscious presence pure awareness. You could say are either one color or two separate colors can be Viewed that way and then there's this you said it's a source awareness is a source awareness the triple layering Yeah, triple layering. So what are and then where where were you? Dynamic subjectivity is what I was describing as an infinite flowing field of subjectivity where the self-experiencing of conscious awareness within itself Reveals the different mechanics and dynamics of the nature of creation. So you experience yourself as Flowing creation yourself is flowing as creation And everything and there's different characteristics, which I have a modalities course on on the website where I go at two hours on each modality Pretty intricately it's it's older. So there's a lot more I would add to it now And I'm not saying that it's complete, but it continues to be filled in Um links in the bio below for those that are interested on the non dual hyphen devotion.com website Thank you. So so that was that was um dynamic dynamic subjectivity. Yes dynamic subjectivity That was for supreme nothingness. Yeah or the void. Um, so And is this the end or is there more? No, there's more. Yes, then there's pure divinity Uh and pure divinity is That's the last one. Okay. It's actually the first one. Um, but it's also the last so pure divinity is the is the fundamental truth of I right and, um Pure divinity is infinite love infinite glory infinite sacredness Infinite uh exquisiteness Infinite, uh, these are descriptive, you know expressions. They're not Uh in opposition to there's no opposite. There's no position Yeah, um Just in the realm of language. So yeah, and that's prior to to nothingness or no thingness. Yeah and that is uh Characteristically different from supreme nothingness Supreme nothing. This is like is is is flatter. It's infinite peace. Yeah But the presence of an exquisite love that's completely non-linear and totally Um, interesting melting of any kind of vibratory distinctions. Yeah, he's not there So but of course love is being revealed all the way through But pure divinity Is almost like if we were going to look at it descriptively in terms of color, which can be helpful sometimes visually All right source awareness, which is a triple layering is where like infinite black kind of Infinite tv screen, you know Um is begins to shine forth and and then the sort of glass on the screen is like the Conscious presence pure awareness sort of light. We might say yeah And pure divinity is where you realize your reality as almost the the golden source of even what appeared to be the infinite black Totality, yeah Interesting. So you have um this the sixth one is called divinity or pure divinity pure divinity. Yeah Okay, so then you um in the source awareness example, which I think is also very common. Um, as a Yeah, um, so you say pure divinity is a golden source that then Is is is the um substratum of all of those palettes? Correct. Yes. Yeah dope, bro But each each one is going to feel complete and it's going to feel like that's the substratum So in source awareness You're quite sure that the quality less no-thingness is this is the substratum is the source And if someone were to hear me from source awareness and they were kind of Closed and not open then they might say You know, no, he's talking about what happened before this is the reality, but that's a confusion of levels Uh of modalities. That's not each one feels subjectively like it's it Because it's subjectivity, right? And it's also infinity. So you say how could there be more infinity than infinity? But uh, that's what you said before when it was just a light value and then you recognize the source It's not a matter of more or less you see what i'm saying because it's kind of like a limited interpretation They're distinctions. Um that I feel like are um For advanced adepts, um, I feel like they're really relevant. Um for advanced adepts for those that are sort of um Already quite field realized and have also already tasted multiple palettes. Um colors on the palette This can be helpful like it's quite helpful right now for me and I love your golden source example I actually really feel that um as something that um, it's almost like the It's like the snitch in harry potter Uh in a sense Yeah, a little ball. Yeah, and then this and the seeker um fly. Yeah flies find that um because it It kind of reminds me of that Golden source, which also is the sun in many ways. Um, yes All of the suns. Um, yes endless suns forever and ever and ever with endless Sentience. Um, yes on these rocks And that that that um literally Golden sourceness of pure divinity is it like that's it. Um, which is yeah great Yeah, it's interesting. Um, because in source awareness It appears as if the light is coming out of no light non-light So there's a paradox there that actually is a doorway into a a deeper recognition of reality because it feels like It seems like the the conscious presence pure awareness the the radiance of subjectivity is coming out of a quality less infinity of no-thingness. That's an infinite totality of thatness That's prior prior to this and That's what it seems like All right, and in that condition it is like that. I'm not saying that it isn't in that condition, but What you can also realize is that actually There's a source to that quality less no-thingness And that that's what I actually refer to as the primary appearance Or the primary absence or the capital a So I have different presentations on youtube where I go through the the way in which divinity appears as uh creation and then also that You know translates into the its return seeming return movement Which is really just a shedding of the the different self definitions of itself so It is only inherent to subjectivity to seek to identify itself And so it identifies itself as itself as for at first as conscious awareness And I identify as itself as the source of conscious awareness and a quality less no-thingness status Then conscious awareness itself seems to disappear You know and there's variations in the way that this unfolds potentially and it's not going to unfold for everyone And it doesn't it's not important to because it's not what i'm describing is not a Better or worse or a more or less it doesn't have anything to do with that and of course Any interpretation of it like that is going to prove to be you know to show up as some difficulty Um in the experiencing because it's interpreting it from a very limited perspective There's We're all here for the same glory. Okay the same glory And the same love It's not about these you know, I have a certain responsibility. I feel to share these things, but it's not about that, you know It's about the devotion Yeah It's not about the modalities Yeah um, but then again, we also have You know certain cases that are very interested in these kinds of things. Yeah, we're drawn to it and uh, and it becomes increasingly relevant In a planetary system where? Initial shifts are becoming more and more common. Yeah and And even in and beyond initial shifts are becoming more and more common. Yeah So, you know contextualization is just it's just a means of support uh But it has it's it's definitely open for misinterpretation and and uh Can be taken on in a way that's not not as helpful so That's why I always emphasize devotion first love first because I wasn't uh Interested in any modalities or anything, you know, like that that wasn't the whole that wasn't the point of it. Of course I did Begin to be drawn to different um higher descriptions of infinity and those things but not Not on the basis of attainment. Yeah It's out of a love for truth A love for truth Yep Yeah It's probably one of the most important things to share, which is that they're Everything that we just mentioned that is on the palette is both um important to Create distinctions or as has been talked about like levels of consciousness or levels of perception Levels of awakening or levels of awareness densities of love light That those are really important because in a sense they help share with you Oh, I'm feeling ego. I'm feeling self-referential. I'm feeling separation Well now to shift more into conscious presence or pure awareness and then to be in service to others and to be Vigilant of the conditioning surfacing and this type of stuff. These are very very important Yeah, um, but at the same time everything that we mentioned about these levels and about these colors on the palette All this type of stuff simultaneously is also just us using vibrations in language um in symbol exchange to create some sort of Distinctions so so to to to be able to hold that simultaneously is going to be You know, one of the highest realizations one of the highest integrations, so I always highly encourage and suggest that Contemplative um aspect to it. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's not uh, of course We don't get very far by attempting to figure anything out and it's really more about showing up and being shown so it's like When our heart is is committed to truth and we're aligned with love and we and we really just want to be wherever it is that we're Going to be of the highest service and We want to be wherever this infinity wants us to be then we're not easily going to be lost in you know, trying to categorize categorize distinctions and and Figure things out and all of those different Mental mental gyrations, you know, it's it's it's not about that. It's really about god. It's really about love it's really about Truth for the sake of god. Love and truth and which are synonymous in the way that I'm using them here um And we can really feel that we can really know that beyond a shadow of a doubt and we're here to support each other to lift each other up and to um You know sort of bring contrast to one another within the realm of Actualizing our highest potential, which is always the same We always had the same highest potential. Yeah nice yep Yeah, and tuning into that on a Really simple level like we were saying is seeing everything like a school. I'm showing up to that with a loving Open-hearted mindset is so good um, and then and then also just you know out of You know pure potentiality is is the actualization of said infinite potential and we are the actualization of said infinite potential and um When you look around you and you see um Like what why does this, you know, collective feel like it has So many ways that it's also like a sleep to its nature and how to You know actualize that latent potential it's sleeping lions no sheep just sleeping lions And so how do you activate that stylus? That each individuation is a painter in the painting I is the painter and that how to activate the fullest potential of the painter in the painting process and that has a lot to do with Meeting basic needs on a planetary level having decentralization on the planetary banking monetary infrastructure as well as on the planetary energy Infrastructure so having abundance for all um, and full creative Will and choice and actualization. It's just It just feels so like this is what's happening like 2020s 2030s Um, and like to polarize towards that intentionality is is it? Yes Beautiful beautiful Yeah, wow Holy shit, what a profound round one together so cool Do you feel complete? Yeah, that's another thing that's important to recognize is that What we're really talking about is is is realizing that we're complete yet in process in process yet complete So what seems to be contradictory is actually complementary and and inseparable So there appears to be this play of process And more and more the process Includes the recognition of what is complete and not in process yet appears to be in process It is forever already whole and So it goes like that, you know and uh When it's not my process or your process, it's our process and it's this process Then we're diving into the to the seamlessness of Of seeing that we we are each other. I am you You are me and This is what uh, this is what it's all about. Yeah Yeah, I love I loved using a perfection perfecting Also, yes Yeah So nice. Yeah, even intelligent infinity is on a journey to actualize its infinite potentiality. It's so good Beautiful. Yeah, so good so good Andrew. Wow So cool round one complete. You feel good about intention complete. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, everything feels great. Yeah, me too. Wow Yeah, I'm really like rocked By this it feels really strong It's really exciting. It feels like our our higher selves our energies are are clicking for also for For more exploration, which I'm really excited about Yeah I feel the same way. I'm really grateful that You uh, you have me on today. Thank you so much. Yeah, and what a cool um What a cool expression you are non dual devotion. So beautiful. I love it So Yeah, real hell. Yeah Check out everyone. Check out this. Um Link in the bio. So this is um Andrew's website, it's non dual hyphen devotion.com And then you can find um, Andrew mentioned that his courses are available here Um, so you can find those um You can find much more of his content Here highly recommend checking it out and then Also, this is his youtube channel. The link is also in the bio below um And so you can find a lot more of Andrew's content here as well and Would also encourage you if you did find this Conversation to be Insightful valuable We would love for you to like the video to help the algorithm Also subscribe to the chill yet if you haven't And leave a comment below with your thoughts with your resonance on the conversation on the episode We would love to hear from you and Again, um head over there to Andrew's channel subscribe there check out some of this content share it if it resonates Also share this video with other people if it resonates as well um And we'll collectively ignite this awakening baby That is all Yeah All glory to pure divinity All all glory to pure divinity brother. Yes all glory All glory All right, let's let's end the stream. Um, but you and I will stay in the studio. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Bye everyone. We love you Thank you