 section 24 of Tom Jones this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Sarah Jennings Tom Jones by Henry Fielding book 7 chapter 4 a picture of a country gentlewoman taken from the life Mr. Western having finished his hello and taken a little breath began to lament in very pathetic terms the unfortunate condition of men who are says he always whipped in the humors of some damn bitch or other I think I was hard-run enough by your mother for one man but after giving her a dodge here's another bitch follows me upon the foil but curse my jacket if I'll be run down in this man or by any of them Sophia never had a single dispute with her father till this unlucky affair of Blyphyl on any account except in defense of her mother whom she had loved most tenderly though she had lost her in the 11th year of her age the squire to whom that poor woman had been a faithful upper servant all the time of their marriage had returned that behavior by making what the world calls a good husband he very seldom swore at her perhaps not above once a week and never beat her she had not the least occasion for jealousy and was perfect mistress of her time for she was never interrupted by her husband who was engaged all the morning in his field exercises and all the evening with his bottle companions she scarce indeed ever saw him but at meals where she had the pleasure of carving those dishes which she had before attended at the dressing from these meals she retired about five minutes after the other servants having only stayed to drink the king over the water such where it seems Mr. Western's orders for it was a maxim with him that women should come in with the first dish and go out after the first glass obedience to these orders was perhaps no difficult task for the conversation if it may be called so was seldom such as could entertain a lady it consisted chiefly of hallowing singing relations of sporting adventures and abuse of women and of the government these however were the only seasons when Mr. Western saw his wife for when he repaired to her bed he was generally so drunk that he could not see and in the sporting season he always rose from her before it was late thus was she perfect mistress of her time and had besides a coach and four usually at her command the one happily indeed the badness of the neighborhood and of the roads made this of little use for men who had set much value on their necks would have passed through the one or who had said any value on their hours would have visited the other now to deal honestly with the reader she did not make all the return expected to so much indulgence for she had been married against her will by a fond father the match having been rather advantageous on her side for the squires estate was upwards of three thousand pounds a year and her fortune no more than a bear eight thousand pounds hence perhaps she had contracted a little gloominess of temper for she was rather a good servant than a good wife nor had she always the gratitude to return the extraordinary degree of roaring mirth with which the squire received her even with a good humored smile she would moreover sometimes interfere with matters which did not concern her as the violent drinking of her husband which in the gentlest terms she would take some of the few opportunities he gave her over monstering against and once in her life she very earnestly and treated him to carry her for two months to London which he preemptorily denied nay was angry with his wife for the request ever after being well assured that all the husbands in London are cuckolds for this last and for many other good reasons Western at length hardly hated his wife and as he never concealed this hatred before her death so he never forgot it afterwards but when anything in the least soured him such as a bad sending day or a distemper among his hounds or any other such misfortune he constantly vented his spleen by invectives against the deceased saying if my wife was alive now she would be glad of this these invectives he was especially desires of throwing forth before Sophia for as he loved her more than he did any other so he was really jealous that she had loved her mother better than him and this jealousy Sophia seldom failed of heightening on these occasions for he was not contented with violating her ears with the abuse of her mother but endeavored to force an explicit approbation of all this abuse with which desire he could never prevail upon her by any promise or threats to comply hence some of my readers will perhaps wonder that the squire had not hated Sophia as much as he had hated her mother but I must inform them that hatred is not the effect of love even through the medium of jealousy it is indeed very possible for jealous persons to kill the objects of their jealousy but not to hate them which sentiment being a pretty hard morsel and bearing something of the air of a paradox we shall leave the reader to chew the cut upon it until the end of the chapter chapter five the generous behavior of Sophia towards her aunt Sophia kept silence during the foregoing speech of her father nor did she once answer otherwise than with a sigh but as he understood none of the language or as he called it lingo of the eyes so he was not satisfied without some further approbation of his sentiments which he now demanded of his daughter telling her in the usual way he expected she was ready to take the part of everybody against him as she had always done that of the bitch her mother Sophia remaining still silent he cried out what are dumb why does son speak was not thy mother a damned bitch to me answer me that what I suppose you despise your father to and don't think him good enough to speak to for heaven's sake sir answered Sophia do not give so cruel a turn to my silence I'm sure I would sooner die than be guilty of any disrespect towards you but how can I venture to speak when every word must either offend my dear papa or convict me of the blackest ingratitude as well as impiety to the memory of the best of mothers for such I am certain my mama always was to me and your aunt I suppose is the best of sisters too replied the squire will you be so kind as to allow that she is a bitch I may fairly insist upon that I think indeed sir says Sophia I have great obligations to my aunt she has been a second mother to me and a second wife to me too returned Western and so you will take her part too you won't confess that she has acted the part of the vilest sister in the world upon my word sir cry Sophia I must belie my heart wickedly if I did I know my aunt and you differ very much in your ways of thinking but I have heard her a thousand times expressed the greatest affection for you and I am convinced so far from her being the very worst sister in the world there are very few who love a brother better the English of all which is answered the squire then I am in the wrong I certainly I to be sure the woman is in the right and the man in the wrong always pardon me sir cry Sophia I do not say so what don't you say answered the father you have the impudence to say she's in the right does it not follow then of course that I am in the wrong and perhaps I am in the wrong to suffer such a Presbyterian Hanoverian bitch to come into my house she may dyke me have a plot for anything I know and give my estate to the government so far sir from injuring you or your estate says Sophia if my aunt had died yesterday I am convinced she would have left you her whole fortune whether Sophia intended it or no I shall not presume to assert but certain it is that these last words penetrated very deep into the ears of her father and produced a much more sensible effect than all she had said before he received the sound with much the same action as a man received a bullet in his head he started staggered and turned pale after which he remained silent above a minute and then began in the following hesitating manner yesterday she would have left me her estate yesterday would she why yesterday of all the days in the year I suppose if she dies tomorrow she will leave it to somebody else and perhaps out of the family my aunt sir christ Sophia have very violent passions and I can't answer what she may do under their influence you can't return the father and pray who have been the occasion of putting her into those violent passions may who have actually put her into them was not you and she hard at it before I came into the room besides was not all our quarrel about you I have not quarreled with sister this many years but upon your account and now you would throw the whole blame upon me as though I should be the occasion of her leaving the estate out of family I could have expected no better indeed this is like the return you make to all the rest of my fondness I beseech you then christ Sophia upon my knees I beseech you if I have been the unhappy occasion of this difference that you will endeavor to make it up with my aunt and not suffer her to leave your house in this violent rage of anger she is a very good natured woman and a few civil words will satisfy her let me treat you sir so I must go and ask pardon for your fault must I answered western you have lost the hair and I must draw every way to find her again indeed if I was certain here he stopped and Sophia throwing in more entreaties at length prevailed upon him so that after venting two or three bitter sarcastical expressions against his daughter he departed as fast as he could to recover his sister before her equippage could be gotten ready Sophia then returned to her chamber of mourning where she indulged herself if the phrase may be allowed me in all the luxury of tender grief she read over more than once the letter which she had received from jones her muff too was used on this occasion and she bathed both these as well as herself with her tears in this situation the friendly mrs. honor exerted her utmost abilities to comfort her afflicted mistress she ran over the names of many young gentlemen and having greatly commended their parts and persons assured Sophia that she might take her choice of any these methods must have certainly been used with some success in disorders of the like kind or so skillful a practitioner as mrs. honor would never have ventured to apply them nay I have heard that the college of chambermaids hold them to be as sovereign remedies in any of the female dispensary but whether it was that Sophia's disease differed inwardly from those cases with which it agreed in external symptoms I will not assert but in fact the good waiting woman did more harm than good and at last so incensed her mistress which was no easy matter that with an angry voice she dismissed her from her presence chapter six containing great variety of matter the squire overtook his sister just as she was stepping into the coach and partly by force and partly by solicitations prevailed upon her to order her horses back into their quarters he succeeded in this attempt without much difficulty for the lady was as we have already hinted of a most placable disposition and greatly loved her brother though she despised his parts or rather his little knowledge of the world poor Sophia who had first set on foot this reconciliation was now made the sacrifice to it they both concurred in their centers on her conduct jointly declared war against her and directly proceeded to counsel how to carry it on in the most vigorous manner for this purpose mrs. western proposed not only an immediate conclusion of the treaty with all worthy but as immediately to carry it into execution saying that there was no other way to succeed with her niece but by violent methods which she was convinced Sophia had not sufficient resolution to resist by violent says she I mean rather hasty measures for us to confinement or absolute force no such things must or can be attempted our plan must be concerted for a surprise and not for a storm these matters were resolved on when mr. Blythyl came to pay a visit to his mistress the squire no sooner heard of his arrival than he stepped aside by his sister's advice to give his daughter orders for the proper reception of her lover which he did with the most bitter execrations and denunciations of judgment on her refusal the impetuosity of this choir bore down all before him and Sophia as her aunt very wisely foresaw was not able to resist him she agreed therefore to see Blythyl though she had scarce spirits or strength sufficient to utter her assent indeed to give a preemptory denial to a father whom she so tenderly loved was no easy task had this circumstance been out of the case much less resolution than what she was really mistress of would perhaps have served her but it is no unusual thing to ascribe those actions entirely to fear which aren't a great measure produced by love in pursuance therefore of her father's preemptory command Sophia now admitted mr. Blythyl's visit scenes like this when painted at large afford as we have observed very little entertainment to the reader here therefore we shall strictly adhere to a rule of horus by which writers are directed to pass over all those matters which they despair of placing in a shining light a rule we conceive of excellent use as well to the historian as to the poet and which if followed must at least have this good effect that many a great evil for so all great books are called would thus be reduced to a small one it is possible the great art used by Blythyl at this interview would have prevailed on Sophia to have made another man in his circumstances her confidant and to have revealed the whole secret of her heart to him but she had contracted so ill an opinion of this young gentleman that she was resolved to place no confidence in him for simplicity when set on its guard is often a match for cunning her behavior to him therefore was entirely forced and indeed such as is generally prescribed to virgins upon the second formal visit from one who is appointed for their husband but though Blythyl declared himself to the squire perfectly satisfied with his reception yet that gentleman who in company with his sister had overheard all was not so well pleased he resolved in pursuance of the advice of the sage lady to push matters as forward as possible and addressing himself to his intended son-in-law in the hunting phrase he cried after a loud hello follow her boy follow her run in run in that's it honey's dead dead dead never be bashful nor stand shall I shall I all worthy and I can finish all matters between us this afternoon and let us have the wedding tomorrow Blythyl having conveyed the utmost satisfaction into his countenance answered as there is nothing sir in this world which I so eagerly desire as an alliance with your family except my union with the most amiable and deserving Sophia you may easily imagine how impatient I must be to see myself in possession of my two highest wishes if I have not therefore impotuned you on this head you will impute it only to my fear of offending the lady by endeavoring to hurry on so blessed an event faster than a strict compliance with all the rules of decency and decorum will permit but if by your interest sir she might be induced to dispense with any formalities formalities with a pox answered the squire poo all stuff and nonsense I tell thee she shall have thee tomorrow you will know the world better hereafter when you come to my age women never give their consent man if they can help it tis not the fashion if I had stayed for her mother's consent I might have been a bachelor to this day to her to her co-tour that's it you jelly dog I tell thee shall have her tomorrow morning Blythyl suffered himself to be overpowered by the forcible rhetoric of the squire and it being agreed that western should close with all worthy that very afternoon the lover departed home having first earnestly begged that no violence might be offered to the lady by this haste in the same manner as the popish inquisitor begs the lay power to do no violence to the heretic delivered over to it and against whom the church has passed sentence and to say the truth Blythyl had passed sentence against Sophia for however pleased he had declared himself to western with his reception he was by no means satisfied unless it was that he was convinced of the hatred and scorn of his mistress and this had produced no less reciprocal hatred and scorn in him it may perhaps be asked why then did he not put an immediate end to the further courtship I answer for that very reason as well as several others equally good which we shall now proceed to open to the reader though Mr. Blythyl was not of the complexion of Jones nor ready to eat every woman he saw yet he was far from being destitute of that appetite which is said to be the common property of all animals with this he had likewise that distinguishing taste which serves to direct men in their choice of the object or food of their several appetites and this taught him to consider Sophia as a most delicious morsel indeed to regard her with the same desires which an Ortolean inspires into the soul of an epicure now the agonies which affected the mind of Sophia rather augmented than impaired her beauty for her tears added brightness to her eyes and her breasts rose higher with her size indeed no one has seen beauty in its highest luster who has never seen it in distress Blythyl therefore looked on this human Ortolean with greater desire than when he viewed her last nor was his desire at all lessened by the aversion which he discovered in her to himself on the contrary this served rather to heighten the pleasure he proposed in rifling her charms as it added triumph to lust nay he had some further views from obtaining the absolute possession of her person which we detest too much even to mention and revenge itself was not without its share in the gratifications which he promised himself the rivaling poor Jones and supplanting him in her affections added another spur to his pursuit and promised another additional rapture to his enjoyment besides all these views which to some scrupulous persons may seem to savor too much malevolence he had one prospect which few readers will regard with any great abhorrence and this was the estate of Mr. Western which was all to be settled on his daughter in her issue for so extravagant was the affection of that fond parent that provided his child would but consent to be miserable with the husband he chose he cared not at what price he purchased him for these reasons Mr. Blythyl was so desirous of the match that he intended to deceive Sophia by pretending to love her and to deceive her father and his own uncle by pretending he was beloved by her and doing this he availed himself of the piety of Thwakum who held that if the end proposed was religious as surely matrimony is it mattered not how wicked were the means as to other occasions he used to apply the philosophy of square which taught that the end was immaterial so that the means were fair and consistent with moral rectitude to say truth there were few occurrences in life on which he could not draw advantage from the precepts of one or other of those great masters little deceit was indeed necessary to be practiced on Mr. Western who thought the inclinations of his daughter of as little consequence as Blythyl himself conceived them to be but as the sentiments of Mr. Allworthy were of a very different kind so it was absolutely necessary to impose on him in this however Blythyl was so well assisted by Western that he succeeded without difficulty for as Mr. Allworthy had been assured by her father that Sophia had a proper affection for Blythyl and that all which he had suspected concerning Jones was entirely false Blythyl had nothing more to do than to confirm these assertions which he did with such equivocations that he preserved a salvo for his conscience and had the satisfaction of conveying a lie to his uncle without the guilt of telling one when he was examined touching the inclinations of Sophia by Allworthy who said he would on no account be accessory to forcing a young lady into marriage contrary to her own will he answered that the real sentiments of young ladies were very difficult to be understood that her behavior to him was full as forward as he wished it and that if he could believe her father she had all the affection for him which any lover could desire as for Jones said he who I am lost to call villain though his behavior to you sir sufficiently justifies the appellation his own vanity or perhaps some wicked views might make him boast of a falsehood for if there had been any reality in Miss Western's love to him the greatness of her fortune would never have suffered him to desert her as you are well informed he hath lastly sir I promise you I would not myself for any consideration no not for the whole world consent to marry this young lady if I was not persuaded that she had all the passion for me which I desire she should have this excellent method of conveying a falsehood with the heart only without making the tongue guilty of an untruth by the means of equivocation and imposture hath quieted the conscience of many a notable deceiver and yet when we consider that it is omniscience on which these endeavored to impose it may possibly seem capable of affording only a very superficial comfort and that this artful and refined distinction between communicating a lie and telling one is hardly worth the pains it costs them all worthy was pretty well satisfied with what Mr. Western and Mr. Blythe told him and the treaty was now at the end of two days concluded nothing then remained previous to the office of the priest but the office of the lawyers which threatened to take up so much time that Western offered to bind himself by all manner of covenants rather than defer the happiness of the young couple indeed he was so very earnest and pressing that an indifferent person might have concluded he was more a principal in this match than he really was but this eagerness was natural to him on all occasions and he conducted every scheme he undertook in such a manner as if the success of that alone was sufficient to constitute the whole happiness of his life the joint importunities of both father and son-in-law would probably have prevailed on Mr. Allworthy who brook but ill any delay of giving happiness to others had not Sophia herself prevented it and taken measures to put a final end to the whole treaty and to rob both church and law of those taxes which these wise bodies have thought proper to receive from the propagation of human species in a lawful manner of which in the next chapter end of section 24 section 25 of Tom Jones this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Sarah Jennings Tom Jones by Henry Fielding book seven chapter seven a strange resolution of Sophia and a more strange stratagem of Mrs. Honor though Mrs. Honor was principally attached to her own interest she was not without some little attachment to Sophia to say truth it was very difficult for anyone to know that young lady without loving her she no sooner therefore heard a piece of news which she imagined to be of great importance to her mistress than quite forgetting the anger which she had conceived two days before at her unpleasant dismission from Sophia's presence she ran hastily to inform her of the news the beginning of her discourse was as abrupt as her entrance to the room oh dear ma'am says she what does your ladyship think to be sure i am frightened out of my wits and yet i thought it my duty to tell your ladyship though perhaps it may make you angry for we servants don't always know what will make our ladies angry for to be sure everything is always laid to the charge of a servant when our ladies are out of humor to be sure we must be scolded and to be sure i should not wonder if your ladyship should be out of humor nay it must surprise you certainly i and shock you too good honor let me know it without any longer preface says Sophia there are a few things i promise you which will surprise and fewer which will shock me dear ma'am answered honor to be sure i overheard my master talking to parson supple about getting a license this very afternoon and to be sure i heard him say your ladyship should be married tomorrow morning Sophia turned pale at these words and repeated eagerly tomorrow morning yes ma'am replied the trusty waiting woman i will take my oath i heard my master say so honor says Sophia you have both surprised and shocked me to such a degree that i have scarce any breath or spirits left what is to be done in such a dreadful situation i wish i was able to advise your ladyship says she do advise me cry Sophia pray dear honor advise me think what you would attempt if it was your own case indeed ma'am cries honor i wish your ladyship and i could change situations that is i mean without hurting your ladyship for to be sure i don't wish you so bad as to be a servant but because that if so be it was my case i should find no manner of difficulty in it for in my poor opinion young squire blyphal is a charming sweet handsome man don't mention such stuff cry Sophia such stuff repeated honor why there well to be sure what's one man's meat is another man's poison and the same is altogether as true of women honor said Sophia rather than submit to be the wife of that contemptible wretch i would plunge a dagger into my heart oh lord ma'am answered the other i'm sure you frighten me out of my wits now let me beseech your ladyship not to suffer such wicked thoughts to come into your head oh lord to be sure i tremble every inch of me dear ma'am consider that to be denied christian burial and to have your corpse buried in the highway and his stake drove through you as former half penny was served at oxcross and to be sure his ghost hath walked there ever since for several people have seen him to be sure it can be nothing but the devil which can put such wicked thoughts into the head of anybody for certainly it is less wicked to hurt all the world than one's own dear self and so i have heard said by more parson's than one if your ladyship has such a violent aversion and hates the young gentleman so very bad that you can't bear to think of going into bed to him for to be sure there may be such antipathies in nature and one had lower touch at toad than the flesh of some people sophia had been too much wrapped in contemplation to pay any great attention to the foregoing excellent discourse of her maid interrupting her therefore without making any answer to it she said honor i am come to a resolution i am determined to leave my father's house this very night and if you have the friendship for me which you have often professed you will keep me company that i will ma'am to the world's end answered owner but i beg your ladyship to consider the consequence before you undertake any rash action where can your ladyship possibly go there is replied sophia a lady of quality in london a relation of mine who spent several months with my aunt in the country during all which time she treated me with great kindness and expressed so much pleasure in my company that she earnestly desired my aunt to suffer me to go with her to london and as she is a woman of very great note i shall easily find her out and i make no doubt of being very well and kindly received by her i would not have your ladyship too confident of that cries honor for the first lady i lived with used to invite people very earnestly to her house but if she heard afterwards they were coming she used to get out of the way besides though this lady would be very glad to see your ladyship asked to be sure anybody would be glad to see your ladyship yet when she hears your ladyship is run away from my master you are mistaken on her so sophia she looks upon the authority of a father in a much lower light than i do for she pressed me violently to go to london with her and when i refuse to go without my father's consent she laughed me to scorn called me a silly country girl and said i should make a pure loving wife since i could be so dutiful a daughter so i have no doubt but she will both receive me and protect me too till my father finding me out of his power can be brought to some reason well but ma'am answered honor how does your ladyship think of making your escape where will you get any horses or conveyance for as for your own horse all the servants know a little how matters stand between my master and your ladyship robin will be hanged before he will suffer it to go out of the stable without my master's express orders i intend to escape said sophia by walking out of doors when they are open i think having my legs are very able to carry me they have supported me many a long evening yes to be sure cries honor i will follow your ladyship through the world but your ladyship had almost as good be alone for i should not be able to defend you if any robbers or other villains should meet with you nay i should be in as horrible a fright as your ladyship for to be certain they would ravish us both besides ma'am consider how cold the knights are now we shall be frozen to death a good brisk pace answered sophia will preserve us from the cold and if you cannot defend me from a villain honor i will defend you for i will take a pistol with me there are always two charged in the hall dear mammy frighten me more and more cries honor sure your ladyship would not venture to fire it off i'd rather run any chance than your ladyship would do that why so says sophia smiling would you not honor fire a pistol at anyone who should attack your virtue to be sure ma'am cries honor one's virtue is a dear thing especially to ask poor servants for it is our livelihood as a body may say yet i mortally hate firearms for so many accidents happened by them well well said sophia i believe i may ensure your virtue at a very cheap rate without carrying any arms with us for i intend to take horses at the very first town we come to and we shall hardly be attacked in our way thither looky honor i am resolved to go and if you will attend me i promise you i will reward you to the very utmost of my power this last argument had a stronger effect on honor than all the proceeding and since she saw her mistress so determined she desisted from any further dissuasion they then entered into a debate on ways and means of executing their project here a very stubborn difficulty occurred and this was the removal of their effects which was much more easily got over by the mistress than the maid for when a lady hath once taken a resolution to run into a lover or to run from him all obstacles are considered as trifles but honor was inspired by no such motive she had no raptures to expect nor any terrors to shun and besides the real value of her clothes in which consisted a great part of her fortune she had a capricious fondness for several gowns and other things either because they became her or because they were given her by such a particular person because she had bought them lately or because she had had them long or for some other reasons equally good so that she could not endure the thoughts of leaving the poor things behind her exposed to the mercy of western who she doubted not would in his rage make them suffer martyrdom the ingenious mrs honor having applied all her oratory to dissuade her mistress from her purpose when she found her positively determined at last started the following expedient to remove her clothes vis-a-vis to get herself turned out of doors that very evening sophia highly approved this method but doubted how it could be brought about oh man cries honor your ladyship may trust that to me we servants very well know how to obtain this favor of our masters and mistresses though sometimes indeed where they owe us more wages than they can readily pay they will put up with all our affronts and will hardly take any warning we give them but the squire is none of those and since your ladyship is resolved upon setting out tonight i warrant i get discharged this afternoon it was then resolved that she should pack up some linen and a nightgown for sophia with her own things and as for all her other clothes the young lady abandoned them with no more remorse than the sailor feels when he throws over the goods of others in order to save his own life chapter eight containing scenes of altercation of no very uncommon kind mrs honor had scarce sooner parted from her young lady then something for i would not like the old woman in quavado injure the devil by any false accusation and possibly he might have no hand in it but something i say suggested itself to her that by sacrificing sophia and all her secrets to mr western she might probably make her fortune many considerations urged this discovery a fair prospect of a handsome reward for so great and acceptable a service to the squire tempted her avarice and again the danger of the enterprise she had undertaken the uncertainty of its success night cold robbers ravishers all alarmed her fears so forcibly did all these operate upon her that she was almost determined to go directly to the squire and to lay open the whole affair she was however too upright a judge to decree on one side before she had heard the other and here first journey to london appeared very strongly in support of sophia she eagerly longed to see a place in which she fancied charms short only of those which are raptured saint imagines in heaven in the next place as she knew sophia to have much more generosity than her master so her fidelity promised her a greater reward than she could gain by treachery she then cross-examined all the articles which had raised her fears on the other side and found on fairly sifting the matter that there was really very little in them and now both scales being reduced to a pretty even balance her love to her mistress being thrown into the scale of her integrity made that rather preponderant when a circumstance struck upon her imagination which might have had a dangerous effect had its whole weight been fairly put into the other scale this was the length of time which must intervene before sophia would be able to fulfill her promises for though she was entitled to her mother's fortune at the death of her father and to the sum of three thousand pounds left her by an uncle when she came of age yet these were distant days and many accidents might prevent the intended generosity of the young lady whereas the rewards she might expect from mr. western were immediate but while she was pursuing this thought the good genius of sophia or that which presided over the integrity of mrs. honor or perhaps mere chance sent an accident in her way which at once preserved her fidelity and even facilitated the intended business mrs. western's maid claimed great superiority over mrs. honor on several accounts first her birth was higher for her great grandmother by the mother's side was a cousin not far removed to an irish peer secondly her wages were greater and lastly she had been at london and had of consequence seen more of the world she had always behaved therefore to mrs. honor with that reserve and had always exacted of her those marks of distinction which every order of females preserves and requires in conversation with those of an inferior order now as honor did not at all times agree with this doctrine but would frequently break in upon the respect which the other demanded mrs. western's maid was not at all pleased with her company indeed she earnestly longed to return home to the house of her mistress where she domineered at will over all the other servants she had been greatly therefore disappointed in the morning when mrs. western had changed her mind on the very point of departure and had been in what is vulgarly called a gloating humor ever since in this humor which was none of the sweetest she came into the room where honor was debating with herself in the manner we have above related honor no sooner saw her than she addressed her in the following obliging phrase so madame i find we are to have the pleasure of your company longer which i was afraid the quarrel between my master and your lady would have robbed us of i don't know madame answered the other what you mean by we and us i assure you i do not look on any of the servants in this house to be proper company for me i am company i hope for their betters every day in the week i do not speak on your account mrs honor for you are a civilized young woman and when you have seen a little more of the world i should not be ashamed to walk with you in st. james's park hoity toydy cries honor madame is in her air as i protest mrs honor for soothe sure madame you might call me by my surname for though my lady calls me honor i have a surname as well as other folks ashamed to walk with me quoth a merry as good as yourself i hope since you make such a return to my civility said the other i must acquaint you mrs honor that you are not so good as me in the country indeed one is obliged to take up with all kind of trumpery but in town i visit none but the women of women of quality indeed mrs honor there is some difference i hope between you and me i hope so too answered honor there is some difference in our ages and i think in our persons upon speaking which last words she strutted by mrs westerns made with the most provoking air of contempt turning up her nose tossing her head and violently brushing the hoop of her competitor with her own the other lady put on one of her most malicious sneers and said creature you are below my anger and it is beneath me to give ill words to such an audacious saucy trollop but hussy i must tell you your breeding shows the meanness of your birth as well as of your education and both very properly qualify you to be the mean serving woman of a country girl don't abuse my lady cross honor i won't take that of you she's as much better than yours as she is younger and 10 000 times more handsomer here ill luck or rather good luck sent mrs western to see her made in tears which began to flow plentifully at her approach and of which being asked the reason by her mistress she presently acquainted her that the tears were occasioned by the rude treatment of that creature there meaning honor and madame continued she i could have despised all she said to me but she had had the audacity to affront your ladieship and to call you ugly yes madame she called you ugly old cat to my face i could not bear to hear your ladieship called ugly why do you repeat her impudence so often sedgenesses western and then turning to mrs honor she asked her how she had the assurance to mention her name with disrespect disrespect madame answered honor i never mentioned your name at all i said somebody was not as handsome as my mistress and to be sure you know that as well as i hussy replied the lady i will make such a saucy trollop as yourself know that i am not a proper subject of your discourse and if my brother does not discharge you this moment i will never sleep in his house again i will find him out and have you discharged this moment discharged chris honor and suppose i am there are more places in the world than one thank heaven good servants need not want places and if you turn away all who do not think you handsome you will want servants very soon let me tell you that mrs western spoke or rather thundered an answer but as she was hardly articulate we cannot be very certain of the identical words we shall therefore omit inserting a speech which at best would not greatly redoubt to her honor she then departed in search of her brother with accountants so full of rage that she resembled one of the furies rather than a human creature the two chambermaids being again left alone began a second bout at altercation which soon produced a combat of a more active kind in this the victory belonged to the lady of the inferior rank but not without some loss of blood of hair and of lawn and muslin chapter nine the wise demeanor of mr western and the character of a magistrate a hint to justices of peace concerning the necessary qualifications of a clerk with extraordinary instances of paternal madness and filial affection logicians sometimes prove too much by an argument and politicians often overreach themselves in a scheme thus had it like to have happened to mrs honor who instead of recovering the rest of her clothes had liked to have stopped even those she had on her back from escaping for the squire no sooner heard of her having abused his sister than he swore 20 oaths he would send her to bridewell mrs western was a very good natured woman and ordinarily of a forgiving temper she had lately remitted the trespass of a stage coachman who had overturned her post-shays into a ditch nay she had even broken the law in refusing to prosecute a highwayman who had robbed her not only of a sum of money but of her earrings at the same time damning her and saying such handsome bishops as you don't want jewels to set them off and be damned to you but now so uncertain are our tempers and so much do we at different times differ from ourselves she would hear of no mitigation nor could all the affected penitents of honor nor all the entreaties of sofia for her own servant prevail with her to desist from earnestly desiring her brother to execute justice ship for it was indeed a syllable more than justice on the winch but luckily the clerk had a qualification which no clerk to a justice of peace ought ever to be without namely some understanding in the law of this realm he therefore whispered in the ear of the justice that he would exceed his authority by committing the girl to bridewell as there had been no attempt to break the peace for i am afraid sir says he you cannot legally commit anyone to bridewell for only ill breeding in matters of high importance particularly in cases relating to the game the justice was not always attentive to these admonitions of his clerk for indeed in executing the laws under that head many justices of peace suppose they have a large discretionary power by virtue of which under the notion of searching for and taking away engines for the destruction of the game they often commit trespasses and sometimes felony at their pleasure but this offense was not of quite so high a nature nor so dangerous to the society here therefore the justice behaved with some attention to the advice of his clerk for in fact he had already had two informations exhibited against him in the king's bench and he had no curiosity to try a third the squire therefore putting on a most wise and significant countenance after a preface of several hums and haws told his sister that upon more mature deliberation he was of opinion that as there was no breaking up of the peace such as the law says he calls breaking open a door or breaking a hedge or breaking a head or any such sort of breaking the matter did not amount to a felonious kind of thing nor trespasses nor damages and therefore there was no punishment in the law for it mrs. western said she knew the law much better that she had known servants very severely punished for affronting their masters and then named a certain justice of the peace in london who she said would commit a servant to bridewell at any time when a master or mistress desired it like enough cries the squire it may be so in london but the law is different in the country here followed a very learned dispute between the brother and sister concerning the law which we would insert if we imagined many of our readers could understand it this was however at length referred by both parties to the clerk who decided it in favor of the magistrate and mrs. western was in the end obliged to content herself with the satisfaction of having honor turned away to which sophia herself very readily and cheerfully consented thus fortune after having diverted itself according to custom with two or three frolics at last disposed all manners to the advantage of our heroine who indeed succeeded admirably well in her deceit considering it was the first she had ever practiced and to say truth i have often concluded that the honest part of mankind would be much too hard for the navish if they could bring themselves to incur the guilt or thought it worth their while to take the trouble honor acted her part to the utmost perfection she no sooner saw herself secure from all danger of bridewell a word which had raised most horrible ideas in her mind and she resumed those errors which her tears before had a little abated and laid down her place with as much affectation of content and indeed of contempt as was ever practiced at the resignation of places of much greater importance if the reader pleases therefore we choose rather to say she resigned which hath indeed always been held a synonymous expression with being turned out or turned away mr western ordered her to be very expedious in her packing for his sister declared she would not sleep another night under the same roof so impudent a slut to work therefore she went and that so earnestly that everything was ready early in the evening when having received her wages away packed bag and baggage to the great satisfaction of everyone but of none more than of sofia who having appointed her maid to meet her at a certain place not far from the house exactly at the dreadful and ghostly hour of 12 began to prepare for her own departure but first she was obliged to give two painful audiences the one to her aunt and the other to her father in these mrs western herself began to talk to her in a more preemptory style than before but her father treated her in so violent and outrageous a manner that he frightened her into an affected compliance with his will which so highly pleased the good squire that he changed his frowns into smiles and his menaces into promises he vowed that his whole soul was wrapped in hers that her consent for so he construed the words you know sir i must not nor can refuse to obey any absolute command of yours had made him the happiest of mankind he then gave her a large bank bill to dispose of in any trinkets she pleased and kissed and embraced her in the fondest manner while tears of joy trickled from those eyes which a few moments before had darted fire and rage against the dear object of all his affection instances of this behavior in parents are so common that the reader i doubt not will be very little astonished at the whole conduct of mr western if he should i own i am not able to account for it since that he loved his daughter most tenderly is i think beyond dispute so indeed have many others who have rendered their children most completely miserable by the same conduct which though it is almost universal in parents hath always appeared to me to be the most unaccountable of all absurdities which ever entered into the brain of that strange prodigious creature man the latter part of mr western's behavior had so strong an effect on the tender heart of sofia that it suggested a thought to her which not all the sophistry of her politic aunt nor all the menaces of her father had ever once brought into her head she reverenced her father so piously and loved him so passionately that she had scarce ever felt more pleasing sensations than what arose from the share she frequently had of contributing to his amusement and sometimes perhaps to higher gratifications for he never could contain the delight of hearing her commended which he had the satisfaction of hearing almost every day of her life the idea therefore of the immense happiness she should convey to her father by her consent to this match made a strong impression on her mind again the extreme piety of such an act of obedience worked very forcibly as she had a very deep sense of religion lastly when she reflected how much she herself was to suffer being indeed to become little less than a sacrifice or a martyr to fully a love and duty she felt an agreeable tickling in a certain little passion which though it bears no immediate affinity either to religion or virtue is often so kind as to lend great assistance in executing the purposes of both so few was charmed with the contemplation of so heroic inaction began to complement herself with much premature flattery when cupid who they hid in her muff suddenly crept out and like a punchinello in a puppet show kicked out all before him in truth for we scorn to deceive our reader or to vindicate the character of our heroine by ascribing her actions to supernatural impulse the thoughts of her beloved jones and some hopes however distant in which she was very particularly concerned immediately destroyed all which filial love piety and pride had with their joint endeavors been laboring to bring about but before we proceed any further with sofia we must now look back to mr jones end of section 25 section 26 of tom jones this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox.org recording by sarah jennings tom jones by henry fielding book seven chapter ten containing several matters natural enough perhaps but low the reader will be pleased to remember that we left mr jones in the beginning of this book on his road to bristol being determined to seek his fortune at sea or rather indeed to fly away from his fortune on shore it happened a thing not very unusual that the guide who undertook to conduct him on his way was unluckily unacquainted with the road so that having missed the right track and being ashamed to ask information he rambled about backwards and forwards till night came on and it began to grow dark jones suspecting what had happened acquainted the guide with his apprehensions but he insisted on it that they were in the right road and added it would be very strange if he should not know the road to bristol though in reality it would have been much stranger if he had known it having never passed through it in his life before jones had not such implicit faith in his guide but that on their arrival at a village he inquired of the first fellow he saw whether they were in the road to bristol whence did you come cries the fellow no matter says jones a little hastily i want to know if this be the road to bristol the road to bristol cries the fellow scratching his head why mister i believe you will hardly get to bristol this way tonight pretty friend then answered jones do tell us which is the way why mister cries the fellow you must become out of your road the lord knows wither for this way goes to Gloucester well and which way grows to bristol said jones why you be going away from bristol answered the fellow then said jones we must go back again ah you must said the fellow well and when we come back to the top of the hill which way must we take why you must keep the straight road but i remember there are two roads one to the right and the other to the left why you must keep the right hand road and then go straight forwards only remember to turn verse to your right then to your left again and then to your right and that brings you to the squires and then you must keep straight forwards and turn to the left another fellow now came up and asked which way the gentlemen were going of which being informed by jones he first scratched his head and then leaning upon a pole he had in his hand began to tell him that he must keep the right hand road for about a mile or a mile and a half for such a matter and then he must turn short to the left which would bring him round by mr gen birans but which way is mr john birans says jones oh lord cries the fellow why you don't know mr gin birans whence then did you come these two fellows had almost conquered the patience of jones when a plain well looking man who was indeed a quaker accosted him thus friend i perceive the house lost thy way and if that will take my advice thou will not attempt to find it tonight it is almost dark and the road is difficult to hit besides there have been several robberies committed lately between this and bristol here is a very creditable good house just by where thou mayest find good entertainment for thyself and thy cattle till morning jones after a little persuasion agreed to stay in this place till the morning and was conducted by his friend to the public house the landlord who was a very civil fellow told jones he hoped he would excuse the badness of his accommodation for that his wife was gone from home and had locked up almost everything and carried the keys along with her indeed the fact was that a favorite daughter of hers was just married and gone that morning home with her husband and that she and her mother together had almost stripped the poor man of all his goods as well as money for though he had several children this daughter only who was the mother's favorite was the object of her consideration and to the humor of this one child she would with pleasure have sacrificed all the rest and her husband into the bargain though jones was very unfit for any kind of company and would have preferred being alone yet he could not resist the opportunities of the honest quaker who was the more desirous of sitting with him from having remarked the melancholy which appeared both in his countenance and behavior and which the poor quaker thought his conversation might in some measure relieve after they had passed some time together in such a manner that my honest friend might have thought himself at one of his silent meetings the quaker began to be moved by some spirit or other probably that of curiosity and said friend i perceive some sad disaster hath befallen thee but pray be of comfort perhaps thou hast lost a friend if so thou must consider we are all mortal and why should thou grieve when thou knowest thy grief will do thy friend no good we are all born to affliction i myself have my sorrows as well as thee and most probably greater sorrows though i have a clear estate of a hundred pounds a year which is as much as i want and i have a conscience i thank the lord void of offense my constitution is sound and strong and there is no man can demand a debt of me nor accuse me of an injury yet friend i should be concerned to think thee as miserable as myself here the quaker ended with a deep sigh and jones presently answered i'm very sorry sir for your unhappiness whatever is the occasion of it ah friend replied the quaker one only daughter is the occasion one who was my greatest delight upon the earth and who within this week has run away from me and is married against my consent i had provided her a proper match a sober man and one of substance but she forsooth would choose for herself in a way she has gone with a young fellow not worth a groat if she had been dead as i suppose thy friend is i should have been happy that is very strange sir said jones why would it not be better for her to be dead than to be a beggar replied the quaker for as i told you the fellow is not worth a groat and surely she cannot expect that i shall ever give her a shilling no she hath married for love let her live on love if she can let her carry her love to the market and see whether anyone will change it into silver or even into hot pants you know your own concerns best sir said jones it must have been continued the quaker a long premeditated scheme to cheat me for they have known one another from their infancy and i always preached to her against love and told her a thousand times over it was all folly and wickedness now the cunning slut pretended to hearken to me and to despise all wantonness of the flesh and yet at last broke out a window two pair of stairs for i began indeed a little to suspect her and had locked her up carefully intending the very next morning to have married her up to my liking but she disappointed me within a few hours and escaped away to the lover of her own choosing who lost no time for they were married embedded all within an hour but it shall be the worst hour's work for them both that ever they did for they may starve or beg or steal together for me i will never give either of them a farthing here jones starting up cried i really must be excused i wish you would leave me come come friend said the quaker don't give way to concern you see there are other people miserable besides yourself i see there are mad men and fools and villains in the world cries jones but let me give you a piece of advice send for your daughter and son-in-law home and don't be yourself the only cause of misery to one you pretend to love send for her and her husband home cries the quaker loudly i would sooner send for the two greatest enemies i have in the world well go home yourself or where you please said jones for i will sit no longer in such company nay friend answered the quaker i scorned to impose my company on anyone he then offered to pull money from his pocket but jones pushed him some violence out of the room the subject of the quaker's discourse had so deeply affected jones that he stared very wildly all the time he was speaking this the quaker had observed and this added to the rest of his behavior inspired honest broad brim with a concede that his companion was in reality out of his senses instead of resenting the affront therefore the quaker was moved with compassion for his unhappy circumstances and having communicated his opinion to the landlord he desired him to take great care of his guest and to treat him with the highest civility indeed says the landlord i shall use no such civility towards him for it seems for all his laced waistcoat there that he is no more a gentleman than myself but a poor perished bastard bred up at a great squire's about 30 miles off and now turned out of doors not for any good to be sure i shall get him out of my house as soon as possible if i do lose my reckoning the first loss is always the best it is not above a year ago that i lost a silver spoon what does thou talk of a perished bastard robin answered the quaker that must certainly be mistaken in that man not at all replied robin the guide who knows him very well told it me for indeed the guide had no sooner taken his place at the kitchen fire than he acquainted the whole company with all he knew or had ever heard concerning jones the quaker was no sooner assured by this fellow of the berth and low fortune of jones than all compassion for him banished and the honest plain man went home fired with no less indignation than a duke would have felt at receiving in a front from such a person the landlord himself conceived an equal disdain for his guest so that when jones rang the bell in order to retire to bed he was acquainted that he could have no bed there besides disdain of the mean condition of his guest robin entertained violent suspicion of his intentions which were he supposed to watch some favorable opportunity of robbing the house in reality he might have been very well eased of these apprehensions by the prudent precautions of his wife and daughter who had already removed everything which was not fixed to the freehold but he was by nature suspicious and had been more particularly so since the loss of his spoon in short the dread of being robbed totally absorbed the comfortable consideration that he had nothing to lose jones being assured that he could have no bed very contentedly but took himself to a great chair made with rushes when sleep which had lately shunned his company in much better apartments generously paid him a visit in his humble cell as for the landlord he was prevented by his fears from retiring to rest he returned therefore to the kitchen fire once he could survey the only door which opened into the parlor or rather whole where jones was seated and as for the window to that room it was impossible for any creature larger than a cat to have made his escape through it chapter 11 the adventure of a company of soldiers the landlord having taken his seat directly opposite to the door of the parlor determined to keep guard there the whole night the guide and another fellow remained long on duty with him though they neither knew his suspicions nor had any of their own the true cause of their watching did indeed at length put an end to it for this was no other than the strength and goodness of the beer of which having tippled a very large quantity they grew at first very noisy and vociferous and afterwards fell both asleep but it was not in the power of liquor to compose the fears of robin he continued still waking in his chair with his eyes fixed steadfastly on the door which led into the apartment of mr. jones till a violent thundering at his outward gate called him from his seat and obliged him to open it which he had no sooner done than his kitchen was immediately full of gentlemen in red coats who all rushed upon him in as tumultuous a manner as if they intended to take his little castle by storm the landlord was now forced from his post to furnish his numerous guests with beer which they called for with great eagerness and upon his second or third return from the cellar he saw mr. jones standing before the fire in the midst of the soldiers for it may easily be believed that the arrival of so much good company should put an end to any sleep unless that from which we are to be awakened only by the last trumpet the company having now pretty well satisfied their thirst nothing remained but to pay the reckoning a circumstance often productive of much mischief and discontent among the inferior rank of gentry who are apt to find great difficulty in assessing the sum with exact regard to distributive justice which directs that every man shall pay according to the quantity which he drinks this difficulty occurred upon the present occasion and it was the greater as some gentlemen had an extreme hurry marched off after their first draft and had entirely forgot to contribute anything towards the said reckoning a violent dispute now arose in which every word may be said to have been deposed upon oath for the oaths were at least equal to all the other words spoken in this controversy the whole company spoke together every man seemed wholly bent to extenuate the sum which fell to his share so that the most probable conclusion which could be foreseen was that a large portion of the reckoning would fall to the landlord's share to pay or what is much the same thing would remain unpaid all this while mr. Jones was engaged in conversation with the sergeant for that officer was entirely unconcerned in the present dispute being privileged by immemorial custom from all contribution the dispute now grew so very warm that it seemed to draw towards a military decision when jones stepping forward silenced all their clamors at once by declaring that he would pay the whole reckoning which indeed amounted to no more than three shillings and four pence this declaration procured jones the thanks and applause of the whole company the terms honorable noble and worthy gentleman resounded through the room name i landlord himself began to have a better opinion of him and almost to disbelieve the account which the guide had given the sergeant had informed mr. jones that they were marching against the rebels and expected to be commanded by the glorious duke of cumberland by which the reader may perceive a circumstance which we have not thought necessary to communicate before that this was the very time when the late rebellion was at the highest and indeed the bandit were now marching into england intending as it was thought to fight the king's forces and to attempt pushing forward to the metropolis jones had some heroic ingredients in his composition and was a hearty well-wisher to the glorious cause of liberty and of the Protestant religion it is no wonder therefore that in circumstances which would have warranted a much more romantic and wild undertaking it should occur to him to serve as a volunteer in this expedition our commanding officer had said all in his power to encourage and promote this good disposition from the first moment he had been acquainted with it he now proclaimed the noble resolution allowed which was received with great pleasure by the whole company who all cried out god bless king george on your honor and then added with many oaths we will stand by you both till the last drops of our blood the gentleman who had been up all night tippling at the l-house was prevailed on by some arguments which a corporal had put into his hands to undertake the same expedition and now the portmanteau belonging to mr jones being put up in the baggage cart the forces were about to move forwards when the guide stepping up to jones said sir i hope you will consider that the horses have been kept out all night and we have traveled a great ways out of our way jones was surprised at the impudence of this demand and acquainted the soldiers with the merits of his cause who were all unanimous in condemning the guide for his endeavors to put upon a gentleman some said he ought to be tied neck and heels others that he deserved to run the gauntlet and the sergeant shook his cane at him and wished he had him under his command swearing heartily that he would make an example of him jones contented himself however with a negative punishment and walked off with his new comrades leaving the guide to the poor revenge of cursing and reviling him in which latter the landlord joined saying eye eye he is a pure one i warrant you a pretty gentleman indeed to go for a soldier he shall wear a laced waistcoat truly it is an old proverb and a true one all is not gold that glisters i'm glad my house is well rid of him all that day the sergeant and the young soldier marched together and the former who was an archfellow told the latter many entertaining stories of his campaigns though in reality he had never made any for he was but lately come into the service and had by his own dexterity so well ingratiated himself with his officers that he had promoted himself to a hall bird chiefly indeed by his merit in recruiting in which he was most excellently well skilled much mirth and festivity passed among the soldiers during their march in which the many occurrences that had passed at their last quarters were remembered and everyone with great freedom made what jokes he pleased on his officers some of which were of the coarser kind and very near bordering on scandal this brought to our hero's mind the custom which he had read of among the Greeks and Romans of indulging on certain festivals and solemn occasions the liberty to slaves of using an uncontrolled freedom of speech towards their masters our little army which consisted of two companies afoot were now arrived at the place where they were to halt that evening the sergeant then acquainted his lieutenant who was the commanding officer that they had picked up two fellows in that day's march one of which he said was as fine a man as he ever saw meaning the tipler for that he was near six feet well proportioned and strongly limbed and the other meaning Jones would do well enough for the rear bank the new soldiers were now produced before the officer who having examined the six feet man he being first produced came next to survey Jones at the first sight of whom the lieutenant could not help showing some surprise for besides that he was very well dressed and was naturally genteel he had a remarkable air of dignity in his look which is rarely seen among the vulgar and is indeed not inseparably annexed to the features of their superiors sir said the lieutenant my sergeant inform me that you are desirous of enlisting in the company I have at present under my command if so sir we shall very gladly receive a gentleman who promises to do much honor to the company by bearing arms in it Jones answered he had not mentioned anything of enlisting himself that he was most zealously attached to the glorious cause for which they were going to fight and was very desirous of serving as a volunteer concluding with some compliments to the lieutenant and expressing the great satisfaction he should have in being under his command the lieutenant returned his civility commended his resolution shook him by the hand and invited him to dine with himself and the rest of the officers chapter 12 the adventure of a company of officers the lieutenant whom we mentioned in the preceding chapter and who commanded this party was now near sixty years of age he had entered very young into the army and had served in the capacity of an ensign at the battle of ten year where he had received two wounds and had so well distinguished himself that he was by the Duke of Marlboro advanced to be a lieutenant immediately after that battle in this commission he had continued ever since vis-a-vis near forty years during which time he had seen vast numbers preferred over his head and had now the mortification to be commanded by boys whose fathers were at nurse when he first entered into the service nor was this ill success in his profession solely owing to his having no friends among the men in power he had the misfortune to incur the displeasure of his colonel who for many years continued in the command of this regiment nor did he owe the implacable ill will which this man bore him to any neglect or deficiency as an officer nor indeed to any fault in himself but solely to the indiscretion of his wife who was a very beautiful woman and who though she was remarkably fond of her husband would not purchase his preferment at the expense of certain favors which the colonel required of her the poor lieutenant was more peculiarly unhappy in this that while he felt the effects of the enmity of his colonel he neither knew nor suspected that he really bore him any for he could not suspect an ill will for which he was not conscious of giving any cause and his wife fearing what her husband's nice regard to his honor might have occasioned contented herself with preserving her virtue without enjoying the triumphs of her conquest this unfortunate officer for so I think he may be called had many good qualities besides his marriage in his profession for he was a religious honest good-natured man and had behaved so well in his command that he was highly esteemed and beloved not only by the soldiers of his own company but by the whole regiment the other officers who marched with him were a French lieutenant who had been long enough out of France to forget his own language but not long enough in England to learn ours so that he rarely spoke no language at all and could barely make himself understood on the most ordinary occasions there were likewise two ensigns both very young fellows one of whom had been bred under an attorney and the other was son to the wife of a nobleman's butler as soon as dinner was ended Jones informed the company of the merriment which had passed among the soldiers upon their march and yet says he not withstanding all their vociferation I dare swear they will behave more like grecians than Trojans when they come to the enemy grecians and Trojans said one of the ensigns who the devil are they I have heard of all the troops in Europe but never have any such as these don't pretend more ignorance than you have Mr. Northerton said the worthy lieutenant I suppose you have heard of the Greeks and Trojans though perhaps you never read Pope's Homer who I remember now the gentleman mentions it compares the march of Trojans to the cackling of geese and greatly commends the silence of the grecians and upon my honor there is great justice in the cadets observation big army we remember them verbels said the French lieutenant me have read them at school and don't madam does hear the Greek the Trojan they fight for one woman we we have read all that damn homo with all my hearts says northerton I have the marks of him on my ass yet there's Thomas of our regiment always carries a homo in his pocket damn me if ever I come at it if I don't burn it and there's Cordarius another damn son of a whore that had got me many a flogging then you have been at school Mr. Northerton said the lieutenant I damn me have I answered he the devil take my father for sending me the other the old put wanted to make a parson of me but damn me thinks I to myself I'll nick you there old call the devil a smack of your nonsense shall you ever get into me there's Jimmy Oliver of our regiment he narrowly escaped being a pimp too and that would have been a thousand pennies for damn me if he is not one of the prettiest fellows in the whole world but he went further than I with the old call for Jimmy can neither read nor write you give your friend a very good character says the lieutenant and a very deserved one I dare say but pray the northerton leave off that foolish as well as wicked custom of swearing for you are deceived I promise you if you think there is wit or politeness in it I wish to you would take my advice and assist from abusing the clergy scandalous names and reflections cast on any body of men must be always unjustifiable but especially so when thrown on so sacred a function for to abuse the body is to abuse the function itself and I leave you to judge how inconsistent such behavior is in men who are going to fight in defense of the Protestant religion Mr. Adderley who was the name of the other ensign had sat hitherto kicking his heels and humming a tune without seeming to listen to the discourse he now answered oh monsieur on the par par de la religion dans la guerre well said jack cries northerton if la religion was the only matter the parson should fight their own battles for me I don't know gentlemen said jones what may be your opinion but I think no man can engage in a nobler cause than that of his religion and I have observed in the little I have read of history that no soldiers have fought so bravely as those who haven't been inspired with a religious zeal for my own part though I love my king and country I hope as well as any man in it yet the Protestant interest is no small motive to my becoming a volunteer in the cause northerton now winked on Adderley whispered to him slyly smoke the prayer gatterly smoke him then turning to jones said to him I am very glad sir you have chosen our regiment to be a volunteer in for a far parson should at any time take a cup too much I find you can supply his place I presume sir you have been at the university may I crave the favor to know what college sir answered jones so far from having been at the university I've even had the advantage of yourself for I was never at school I presumed cries the answer and only upon the information of your great learning oh sir answered jones it is as possible for a man to know something without having been at school as it is to have been at school and to know nothing well said young volunteer cries the lieutenant upon my word northerton you had better let him alone for he will be too hard for you northerton did not very well relish the sarcasm of jones but he thought the provocation was scarce sufficient to justify a blow or a rascal or scoundrel which were the only repartees that suggested themselves he was therefore silent at present but resolved to take the first opportunity of returning the jest by abuse it now came to the turn of mr. jones to give a toast as it is called who could not refrain from mentioning his dear sofia this he did the more readily as he imagined it utterly impossible that anyone present should guess the person he meant but the lieutenant who was the toast master was not contented with sofia only he said he must have her surname upon which jones hesitated a little and presently after named miss sofia western ensign northerton declared he would not drink her health in the same round with his own toast unless somebody would vouch for her i knew one sofia western says he that was lain with by half the young fellows at bath and perhaps this is the same woman jones very solemnly assured him of the contrary asserting that the young lady he named was one of great fashion and fortune ii says the ensign and so she is damn me it is the same woman and all hold half a dozen of burgundy tom french of our regiment brings her into company with us at any tavern in bridges street he then proceeded to describe her person exactly for he had seen her with her aunt and concluded with saying that her father had a great estate and some are so shy the tenderness of lovers can ill brook the least jesting with the names of their mistresses however jones though he had enough of the lover and of the hero too in his disposition did not resent these slanders as hastily as perhaps he ought to have done to say the truth having seen but little of this kind of wit he did not readily understand it and for a long time imagined mr northerton had really mistaken his charmer for some other but now turning to the ensign with a stern aspect he said pray sir choose some other subject for your wit for i promise you i will bear no jesting with this lady's character jesting cries the other damn me if ever i was more in earnest in my life tom french of our regiment had both her and her aunt at bath then i must tell you in earnest cries jones that you are one of the most impudent rascals upon earth he had no sooner spoken these words than the ensign together with a volley of curses discharged a bottle full at the head of jones which hitting him a little above the right temple brought him instantly to the ground the conqueror perceiving the enemy to lie motionless before him and blood beginning to flow pretty plentifully from his wound began now to think of quitting the field of battle where no more honor was to be gotten but the lieutenant interposed by stepping before the door and thus cut off his retreat northerton was very important with the lieutenant for his liberty urging the ill consequences of his stay asking him what he could have done less zound says he i was but in just with the fellow i've never heard any harm of miss western in my life have you not said the lieutenant then you richly deserve to be hanged as well for making such jests as for using such a weapon you are my prisoner sir nor shall you stir from hence till a proper guard comes to secure you such an ascendant had our lieutenant over this ensign that all that fervency of courage which had leveled our poor hero with the floor would scarce of animated the said ensign to have drawn his sword against the lieutenant had he then had one dangling at his side but all the swords being hung up in the room were at the very beginning of the fray secured by the french officer so that mr northerton was obliged to attend the final issue of this affair the french gentleman and mr adderly at the desire of their commanding officer had raised up the body of jones but as they could perceive but little if any sign of life in him they again let him fall adderly damning him for having blooded his waistcoat and the frenchman declaring but i mean no touch the englishman de mort me have heard the english lay law what you call hang up demand that touch him last when the good lieutenant applied himself to the door he applied himself likewise to the bell and the drawer immediately attending he dispatched himself for a file of musketeers and a surgeon these commands together with the drawer's report of what he had himself seen not only produced the soldiers but presently drew up the landlord of the house his wife and servants and indeed everyone else who happened at that time to be in the inn to describe every particular and to relate the whole conversation of the ensuing scene is not within my power unless i had 40 pens and could at once write with them all together as the company now spoke the reader must therefore content himself with the most remarkable incidents and perhaps he may well excuse the rest the first thing done was securing the body of northerton who being delivered into the custody of six men with a corporal at their head was by them conducted from a place which he was very willing to leave but it was unluckily to a place whether he was very unwilling to go to say the truth so whimsical are the desires of ambition the very moment this youth had attained the above mentioned honor he would have been well contented to have retired to some corner of the world where the fame of it should never have reached his ears it surprises us and so perhaps it may the reader that the lieutenant worthy and good man should have applied his chief care rather to secure the offender and to preserve the life of the wounded person we mentioned this observation not with any view of pretending to account for so odd a behavior but lest some critic should hear after plume himself on discovering it we would have these gentlemen know that we can see what is odd in our characters as well as themselves but it is our business to relate facts as they are which when we have done it is the part of the learned and sagacious reader to consult that original book of nature once every passage in our work is transcribed though we quote not always the particular page for its authority the company which were now arrived were of a different disposition they suspended their curiosity concerning the person of the ensign till they should see him here after in a more engaging attitude at present their whole concern and attention were employed about the bloody object on the floor which being placed upright in a chair soon began to discover some symptoms of life and motion these were no sooner perceived by the company for jones was at first generally concluded to be dead then they all fell at once to prescribing for him for as none of the physical order was present everyone there took that office upon him bleeding was the unanimous voice of the whole room but unluckily there was no operator at hand everyone then cried call the barber but none stirred a step several cordials were likewise prescribed in the same ineffective manner till the landlord ordered up a tankard of strong beer with a toast which he said was the best cordial in england the person principally assistant on this occasion indeed the only one who did any service or seemed likely to do any was the landlady she cut off some of her hair and applied it to the womb to stop the blood she fell to chafing the youth's temples with her hand and having expressed great contempt for her husband's prescription of beer she dispatched one of her maids to her own closet for a bottle of brandy of which as soon as it was brought she prevailed on jones who was just returned to his senses to drink a very large and plentiful draft soon afterwards arrived the surgeon who having viewed the wound having shaken his head and blamed everything which was done ordered his patient instantly to bed in which place we think proper to leave him some time to his repose and shall here therefore put an end to this chapter end of section 26 section 27 of Tom Jones this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Sarah Jennings Tom Jones by Henry Fielding book 7 chapter 13 containing the great address of the landlady the great learning of a surgeon and the solid skill and casustry of the worthy lieutenant when the wounded man was carried to his bed and the house began again to clear up from the hurry which this accident had occasioned the landlady thus addressed the commanding officer i'm afraid sir said she this young man did not behave himself as well as he should do to your honors and if he had been killed i suppose he had but his desserts but to be sure when the gentleman admit inferior parson's into their company they off to keep their distance but as my first husband used to say few of them know how to do it for my own part i'm sure i should not have suffered any fellows to include themselves into gentlemen's company but i thought he had been an officer himself till the sergeant told me he was but a recruit landlady answered the lieutenant you mistake the whole matter the young man behaved himself extremely well and is i believe a much better gentleman than the ensign who abused him if the young fellow dies the man who struck him will have most reason to be sorry for it for the regiment will get rid of a very troublesome fellow who is a scandal to the army and if he escapes from the hands of justice blame me madam that's all i i good lackaday said the landlady who could have thought it i i i am satisfied your honor will see justice done and to be sure it off to be to everyone gentlemen off not to kill poor folks without answering for it a poor man hath a soul to be saved as well as his betters indeed madam said the lieutenant you do the volunteer wrong i dareswear he is more of a gentleman than the officer i cross the landlady why look you there now well my first husband was a wise man he used to say you can't always know the inside by the outside nay that might have been well enough too for i never sawed him till he was all over blood who would have thought it may help some young gentleman crossed in love good lackaday he should die what a concern it will be to his parents why sure the devil must possess the wicked wretch to do such an act to be sure he is a scandal to the army as your honor says for most of the gentlemen of the army that ever i saw are quite different sort of people and look as if they would scorn to spill any christian blood as much as any men i mean that is in a civil way as my first husband used to say to be sure when they come into the wars there must be bloodshed but they are not to be blamed for that the more of our enemies they kill they're the better and i wish with all my heart they could kill every mother's son of them oh my madam said the lieutenant smiling all is rather too bloody minded a wish not at all sir answered she i'm not at all bloody minded only to our enemies and there is no harm in that to be sure it is natural for us to wish our enemies dead that the wars may be at an end and our taxes be lowered where it is a dreadful thing to pay as we do why now there is above 40 shillings for window lights and yet we have stopped up all we could we have almost blinded the house i'm sure says i to the excisemen says i i think you have to favor us i'm sure we are very good friends to the government and so we are for certain for we pay a mint of money to him and yet i often think to myself the government does not imagine itself more obliged to us than to those who don't pay him a farthing hi hi it's the way of the world she was proceeding in this manner when the surgeon entered the room the lieutenant immediately asked how his patient did but he resolved him only by saying better i believe than he would have been by this time if i had not been called and even as it is perhaps it would have been lucky if i'd been called sooner i hope sir said the lieutenant the skull is not fractured hmm crisis surgeon fractures are not always the most dangerous symptoms contusions and lacerations are often attended with worse phenomena than with more fatal consequences than fractures people who know nothing of the matter conclude if the skull is not fractured all as well whereas i'd rather see a man's skull broke all two pieces than some contusions i have met with i hope says the lieutenant there are no such symptoms here symptoms answered the surgeon are not always regular nor constant i've known very unfavorable symptoms in the morning changed to favorable ones at noon and returned to unfavorable again at night of wounds indeed it is rightly and truly said nimo repenti fruit to prismus i was once i remember called to a patient who had received a violent contusion in his tibia by which the exterior cutis was lacerated so that there was a profuse sanguinary discharge and the interior membranes were so divelicated that the osse or bone very plainly appeared through the aperture of the bone or wound some febrile symptoms intervening at the same time for the pulse was exuberant and indicated much phlebotomy i apprehended an immediate mortification to prevent which i presently made a large orifice in the vein of the left arm when i drew 20 ounces of blood which i expected to have found extremely sizey or glutinous or indeed coagulated as it is in cleritic complaints but to my surprise it appeared rosy and florid and its consistency differed little from the blood of those in perfect health i then applied a fomentation to the part which highly answered the intention and after three or four dressings the wound began to discharge a thick pus or matter by which means the cohesion but perhaps i do not make myself perfectly well understood no really answered the lieutenant i cannot say i understand a syllable well sir said the surgeon then i shall not tire your patience in short within six weeks my patient was able to walk upon his legs as perfectly as he could have done before he received the contusion i wish sir said the lieutenant it would be so kind only to inform me whether the wound this young gentleman hath had the misfortune to receive is likely to prove mortal sir answered the surgeon to say whether a wound will prove mortal or not at first dressing would be very weak and foolish presumption we are all mortal and symptoms often occur in a cure which the greatest of our profession could never foresee but do you think him in danger says the other in danger i surely cries the doctor who is there among us who in the most perfect health can be said not to be in danger can a man therefore with so bad a wound as this be said to be out of danger all i can say at present is that it is well i was called as i was and perhaps it would have been better if i had been called sooner i will see him again early in the morning and in the meantime let him be kept extremely quiet and drink liberally of water gruel won't you allow him sackway said the landlady i i sackway cries the doctor if you will provided it be very small and a little chicken broth too added she yes yes chicken broth said the doctor it is very good meantime they come some jellies to said the landlady i i answered the doctor jellies are very good for wounds where they promote cohesion and indeed it was lucky she had not named soup or high sauces for the doctor would have complied rather than have lost the custom of the house the doctor was no sooner gone than the landlady began to trumpet forth his fame to the lieutenant who had not from their short acquaintance conceived quite so favorable an opinion of his physical abilities as the good woman and all the neighborhood entertained and perhaps very rightly for though i am afraid the doctor was a little of a coxcomb he might be nevertheless very much of a surgeon the lieutenant having collected from the learned discourse of the surgeon that mr. jones was in great danger gave orders for keeping mr. northerton under a very strict guard designing in the morning to attend him to a justice of the peace and to commit the conducting of the troops to Gloucester to the french lieutenant who though he could neither read write nor speak any language was however a good officer in the evening our commander sent a message to mr. jones that if a visit would not be troublesome he would wait on him this civility was very kindly and thankfully received by jones and the lieutenant accordingly went up to his room where he found the wounded man much better than he expected nay jones assured his friend that if he had not received express orders to the contrary from the surgeon he should have got up long ago for he appeared to be himself as well as ever and felt no other inconvenience from his wound but an extreme soreness on that side of the head i should be very glad quote the lieutenant if you was as well as you fancy yourself for then you could be able to do yourself justice immediately for when a matter can't be made up as in case of a blow the sooner you take him out the better but i'm afraid you think yourself better than you are and he would have too much advantage over you i'll try however answered jones if he please and will be so kind to lend me a sword for i have none here of my own my sword is hardly at your service my dear boy cries the lieutenant kissing him you are a brave lad and i love your spirit but i fear your strength for such a blow and so much loss of blood must have very much weakened you and though you feel no want of strength in your bed yet you most probably would after a thrust or two i can't consent to your taking him out tonight but i hope you will be able to come up with us before we get many days march advance and i give you my honor you shall have satisfaction or the man who has injured you shan't stay in our regiment i wish said jones was possible to decide this matter tonight now you have mentioned it to me i shall not be able to rest oh never think of it return the other a few days will make no difference the wounds of honor are not like those in your body they suffer nothing by the delay of cure it will be all together as well for you to receive satisfaction a week hence as now but suppose says jones i should grow worse and die of the consequences of my present wound then your honor answered the lieutenant will require no reparation at all i myself will do justice to your character and testify to the world your intention to have acted properly if you had recovered still replied jones i'm concerned at the delay i'm almost afraid to mention it to you who are soldier but though i have been a very wild young fellow still in my most serious moments and at the bottom i really am a christian so am i too i assure you said the officer and so zealous a one but i was pleased with you at dinner for taking up the cause of your religion and i'm a little offended with you now young gentleman that you should express a fear of declaring your faith before anyone but how terrible it must be cries jones to anyone who is really a christian to cherish malice in his breast in opposition to the command of him who has expressly forbid it how can i bear to do this on a sick bed or how shall i make up my account with such an article as this in my bosom against me why i believe there is such a command cries the lieutenant but a man of honor can't keep it and you must be a man of honor if you will be in the army i remember i once put the case to our chaplain over a bowl of punch and he confessed there was much difficulty in it but he said he hoped there might be a latitude granted to soldiers in this one instance and to be sure it is our duty to hope so for who would bear to live without his honor no no my dear boy be a good christian as long as you live but be a man of honor too it never put up in a front not all the books nor all the persons in the world shall ever persuade me to that i love my religion very well but i love my honor more there must be some mistake in the wording the text or in the translation or in the understanding of it or somewhere or other but however that may be a man must run the risk for he must preserve his honor so compose yourself tonight and i promise you you shall have an opportunity of doing yourself justice here he gave jones a hearty bus shook him by the hand and took his leave but though the lieutenant's reasoning was very satisfactory to himself it was not entirely so to his friend jones therefore having resolved this matter much in his thoughts at last came to a resolution which the reader will find in the next chapter chapter 14 a most dreadful chapter indeed and which few readers ought to venture upon in an evening especially when alone jones swallowed a large mess of chicken or rather cock broth with a very good appetite as indeed he would have done the cock if it was made of with a pound of bacon into the bargain and now finding in himself no deficiency of either health or spirit he resolved to get up and seek his enemy but first he sent for the sergeant who was his first acquaintance among these military gentlemen unlikely that were the officer having in a literal sense taken his swill of liquor had been sometime retired to his bolster where he was snoring so loud that it was not easy to convey a noise in at his ears capable of drowning that which issued from his nostrils however as jones persisted in his desire of seeing him a vociferous drawer at length found means to disturb his slumbers and to acquaint him with the message of which the sergeant was no sooner made sensible than he arose from his bed and having his clothes already on immediately attended jones did not think fit to acquaint the sergeant with his design though he might have done it with great safety for the halberdier was himself a man of honor and had killed his man he would therefore faithfully kept this secret or indeed any other which no reward was published for discovering but as jones knew not those virtues in so shortened acquaintance his caution was perhaps prudent and commendable enough he began therefore by acquainting the sergeant that as he was now entered into the army he was ashamed of being without what was perhaps the most necessary implement of a soldier namely a sword adding that he should be infinitely obliged to him if he could procure one for which says he i will give you any reasonable price nor do i insist upon it's being silver hilted only a good blade and such as may become a soldier's thigh the sergeant who well knew what had happened and had heard that jones was in a very dangerous condition immediately concluded from such a message at such a time of night and from a man in such a situation that he was lightheaded now as he had his wit to use that word in its common signification always ready he bethought himself of making his advantage of this humor in the sick man sir says he i believe i can fit you i have a most excellent piece of stuff by me it is not indeed silver hilted which as you say death not become a soldier but the handle is decent enough and the blade one of the best in europe it is a blade that a blade that in short i will fetch it you this instant and you will see it and handle it i'm glad to see your honor so well with all my heart being instantly returned with the sword he delivered it to jones who took it and drew it and then told the sergeant it would do very well and bid him name his price the sergeant now began to harangue and praise of the his goods he said nay he swore very heartily that the blade was taken from a french officer very high rank at the battle of i took it myself says he from his side after i had knocked him on the head the hilt was a golden one that i sold to one of our fine gentlemen for there are some of them and please your honor who value the hilt of a sword more than the blade here the other stopped him and begged him to name a price the sergeant who thought jones absolutely out of his senses and very near his end was afraid lest he should injure his family by asking too little however after a moment's hesitation he contented himself with naming 20 guineas and swore he would not sell it to less for his own brother 20 guineas says jones in the utmost surprise sure you think i am mad or that i never saw a sword in my life 20 guineas indeed i did not imagine you would endeavor to impose upon me here take the sword no now i think on it i will keep it myself and show your officer in the morning acquainting him at the same time what a price you asked me for it the sergeant as we have said had always his word about him and now plainly saw that jones was not in the condition he had apprehended him to be he now therefore counterfeited as great surprise as the other had shown and said i am certain sir i have not asked you so much out of the way besides you are to consider it is the only sword i have and must run the risk of my officer's displeasure by going without one myself and truly putting all this together i don't think 20 shillings was so much out of the way 20 shillings guys jones why you just now asked me 20 guineas how cries the sergeant sure your honor must have mistaken me or else i mistook myself and indeed i am but half awake 20 guineas indeed no wonder your honor flew into a such a passion i say 20 guineas too no no i mean 20 shillings i assure you and when your honor comes to consider everything i hope you will not think that's so extravagant a price it is indeed true you may buy a weapon which looks as well for less money but here jones interrupted him saying i will be so far for making any words with you that i will give you a shilling more than your demand he then gave him a guinea bit him return to his bed and wished him a good march adding he hoped to overtake them before the division reached swester the sergeant very civilly took his leave fully satisfied with his merchandise and not a little pleased with his dexterous recovery from that false step into which his opinion of the sick man's lightheadedness had betrayed him as soon as the sergeant was departed jones rose from his bed and dressed himself entirely putting on even his coat which as its color was white showed very visibly the streams of blood which had flowed down it and now having grasped his new purchased sword in his hand he was going to issue fourth when the thought of what he was about to undertake laid suddenly hold of him and he began to reflect that in a few minutes he might possibly deprive a human being of life or might lose his own very well said he and in what cause do i venture my life why in that of my honor and who is this human being a rascal who has injured and insulted me without provocation but is not revenge forbidden by heaven yes but it is enjoined by the world well but shall i obey the world in opposition to the express commands of heaven shall i incur the divine displeasure rather than be called huh coward scoundrel i'll think no more i'm resolved and must bite him the clock had now struck 12 and everyone in the house were in their beds except the sentinel who stood to guard northerton when jones softly opening his door issued forth in pursuit of his enemy of whose place of confinement he had received a perfect description from the drawer it is not easy to conceive a much more tremendous figure than he now exhibited he had on as we have said a light colored coat covered with streams of blood his face which missed that very blood as well as 20 ounces more drawn from him by the surgeon was pallid round his head was a quantity of bandage not unlike a turban in the right hand he carried a sword and in the left a candle so that the bloody banquet was not worthy to be compared to him in fact i believe a more dreadful apparition was never raised in a churchyard nor in the imagination of any good people met in a winter evening over a christmas fire in summerset shire when the sentinel first saw our hero approach his hair began gently to lift up his grenadier cap and in the same instant his knees fell to blows with each other presently his whole body was seized with worse than an aug fit he then fired his piece and fell flat on his face whether fear or courage was the occasion of his firing or whether he took aim at the object of his terror i cannot say if he did however he had the good fortune to miss his man jones seeing the fellow fall guessed the cause of his fright at which he could not forebear smiling not in the least reflecting on the danger from which he had just escaped he then passed by the fellow who was still continued in the posture in which he fell and entered the room where northerton as he had heard was confined here in a solitary situation he found an empty court pot standing on the table on which some beer had been spilt it looked as if the room had lately been inhabited but at present it was entirely vacant jones then apprehended it might lead to some other apartment but upon searching all around he could perceive no other door than that at which he entered and where the sentinel had been posted he then proceeded to call northerton several times by his name but no one answered nor did this serve to any other purpose than to confirm the sentinel in his terrors who was now convinced that the volunteer was dead of his wounds and that his ghost was come in search of the murderer he now lay in all the agonies of horror and i wished with all my heart some of those actors who are hereafter to represent a man frighted out of his wits had seen him that they might be taught to copy nature instead of performing several antique tricks and gestures for the entertainment and applause of the galleries perceiving the bird was flown at least despairing to find him and rightly apprehending that the report of the firelock would alarm the whole house our hero now blew out his candle and gently stole back again to his chamber and to his bed whether he would not have been able to have gotten undiscovered had any other person been on the same staircase save only one gentleman who was confined to his bed by the gout for before he could reach the door to his chamber the hall where the sentinel had been posted was half full of people some in their shirts and others not half dressed all very earnestly inquiring of each other what was the matter the soldier was now found lying in the same place in posture in which we just now left him several immediately applied themselves to raise him and some concluded him dead but they presently saw their mistake for he not only struggled with those who laid their hands on him but fell a roaring like a bull in reality he imagined so many spirits or devils were handling him for his imagination being possessed with the horror of an apparition converted every other object he saw or felt into nothing but ghosts and specters at length he was overpowered by numbers and got upon his legs when candles being broad and seeing two or three of his comrades present he came a little to himself but when they asked him what was the matter he answered i am a dead man that's all i am a dead man i can't recover it i have seen him what has thou seen jack says one of the soldiers why i have seen that young volunteer that was killed yesterday he then implicated the most heavy curses on himself if he had not seen the volunteer all over blood vomiting fire out of his mouth and nostrils passed by him into the chamber where ensign northerton was and then seizing the ensign by the throat fly away with him in a clap of thunder this relation met with a gracious reception from the audience all the women present believed it firmly and prayed heaven to defend them from murder amongst the men too many had faith in the story but others turned it into derision and ridicule and a sergeant who was present answered very coolly young man you will hear more of this for going to sleep and dreaming on your post the soldier replied you may punish me if you please but i was as broad awake as i am now and the devil carry me away as he half the ensign if i did not see the dead man as i tell you with eyes as big and as fiery as two large flambeau the commander of the forces and the commander of the house were now both arrived for the former being awake at the time and hearing the sentinel fire his peace thought it was his duty to rise immediately though he had no great apprehensions of any mischief whereas the apprehensions of the latter were much greater lest her spoons and tankards should be upon the march without having received any such orders from her our poor sentinel to whom the sight of this officer was not much more welcome than the apparition as he thought it which he had seen before again related the dreadful story and with many additions of blood and fire but he had the misfortune to gain no credit with either of the last mentioned persons for the officer though a very religious man was free from all terrors of this kind besides having so lately left jones in the condition we have seen he had no suspicion of his being dead as for the landlady though not overly religious she had no kind of aversion to the doctrine of spirits but there was a circumstance in the tale which she well knew to be false as we shall inform the reader presently but whether northerton was carried away in the thunder of fire or in whatever other manner he was gone it was now certain that his body was no longer in custody upon this occasion the lieutenant formed a conclusion not very different from what the sergeant has just mentioned to have made before and immediately ordered the sentinel to be taken prisoner so that by a strange reverse infortune though not very uncommon in military life the guard became the guarded chapter 15 the conclusion of the foregoing adventure besides the suspicion of sleep the lieutenant harbored another in worst doubt against the poor sentinel and this was that of treachery for as he believed not one syllable of the apparition so he imagined the whole to be an invention formed only to impose upon him and that the fellow had in reality been bribed by northerton to let him escape and this he imagined the rather as the fright appeared to him the more unnatural and one who had the character of as brave and bold a man as any in the regiment having been in several actions having received several wounds and in a word having behaved himself always like a good and valiant soldier that the reader therefore may not conceive the least ill opinion of such a person we shall not delay a moment in rescuing his character from the imputation of this guilt mr northerton then as we have observed was fully satisfied with the glory which he had obtained from this action he had perhaps seen or heard or guessed that envy is apt to attend fame nor that i would here insinuate that he was heathenishly inclined to believe in or to worship the goddess nemesis for in fact i am convinced he had never heard her name he was besides of an active disposition and had a great antipathy to those close quarters in the castle of blaster for which a justice of peace might possibly give him a billet nor was he moreover free from some uneasy meditations on a certain wooden edifice